It's Meme Monday! Sorry I've been out of touch - something is wrong with our computer so I'm hoping Hubby can fix it tonight and then I can get back into blog hopping ASAP!
There are no random acts...We are all connected...You can no more separate one life from another than you can separate a breeze from the wind...
---(The Five People You Meet In Heaven)

Over the past 16 months that I've had this site, it has made my day to receive several awards. I have truly become friends with bloggers who I have never met in person. I was recently reminded of the book/movie by Mitch Albom: The Five People You Meet In Heaven (if you haven't read/watched it yet, I recommend you do)! I decided to create my own award using the "five you meet in heaven" idea for bloggers who I may not ever meet on earth, but maybe in another place I will! :)

I've limited myself by the number 5, though - I have many more terrific blogger friends, so if you read this post, you can still grab the award and pass it on!!!! The five I chose are because:

Jacris from Mom's Special Diary - She has given me the most awards which means I hardly ever get to return the favor!!! But she is very deserving - not only is she a great blogger but she is a great woman and mother of two girls.

Angela from Our Little Bitty Family - My blog clone! :) We have so many similarities - especially as moms to our sons (born a month apart)! I love seeing all of her cute pictures and reading about her life. I can tell if we lived nearer to each other we would be close friends!

Cascia from Healthy Moms - When I first discovered her site last year I knew I'd found a great source for the topics I research and write about. It was a bonus to be featured as her spotlight blog last November! A few months ago she had her 4th child and her blog was the only source of her family's income (you can read more here) so if you haven't checked out her blog yet, please do and subscribe!

Chris from The Mommy Journey - She is the creator of the terrific meme, Mommy Moments. It was an honor when she featured me as her guest blogger this past August. Keep up the great work, Chris!

Yikes, am I already on #5?! I decided it should be someone I've never given an award to before (you can go to my awards page to see if you've ever been given an award that you missed) - this blogger I actually HAVE met in person (we used to work together at the local radio station), but she just started blogging this month so I'm proud to be her first tag: Mama Brooke!

The rules are easy for passing on this award:

1) Attach the award to your blog post

2) Copy and paste the famous quote from The Five People You Meet In Heaven somewhere in the post

3) Please identify me as the creator of the award (Andrea from Memories As A Mom), and link to the person who sent it to you.

4) Send this to five of your blogger friends to show your appreciation!

HAVE A GREAT DAY!

Now that reality has set in that my male maltipoo developed cancer before he even turned 4 years old (read my previous post Cosmo's Update), I've been doing some research about Petland (where we bought him) and I'm horrified. If I had known then what I know now, I never would have stepped foot in their building. Of course I don't regret buying Cosmo because he has been such a joy for our family. But, I will never buy from Petland again because it is clear to me that his cancer is a result from being born in a puppy mill.

I know it's hard to believe that I - the girl who loves to research - didn't research Petland BEFORE we bought Cosmo. But, if you've read my blog The End Of Summer) then you know that it was a spur of the moment decision not only to walk into Petland on February 3, 2006, but to even buy a dog.

We had a girl maltipoo at home - we had bought her from a breeder the year before. For the six months leading up to buying her - my first dog ever - I did a TON of research about what kind of dog to get and what I needed to know once I chose the maltipoo, plus everything else you can imagine.

Of course one of the first things I read/heard was never buy from a pet store. So I didn't even consider it. During those six months I only researched breeders. (Of course, adopting from a shelter is the best, but because I'd never had a pet in my life I was worried I'd have a harder time with a dog that came with an unknown background.)

I was very pleased with the breeder we selected, and the time and energy it took to do my research paid off - Bella has always been strong and healthy since we bought her in March 2005. We thought if we ever wanted another dog we would definitely buy from the same breeder.

However, we let our hearts take over when we went to Petland "for fun" one night a year later. We were told the male maltipoo we had our eye on was healthy and we were given pamphlet after pamphlet that stated they were not a typical pet store. They did not use puppy mills, but were registered with the American Kennel Club. They insisted they had very high standards and worked closely with an animal hospital to promise the dogs were in top health and were well taken care of.

Blah-blah-blah. . .we bought the dog for $750 which was three hundred dollars more than what we paid for Bella (we talked ourselves into it because he came with a microchip and they paid for neutering and initial shots). (Here's a picture of Cosmo 3/1/06 - you can see he was kind of scruffy but you can also see why we fell in love with him!)When we took our new dog - Cosmo - to our vet, she informed us that he had a non-descending testicle, patella luxation (loose knee caps), and hip dysplasia. Since we weren't planning to breed him, we weren't bothered by the testicle. For his patella and hips, they weren't expected to be a problem until he was elderly, and we were told there was a surgery we could do if necessary. So even though it wasn't a perfect appointment like Bella's had always been, we didn't take those as red flags.

Now I've learned those are common problems of dogs that are born in puppy mills. He was also more fragile-acting than Bella, more timid and calm, but we thought that was just his personality. He got car sick a lot his first year (threw up every time we were in the car) and also sometimes had diarrhea and threw up after eating, so we switched his food a few times and found that Science Diet Sensitive Stomach is what worked best for both of our dogs.

In December 2006 Cosmo was truly sick, though, so we took him to the vet for "an unknown" illness. We were told maybe he just had the flu. After that, he had this "unknown illness" a few more times - so we would take him to the vet because he was acting weird or crying or vomiting and having diarrhea and they would take blood tests, and once they took an x-ray, but couldn't find anything wrong. Not long after we'd return home he'd seem normal again, so after that we often didn't even take him in when those things happened. He had dental surgery during the summer of 2009 because his teeth went bad, but otherwise that was it for vet visits (aside from his vaccines). (Here he is 4/8/07)During the summer of 2007, Cosmo began barking and also getting aggressive towards other dogs. Bella followed this behavior somewhat, so I'm not sure whether this was environmental or whether since dogs from puppy mills are statistically like this, that was the reason and Bella just copied. But although at one time he'd been my easier dog, he became harder to control and obey than Bella.

When my son, Logan, was born in April 2008, Cosmo was happier than ever. He'd always been playful and puppy-like, but now he took on the role of "big brother." He loved Logan from the start and was so excited once Logan was mobile. They began playing together and kissing each other non-stop. . .to this day when Logan makes a noise that he's ready to get up from his nap, Cosmo RACES to his door and starts pawing at it. Logan and Cosmo are best buds.

But in October 2009, I was taking a walk with Cosmo, Bella, and Logan and two little girls came over to pet my dogs as they often did. This time, though, Cosmo growled, jumped, and bit one of the girls on the finger (pulling the skin back). Although Bella (my more dominant) dog had bit Logan and me twice in her life, Cosmo had never bit anyone before. I was so horrified, I made an appt. with a dog expert for both of my dogs, but first wanted to take Cosmo to the vet because he had a grape-sized lump on his chest. He'd had a bump earlier in the summer that I'd taken him in for immediately - but it wasn't anything. . .the vet shaved the area and it went away. So for this one I waited a couple of months until November 3rd. Sadly, it was malignant. A week later (November 11th) he had surgery to remove the tumor. A week after that (November 18) we learned he has stage 2 cancer which means at some point it will turn into stage 3 or 4 which means at that point he will have to be put to sleep.(Here he is 8/11/07 lying on Joe's Bible)He just turned four years old on Halloween so we were devastated to think he could die so young (the typical maltipoo lives 15 to even 20 years). But our vet removed more than just the tumor so we are hoping that it hasn't spread and will be awhile before it comes back.

Yes, all pets will die at some point and all animals, no matter where they are from, can develop health problems like cancer - but now that I've finally researched Petland I've come to learn that my story is very common. Too common to be a coincidence. The truth is Petland DOES get their animals from puppy mills, and so I'm afraid my poor little Cozzy didn't ever have a chance. No animal bought there will be in top health.

We've already spent more money than what we had expected on Cosmo's health, and although we aren't going to do chemotherapy, who knows how much more money we are going to spend due to his cancer or other issues that may come up.

