Back to the Blogosphere! I plan to spend this next week getting caught up with everyone. Hope you all had a fantastic Christmas!

After I last posted on Dec 19th, the next day - which was the day before my birthday - I got online to check my e-mail and was stunned to read the headline on my homepage: one of my favorite actresses, Brittany Murphy, age 32, had died. Tears came to my eyes. I was in disbelief. Not Brittany, the most full-of-life and energetic actress I can think of. Not Brittany, who was just two years older than me. Not Brittany, who had starred in several major motion pictures and who I had expected to be in many, many more. Not Brittany, who had repeated over the years that she was healthy, despite rumors of anorexia or drug use.

But it was true. Cardiac arrest. Her mother, whom she still lived with, found her unconscious in the shower at approximately 8 am on Sunday, December 20, 2009. How awful. . . just five days before Christmas my "Hollywood friend" was gone.

The first time I saw Brittany was like most other people, in Clueless, which I saw at the theater with my mom and maternal grandmother in 1995. But it was 2001/2002 when she really caught my attention because I happened to see FOUR of her movies in one year: Girl, Interrupted (which had come out in '99), Summer Catch (released '01), Don't Say A Word (released '01), and Riding In Cars With Boys (released '01). Each character was so different from the last, she played such a variety of types of characters, I was like who is this super talented actress?! I then began seeing her on talk shows and reading articles about her in magazines. She seemed like a sweet, good, down-to-earth person. I loved her sense of humor and yet she also seemed like someone you could cry with.

Throughout my life I've chosen my favorite actress based on three factors 1) Their talent 2) If we have similarities/things in common 3) I connect with them and actually feel I could be their friend if I knew them in "real life."

As a child it was Soleil Moon Frye who played Punky Brewster, then it was Anna Chlumsky who played Vada in the movie My Girl, and in high school and college it was Reese Witherspoon. (Mixed in was also Beverly Hills 90210 star Jennie Garth and Days Of Our Lives actress Krista Allen.) Otherwise, there are a lot of stars I like (Sandra Bullock, Sarah Jessica Parker, etc.) but nobody I can think of that has made me want to buy all of their movies or every magazine they are on the cover of and follow their life - but that's what happened with Brittany Murphy.

The movie, Just Married, came out the same year I was getting married (2003) and is still one of my favs, as well as Little Black Book (2004). She was loveable in Uptown Girls with Dakota Fanning and received national acclaim for her role in Eminem's true story, 8 Mile, as well as Sin City. I liked her voicework in Happy Feet (2006) and I even rented some of her less-known DVDs like Dead Girl (it came out in 2006, I saw it either Halloween 2007 or 2008).In 2004, I took a picture of her to my hair stylist and said, "I want to look like her!" Aside from us both being 5'3" we had similar coloring. Back when I was on MySpace, my profile song was often her #1 hit, "Faster Kill Pussycat" with Paul Oakenfield (2006).

Three movies of Brittany's are set to still come out; her final film is titled Abandoned and could possibly be released in 2010. I can't believe she died before ever receiving an Oscar. She definitely left this earth too soon.

Brittany was born in Atlanta, Georgia on November 10, 1977. She was an only child (first similarity to me) and her parents split up when she was two years old (second similarity to me). She was raised as Baptist and later became a non-denominational Christian (I was raised Catholic and later became a non-denominational Christian). When she was 9, her mother moved to Los Angeles so Brittany could pursue her interest in being an actress. She received her first role at the age of 14 in a TV show and continued small parts on television for the next three years before she broke through as a film actress. (But she still acted on TV off & on over the years.)

In 2002, Brittany began dating Ashton Kutcher (from Iowa, where I am from) but he broke up with her to date Demi Moore whom he later married. She then became engaged in 2004 to Jeff Kwatinetz, a talent manager, however they parted ways and then she became engaged to Joe Macaluso, a production assistant, in December 2005. In May 2007, Murphy married British screenwriter Simon Monjack whom she was still married to at the time of her death.

In 2005 when there was speculation as to whether she did cocaine she said, "Just for the record I have never tried it in my entire life, I've never even seen it, and I don't leave the house too much, except to go to work."

"My worst vice is caffeine ... [the rumour is] really pretty darn far-fetched. I have known people over the course of my life that have bad problems with drugs, and it's something really serious."

This rumor came because she denied having an eating disorder, since she appeared much thinner in her twenties than as a teenager. "I'm the same size I was in Clueless," Brittany said in regards to her tiny frame. "It's just that the weight in your face changes as you grow and get older... I used to feel embarrassed about being too tiny. It made me really self-conscious — then I came to terms with it. This is my body; I'm proud of it, so who cares? Now I've stopped trying to eat 12 eggs for breakfast. I'm healthy, which is the most important thing."

Brittany had said that 2010 was the year she had planned to try for a baby with her husband.

Her Memorial Service was on Christmas Eve 2009. It will be weeks before toxicology results come back but police say that there were no illegal substances found in the home. In the meantime there is only speculation as to what caused a 32-year-old to have a heart attack. She was recently made fun of in a Saturday Night Live skit for acting "out of it" during a recent interview and she was replaced in her last movie. (Executives say that they mutually parted ways - she was not fired like some reports.) The final pictures of her (taken December 3rd) make my heart drop, as she is missing the normal sparkle to her eyes, she does not look happy. . .she does look on the verge of death.It has also been rumored that she recently had plastic surgery and may have become addicted to painkillers. Also, her husband was not well-liked in her Hollywood circle and may have been involved in money fraud. He is reported as saying he did not want an autopsy (but the police department did anyway, since her death is under investigation). In the days before her death, Brittany complained of flu-like symptoms. The day before she died, the actress watched movies in bed with her husband as they ate Thai takeout.

"Brittany was tired and a little sad because she was sick," her husband said. He says his wife was taking herbal remedies for a heart murmur. Meanwhile, her mom said she may have had diabetes. An insider to law enforcement says that many prescription bottles were found in her home, so it may just be another case of an accidental overdose due to combined prescription medication - i.e. the same thing that killed Michael Jackson, Heath Ledger, Anna Nicole Smith as well as her son.

Any of these reasons seem so incredibly senseless to me. . . but then again, I'm not sure any explanation will be good enough. No matter what, my favorite actress is gone and I'm sad that she had to leave on this dark note. But she will not be forgotten. Her wonderful bubbly and warm personality, and terrific acting talent will be remembered every time I, or anyone else, watch one of her movies that is recorded for eternity. In fact, now that I'm back from Christmas travels I will be watching her movies back to back. May you rest in peace, Brittany Murphy.

(Pics taken the week of my birthday last year)

This will be it from me until the last week of December since my friend Sarah is visiting again from Seattle. . .and then it's Christmas! So I want to wish everyone a merry Christmas now and hope you all have a great holiday!Since my last update post on Tuesday, not much to report this week - Friday Logan turned 20 months old and I wrapped all of our Christmas gifts, Thursday I didn't do much other than enjoy our new TV - and also having Lifetime Movie Network for the first time in my life, haha - and Wednesday I had a phone interview with an Emmy Award Winning production company from New York! They found my blog post I wrote last month about Cosmo's cancer (Petland - Don't Ever Buy A Dog From A Pet Store) and wanted to talk to me about being featured in an a documentary they are making! They are speaking to hundreds of people so I don't know if our story is one they will actually film for their documentary, but it was a neat surprise and exciting opportunity nonetheless!

Wednesday was also the start of Logan's full day a week at Babysitter's. It went great. She said when it was naptime she put him in the pack n play and he sat there and stared at everyone for a few minutes without making a sound and then must have realized what was going on because he laid down and went to sleep.

I guess he's not going on to a new sleep phase after all! He has requested every nap and bedtime himself this week, been sleeping until after 7 am in his crib, and Thursday & Friday took 4 hr naps. He's also eating vegetables and everything else without acting picky at all.

This age is so much better than last year! I mean, he was a doll last year and I had fun with him then, too, but - for example, earlier this week Joe and I played Guitar Hero. We received it for Christmas 2007 and played it all of the time during my second & third trimester of pregnancy. I hadn't played it once since Logan was born in April 2008, and Joe not much more than that! But these days we can do anything and everything we used to do! Yet, it's also so much better because we have this little guy in our life who is seriously the happiest person I've ever met. I pray he always is. . .don't grow up to be a bitter adult, Logan, because right now you are practically giddy nearly every minute. You love life. Every minute you are in awe of something. You have always had a light in your eyes. Don't ever let go of your positive outlook in life. You were born with this and so it will always be within you. I am envious of you!

