For the Love: 2009

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Out with a Bang

I have BIG news!

On Monday I weighed 183.4, which was a gain of .8 pounds. However, on Tuesday I weighed 181.2, which is a new low for me. I was very ecstatic about this but wanted to see if I could see it on the scale 2 days in a row so it would be more "official," and Wednesday morning I saw 181.0! I did it! I have lost 80 POUNDS (80.4, to be exact)! That is HUGE! I am so excited this happened right before the year ended. What a way to go into 2010! Even though I have lost only 31 pounds this year, I am still headed in the right direction. I am still making good choices. This new low gives me renewed confidence that I can reach my goal weight of 161, which is ONLY 20 pounds away! I am 80% of the way there. I can do this.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...

Have a happy New Year!

Monday, December 28, 2009

Back to Life, Back to Reality

Hello, blog world! I hope all of you had a Merry Christmas and got to spend time with friends and family. I had a great Christmas weekend, and I was sad to see it go. I love spending time with my family, and of course it’s also wonderful to have a little break from work. At least this week will be a four-day workweek as well!

Now for my progress report:

1. I ate fairly well but not great. I went way over my calorie limit on Christmas Day, I’m sure, though I do not know the exact amount due to the difficulty of tracking a lot of the stuff we ate (including a yummy dinner at a Japanese steakhouse). What helped me somewhat is the fact that I have been experiencing jaw pain, and so I have limited my intake to soft foods. Therefore I bypassed some foods I normally would have eaten with wild abandon (I’m talking about you, Rotel dip and chips). Of course, what didn’t help me is that pie counts as a soft food. :)

2. I was mindful of what I was eating. I think I did a good job of being aware of everything I ate and not just shoveling it in and then regretting it later.

3. I exercised on Christmas Eve and the day after Christmas. I also had planned to exercise on Sunday, but the treadmill at my parents’ house was acting wonky, and I felt as though I was going to trip and fall off of it. Had I brought some warmer workout clothes, I could have gone outside, so that was poor planning on my part.

4. I weighed 182.6 on Thursday (Christmas Eve), and this morning I weighed 183.4. Even though I gained weight, I am not that upset about a gain of .8 pounds, especially when I know they probably will be gone in a few days.

All in all, I thoroughly enjoyed the holiday and feel good about the choices I made. Now it’s back to business as usual, which means quality time on the dreadmill tonight because it is just too cold and windy outside. Fortunately, I have new running shoes to try out (I will write more about that tomorrow) and new tunes on my iPod (Jason Mraz’s newest live CD), so I think I can make it through!

How was your Christmas? Where did you go/who did you see?

Thursday, December 24, 2009

A Baby Changes Everything

This is definitely one of my absolute favorite Christmas songs. Enjoy.

Faith Hill, "A Baby Changes Everything":

P.S. My weight today is 182.6. I will report on Monday to let you know if I maintained, lost, or gained. I wish you all the merriest of Christmases!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

When to Workout

Ever since starting my weight loss journey, I have preferred morning workouts. I am not by nature a morning person, but I really like starting my day with exercise because I am more likely to get it done that way and I feel energized for the day. However, I’m now in a bit of a pickle. I workout at a college gym, and since right now is Christmas break, the hours of the gym have been reduced quite a bit, and they are no longer opening at 6 a.m. like they normally do. I have been going there more frequently recently, but now that the hours are all messed up for me, I had to think about what I wanted to do. I decided to do a trial period of working out after work. I also thought this would be beneficial for my devotional time, so I decided to wake up at 6:02 a.m., but instead of working out, I would read the Bible and pray, and then when I got off work, I would either go to the gym or workout at home. The first day of trying this, I woke up as usual and enjoyed the time in the morning before going to work.

What I didn't like was the time after work. I drove straight from work to the gym, changed out of my work clothes (almost losing my wedding rings in the process--I need to get them resized), and started my workout. I got in a good workout, but by the time I got home it was close to 6:30 and we hadn't even eaten dinner yet. Everything is pushed back if I keep this schedule, and I'm just not sure about it. For one thing, I am REALLY hungry for dinner by the time 5 p.m. rolls around, so waiting almost two hours later than that will be tricky. I guess I could eat a snack later in the afternoon to help tide me over. I don't like eating so late because then it feels like a good chunk of the evening is already gone. I also am bound to forget my gym bag one of these days, knowing my scatterbrained nature. So the long and short of it is: I like having my Bible study time in the morning, but I hate working out in the evening. I don't really relish the idea of getting up much earlier than 5:45 (which is the time I used to get up to go to the gym), but maybe I should consider that as well. For now I'm still doing the evening workout, but I don't know if I will continue or not after the new year begins.

Are there any evening exercisers out there who have any advice for me? Am I just being whiny? (Wait, don't answer that...)

Monday, December 21, 2009

I Am Determined

Back in July I wrote about a stack of clothes I received from a friend who had lost 40 pounds and could no longer wear the clothes. They are all size 14s, and I was hoping I would be able to wear them by the time fall arrived. Well, fall came and went, and those clothes are still in the closet. I tried on a pair of the pants the other day, however, and I can button and zip them comfortably, but they are still a bit snug in the thigh region. I don’t want all of these fabulous pants to go to waste and just take up space in the closet; I want to wear them and wear them proudly! And one thing I know for sure: I will NOT get into those pants by stuffing my face on Christmas and New Year’s.

I have but one goal for this next week: not to weigh more next week than I weigh this week. How do I plan to accomplish this? I am going to exercise, I am going to track everything I eat, and I am NOT going to stuff myself while at my parents’ house this weekend. I am going to enjoy the time with my family and not make it all about the food. Will I have a few treats? Yes. Will I enjoy them? Yes. Will I eat to the point where I feel as though I am going to burst? NO. I am determined to end the year feeling triumphant and not guilty. I am sick of losing weight one week and maintaining or gaining the next week (although I will definitely take maintenance over a gain). I need to get off the weight loss roller coaster and onto a stable path.

Stay tuned next Monday for a report on the holiday weekend.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Christmas Survey

I found this fun little survey on Caroline's blog (http://carolineandfredsmithwick.blogspot.com) and thought I would fill it out, too. Next week I will resume Friday Five with my top 5 Christmas albums!

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?

Wrapping paper, unless it's oddly shaped, and then I will use a gift bag. I have really come to love wrapping presents!

2. Real tree or artificial?

I think we only had a real tree a few times when I was growing up, and I really think an artificial tree is easier to deal with. Plus, it's better than killing a live one.

3. When do you put up the tree?

Usually the weekend before or after Thanksgiving, depending on our travel plans.

4. Do you like eggnog?

Stephen likes it, but it is too thick for me. Plus, a ½ cup has 140 calories! That's crazy!

5. Favorite gift received as a child?

Oh, wow, I don't even remember. Probably something related to Barbies.

6. Do you have a nativity scene?

Yes, I have one that my mom passed on to me.

7. Hardest person to buy for?

My parents.

8. Easiest person to buy for?

Stephen's parents. They give us options.

9. Mail or email Christmas cards?

I mailed cards last year, but I didn't this year. Sorry.

10. Favorite Christmas movie?

White Christmas.

11. When do you start shopping for Christmas?

Sometime in November, but I don't do the bulk of it until early December.

12. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?

Pie. Or the monkey bread my mom makes. Yummy.

13. Clear lights or colored lights on the tree?

We have clear lights on our tree, and I like them, but I also think colored lights are fun.

14. Favorite Christmas song?

"O Come, O Come, Emmanuel"

15. Travel or stay home at Christmas?

We travel. This year we will be in Memphis with my family.

16. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer?

You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen, and of course Rudolph!

17. Angel on tree top or star?

We actually have a big red bow on the top of our tree.

18. Open the presents Christmas Eve or Morning?

We have done it both ways. I am not sure what we will do this year, but it will probably be Christmas morning.

19. The most annoying thing about this time of year?

Shopping in crowds, all the hype about stuff.

20. What I love most about Christmas?

I love everything about Christmas–the celebration of Jesus, the music, the colder weather, the time with friends and family.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

This Post Brought to You by the Letter R for Random

I know this will sadden all of my readers greatly, but today’s post will be the last of the reader questions. I’ve taken long enough to answer these, right? Most of the ones I’m answering today are ones that I can answer quickly, so I thought I’d try and cover a bunch of them. Consider it an online survey made by you and answered by me!

From Mary, an excellent weight loss/health blogger:
What is your favorite hobby (um, besides blogging)?
This is rather sad, but I don’t know! I used to be an avid reader but now struggle with finding time to read, so the most I read is during my lunch break at work. I also used to play the guitar, and I am thinking about trying to learn how to play again.

If you could go anywhere in the world, right now, where would you go? Italy, all of it, but especially Florence and Venice. I have wanted to go to Italy for years and years. Someday I will get there. (Right, Stephen?) :)

From Renee, a lovely poet whose first chapbook is coming out soon:
Where do you see yourself in ten years? It is hard to imagine myself in 10 years, but I will be 38 (eek!), and I hope to have one or two children by then if the Lord wills. I hope to be at home with them, happily managing our household. I want to be as madly in love with Stephen as I am right now (or more so), I want to be pursuing the Lord wholeheartedly, and I want to be in service to the church in whatever ways I can.

What are some things you've improved on in the past five years, and what are some things you're still working on? I think I’ve become less of a perfectionist, which is a HUGE victory. I also have become more flexible, more confident, and less affected by unkind words. On the flip side, I am still far too concerned with what other people think, and I am still a very fearful and anxious person most of the time, and I know each of these things hinders my walk with Christ.

From Heather, another lovely writer:

What is your ultimate dream job? To have children and stay at home with them. If we’re talking outside the realm of probability, I’d love to work with dolphins. Or be a famous singer or writer.

How do you keep your spiritual life fresh? What devotionals/books would you recommend, specifically for women, if any? That’s a good question. I find that it helps me to have a reading plan of sorts, to give focus to my devotional time. For example, I just finished reading what I call the General Electric Power Company (aka, Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, and Colossians). I now have moved on to the minor prophets. I also like plans that take you through the Bible in one year. I haven’t actually read any devotionals directed toward women, but I love My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers. I also love this really wonderful little book called Stepping Heavenward by Elizabeth Prentiss. It’s comprised of journal entries that are a glimpse into the heart of a woman trying to follow God. I highly recommend it.

From Sarah E.:
Tell a funny/embarrassing story. When I was in middle school, I decided to run for student council vice president. To this day I really don’t know why I thought I had any chance of winning, but I was very gung-ho about it. Each candidate had to give speeches to each grade at different assemblies, and when it came time for me to give my speech to my grade, I completely froze, forgot I had notecards in front of me with ALL THE WORDS ON THEM, and rambled for a bit before bursting into tears and sitting down. Needless to say, I didn’t win the election. :)

From Lauren, a true bibliophile:
How do you cope with the munchies? I munch. Just kidding! (Well, most of the time.) I try to keep myself busy. I will chew gum or drink water, and if I am at home, I avoid the kitchen when at all possible. At work it’s not as hard because there’s no vending machine (praise the Lord), and I just bring one snack to work with me every day. If it’s at night and past my self-imposed curfew of 8 p.m., I try to ONLY eat if I am really hungry, and then I limit my selection to fruit. Brushing my teeth also helps a lot.

How has your journey towards being healthy effected your marriage? your relationship with friends? family? This is a really good question. I think my marriage has been improved in that I have been able to see just how supportive and awesome Stephen is. He has been my biggest cheerleader and source of strength during the whole process, and without him I don’t even know if I would have begun trying to lose weight. I was fine just talking about it until he asked, "How will you change it?" I don’t feel that my relationships with friends or family have been affected to much, besides the fact that they too have been so supportive and encouraging.

From Macy, who shares my love of all things purple:
Do you ever do creative writing? short stores? poems? It seems like you would be the kind of person who would, and if you do, sharing it here with us would be lovely! :)
I started writing when I was in the fourth grade and have always enjoyed it. (Back then, my favorite poem that I wrote began with, "Colors, colors everywhere, / A little here, a little there." Even then my genius was evident.) Although the only writing I have done in the past few years has been on this blog, I have always enjoyed writing and admired other people’s writing endeavors. In college I primarily wrote poetry, though I also dabbled in creative nonfiction and short fiction. I have stopped and started a novel at least 5 times. Maybe next year I will participate in NaNoWriMo and actually finish a novel. If you go through the blog archives, you can find some of the poems I posted on here. They’re mediocre at best.

So that’s it! I hope you feel as though you know me a little better. Thanks to all of you who asked questions and thanks to all of you who read my blog. I really appreciate it!

Monday, December 14, 2009

Sometimes the Hardest Thing and the Right Thing Are the Same

I have a confession: I have not been running. After the 5k I did in the beginning of October, I started running for shorter amounts of time, and then in November I started doing some speed work. I quickly injured myself and then had a hard time wanting to get back into running. I hardly ran at all after that, and it started getting colder so I began going to the gym more. While doing interval workouts on the treadmill at the gym, I would run, but only for 2-3 minutes at a time, or 5 at the absolute most because I utterly hate running on the treadmill. Then I started to feel like maybe I would just give up running altogether. After all, I liked walking, so why not just stick with that? However, walking doesn’t burn as many calories, and I was already walking at 4.3 mph on the treadmill, so how much faster could I really go before it turned into a jog? I had to be honest with myself and admit that running was hard and walking was easy, and let’s face it, I like easy.

But the easy choices are what made me fat. It was easier to eat fast food all the time and sit on the couch and watch TV all day. It was easier not to exercise. It was easier not to put thought into what I would eat. It was easier to give into every food craving I had. It was easier not to worry about calories or nutritional value. Easy, easy, easy.

However, the supreme irony of all of these easy choices is that they just made life harder. It was harder to get excited about shopping because I knew I would only have a teeny tiny area in the store from which to choose my clothes. It was harder to hang out with other people because I always felt like the biggest girl in the room. It was harder to feel good about myself because I hated how I looked. It was harder to walk up a flight of stairs or walk around the mall.

So even though running is hard, and even though losing weight is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, I’ve decided I’ll take hard over easy any day of the week.

This morning I ran for 20 minutes straight and walked for another 25, and I felt really good. I’m going to try and do 2 more 20-minute runs this week, and then I’ll bump it up to 25 next week, and 30 the week after that, until I am back to the running shape I was in during the month of August, when I ran my longest distance of 6 miles. I really would like to run a 10k and maybe even a half marathon in 2010, and that won’t happen if I don’t run (duh, right?). So here I go! It will be hard, but I have a feeling it will be worth it.

*The title of this post brought to you by The Fray's song "All At Once."

Friday, December 11, 2009

Friday Five: Classic Christmas Songs

I love Christmas music and look forward to listening to it every year. I usually try to wait until after Thanksgiving before listening to it, but I didn't make it this year. We decorated our tree the weekend before Thanksgiving, and of course you can't do that without listening to Christmas music!

Here are my favorite traditional, classic Christmas songs. Next week I will discuss modern Christmas songs that I love.