Unfortunately, we allowed Petland to stay in business by purchasing from them 3.5 years ago, so they continue to sell non-quality-bred dogs and make money from customers who love animals so much they quickly grow attached and then spend even more money once they get home to try to save their new animal. (This is Cosmo on his second birthday, Halloween 2007)Don't be fooled. Petland IS a typical pet store. Their contract with the American Kennel club was annulled. There have been countless investigations, countless lawsuits, proving how awful they are. Google it for yourself - you'll be disgusted at the thousands of websites giving examples of their cruelty to animals.

For me, a person who has donated for years to the ASPCA (American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals) - this breaks my heart that Petland is still in business. They are NOT animal lovers. I will never walk into Petland again. I am joining the national boycott and I hope you will, too.

Aside from today I will only be posting one other day this week (Wednesday) so I wanted to wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving now! Sorry my blogs haven't followed a pattern the past week: I posted twice last Wed. and not on Thurs or Fri but now am this weekend. Cosmo's news just took front and center. So rather than getting back into the daily posting/memes last Tuesday as planned, it will be next Monday, November 30.

For today I wanted to give an update on Logan since he turned 19 Months Old last Wednesday! :)

Let's see. . .he can truly count to three! In my post written on October 21, Today's Agenda: Shoppin' I mentioned that Logan was saying "Tee, Tee, Tee" before sliding down his slide (because we always said "one, two, three" when we used to slide him down). Well last week he started saying, "One, tee, tee" on his own before doing many things - one time it was running across the room, one time it was throwing a ball, another time it was driving his car, etc. So I picked out three of his toys and was counting them in threes and after watching me for a minute he did the same thing (even though he's not saying the "th" or the "wo").

Another cute thing was the other day he found his Mickey Mouse bucket that he went trick-or-treating with. Aside from Halloween there was just one other day that I gave him candy from that night (he found his Skiddles one day), otherwise Joe and I ate it all, LOL. His face lit up and he ran to the door and pointed outside, talking jibberish, very animatedly to me. I could tell he was remembering going trick-or-treating and was telling me about it. :)

It's funny that some days I'll have his full attention and I will talk about something (I'll say more than just a sentence to him) and he stares at me for a moment and then says, "What?"

Last week he started saying "mine" to things. . .right now it's cute (he's not bratty about it) but I've heard that gets old fast, haha.

I've been giving him choices lately and when he makes his decision he always points and says, "That one!"

On Friday I was giving Bella a bath by myself and Logan ran off. When I found him, I saw that he had gone to the kitchen, grabbed himself a bowl and pored himself some puffs! He was sitting there smiling and eating. I had to laugh.

Lately when I've been vaccuming, I'll tell him that I'm going to vaccum and he runs to his playhouse and then gives me the okay to turn it on (he must feel safe in there, haha).

Speaking of his playhouse, he has been playing "make believe" (using his imagination) which is so entertaining! On the side of the house there is a little table with pictures of food and when he sits on the little chair next to it he pretends he's eating! :)For our week, Logan went to Babysitter's Tuesday & Thursday morning as usual, however I've decided that starting December 16 he's going to go just on Wednesdays (so rather than two 4 hr days, 1 full 8 hr day). After taking two naps there and having no problem, and also the last couple of times when I've picked him up he has cried and wanted me to take him back in, he's given me signs that it's time for a change! When he first started going at 11 months old, a full day seemed too much right away, plus Tuesdays & Thursday mornings worked best with my babysitter's schedule. But Logan has been going for 8 months and now my babysitter's busiest days are Tuesdays & Thursdays. So with Wednesday being the middle of the week, that seems like the best day for me to have a break and get more done (since in the morning I spend an hour getting ready and another hour eating breakfast and lunch)!

Here he is hugging and kissing Cosmo:On Wednesday I found my wedding ring so I was very relieved about that (I mentioned in my post Kicked Our Colds that I lost it for about two weeks)!

On Friday the weather was great so I took an hour walk with Logan which was very nice. Whenever he sees Thanksgiving decorations he shivers and says, "Oohhh" like he did with Halloween decorations, haha! Joe said when pretty soon he sees Christmas lights he's going to think they're supposed to be scary, lol.

I've been using my Sephora foundation for a month now (I mentioned I started using it in my post, This & That) and am loving it. I've finally found the perfect skincare line for me!

I was sad to say goodbye to Logan on Saturday morning but we decided that since my friend Sarah was going to be visiting from Seattle, he would stay with his grandparents in Iowa again until Wednesday since he loves it so much and that way I could have a distraction/interruption-free time with Sarah. (Until now the longest we'd spent apart was 96 hrs. This time it will be around 101!) So we met my mom & stepdad half-way at 9:30 am and then Sarah's flight got in at 3:54 pm. I had spent the week cleaning & sterilizing our house from being sick the previous week, so after we picked her up and went to a new pizza place, The Pizza Gourmet Co. (it was okay but not anything great), we spent the rest of the night hanging out, having girl talk, and drinking wine.

Today (Sunday) she and I went to the grocery store and bought ingredients for beefy cheese dip and buffalo chicken cheese dip and enjoyed them with chips while watching football with Joe all day & evening. I also made double chocolate chip cookies for dessert!In my post, Our Weekend, I wrote about my college best friend, Christy. I thought I'd conclude today's post by doing the same thing about my junior high/high school best friend, Sarah.

Sarah and I met on August 19, 1992. We were twelve years old, I was a brunette with straight hair and dark brown eyes and Sarah was a blonde with curly hair and blue eyes. She was bubbly and outgoing, I was described as "sweet." (Here we are in 1994)I had been praying for a best friend. The friends I'd had since moving to my small town in 1988 lived across town or in the country, and so outside of school it was hard to ever get together. Also, I felt we were growing apart. In the small town where I lived, groups did not change or mingle. I refuse to ever live in a small town again because I admit I have a tainted view after my experience. Most people were born there, their parents were born there, their grandparents were born there. Most of my classmates still live there. I hated the idea that people were put in certain roles and never allowed "out." Of course I tried, by joining every activity that supposedly contradicted the next. So ultimately I was my own person in that town, never feeling like it was home or that I really belonged there. As soon as I graduated I was OUT. My stepdad transferred the same month I finished high school, and so I actually haven't been back (other than to drive through to show Joe) in 11.5 years. I've kept in touch with two friends from there, but that is it - not including Sarah, who moved away in 1995.

So anyway, during the summer of 1992 Sarah moved into the house behind mine and it was a prayer answered. Not only did she live close enough that we could run to each other's house in one minute (and carpool to and from school together) - but we felt like we'd known each other our entire lives. We were instant best friends. We were inseparable for the entire three years she lived there. (Here we are in 2002)Junior high was the worst years of our lives - we may not have made it through had it not been for each other. I will share my story here someday. I'm getting closer to being ready. But not today.

I will say, though, that when you go through the hardest time of your life, when you go through experiences that change you, break you, experiences that many people may never fully understand or be able to identify with - you are bonded to that person for life. That is what happened with Sarah and me. We do have a ton in common, but we also have so many differences that people often seem surprised that we would be such close, strong, true, life-long friends. Maybe it is a soul thing, or maybe it is because of those three years we spent "coming of age together". . .maybe both. Whatever it is - there is no one who gets me more without me saying a word than Sarah. There is no one I've lived such a parallel life with, despite having opposite lives (she is a single, career woman [Commercial Credit Analysis] who lives in Seattle).

We've had ups and downs over the past 17 years, but I have no doubt we will still be best friends when we are 80 years old. We can talk about anything and everything. We can share our deepest secrets, our mistakes, and know that we will not be judged. We've seen that we can live in different towns for high school and college (she went to The University of Northern Iowa and double majored in Finance & Marketing while I went to Iowa State University and majoried in Journalism & Mass Communication with a minor in English), and live across the country from each other as adults (I moved to Nebraska in 2003, she moved to Seattle in 2004), and still remain close!