Needless to say, life is good right now. I know a lot of people thought I was weird during the 0-7 month phase when I said it was easy - but I thought the 7-14 month phase was very hard. Maybe that's part of why I hated turning 29 last year. . .because I am surprised that thirty (on Monday, December 21st!) doesn't seem so bad anymore. I guess I've had all year to prepare, and Joe turned 30 in July, and also everyone tells me that the thirties are so much better than the twenties. I think it was that which has made turning 30 the easiest, because I'd rather be 30 and have my favorite decade in the future rather than to have it behind me. I wouldn't care to relive my twenties. Except for the part of it when I was in college :) (Wouldn't mind having some no stress, no responsibility days where all you knew for sure was that it was going to be fun and exciting!)

So, I've decided to finish this post using the "ghost of Christmas past" idea in regards to reflecting on my - in 2 days - thirty years of life based on my most pivotal years. It was fun to research this stuff and I think anyone who has lived these years will be able to appreciate this! Here's what you'd see if you came back in time with me. . .

*I was born at 2:15 pm on December 21, 1979. The #1 song that day was "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)" by Rupert Holmes. Peasant tunics were the fashion. The top movie at the box office was Star Trek: The Motion Picture. I lived in an orange house with red carpet in the living room, gold wallpaper and floors in the kitchen, and green and blue carpet in the bedrooms.

*1982-1984, my parents separated when I was two and their divorce was final when I was four. I stayed in our house with my mom, while my dad lived in a couple of apartment complexes. My mom was a Spanish teacher, my dad worked for law enforcement and was in the National Guard. Ronald Reagan was President. My Fisher Price Tape Recorder was my favorite toy. I received my first Cabbage Patch doll and Care Bear. I loved Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers' Nighborhood on PBS. We had 4 channels on our antenna television set. My mom's favorite show was Dallas and I remember her watching the finale' with my grandparents. My dad's favorite was M*A*S*H. MTV launched music videos. Michael Jackson was The King Of Pop. The PG-13 rating was introduced. Top grossing films were ET, Star Wars Episode VI, Ghostbusters, and Indiana Jones and the Temple Of Doom. My favorites of that year when I got older would end up being Footloose and the Brat Pack's St. Elmo's Fire. The Neverending Story came out a year later. I played with my boy friends' transformers and knew who He-Man, Superwoman, and Hulk Hogan were.*1986 my dad remarried and moved into a nearby house. The Challenger Explosion happened on January 28th. I hated Garbage Pail Kids. I started first grade. My favorite singer was Madonna. My favorite song was "Bad Boys" by Gloria Estefan and The Miami Sound Machine. I wore leg warmers. Women did aerobics for exercise. Loved Flashdance. I was Punky Brewster for Halloween and wanted to be her forever. I loved My Little Pony and Rainbow Brite. I thought The Clapper was very cool (and my dad bought it). Cracking an egg in a skillet always made me want to just say no to drugs. It was hip for boys to wear an earring. Everyone ate McDonalds. I wore jelly shoes. I wasn't allowed to watch Dirty Dancing, but I did anyway! My favorite show was Our House, it aired on NBC Sundays from 7 to 8 pm. My mom's favorite was Kate & Allie, on Mondays from 8 to 8:30 on CBS. We loved Who's The Boss and Growing Pains on ABC Tuesdays 8-9 pm. On Wednesdays we watched Highway to Heaven, NBC, 8-9 pm. On Thursdays we watched The Cosby Show and Family Ties NBC, 8-9 pm. My mom watched Cheers after I went to bed. I loved Johnny-Five!!! (I saw Short Circuit in the theater) Goonies had come out the year before.

*1987 my half-brother was born, son of my dad & stepmom. One of my all-time fav songs, Alone, by Heart was #1 that week (July 9, 1987). I started second grade. I had a sticker collection. I loved Barbies. Bubalicious bubble gum. I tried Lee Press On Nails. Red was the popular color of nail polish. I took plastic cartoon lunchboxes to school. I loved Debbie Gibson and Tiffany. Jon Bon Jovi! For fashion, denim jackets became popular as well as Hawaiian shirts. Head bands. The Facts Of Life. My favorite TV show was Star Search. My mom's was ThirtySomething and The Phil Donahue Show. I had a VCR at both my mom and dad's house, my favorite VHS' to rent were Back to the Future, Karate Kid, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and Superman. My dad owned our first computer! Never had Nintendo but loved playing Super Mario Brothers at friends' houses.

*1988 my dad & stepmom divorced, my mom married my stepdad who was an assistant manager of a major company and we moved to a new town (2.5 hrs from where I had lived since birth). I started third grade. I loved Book It and Pizza Hut! My favorite activity was rollerSKATING. I wore Esprit clothing. I wore banana clips and barettes with woven ribbons. My favorite commercial was Oscar Mayer. Loved Tiger Beat magazine. Judy Blume!!! Rap or Hip Hop music - Mc Hammer vs Vanilla Ice. My favorite band was New Kids On The Block, especially Joe. I had a boom box. Saturday morning cartoons rocked (Smurfs, Scooby Doo, Inspector Gadget, Jem and The Hollograms, The Gummy Bears, etc). We had cable with Nickelodeon!!! And VH1. My mom became a fan of The Oprah Winfrey Show. Received a pink and purple 12 speed bike for Christmas! President Bush was elected. Boys at school had rat tails, men wore mullets. I had a perm. The top ten songs were:
1. "Need You Tonight," INXS
2. "Look Away," Chicago
3. "Roll With It," Steve Winwood
4. "Every Rose Has Its Thorn," Poison
5. "Got My Mind Set On You," George Harrison
6. "So Emotional," Whitney Houston
7. "Seasons Change," Expose
8. "Baby I Love Your Way/Freebird Medley," Will to Power
9. "Could've Been," Tiffany
10. "Never Gonna Give You Up," Rick Astley

*1991 my dad married my current stepmother, an Army nurse (she had 3 adult children who lived in another state) and moved into a new house (still in the same city). I started sixth grade. I wore side pony tails with scrunchies. Biking shorts! I had a walk-man. I wore high-tops, boys wore pump shoes. I had straight hair but permed bangs that I always hairsprayed. Boys had flat tops and shaved lines in their sideburns. I loved snap bracelets. I remember when Pee Wee wasn't a pervert. I said "not" after almost every sentence. I got my first period. :p I used the expression, "Gag me with a spoon!" Fluorescent or neon clothing was in style, as well as hoop earrings (I'd gotten my ears pierced when I was 4). I liked Milli Vanilli - until finding out they were fake. Wilson Phillips. Nelson. Amy Grant. Full House and TGIF!!! I'd never heard anything about sports or knew a team until the Chicago Bulls. I had a Best Friends necklace. I watched Saved By The Bell. America's Funniest Home Videos had premiered the year before. My stepdad and I watched MacGyver on Monday nights from 8-9 pm on ABC, my mom watched Murphy Brown from 9-10 pm on CBS. My favorite show was Rescue 911 on Tuesdays, CBS, from 8-9 pm. We watched Unsolved Mysteries on Wednesdays from 8-9 on NBC, and what would be my favorite for 10 years: Beverly Hills 90210 on Fox, Thursdays, 9-10 pm. I also loved the NBC Sunday night movies - in fact, that summer one was filmed in the town where I lived based on a family from another town. Little did I know my husband would be from there and was friends with the actual family (he took one of the girls to homecoming and is still friends to this day with her sister. . .sadly, the one he took to the dance committed suicide the following year).

*1992-1993: Junior high. Fashion was the midriff shirt, exposing the belly button (which was often being pierced for the first time). Body suits. I wore leggings and felt stylish. Even the ones with stir-ups! Flower dresses. Pink was the color of nail polish. Grunge came into style - baggy jeans. Overalls. In another year flannel shirts would be in style. So would Alanis Morisette. Baywatch. I read all of The Babysitter's Club books (and had their calendar and game). My favorite commercial was "I've fallen and I can't get up." I had a trapper keeper and all Lisa Frank folders. Talk to the hand. . . yeah said that. My favorite game was Girl Talk. I tried Buns, Legs, Arms, and Abs of Steel. The top 10 movies of 1992 were: Aladdin, Home Alone 2, Batman Returns, Lethal Weapon 3, A Few Good Men, Sister Act, The Bodyguard, Wayne's World, Basic Instinct, and A League of Their Own. The #1 song was "All 4 Love" by Color Me Badd. In 1993 the #1 song was "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston. My favorite was "I Swear" by All 4 One. The top 5 movies were: Jurassic Park, Mrs. Doubtfire, The Fugitive, The Firm, and Sleepless in Seattle. My favorite author was R.L. Stine (loved Fear Street books). Read Teen, Seventeen, and YM Magazines. People started rollerblading. President was Bill Clinton. In a couple of years Clueless would come out.

