Okay, I gained the motivation to start re-designing my layout again so that I can begin the NEW VERSION of this blog next week (which will be my official return from my blog break - you can read why I took the break and am making the change in my posts Everything and All Caught Up). I'm not done with my new layout yet, so I apologize that it looks a bit unprofessional at the moment, but I'm not going to spend 12 hrs in a row again only to lose everything (you can read what happened in my post Blog Break Continues).

My blog was first launched in July 2008 with the title "Writer Mom." For 5.5 months here was what it looked like:Then in January 2009 I switched the title to "No Time For A Haircut." Here is how my layout looked for the next 5.5 months:Then in June 2009 I decided to eliminate a title completely and just use my URL, with a blogspot background and pictures that you can see on my post, Timeline - First Year With Son!

A month-and-a-half later I replaced the pictures with the collage found now on my page, My Son which I removed after another month-and-a-half.

Stay tuned for next week as I launch the layout and title that I plan to keep forever!

I am excited, Logan's playhouse is going to be arriving on Monday (I wrote about ordering it in this post). I think it will be great for this winter in our basement because we've spent this summer and fall going to a different park nearly every day. He LOVES playground equipment so next summer we will consider a swingset for our backyard. I didn't have one growing up, but a couple of friends in my neighborhood had swing sets that I enjoyed for many years. Tire swings were my favorite. I have fond memories of playing outside at my daycare center and going straight for the tire swing. I also loved the monkey bars. Logan seems to gravitate towards slides and whatever he can climb. Here is a picture of Logan last fall at our park compared with this month at our park:Swingset.com is a great place to go to for safe playground equipment, daycare supplies, swings and swingsets of all types and sizes including tire swings, swing n gliders and playground accessories. I noticed they even have a swing for adults - I think that would be nice for me to sit outside while I watch Logan play, or just chat with Joe on a nice evening.

Just like with his playhouse, I'm going to be as excited for Logan's first swingset as he is. . .since it will be mine (and my husband's) first, too! :)

Christmas is going to be here before we know it so I want to buy Logan's gifts now and that way I can focus on everyone else the next two months! Because, let's face it, kids are the easiest to shop for :) Online stores like Lou Lou's Corner make it especially easy. They have toys and books, accessories, items for house and home, clothes by top brands like appaman, barefoot dreams, and jellycat, among others. They even have a gift idea or occasions section if you aren't sure where to begin.

In June I mentioned that I was interested in getting Logan a wooden toy. I think he would really like this Automoblox - M9 mini sports van in green. They even have a section for dogs, so that way my two maltipoos don't need to feel left out this holiday season. :)

There's free shipping for orders over $65 so check out Lou Lou's Corner!

I'm still on blog break but needed to write this post.

I am saddened by the news that my uncle went into cardiac arrest on Saturday and passed away this evening (Thursday, September 17, 2009). He never woke up this week and didn't have any brain activity.

Dave was such a good man and lived such a good life. The air was sucked out of me when I received the news on Monday afternoon from my cousin. I immediately started crying at the thought of not being able to communicate with him again, to read his Christmas letters (he was the first to ever send me a Christmas letter back in high school and I've since looked forward to receiving his each year), and of course not to see him again in this life.

Very few people are without fault - but Dave never faulted me once and so my view of him, my experience with him, was 100% positive.

Dave was married to my dad's sister until she passed away at the young age of 40 on September 23, 1977 from breast cancer. I was born 27 months later so I never met my aunt Mary K and always had a curiosity about her while I was growing up. She was born on May 18, 1937 and was eleven years older than my dad so he wasn't able to tell me anything about her (she got married the day before her twenty-first birthday and had three children when she was 24, 27, and 32). I kept a picture of her in a frame (posted below) and often wondered what she had been like, who she had been. I really wanted to know her family, but not long after I was born Dave remarried and his family moved all over the country. Meanwhile, my parents separated when I was two years old so I just accepted that I wasn't connected with that part of my family.Dave changed all of that. When I was a junior in high school I began using something called the internet and I had my very first e-mail address. Not a lot of people e-mailed at that time - but Dave did. So he was one of the few people I corresponded with that way. It was so fun to get e-mails. Think back to the very first time you used e-mail - wasn't it incredible to think you could actually be in touch with people who you never would have seen or talked to otherwise?

I always looked forward to reading his letters. I appreciated that someone in my family actually wanted to get to know me. To most, I was still a kid. I had a desire to know all of my family members, but sometimes it seemed I was the only one who felt that way! But he acted as though my life was interesting - that he was interested in knowing me. He wrote long, detailed e-mails and always responded to mine right away. And, he answered all of my questions so I finally began learning things about my family for the very first time!

It became apparent to me that family was the most important thing in his life. It was the reason for life. He was very involved in geneaolgy research and wrote a book that he self-published about his family. (Swim To Me, Mama!) I was very honored that he sent me the chapters to read and give feedback while I was in college, since he knew I was a writer. When I bought a copy of the book in 2004 it made my day to see my name on his acknowledgements page.

When I graduated from high school in 1998, he and his wife Maretta came from out of state to attend. I was so surprised that he came all of that way for my graduation. I was not technically related to him anymore and he hadn't seen me since I was a child, so I had not expected him to come. But he took a roll of film, gave me gifts, and celebrated that milestone with me.

We continued to e-mail regularly while I was in college, too - and he & Maretta attended that graduation in 2002, as well! When I got my first job that summer - which I hated - he gave me a lot of support, which meant a lot. Especially since he had a love of writing (the only other person in my family), he was one of the few people to encourage me to go for my dream as a writer (which I did)!

When I married my husband in 2003, he & Maretta came to our wedding and passed on to us some things we can now pass on to our future generations.

Around this same time I began to correspond with his youngest daughter, my cousin. I'd also had an excellent time with his son and wife the year before when we'd all visited my grandma in Missouri - and they came to my wedding, too. I noticed that I wasn't hearing from my uncle as much but I believe it's because he felt content that he had opened the communication between his children and me. I realized that had been his goal all along -- to know that our family would continue being a family for years to come.

More than any of my other cousins, I have talked more confidentially and personally to Dave's youngest daughter and daughter-in-law (I've quoted my cousin-in-law here several times because she is reader of my blog and I credit her to how I breastfed for nine months, thanks to her help and encouragement). They are relationships that I don't take for granted, since I spent the first twenty-some years of life without them.

Now with tools like Facebook, I was able to chat a couple of times with Dave the past year. But of course when you are faced with death you wonder if there was more you could have said (it may have helped had I not de-activated my account 5 times). He invited me to visit his family in Wisconsin over the years, but it never worked out for me. It's sad that the first time I visit him will be his funeral.

But, I am proud that I told him in the past how grateful I was for him reaching out to me and all of the correspondence we had - especially the regular e-mails back & forth for 6 years. I know that he accomplished a lot and was very fulfilled. If only we could all be so lucky - I hope that is how I feel when my life is over. I saw on Facebook that he spent two weeks this past summer with his grandchildren, doing a different activity every day. How incredibly special. I'm sure those children will treasure that time forever.

He was born on April 15, 1935, so he was 74 years old. (This pic was taken at my wedding 6.5 years ago with one of his grandchildren)

Last month I wrote a post asking if anyone knew of a climbing toy to recommend for my son who turns 17 months tomorrow. (I am convinced that whoever invented the phrase "swinging from the chandliers had a little boy.) This evening I purchased the Neighborhood Fun Center from Step 2 that I know my son will love - especially this winter when we can't get outside! (I plan to put it in our basement)I did most of my browsing using ShopWiki. Traditional shopping sites will only show you stores that have paid for placement, but ShopWiki UK finds every store on the internet! This means you can find anything and everything for sale on the web. More products from more stores means better deals and savings!