I'll end with pictures of her sharing the two biggest moments of my life (my wedding and birth of my son)!

2002-We were engaged the same year! (But she broke her's off six months later)My Bridal Shower-2003My Bachelorette Party-2003My Wedding Rehersal-2003Before Make-UpAfter Make-UpReady For My Wedding (she was my maid of honor, of course)! 4/26/03Meeting Logan! One Month Old, May 2008AGAIN, HAVE A HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!

Logan has started noticing candy machines when we go to places that have them! It was cute last Monday when we went to The Summer Kitchen cafe, he pointed to the gumball machines and said, "ball!"

I remember that when I was growing up I loved vending machines, too, and wanted my own. Sam's Club is a great place to buy gumball machines, vending machines, candy machines, toy machines, and multi vending machines.

With the holidays just around the corner, toy machines make great gifts. Shipping from Sam's Club is often included so you can't beat that! I would enjoy multi vending machines now for guests when they come over. . .and I can tell Logan would like one for himself, haha!

We heard the results about Cosmo (this pic was taken 3/9/07). My vet called at noon today (for my other two posts about this subject click here and here). . .my prediction was right - it is stage 2. Apparently this is the most confusing stage of cancer. The good news is that it's not stage 3 or 4 which are death sentences for a maltipoo - if that had been the case, he would only have 4 months to live if we didn't do chemotherapy (which we have decided we just can't put our 10 lb already-fragile-acting dog through). However, the bad news is it's not stage 1. If it was, they wouldn't do anything else from this point (other than watch to make sure another tumor doesn't show up). He could live a long life without any further problems.

But because it is a stage 2, that means this is not the end. She said that she went farther than just removing the tumor - she removed 2 cm around it which helps prevent the spread. The good news is that when the pathologist reviewed Cosmo's slides they said that to the sides it was 0 which indicated it hadn't spread. However, in the deep tissues it was a milimeter. She said thankfully that is an incredibly small amount, however she doesn't like to see ANY. Because it was a milimeter that means the cells are rapidly dividing and it can quickly change to a stage 3 or 4. There's another surgery we can do to try and prevent this, however I stopped taking notes about it because that's when I started crying - it sounded so incredibly awful - both the invasive procedure and Cosmo's life afterwards. . .so basically our only option is to just wait. (This pic was taken 6/7/07)We wait until there is another tumor, which because it is stage 2 means there will be another one - we just don't know when. At the first sign we bring him in ASAP. At best, Stage 2 dogs can live up to 5 more years which would make him 9 - that is average for many dogs (although maltipoos have a life expectancy of 15-20). At worst, he'll develop another tumor within the year that is stage 3 or 4 which will give him roughly 4 months from that point.

Right now he is doing excellent, but I still hugged him and sobbed when I got off the phone with my vet. I know it could have been worse as a stage 3 or 4 right now, but I didn't realize that stage 2 essentially means that at some point it will become a stage 3 or 4.

Ugh, there is just no way to make this easy. (This pic was taken 9/29/06) What's worse: coming home and being the one to find your pet dead or taking them to the vet to put them to sleep? No thanks on either one. What's worse: Having it drag out (like this) or having it happen abruptly (like what happened to my friend Sarah 1.5 years ago when she visited me and found out her dog died while she was gone)? I guess I do better with things when I'm prepared, so maybe the way it's happening is the best way for us with the inevitable. (Although I hope he doesn't experience sickness and pain.)

We have an appt. on Monday to get his stiches out. . .his inscision looks so much better than when we brought him home exactly a week ago. Right now Cosmo is happy and doesn't act sick or in pain, so we'll take it day by day.

Last week when we picked Logan up from my mom's, she gave me her pregnancy book that was written in 1979! I remember looking at it when I was a child. . .I guess I was fascinated by pregnancy even back then :) But, when my parents moved the summer after I graduated high school, it got packed away in a box until now.

I began flipping through it last Friday and it was funny to see what things have changed in 30 years.

For example, breastfeeding. The book says: Some doctors and nurses openly or tacitly discourage women from breast-feeding. . .The American Academy Of Pediatrics says "Normal growth and development are possible with out it."

These days, all doctors and nurses encourage breastfeeding, and The American Academy Of Pediatrics' statement today advocating breastfeeding is so long I'll just give the link HERE rather than post it all.

For food to eat, the book actually recommended shell fish for protein! (Today that is off limits.) Also, an example meal plan has tuna fish for lunch (also not recommended nowadays for pregnant women). The only "don'ts" back then were junkfood.

For "once the baby is here," no surprise, they recommend putting the baby on their stomach to sleep with a couple of blankets.

Overall, the book is extremely good (it's 264 pages) and could still be used today (for example, it says wait until a child is year old for egg white and citrus which is still the case).

On a more serious subject (and the reason for this post's title), instead of a meme today I wanted to post about a rare illness I learned of when I scrapbooked at my friend Jenn's on Nov. 3rd. One of the women there told us about her sister-in-law, and the rest of us sat there with our mouths touching the ground. We were all horrified to learn that when her brother's wife was two weeks post partum she was driving a car with her mom and started to feel dizzy. So she pulled over and her mom started driving - and at that point she began having a seizure! She was having one after another by the time the paramedics got there and they didn't know if she would make it. She went into a coma, was on life support, and doctors thought with the small possibly of waking up, she would have brain damage.

Her husband was beside himself (the paramedics had come to his door as he was holding his two week old baby to tell him the news - just minutes after he'd told his wife goodbye and she was feeling fine). His wife had zero problems during pregnancy or labor, it had been a very easy nine months. . .but once she was in the hospital they discovered she had a condition called eclampsia.

Most of us have heard of preeclampsia which is dangerous during pregnancy (when a woman's blood pressure is too high - I covered it in a paragraph when I was pregnant in my post Second & Third Trimester Pregnancy Signs) but apparently there is something called eclampsia - when a woman's blood pressure spikes AFTER she has her baby. There is currently no way to prevent preeclampsia or eclampsia. She didn't have preeclampsia so it never would have crossed her mind that she could develop ecalmpsia. She also had no symptoms that would have led her to be concerned that something was wrong.

Thankfully, this story has a happy ending. After a couple of weeks, she beat the odds and not only was taken off life support and awoke from her coma - but she has normal brain function. She was monitored for awhile in the hospital and then released. She is not out of the woods yet, though. She has daily doctor's visits and is on medication so it does not return.

According to Health On, "Usually the seizures start before the baby is born. However, about 20% to 25% of the time, seizures begin within the first 24 hours after the baby is born. A few women develop seizures later, up to 3 weeks after the birth."

Factors that increase a woman's risk of preeclampsia are:

•a first pregnancy
•African American ethnicity
•diabetes
•high blood pressure before pregnancy
•low socioeconomic status
•maternal age below 20 or over 35
•molar pregnancy, an abnormal condition that mimics a normal pregnancy but is actually a tumor
•multiple gestation such as twins or triplets
•preeclampsia or eclampsia in previous pregnancies
•she or the baby's father was born of a pregnancy with preeclampsia or eclampsia
•underlying kidney disease

Theories about why seizures might occur:

•small clots that block blood vessels in the brain and restrict oxygen
•narrowing of tiny arteries in the brain
•areas of bleeding in the brain
•high blood pressure
•dietary risks
•genetic risks
•a problem with the brain or nervous system

Usually there are no clues or warning signs before a seizure. A woman with eclampsia may have one or many seizures. The seizures cause muscle spasms, loss of consciousness, and short-term memory problems. A fever at this point is a sign of serious trouble.

•Approximately 5-7% of all pregnancies are complicated by preeclampsia and less than one in 100 women with preeclampsia will develop eclampsia or (convulsions or seizures) or coma.

•Up to 20% of all pregnancies are complicated by high blood pressure. Complications resulting from high blood pressure, preeclampsia, and eclampsia may account for up to 20% of all deaths that occur in pregnant women.