*1998 I graduated from high school. My stepdad became manager and transferred back to where I lived the first 8 yrs of my life and he & my mom still reside there. Everyone now had a CD player and e-mail address/used the internet. I knew The Macarena by heart. Nsync vs Backstreet Boys. The year before came The Titanic. Loved Celine Dion. DC Talk, Jars Of Clay, and other Christian alternative music was big amongst teenagers, as well as blue and green nail polish. Had gotten my driver's license in '96 and drove a Chevy Blazer -- Smashing Pumpkins was big that year. Friends. . .and The Rachel Cut. Had my first kiss in '97. The top 5 songs in '98 were: "Too Close" by Next, "The Boy Is Mine" by Brandy and Monica, "You're Still the One" by Shania Twain, "Truly Madly Deeply" by Savage Garden, and "How Do I Live" by LeAnn Rimes. The top 3 movies were: Saving Private Ryan, Armageddon, and There's Something About Mary. The top 10 shows included Touched By An Angel, Early Edition, Sabrina The Teenage Witch, and Sister, Sister which had all been my favs for the past several years. I was also addicted to Days Of Our Lives when the character Susan was on. Kickboxing was the popular form of exercise. I moved away on my own for the first time as I started college. Preppy clothes were in style - khakis, capri pants, skinny jeans, sweater vests, and wool scarves. The zig-zag part. The following year I watched Dawson's Creek and saw American Pie at the theater. Barney and Teletubbies were popular with the children.

*2000 I started dating my husband on May 1st! The year of the millennium! Y2K concerns. . .reality TV began. . .DVD players. . .Napster. . .Furbies. . .Britney Spears Vs Christina Aguilera. J-Lo. Eminem. Song of the year was "Who Let The Dogs Out" by Baha Men. Remember "The Thong Song"?! Not sure which one was worse - that or "The Discovery Channel" song. Extremely pointed toe boots were in style. I wore a lot of buttoned long-sleeve shirts. Yoga and pilates were the best exercise. The Matrix. Who Wants To Be A Millionare. My dad moved into his current house (still in the same area and where they reside today). George Bush became the President.

*2002 The previous year had included the biggest event from my history: 9/11/01, the attack on the World Trade Center. I got engaged Valentine's Day 2002. I graduated from college May 2002. I had my first full-time job and lived alone for the only time. The top 5 songs were: "A Thousand Miles" by Vanessa Carlton, "Get the Party Started" by Pink, "Complicated" by Avril Lavigne, "Dilemma" by Nelly featuring Kelly Rowland, and "In the End" by Linkin Park. Scrapbooking became a popular hobby. Highlights were in. French manicures. Dr. Phil and Sex & The City were my favorite TV shows.

*2003 I got married and moved to a new state. I received my first text message and had no clue what the heck was going on with my phone, haha! Not long after that I joined what would soon become the texting craze. Designer Dogs (I bought my first maltipoo in 2005 and my second in 2006). Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey. The top movies were Lord of The Rings and Pirates of The Caribbean (which I never had an interest in, nor did I Harry Potter the year or two before. . .similar to how I am with the Twilight mania now)! The following year Passion of the Christ and The Notebook would come out in theaters - I had read the Nicholas Sparks book years before and it's still one of my all-time favs. Track suits were about to become popular (especially Juicy Couture) which I still support! Burgundy nail polish. American Idol (I began watching it in 2004)! The next year Desperate Housewives premiered (I watched 2004-2007) and the year after that, Grey's Anatomy (I watched 2005-2007) -- McDreamy vs McSteamy!

*2007 I got pregnant, my husband & I moved to our second house, and was told my first book was being published. Not long after that I was told my publishing line had closed and therefore I would not be getting published after all. Huge sunglasses were in style. Black nail polish. The previous year The Hummer vehicle had reached its most popular. David Beckham! :-) Flat screen TVs. The Tivo/DVR. Strip aerobics. The funniest movie was Knocked Up (until this year when The Hangover came out). My favorite author was Emily Giffin (Something Borrowed, Something Blue, Baby Proof, and Love The One You're With). The Go-Green/organic movement. Dora The Explorer was popular with children. Lost continued to be popular with adults the past three years, as well as Brothers & Sisters since 2006. The top 10 fads in 2007 were:
1. iPods
2. YouTube
3. Wii (esp. Guitar Hero)
4. myspace
5. iPhone
6. Popped Collars
7. Crocs
8. Mp3 Downloads
9. UGG Boots
10. iTunes

*2008 - the best year of my life - my son was born! The eliptical machine for exercise. President Barack Obama was elected so Election Gear was a fad as well as Palin Glasses, Wii Fit, Boyfriend Jeans, and Crazy High Heels. The Hills with Spencer Pratt & Heidi Montag (not by me), and The Girls Next Door. All ages began joining Facebook (as did I, although not as addicted as I was to MySpace from 2005-2008). Twitter. I went public with my blog (blogging first became popular ten years before and has not died)! I hear the kids these days like Miley Cirus, the Jonas Brothers, and Taylor Swift (much more wholesome than the way the decade started)! It will be interesting to see what 2009 "looks like" in the future, however it was not a pivotal year for me. . .so I am much more optimistic about 2010 because it already seems like it's going to be better than 2009 based on the past few months compared with last year! So I'm ready! Let's do it! Bring on year 30. . .and a new decade! :)

The other day a friend and I were talking about Santa. We were relieved to know that we felt the same way, because we are pretty sure we are in the minority! I don't know what the statistics are, but I'm assuming that most families who celebrate Christmas also raise their kids believing in Santa.

I have never wanted to do this.

First let me say, I have nothing against Santa - as you saw last week in my post Santa 8 Mos Vs 19.5 Months, we plan to take Logan to sit on Santa's lap each year. I have Santa decorations around the house and am very positive about him as a symbol of Christmas. I think his story has a great message that should not be forgotten. While obviously the best story of Christmas is the reason we celebrate (the birth of Jesus), there is nothing "un Christian" about Santa Claus.

Saint Nicholas was an actual person. He was bishop of Myra, in Lycia, Asia Minor, in the first part of the fourth century of the Christian era. He was the youngest bishop in the history of the church. He was persecuted and imprisoned with many other Christians during the reign of the Roman emperor Diocletian, and was released and honoured when Constantine the Great established the Christian Church as the official religion.

Nicholas' father was a wealthy merchant and his riches enabled him to be a dispenser of good things of life. He helped many by giving gifts to the less fortunate and so his legacy lives on today.

Except that kids are taught he is alive today. . .coming through their chimney on Christmas Eve and giving them their best gifts. For many families this is no big deal. But for others it is actually traumatizing to learn that Santa Claus doesn't really live at the North Pole and fly through the sky on his sled with reindeer. Like for me (and my friend).

It was Christmas 1987 when I learned that Santa Claus didn't exist. I was in second grade playing at daycare with a girl, when her older brother came over and heard us talking about Santa.

"Santa's not real!" He shouted.

"Of course he is!"

We were stunned he would say something like that. Some of his friends gathered around and they all shouted to us, "No he's not!"

I think the teachers put an end to this discussion, but for the rest of the day I felt like I had a cloud hanging over my head. What had made those boys say that?

That night I was watching a Christmas movie on TV and was reminded of the boys at daycare. I went into the kitchen where my mom was emptying the dishwasher.

"Mom, [whatever his name was] said there is no Santa Claus."

My mom had her back toward me and didn't answer right away.

"Mom?" Suddenly that cloud came back over my head.

She turned around and gave me a small smile. "He's right, honey, Santa Claus is just a fun, imaginary tale."

I was DEVASTATED. I mean, really, truly devastated. I cried. . .I ran to my room and screamed. It was all I could think about that Christmas.

Of course it was worse when I went to my dad's house and he was mad that my mom had told me the truth. . .he wanted me to still believe and so he insisted that Santa came to his house. He set out a video camera in front of my milk and cookies and then the next day when I watched the video it appeared that the milk and cookies had magically disappeared.