This was certainly my case, as I thought I was going to have to pay a fortune for Logan's playhouse - but it didn't turn out to be as expensive as I had feared. For your next gift buying occasion, I recommend ShopWiki UK's gift buying guide. No matter what the season, no matter who the person - you are almost guranteed to find something from browsing Shop Wiki UK's directory.

In my last post I mentioned that my husband & I are going to need to buy a bigger car before we have another child. We'll probably keep mine in addition - but not Joe's. Right now his windows don't roll up and down, there is no adjusting the volume on the radio, he doesn't have one of his side mirrors, and many weird lights go on and off signaling problems that our repair shop says isn't accurate/don't exist. :p

We really like the auto shop where we take our cars, but it took awhile for us to find a place that we trust. Have you heard of RepairPal.com? It's easy, accurate, and free! You can see reviews and ratings of shops all over the US, locations from closest to farthest to you (with the appropriate addresses and phone numbers), and even receive estimates. Not only does the site help you to find the best option for an oil change or tune up, but also complete pages on shops like Seattle Auto Repair and car info such as the Acura TL. There's even an Encyclopedia with helpful hints and tips.

It may sound like we have a clunker but thanks to our great auto repair shop, Joe's car doesn't stand out as one, and has never failed us or let us down in a time of need. Our shop stays on top of things for us so that we've been able to hold out until the last possible second for purchasing a nice SUV or van. With our economy, it has been nice not to have to worry about a big car payment or spending too much on repair services. RepairPal.com takes the mystery out of auto repair!

Something that we need before my husband & I have baby #2: a bigger car. We've been driving around his two door 1997 white Grand Am for 8 years and my 2001 red Ford Focus for 6 years. My car has done better than his as far as "problems" - but although both are still driveable (the picture below shows me - so happy - when I first bought my car the month we got married), they are incredibly tight when we make our trips to Iowa with the two of us, Logan, our two maltipoo dogs, and our luggage! There's just no way we can fit another carseat in the backseat - or even right now take a vacation farther away (which we are planning to do next summer) because I am so cramped when I sit in the backseat with Logan.Toyota has some nice choices that would definitely work for what we're looking for. I'm sure if it was just Joe he'd want a 2010 Mercedes Benz s-class or a BMW! While I could see myself with a 2010 Ford Taurus. I'm not sure what type of vehicle we'll end up getting as our family car next year - a mini van, an SUV, a sedan? Should we get black, blue, silver, or gold? New or used? TheCarConnection.com is a great place for reviews, photos, classifieds, insurance, finance, tips, and news to help anyone decide.

I've mentioned before that I hope Logan takes after Joe in math (my husband has always scored at the genius level) and me in reading. While I excelled in subjects like spelling, language arts, creative writing, journalism, etc. (my major in college), I failed math in third grade. My teacher agreed to let me continue on to the next class if my parents hired a math tutor for me. It worked. By the time I was in fifth grade I was on the honor roll and in high school I even received a 4.0 which meant I got an A in Algebra! I can not tell you what a huge accomplishment that was for me!!!

But, math will never be natural or easy for me. I had to work extremely hard in both high school and the one college math course I was required to take. With that one class in college I met with other students each week and a tutor, but I was a bit boy crazy that year and the tutor was soooo good looking. . .LOL. . .I ended up with a C. Back then (10 years ago) there really wasn't free online math tutoring. Maybe if I'd had the opportunity of online math tutoring I would have done better! (Also my stepdad could have gotten a break, as I went home on the weekends so that he could help me with my homework!)

TutorVista is the leading online tutoring company in the world. They offer an UNLIMITED monthly tutoring package for only $99.99 a month for all subjects, not just online math help. Tutoring is available 24X7 - so as much as you want, whenever you want. They even provide a free demo for first time users to try the service for free.

TutorVista sounds like an excellent source of math help. It is not just for college tutoring, but also K-12, and back to school. That means if Logan does end up taking after me once he gets into elementary school, junior high, or high school - he can receive free math help with an online math tutor. Maybe if we recognize that it's an area of challenge early, he will end up having an easier time with math than I do.

In my post, I ♥ This Age, I mentioned that I started using progesterone two weeks ago for two main reasons: 1) I have a history of bad menstrual cramps (as in, I didn't think labor was painful because I am used to the exact same feeling when I'm having my period) and 2) My mood has never been as excellent as it was when I was pregnant & breastfeeding (despite having severe nausea when I was pregnant and back pain). When I was done breastfeeding I had my first & only dose of the "baby blues" (my son was 10 months old). These are two of the top benefits of progesterone - typically when a woman has a good amount of progesterone she does not experience cramps nor depression (unless there is an obvious reason).

But there is another benefit of progesterone as well - if a woman experiences migraine headaches.

Growing up, I was a healthy child. I had my share of colds, the chickenpox, and other usual viruses - but nothing serious. I had fantastic attendance at school, and this continued in college, aside from a month when I had mono. Every now and then I had severe menstrual cramps or a headache - but, they occurred two or three days a year. For the most part, I always felt good.

In March 2002, two months before I graduated from college, I began having stomach pains (mainly at night) like I was having my period when I wasn’t. Sometimes they would be so bad that I’d wake up in the middle of the night and couldn’t go back to sleep because I was in so much pain. This continued for three months.

When I got married the following year (April 2003) I began experiencing headaches almost every day. I also began catching one virus after another, was so fatigued I thought I had chronic fatigue system, had insomnia for the first time in my life, had dyspareunia, and fell into what I thought was a post wedding depression. I figured this was "me" based on the changes in my life (I had just gotten married, moved from Iowa to Nebraska, started a new job, and was dealing with everything else that goes along with beginning a completely new life on my own for the first time). However, as the year went on, my symptoms became worse. Every night when I'd get home from work I'd have to lay on the couch. I couldn't force myself to do anything. I wasn't able to attend many social functions because I felt so miserable, and I still feel bad that I believe I ruined Joe's social life that year because he had to stay home on the evenings/weekends to take care of me!

The idea was thrown at me that it could be side effects from the birth control pill, but I was skeptical. I'd been on it briefly for no reason (April 2001-January 2002) and had no side effects (or so I thought. . .I now think the stomach pains I mentioned in the fifth paragraph of this post, which started two months after I went off the pill, were caused by my hormones which had gotten messed up while I was on the pill).

That fall those stomach pains returned. So, in December 2003 I decided to try a lower dose birth control pill. Instead of my symptoms getting better - they actually got worse and now I had a few additional: spotting between my period for the first time, severe bloating, flatulence, sudden weight gain, and most serious – chest pains. (An uncomfortable tightening of my chest.)

In January 2004 I woke up early one morning, feeling as if I had a heavy weight on my chest. It hurt really bad, unlike just the "uncomfortable chest pains" I’d had the previous month. I planned to go to the doctor that day, but it was gone before noon.

In February 2004 the chest pains seemed to occur every evening, and one night I woke up in the middle of the night because I couldn’t breathe. Ironically, that day Oprah had a show about freak fatalities – and one story was about a woman who died from a blood clot in her lung, caused by the birth control pill. Needless to say, the next day I went off the birth control pill completely. A few days later my hair stylist told me that one of her clients had lost her daughter who was my age due to a blood clot in her lung from the birth control pill. It's crazy that I suddenly went from hearing only positive stories about the pill to now everywhere I turned there was reinforcement that it was a good thing I'd gone off.

I was really shocked that my entire year of suffering could be linked to one little pill - but that was obviously the case because by March 2004 my symptoms from the past year were gone. I had not expected them to go from on to off like a light switch - but they did.