I'm sorry to write such a scary post, but all of us at Jenn's that day were so stunned we'd never heard of this before. Just another reason why it's so important to have good prenatal care. If you have any family history of preeclampsia then it is important to make sure your doctor keeps a close monitor on your blood pressure throughout your pregnancy and for any signs that you may develop eclampsia afterward. The biggest cause is genetics (and was in this woman's case as well). Thank God she is all right!

Okay I'm back to participating in memes! Today is The UnMom's Random Thoughts Tuesday! Still no news about Cosmo. :( Hopefully today (Tuesday) we'll hear back from the vet about his surgery last Wednesday.

Yesterday (Monday) at 10 am Logan & I met Brooke at The Summer Kitchen Cafe where I hadn't eaten in about six months, so I enjoyed my favorite item there - the best tuna fish sandwich ever. Of course the best part was the company of Brooke and almost-7 month old Kaelyn! :) By the way, Brooke has started blogging! I'm happy because I wish EVERYONE I knew had a blog! :) Check her out at Mama Brooke.

The Summer Kitchen Cafe is the first restaurant we've been to that actually has a healthy kid's menu. Have you ever noticed how it's pretty much the same choices everywhere? Fried chicken fingers, corn dogs or hot dogs, hamburgers, grilled cheese or macaroni and cheese. We usually get the mac & cheese but we've tried all of the other options each once - they were all a waste since Logan is not a meat eater. But at this restaurant I had the option of a fruit bowl with toast. He loved it! It was nice to have a relaxing meal with him for the first time in over a week! (I should mention there is one thing he hasn't ever refused since becoming picky and that's milk - he would still drink milk all day if he could!)

He ate almost all of his meal and what he didn't, he had later at home for his snack. I realized that he's weaning himself from my food the same way he weaned himself from his pacifier at 3/4 months, breastfeeding at 9 months, his baby food and bottles at 11/12 months - only this time there is no "next," LOL!!! We just need more variety, as I mentioned in yesterday's post We Kicked Our Colds when I mentioned two popular toddler cookbooks.

Our time went fast since usually we do something else for our "stay at home mom" days, but since I was sick all last week, my house is a disaster. I need to get it cleaned (and sterilized after our virus') by this Saturday because my friend Sarah from Seattle is flying in and staying with me until Wednesday (then she will celebrate Thanksgiving with her family until she flies out of Omaha the following Sunday morning at 5 am).

After Logan & I told Brooke & Kaelyn goodbye, we stopped at the library to return a couple of books. I decided since Logan didn't seem ready for his nap yet we might as well go to the children's area. There was a woman named Angela there with her two year old daughter named Jewel. She was super nice and started talking to me right away, telling me she'd just moved here two months ago because her husband is in the military and she recently joined a mom's group and has been getting together with one of the other stay at home moms each week and was wondering if I wanted to join them! I said "sure," so she gave me her number and I did the same.

She is expecting baby #2 (a boy) in three months. She's originally from Oklahoma but moved here from Virgina Beach. She told me that she and the other mom (Liz) are going to be at the library's story time today. Tuesdays are the mornings when Logan goes to Babysitter's, though. :(

Logan took his nap yesterday from 1-3:30 and then played (while I started on my cleaning) until Joe came home at 6:30. It's really cute when Joe comes home - Logan does "a happy dance." :) Logan still whines the whole time Joe watches him, though, which I had mentiond awhile ago. Hopefully that will change soon, otherwise I'm worried about them getting along in the future! :(

Along the same lines of what I said in yesterday's post about how come my husband can never seem to change Logan's clothes, he also doesn't seem to know how to get ready in the morning AND Logan. So my Tues & Thurs mornings can never be used for sleeping in, but yet if I need to go somewhere I still get Logan ready at the same time :p

For the past couple of months whenever it's time to eat, Logan goes and gets a bowl and gets himself all ready to eat on his own.

The cutest thing yesterday, though, was when he was playing with his shopping cart (he likes anything he can push around) and it said, "Yummy food!" Logan said, "MMMMM." And then the shopping cart said "MMMMM." He kept doing this before every noise the shopping cart makes - every time there was a pause he knew what was going to come next!

The month of October I was sentimental like when he was 3 months & 10 months old - where I'd get all teary-eyed (in a good way) thinking about my little guy from the moment I became pregnant until now and feeling. . .I don't even know, what IS that emotion when you're not sad that your baby is growing up (because that's a good thing) but you also worry some day you're going to look back and BE sad that these exact days are over?

Okay. . .now I'm getting teary-eyed again! Needless to say, I had to restrain myself from going in his room and scooping him out of his crib like I did when he was 10 months just so I could hold him. Nowadays he would wake up if I did that and be very mad at me :p It's weird, because even though I loved months 3 & 10 (they were on my list of easier months), I remember that months 11, 13, and 15 were the months I claimed were "the best" and wanted to just freeze in time. So I think 3, 10, & 18 have to do more with me than Logan! Some months my heart just decides to cry. I feel more normal as of November (LOL), although yesterday Logan kept coming over to hug me which definitely made my heart mush and, like every day, wanting to hold on to these memories forever.

Logan and I are both 100% recovered - yeay! I think we both just had colds. Mine was the worst on Thursday (the day after I last posted). It was in my head, eyes, ears, throat, and chest. I was glad Logan had gone to his babysitter's that morning. For the past eight months 4 hrs, two days a week has been perfect for the both of us. 8 hrs a week is enough time for Logan to play with other kids and toys, and enough time for me to do something on my own.

November 12th, however, I couldn't even drag myself to the shower. I recalled the day in September when I'd had to take Logan to his sitter's in the afternoon rather than the morning (because I'd had an appt.) and he'd napped perfectly. So I called Babysitter and asked if I could wait to pick him up until 4:30 and she said that'd be no problem.

Logan did excellent his first full day there! He napped great, ate great, played great - and still wasn't ready to leave when I picked him up! Usually if I wave and act like I'm leaving he'll come with me, but that day he didn't - he just waved back, haha! So it's nice to know I have that option for the future if I ever need a full day again (which I probably will when I get pregnant with baby #2).

Thankfully, Logan was back to his easier self that evening and has been since (which was good since Joe met his friends at a sportsbar after work to watch the Bears game and I went to bed at 8 again, although then I woke up at 11 and couldn't go back to sleep until 1 because I felt miserable). That day was also Veteran's Day and my dad's birthday.

On Friday I was still sick so we didn't do anything except that I gave Logan his first bath all by myself! Yes, that's right, he turns 19 months old on Wednesday and I've never had the guts to do it alone! Partly because his first two months he hated it, as well as when he was 13 to 17 months. But for the past almost two months it's been going well again, which means hopefully I can do it many more times in the future!

I was sad to have to cancel "stay at home mom day" with Brooke that week due to being sick, but we are getting together today. I also was bummed not to be able to go to Riley's first birthday party on Saturday, but Joe took Logan and had fun there, as always. (She's my friend Lisa's youngest daughter, her other daughter Lexi will be three in January.) It made my day to read an e-mail from Lisa afterwards, saying that Logan did amazing and was very well-behaved. Apparently, he really liked one of their toys (of course it contained balls) so we are going to get him the Playskool Explore 'N Grow Busy Ball Popper for Christmas!On Sunday I was going to try to return to the land of the living - we had planned to get together with Matt, Stacy, and Jaxson to see The Children's Museum for the first time, but they are waiting for the mercury-free H1N1 vaccine, too (out the day after TG), and thought the museum might be H1N1-city. Stacy thought Jax might be sick already, so instead just she and I got together and went shopping and had a great time. (As a sidenote, why is it that when Joe watches Logan, Logan is always wearing the same clothes in the evening as the night before? :p)

I'm finally almost finished decorating our family room so then all that will be left of our main floor is the office. I'm not going to succeed with my new year's resolution of completing our main floor by the end of the year, though. Oh well, at least the house looks a lot better than it did at the beginning of 2009!

