For the Love

In case anyone's bored, you can view pictures of my weekend here.  We had a yummy dinner at Outback on Friday, then we went to see The Guardian on Saturday.  We made a bet about who would die, and the loser had to buy the winner ice cream.  I won.  (To be honest, I was hoping I would lose so Stephen would let me pay for something for once, but no such luck.)  I don't really think I'm giving anything away by saying someone dies; people always die in movies featuring risky careers. 

Saying goodbye to Stephen was not so great, but lucky for me he's coming up here for my birthday weekend o' fun.  I'm having people over for a Saved by the Bell marathon at my apartment on Friday (how cool is that?), then on Saturday Stephen is taking me to dinner at The Melting Pot
,which I love and never get to visit because it's expensive.  If you've never had chocolate fondue and cheesecake, you are missing out.  We're also planning to finish registering for gifts (yay!), and I will be glad when that's over because it's time consuming and slightly annoying and one more thing I can check off the list.  After we went to a wedding on Saturday evening, Stephen and I planned out the music for our wedding ceremony, and I'm totally excited about it.  There's not a traditional bit in there, but I think it's going to be lovely and unique, which is what I'm going for.  (I do have a hymn and some instrumental music in it, but there's no "Wedding March" or "Canon in D" to be found.)  Only 229 more days!

P.S.  My paper presentation at the conference went really well.  The only comments I got were positive.  (I think it helped that the audience picked at the other woman's argument quite a bit.)

Tomorrow around 3 p.m. I will be on my way to see Stephen! Fall break is this Thursday and Friday, and it couldn't have come at a better time because I don't know how much longer I could have gone without seeing him. (It's been almost an entire month. That's a loooong time.) Our visit will be slightly interrupted by my attendance at the Southeastern Medieval Association (SEMA) conference, where I will present a paper that is not yet complete (or rather, it's complete but is entirely too long and not presentable in its current state). I'm less than excited about this conference, but mainly because I've never presented at one before, and I don't want people to think I'm arguing something completely preposterous and then call me out on it during the question and answer time. Or worse yet, what if someone asks me a question I can't answer? Fortunately for me, one of my professors suggested replying with, "That's a great question. What do YOU think?" but I don't know that responding in that manner would be appropriate for me. It might work for him, since he's a nationally and internationally known Anglo Saxonist, but I'm just a lowly grad student. If I could just attend this conference and listen to everyone else's papers, I think I'd enjoy myself immensely. Oh well, at least I get to stay in a hotel and don't have to pay for it because of the university's fabulous travel budget.

Oh, and I'm driving a nice little Pontiac Vibe for the rest of the week because my car is at a dealership being repaired. Poor little Chestnut Cruiser (my car) was hit in the parking lot on campus, and her driver's side tail light did not survive the impact. Fortunately for me, the guy who hit me was ever so nice and left his name and number, which restored in me some faith in humanity, and his parents happen to own a local dealership here in town and are taking care of everything. I really can't quite believe how easy the process was, considering that things never seem to be that easy for me, but I'll take it. I'll definitely take it.

After the conference I am heading to Memphis to spend the weekend at my parent's house, where Stephen will also be, and we're celebrating my birthday a week early at Outback because my parents are going to be on a cruise on my actual birthday. My best friend Emily will be there, as will hopefully my brother and sister-in-law and nephew, and it should be a great weekend. I miss my family.

There's really no point to this post. I basically just don't want to work on my paper. It's quite possible I'll still be working on it come Friday morning, and I'll have to read it off my computer screen. That would be entertaining, wouldn't it?

Here's to a four-day weekend of academia, family, and my love, Stephen. (You can commence gagging now.)

Long distance relationships stink. (Stephen and I are fine. There's just a lot to be said for a physical presence when one is in need of a little comforting, and Stephen and I both needed that today.)

I saw Little Miss Sunshine today with my roomie and her boyfriend. It was really fabulous (although the characters were overly fond of the "f" word). Here's what I learned: everyone is a loser. No, really. Everyone has a bit of loser in him/her. It's why we need each other, so there will be someone there to help push the bus until it shifts into gear (that part you will only understand if you've seen the movie). I'm glad I have people who help me feel like less of a loser. This post is for them. I love you.

Xanga is so quiet these days! Here's a survey, since no one's really reading this anyway.

A is for age:
24, but I'll be 25 in 16 days!! Presents will be accepted (I take checks or money orders or cold hard cash).

B is for beer of choice:
I choose not to drink beer. Gross.

C is for career right now?
Composition instructor

D is for your dog's name?
Sandy.

E is for essential item you use everyday:
Toothbrush!

F is for favorite TV show at the moment:
It's a toss-up between Grey's Anatomy, LOST, and Gilmore Girls.

G is for favorite board game?
LIFE. I know it's cheesy, but I just love it for some reason.

H is for home town:
Bartlett, TN

I is for instruments you've played/play:
Guitar, once upon a time.

J is favorite juice:
Orange, although I'm on quite an apple juice kick recently.

K is for whose ass you'd like to kick:
This is rather violent, isn't it? But I'd like to kick the Palladino's collective ass for leaving Gilmore Girls.

L is for last restaurant you ate at:
Wasabi, I think. It's been a while.

M is for would you marry someone now:
Heck yes! Colin Firth! (Just kidding, Stephen!)

N is for your full name:
Erin Nicole Hetzel, soon to be Erin Nicole Hetzel Mount (yay!!)