However, on March 16th I had something strange occur that I'll spare you and won't go into here. I'll just say that it prompted me to make an appt. on March 17th with a doctor in Omaha for the first time (my appt. was March 18th). She ran some tests and noticed there was an abnormality with my liver. (I learned that another side effect from the birth control pill can be damage to the liver.)

Fortunately, I had gone off the pill before damage was severe, and my liver began to heal. When I was retested in April 2004, my liver results were normal. I was finally "free!" I described it as walking around inside a thick fog for over a year but having it lift so that I could breathe again!

The only downside was that each month after I went off the pill, my menstrual cramps became worse. For the first time in my life, I had "labor pain" every month that lasted on & off for two weeks (but no stomach pains at any other time of the month or any other complaints after going off the pill).

 I met my OBGYN in Omaha for the first time in May 2004 and she recommended I try a different form of birth control (like the shot). The idea just didn't sit well with me, though. Side effects are least common with the pill - so if I experienced them with that, I didn't want to take the chance with something even stronger. As horrible as my cramps were, I just couldn't risk going back to all of the other symptoms that (as far as I was concerned) had ruined my first year of marriage.

It's a good thing I didn't try the shot because I have since learned that the more you mess with different forms of birth control, the more your body's chemistry is messed up so then it's even harder/longer for your body to get healthy.

During this time my mom was going through menopause and was learning a lot about hormones. She had me meet with her nurse practitioner and get my hormones tested. I was deficient in progesterone. I wrote about the problems that can occur when a woman is low in progesterone in my post, Returning To Normal (Is That A Good Thing?) For signs on low progesterone, click here.

I was introduced to over-the-counter progesterone cream which I used infrequently from August 2004 until January 2005 - that month I used it religiously (because I hadn't noticed an improvement with my menstrual cramps yet). But, I had one of the worst periods of my life. It was so debilitating that I had to cancel my whole day to stay in bed – I was in too much pain to even sleep. I tried the heating pad and lost count of my intake of Ibuprofen – nothing seemed to help. I remember calling my husband at work, crying, because I didn’t think I could take anymore pain. I was convinced that something was definitely wrong with me and I was desperate for answers. My OBGYN had told me the previous year that I had a tilted uterus, but so do 25% of women and some don't have menstrual cramps at all!

In February 2005 I had another off-the-charts awful period – so, I gave up on the progesterone cream.

In March 2005 I began experiencing the stomach pains not around my period again. (This was the only symptom I'd had both on the pill and off.) I woke up in the night with what felt like a heavy weight in my abdomen. I went to my mom’s nurse practitioner again who did some tests which showed I had copper & aluminum toxicity. (Guess what? When I looked up side effects of the birth control pill again, one of those was high copper levels! The pill contains copper so it's actually copper toxicity that causes all of the side effects!) My levels were higher than she’d ever seen aside for one 75-year-old man. (It is very possible that since I was also experiencing a rash on my finger at this time - where I wear my wedding ring that contains copper - that extra exposure from my ring is why the very first pain I reported here in March 2002 occurred a month after I became engaged. I simply had an overdose of copper from the pill in combination with my ring.) We are all exposed to metals such as copper almost daily, but if our body is healthy, it regulates them. My test showed that my cortisol levels were off the charts, indicating that my system was too stressed to keep my body regulated.

The nurse practitioner theorized that may be why the progesterone cream wasn’t helping, as when people have high levels of metals in their system, the body sometimes rebels to added hormones. She suggested I go through a detox program. . .but in May 2005 I had my annual appointment. My OBGYN explained to me about endometriosis, a condition that she thought I might have. She gave me pamphlets to read and suggested I make an appointment for a laparoscopy surgery to find out what exactly was causing all of my pain. At first I didn’t think I could have something as serious as endometriosis: a reproductive disease where the lining of the uterus grows on the outside rather than the inside. If not treated, endometriosis can cause infertility (as in 35% of cases). But the more I read, the more I couldn’t deny that I had every single symptom.

In July 2005 after two months of researching, reading, and talking to people about endometriosis, I became comfortable with the idea of surgery. After another incredibly intense painful period that kept me in bed all day, I decided it was ridiculous to put it off any longer. I had the surgery on August 26, 2005.

Fortunately, I was not one of the 7 million women in the United States to be diagnosed with endometriosis. My reproductive area was considered clean and healthy by my doctor (no cysts or fibroid tumors either, which she was also looking for) - in fact, she said I looked better than what they're taught in medical school that we should look like.

But unfortunately, this meant I didn't have an answer. For Dyspareunia and Dysmenorrhea (the two medical terms of what I had), many times labor/giving birth can reposition the uterus so that the pain naturally goes away for those whose reason is their tilted uterus, or there is a procedure called the UpLift, where the uterus is purposely positioned "correctly" by doctors.

But since I didn't plan to get pregnant for another two years, I decided to try detox for the copper toxicity. I met with a metal detox specialist on November 3, 2005 and began the program, hoping to get a "clean slate." The specialist claimed it would allow my adrenal system to become healthy again and to regulate metals on its own so that I wouldn't develop toxicity ever again. Most of all, to relieve my pain.

The detox was a diet and supplement program (this was also incase maybe the colon, located just under the reproductive system, was reacting to hormones during the menstrual cycle). Aside from the many bottles that the detox specialist gave me to drink each day to rid my body from copper & aluminum, the program also included daily intake of fish oil, evening primrose oil, magnesium, zinc, and vitamins B, C, E. The diet meant avoiding dairy, wheat, citrus, chocolate, fried foods, alcohol, and caffeine - and increasing fiber.

Sadly, I found there to be no improvement (except that ever since my laparoscopy I hadn't experienced the cramps inbetween my cycle). Two of my periods I was in so much pain that I was sweating and nearly passed out. I had to refer to leftover painkillers from my surgery. I essentially "gave up" after a few months. From then on, on my worst day I would take a leftover painkiller from my surgery. My last one was the month before I conceived my son during the summer of 2007.

For awhile I was optimistic that pregnancy/childbirth had in fact cured my Dysmenorrhea (the severe menstrual cramps). I had my first period when my son was almost 6 months old and for the next six months I either didn't have ANY cramps at all (I was completely caught off guard when my period would start) or just had mild cramps.

But once my son reached a year, my labor-like menstrual cramps returned as if they'd never stopped. (Thankfully I haven't had Dyspareunia since he was born - I believe childbirth did help with that one.)

(I should note that I tested low for progesterone during my first trimester of pregnancy, so I was prescribed suppositories. This was my third time for having my progesterone checked and each time I was low.)

I considered the progesterone cream again twice (but didn't actually go through with it) - once during a three week period when my son was 4 months old when I felt a shift in my mood for the first time all year, as if my period was coming on (which it did 1.5 months later) and then again when he was 10 months old when I had a month of depression (after I stopped breastfeeding). It really made sense that my hormones could be to blame for the cramps. After all, why else would "that area" feel PERFECT the entire time I was pregnant and breastfeeding? Absolutely nothing else changed except my hormones. And why else would my doctor perform surgery and not be able to see a cause? Also, I had suddenly gained 15 lbs. when I stopped breastfeeding, despite me being more active than ever (chasing my now-mobile son around) and eating less (I had less time to eat and less of an appetite once I stopped producing milk). Finally, aside from the three week period when my son was 4 months old, my mood was on a "high" (consistantly better than it'd ever been in my life) until I stopped producing milk when he was 9.5 months old. I hoped that the detox program from 3-4 years prior had reduced my copper levels and so if I ever wanted to try progesterone cream again it might work.