This is not cool: I have been missing my wedding ring for over a week. The day we were leaving for Chicago I couldn't find it but I assumed when we got home and I had more time to look I would find it. After all, I never take it off in public so it HAS to be in our house. Also, I was 20 lbs thinner when Joe bought it for me 7 years ago so it definitely can't fall off. I had it on Thurs. the 5th but not Fri. the 6th. It's one thing to lose my phone charger and Logan's diaper bag (the other two things I've mentioned on this blog before that I've lost the past year) but my wedding ring?!?! I will be really sad if it doesn't turn up ASAP.

I keep forgetting to mention that during Logan's 17th month he learned how to lock doors! He's been able to reach door knobs and turn them for several months but hasn't actually mastered opening them yet (thank goodness - then we'll need to bring out the safety knobs). But one day when Joe was in our backyard, Logan was watching him from the sliding glass door. I was doing something else until I heard Joe knocking on the door and pretending to look mad. Logan was laughing - he had locked Daddy out! Then a few days later he did it again when Joe ran outside to get Cosmo who was barking. Logan totally knew what he was doing and found it very humorous. I was glad to be reminded to not shut the door behind me, because sometimes I run outside to get Cosmo as well, and being locked out wouldn't be good on a day when I'm home by myself! (Although I guess we have our security system that could let me in on the other side of my house, but still--the little stinker!)

I hope we hear results about Cosmo today. Every time Logan notices Cosmo's incision w/ stitches his face gets concerned and he says, "Owie." (He even got down on his hands and knees to look under Cosmo over the weekend, LOL.)

I just don't think it could possibly be stage 3 or 4. . .my prediction is stage 2. Cosmo went off his pain meds on Friday and has been full of energy, happy, and shows no sign of anything wrong with him.

I got a taste of what it would be like without him last Wednesday when he was at the vet's all day and it was sad. I thought with Bella and Logan it wouldn't be so obvious that Cosmo was gone for 11 hrs, but it was amazing to see what a role he plays in our family. Bella acted super different (I never thought she was dependent on him, but Bella - usually my stronger, more confident, and secure dog suddenly acted very weak and like a part of her was missing! She was glued to my side all day - as in, not a second of space)! Logan, meanwhile, was all over her! Since he usually plays with Cosmo and kisses Cosmo all day, he directed all of that energy toward Bella, but she's never going to be best buds with Logan like Cosmo is :(

On a brighter subject. . .a cute thing that Logan started doing around 17.5 months old was when he's looking for something he puts his hands up and out as if to say "where?" He also does this when I tell him he can have "one more piece of food" (as in "all gone").

He's been making appropriate noises when playing with toys and household items! For example, he picked up my blow dryer the other day and pretended to blow dry his hair as he was saying "brrrrruuuummmm!"

A not so cute thing is that over the past couple of weeks he has been putting things around his neck. This sets off major panic mode in me - because it's always things that could strangle him if I wasn't watching and I've heard too many stories of toddlers accidentally strangling themselves. I really hope he understands soon that this is a big no-no.

So, um, how long does the whole picky food phase last? Logan won't eat anything I offer him - even his favorite now (macaroni & cheese)!!!! He only wants what he decides at the time, but typically it's the same thing all day long! For example, he'll ask for a piece of bread which is fine except that it's not healthy to eat only bread and nothing else the rest of the day! Same thing with fruit - some day's he'll want a banana for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and nothing else. Constipation anyone? :p

Since I only allow him to eat one of the same food a day, he's hardly had any food the past week. I never thought this was going to happen - Logan has loved ALL food for 18 months (as you can tell by looking at him, haha). We never had any problems getting him to eat his first cereal or veggies or fruits like is common. The closest thing has been meat, but sometimes he'll eat it if it's mixed with other things. These days he's not even eating Cheerios (another favorite)! But Stacy said that her pediatrician said now our boys don't need as much as they always have before, so I'm not worried he'll starve. . .the problem is it is exhausting trying to find something we can both agree on!

I googled this issue and was relieved to find out I am not alone. It is very typical for mothers of this age group to exhaust themselves. Also, boys are statistically more picky than girls. According to The Cookbook For Finicky Toddlers, "Jumping up and down like a jack-in-the-box is counterproductive. Why not let your children listen to their own appetite? Parents just need simple ideas that are not intimidating. A child served a variety of foods tends to be a better eater."

I've blogged before about how I am not a cook. Unfortunately, this is causing me problems now with Logan because I admit I've stuck to the easy stuff the past several months since he's never been picky before. But now he's bored. If I start introducing new meals to him I think he will be more excited to try them and probably like them. So I am looking for a toddler cookbook, please let me know if anyone has any suggestions. I saw that the top two are: Organic Baby & Toddler Cookbook by Lizzie Vann and Daphne Razazan, and The Toddler Cookbook by Annabel Karmel.One day I saw Logan throwing little brown pieces and saying, "uck! uck!" I ran over to him and saw that he'd found dog poop! So far we've never had any episodes of him throwing or smearing his own poop which I've heard is common, lol.

Unfortunately, since he's been back from the grandparents' the past week he has not gone poop in his toilet which means he hasn't been using it all (he started potty training himself on his own at 16.5 months old and went #2 in his toddler toilet every day the month of October). (Although he did pick up the plunger on Sat. and began plunging his toilet which was hilarious.) I knew the whole "potty-training on his own" thing was too good to be true. I guess I'll be asking for a book for Christmas to learn how to truly teach him. Does anyone have any book recommendations for that, too? I know Cascia over at Healthy Moms has written an E-Book called Healthy Moms Guide To Potty-Training that I plan to check out!

In October I mentioned that I took my car to the shop because my locks, windows, trunk, and horn stopped working. Twenty-four hours later they figured out the problem and they were able to order the necessary part. The diagnosis? There was a glitch in the circuit for my left back door that was messing up the rest of my car!

It's hard to have car problems, especially for people like me whose life revolves around my vehicle because it's my only source of transportation. I don't live in an area with taxis or buses or the subway, and with winter approaching in Omaha, it's too cold to walk or ride a bike. Plus, with a son who turns 19 months old this week, I don't have time for car problems! :p

So, it's nice to know there is RepairPal.com You can use it to Find A Shop in your area - for example, if you're looking for Dallas Auto Repair, you'll learn of the top rated auto repair shops and mechanics. Or, get an Estimate for a service or repair on your car. For Car Info such as a Chevrolet Silverado you can see ratings and reviews. You can also manage your Car and maintenance online. . .and there's even an Encyclopedia to look up anything else you need to know - such as, brake job!

As much as I'd like to hope that I'll never have another car problem, I know that's not realistic. But the experience doesn't have to be hard or stressful or time-consuming when so much information can be right at my fingertips on RepairPal.com!

Thank you to everyone who has given me encouragement since my post, Poor Pup.

Cosmo wasn't released until 6:30 pm tonight. Since he wasn't ready to be picked up until the clinic closed, our vet had already left so I know nothing about the surgery or how it went. :( Joe picked up Cosmo on his way home from work and they told him that the results will be in the early part of next week.

Cosmo has a HUGE scar on his chest. I didn't expect it to look quite so awful, but because he's only 10 lbs it covers over half of him. They shaved the area and he's got bloody stitches so of course the poor thing will be on pain medication for awhile. Good news is that he is acting normal, aside from walking kind of weird (probably because of the incision). I thought maybe Joe would be carrying him inside but Cosmo ran into our house, full of energy and his tail wagging, very excited to be home. He went right for his food and water (he hasn't had anything since yesterday) so at least he seems to be recuperating well! (Both dogs are recovered now from whatever ailed them over the weekend.)