But I wasn't fooled. I knew my mom was right and so for the next six years I actually refused to even acknowledge Santa. I ignored anyone who asked me what I wanted from Santa and I didn't like to see anything Santa-related. I was annoyed anytime I heard other parents insisting that Santa was real to their kids.

Now that I'm an adult, I'm not annoyed. I think if other families want to do it that is fine. But I will never forget how it felt to be lied to by everyone around me. I didn't understand how my parents could be so strict about honesty and yet they had deceived me for so many years. I took it as a betrayal. So I can't knowingly do that to Logan or any other kids I have in the future.

We will still play along - they can write letters to Santa if they want and we can even leave out milk & cookies - but they will know the whole time that it is a fun, make-believe, game. Just like the Easter Bunny, just like the Tooth Fairy. (Which is why those didn't bother me when I was a child.)

The only thing is that my friend and I don't want OUR kids to be the ones to spoil it for the others! So this might be tricky. . .I hope that Logan will understand when I tell him not to tell others who want to believe that Santa is real.

Dr. Phil covered this topic very briefly on his show Monday. The majority of the audience believed in letting the child figure out for themselves that Santa wasn't real. He agreed that if your child asks you, you should not lie. But I wish they would have discussed this topic a bit more - because generally it's not an "aha moment" that a child just suddenly figures it out - they are usually told by someone else and that's what I want to avoid because by then it is too late. I want to be the one to tell Logan because he trusts me that I am - and always will be - honest with him. I'm not going to make a big deal about telling him; right now he's not even 20 months old so we'll just take it year by year. But when he is old enough to understand, he will know the whole story. And I am confident he will still think Christmas is the most fun holiday! :) I'll end with pics of me as a child during Christmas 1984, 1985, and 1986 (I had just turned 5, 6, and 7).

Today is The UnMom's Random Thoughts Tuesday! Logan's eczema is gone again--yeay!!!! So I'm definitely a fan of Aveeno (which I began using on him Saturday). I won't be quitting with lotion this time - he's getting it 3 times every day no matter what the season (and I'll continue following the other things for eczema that I mentioned in yesterday's post, Snow Day).

He went down for his nap easily on Monday as well as today (Tuesday) and last night at 8 pm for bed time. He slept 'til 8 am yesterday and 7:30 am this morning. Yesterday's nap wasn't until 3 pm because Brooke and her 7.5 month old daughter Kaelyn came over in the morning and stayed until then. The days go by so fast when we have "Stay At Home Mom Day" - we had so much fun having girl talk. I think Logan is getting to an age where he can start playing with other kids rather than just around them so it was cute to even see them briefly play together. Kaelyn is starting to crawl and has two teeth so that was cute!

Today Logan requested "bed. bed" by pointing upstairs for naptime. We had just gotten home from helping Daddy. Joe had called because he was stuck in snow, and when he got out of the car to dig himself out, he accidentally locked his keys in the ignition with the car still on!!! Unfortunately, he was on Offut Airforce Base where no one is allowed without a special pass, so he asked if I would take his spare keys to his office and then his boss could bring them to him on the Base.

When I got to Joe's office his boss wasn't there. I waited 5 minutes before I went to the door but it was locked so I waited a few more minutes before calling my friend Chris who is the only person I've met who works with Joe. I haven't mentioned her on here in awhile because I hadn't seen her since August when we went to that writers group that one night! She has been going through a lot. Her son who was born in February was really colicky for his first three months and since then has had one illness after another. He also struggles with asthma, bad allergies, and constant eczema. She said he's been healthy about 3 days in the past 4 months. He was going to have tubes put in his ears because of ear infections but they think he has Pneumonia right now so they have to wait until he recovers. Earlier in the fall he had Meningitis which was very scary and he's also had stomach issues. He wakes up about 6 times a night because he almost always has a fever or is in pain. She is planning to take him out of daycare (where he's been going since July) and instead hire a nanny to see if he'll be healthier not around so many children. She said she hasn't had time to do anything fun or for herself since August and never even gets on the computer to e-mail or blog anymore, so please pray that things improve for her soon!

Anyway, she said she would give Joe's keys to their boss for me. When I got home I put Logan down and then Joe called soon after and said his boss had given his keys to some other guy and that guy had come to Offut Airforce Base. So Joe was back at his office and all was well.

Meanwhile, I was waiting for our TV to arrive. Instead of being delivered on Monday as planned, they'd called and said they were coming today. I was worried it was going to wake up Logan, but at 1 pm I happened to notice the truck before my dogs (amazing) and so I put Bella & Cosmo outside and then opened the garage door so the man just put our TV in there and Logan slept 3 hrs.

I'll end with a funny story from Sunday night: We hadn't been able to find our remote control since our snow day last Wednesday. Joe and I had looked EVERYWHERE and were getting really frustrated. Then I said, "Logan, do you know where our remote is?" He ran to the couch and started pointing behind it. But we'd already looked behind there several times, as well as taken all of the cushions out and hadn't seen anything! So this time I decided to actually move the couch so that I could walk behind it - and that's where it was!!! I couldn't believe it - five days after I'd last had it Logan remembered (because he must have been the one to hide it there)!

This is my first "Not Me Monday" by MckMama so I'm only participating with one sentence: I am NOT turning 30 exactly a week from today. Not me. I'm not old. No way.

Last Wednesday was a snow day as expected! We got a foot (12 inches) total of snow (in Iowa at my parents' place was 16 inches) so Joe worked from home and Logan played outside. . .for about 5 minutes, haha. It was bitter cold. But he seemed to like it. . .here is a pic of him playing in the snow last year at 8 months old compared to this year at 19.5 months:

And last year's snowsuit reminiscent of A Christmas Story, LOL, compared with this year's:So Logan went to Babysitter's for his final mornings Thursday & Friday. He always gets a big grin on his face and runs to the door when I ask him if he wants to go to her house. In January she is getting her first girl (a six month old) since Logan started going there last March (not counting the summer older girls) and then a newborn girl in April so it won't be testosterone-city anymore, LOL. (My friend Lisa K who I met through Stacy who I mentioned in my post Hello! that had considered my sitter since she is having a baby boy in February decided to go with one on her street due to convenience. By the way, she has been reading my blog since October, thanks Lisa!)

The other day Logan picked up a flashlight and started making gun sounds with it. I was like, OMG you must have picked that up at Babysitter's house from the other 7 boys! I remember when I was pregnant I was like no way is my son ever playing with guns. I can't remember who it was but some mother I know laughed and said, "You'll see. . .you won't be able to control that, it's a boy thing."

Despite me having a father who had guns at his house because he worked for law enforcement, as well as he and my brother did a small amount of hunting, I will never be comfortable with guns. Too many stories haunted me when I was a little girl of kids finding real guns and accidentally shooting themselves or each other. So I made a rule that when I became a parent I was never going to buy toy guns or allow my children to pretend they were playing with one.

Humph.

Okay, I still don't like it, but as I watched Logan run around the house pretending to shoot things (he even made a gun shape with his finger and was going "pow pow pow"), I realized that whoever said those words to me when I was pregnant was right. There is something that is coming from within him, the same thing that has drawn him towards trucks and balls. . .so I can't exactly forbid him unless I want to make that desire turn into major temptation!

I still don't plan to actually buy him guns myself, but I have no doubt he'll be playing with them at his friends' houses and pretty soon he'll be old enough to learn the dangers and hopefully will lose interest since my husband did at some point when he was a little boy and could care less about guns now. But my grandma pointed out that's what men were originally for, LOL - they were hunters, they had to win wars, etc. It is definitely pretty funny and entertaining, I was totally not expecting it already at this age!The other day he was walking around with Joe's golf balls and so I said, "Are you going to play golf when you get older?" Logan said, "Football!" How funny!!! He also likes to pretend he's walking around like an old man - he tries to be funny every other minute, he must be naturally light-hearted and take after any of the many funny men in his family (for example, Joe has a witty sense of humor and on both sides of my family my dad or my maternal uncle and grandfather were/are known for their major humor and clowning around with everyone). I wish he could have his laugh forever, it's the classic baby laugh - is there any better sound in the world? I think not!

Usually this time of year Joe would have an office Christmas party, but his job decided not to do them anymore. We've never been to his new place of employment's party because the first year (2007) we were out of town and then last year (2008) we would have had to hire a babysitter and we weren't ready yet. I guess each year they've gotten worse and worse until last year the building that hosted it as well as the caterers said they'd never worked a worse party in all of their years!!! So that's too bad, I always liked them at the place Joe used to work - we went in 2004, 2005, and 2006.