When my son was 15 months old I began experiencing the stomach cramps inbetween periods again - and migraine headaches for the first time in 5 years. During those 5 years I had felt very healthy again (hadn't experienced any of the problems that I'd had while on the pill. Other than the menstrual cramps I had felt excellent for five years) and had very few headaches (absolutely none after my sixth week of pregnancy and the entire time I was breastfeeding) and the few I did have were mild and able to be relieved with an ibuprofen, caffeine, or sleep.

But these headaches became frequent, long lasting (often up to 12 hrs), and made me so incredibly nauseous I was sure I'd throw up. Nothing I did (including ice packs) or took helped.

At first I wasn't sure if I was having migraines. I'd always heard that a person is sensitive to sound or light and that they may "see" things. None were my case. But on September 6, 2009 I woke up at 5:30 am to a piercing in my head. Normally these headaches were throbbing and pulsating all over my entire head (which is a sign of a migraine). This time I didn't have a headache, but every couple of minutes it felt like someone was sticking a pin on the right side of my brain! It was very scary. I immediately got online to research whether this could be a sign of something serious and if I needed to go to the doctor right away. I have an appt. scheduled at the end of this month (the week before my annual OBGYN appt.) for a physical and to get my cholesterol and other stuff checked, so I will be discussing these headaches with my doctor then. (Knock on wood, I haven't had one the past week.)

Right now it appears that it's not serious but that I am indeed suffering from migraines. The month of August 2009 I had one almost every day - it was awful. One night it was so bad I almost went to the hospital.

I didn't realize there are often signs before a migraine develops:

■Feelings of elation or intense energy
■Cravings for sweets
■Thirst
■Drowsiness
■Irritability or depression

What is a migraine? During a migraine attack, the temporal artery enlarges. (The temporal artery is an artery that lies on the outside of the skull just under the skin of the temple.) Enlargement of the temporal artery stretches the nerves that coil around the artery and causes the nerves to release chemicals. The chemicals cause inflammation, pain, and further enlargement of the artery. The increasing enlargement of the artery magnifies the pain.

I didn't realize that some people can experience migraines without a headache. For example, also during the month of August I kept joking to Joe that I had vertigo. I kept feeling like the world was spinning (but I didn't feel sick - just weird - in fact, one day I had him call me every hour because I was worried I'd faint). Now I've learned that vertigo is a form of migraine so many people who have the headaches also suffer from vertigo!

Migraine afflicts 28 million Americans, with females suffering more frequently (17%) than males (6%). (This is why progesterone may have something to do with it - progesterone is "the female hormone." The birth control pill lowers it so that a woman won't ovulate. Obviously men should have their hormones tested, too, and possibly they are deficient in something else.) Causes and cures seem to be very sketchy and disappointing (nothing causes or cures them for sure, nor does the same thing work for everyone), but experts do think there is a genetic link. I don't know of any blood relatives who have had migraines, except that my great grandma (maternal grandmother's mom) had severe headaches for many years that caused her clinical depression.

On August 29th, 2009 (11 days after my son turned 16 months old), I began consistently using an organic brand of progesterone cream (Emerita). Directions say to apply 1/4 tsp of the lotion twice a day from day 14-28 to an area of your body (I put it on my stomach, but some women put it on their breasts, hips, or thighs). For women like me who have irregular periods and are taking it for bad cramps, their nice & helpful customer service representative recommended using it until my period starts - and even during if it helps with cramps. Experts say it often takes three months for progesterone cream to work. So, I will let you know whether there is an improvement with my cramps and headaches the end of November. (Thankfully my mood has been stable since the month after I stopped breastfeeding, but I can report already that my mood is better than it usually is when my period is ready to start - today is day 29 for me but I've had no signs.) Otherwise, my only other option for the cramps after I'm done having children is a hysterectomy. For migraines, there are prescription medications, but ever since I was on the pill I seem to have side effects now with everything - so I would prefer this natural route!

I believe that as my hormones began to change after I stopped breastfeeding, my progesterone began to dip lower and lower and lower which is what caused first - my depression, second - my weight gain, third - my cramps, and now fourth - migraines. Once my progesterone is at an adequate level hopefully I won't have to deal with any of these things ever again!!!

Last Tuesday I mentioned that I had extended my blog break (Saturday & today's posts don't count). But I forgot to mention when I'm returning with the new version of this blog. My plan had been today, however due to a major shot in the head early this morning when I lost everything on my blogsite, including 12 hours of work I'd done yesterday to my layout (a new design, buttons, and many other HTML code that was making my page the best it'd ever been - I'd planned to unveil it today with the start of my new posts), it's going to take awhile for me to recover (this wasn't the first time I have lost hours on this blog - despite trying to save as much as I can), so I have decided to wait until the first week of October to return from my blog break. Except, this Friday I'm going to post about a medical mystery and today I wanted to announce the arrival of my friend/next door neighbor's new baby girl!

Makenna Camille was born at 12:42pm this afternoon (Tuesday, September 8, 2009) weighing an even 9 pounds, and 22 inches long. Labor was 5 hrs. I haven't actually spoken to Jenn yet so I look forward to hearing more details of the birth and meeting her 4th child when they are settled back at home!

Her due date was this Saturday (the 12th) so I had a feeling she would have her baby this week, before then! Her first two babies were induced and she was with this one as well. Her husband said it was a smooth delivery and everything is going well so that is good!

Joe's nephew also became a father to a son (his second child) on Saturday night! (September 5th). They had their first baby, a girl, two months before Logan so their kids are only 18 months apart. Once again we don't know any details yet of the delivery (although she was 40 weeks along and her first baby was induced so she might have been again), just that mom and baby are doing well!!! (I saw a pic on facebook and can't believe how good Mom looks!) Anderson Mark weighed in 8 lbs 12 oz, 21 in.

Have you heard that there is now an at-home test women can take as early as 10 weeks gestation to find out if they're having a boy or girl? It's called Boy or Girl Gender Prediction Test by IntelliGender. I'm SO buying it next time I get pregnant!!! It was so hard to wait until 20 weeks with Logan! They say it is almost 80% accurate - that's not enough to start making plans but it's better than any of those old wives tales I did last time (I got 50/50, as you can read in my post Guess The Gender). You can read more about this over-the-counter test here at CNN.

Not much else to report since my post, I ♥ This Age, except that on Sept. 1st while Logan was at Babysitter's (where he goes 8 hrs a week), I went over to Brooke's house to finally meet her baby who was born the end of April (she lives a half an hour away). She is only working 3 hrs a week at the radio station (where I worked 2003-2006) and we had such a blast that morning that we have decided to have "stay at home mom day" each week to get together from now on! It's crazy how you can know someone for awhile and not realize how much you have in common until you are at a similar stage. I worked with her for three years and we hardly talked. Then, after I left the radio station to be a full time writer, she e-mailed me because she was writing a book, too. She tried for awhile to get it published but decided it wasn't for her - however, we've continued to e-mail back and forth and get together a few times. We've since discovered other similarities, and both realized having another stay at home mom with a similar parenting style to chat with in person each week is awesome. So next week she is coming over here and then after that we will meet every Monday, either rotating between our houses or meeting somewhere Logan and Kaelyn can play. She's also looking into joining a MOPS group and invited me to go with her to a meeting which I might do.

I didn't end up meeting with Stacy that day because she caught a virus from her boy (Stacy works full time but has Mon & Tues off) so we are getting together next weekend instead. Our husbands will join us as we take Logan & Jaxson to the Dinosaur Exhibit for the first time! (By the way, Joe had his last golf night of the season last Tues. There's a dinner tonight but from now on he'll be home after work on Tuesdays - yeay!)