1. “O Come, O Come, Emmanuel.” This is my absolute favorite because not only are the lyrics beautiful, the melody is as well. Steven Curtis Chapman has a lovely version of it.

2. “O Holy Night.” There are about a billion versions of this, so I won't pick just one, but I really enjoy Celine Dion's and Josh Groban's versions.

3. “Joy to the World.” Faith Hill’s rendition of this song is perfect because it sounds so triumphant and grand.

4. “I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day.” MercyMe's interpretation of this song is amazing. And if you've never really read the lyrics to this one, I definitely recommend doing so.

5. “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.” I love it when Judy Garland sings this in “Meet Me in St. Louis.” Joy Williams also sings it beautifully.

Now it's your turn. What are your favorite Christmas songs?

Thursday, December 10, 2009

The Hardest Part

I have thoroughly enjoyed everyone's feedback on these questions, and it's been really helpful for me. Thank you!

Here's the third and final question from Jen: "What is the 2 or 3 hardest things about losing weight?"

My answer to this question has been different depending on where I am in my weight loss journey. When I first began, the hardest things were counting calories and exercising. Now those things are fairly routine for me. Then I struggled with comparing my rate of weight loss with that of others and feeling inferior as a result (and I still struggle with this to a degree, though I think I've improved). One thing I have struggled with the whole time is my desire for food and the emotional attachment I have with certain foods. I am constantly having to remind myself that food is not a solution to problems but is fuel for my body.

The hardest thing for me right now is fighting feelings of rebellion. Sometimes I just want to say, "Who cares about being healthy? Is it really worth all of this struggle? Why can’t I just eat what I want?" Of course, if what I wanted to eat were healthy, that would be fine, but the truth that I am still trying to absorb is that there is no finish line when it comes to being healthy; healthiness is a lifelong pursuit. I need to get used to it now and ingrain these healthy habits into my heart and mind so I can pass them on to my children someday.

If you have lost weight or are trying to lose weight, what has been the hardest thing for you?

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Just Out of Reach

Yesterday I answered Jen's questions about emotions and weight loss, and I enjoyed your responses to that post. After reading them, I wonder if struggling with body image is primarily a female issue. Are there any males out there willing to weigh in (no pun intended) on the question?

Today here is my response to Jen's second question: "Are you at your goal weight? What was your goal when you first started versus where you are now?

The answer is no, I am not at my goal weight. When I first started this process on January 21, 2008, I weighed 261 pounds and hoped to lose 100 pounds in a year. For some people that goal is very doable, but it ended up not being realistic for me. I managed to lose 50 pounds in the first year and then felt certain I would reach my goal in 2009. That too did not happen, and I find myself nearing the end of the year having lost under 30 pounds. Unless something approaching the miraculous happens before January 21, 2010, I will reach the two-year anniversary of my weight loss without reaching my goal of losing 100 pounds. I have a hard time with this because I have read so many weight loss stories where people took less time to lose the weight that I have and in fact lost even MORE than I have in less time. This is very disappointing to me, but I know the fault lies with no one but myself.

I have struggled with whether or not I still want to get to 161 pounds, but if I am honest with myself, I think that’s because I am tired of trying to lose weight and deep down don’t even believe I can get to my goal. I have been stuck in the 180s for the latter half of the year, and I am still trying to figure out what exactly isn’t clicking. I am thankful I haven't gained back all the weight I've lost, and I am slowly but surely moving in the right direction, but I feel like that final goal is always just out of reach. I'm open to any advice or wisdom anyone would like to share!

Monday, December 7, 2009

Mirror, Mirror

Jen, whose blog I love and read every day, asked me some great questions about my weight loss. Initially I was going to just answer one, but they are all kind of connected and are important, so I am going to answer all three of them in separate posts (since my attempt to write concise answers to each one failed miserably).

Today’s question:

"How have you dealt with the emotional effects of losing weight? Do you see yourself at the weight you really are?"

Emotions (and my inability to handle them properly) played a huge role in why I became fat, and they continue to play a huge role in how/why I lose weight. I think that part of the reason my weight loss has become stagnant is because I haven’t really gotten to the heart of all the reasons I gained weight in the first place, so they are still there below the surface. I struggle with being afraid of getting to my goal weight because then what happens if I gain it all back? I also don’t know how to handle compliments well, though I have gotten better. It both flatters me and bothers me a bit when people say, "You look beautiful! I didn’t even recognize you" because then I think, "Was I so ugly before?"

I do have a hard time knowing what I "really" look like now; sometimes I will catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and be surprised by what I see. I can’t get an accurate image of myself in my head, if that makes sense. Oddly enough, I had this problem when I was obese. I often told myself I wasn’t that big, and it was only until I would see pictures that I realized how fat I was. I don’t know how I can look in a mirror and not see what’s really there, but I do it all the time. I still imagine myself to be very large, and every now and I then I will realize anew that I am not so large anymore. I’m not skinny by any means, but I have lost a significant amount of weight and am not the same person I was when I started this weight loss journey. I am working on loving my body and appreciating all it allows me to do.

What about you? Do you see yourself in an accurate light?

Friday, December 4, 2009

Friday Five: Christmas Movies

I absolutely love the Christmas season, and there are some movies that I try and watch every year around this time. Here are my favorites:

1. White Christmas. This is such a classic and full of wonderful music, and the dancing is so fun! I never get tired of it. I love the scene when Rosemary Clooney sings "Love, You Didn't Do Right By Me" and is wearing that fantastic black dress.

2. A Christmas Story. The fact that I love this movie drives my family crazy because I always want to watch the marathon of it on Christmas day. I think it is just hysterical, especially the scene where they eat Christmas dinner at the Chinese restaurant.

3. Meet Me in St. Louis. Another classic musical. I don't know that this is actually considered a Christmas movie, but for me it is. I love Judy Garland in it, and the character of Tootie is adorable.

4. Elf. A modern-day classic, full of quotable lines. "I like smiling. Smiling's my favorite."

5. It's a Wonderful Life. Can you have a list of Christmas movies without including this one? I don't think so!

What are your favorite Christmas movies?

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

There's No Title to Make the Contents of This Post Seem Cohesive

I did my final weigh-in for November yesterday, and the scale read 185.6, which means I gained 1.4 pounds over the month, despite seeing a new low of 182.6 earlier in the month. OUCH. I wasn’t terribly surprised, however, since I did not track my eating while out of town, nor was I especially wise in my choices. I enjoyed myself thoroughly, however, and though my choices weren’t always the best, I was mindful of everything I was eating instead of just pigging out and then coming out of a food coma later and wondering what happened. So even though I gained 3 pounds, I honestly don’t feel that badly about it. I’m owning up to it and moving on. I am hopeful that I can shake the pounds soon and end the year on a high note.

Now, onto another reader question! Sarah E asked, "How did you decide to go to Union, what did you major in, and why?"

When I was in the eighth grade, a group of college students came to my church and did a Disciple Now weekend, which was basically Bible studies held in different homes. The girls who led my group were amazing, and I soaked up everything they said. They went to Union, and they talked about how they loved it there, and I just knew I was going to go there when I went to college. Fast forward to junior year, and I was getting ready to apply for college. I looked at other colleges and got invited to apply at a few of them, but I still had Union on the brain. I visited the campus and fell in love with it. In the fall of my senior year I submitted my one and only college application–to Union. I knew I was supposed to go there, and even though admission to Union carried with it a hefty tuition fee, I trusted that God would provide. I scored high enough on my ACT to apply for the highest scholarship offered by the university (tuition plus room and board), and I wrote my essay and went to an interview and waited anxiously to see what would happen. I was offered a full tuition scholarship, which eliminated most of the financial burden! I was so excited and couldn’t wait to graduate.