Over the weekend I made cookies (I made them for the first time this Christmas season the previous weekend) - these were for a couple of Joe's friends from work who came over on Saturday to move our entertainment center and TV upstairs since, as I said in my last two posts, our new TV is being delivered today! My friend Brooke and her daughter Kaelyn are also coming over for "Stay At Home Mom Day!"

Yesterday (Sunday) Joe, Logan, and I went out to eat at Roja Mexican Grill - where I plan to go for my birthday dinner since that's where we went last year due to my previous annual holiday restaurant (Macaroni's Italian Bar & Grill) no longer being in Omaha. We've only been to Roja once since my birthday because it's not near where we live but it's the best Mexican restaurant in Omaha as far as I'm concerned (locally it's rated #2), especially since the place I blogged about a few times (Margarita's which had been in the running for my fav) wasn't good the last couple of times.

Logan has been great since the whole TG experience, however, no sooner did I write my post last Tuesday night about how his week of waking up for the first time in the night since he was 9 months old had ended the previous week - he woke up screaming in the night from a nightmare :( As I've written here before, he's had night terrors off & on since he was born (which means he cries in his sleep due to his brain developing - I wrote about this most recently in my post Poor Pup), but generally he has only awoke from them (making them nightmares) when his nap is over or it's morning. This was only the second time he's ever woken up in the middle of the night due to one, and the first for not being able to put him back in his crib. It was midnight and he kept falling asleep on me in the recliner, but as soon as I'd put him back down he'd scream. It was so obvious he was scared of something and so I brought him to our bed and he slept the rest of the night there for the very first time (as I said in my post last Tuesday our other 5 co-sleeps in his life have happened at other peoples' houses).

But, on Fri night he was crying as we were trying to get him to go to sleep in his crib (which also had been a one-time thing in his life when he was sick over TG), so I turned on the light and his skin had totally broken out in eczema again! I was sooooo disappointed. For anyone who read my posts over the summer then you know he first had eczema for a six week period when he caught fifth's disease. Even though his doctor gave him a sample of the prescription cream that takes care of it temporarily, 99% of the cases return (and not necessarily from the same thing that first caused it). This was not comforting to me at all, but since Logan went all of Aug, Sept, Oct, and Nov with perfect skin again then I was really hopeful maybe it was a one-time thing (some kids have it every month).

Nope. Over the summer it had just been on his upper back (the shoulder area). This time it is splotches all over his entire body. We still have a little of the sample cream left but it's not something I actually want to get a prescription for because long term use may be dangerous (which is what monthly use would be considered). Thankfully, Locoid (the brand that Logan's pediatrician gave us) is the safest eczema cream. It's considered a low-potent steroid cream, whereas the controversy is with mid to high-potent topical steroid creams because long term studies show hypertension, stretch marks and spider veins, infection, skin rashes and irritation, skin thinning, and formation of dilated blood vessels. Some opinions also suggest immunosuppressive symptoms that will lead to bacterial infections if not supported with antibiotics. Also, the steroids can get absorbed into the blood stream and suppress the normal steroid production in the body. This can lead to lots of complications, including bone fractures.

However, every website I researched agreed that the cream does work. Indeed, Logan's eczema went away completely just two days after I first applied it in the summer (you can see pics in my post titled Our Weekend). But why can't there be something that makes it go away PERMANENTLY???

30% of infants/toddlers have eczema. I wrote a little about it in my post titled, Everything -- like how it really didn't even exist until the late 1940's! After researching eczema, I was left feeling so confused because I don't understand why it's becoming more and more widespread each year and yet nobody can come up with any reason why or how to cure it. Many infants outgrow it by their second birthday, but others have it until puberty, and some even as adults! Last year at this time Logan's doctors remarked that his skin was one of the best they'd seen, especially without ever putting any lotion on him (I never did until June, when he got eczema the first time). Now it looks awful. Eczema is a dry, thickened or scaly rash that is often itchy. It is not contagious and can be caused by: upper respiratory infections or colds or other virus', stress, allergies or asthma, or flare-ups in response to certain conditions. For example, winter is the most common time of year. This is not hard to understand - even I need lotion in the winter due to dry, itchy skin, but I never need to use it any other time of year.

So all I can do are the following 3 things every day from here on out to try and keep Logan's outbreaks to a minimum and hopefully his will be one of the cases that we never see again after the age of two! (You can read more on Dr. Sears' site here)

1) Moisturize. Moisturize. Moisturize. I admit that aside from those 6 weeks during the summer, lotion has not been in our routine. That changed on Saturday! I went to website after website, message board after message board, and there seemed to be no comparison: Aveeno is the best brand. We've always used Burt's Bee's but just because it's organic doesn't meant it's the best for Logan. It always seems to make his eczema worse (and most other lotions probably will, too) so we are now using Aveeno and I am already seeing and feeling a difference!!!! His skin feels like a baby's for the first time in 7 months - it's so soft and smooth. It is recommended to use 2-4 times a day, and always after a bath, so I hope that over time it will make the eczema go away and stay away forever. (Scented lotions or perfumes should never be used on infants or children.)

2) Avoid skin irritants. I mentioned over the summer that we already use organic detergent (I've rotated between 4 and never saw any change in his skin so I don't think that is causing it) as well as Burt's Bees body soap. However, Aveeno is said to be the best body soap for eczema as well (Johnson & Johnson is the worst), so we started using that on Saturday, too, to see if it makes a difference. Cetaphil is a cleanser that is also soap-free and good for eczema. Never have a baby wear clothes without washing them (we never have) and 100% cotton is best. I was stunned to realize that all of his winter pajamas are 100% polyester!!! This could be playing a role to why it has come back this winter - every single night he is wearing material that can be abrasive/irritating to anyone's skin, combined with the dry weather and his recent Thanksgiving virus (thankfully all but one shirt and pants from his daily clothes are 100% cotton). It is also recommended to get a humidifier which I have contemplated before but never have bought.

3) Avoid Allergy-Triggers. The six most common foods are: milk, egg, soy, peanuts, fish and wheat. Eliminate all 6 foods for 2 to 3 weeks. If you see dramatic improvement, then re-introduce each food one at a time to determine which is causing the allergy. Environmental allergies include dust, mold, pets, and seasonal outdoor allergies such as pollens. These environmental allergies are more likely to cause nasal allergies and asthma rather than eczema, though. (I don't think these are the case with Logan.) He has never liked eggs, we've never given him soy or peanuts, and he's only had fish 2-3 times in his life. I guess it is possible that it could be milk or wheat, however he has tried goat's milk before but that did not seem to make a difference (in fact, his eczema both times came a couple of weeks after drinking goat's milk at my parents' house - he always has goat's milk at their place). Both milk and wheat became part of his diet at 12.5 months old and his fifth's disease came at 14 months old so I am not ruling those out, however he has never shown any other signs of allergies and continued to have wheat and milk in Aug, Sept, Oct, and Nov without any eczema. So, I'm still just as confused about eczema as I was over the summer. My guess is that it's global warming or whatever is the definition of our environment being different than it was 70 years ago. Maybe skin keeps getting more sensitive and issues are showing up through the skin because of our air that we can't see (like how they say the sun is more damaging to everyone nowadays because of the ozone layer or something like that).

Anyway, I think he realized after his restless Thanksgiving week, then the night he had his nightmare, and then the night with eczema -- he has decided he prefers the company of mama and dadda to being alone. Because Saturday he refused to take his nap all day! I'm not sure there's ever been a day in his life that he didn't take at least an hour nap!!! Despite that, Saturday night was really hard getting him to go to bed (although he slept until after 8 am on Sunday). Since he's generally never cried in his life when we put him to bed, we kept going and getting him to try again later. We did every bit of soothing we knew how to do, but it wasn't working because his entire life he's always been able to soothe himself (without crying). So, we decided to do "the five minute rule" where if his crying has gotten worse after five minutes then we go in, but if not then we hope he's about to fall asleep! I think it took him 10 minutes but he did fall asleep.

Like I said on Tuesday, even though I'm not a fan of the cry it out method for those under a year, 19.5 months when they do understand what's going on is sometimes necessary. It's still hard at this age to pick out the logical reasons, though. At least after the age of 2 I'm hoping he'll be able to communicate "I don't feel well" or "I had a bad dream" and then I can be confident to when he needs comforted. Unfortunately, getting him to nap on Sunday was hard, too - 3 pm. I don't know why the other days last week were easy - he even took 4 hour naps each day! He also kept laughing every time I'd wave goodbye at the door. (I must look humorous or something to him from his angle/view because he did the same chuckle every time!)