Over the weekend Joe & I re-arranged our office because I'm either going to decorate it or our family room next (we went to Best Buy and almost bought a flat screen for the FR but right before we purchased a Plasma - the cheapest for the biggest - we decided not to because it sounds like they are all being replaced by LEDs so we didn't want to get something that won't be compatible or good quality in a few years. So that's why I might decorate our office first 'cuz who knows when we'll finally get a flatscreen; then I'll be done decorating the downstairs after two years of living here)! Here is a pic of Logan playing in our computer desk. I love that he answers "yes" and "no" now when I ask him questions! :) I am still ADORING this age!!!! I can't believe how easy he has been the past two months!!!On Monday morning we met my parents halfway to Des Moines because Joe & I hadn't had a night to ourselves since the end of July. We went out to eat to our fav Mexican restaurant, Margarita's, and then to the movie theater to see The Time Traveler's Wife (which I wrote about in I ♥ This Age). I thought it was good. I liked both the book and movie equally. The only thing that kept them both from being all-time favs was it's just a really sad story! I can't believe I didn't bring Kleenex with me. After seeing previews of The Lovely Bones I really want to read that now. I've had a ton of people recommend it to me over the years but I've never gotten around to reading it - I didn't really understand what it was about. But after seeing the previews of the movie, I can see why the book might be good. Now that my library card arrived in the mail I'm going to see if they have it to read before the movie is out.

Tomorrow my parents are passing through Omaha so they are bringing Logan back. This coming weekend is the ISU Cyclones Vs Iowa Hawkeyes game so we are going over to Lisa & Darin's for that which I'm looking forward to. Go Cyclones! :) I'll end with a picture of Logan & me on the day of their ISU Vs Huskers party last year!

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This is my first time for participating in the meme, Random Thoughts Tuesday, created by The Un Mom. So here I go! :)In my post All Caught Up, I explained that I was taking a two week blog break. However, I ended up posting a couple of times last week, one to ask if anyone had a suggestion for me, and another to explain how I was scammed. So I will be extending my blog break, then I will start "the new version" of this blog. For today, though, I decided to participate in the meme which means here is one more update after all (which I won't be doing with the new version), since it's been since August 13th. We had a good weekend in Iowa for Joe's HS friend's wedding on the 15th. Joe gave his first (and probably only) best man speech which went well and was funny (the guy is easy to have stories about, lol). Of course all year I'd told Joe I'd help him write it as long as he didn't wait until the night before. So what ended happening after the rehearsal on the night of the 14th? Joe wrote his speech. :p I did end up helping him a little. :)

Logan did really well on the trip there and the trip home. We decided to put his old carseat back in my car (it's been in Joe's car since we got him the facing front one at 14 months; before that we only had one so when Joe would take Logan to his babysitter's where he's gone 8 hrs a week since 11 months old, I would have to drive Joe's car to his office and get my car back to pick Logan up) - because he will sleep in the facing back carseat but not the facing forward carseat (except for like 10-15 minutes). So both 3-hr trips he slept 1.5 hrs. The other half of the trips he was happy, except for a brief time before I got into the backseat because we were stopped in traffic on the interstate on the way home. We didn't move for a half an hour due to construction! I talked to some moms at the wedding and they all said car rides improve around 3 years old, but prior to that they are work! He seems to like listening to his two CDs (since he was 6 months old we've listened to them many mornings while I'm getting ready in the bathroom/bedroom): Baby Einstein's Lullaby Classics and Leap Frog's Learning Rhythms (a free disc that came with one of his Leap Frog toys).

Not much happened the following week, except Chris invited me to go with her to a Omaha writer's gathering that Wednesday night (the 19th). I didn't even know she liked to write, but she admitted to being a closet writer (non-fiction). We met several others at Scooters Coffee House and chatted a bit about writing, but basically the point was to have an excuse to get away and write! So I worked a bit on my novel and might join them again sometime. (They were all unpubbed, unlike the writers group I was a member of 2005-2008 where most were published.)

On the same day that I found out I was scammed (Tuesday, August 25th), I did have a dose of positive. I heard back from the publisher that had been interested in seeing my full manuscript (I first wrote about them in my post My Update On My Writing). They are willing to consider me. . .if I take out all of the flahsbacks and re-submit. This is going to be hard because to meet their word count I'm going to have to replace those parts with new scenes. Essentially this means I'm re-writing my book which is just as hard as starting over, especially since I wrote it 2.5 years ago and have now moved on to a new story. :/

You can read my writer bio here, but I'll give you a quick recap: The first book I submitted to Harlequin in 2006 was well-received by the editor, however because it didn't perfectly match their guidelines for any of their lines, she suggested I write something new that did. I was very eager and desperate, so starting over didn't bother me at all. I was active in my local Romance Writers Of America chapter and with help from my critique group who knew editors personally, I cranked out another manuscript in 2007 that did fit a new line of Harlequin. When I learned that I was being considered for a contract, it was a dream come true! But my "high" abruptly ended when I learned that the line had suddenly closed, discontinuing the publication of all books not yet contracted.

I was pregnant at the time and so at least I had something to divert my attention, and my son's first year in 2008. In 2009, however, I decided to see if there were any other possible publishers for my almost-published book. Unfortunately, the line of books I wrote for was unique - the style isn't the typical romance novel (i.e. the flashbacks) so it did not appear that I was going to have much luck finding another company to submit to, since all of the publishers I came across had strict guidelines that meant my book would need to be re-written if I wanted to submit. It would be easier if I had an agent, which is a goal of mine, but I can't really complain because I haven't done what is necessary to get one! I was just about to bury my manuscript in my closet and just focus on my new book (a general fiction novel that should fit most publishers of that genre) - when I found a romance publisher that seemed similar to the line I'd originally written for.

I submitted my synopsis and first three chapters, and in June they requested my full manuscript. However, now it appears I'd have to rewrite it after all. At least they are giving me a chance. . .most publishers won't if it doesn't immediately appear to fit what they want. Will I ever get there???

Aside from the writers group that week, I went to my massage therapist on Thursday the 20th.

On Friday the 21st we took Logan to The Amazing Pizza Machine for the first time! :) This is Omaha's step up from Chuck E Cheese. Joe & I were really impressed. The building was huge, very nice, and like a casino for kids! One half was the buffet and there were 4 huge movie theater rooms you could choose to sit, each with their own fun theme. The buffet was more than just every type of pizza you can imagine - there were also tacos, all different types of meat, a salad bar, a pasta bar, a dessert bar, and a ton of drink choices.

For the games, not only were there video games and activities I remembered from my childhood back when there was Showbiz Pizza (skee-ball and the moles that pop up through the holes that you hit, etc.) but there were bumper cars, go carts, and a carnival ride! They didn't have my childhood favorite - the cage with plastic balls (I think I heard that is too dangerous, which I do remember it being when I was a kid because you could get trapped under the balls and kids could jump on you) but there was a climibing playground that Logan saw and took off right up to the top like a monkey. Joe looked at me and was like, "who is this guy?!"It was free since he is under 3, so we will definitely go again. In fact, it seems like the perfect thing to do on some winter afternoons when it's just him and me (not to eat, but to go in and run around). Here he is on our way home taking a quick snooze:For that weekend (August 22-23) those who read my post The End Of Summer might remember me mentioning that I was going on a weekend getaway by myself to write. But I'm going to have to do that some other time because we had to purchase & plant our trees that we were required by our two year deadline of living in our house (August 29th). We really like them, we have a korean pear in our front yard and a sugar maple in the back. We're not into landscaping, but we came up with an idea for rocks, plants, etc. this past Saturday the 29th to hopefully complete this coming weekend. (On Sunday the 30th my parents stopped by on their way home to Iowa from a vacation out west, they only stayed a couple of hours, we went out to eat at 370 Grill, then Logan wore his Chicago Bears jersey for the first time and watched the game on TV with Joe) But back to the weekend of the 22nd - I bought the rest of the items to complete our kitchen decorations! So now only two rooms left of my downstairs (my new years resolution). For those who know me personally, I will post pictures on Logan's photo site.