My time at Union was even better than I could have imagined. Though I was lonely and scared at first, I soon found a group of friends with whom I could be myself, and we made so many good memories. I was challenged in my walk with Christ through the chapel services and on-campus Bible studies and conferences, and because of Union, I was able to travel overseas to Thailand and Kenya on mission trips. If I hadn’t gone to Union, I wouldn’t have met three of the women who later were bridesmaids in my wedding–Emily, Marya, and Erin. Most of all, I wouldn’t have met my husband Stephen! Union will always hold a special place in my heart, and I am so grateful to have had such an amazing college experience!

As for how I decided on my major, I came into Union as an elementary education major but soon realized that while I enjoy little kids, I wanted my students to be able to tie their shoes and act somewhat mature, so I switched to an English major with a secondary education minor. I loved all of my English classes in high school and thought it would be great to have a major that focused on reading and writing. I took a ton of great English classes and loved my professors. At the end of my junior year I decided that I didn't want to teach high school, so I dropped my secondary ed minor (with only 2 classes and student teaching left to take) and changed to an incredibly generic minor called human studies, which is a conglomeration of several disciplines. I only lacked one class to fulfill the requirement. It was an easy way out of student teaching, basically. I regret not following through with it now, but I am still not sure I would be a good high school English teacher. I would have a hard time with classroom discipline.

So there's my long-winded response to your question, Sarah! I'm going to have to figure out how to shorten these answers so I can cover more than one question per post. :)

Now it's your turn: What did you major in during college, and do you use your major today?

Monday, November 30, 2009

All About Bailey

I know it's been an eternity since I solicited questions from all of you, but I am going to start answering them in earnest! I was so excited that one of my readers asked about our dog because now I can devote a whole post to our baby! :) Macy asked, "Do you have a dog? I think I remember you posting something about one a while back. I'd like to hear more stories about your dog and see more pictures of it too!"

Readers, meet Bailey Mount, a cocker spaniel/bulldog mix. Her parents were both purebreds who decided to date outside their respective breeds, hehe.

Stephen had no plans to get a dog but in 2004 was simply accompanying his friend Jonathan while he picked one out. But then he saw the little puppies, and the owner was having a 2/$50 special, so he thought, "Why not?" Stephen does love a good deal.

Here she is when she was younger:

I did not have the pleasure of meeting Bailey until 2006, when Stephen and I met for our first date. He came out of his apartment to meet me, Bailey in tow, and I was terrified. Bailey is not much of a people person, and she can sound quite ferocious when she wants to, so initially I was worried that my relationship with Stephen would end before it had even started because of this crazy dog, but I quickly charmed her.

Bailey is adorable and also rather quirky. Let me count the ways:

1. She likes to sleep covered up, so she has her very own blanket that we cover her with while she snoozes on the couch.

2. She loves playing with balloons. I don’t know how she doesn’t pop them (and occasionally she does), but she will grip one in her teeth and shake it around furiously, then parade around the room with it.

3. She hates it when I cough. This is so odd, but whenever I cough, her head jerks to attention and she stares at me. Often she will come over to me and just look at me, like she’s wondering if I’m dying or something. I like to tease Stephen that she loves me more because she couldn’t care less when he coughs.

4. She loves to snuggle. We both have recliners, and if I put mine up, she almost always wants to hop right up and nestle between my legs. If she is in my chair, she likes to face me, but often when she is with Stephen, she faces away from him. Again, she loves me more. :)

5. She grabs a toy to greet us whenever we come home, but doesn't really want to be petted. She just runs around with her toy in her mouth.

6. She likes to run underneath our legs.

7. She keeps all her toys around her bowls. She will even place her toys in her food bowl, then lift it up and put it back a few times before eating something.

8. She jumps in the bathtub when it's bath time.

9. She cocks her head a lot. She's a very responsive dog.

10. She learned the words to the song, "Bailey is my buddy" (which I made up and which contains the word "treat," thereby convincing her that every time we sing it, she needs to get a treat).

11. She wags when she plays dead.

12. Her tail whacks both of her sides when she wags vigorously.

13. She likes to sit on Sadie (Stephen's aunt's dog) and dominate her.

14. She can remove the plastic ring from around the top of a plastic soda bottle.

15. She is scared of the vacuum.

How could you not love this dog??

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Thankful

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

On Sunday my pastor preached on this passage, and I was deeply convicted. I tend to be a complainer, one who sees the worst in things, but such a disposition is not honoring to Christ, nor is it even pleasant to be around. No one wants to be around a person who constantly finds something to complain about. The admonitions in these verses are not optional but are commands Christians are to follow, yet how often I neglect prayer or allow difficult circumstances to overshadow my faith in Jesus! What I must constantly remind myself is that Christ wants us first and foremost to be holy and not happy, and therefore no matter my circumstances, no matter the trials I face, I need to be mindful that "these light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all" (see 2 Corinthians 4:16-18). Furthermore, as the pastor reminded us, we are always trying to figure out what God’s will is, and this verse explicitly tells us!

This week, not only because it is Thanksgiving but because I am challenged by these verses, I am going to try not to complain or grumble, but instead I will attempt to be joyful, prayerful, and thankful. If we all did this, how much better would our world be?

Friday, November 20, 2009

Friday Five: The Careers Edition

I'm bringing back the Friday Five! Feel free to post your own list, too!

What I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up

1. A writer. I started writing poems and stories in the fourth grade (Thank you, Mrs. Fisher!), and I thought it would be amazing to make a living being a writer. I knew I'd be a famous novelist someday.

2. Marine biologist or dolphin trainer. My love of dolphins also began in fourth grade, and I could think of nothing more wonderful than getting to study them and be with them in the water. Sadly, I hate science and have no desire to live in a wetsuit. :)

3. Teacher. My brother and I used to play "school" when we were little, which basically consisted of me being bossy and telling him what to do. That pretty much sums up our early relationship. I was quite obnoxious, I'm sure.

4. Fashion designer. I laugh at this a LOT now because I have no sense of style whatsoever, but I used to spend many an afternoon drawing sketches of clothes and dreaming of having my own clothing line.

5. A singer. Oh, how I wanted to be a singer! I would sing with my hairbrush for hours and hours. Mariah Carey had nothing on me. Ha.

What did you want to grow up to be?

Thursday, November 19, 2009

A Walk Down Memory Lane

I stole this from Heather, and it works out well because it answers the first question she had: How did Stephen and I meet?

1. Where/how did you meet: We both went to Union and met there because we had some mutual friends, but we didn’t really hang out or anything. I did drive him and some other people to see Star Wars: Episode 3, and apparently I insulted his singing (with the old "Who sings that song/why don’t we keep it that way?"comment). He remembers this, but I don’t because of course I never say things like that. :)

2. How long have you known each other: Um, I’m not exactly sure, but I am going to go with 6 or 7 years.

3. How long after you met did you start dating: A long time. Though we probably met in 2001 or 2002, we did not start dating until 2006, when I was in grad school at UT Knoxville and Stephen was working in Jackson. Stephen found my profile on MySpace, sent me a message, then I replied back. Before I knew it we were messaging several times a day, then we started talking on the phone and the rest is history. :)

4. How long did you date before you were engaged: Not very long! We started dating on May 5, 2006 and got engaged on Aug. 4, 2006. I’m sure some people probably thought we were crazy, but we just knew it was right, and we didn’t have any reason to wait. You can read the engagement story (and more about how we started dating) here.