It could be he's going into a new phase :( Not only because he's always taken his nap at noon or earlier but now he prefers 1 pm or later (despite still going to bed at 8 pm, although thankfully he doesn't get up before 7 am anymore), but I remember that a friend from elementary school who now lives in Florida (so I haven't seen her in 11 years) e-mailed me over the summer because her son was 20 months old at the time and she wondered if I had any advice because he'd always been a good sleeper like Logan, however now he was waking up in the night and crying before naps and bed time. She was trying everything, however nothing seemed to be working. I was bummed that I wasn't able to help her like I'd hoped - but it was because there was hardly any info "out there" about this subject. It's all geared towards infants. I guess people think that once our kids get to be toddlers we should just know what to do? :p Well thankfully things did improve for her - and I locked away the reason in my head in case it happened to me. Now my son is about 20 months old so I am really wondering. . .is this just another weaning thing? Because my friend decided to move her son to a "big boy bed." She wondered if he felt too caged/confined in his crib. Once they did that, he stopped fighting with them!

I was hoping to wait until Logan turned 2 before we even started designing his new room, buying him his new bed, etc. so then he'd be 25/26 months before he'd sleep in there every night. Because, I just don't understand how this age group actually STAYS in a bed that's not a crib???? Joe and I just can't imagine Logan having the freedom to get up and yet choosing to stay in his bed. Plus, I admit, it seems scary to me. Right now I don't have to worry about him getting into anything dangerous while I'm sleeping - or what if he suddenly learns to open his door. . .I've heard of toddlers ending up down the street at night! (Okay so that one doesn't seem likely at this point - but still.)

So instead, first we are going to try a night light. His crying sounds "scared" and so maybe as he's getting older he's decided that the dark is scary. (I had a night light until high school!) I've tried to put balls in his crib but they no longer seem like a comfort object for him like they were in October/November. I'm also going to buy a music box because I used to turn that on for him a few times a week throughout his life and he really liked that, but it broke a couple of months ago. Last night (Sunday night) he went down without any noise/tears so hopefully if he doesn't get sick again for awhile, doesn't have another nightmare, and now that I'm following the rules for eczema, he will go back to being confident at night like he is during his day-to-day life!

In my last post I mentioned that my husband and I just purchased a Sony LCD Television. This was not something that we decided on overnight. We browsed stores in person and online all year before we decided on which one to buy and where.

A great place to find electronics is Become.com. Whether you're looking for a Sony Flat Panel like we were or a Mini Laptop, Nikon D90, iPod Nano 16GB, Portable TV, Garmin Nuvi or any other electronic you can think of - this website is the perfect place where you bring product shopping and research together!

Of course they also have other categories aside from electronics, so check out their website this holiday season and you will most definitely find a great gift for someone in your life!

My husband and I are sooo excited - we are getting our very first flat screen TV! It should arrive on Monday. It's part of our Christmas gift to each other: an LCD 52 inch television. So this means that we are also finally getting a DVR!  I think this may be one our favorite gifts ever :)

*Since this is so long it will be all that I post for this week! Feel free to come back when you have time, or read a little each day -- this is two weeks worth of posts in one. Now that my computer's fixed I can return to writing shorter posts again after this one!

Two months ago I stopped doing updates, but since my computer was broken I am making an exception today. . .

As I wrote in Have A Happy Thanksgiving, my friend Sarah visited from Seattle Nov. 21-25th. I left off blogging with Monday the 23rd. . .that day we went shopping, she is a fan of Sephora, too (her roommate has bought so much stuff from there she is a VIP member and they recently went to a Sephora party, how fun!) so I bought some cleanser and moisturizer since all I'd bought until then was their awesome Cover Fx foundation set. No more convenience store skincare for me (I've always used either Neutrogena or Clearasil), now that I'm turning 30 in TWO weeks I am only buying ALL of my products from Sephora from now on!

That afternoon was when Cosmo had his stitches removed. He healed perfectly, we couldn't ask for his cancer situation to be any better. Right now he's the same Cosmo I've always known.

That evening Sarah and I went to the movie theater (which has always been one of my fav things in life to do, but even more so now that I don't get to go very often as a mom to a toddler). We saw Couples Retreat which was really funny. For supper we had met Joe at 370 Grill.

On Tuesday the 24th Sarah suggested we get facials so we went to the salon & spa where one of my friends, Stacy, works as a hair stylist (the #1 spa in Omaha). This was my first time there but not my last! I was so impressed with how super friendly everyone was and I LOVED my esthetician. I'd never gotten a facial before; the esthetician recommends everyone get facials once a season (4 times a year) and she also does waxing. Sarah has an esthetician in Seattle and has everything waxed which my lady of course wants me to come to her regularly for as well (she gave me a free brow wax - the only time I've ever had my eyebrows waxed was when I was 16 so that I could start plucking. But she told me we should never pluck our own eyebrows, she thinks I need a new brow design which I agree, so as incredibly hard as it's been the past two weeks I have been letting them grow out so that I can go back and have her re-design them)!

The esthetician was so carefree. . .she's been doing it for 35 years and used to work in L.A. on models and actresses. So, since I've been pampering myself for the past year-and-three-months by getting massages every two weeks (well sort of, I last went to my massage therapist the week before TG and will be going to her again this Thursday), why not add an esthetician? :p For six years I got my hair high lighted or colored every six weeks but haven't been to the salon since this past July because I'm giving my hair a break. I also tanned five summers ('03, '04, '05, '06, '08) but now I'm too worried about skin cancer. So, next up is to try a pedicure! (I've gotten manicures 7 times in my life, 5 natural and 2 acrylic, but have never been impressed so I just do my own nails.)

Stacy has Monday & Tuesdays off so we didn't get to see her, but we are considering going back for my birthday and doing the full spa package: A heavenly day including an aromatherapy steam and shower, a full body massage, facial, spa lunch, pedicure, manicure, hot paraffin hand or foot treatment, hairstyle and makeup application. 6 hours. Obviously it's expensive, but it'd be a once in a lifetime experience and what better way to celebrate the big 3-0?! I am so excited that Sarah is going to be back AGAIN for Christmas. Since moving to Seattle in 2004, she's only made it back once a year and never for the holidays. But this year she got a new job and was able to come back three times! Her parents live in Ottumwa, IA so it works well for her to fly to Omaha (cheaper than Des Moines, Iowa) and then Joe & I can visit our families in Des Moines where she meets her parents who take her the rest of the way to their place. That's what we did on Wednesday, November 25th.

When we arrived to Joe's mom's house, Logan was napping (it was 2:30 pm). He had spent Sat thru Sun at my mom and stepdad's, and then Sun thru Wed at Joe's mom's. Unfortunately this was the first time that his visit didn't go flawless. Ever since his first time away from us in March at 10.5 months old, he has been perfect for his grandparents. Never fussing, eating & sleeping well (and for longer than at home), and not showing any signs that he missed Joe & me. But this time (at 19.5 months) he woke up in the night once at my mom's and once at Joe's mom's. There had only been one other day since Logan turned 9 months old in January that he has woken up in the night - but that was only for 90 seconds so all I'd had to do was pick him up, bounce him a couple of times, and then put him back in his crib. But this time all grandparents had to hold him so that he would sleep the rest of the night!

Unfortunately, on the day we picked him up at Sandi's, a couple of hours after he woke up from his nap I noticed that his cheeks turned bright red. He'd been playing with the five year old girl Sandi babysits so I thought maybe he was just hot (here is a picture of Logan playing with the little girl, Roxanna - she picked him up and put him on the couch and he just sat there like a rag doll, haha).However, when I felt him he was burning. Never in his 19.5 months had he had a fever (they say anything 100.5 + is considered a fever and anything 105 + is required doctor/ER) so I knew even before I took his temperature that he had one. It was 102.5. He was acting fine (and had been happy for the grandparents' that week), but it was scary since it was our first experience with a fever. I put cold washcloths on his forehead and was glad it went down to 99.5.

However, then he wouldn't go to sleep in his crib. Once again, it was a first for his 19.5 months. Never have we had any trouble (even as a newborn) getting him to sleep in his crib. He's always loved going to bed - he usually requests it, never has required anything from us to relax him or get him ready, and never cries when we put him down and leave the room. Obviously I like that much better to the screaming he kept doing that night! After numerous attempts to no avail, we put him in bed with Joe & me and thankfully he did sleep (rare, as he's only co-slept with us 3 or 4 times in his life - all at someone else's house - because our presence usually makes him MORE awake). Joe and I both didn't sleep very well though because of Logan being between us, but Logan slept until 8:30 am (what he'd been doing for a couple of weeks) so we had great quantity of sleep even if it wasn't great quality.