We also went to Babies R Us and bought Logan his first legos and a toddler toilet! :) For the past month or two he has shown an interest when I go to the bathroom. Most recently he lifts up the lid for me, claps when I go, hands me my toilet paper, flushes the toilet, waves to it going down the drain, and then puts the lid down. So even though I hadn't planned to start potty training until he was 18 months old, he's clearly showing signs that he's ready now at 16 months. He caught on to the toddler toilet immediately - now when I sit down on my toilet, he sits down on his. During the first week (last week) I just let him keep his clothes on. He waits until after I'm done peeing, then he grabs toilet paper, pretends to wipe, and puts it in his toilet. Then he flushes it and puts the lid down. This week he has started pulling his pants down, and so the next thing will be when I can tell he's pooping I'm going to run him to the toilet so that he can go in there to understand that is his potty. I would like to hope that potty training won't be hard with him, especially since he's always been a self weaner (and it only took me 2 months - I was trained by 22 months old. . .but I'm a girl). I don't plan to ever be forceful with him or try any of the drastic measures some parents go to (like letting their kids walk around naked all day). Judging by his history with everything else so far, he's going to want to give up his diapers so that he can move on to the next level - when he's ready.

For news last week, Logan came down with virus #4 this year (or #7 for his 16 months). I was supposed to get together with Stacy one day and Brooke another but am seeing them both today instead. At first I was worried - when I scooped him out of bed the first morning his breathing was super raspy. None of his colds have ever been in his chest before, nor had he ever had a phlegm sounding cough - but this time he did. Thankfully it went away once the day went on (and I gave him lots of orange juice!) and the rest of the week all he had was a runny nose. Hopefully he'll be back to normal by the end of this week. Only one day (last Tuesday) did it seem to bother him - that's the only day he's been fussy during month 16. (So we went to the library for his second time, you can read about our first time on my post The End Of Summer, there weren't any toddler programs this time but he could still play with a few of the toys and I bought us a library card.)

As I mentioned in my post, All Caught Up, month 15 was awesome - Logan was perfectly behaved (obeying everything I said and was not interested in doing anything wrong) and happy every minute except for two days (no temper tantrums). Month 16 has been the same except only the one fussy day so far. He has been so easy and such a joy!!! All he seems to want to do this month is help me and make me smile. He puts his toys away in his toy box when he's done and then claps for himself. (Even though I've never even been consistant telling him to pick up his toys.) He doesn't mind me washing dishes (for some reason since he was a year old he has screamed bloody murder if I wash dishes in front of him. Maybe it's linked to his fear of water that we noticed at 13 months old when he suddenly stopped loving baths as he always had. He has been getting better about bathtime lately so hopefully next summer we'll be able to go swimming more than the two times we did this past summer.) He's been acting so polite and sweet!!! Seeing him like this every day is really a confidence booster as a mother. Yeay, I've been doing something right!

I have been in "mama heaven," finally feeling again like I did last year when I thought I'd found my niche. I don't want this phase to end!!! Of course the past two blissful months have caused me to think, hmm, maybe I'll want three kids. . .which is crazy if you read my posts during month 14 (the hardest month of Logan's life) when in Everything-3 I contemplated staying at just one! But even on my worst days I remind myself that it's not an option for me to just have one child. I talked about this in my post, 8 Months Old (because I was raised an only child, and even though I was okay with it, it's still not as good as having a sibling. My old neighbor (an only child) once said "having an only child is the worst thing you could do to a child." I wouldn't go that far - I think there are a lot of worse things!!! - but even if an only child has the best life possible, it's like a single parent family (which I also had): they can be happy but there will always be a void in their life.

But some parents obviously shouldn't even have one child and so an only child might be the best case scenerio. For my husband and I, we've felt we'd do our best with just two, so our plan has always been for him to get a vasectomy after baby #2. There are two of us, so two makes sense. But during Logan's excellent months like July and August I start to think about my post, My Update On Writing, when I explained that I can never do anything permanent. Well, a vasectomy pretty much is! So I'm not sure I will like the idea of knowing I can never have the option of having another child. That there is no changing my mind, no going back. That once baby #2 reaches the toddler stage I will know for sure that I will never again experience the baby phase.

I don't mean to be morbid but what if my two children are together in a car accident and die? It's very possible I will be too depressed to ever consider having another - but what if I decide I would like another chance to raise a child? Or what if when Joe & I die (or we grow old and just need help), they will be able to work together, not have 100% fall on one person - so the more siblings the better.

Or, most simply, what if I have two boys? I always imagined myself with one of each, but ever since I got pregnant I have been perfectly fine with the idea of never having a daughter. That was magnified once Logan was born. Boys are the best! But, for example, at the wedding there were a ton of little girls, all wearing cute little dresses, bows in ther hair. . .I started thinking that I really do want both experiences. Even if I have a girl next but she's easier (including the pregnancy) it's possible I could talk myself into still getting pregnant a third time.

Plus, I've learned so much about pregnancy and motherhood since getting pregnant and having my son - I don't have any regrets with Logan (I feel I've done a good job with him so far!) but I'm glad I'm at least going to have one more child (God willing) because there are a few things I want to try with baby #2 that I didn't even know about/consider with Logan.

Finally, I know Joe. . .he's not going to get a V unless I make the appt. and pretty much drag him to the place. However, he's very set on two children being it for us. But if he doesn't make the move on his own to get a V then he can't complain if we get pregnant with a third :)

We'll still plan on having just 2, and I'll treat my next pregnancy/baby like it's my last - but maybe I won't make Joe get a V, and since I can't be on birth control due to the side effects then I guess nothing is for sure!

Thankfully I wasn't pregnant like my dream freaked me out about in The End Of Summer, which is good because even with Logan's easy months I still want to wait until next summer before I get pregnant with baby #2. I think it was just because August is the month I got pregnant with Logan and then last month I was late, which I wrote about in my post, Much Better Day.

Here is a pic of Logan engrossed in one of my books :p It's really cute, every day he picks up one of my books, climbs up on the couch, opens it and pretends he's reading!A funny - but gross - thing Logan did recently was when the dog dishes were out (I try to keep them up when he's around but sometimes am late getting there) - I found him drinking the water like the dogs! I had to laugh under my breath.

Speaking of my dogs (Cosmo is in front and Bella is in the back of this pic, taken on Aug 21st after their recent haircuts. The girl I've been going to for 4 years opened her own business a couple of months ago so it's 20 min away from me now) - a situation I was hoping would not happen occured on August 26th. In my post, A One Year Old And Two Dogs, I told the story of my oldest maltipoo, Bella, biting Logan. I had hoped it was a one time thing. She had spazzed out getting groomed at PetSmart that same week (thus why I opt for driving 20 min away so that she can go to the same groomer she's gone to since she was a puppy), so I thought maybe something weird was going on with her and it was an isolated incident (she's never spazzed out before in her 4.5 years of life). Bella is my easier dog; it's Cosmo that usually annoys me and who I don't have as close of a relationship with. So I began making more time for her (obviously that hadn't been happening as much since Logan was born 13 months prior) and I began taking her for walks again (something that the Dog Whisperer recommends to improve dogs' behavior).

I was optimistic - as I wrote in my post, The End Of Summer, "Bella has been letting him pet her whenever he wants - a first - and he also throws the ball for her which she loves, so she has definitely come around!" In that same post, I talked about how she's always been my ideal dog, worth the wait of never having a pet for 25 years. However, I'd no longer make a clone of her. Just like how Cosmo was easier than Bella as a puppy but then they reversed as adult dogs, in this area Cosmo is definitely the better dog. He's never once showed aggression to Logan, even when it would be warranted (like yesterday Logan was trying to run Cosmo over with his ride-on truck and actually did hit him before I stepped in and told Logan that was unacceptable).