5. How long was your engagement: Too long! I had to finish my second year of grad school, so we didn’t get married until June 2, 2007, 10 months after we got engaged.

6. How long have you been married: 2 years, 5 months, and 17 days. :)

7. What is your anniversary: June 2, 2007

8. How many people came to your wedding reception: I think about 150.

9. What kind of cake did you serve: The wedding cake was alternating layers of french vanilla and carrot cake, which is my favorite kind of cake. The groom’s cake was an amazing chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and strawberries on top. It was soooo good.

10. Where was your wedding: Carahills Estate in Eads, TN (aka, The Middle of Nowhere). You can read my post about our wedding here.

11. What did you serve for your meal: Since our wedding was at 1:00 p.m., we served hors d’oeuvres. I didn’t eat much of it so I can’t remember exactly what we had, but I know there was a chocolate fountain. :)

12. How many people were there in your bridal party: 4

13. Are you still friends with them all: Yes, though we don’t keep in touch as well as we should.

14. Did you or your spouse cry during the ceremony: I cried a ridiculous amount, through most of the vows.

15. Most special moment of your wedding day: Getting married to Stephen would have to be the highlight. :) I also loved that Stephen’s dad, who is a pastor, performed the ceremony. I might be a little biased, but I think it was one of the most meaningful wedding ceremonies I have ever heard.

16. Any funny moments: You can read about the infamous wedding present I gave Stephen here.

17. Any big disasters: Not at the wedding itself, but we did get ourselves locked out of the car while eating dinner at TGI Friday’s in Jackson. I had a minor meltdown in the parking lot because we were on our way to Nashville, and we couldn’t get in touch with anyone because everyone still had their phones off after the wedding. Finally, Stephen’s coworker Paul came by and took us to our apartment, where I ran inside and found a spare key.

18. Where did you go on your honeymoon: Chattanooga, TN. We stayed in Nashville at the Embassy Suites on Saturday night and then drove on to Chattanooga Sunday morning. Chattanooga is one of my favorite cities, and we had so much fun.

19. How long were you gone: 5 days

20. If you were to do your wedding over, what would you change: I would make absolutely certain that we got pictures taken with everyone! We didn’t get pictures of us with our grandparents, and that really breaks my heart.

21. What side of the bed do you sleep on: The right side. It’s weird, but in our other apartment, I slept on the left side.

22. What size is your bed: Queen

23. Greatest strength as a couple: Our friendship. Stephen and I are each other’s best friend, and we genuinely love to spend as much time as possible together. We have so much fun together, and we can be completely ourselves. He brings out the best in me.

24. Greatest challenge as a couple: My inability to handle conflict. I tend to shut down if we are disagreeing about something, instead of trying to talk through it.

25. Who literally pays the bills: Stephen

26. What is your song: "Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You" by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons

27. What did you dance your first dance to: We didn’t dance at our wedding. We did dance to Michael Buble in Stephen’s kitchen on one of our first dates, though. :)

28. Describe your wedding dress: The dress I wore was the first dress I tried on. My mom made me try on others, but I knew it was the one. It was a strapless A-line gown with a thick fuschia band at the waist and a gorgeous train trimmed with the same color fuschia. Here's a view of the back, which I loved:

29. What kind of flowers did you have at your wedding: I LOVED the flowers at my wedding. My bouquet had roses and stargaze lillies, and the bridesmaids had daisies and roses. Take a look:

30. Are your wedding bands engraved? No, they aren’t.

Feel free to fill this out if you're married. If you do, link to your post in the comments!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

It's Time for Reader Participation!

Well friends, I have to be honest with you: I am kind of struggling with this blog. I’ve been feeling guilty about not posting very often and stressing about what I am going to write next and then thinking that what I do write is boring or lame, and it occurred to me that getting worked up about something that is supposed to be a fun hobby is rather ridiculous. Wouldn’t you agree? I think part of the problem is that I have become a weight loss blogger, which is fine, but I used to write about a lot of different things, most of them random and disconnected, and I wonder if the narrower focus of my blog now is part of my problem. Or maybe after almost 5 years of blogging, I’m losing interest. However, I still love reading everyone else’s blogs!

In the hopes of reviving my blog a bit, I thought it would be fun if I let my readers help me decide what to write about, so here’s your assignment: leave me a comment and ask me a question (or two or three) about anything you would like me to answer! You could also make suggestions about posts I should write, whether or not they are related to weight loss. And of course if I use your question/suggestion, I will give you lots of link love. :)

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Because I Need the Reminder...

I want to lose the weight.

I want to be free from the scale, free from gluttony.

I want to feel good in my own skin.

I want to know I tried my hardest and did everything I could to lose the weight and didn’t just give up.

I want to stop making excuses for why I haven’t lost more weight.

I want to cease giving in to those little temptations and then playing it off and thinking I can just work off the extra calories.

I don’t want to stop now and wonder if I could have gone all the way.

I don’t want to let food rule my life.

I want to be brave.

I don’t want to turn to food for comfort.

I want GOD to be my only comfort.

I want to remove stress and despair and misery from my life by not allowing food to control me.

I don’t want to just read about the success of others; I want to be that success, too!

I want to exercise for the rest of my life.

I want to love the person God created me to be instead of wishing I were someone else.

I want to create healthy habits for myself and my family.

I want to model a balanced lifestyle, not a life characterized by obsession with food and weight.

I want to be a friend to myself and not constantly bemoan every flaw.

I want to go through a day fully in control of my eating.

I want to focus on family during the holidays, not food.

I want to view food in a healthy way.

I want to make food just one part of my life, not ALL of my life.

Christ is my all. He must become greater; I must become less!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

This and That

Yesterday I mentioned that I was cutting back on the sprinting I was going to do so I wouldn't risk getting injured, and then today what happens? I pulled a muscle or something in my thigh while sprinting. I'm not sure exactly what I did, but I felt a twinge, and then pain, so I stopped sprinting and walked a bit. The pain was still there but not as bad, so I tried sprinting again but only lasted about three seconds. I ended up walking the rest of the time, so I still got a workout though not what I had planned, and my thigh still hurts. I guess I need to be more careful. I wonder if sprinting on the treadmill would be safer, though I'm not sure why I think that. Any thoughts?

Jenny asked in the comments of yesterday's post if I had a rest day planned for this week, and in fact I don't. However, I feel like yesterday was pretty much a rest day since I did not wake up early to workout and saved my strength training routine for the evening while I was watching TV. On the days that I have planned to do strength training, I will only have about 20-30 minutes of activity, so that is why I don't feel like I need a designated rest day this week. Plus, I wanted to try and get in four days of cardio without having to do cardio and strength training on the same day. I know a lot of people do both in one day, but that has never worked out well for me Until I feel I have a solid routine in place, I am going to keep them separate.

The good news is that the 1.6 pounds I seemingly gained over the week were gone this morning and I was back down to 183.4. :) I cannot WAIT to be in the 170s; I've been in the 180s since early June! With Thanksgiving and Christmas around the corner, however, it will be a challenge. I think I lost a little early in December last year but had gained it back by the time the new year rolled around, but this year I am determined to end the year on a high note by seeing a new low on the scale, even if it's just one pound less! I haven't quite figured out my plan of attack just yet, so I am open to any suggestions you have for fighting the holiday food onslaught!

How do you plan to beat the holidays?