On Thursday the 26th he seemed back to normal so we drove to my mom & stepdad's for Thanksgiving lunch. My stepgrandparents, step aunt & uncle, two cousins, and maternal grandmother and aunt were there. Logan had hardly eaten anything all day so I was disappointed that he didn't eat any of the TG food but figured it was probably due to his recent picky phase. He was super tired so we put him down for a late nap and when he woke up, 4 hrs later, his cheeks were bright red again.

It was time to go over to my dad & stepmom's lake house for Thanksgiving supper so we drove the poor little guy over there (my stepsister was visiting with her husband and three kids; I hadn't seen her since my wedding 6.5 years ago so that was nice. She lives in Michigan where my other two stepsiblings, Matt & Mike, also live with their families). That's where we noticed Logan was burning up again. He had some yogurt but still not much else so I knew then it was because he was sick. The whole day he'd been a little sweetheart and was showing no other sign of being sick, but when we took his temp again it was 103! He fell asleep in the car on the way back to my mom & stepdad's where we were able to place him in his crib where he slept thru the night.

On Friday the 27th he was coughing and still had the 103 degree fever, so I called my old pediatrician's office that I went to from birth until 8 years old (he's still in practice!) because I wanted a doctor to check him out. At first they were going to have him come in, but then called back and said just give him Tylenol every 4 hrs and if the fever wasn't gone in 4-5 days then take him in. They said it could be his 2-year-molars already, even though his last 3 teeth haven't come in yet (there's been nothing since June when he was 14 months old despite showing signs for two months).

We'd already given him one dose of Tylenol so we continued, but called Logan's regular pediatrician in Omaha just to get a second opinion. They were closed but a registered nurse called me back and said the same thing. The Tylenol did help - his temp kept going down, but as soon as it wore off his temp would rise again.

Joe went back to his mom's house that afternoon because his sister and her husband and one of their daughters were there. . .meanwhile, I was at my parents' house with Logan who was not wanting to take a nap. It was hard to see him act like a different child. Our plan was to take him to the doc as soon as we returned to Omaha.

So Sarah met us back over at my mom and stepdad's on Saturday the 28th and we left around 10:30 am. Logan didn't nap in the car (it took us forever to get him to go down that day, too - I think it was 4 pm for just an hour, whereas usually his naps are 2-3 hrs around noon) but when we got home he was acting like he'd been normal all week!!! So we stopped giving him Tylenol that afternoon and were so relieved that his temp never went back up! It was like he just wanted to come home, poor guy.

Here are two pics of him last year - his first Thanksgiving - we went to Colorado to visit Joe's sister's family (the other two babies are Joe's nephews daughters - that reminds me: the one on the left is going to have a brother or sister in July! Joe's oldest nephew just returned from Iraq in October so they didn't waste any time for baby #2, haha! The girl on the right has had a brother for already three months!) and Logan felt snow for the first time:I've always been very gradual with him in all situations because I think that's the best way to avoid stress and trauma for kids. So each trip he takes is a little longer than the last. This was the longest he'd been away from Joe & me (101 hrs opposed to 96 a couple of times) but I don't think it was that rather it was the longest time away from home of his life (he was in Iowa for a full week, whereas even our Colorado trip last Thanksgiving wasn't for that long). I've never reached his "max point" in any area of his life before - but I did with this. So it's a good thing we haven't taken a real vacation yet with him because I don't think he's ready. Maybe he will be after this experience, but we won't test it until the summer when we plan to visit my dad & stepmom's new summer home on Lake Michigan.

So, since he seemed better, Sarah and I went to see another movie! If you haven't seen The Blind Side yet, I highly recommend you do!!! It was sooooo good. I can't wait to buy it on DVD. . .or even go to the theater again so Joe can see it. What an awesome true story!

It was kind of creepy on our drive home, though - I pulled into my driveway and a car followed me! Their lights were on because it was dark and so when Sarah and I got out of my car we looked at the other car but couldn't see anyone (except that it was a convertible). They just sat there in my driveway while we were in our garage. I kind of looked at them like, hello? But nobody got out or anything. So Sarah pressed the garage button to close and they left. Weird.

We spent the rest of the night having girl talk. . .but unfortunately, Logan wasn't back to normal with his sleep so he was up for 90 seconds in the night and then wanted up for good at 5 am! Joe had taken Sarah to the airport at 3 am on Sunday the 29th so he was sleeping. At 5:30 Logan was ready to go back down; however, just as I was falling back asleep he woke up again! The first time he hadn't eaten, but this time he did. So I put him down again at 6:30 and he fell asleep. . .but woke up again a few minutes later - I think whatever had been making him cough off and on was in his chest and making it hard to breathe. :( He never had a runny nose so the congestion had nowhere to go.

I took him to the bathroom, closed the door, and turned the shower on hot without the fan. Pretty soon the room began to get steamy. . .I've heard/read that helps babies/toddlers when they have phlegm in their chest. I'm not sure it did anything. . .he only coughed a couple of times but he didn't mind, so I had nothing to lose. When I became unbearable, we left.

By then it was after 7 am and he seemed ready for bed again - this time he slept until 10 am. Ever since then, the past nine days his sleep has been back to normal (taking his usual naps, going to bed/waking up at his regular time, and sleeping full nights without crying -- although every now and then he's still having a nightmare as I mentioned in my post Poor Pup, where he cries a "different type of cry" in his sleep but doesn't wake up).

Except, that even though his fever, sleep, and his cough were normal by Sunday - he had an attitude going during the day until Wednesday! For example, he was throwing temper tantrums because he didn't like THE WAY I WAS SITTING ON THE COUCH! Worst of all, he began hitting the dogs!!! But, instead of worry that he was turning into a sociopath, I remembered from back when I used to watch Dr. Phil : kids act out because they can't communicate. It was very clear to me this was the case when I told him "no" to something and he walked over to me from across the room just to hit me. I hugged him and said, "I love you and we don't hit those we love."

It helped to remind myself that we are nearing age two when, just like how Logan developed physically & intellectually in the womb, as an infant, and now as a toddler. . .there's just no avoiding the "terrible twos" because they HAVE to happen developmentally. . .it's not his fault, he has no choice in the matter, it's just like crawling, walking, talking - his body and brain do it for him.

It was interesting to see this clearly that Monday or Tuesday when he was really getting upset at a lot of little/minor things, I kept walking away from him and after a couple of minutes each time he'd stop his temper tantrum and run to me and hug me. It was like he was apologizing because he knew he was being difficult and didn't want to be - but couldn't help it! But I do admit I yelled at him once because he kept smiling at me as he was doing bad things! I've only yelled at him 4 other times in his life because I don't like doing it (as you can see from my profile I'm a "soft mom" and proud of it, no spanking for me, either) but those other times he had cried - this time he laughed and kept disobeying. So Joe got mad at me and told me I can talk to him like that but never to Logan again. Actually he's wrong, I mustn't talk to either of them like that again.

Anyway, so I knew the traveling week had been too much for him (especially since he was also really clingy and wanting to be held a lot, whereas that has never been his style, either, although I am appreciating that he is still super affectionate every day!) and so I canceled his day at Babysitter's on Tuesday, December 1st so that I could spend every second comforting him until he was secure again. It worked. Wednesday, December 2nd he had a temper-tantrum-free day and has been calm, happy, and obeying since. In fact he's been better than ever! Whew. I'm sure I'm not the only mother who gets glimpses from time to time of how awful their kid could be if a certain behavior was constant!

There was even one time when I had to just let him cry himself to sleep because he was going spastic with us. If you read my posts a year ago then you know I'm not a cry-it-out-method mother. I can count on one hand how many times in Logan's 19.5 months he has cried himself to sleep (and those times were between 5-10 minutes). Even though my posts were about "not in the first year" - 19 months is more acceptable than 19 weeks - it still is something I will only do if there is no other option. So I'm glad I have my Logan back! Here he was today being silly:Due to his crazy week, we never got around to going to his doctor's office for the preservative-free H1N1 vaccine. Now I feel we might as well just stick it out, since we're halfway done with flu season. I'm hoping that flu is getting extinct now.