As for me, I spoke too soon last night when I said that all I had was a sore throat and cough - today my nose started running like Niagra Falls and by late afternoon I felt MISERABLE. I haven't had a chance to take my temp, but I was burning up & sweating an hour ago. Logan has a runny nose and cough, too (virus #7 of the year) but of course when I'm sick I have no energy at all (plus my period is due any minute) whereas he seemed to have more energy today than normal! It was a hard day since I felt like being alone in bed all day but I don't know if it's because Logan could tell I wasn't acting normal and so he decided to be a daredevil or what the reason - but he was trying to do all kinds of dangerous things today that he hadn't attempted since he was 14 months old. He also decided to be picky again about his food. He wouldn't eat vegetables yesterday or today - or really anything nutritous, so then when I refused to feed him what he wanted, he threw temper tantrums. He hadn't thrown any for awhile but thankfully they are still short so he gets over them quickly and returns to playing - until later when he realizes he hasn't eaten and then the cycle begins again. This happened before and it was just a phase so hopefully this time will be brief, too.

The funny thing is that this week he has been saying his FIRST SENTENCE - every time he wants something he says, "I want that!" Needless to say he is saying it frequently, lol.

He also is very empathetic. Any time I have any inflection in my voice (for example, if I can't find my keys and I'm like, "where are my keys?!") he starts whimpering and his face gets all contorted. He becomes worried if he thinks something is broken or if I get hurt or am sad. I've been telling him that he is a kid and he's too young to worry!

I forgot to mention that when we hung out with Joe's HS friends last Fri. night one of the couples has a 2.5 year old girl and she was a total doll. Logan was playing in her play room and of course he had to collect all of the balls he could find. I'm still new with the whole comfort object thing since he never had anything until a couple of weeks ago. Some days he's glued to balls and takes them to bed with him and other days he doesn't, so I forgot to pack them on the trip. So when it was time to leave, he would not let go! We kept trying to entice him to throw the balls or give them to Delaney (the little girl) but he wouldn't so I had to peel his fingers away for him to let go. As we carried him away, he was screaming and very upset. Well then Delaney came running after him and insisted that he have one of the balls! I was so touched at how sweet and selfless that was. We tried to refuse several times but she and her mom insisted we take it. Logan was immediately happy and DID NOT LET THE BALL GO the rest of the night!!!!

I've covered everything else from our week, except that yesterday (our first day back from our trip) I took Logan to Babysitter's for the morning but she called me to pick him up early because during the 11:00 hr he'd fallen asleep on the floor and didn't move despite her moving him to a crib, the other kids playing loudly, and then them starting lunch! (Not like him at all) She was really concerned and so was I when I got there and he didn't move from the crib (he saw me but continued laying there). I picked him up and he was just like a rag doll in my arms with his head on my shoulder. I talked to Babysitter for a minute and he didn't move at all, nor when I put him into his carseat. When we arrived home I put him in his crib and thought he'd be out for a long time. Instead, 15 minutes later he woke up! I wondered if it was because normally he eats lunch before I pick him up and put him down for his nap. So I fed him . . .but he ended up being full of energy and totally happy yesterday! He didn't end up taking his nap until 4 pm! I had to wake him at 7 because I didn't want his schedule to get off. Thankfully he went to bed for the night at 9 pm and slept 'til 7 this morning and has been back to normal with his sleep since. Joe assumed his falling asleep at Babysitter's was because he was tired from the weekend and not his virus.

This morning we took a quick walk, and in the afternoon he played outside in our yard briefly. I feel absolutely awful right now so I am actually going to bed already. This will be it for my blogging this week. Sorry no memes - I'll get back into that next week when I have news about Cosmo and hopefully am recovered!

As I mentioned yesterday, we left Nebraska on Friday (11/6/09). Logan did excellent on the car ride to Iowa - that makes two in a row for the last two times we've gone where I've been able to sit in front for the entire three hours and he has been perfectly cheerful with sitting still. I must mention again that this age is so much easier than five months ago!!!

We dropped the dogs off at Joe's mom's house in and grabbed some KFC for supper (we met his mom and Roxana there, the little girl she babysits). Then Joe and I hung out briefly with some of his high school friends before going back to his mom's house where we played a game with Roxana (she turned five yesterday) before bed.

On Saturday morning (11/7/09), Joe and I left Iowa for Chicago. Roxana was still at Joe's mom's house, so Logan was having fun playing with her and didn't care that we were leaving. He just waved to us again. :) I'm sure some day he's going to cry, but so far he has never cried when we've left him with Joe's mom or my mom & stepdad so that has always made it very easy on Joe & me. According to our moms, he was the perfect little boy at both grandparents' houses this time - as always!

Joe and I arrived to The Courtyard in downtown Chicago at 3 pm. It didn't start off on the best note - Joe decided to pay for valet parking and as I was grabbing my bags, ready to go inside, I swung my suitcase just as the doorman walked right next to me and the wheels jabbed him super hard in his knees! He about fell to the ground. . .I felt terrible!!!! He limped to the door and kept saying "owe, owe, owe!" as he opened the door. Gritting his teeth said, "Welcome to The Courtyard."

Thankfully everything after that went well. Our room was on the 11th floor and we had a view of the city (what you see in this pic). Joe had gotten tickets to The Blue Man Group and so after we unpacked we decided to go eat supper before heading to the show.

Everyone whom we told we were going to Chicago said we had to eat at Giordano's World Famous Pizza. I found out later I actually ate there the only other time I've been to Chicago (summer of '97) but I didn't remember. But by then it was 4:30 and there was a two hour wait which wasn't going to work since our tickets for The Blue Man Group were at 7 pm. So we were going to head back to our hotel where there were two restaurants across the street that my parents had recommended because they stayed at the same place when they went to Chicago last February to see Oprah :)

But we had already walked several blocks, so before we got to Phil Stefani's or Shaw's Crab House, we saw a Mexican restaurant and decided to eat there instead. The food was just okay, but we were seated immediately and our meal came to our table less than two minutes after we ordered it!

Afterwards we took a cab to Briar Theater. The Blue Man Group was spectacular! We had so much fun. We were exhausted when it was over, though, so we took a taxi back to our hotel and were in bed at 10 pm!

On Sunday morning (11/8/09) we got up, got ready, and took the subway to Soldier Field for the Chicago Bears game! We still had some walking to do, though, so remind me next time not to wear high heel boots in Chicago - ouch!!!

Joe went to Chicago when he was a young boy with his family and had the option to see Soldier Field or go to the museum next door where there were dinosaurs. This is hard to believe for anyone who knows Joe now (he's the Bears #1 fan), but he chose the museum! I guess the other half of his family found an open door and were able to actually walk on to Solider Field! So he's been wanting to make up for that for years, haha. He's seen two Chicago Bears games before but both were in Minnesota against the Vikings (one of them I went to in 2003). This time we had FIFTH ROW seats so I thought it was incredibly awesome, too -- we are definitely going again in the future! Maybe next time we'll bring Logan :)Unfortunately, the Bears lost to the Arizona Cardinals but it was gorgeous weather (70 degrees) so it sure beat watching it at home!

When Joe had bought The Blue Man Group tickets, he'd received free tickets to the John Hancock Center. So we took the subway to the tower and were able to watch the sunset from 1,127 feet above Chicago!

This time for supper we were able to get right in at Giordano's and it was a great way to end our mini vacation, as it was definitely worthy of the world famous title!!!! I wish we would have been able to eat the last two pieces but we were stuffed and knew we'd be leaving right away in the morning, plus with no microwave, we gave them to a homeless family outside.We had wanted to do some shopping at Magnificant Mile, but unlike our Lake Rathbun getaway last month that was for relaxation - we didn't really do anything - this one was the complete opposite, it was so action-packed that we didn't have a moment to rest. I LOVED this trip, I wish we would have been able to stay for longer, it went way too fast. We were in bed again by 10. It wasn't good enough for me, though. . .I woke up Monday morning (11/9/09) with a horrible sore throat and officially have my first virus since the fifth's disease the end of May/early June. I can't tell if it's a cold or what (I don't have a runny nose and feel fine otherwise, but I now have a cough to go along with the sore throat).