Monday, November 9, 2009

Pump It Up

I know you all have been waiting anxiously to hear how the appointment with the personal trainer went. :) To be honest, I was a little underwhelmed by the experience. She was very nice, very professional, but I feel like the plan she gave me is one I could have made for myself. Of course, the fact that I have NOT made such a plan is probably proof of needing some outside assistance, so for that I am grateful. We met for an hour, and she went through all of the exercises with me. The plan is divided into three days, with each day targeting different muscle groups. Day 1 is chest, shoulders, and back; day 2 is biceps and triceps; day 3 is legs; and on each of those days she also gave me exercises for the abs and obliques. No muscle grouping has more than 4 exercises with it, which surprised me. I guess I was expecting a longer workout, but I think I will be more likely to continue a strength training plan if it’s one that only requires 20-30 minutes per session. She told me that after a month I would need to change things up and get a new plan, but I think instead of calling her back, I will try and devise a plan of my own. With all of the resources available on SparkPeople and elsewhere on the internet, I don’t think that should be too hard. I have been sore after each workout, which is always a good sign. I took measurements over the weekend so I could see if my measurements change in a month’s time. It would be wonderful to see some inches lost since I feel as though I’ve stayed the same in that area for far too long. (I would like to blame my 1.6 pound weight GAIN of today on my recent strength training, but despite the fact that my TRAINER used the old "muscle weighs more than fat" line, I know better.)

As for running, I decided not to sprint on Friday after a few of my Spark friends warned me that it’s one of the easiest ways to get a running injury. So instead of doing it three times a week, I think I will devote one of my weekly runs to sprints, try to do one run at a 10:30 pace, and complete one slower, longer run. That’s a standard training schedule I’ve read about but never really tried out on my own, as I am more prone to run slow all the time, but I know I need to step it up. So, the plan for this week is:

Sun. 45 minute walk (DONE)
Mon. ST (legs) (DONE while watching TV)
Tues. Sprinting
Wed. ST (chest, shoulders, back)
Thurs. Run at 10:30 for at least 2 miles
Fri. ST (biceps and triceps)
Sat. 4 mile slow run (probably will do walking intervals, as it’s been a while since I’ve done more than 3 miles)

Have you been to a personal trainer? Was it a good experience? What is your exercise plan for the week?

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Running Just As Fast As I Can

I've exercised 3 times this week so far, so I've already beaten last week's poor performance! I have been waking up before my alarm goes off and then just hopping up right when it beeps. I think it helps that I have been getting to bed around 10 instead of 10:30 or 10:45, although last night was closer to 10:20. Still, every minute counts!

On Monday and today I did sprints outside, and I can really feel it in my thighs, which I wasn't anticipating. I have read that sprinting calls upon different muscles than jogging, and I think that must be true. It's exhilarating to run so fast in the cool morning air, and I love that it's light outside at 6 a.m., thanks to the "fall back" of this past weekend. Too bad that means it's dark when I am driving home from work, which I don't love! Anyway, here's the workout I devised for myself:

10 minute brisk walk (this is a little over one lap around my apartment complex)
Jog one lap (about 6 minutes for me)

Sprint for 20 seconds
Recovery walk (I didn't time these--just walked until I felt my heart rate slow down)
Repeat 7 times

Jog one lap
5 minute cool down walk

This ended up being about 48 minutes, and I felt tired but good after it was over. It wasn't a ton of sprinting, but I am trying to build my endurance for it. On Friday I am going to try and do 10 sprints instead of 8 and keep adding on.

Tomorrow is the big day: I am meeting with a personal trainer after work. She is going to give me a plan I can do on my own and go through part of it with me tomorrow. I am nervous and excited and will definitely report back to tell you if I survived the session. :)

Is anyone watching The Biggest Loser? This is the weepiest season ever! It seems like half the show is contestants crying, although last night wasn't as bad. What is up with that?? I don't even have a favorite like I did last season (Go Tara!), but I do like Allen, Rebecca, and Rudy. Who's your favorite?

Sunday, November 1, 2009

The Ugly Truth

I need a good kick in the pants, so here are some facts I'm using to give that to myself:

1. I only exercised twice this past week. In week 2 of October, I only exercised three times, and in week 3, 4 times. (I exercised 6 times in week 1).

2. In March of 2009, I saw 199.6 on the scale. 7 months later, I have only lost a little over 15 pounds. That's an average of 2.2 pounds a month.

3. I gained and lost the same 3 pounds for all of July and August and did not see a "new" low on the scale until the end of September.

4. The last time I ran 5 miles or more was in August.

5. I have been a size 16 since February.

6. I have not had a consistent strength training routine since February.

7. I have become too dependent on having a dessert after dinner. Recently, more often than not I am choosing the unhealthy food over the healthy one.

These are not good things. I am not happy when I realize how much I'm not committing to this healthy lifestyle. I am not happy when I realize how I am squandering the life God has blessed me with. But I don't want to just moan and cry about it, I want to change. As Stephen just reminded me, there are still 2 months left in this year, and while I can't change the past, I can live in the present and make it worth living.

Tomorrow I am going to make an appointment with a personal trainer. This scares me beyond belief, probably because I am afraid of being told how out of shape and weak I am and because I don't like trying new things. But I need to do something to shake things up, and I need some guidance in the strength training department, so perhaps this will help.

So there you have it. I'm a mess. But I'm trusting that God can still make something beautiful out of it.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Snooze Button, How I Love Thee

I am struggling with waking up for my morning workouts. The first two weeks I did pretty well, but ever since then it has been hard to drag myself out of bed when 5:45 or 6:00 a.m. rolls around. As a result, I haven’t made it to the gym very many times but instead have ended up working out at home, which is fine, but it is harder for me to do intervals without a treadmill to help me gauge my speed. This week I even tried scaling down the days I wake up early, planning to get up early only on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. So far, though, I still haven’t gotten out of bed until 6:05 or 6:10 (and today I may not have at all if Stephen had not sent in Bailey to come and wake me up with a bunch of doggie kisses). :) I definitely don’t want to workout at night because I am tired by then and that is the only time I have with Stephen, so the alternatives are 1) become a lazy bum or 2) get my act together and wake up when the alarm goes off. Obviously I’m not choosing option 1. :) For you early morning risers, how do you make sure you get up when the alarm goes off? I read something recently about how sleeping in your workout clothes helps motivate you to get up in the morning, but I'm a little skeptical. Has anyone tried this? Does it work?

Friday, October 23, 2009

Birthday Blessings

Yesterday was my birthday, and I woke up bright and early at 6:02 for my workout. As soon as I left our bedroom, I was greeted by a happy birthday balloon. A couple more were hanging on the bathroom mirror, and then I saw that the whole living room and dining room was decorated in honor of my birthday! What is super sweet about this is the fact that Stephen worked from 8-12:30 a.m. that night and then came home and decorated so I would see it when I got up!

Stephen got up around 7:30 so I could open my presents before work, and he got me some Yankee lavender aromatherapy candles and another present which made me giggle immediately. Let me show you why:

He got me a Snuggie! I will totally use this, even though it looks completely ridiculous. Commence with the mocking if you like. :)

After work Stephen surprised me with another gift: Blushing Cherry Blossom perfume from Bath and Body Works. It smells so pretty! He also got me these:

Aren’t they perfect? Then we went to dinner at Red Robin. Stephen had never been, and I got a coupon for a free burger since it was my birthday. I got the Bonzai Burger, which was delicious and enormous, and I ended up not finishing it or my fries. Then we went to Kohl’s to shop because my lovely in-laws gave me a gift card, and I had money from my brother and Stephen’s grandmother. Stephen faithfully accompanied me while I visited pretty much every department of the store. I tried on a bunch of stuff and modeled it all for Stephen, who provided his very helpful feedback for me. I ended up getting a new purse, new boots, several new sweaters, and another water bottle (I know, I know, I have an illness, but it was on clearance for $2.59! Plus I'm getting rid of one that's not BPA free, so it's a net gain of zero, really).

