finally, tiwari has a blog......hahaha

okay this is my 15min break from maths before i get into it AGAIN.....just 1hr ago i was panicking over a senseless careless mistake (sampling, so you know)...goodness

these days the tension in my brain is like really high. "have i studied this before?" "can i remember this when i get there?"

like 2 weeks before there's totally no drive to study you know? like really.....i was basically hyper-stoning (just to borrow a word from jia hao) at my math in the morning and dazing at geog in the afternoon

thanks to yvonne, if not i don't think i can make it thru blocks

haiz......these days everyone seems to have their problems, from beryl (thanks ah ritesh)...i guess when people around you aren't feeling well it affects inside bah...like sometimes, it's very hard for me to like sympathetize some stuff...for one i don't have a relationship before.not even coming close to one. it's like sometimes, the best advice i can give is based on logic, and sometimes when it comes to relationships, logic doesn't really work.

i'm always open to a listening ear....haiz, but everytime i listen to other people's problems, it's very helpless like you can't do anything to help them - but to just listen and provide some sort of comfort.

it's difficult to be sad, because when you feel sad, there's nothing to make it go away - when you're sad, people around you also feel sad.....it's easier to be happy(easier said than done)

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i was watching oprah the other day, and there's this psychologist who studies happiness...maybe what he said echoed my fears and cleared some fog on that area. maybe i want to believe what he's telling me.

he said that happiness is always in our heart, we all need to find a way to connect to that place in our hearts. when we believe that we're worth it, and that happiness can last...then it will.

come to think of it, there's no loss in believing that happiness will last when you let it.

i live in singapore and although i want to explore the world, this will always be home. although i don't live in a big house, but i'm very comfortable....although i don't have aircon, i appreciate the fact that i have a fan.

when you start to be grateful for all thet things around you, you'll find that there's actually alot to be thankful for - a close-knitted community of friends, a caring family, materials things that make you comfortable, a piano to play on, a dog to look forward to, a home.

what is there not to be thankful? i mean seriously - it's only want you start to desire, and gotten what you've desired, that you'll realise that what you desired will not fulfil you. and so you keep desiring, keep going after paper shadows....it's not worth it. i think we should all look forward and plan to what makes you glow from the inside.

not what gives you pleasure. it's a pleasure to make friends, to have a big house, to have a ferrari...but it'll only make you happy when you have friends to lean on, a house that have memories and laughter and a car that can bring the family together that counts. other than that....is secondary.

i guess it's all i have to say - because deep down inside, i wish that all my friends can be as happy as i am right now. we're not perfect (i'm far from it) but at least we try to be, and every trail makes us a better person right?

be strong!

the Climate really is changing

ah....believe it or not, the issues of climate change is all the raze today...just finished mugging for geog, i don't really want to mug anymore really.....the formation of bornharts, castle koppies, karst landscapes, limestone pavements with its clints and grykes, the atmosphere, the koppen-geiger(pronounced as kerpen) classification of climates, adverse tropical cyclones......blah blah blah

going mad soon lahz......all that information squeezed into your brain, i'm not wanting to show off or what, but when you're stuck with so many things to do, and you're getting a really great teacher, it adds alot stress.

and you start asking yourself - are the things that i'm doing correct? is my gut feeling telling me what i think it's telling me.

yah.....for so long, my gut feeling has been telling me to do things my own way. i flip open books and journals - poof~ the answer that i was looking for was not in the notes all along, it was in the books that surround me everyday.

great, now i have more trouble, it means i have to painstakingly compile the stuff in my own writing. but thing i'll ever learn from them is that it's not easy to write notes for students....moreover, to do it well is like mastering an art.

i don't want to compare teachers, but sometimes what we students want is a little direction. it's okay if u're not perfect, we can totally understand that you're trying....if after so long and you're still trying, then perhaps the process hasn't been productive isn't it?

i love geography, and although it's pretty much a love-hate relationship, like the dependent female role, i'll always return to geography even though there had been some hard times. hmph, i guess i'm pretty much married to books.

anyway.....i'm really happy that nat liked the present that i gave her....really, it brings more joy to the giver when the receipient appreciates the gift....that's why gift-wrapping and christmas times are so joyful, the season of giving benefits both parties....if not because we all don't have a deep pocket, i guess i'll give more bah....hahahahaha......maybe that's why santa claus is so popular.

i want to rest my bloody brain for awhile...too much of atmospheric ozone can kill brain cells.