Anyway, my mom & stepdad had picked Logan and the dogs up the day before at Joe's mom's house, so we drove to my parents' house in Iowa to get them before arriving home to Nebraska last night. Unfortunately, both of my dogs were sick as well - having diahrrea for 24 hrs. :( Nobody fed them anything weird so maybe they caught something when they were at the vet last week. Who knows. . .but I have decided that after Christmas I'm not traveling with them anymore. Not only is it too much work for us these days with Logan (and we don't even have a van) but my dogs seem to get way too anxious and nervous (the last time my dad & stepmom were the ones who dogsat, and Bella & Cosmo had an accident at their house; now this time they were sick - even throwing up - inside my mom & stepdad's house).

It's kind of like the behavior thing, I don't know why they changed - for two years we used to go back to Iowa every month before Logan was born and they loved it! They were relaxed, comfortable, and never had accidents or got sick. But now they clearly have issues. So either we'll ask our neighbors to check on them like we did when we visited my grandma in August, otherwise my friend Stacy said her HS friend is her dogsitter and would actually stay in my house with them. I haven't met her yet, but I can't bear to put them in a kennel so I hope it works out, starting in the new year.

Speaking of my dogs, we take Cosmo to the vet at 7:45 am tomorrow for his surgery (this pic was taken this evening), so wish him luck. :(

Joe and I will be driving home from Chicago today! In a post I wrote over the summer (Our Weekend) I mentioned that we had bought Chicago Bears tickets because my husband is a huge Bears fan but has never seen a game at Soldier Field. So on Friday when he got off of work we drove to his mom's house in Iowa, spent the night with Logan, and then on Saturday morning Joe and I drove to Chicago until today. We will pick up Logan at my parents' place in Iowa (where he went yesterday) and then return home to Nebraska.

I'll save my post about our weekend in Chicago for tomorrow. For today, I'll catch you up on the past week:

Monday was Logan's 18 Month Check-Up, which I already wrote about in Friday's post (First Peanut Butter).

On Tuesday we had the dogs' vet appointment, as those know who read my post (The Dog Expert Has Been Called). However, what I had thought was going to be a very simple appt. didn't turn out to be. (I wish I'd brought more for Logan than just puffs - we sat in a room for an hour-and-a-half so after the first hour he got whiny!)

Early in the summer Cosmo (my male maltipoo) had a bump on his side that wasn't anything. The vet had shaved the area and it went away on its own right away. However, a month later a different bump (more lumpy and bigger) appeared on his chest. I didn't take him in right away because we'd JUST gone for the other lump that was nothing.

Then, a couple of weeks ago (after approximately two months of Cosmo having the lump), I had a dream that we had to put Cosmo to sleep. I was very upset when I woke up and immediately called the vet for an appt. But I still didn't think it was anything to be concerned about. Cosmo just turned 4 on Halloween so he is young. (This pic was taken 5/27/07; you can see more pics in my post titled A One Year-Old And Two Dogs)It wasn't until we were waiting for our vet to return to the room with results from the biopsy, that I began thinking about my complaints from the past couple of years. Aside from Bella biting Logan twice, my frustration has been about Cosmo because he's the one that barks, he's the one that doesn't always obey, he's the one who I have a hard time controlling when he's around strangers and other dogs. But he also makes me smile the most because he can act so silly, he makes me feel so much love because he's so affectionate and loving (Bella is, too, but she'll pull away and decide when she's had enough, Cosmo will kiss you forever), and he's the only one (of all three of my kids, lol) that will let me hold him as long as I want!

So I feel awful that two weeks ago when I thought that I might have to give my dogs away because they've suddenly both started biting, I was so depressed at the thought of them possibly going to someone who could abuse them or somewhere they would be unhappy - the thought came to my mind that giving them up might be harder on me than them dying. I believe that our pets go to heaven with us (they are the definition of love). So that's when I knew the results before the vet told me. . .because that's how life works. . .ugh :(

Sure enough, she said Cosmo has "definite cancer." The good news is that if it is stage 1 or 2 then all they do is remove the lump and that should be it. The bad news is that if that happens, more than likely it will come back and so we will have to keep a close eye on him for the rest of his life. If it is stage 3 or 4 then we will have treatment options such as chemotherapy. . .but I can't even bear to think about that. Cosmo is my fragile dog. The reason why he can get out of control is because he is so timid and insecure. There's no way he'd do well with chemo, and I don't want him in ANY pain. The slightest thing scares him and it's always very obvious whenever he's in pain, whereas Bella has never once acted sick or in pain (which I find hard to believe has never happened in 4.5 years). Therefore, if it's stage 3 or 4 then that awful dream I had the night before I made the appt. is going to come true. :(

The vet took some blood and a urine sample. . .and the next day she called and said his urine showed that the cancer has possibly spread to his kidneys (which would mean it's in other organs as well). We won't know anymore until his surgery - this Wednesday, November 11th.

I'm trying to remain strong until then. (This pic was taken on 7/7/07.) Apparently there is sometimes a false positive with the urine and so it doesn't mean the cancer is for sure a stage 3 or 4. I'm reminding myself things could be worse - thank God it is not Logan. After being through some scares with him (his jaundice, his brachial cleft fistula) I will never prepare myself for Logan to die because I pray to God I will die before him - but I have always been prepared that there was going to be a horrible day that I'd witness Bella & Cosmo's death. Hopefully this isn't the time for Cosmo, but there is no avoiding it someday, and chances are we know what's ultimately going to take him.

In some ways I think it might be easier on Logan if it did happen now, though. They are so incredibly close already, their bond is only going to get stronger as the years go by. While Bella would be fine without Logan, I think Cosmo's best time of his life has been since Logan was born! I think he feels he has a purpose (big brother to Logan) and he gets so much joy from playing with and kissing Logan.

But it's never going to be easy on me. On Thursday Joe said, "Can you imagine how awful it'd be driving driving Cosmo to the vet knowing that once he gets there he'll be put down?" That night I balled my eyes out.

I'm the one who holds and comforts Cosmo when he's scared, who has rubbed his belly when he's been sick, who has cuddled with him on the couch (he's the one who is always on my lap), and I'm the one who picked out the little guy at the pet store (I'm never buying from a pet store again - Bella was from a breeder and has never had one health problem, Cosmo's already had problems with his knee caps, teeth, stomach, etc.). Cosmo's soul is just so gentle and sweet. He's so playful, so happy-go-lucky. Joe said he has always felt closer to Cosmo (Bella's always been "Mommy's girl") and so it's sad to see Joe crushed about this news, too. At least right now Cosmo's not showing any signs that he has cancer. Except that he's on Bendadryl from the biopsy until his surgery (yes, the over-the-counter stuff for humans) so he has been lazy since his appt.

But there's definitely no way I'm giving my dogs away now (as I said before, it's either both or none). I'm not giving up on my Cozzy! So if he ends up having many more years with us then hopefully Sally The Dog Lady will help me.

That morning I had gone over to Jenn's (my friend and next door neighbor) for scrapbooking. She hadn't had a scrapbooking day since April because then she went to Utah for the summer (where she's from) and I'd put scrapbooking on hold in place of a photography hobby. However, a couple of months ago I mentioned on this blog that Joe & I have decided to wait until the spring semester to take our photography & photo shop class (i.e. start the hobby). So it was fun to get caught up on scrapbooking now that Jenn's baby is 2 months old and she's started it up again with other stay at home moms in our neighborhood from her church (she's Mormon). I enjoyed the company of the other moms and the yummy lunch prepared by Jenn!

I forgot to mention last month that I resigned from writing web health articles (all of the same info is posted on my blog in the middle of various posts so if you read my blog then you haven't missed anything). I found out the doctor's website had permission to copyright my work and would get paid if they distributed it. I prefer owning my work so I decided a year was enough of that. But throughout the year it was great to receive awards and recognition for helping other moms and moms to be.