After shopping we had ice cream cake from Baskin Robbins, and it has cookies and cream ice cream and chocolate cake and zero calories (haha, just making sure you’re paying attention).

All in all, I had a great day, thanks to my wonderful husband. Even though Stephen doesn't get very excited about his birthday, he knows I am all about celebrating mine, so he always makes them special. I love you, honey!

Do you get excited about celebrating your birthday?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

A Clean Slate

Has anyone else ever gone on autopilot while eating? I did tonight. I was still hungry at 8 p.m., which is my self-imposed curfew. I had already eaten blueberries and we had no other fruit in the house (sad, I know), but I really wanted to eat something, so I had a handful of tortilla chips. Then another handful. And then two cups of chocolate chip ice cream.

All while watching The Biggest Loser. Yes, I am THAT person. Jillian would eat me for breakfast.

The whole time I was eating, I knew I needed to stop, but I didn't. It was almost as if I just turned off my brain and let my mouth take over. Now I feel sick and gross.

Why did I do it? Should I not be past these kinds of binges? Should I not be able to resist these urges to snack? Yes, but as I've realized, that doesn't always mean I will make the right decisions. Gluttony is a sin I will probably battle to some extent for the rest of my life, and I need to always have my guard up and remember to take captive those wayward thoughts and make them obedient to Christ. The challenge is to move past it, not dwell on it and pout and use it as an excuse to make MORE bad decisions. Every day I have to choose to live a healthy life, to love God and not my stomach, and every day I have to accept that I am responsible for the choices I make, whether good or bad. Today was not so great, but as Anne Shirley says, "Tomorrow is a new day, with no mistakes in it." I am going to make the most of it.

Praise God, whose mercies are new every morning.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Haircuts and Ribs and Clothes, Oh My!

This weekend I visited a true Memphis gem: Charlie Vergos' Rendezvous. The restaurant has been featured on The Food Network and I'm sure in countless other places, and even though I lived in Memphis for most of my life, I had never been. When my parents offered to take me out for a birthday dinner (my birthday is on Thursday), after much thinking, I decided on Rendezvous. We went early (around 4 p.m.) so we wouldn't have to wait forever, and we stopped out front for a photo op:

Rendezvous is most known for its ribs, so I decided to order a small order of those, while Stephen got BBQ nachos, my dad got beef brisket, and my mom got the pulled pork shoulder sandwich. The food did not disappoint. Rendezvous serves their ribs dry, but I added some BBQ sauce to mine, and they were delicious. I ate every bit, but only sampled the beans and slaw that came with them.

After dinner, we headed back to my parents' house for cake, specially ordered from Brown Baguette. My dad called me earlier in the week to pick a cake, and after much deliberation, I settled on the Raspberry Ganache ("A rich chocolate cake filled with seedless raspberry marmalade and chocolate buttercream then covered with creamy chocolate ganache."). It looked divine. See for yourself:

It also tasted delicious. Mmmm good! You'll be happy to know, however, that I left the rest of the cake with my parents. Of course, Stephen is going to have a birthday cake for me on Thursday, so I won't be without for too long. :)

I also got a haircut Saturday morning before we went to Memphis, and while I didn't love it on Saturday after I fixed it (I worked out after I got it cut so couldn't take advantage of professional styling), but I felt better about it on Sunday, so here's a pic:

It's super easy to fix, which is just what I need, and I didn't lose much of the length, which also makes me happy.

Finally, to end a great weekend, my mom took me shopping so I could get some new clothes. I pretty much had no winter clothes because everything was too big, so I was definitely in need of a wardrobe haul. We found lots of great stuff, and I am so thankful to my parents for outfitting me for the fall. I also have money from my brother and a gift card from my in-laws, so I should be more than covered as far as clothes go. It's so fun going shopping now because there are so many options and such cute clothes!

So that was my weekend in a nutshell. We had a great time in Memphis, and I can't wait for my actual birthday. Stephen has some surprise gifts up his sleeve. :)

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Good News and a Conundrum

I have wonderful news. I’m overweight!! That may seem an odd thing to be excited about, but this morning I weighed in at 184.8, which means I am officially out of the "obese" BMI range! I don’t put a ton of stock in BMI as a measure of health, but I am glad to no longer be in that category, even if I haven’t felt obese in quite a while.

When I set my goal to lose 100 pounds, I knew that even reaching 161 wouldn’t put me in the "healthy" BMI range. For my height (5'6"), I would need to weigh no more than 154 to be in the healthy range, and while that’s only 7 pounds less than my goal weight, I don’t see myself reaching and maintaining that weight because I don’t think I’ve been that small since who knows when. Because I’ve been overweight for most of my life, I have no idea what a realistic weight is for my body. At this point, I’m not even sure I’ll ever get to 161.

If I’m honest with myself, these past few months I haven’t been 100% committed. I’ve allowed myself to eat things I know aren’t the best, and I actually skipped workouts two mornings in a row this week. That’s certainly not going to get me there. I do know I don’t want to gain weight, so I now need to decide how much work I’m willing to put into losing more weight. The truth is, I’m pretty comfortable where I am right now, but does that mean I stop trying for the goal I originally set? I can't seem to make up my mind.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Negative Nelly

The fabulous Jen left the following comment on my last post: "Lady lady lady, so many people are reading your blog right now and are thinking 'wow, I wish I could run a 5K.'" I immediately felt bad for whining about my time, especially when I was so annoyed by the woman at the race who talked about her "slow" time. I should be thankful I had the chance to run at all. I should be thankful for what my legs have gotten me through, for all the miles I've walked and run. Considering the fact that a few years ago I never would have even considered running, I've come a long way.

One of my biggest flaws is my tendency to dwell on the negative, and I need to be more aware of how this negativity manifests itself, not just in weight loss but in all areas of my life. If I am anticipating an event in my life, I usually don't expect much beforehand because I am too busy thinking of all the things that can go wrong. I used to tell myself that not getting my hopes up about things just protected me from disappointment, but really, I'm just not brave enough to dream. I'm too scared to truly let myself imagine great things. What does this say about me and my faith in God? Certainly nothing good. I want to know and believe deep deep down that He is able to do "immeasurably more" than all I ask or imagine. I don't want to be plagued by doubt and fear. That is no way to live life, especially not a life that is meant to glorify God.

Are you brave enough to dream?

Sunday, October 11, 2009

It's Fun to Run at the YMCA

I ran in my second 5k race on Saturday, and it took place at the local YMCA. I was really excited the night before the race and took great care in selecting a playlist that had the perfect blend of uptempo songs to carry me through. I wasn't too worried about the race itself but was anxious to beat my previous 5k time of 34:19. I felt that my chances of this were fairly good, since I am a more experienced runner now, and the weather was predicted to be cloud and cool--great running conditions.

We got to the race site around 8:30 a.m., 30 minutes before start time. After checking in and getting my free stuff, including a long-sleeved shirt (score!), we hung out for a while, I went to the bathroom twice (just to be sure!), and I realized that it was quite chilly outside. I had a debate in my head about whether or not to wear my jacket on the run, but I finally decided to go without it and hope for the best. Around 5 minutes before the race, someone called for all the runners to head to the starting line, which was at the base of a small hill by the Y. As we were walking down there, I heard a woman talking about how she was sure the men were just going to breeze past her as she "trudged" across the finish line in 27 minutes. I turned around and said, "I"m a lot slower than that, so you'll be fine." I know that for experienced runners, 27 minutes isn't a great 5k time, but it would be a DREAM time for me, so it kind of annoys me when people talk like that's a turtle pace or something.

