The Organ Grinder's Monkey

The “Pine Apple Rag” was written by Scott Joplin in 1908. It is supposed to be played as a Slow March and is one of many of his works to include the instruction;

“NOTE: Do not play this piece fast. Composer.”

A lot of ragtime is played much too fast as pianists try to show off.

(ie “The Entertainer” in The Sting) .

Last week I was over near Dorney, which I mentioned in my bit on Monkey Island.

There used to be a particularly good “Pick your Own” in the grounds of Dorney Court.

It is great fun to pick your own fruit and especially Pineapples.

But, like a lot of things today the “Elf ’n Safety” gang had got there first and it had closed down.

How sad.

I just fancied a Pineapple.

I am only joking about PYO pineapples - BUT they were really grown there in “Good King Charles Days”. In fact the very first pineapple to be grown in England was cultivated here at Dorney Court in 1661.

Dorney Court has been the home of the Palmer family for more than 450 years, passing from father to son through thirteen generations. It is a Grade 1 listed building, further designated as being of outstanding architectural and historical interest. Dorney Court has always been the manor house of Dorney village which was first recorded in the Doomsday Book.

A large carved stone pineapple standing in the Great Hall commemorates the first pineapple ever to be grown in England - here at Dorney Court.

The story is that at a dinner in the Mansion House, the King cut the top off a pineapple which had come from Barbados, and gave it to the Earl of Castlemaine to see if he could get it to grow!

The Earls gardener, a Mr Rose (!), planted the top and the first fruit was duly presented to King Charles II in 1661.

It is only a story, but a nice one, as it has never been proved, however there is a painting by a Dutch painter, Danckaert of the first pineapple being presented to the King.

The background in the picture bears no resemblance to Dorney but as it was painted in Holland, it is thought that he painted what to him, was a typical English home!

Further down the road is of course a pub.

And yes you've guessed; it is called the "Pineapple".

In fact, the pub is not in Dorney but in the neighbouring hamlet of Lake End.

The connection with beer does not end here either, for in 1840, a new brewer came to Maidenhead - WILLIAM NICHOLSON. William was a trained chemist and he used his skills to perfect his beer. The water for the beer came from a 320ft. artesian well under his premises; this well is on pure chalk and gave the beer its distinctive flavour. (In other words - "Thames Water").

William named his brewery PINEAPPLE BREWERY; he chose this name because the first pineapple to be grown in England was at nearby Dorney Court.

I was just browsing through a ‘What’s on’ article and two items caught my eye.

The first was “The Festival of Quilts” at the NEC in Birmingham. It runs from 19 - 22 August.

It is not that I’m a quilt enthusiast, (except for lying under them),

but just think of all the lovely ladies there!

The second which is actually more to my taste is the “Festival in the Shire”.

This sounds like a must for all Tolkien fans. I wasn’t sure about the use of the word ‘shire’ here as it turns out it is being held in Ceredigion, a Welsh county.

I had always liked to imagine that Hobbiton in the Shire was as English as you could get. Tolkein was very attracted to the English countryside around Oxfordshire.

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The main Festival is for general or new fans with shopping stalls, food, entertainment, activities, film showings and music all day and late into the evening. There will be a wide variety of stalls and entertainment. Suitable for all the family, the festival takes place at Pafiliwn Bont, Wales’ centrally located multi-purpose venue.

Entertainment will include J.R.R. Tolkien inspired re-enactments, music and other performance art together with Celtic music and a myriad of fantasy related events. It will also offer attendees the opportunity to sample local Welsh food as well as view a variety of Celtic crafts and meet different craftspeople.

What a great idea.

Mmmmm, second thoughts.

It’s a three day do and will put you back £260 for a VIP 3-day pass.

Although to be fair, there is a 3-day pass to the above bit only for £35.

It was written in 1941 by Elmer Albrecht who worked next door to Chicago's Aragon Ballroom and received permission to use one of their pianos on his lunch hours. Bandleader Dick Jurgens liked one of the melodies he heard Albrecht play and arranged it for his orchestra. Lyricist Sammy Gallop added words.

The new Olympic rowing venue (which appears to be called Dorney Lake) is situated not far from Bray, which I posted about last week. It is an artificial lake (or lakes as there are actually two side by side) and is easily spotted from Google Earth.

But back on the main river, about half a mile from Bray Lock is a eyot which has acquired the name of “Monkey Island“.

It is generally assumed that the Island takes its name from the monkey paintings in the pavilion but this is not correct.

The room is often referred to as the 'Monkey Hall' as the ceiling paintings depict monkey engaged in various human occupations.

Some are fishing, some shooting and one is sitting in a boat smoking, while a female is rowing him over the river!

They never seem to me to be very good representations of monkeys, but there you go.

The pictures are sometimes attributed to a French artist named Clermont.

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Perched on top of one of the southernmost ridges of the Chiltern hills, Flackwell Heath enjoys superb views on three sides; to the south over the Thames valley to the South Downs far beyond, and to the east and north over the Wye valley curving round from Wycombe through Wooburn to Bourne End.

The cherry industry was important to several Chiltern villages, for example Prestwood and Holmer Green. Whereas these two villages tended to have larger, commercial orchards, it was Flackwell Heath with its prettier mosaic of smaller fields and meadows that seems to have been generally regarded as the queen of the Chiltern cherry villages.