ii~tenki ne!
nice weather isn't it - perfect for studying

today is a really really really really warm day....like the moment i climbed up the never-ending hill to ms lam's house my back was like all wet.....not surprisingly, PLUS i had a stomach ache.that's how mother nature tortures people slowly.

anyway, on my way to piano lesson i thought about something great, but i can't really remember it now, just slipped my mind.

oh yah! i remember le...!

while i was walking to the mrt station passing through the tunnel, it came across to me that it's kinda pathetic to some people to have to wake up 6:30am on a school holiday (what holiday?) to reach somerset at 8am and then walk to ms lam's house and hopefully reach there by 8:20am.

plus, i wasn't really in the mood for lessons because i really want to get started on climatology and start reading all the WONDERFUL *strained smile* climatology notes....but hey, here i am in the mrt train (by then i'm on my way down south) dragging what seems like a ton worth of music beansprouts to have a morning lessons. excuse me, i was the first student of the day.(shangyi was second)

WHAT IF, what if i could just sms my teacher this morning to postpone my lessons....hah!that would be in my dreams because my teacher doesn't own a hp (anymore). and to cancel would be to call her and i would have to hear her rather disappointed voice.

yes. that's when it hit me....we all know and are very familar how technology can bring us to a very convenient spot where an apology need not be made face-to-face.

yes, indeed....when friends quarrel, we all think that by smsing our friends an apology, things will be solved. because we don't really have the guts to ask them out and really really explain ourselves out. people normally take the easy way out. like how i would very much want to cancel the lesson, but i can't.

that's probably why people these days can't accept the fact that things don't always go your way. it sucks....and believe it, they do. and people don't believe that things can turn out a certain way...but they do, and they cannot explain it.

i'm really grateful for my mum who instilled (i mean, nag) this sense of observant attitude.because like a book i once read, the signs or symptoms are all around you, it's a matter whether you want to open an eye to it or not. once you start observing things around you, many unexaplainable matters because very clear, and things that have happened without reason now becomes very logical.

so when one day technology becomes unavailable to you, (like how ms aminah does not own a hp)you're lost. boundaries are drawn....and we no longer have the courage to step over that boundary. (i had to make 7 trips to the staff room in 4 days just so tt i can verify the econs rep feedback session)

no wonder we get frustrated easily, miscommunicated easily and disappoint easily.

we also assume things easily.....causing more misunderstandings

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if we don't have a hp, or a dopod or internet-can you survive?

not all would say the same.

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it's really special for people to give unconditionally. i cannot do it...i admit

but today i just realise what an ass i've been, to scold people for being irresponsible and uncommitted and selfish but i don't practice what i preach (many don't practise what they preach)

like shangyi had just won a $30 kinokuniya voucher...i know ritesh would salivate at this. but that's not the point....so seow ling and i were looking at comics, and shangyi just said ,"你们要买， 我有voucher..."and so i jumped the chance and bought 2 comic books (costing abt 20bucks together). however, it's really bad to spend other people's prize money...so i told her i'd hold on to the books, if she has anything to buy and it's over the limit, i'll return the books.

haiz......i still feel bad because she has bought them already...and i left early because i had to go to yvonne's house...so i smsed to tell shangyi that it's okay, but she's really really nice and she bought the books for me le....now i feel bad >.<"

what i feel worse is that i promised yvonne that i'll go to her house at 1pm, latest 2pm, but we ate and the time was already 1:45pm by the time everything ended....maybe being a little selfish i wanted to spend more time with shangyi since i hardly spend time with her....and i really wanted to give her her bday present.(HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!)

anyway....it's really great to have these kinda friends, people who give things unconditionally and don't ask anything in return...that's why it always hurts me to see them being used or bullied by other people....

shangyi: next time got people bully you must tell me k? i'll help you the best i can....=)thanks loads for the comic books! *hugz*

i'm really fortunate to have so many great friends and people around me....although it's hurting my pocket to buy presents for so many friends....but to see their smile and wonderful smses of thanks just warms my heart....besides, if i didn't want to do it, i wouldn've said no...if i had endless amount of cash, i would've bought greater gifts to thank them for all the great times and their friendship....

words of love and gratitude can never be said enough......so

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR FRIENDSHIP....I LOVE YOU ALL!