Anyway, there were only about 50 people at this race, so we just kind of assembled in a random bunch, and then we were off. Just like last time, I started too fast, but I tried to then slow up a bit so as not to wear myself out. I definitely felt the chill in the air as I ran (I think it was about 50 degrees), and the wind blowing didn't help matters, but I just hoped I would warm up (and I did--fairly quickly). When the second song started playing, I realized I had forgotten to take my iPod off shuffle, so none of my carefully selected songs played in the order I had intended. Oh well!

It wasn't too long before I realized that something odd had happened: I was practically running by myself. There was a group of runners ahead of me, barely within sight, and then there was a group of runners behind me, and then I was all by myself, apparently running at some bizarre, in-between pace! It was like that for the first 15 or 20 minutes, and while it was a little weird to me, I didn't mind it too much. The first mile came and went, and when I realized I had completed it in 10:30, I was elated. I was sure to beat my previous time if I could keep up this pace.

Then the hills came.

I thought the last 5k I ran had some bad hills, but this course had even steeper ones. There weren't as many as in the last course, but the ones there were were long and steep. I started out trying to jog up them, but had to stop to walk a bit, and then I would try and run really quickly down them. As I was going down a particularly steep hill, I saw the first of the runners coming back up, and I groaned inwardly, realizing that I too would have to go back up the hill. I hit mile 2 at exactly 22 minutes in, and I realized I was losing ground, but I knew I had to deal with more hills, so I just focused on my breathing and tried not to be discouraged. Mile 3, just like my last race, seemed to last the longest, and technically it did because it was my slowest mile. The hills just took it out of me, I once again choked on the water offered at the water station, and my chest started burning from the cold. I took several walking breaks and began to wonder if I would even finish in under 36 minutes. When I rounded the final corner and saw the end of the course in sight, I just made myself run as fast as I could, determined to at least finish strong.

I crossed the finish line at 35:34.

I'm not gonna lie, I was really disappointed in this time and completely frustrated after I finished. I felt like I should have easily been able to beat my previous time, but I didn't. Still, I tried to remind myself that I finished, and I had now done two 5ks, but I still haven't managed to run an entire one.

When I crossed the finish line, I was given a card with my place number (#34) and took it to a table, where I filled in my name, age, and gender. I wrote my last name a bit sloppily but told the woman, "I don't think it matters that you can't read this because I doubt I placed." She said, "You never know because we give prizes according to age group." I just laughed and went inside. There was a pancake breakfast (I had one pancake and doughnut hole), and we waited for the awards. A man brought in the board with all the age ranges and the cards attached to them, and I was trying to see if by some miracle my card was up there, but a man was blocking it. Then he moved, and I told Stephen, "I think I see my card up there!" And sure enough, when the winners in the 25-29 age group were announced, I won second place in my age division! I got a little trophy and everything! I couldn't help but laugh to myself about it because I thought my time was completely terrible and was so unhappy with my performance, and yet I got a trophy for it. Life is funny sometimes, isn't it? All in all, I'm glad I did it, and I am determined to do better in my next race!

Here are a few pictures from the day.

Waiting to start:

Crossing the finish line (Stephen took one of me running, but it came out blurry):

My fabulous trophy:

And here's my playlist, for those of you who are curious:

1. "Mother, We Just Can't Get Enough" by The New Radicals
2. "Viva la Vida" by Coldplay
3. "Spotlight" by MUTEMATH
4. "Girl Named Tennessee" by Needtobreathe
5. "Sahara" by Relient K
6. "Clocks" by Coldplay
7. "Control" by MUTEMATH
8. "Burn Out Bright" by Switchfoot
9. "The Nerve" by MUTEMATH
10. "The More" by Downhere

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Get Your Body Running, Head Out on the Highway

Today I signed up for my second 5k! It’s benefiting the local YMCA, and it’s on Saturday. I was a little hesitant to sign up for one that comes up so quickly, but I think I am ready for it. I’ve been running steadily since my last 5k, so it should be easy, right? :) I would LOVE to beat my previous time of 34:19, but I also feel a little nervous about making that a specific goal because I don’t want to be disappointed if it doesn’t happen. That’s lame, I know. I just know that my speed hasn’t increased much, if at all, so I don’t know if I can beat that time or not. For now my goal is to finish it under 36:00. I will walk through the water stations because running through them just caused me to choke on the water last time, but I am hoping to run the rest of it. I don't know anything about the course, so if it's hilly that may change, but I am just going to have fun.

I also think I am going to run in the Memphis Race for the Cure at the end of the month. I have friends whose relatives have been affected by breast cancer, and so I am glad to have the chance to run for such a worthy cause. Last year I wanted to do it but knew there was no way I could run a 5k. This year I know I can because I already have!

Now all that's left to do is put together the perfect playlist for my 5k on Saturday! I will definitely post an update after the race.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Update and October Goals

I can’t believe it’s been almost a week since my last post. My apologies. I haven’t quite figured out how to fit blogging into my new routine. I started my new job as a receptionist at a local law firm last Wednesday and had training last week with the receptionist I replaced, but this week I’m all on my own. There’s a lot to learn, but I think it’s going well so far.

The biggest adjustment for me has been working from 8:30-5. I was used to a university teaching schedule, where I had free pockets of time throughout the day and wasn’t glued to a desk. I would teach classes, keep my office hours, then either stay at my office or run errands if I needed to, but those days are gone. However, I realize that most of the world has this schedule, so I need to get over it, right? :) The benefit to working all day is that I am not at home where all the food is, so snacking is limited to the one snack that I bring (either raisins or a FiberPlus bar). However, I am STARVING by the time I get home, so the key will be not to go overboard with dinner. I am going to keep my 8 p.m. food curfew in place in the hopes of curbing any nighttime snacking urges.

I did fairly well with my September goals. I kind of dropped the goal of running 120 minutes a week about halfway through the month and am okay with that. I'm focusing more on intense, shorter runs. Aside from the one ICEE slip-up, I drank nothing but water all month. I did immediately drink some Coca-Cola on October 1 (and also had some on Oct. 2 and 3 and today), however, and I enjoyed it thoroughly. :) I still plan on drinking mostly water, though. I did a great job of tracking my food and not eating after 8 (I think I only ate after 8 twice, and I tracked all of my food every day). I faltered a bit in my Bible reading plan last week, but I am just continuing with it and trying to read as much as I can on my lunch breaks. I only read one book. I lost 3.4 pounds, and though it wasn't quite 4 pounds, it was close enough. :)

Even though I didn’t post about them, I did set goals for October. Here they are:

1. Complete two High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) runs per week, for a minimum of 25 minutes per session. I have been using a modified version of a plan I found in Fitness magazine, and it is TOUGH! It gives me something to work up to, though, which is what I need.

2. Complete one Pilates session and at least one weight session per week. Ideally I’d like to do two weight sessions, but I am going to aim for just one because I want to see how my schedule works for me. I am really enjoying the Pilates workouts.

3. No eating after 8 p.m., except for fruit (but only if REALLY hungry). This worked well for me last month, so I’m going to continue it.

4. Run in at least one 5k race. I have my eyes on a few, so I just need to pick one (or two) to run!

Those are my only goals for the month. I’m trying to keep it simple as I adjust to my new schedule. I really have no idea how much I’ll be blogging, but I am trying to keep up with your blogs, even if I don't comment!

Do you have any October goals?

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