There were two main events that marked the cherry season. On Cherry Sunday, the Sunday in April that coincided most closely with the peak of the cherry blossom, visitors from Wycombe and surrounding villages would pack Flackwell Heath's narrow country lanes to admire the trees, before most likely fortifying themselves in one or other of the local pubs before the long walk back home again.

To mark the completion of the cherry picking season in July there was the Cherry Fair, an occasion of revelry and celebration.

Most local people would be involved in the cherry picking in one way or another. Ladders up to 30 feet tall and with a wide base for stability were manipulated with ease and skill to reach the tops of the trees.

Many children (playing truant?) would earn a few pence as "bird starvers", vying with each other to devise and construct rattles and other apparatus that would make as much noise as possible to try to scare blackbirds and starlings away from the rapidly ripening crop.

The last Flackwell Heath cherry orchard was planted in 1889, and none exists today, their sites having all been built on.

With the demise of the orchards the Cherry Fair lapsed, but was revived in 2005 as Flackwell Heath village carnival and fete, and has been held every July since then but is now called the ‘Cherry Fayre‘.

Clare: “I say Rosie, who was that Italian fellah in the garden with that little organ?”

Rosie: “That was no Italian bloke!”.

“That was our Uncle Bernard!”.

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If I remember rightly there used to be a competition between five Counties.

I can’t be quite sure, but I expect it was a cricket championship and I have no idea which were the five counties.

On Saturday, however, I managed to visit five counties; only a fleeting visit for three.

I started off in Bucks, went up through Oxfordshire into Warwickshire, across into Worcestershire and finally sneaked into Shropshire by a knats whisker!

I was off to the wedding of one of my nieces, Rosemary, who was ‘tying the knot’ with Adam. The Wedding itself was in the church in Blakedown, Worcestershire and the reception was held in the grounds of Arley Arboretum, Shropshire.

The collection includes many rare and spectacular domestic and exotic trees. Nestling in the Severn Valley and overlooking the river, it has been growing and maturing in this idyllic setting for two centuries. It is also situated within ‘whistling’ distance of the Severn Valley Railway - a beautifully preserved and fully working steam railway.

The reception was in a marquee and I had been asked to play some suitable ‘Arboretum Music’ in the garden whilst the guests partook of Pimms and canapés. (whatever they are? - I never found out as I was only trusted with orange juice!)

I was all ready to play ‘Under the Spreading Chestnut Tree’ when I was asked for a bit of Handel, the Bride's favourite. So I started with the 'Arrival of the Queen of Sheba'.

A cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the gates and said, ‘You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking.’

The cat thought for a minute and then said, ‘All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on.’

God said, ‘Say no more.’ Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy pillow.

A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident and they all went to Heaven together. God met the mice at the gates with the same offer that He made to the cat.

The mice said, ‘Well, we have had to run all of our lives: from cats, dogs, and even people with brooms! If we could just have some little roller skates, we would not have to run again.’

God answered, ‘It is done.’ All the mice had beautiful little roller skates.

About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked, ‘Is everything okay? How have you been doing? Are you happy?’

The cat replied, ‘Oh, it is WONDERFUL. I have never been so happy in my life. The pillow is so fluffy, and those little Meals on Wheels you have been sending over are delicious!’

The famous Singing Vicar of Bray had a well-known ballad written about him in which he promised to remain the Vicar of Bray, Sir, no matter what religious denomination he had to adopt.

Living under King Henry VIII, King Edward VI, Queen Mary, and Queen Elizabeth, he was first a Papist, then a Protestant, then a Papist, then a Protestant again. He had seen some martyrs burnt (two miles off) at Windsor, and found this fire too hot for his tender temper.

This vicar, being taxed by one for being a turncoat and an inconstant changeling, said,

"Not so, for I always kept my principle, which is this - to live and die the Vicar of Bray".

The most prominent object in the village from the river is the fine old church, close to which stands the vicarage, with trim gardens, and smooth shaven lawns running down to the river. A profusion of fine trees adds to the beauty of the view, and the place is very happily situated at a beautiful bend of the river.

Here's a snippet about The Waterside Inn. Bray.

It was taken from a review in the ‘Torygraph’ :-

The Waterside Inn, Ferry Road, Bray, Berkshire; (waterside-inn.co.uk).

Lunch for two: £230 and....... they only awarded it 6 out of ten!

Hi CherryPie.

Only the extra letter ‘r’.

I didn’t really get enough cherries, even for a Cherry pie!

As a child, Mother used to make us lots of pies and puddings. I have, over the years, grown out of eating ’afters’, as we used to call them. (now deserts or sweets).

Hello Helen,

Yes, I’m afraid that was all I got off four trees! The birds around here are starving - well not any longer - they are full of my cherries!

I do get bats in the garden, but they don’t eat fruit, only insects and moths.

I do, however, get the same problem as you, with dark red bird droppings all over the place. I can’t sit on the garden seat under the tree unless it is cleaned first.

I hope Foody reads that bit about the ‘Cherry Ripe’. That sounds “right up her street”!

Cheers all……..Bernard

Off to try some mulberries in my Yoghurt.

The cider's depth and flavours are dictated by the apple varieties used to make it. This varies between counties.