don't you have any shame or conscience to call your own? i mean creating and "glorifying" yourself by putting others down and making false creations that never existed. worse still, you want to claim all the credit when you contribute nothing constructive......what kind of a human are you? you live in your own realm of fantasy where people worship you, and you create a line of life where you are king. but the truth remains is that nobody respects you.....because deep down in yuor broken soul, you don't even respect yourself and your heritage. what kind of a person dwells in that kind of ridicule....do you seriously think people will PITY and SYMPHATHIZE with you? with that kind of attitude, nobody will look up, or even even, with you...

if you do not comtemplate the world...then perhaps, no one, not even the kindest creature that you've hurt will accept you into their world. because you insist on your own understanding and not seeking understanding from the order higher than you. and so you insist, that makes me wonder, perhaps you actually place yourself higher than all of us, or even higher than the being you were chose to worship.

were you to continue the false testimony of your life, i will not hesistate to put you down and end all the fantasies that you thought you had....because your actions have created multiple reactions in many people. (or is this the kind of attention you want?)

for all that you've done, and will continue to do....i hope that one day, i'll learn to forgive your actions, right now, i'm not about ready to see this go down the wrong way.

it's not about you anymore........go and contemplate the world....we don't abide to just anyone.

目中无人

世上真的有人会那么自私, 只会想到自己，不顾他人。。。

可是，一种米，百种人， 虽然是说我们做人要有大量，但是每一个人的忍量是有限度的。

请大家不要太过分，尤其是对待关心你的朋友与爱人，有时要让，有时也要理解对方也有他自己的short comings，有跟你不一样的个性。与其大家都能了解彼此，为何自私的人不能放下私利心，有时腿一步想想自己的举动？

真拿这些人没办法，有时要说他们，但心又太软。不说就只好自己承受自私人的所作所为吧！竟然有人能装哝作哑，可以忍受这些人的一举一动。 开啥么玩笑，那种人可能是疯了，不然是被某种巫术给蒙了眼睛，才会去应酬的啦。但我倒是觉得，那一种待遇是时短站的，很快，他也会超越他的忍耐限度， 突破那障眼法。

我相信大家也有为所欲为的时候。 可能在家人面前，我们都很放肆，不管爸妈弟妹就自作主张。我表明，身为一名only child, 我也不例外。 有时，我的举动和态度会让父母对我很失望，但我发现到父母有多不满，他们还是劲最大的能力照顾我们，也不埋怨我们的缺点。

我们能这么做吗？不埋怨别人的缺点，用勇气去往好的方面想，如果能这么做，世上的事都会变得很简单。那你为何不这么做?是应为你放不下心中的牵挂，还是解决不了所面对的矛盾？如果说我相信你，一切会有所改善，那，如果你是我，你会放下心灵上的不安，牵着温软的 手往前走吗？我意识是，有时候，在事情上所面对的困难，我们也可以依靠朋友与家人的力量来解决我们的问题。不许利用别人，或是找其他不良方式来达到目标，如果你这么做，那就是我所要在这强调的自私。应为你没有去想到你的行为不但会影响到他人，你的言语， 以及你对朋友的态度有时候会很伤人。

我也是过来人。 因为自己insecure， 做了一些伤害朋友的事，后来后悔莫及， 心上月不想发生的事，后来因为自私，而变成了不堪设想的恶梦。真的，现在后悔也没有用，说对不起也来不及，我只能不再犯同样的错，不要再因为自己的insecurities影响到关心我的人。够了，以往所发生的事，一次就够了。

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再来，这几天，我们所说过的事情，感觉上，我的气也都淡化了。没有是能比快乐重要， 我要的快乐不只是天天笑口常开，也必须心平气合。 心上不挂着烦脑 - 说真的，我不想去恨任何人，只想自我反省， 接受大家的缺点，珍惜好时光。因为好朋友，一去就不回头， 将来大家各忙各的，回亿是 你孤单是就要好的同伴。

刚读过林安娜在新民日报的一边写作- 衷心诚恳的朋友所给的意见对我们来说是忠言逆耳，其他朋友的话都是甜言蜜语，而在人有权示威时，忠言逆耳的话听得也少。 我非常同意她的看法，将来如果我当官，或升上职位的话，知心朋友也越来越少，不，因该说，我能接受的知心话会越来越少。那该这么办呢？

请大家不要自我中心，目中无人。。。如果你要快乐，要大家对你友善，那么， 你也要付出你的笑容。 这世上没有人会跟一个充满阴气重重，自私自利，往往指点别人的缺点的人在一起的，

（以上如果有白字或不通顺的句子，请读者多多原谅。。。谢谢！）
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