Logan returned to Babysitter's on Thursday, December 3rd (just for the morning - we're still waiting until December 16th to change to one full day a week) and I spent every other hour that week Christmas shopping. Logan is an excellent shopper, so as long as we went from store to store, he was happy - which meant I was productive! Usually it takes me several stressful weeks to complete my Christmas shopping, but this year I did it in one fun week by Sunday, December 6th (and my cards went out in the mail last Thursday the 3rd). I am not much of a shopper the rest of the year, so during Christmastime I tend to find all kinds of things for myself, too. . .this year I bought myself some Uggs which I LOVE LOVE LOVE. I have been wearing high-heeled boots since my freshman year of college - every day except in the summer! But, since having Logan I don't care that I'm only 5'2.5," I just want to be comfortable. So finally now I am!On Friday, December 4th when Joe got off work we went to Romeo's for Mexican food & pizza. It was "okay." We've only eaten there one other time (when we moved here in 2003) so now I know why we didn't go again, although there are worse places, we probably won't go again for awhile.

I rented three Christmas DVDs at Blockbuster on our way home and enjoyed watching them over the weekend (my fav was Christmas With The Kranks) as I drank hot chocolate and we turned on our fireplace for the first time this winter. :)

We had put up our Christmas decorations and tree on November 29th (the day after we got home from our TG trip) as we listened and sang to Christmas music. Here are a few pics of putting up a couple of the decorations:It was so much fun. Logan LOVES the lights!!! He's done really well with all of the decorations. I told him when I put them out not to touch and he hasn't. Much easier than last year when he started crawling and there was no stopping him!

Unfortunately, Joe hasn't gotten around to putting any outside on our house this year. I bought two candy canes that light up, and we have two trees that are lighted in two windows, but that might be it for the outside this year. :(

On Saturday (December 5th) we went to the mall and Logan sat on Santa's lap. You can see his hilarious pic in my previous post, Santa 8 Mos Vs 19.5 Mos. I had been telling him all week that he was going to meet Santa (and showing him last year's pic and Santa decor we had around the house) but I had a feeling he wasn't going to like it. Everything went well until it was his turn. He had happily watched all of the other kids and Santa from afar - but when the girl in front of him went he put his head on Joe's shoulder and looked at us like, "oh wow I realize what's about to happen, uh no thanks."

Sunday (December 6th) was my paternal grandmother's birthday - she turned 96!!!

Otherwise, Joe just spent the weekend fixing our computer. Thankfully, he backed up everything (my entire life is on here) and we still had our laptop, but the laptop is his, the desktop is mine. Not only do I not have anything on the laptop but it's just not comfortable for me to work on. I can't be on ANY laptop for very long before I get a headache, whereas our desktop I used to spend 8 hrs writing on before Logan was born and had no problem. We've had it for 4 years-4 months so I wasn't expecting it to break - the computer we had before was Joe's when he went to college and still worked well, we just decided to upgrade after 7 years (and gave it to my aunt who is still using it now at 11 years old). Same thing with my old one - I got it in 1998, the year I graduated high school, and used it until 2005. Now it sits in our basement but could still work, it's just out of date so it got frustrating to use. We bought the laptop in 2009 so if the desktop broke we wouldn't be replacing it for quite awhile so I'm so glad Joe was able to fix it! But I can't use Internet Explorer anymore so I've had to get on board with Mozilla Firefox. I never argued with any of the reasons why it's supposedly better, it was just my aesthetic preference when viewing webpages such as my blog. But since most people use Firefox I guess I might as well see my blog like everyone else! I'm adjusting better than I thought. . .I guess if it means saving my computer then I can like it!Needless to say, I spent yesterday (Monday, December 7) getting caught up on everyone's blogs. We also had our second snowfall of the year. This time it is appropriate (whereas in October it was upsetting) and since I'm done Christmas shopping and don't have to drive in it, I very much enjoyed today (Tuesday, December 8) feeling cozy in my house as I watched the snowflakes through the window. :) I decided not to take Logan to Babysitter's this morning which was a good idea because Joe's office told them to go home early because the roads were getting back so he left work at 1:30. So Logan will either go Wed & Thur mornings this week or Thurs & Fri for his final mornings, depending on how the weather is tomorrow (it's still snowing and not expected to stop all night, I think we have about 10 inches so far). Here Logan was watching Joe use the snowblower this afternoon:Now that I'm caught up I can start recording Logan's memorable moments again. For those from the past couple of weeks: at my parents' house he can open their doors (they have the handles instead of the knobs which we have at our house; he's probably been able to do it for a couple of months I just haven't been there to see!) and he can reach all of our counters now which means he can pull everything off (before he could stand on his tip toes and reach his arm up to pull the things closest to the edge but not see what was there. Now he can see everything and it's no big deal to him to just take it all off)!

The day after Thanksgiving he called my stepdad "Grandpa" which was a sweet moment! He now says "Grandma" whenever Joe's mom calls on the phone, as well as when my mom & stepdad sent pictures this week (they got some professionally taken with him for their Christmas card). He says about 75 words on his own regularly now, including his name. His favorite words are "ball" and "football" - he literally says them every few minutes.

It was funny that night when Joe & I co-slept with him he was talking in his sleep. He'd say "uh-oh" and "baby" repeatedly, we had to try really hard not to laugh! A couple of times I peeked through my eyes to see that he'd sat up and pointed to Bella and Cosmo who were also sleeping in the bed at Joe's mom's house and he happily said "Bella! Cosmo!"

From now on I'm only going to mention his sentences now. . .this week he started saying, "I love you" which has to be the best sentence ever!!!!

Something else cute -- he wants to dip his food now in sauces, cheese, ketcup, etc. This started when he saw Joe & me dip our chips in salsa a month ago. Now he HAS to do the same thing. . .it's funny to watch a 19.5 month old dip.

One day I was talking to Joe as I was making supper and opened the refrigerator, got something out, closed the fridge and returned to cooking. Joe started laughing and was like, "Did you just see what Logan did?" I knew Logan was hanging around me but I had no idea that while I was getting something off a top shelf, apparently he'd opened the cheese drawer down below, took one of those American cheese slices out, and was unwrapping it to eat! The sly little thing!Good news is that his picky food phase has improved A LOT!!!! I don't think he'll ever go back to just eating anything and everything like he did during his first 18 months, but now he is not resisting or complaining about food except vegetables. He's even eating meat every single day as if it's always been his favorite - when his entire life that's been the ONLY thing he wouldn't eat! (Although it has to have spices or sauce on it. Until now I've never put any type of seasoning or extra flavor to his food but that's not something that is realistic for life so I figured it was fine to start now, except I don't on vegetables because Joe & I eat them plain.)

I've found that he eats vegetables as long as I mix them with other things. At first I was worried because he went from eating vegetables 3-4 times a day to none, but now he's eating them once a day so I can live with that rather than none. Especially since (despite pediatricians recommending 3 meals + 2 snacks a day) he has eaten every two hours for the majority of his life, but now is only eating three times a day. He's also only drinking about 12 oz of milk a day when ever since he turned a year old he's been drinking 16-20 oz. So once we got over the hardest couple of weeks when he was hardly eating at all (he didn't lose any weight, he's 25.5 lbs, probably because he's eating more in his three sittings than he used to), it's now the easiest time I've ever had with him food-wise because our life actually doesn't revolve around eating for the first time in his 19.5 months! It must be because of what I'd heard about his age group not needing as much anymore. Thank goodness because that was exhausting!

The only thing is he's always thought that he needs to finish his plate for some reason. So even when I can tell he's full he still never acts like he is. Today he had his first hot pot pie which brought back memories from my childhood (they were one of my favs).

In conclusion, he is obsessed with counting. I've written here before that a month and a half ago he started pretending to count to three despite Joe & I not really teaching him. Then a couple of weeks ago he was literally counting things correctly and saying "one two three." Now he's able to count to four and he spends hours organizing his toys and counting them (after the number four he says inaudiable numbers), as well as the stairs and anything else he can see. He's still a quiet guy (he's a total ham/comedian/loves making people laugh, as you can see from this photo I took at my parents' house over TG, but I can tell is not going to be an outgoing/life-of-the-party type, he's starting to show a little shyness although not really with kids - just adults) --so no surprise, I've been able to tell ever since he was a year old when he began showing an interest in mechanical and electrical things that he takes after my husband in the brain/interests department. My husband majored in computer & electrical engineering in college. His favorite subject was math and physics. He's a quiet guy. I was a chatty toddler and hated math. My major was journalism & mass communication. Aside from balls, Logan loves numbers. So it will be interesting to see how this applies to his life as he gets older!