Last Wednesday morning Logan was eating rice puffs. The dogs are always right by his side when he eats because he often drops his food :p. He even feeds them on purpose which is another reason why I thought maybe Bella has seemed much more friendly towards him the past three months.

I was sitting on the couch (Logan and the dogs were on the other side) and so I didn't see what happened but I assume that Logan was feeding them and then decided to take his food back. I heard Bella snarl the same sound she'd made when she bit Logan back in May. Both times with that bark she curled her lips back and snapped at him.

Logan burst into tears. I grabbed Bella by the neck and threw her in the basement. Words can not tell you what I felt when I looked at Logan and saw his head bleeding. It was a small wound, but still - the worst injury he has had in his 16 months of life came from my dog! It was worse than the first bite in May that had left teeth marks on his hand but hadn't punctured the skin. Every time I look at Logan and I see the scab on his head I want to cry. I held him as he cried a cry I rarely hear - I think it was a mixture of fear along with the injury. After a couple of minutes he stopped and then went back to playing (and has acted the same around her since), but I left Bella downstairs for awhile. I needed time to think about what I'm going to do. The first time it happened I was willing to forgive. This time I did not.

The problem is, I don't understand how to prevent it in the future. She is not mean to him at any other point of any other day. She goes to his crib and kisses him when he wakes up from his nap. She lets him push her around. She chases him when he grabs her toy. These two occasions have come without warning. I can't keep my eye on her and Logan every second to step in if I am able to tell she's getting annoyed in the future. I had hoped that she realized after I threw her across the room last time that her behavior was unacceptable (since I'd never done anything like that with her before). Obviously not.

So as hard as it is, Joe and I are trying to get comfortable with the idea of giving her to someone else. She's perfect with anyone over the age of 6. I wish that I could have just frozen her in time when Logan was born and then unfrozen her once our kids reach that age because then she wouldn't have missed out. I know that she misses the way things used to be when she didn't have to share me. We were best friends. I thought I'd be able to keep it that way once I had Logan, but it's been impossible. She has never been just a dog to me - she's been closer to me than a lot of people. I know that's where I went wrong. . .she knows I'm the dominant but she thinks she's dominant over everyone else. I just never would have expected with a maltipoo I'd have to consider giving her up. We're not talking about a dog that can attack. Not only is Bella 10 lbs (Logan is over twice her size and will continue to grow) so she doesn't have the ability to cause serious harm, but also does not have the personality to injure - she is a friendly dog, she's not trying to injure him (she's not going to continue to bite him once he's down), she's merely doing what they do in the animal kingdom to those they love (they put other dogs in their place by giving them a quick bite).

So yesterday I called our vet to find out if she has any suggestions. She explained that Bella considers Logan a part of "the dog pack" and that she sees herself as the pack leader. She said that a dog behavior expert might be able to help by teaching Bella to be submissive to Logan, however they are pretty expensive. We are considering it, though, because maybe he/she will also be able to help with both of my dogs' barking - and if a bite happens a third time, three strikes has to be out. Bella will have to move in with my dad and stepmom. My dad is retired (she needs someone who isn't going to leave her alone all day), they have a yorkie (she would do fine as an only child but if someone has a dog then it needs to be her size), and she is familiar with them (they have dogsat her many times and she's always excited to see them). That way I will be able to see her again since I will have an extremely hard grieving process if I do have to give her up, and maybe this way it won't have to be permanent. But I really hope it doesn't come to that. I haven't written much about my dogs except when there's something to complain about so they probably come across as bad dogs, but I haven't written about the other 360 days a year when they are truly angels sent by God. They are no worse than most other peoples' pets. They have brought me nothing but comfort, joy, love, fun, and every other wonderful feeling in the world. But Logan comes first; Bella is a dog. . .I think she even killed a baby bunny on Saturday; I'm sure most people probably think that's a good thing, but even though I'm not a PETA person - I know it's necessary to kill animals and it's the way God designed us for survival and evolution, etc. - I'd prefer to leave that up to others. In the spring my husband & I found a baby robin limping around our yard and helped it, and when we saw the bunny's sibling we made sure that the mom came back and got it (which it appears so, here is a picture of the one that lived). Onto other things. . .I've decided that snacks like puffs, yogurt bites, wheals, mum mums, gold fish crackers, etc. are now going to be only for when we're out in public or in the car. Because Logan has started getting picky with food for the first time. Now he's wanting to eat those things instead of real food! But after staying at the same weight for 5 months (24 lbs) he has finally reached 25 lbs this month!

A few weeks ago (when he was 15.5 months old) we decided to take down the baby gates. He'd learned how to open and close one of them and so it was pointless to have them up anymore, especially with him needing a lot of area to run around. The good news is that last month and this month he has been playing by himself! I finally finished reading The Discipline Book which I will do a post over sometime like I did with The Fussy Baby Book (my post was titled Attachment Parenting), and it explained that healthy kids aren't capable of really playing by themselves until 18 months old (prior to 6 months old which Logan did doesn't count, lol). So I am happy that he started a couple of months early because that is part of why 2009 had been a lot harder for me than 2008 (because he required me to move at his pace). There's a part of the book that said something like, hang in there moms of 12-18 month olds, you will get to rest again! (For me it was age 9 to 14 months.)

Month 15 and 16 have been an amazing difference as far as I'm concerned. It also helps that I've been finding my own personal happiness again (which I wrote I was striving for in My Update On My Writing because I'd somehow lost it around the new year).

I finally started progesterone cream on Aug 29th. (I have written a few times before that I think it may help with my severe period cramps, which began in 2004 and stopped in 2007 when I got pregnant but returned for 10 days every month since Logan turned a year old Apr 2009. It also might help keep my mood great every day like it was when I was breastfeeding. I spent the month of February depressed, I believe because of a drop in my hormones once I completed breastfeeding, I hope not to have a month like that again.)

I've narrowed down my cleaning service to two, so that is still a possibility.

Yesterday I began the 5 Factor Diet which I first wrote about in All Caught Up because after I stopped producing milk on February 1st, I gained 15 lbs which has remained on me even though my hormones have been back to normal since my son was a year old in April. I lost 3 pounds during the month of July because I spent the summer going on an hour walk each day, but then in August we had two weeks of humidity and so I took a break and guess what? Those three pounds returned - plus an additional 2! Ugh! Which means now I weigh more than I ever have not pregnant (the 15 had put me at two other times in my life but now it's 17, so my goal is to lose 20). A friend of mine lost 40 in three months so I bought the book on August 21st, spent the next week reading it, loved it, and so I made a menu, bought the food, and now we'll see how it goes!

Joe and I were going to start our photography class together this month, but just as I was going to hire Logan's first nighttime/weekend babysitter - he started crying when Joe or I leave! (Like, when Joe goes to work or I go to the grocery stores.) This had never happened before (as long as Joe or I was with him Logan was fine) and so I decided to hold off another month. The Discipline Book explains that things are easier and go smoother if you wait to change something until after they are done with a certain phase. Otherwise their insecurity will escalate and this will cause more problems for everyone in the future. Logan has always had pretty mild separation or stranger anxiety so I have a feeling that this will pass soon and hopefully having his first babysitter (not counting the one he goes to 8 hrs a week) will go well.