O is for overnight hospital stays:
When I was four I had surgery on my bladder or something. (I don't really remember the specifics; all I remember is having to get all my hair cut off for some reason.)

P is for people you were with today:
Not many, just the few students who dropped by to talk about their presentations.

Q is for quote:
"Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds." Shakespeare

R is for biggest regret:
Not getting certified to teach high school English.

S is for status:
Status of what?

T is for time you woke up today:
9:20

U is for the color of underwear you are wearing right now:
Who cares??

V is for vegetables you love:
Corn, potatoes, broccoli

W is for worst habit:
Picking at my nails or my lips.

X is for xrays you've had:
Just teeth, I think.

Y is for yummy food you ate today:
Grandma's chocolate chip cookies (they're the best kind!)

Z is for zodiac sign:
Libra

Is anyone else completely perplexed by what's happening on LOST? Exactly who ARE the Others?
******
(I put a version of the rest of this entry on MySpace a few days ago, so it might be a duplicate for some of you.)
I bought The Little Mermaid the other day, and I can't wait to watch it. This movie was an integral part of my childhood. I remember saving up my allowance for a month so I could buy this set of Little Mermaid dishes. I had a Little Mermaid doll, complete with removable fins, and I would reenact the whole movie with Ariel and Ken as the stand-in for Prince Eric. My little tape player almost died because I played the soundtrack so many times, and I sang every song from the movie straight through more than a few times. When I would go to my friend Heather's house to swim, we would pretend we were mermaids, and I can't even count the times that we would burst out of the water and flip our hair back, imagining the red tresses floating gently down onto our necks and backs. We were marine royalty, and it showed.

I've been thinking recently about imagination and creativity, and how it seems to die as I get older. My entire childhood was spent in a land of make-believe, and yet now I can't even write a decent short story. When did I lose the magic? When did the real world encroach upon my fantasy land? How do I make the magic come back? I hope when I have kids that I can be the parent who encourages them to visit faraway lands and make up fabulous tales of adventure and mystery and that I will be okay with them building a fort in the living room or jumping on all the furniture because if they touch the ground the crocodile will get them. I want to do this for them because I want to keep the magic alive. I want to do this for them because in so doing it I can become a kid again myself.

EDIT: I just bought The Little Mermaid! I'm sooo excited. I don't know how many years it's been since I last saw it, but I still know the words to almost all the songs. And why is it almost 80 degrees in October? It's fall! I want to wear sweaters, dang it!


Highs:

Logan and Rory interactions were super cute in this episode. Logan gave Rory a rocket, and at first Rory was completely perplexed as to what it meant, but then she remembered the Twilight Zone episode they watched on their first date. I don't really remember all the details about the episode, but Rory decides the rocket symbolizes true love. Rory wants to go to London for the summer to be with Logan, but when she calls him he tells her he bought her a ticket for Christmas. This crushes Rory, but she doesn't say anything, so that serves her right.

Sookie and Michel arm wrestled, and of course Sookie whipped Michel's butt. It was very cute.

Lorelai and Rory attempted sports as a way to get their minds off their respective boy troubles, and Lorelai gives herself a black eye. Their "no talking" rule lasts about two seconds, and the scene with them in the racquetball court is precious. It seemed like the Rory and Lorelai of seasons gone by.

Lows:

Luke and Lorelai are over. Waaaa. Although it pains me to admit it, they need to be broken up so they can both do a little growing and maturing. They also need to learn how to communicate! Lorelai gave this very heartfelt and moving explanation to Sookie about why she couldn't wait for Luke anymore, and if she had just told LUKE that, it could have saved a lot of heartache.

Taylor decides to install a red-light camera in Stars Hollow, and Kirk tests it out in Taylor's Thunderbird, which he proceeds to crash into the front of Luke's Diner. I was not a fan of this at all. It was over the top and completely absurd, and Taylor gets on my last nerve.

Luke comes to Lorelai's house at the end of the episode, having realized the error of his ways, and says he's ready to elope now. Too little, too late, Luke. Lorelai, perhaps in order to shut him up (as he talked more in this scene than in any other), tells him she slept with Christopher. This stunning blow does indeed shut him up, and Luke turns around and leaves, and fade to credits. Scott Patterson did an excellent job in this scene, and it was really heartbreaking.

I'm concerned about the direction of this season. Last season was my least favorite, and I would love it if this one were a huge improvement, but I just don't know. I suppose time will tell. Tonight's episode should be interesting at least.

I have been missing Stephen today (which is nothing especially new, since I miss him whenever I'm not with him, and I'm not with him way too much), and I thought how strange it is that he wasn't even a part of my life six months ago, and now I can't imagine what my life would be like without him.

My intent in writing this isn't to make you gag at my cheesiness, but to pose a question. When Jesus was here on earth-- the Son of Man, God made flesh--did He miss God? Did God miss Him? I know they are the same being, but they are also separate, and I suppose this is where the mystery of the Trinity applies. Of course, if Jesus was in constant communion with God while on the earth, then I don't guess He had much reason to miss Him, so perhaps this whole line of thought is preposterous. I just thought how sad it must have been for God to send away His Son to live with a people who would reject Him and ultimately murder Him. As much as I hate to leave Stephen whenever we have to part, I imagine the ache that Jesus felt was paramount, and probably coupled with a great deal of compassion and longing to go to these people who so desperately need Him. How torn he must have been, and yet he went willingly to the slaughter.

I don't think this post makes any sense, but I know that I can empathize with Paul when he writes in Romans 11:33, "Oh the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out!" Let us drink in the mystery of Him.