Not much happened on Wednesday. . .I took Logan on our first walk since the dog biting experience but we went to a different part of my neighborhood. I also decided to cancel our appt. with Sally The Dog Lady that evening, until after Cosmo's surgery. . .I figured his health is enough to focus on right now, we'll worry again about my dogs' behavior later.

On Thursday Logan went to the sitter's. Whenever I pick him up he gets in a toy car and drives away! It's so funny, Babysitter was like, "He does that every single time! I wonder what his thought process is?!" She said he doesn't even really drive it around the rest of the time!

We finished the day by taking a walk and playing outside. After 30 days on it, I put The Five Factor Diet on hold until after Christmas. With Halloween, Cosmo's ordeal, and our Chicago trip I lost my motivation. :/ So hopefully I'll keep off the 7 I lost (I plan to still do the eliptical every day - it's the only time I get to watch TV, haha - I rent television DVDs) and then I can resume losing the last 13 after the new year before I get pregnant with baby #2!

Lately Logan has been making a horse sound when he picks up his toy horse (he's never made animal sounds before like a lot of kids do), as well as cow and sheep, so that's cute. He hasn't said any new words lately - his talking depends on his mood: some days he'll say up to 40 words on his own, other days just one or two.

We are surprised that Logan likes spicy food. We first discovered this at a Mexican restaurant Joe & I ate at a couple of weeks ago - Logan was whining because we were eating the chips and salsa and weren't giving any to him. So we thought we'd give him a taste, assuming he wouldn't like it and then he wouldn't whine anymore - ha ha! But instead, he did - and it wasn't that he just liked it, he LOVED it! He would have eaten the whole bowl of salsa had we let him! Since then there's been a couple of other times he's begged for a taste of a spicy dish we're eating and he acts like he's never tasted something so good! Maybe that's why spicy food never bothered me while pregnant or nursing like most mothers! :p

Unrelated, he's has began having nightmares again. :( They've only been when he is done sleeping (it's what has woken him up after a full night's sleep or a long nap) but it had been since July since I'd heard that horrible scream so hopefully they will stop again ASAP. (For those who don't know, Logan's had night terrors ever since he was a newborn. Joe and I were so caught off guard back then because we never had them as children and didn't even know it was possible for babies that young, especially since he's had a very stable, secure, gentle, sheltered, love-filled, pampered life! Plus, he was so happy and calm in his daily life, never fussy or crying for long. He never woke up and they stopped around five months old, but returned briefly around nine months old - that's when we learned from our pediatrician and reading articles that it is some babies' way of their brain developing! The Night Terrors Resource Center says: "Sleep labs across the United States and Canada have shown through sleep studies, that Night Terrors happen due to increased brain activity." It happened again briefly when he was 11 months old and again briefly at 15 months. This must mean his brain is changing again at 18.5 months. You can read the difference between night terrors and nightmares here.)

This week's Friday Frustrations is about something that happened last Thursday when I picked Logan up from his babysitter's where he has been going 8 hrs a week for over seven months. Until now I've had absolutely no complaints or problems with his sitter - she has been a Godsend. The closest I came was when he was 11 months old she fed him oranges (pediatricians and all of the parenting books out there do not recommended citrus until a year old). He was only one month away but Logan still ended up having diarrhea and a diaper rash, so I told her not to give him anymore in the future. A couple of months later he had orange juice for the first time at home and has done fine with oranges since. I figured I was bound to have at least one other issue at some point, as no daycare or sitter are perfect, but I didn't expect it to be this because I thought this news was already EVERYWHERE (but if not, then I'm glad my post can be educational to other moms)!

When I picked Logan up last Thursday, October 29th he was still eating lunch. I noticed he was eating a sandwich and at first I didn't think anything of it (he's had sandwiches at home before). Babysitter had a Halloween party for them that day and so we talked about that and she gave me a cupcake Logan had made for me (put the sprinkles on) as well as a goodie sack and another cup full of treats from one of the other boy's moms. I can't wait to see the pics of their party.

Anyway, as Logan was finishing his sandwich I noticed some purple on it. I felt a little uneasy as I asked, "What kind of sandwich is that?" She said, "Peanut butter and jelly."

I didn't say anything but I left feeling really upset. The Academy Of Pediatrics says to wait until children are THREE before giving them peanut butter or anything with nuts. Peanut allergies are one of the worst out there! Sometimes just one taste can be fatal! Do you all remember that story a few years ago about the teen girl who died because she kissed her boyfriend who'd eaten a pb sandwich 9 hrs earlier? (Article is here.) I have a friend who works at a daycare center in Iowa and she said they aren't allowed to give it to any of their kids, no matter what the age, because it's like my Friday Frustrations last week about my dogs: if you don't let kids come up and pet the dogs then you'll know for sure nothing bad will happen.

Back when I was growing up, parents gave peanut butter as soon as their babies could eat food. Joe's baby book has him eating it regularly at a year and I'm sure I ate it as a toddler. But there has been such an increase in allergies over the past few decades, experts are saying some of this has to do with foods being introduced too soon. Studies have shown that the longer you wait to introduce certain foods the less chance of developing allergies. Pregnant women should also refrain from nuts and peanut butter in their third trimester of pregnancy, as well as when nursing (I did not know this at the time, so I did eat some peanut butter, however it wasn't often. For other "don'ts," I wrote a post when I was pregnant titled The Do's (and a couple don'ts) of Pregnancy.)

Chances are, Logan is fine with peanut butter. Nobody in either my family or Joe's has peanut allergies. And, he didn't show any reaction last Thursday (the symptoms are: hives, difficulty breathing or asthma symptoms, swelling of the mouth or throat, vomiting or diarrhea, loss of consciousness). He also hasn't shown any other signs of allergies these past 18 months (typically kids who are allergic to peanut butter are also allergic to other things, especially if they have asthma). But Logan had his 18 month check up this past Monday, November 2nd and his doctor was upset when I told him - he said to still not give it again for another year-and-a-half because often times the first eating of peanut butter has no reactions because the body doesn't have the allergen yet. Now, after eating it, Logan's body has the allergen and so if he is allergic then the next time could be extremely serious. So, I called his babysitter that evening and informed her about the situation (she said "no problem").


Logan came in at 25 lbs, 1.25 oz, and was 34.5 inches tall (that's the 40% for weight and 90% for height - both percentiles shocked me, I expected the opposite, haha. I'm 5'2.5", Joe's 5'8.5", and Logan eats non stop). His head was 18 3/4 (70%). He received his third DTaP and first polio vaccine and as always did excellent (both getting the shots and afterwards acting happy and no side effects).

Typically children don't have another check up until they're two years old, but we're going back the end of January so Logan can get his final DTaP and second polio vaccine. Then at his two year appt. he'll get his final polio and first Hep B. We'll go again that summer/fall for his final Hep B and MMR. We'll go again that winter to get the first Hep A and then his final Hep A will be at his three year appt - which means he will be caught up to the standard schedule a year-and-a-half from now (except for the flu vaccine and chicken pox - we don't plan to ever give the seasonal flu shot and aren't sure if we'll ever give the chicken pox vaccine. We also have the option of a much safer and mercury-free H1N1 shot this Thanksgiving (since we didn't give the regular one) so we might do that (not because of the flu itself, but because some toddlers are developing additional problems with their organs if they get it).

Logan was given our pediatrician's top health, even though his skin looked jaundice (yes, seriously). Doc said it's because Logan likes carrots (he eats them every day!) and so the beta carotene is showing up through his skin! He said it's not harmful, but too much vitamin A can be, so limiting carrots to every other day will guarantee he won't have high vitamin A but will allow him to continue to get the benefits of carrots. Ironically, Logan refused carrots the rest of the week! I don't want him to not eat them at all as they are healthy. . .geesh, could he have actually understood what we were talking about behind his back and that's why he suddenly wouldn't eat them?!

As for the peanut butter again, the symptoms listed above can occur within a few minutes or a few hours, so keep your eye on your child after they eat peanut butter and if he/she develops these, call 911 immediately - like I said before: peanut butter can be fatal.