We were going to have her come over just to meet Logan and play with him, and then the next day Joe & I would go to a movie. If everything went well then Joe & I were going to take our class which means she would come over one day each week. (The movie I wanted to go to was The Time Traveler's Wife. I read the book a couple of years ago and liked it. It wasn't one of my favorites, but I liked it the same as Twilight which I wrote about in All Caught Up. So hopefully I'll be able to see it soon.) I haven't seen anything good lately. . .I'm still renting television DVDs when I get the chance. . .most recently I watched the first three seasons of 24 all during the month of August)!

Speaking of Logan's babysitter that he goes to 8 hrs a week - she said that it is good that Logan is a risk taker. In her experience the kids who aren't are the ones who actually get hurt more seriously. It's the children who've had the freedom early on who learn how to avoid serious injuries. I hope so because Logan seems to hurt himself every day. A few times he's been running on our couch and can't stop himself and so he flies over the side head first! This is awful as a mother to see. But Logan is so tough - he cries for like 10 seconds and then goes right back to what he was doing!He understands being hurt, though. One day I had a headache and I was just mumbling, not expecting Logan to answer, and I said, "Does your head ever hurt?" Logan stared at me for a moment and then began slapping his head and saying, "Owe!"

Whenever he touches something warm he says, "Hot!" So I am impressed by how he's comprehending cause & effect. He has a toy that says, "Bubblewash" and so whenever he sees the toy he points and says, "Bub-ble-sh!"

One day I asked, "Are you wet or is that sweat?" He said, "Wet!" I was caught off guard on that one, lol.

Now at 16 months old he is finally saying mama when I ask him to!!! He still hasn't said it like trying to get my attention (which he does for dadda and the dogs), but at least I know now it's coming soon :)

This past Saturday (Aug. 29th) Joe was taking a shower and Logan was playing in our bedroom. When Joe got out he heard Logan say, "Uh-oh." Then Logan walked over to him and handed Joe a handful of ibuprofen! I was like OMG! There was a bottle spilled out on our bed and I have no idea where it came from, I was so worried he'd eaten one or more but it didn't appear so, thank God! That's another good thing about being 16 months opposed to even 12 months!

I don't think I've ever mentioned here that he's always had the cutest yawn. Even back when he was 4 months old - he puts his entire self into it and makes that fake yawn sound ("ahhhhhh").

In a previous post I mentioned that he blows kisses. He'll do this at random times and it melts my heart! The other day when I picked him up from Babysitter's, I was holding him and talking to her and he was just staring at me grinning so adoringly, and then leaned in and kissed me!!!! (Can he please look at me like I'm the best forever?!)

I was sad not to get a picture of Logan with the three older girls who he loved playing with over the summer. They are all back in school now. I brought my camera two weeks before school started but they were on vacation so we never got to say goodbye. Now he's back with all boys, so here's a pic I took in mid August.Matthew & Joshua (the two boys who Logan played with on Tues & Thurs mornings when he first started, until their teacher parents were home with them in the summer) aren't returning. Matthew started kindergarten and since Joshua is 14 months old now they decided it'd be more convenient to take him to the daycare at the school they're all at since the daycare is for those older than a year. Another boy, Ryder, also started kindergarten so now there is only Henry (4), Jackson (3), Ryan (3), Abram (4), Sy (2), and Zay (1). Zay is the only one younger than Logan (by three months) - he's brothers with Abram and Sy. None of them are there every single day.

On a completely different subject I am missing the following 3 things:

1) My phone charger. Back in January I bought a new phone, a regular charger, and a car charger. I used the regular charger once in my "office" and then the next time I needed it, it was gone. I knew it was obviously in my house so I figured it would turn up by now. Nope. So every time my cell needs charged I have to take it out to my car. Losing things is my biggest pet peeve so this is really irritating.

2) Logan's diaper bag. On Sunday, August 9th Joe took Logan to the zoo, as they often do for their father-son bonding time. He had the diaper bag. I can't remember whether I used it or saw it by Wednesday the 12th when I realized it was gone. Prior to being pregnant I knew every move I made. I was so deliberate, so concious, so organized! I didn't realize that even 16 months after pregnancy our minds still aren't the same. I hate not being able to say for sure whether Joe lost it on that Sunday or whether I put it somewhere on Monday or Tuesday that I have no recollection of. But if I did, then just like my charger why haven't I found it by now? Why would I put somewhere that I never look?! If I don't find it soon then I'm going to need to buy a new one because, for example, on Friday night (August 28th) Joe and I went to Godfather's and Logan suddenly peed through his diaper. Luckily we were done with our pizza so we could just go home, but I like to always have emergency pants, diapers, wipes, towels, etc. At least I finally put a box with everything in my car which is shocking that I only now did (this was a plan of mine when Logan was a newborn).

3) My keys. On Monday, August 17th I can't remember where I was going, but as I was putting Logan in his carseat I noticed a stack of books next to him that for awhile I had been meaning to take to my half price bookstore. I decided I would do that that day (which actually turned out to not even be productive because the place I have been going for 6.5 years went out of business)! At that point I did something with my keys. Usually I throw them to the driver's seat. What I do know is that I turned around, found a sack on a shelf in our garage, put the books in there, threw some items in my house, and then was ready to leave. No keys. They weren't on my seat so I thought maybe they'd fallen off but I looked around and didn't see them. They weren't in the back with Logan, they weren't on the shelf where the sack had been, and they weren't in the doorway where I'd thrown the items I didn't need. I really didn't think it was a big deal because I'd just had them so I got my spare out of my purse and figured I'd look harder when I got home and Logan wasn't waiting for me in his carseat. However, it's been two weeks now and I'm still using my spare. Joe has looked hard, I've looked many times, and still no keys. So then I had the thought - what if I put them on top of my car and then drove away? Who knows when they would have fallen off, and that would mean I'd never get them back. On my key chain there are keys to our house, my mom's house, my dad's house, a spare key to Joe's car, our mailbox. . .ugh! :( I reported them missing to our neighborhood association, but it's the same thing with the diaper bag - if I don't find them soon then I'm going to have to get some spare keys made.

(Here Logan is plugging cords into the TV which he LOVES to do.)I'll end this post by talking about a mystery that first occured on August 18th and then again on August 23rd. Both mornings when Logan awoke for the day Joe went to get him out of his crib. The next thing I knew, Joe was beside me saying, "Andrea, come in here and look at this."

He doesn't normally wake me up so I knew something was wrong. At the time, Logan was in Joe's arms smiling like it was just a typical day. However, when I got to Logan's room and looked at the sheets in his crib they were covered in blood! I was horrified! We searched his body but there wasn't a cut or scab on him! There was no dried blood anywhere on his body, no sign at all where it had come from. . .it was scary!(We used Baby Ganics organic detergent and the sheets came out spotless. I use all of their other cleaning products as well because they are safe around children and they seem to work well.)

The theory was maybe a nosebleed but I wasn't convinced. Neither Joe nor I have ever had experience with nosebleeds - us, or anyone in our family. And, from reading online, although it is very common in children (especially during the night), it most often happens in the winter because of the dry air. August in the Midwest is about as far from winter as you can get. I decided that if it happens a third time I will immediately take him to his pediatrician. It's hardly ever serious, but it could also be a broken blood vessel in his nose (which can easily occur since they are so small in toddlers), allergies, or a medical problem. Or even part of his virus that he ended up coming down with (except, then why when his nose ran was it was a normal color?)

Knock on wood, it hasn't happened since, and I'm starting to lean away from the nosebleed theory (also because I have never seen it happen during the day). Instead, I think the blood may have come from his ear. The day after the second time this happened I noticed he did have a few scratches in his ear. I'm wondering if his ear had hurt a little prior to his cold, and he'd scratched it enough to bleed. The only ear infection he's ever had was at 8.5 months old, but I know when I'm sick I usually have more than just a cough or runny nose, so maybe he had a brief and mild ear ache. Crazy stuff!