Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Counting My Blessings

When I was in the hospital, I had a lot of time on my hands. One thing I did to keep myself occupied was make a list of the blessings I experienced. It helped me to focus on all the good things that God was doing through a difficult situation, and it was a tangible way for me to see how well He was taking care of me. I thought I would post the list here, especially since Thanksgiving is tomorrow, and I have so much for which to be thankful.

Blessings in the midst of a trial:
  • doctor ordering a retest for C diff and finding out I didn't have it
  • getting flowers from my boss and my previous place of employment
  • visits from friends, family, and several ministers from my church
  • cable (especially HGTV!)
  • my Kindle Fire
  • free wifi
  • unlimited texting (I would have been in BIG trouble if not for this)
  • sweet nurses
  • getting Chic-fil-A sweet tea from one nurse
  • getting off IV fluids
  • getting IV out of left arm
  • taking a shower with both hands
  • my iPhone
  • eating real food and not just liquids
  • Popsicles and ice cream
  • sleeping pill
  • getting the right diagnosis
  • being able to walk around 
  • health insurance
  • slippers
  • getting blood drawn without pain (this one lab tech was AMAZING)
  • getting to watch my church's service on TV
  • a pink robe
  • the YouVersion Bible app (I listened to a lot of Scripture read aloud using this app)
  • peace from the Lord
  • comfort and a lack of worry (this is HUGE for me-I am a chronic worrywart)
  • feeling hungry
  • getting to see Charlotte
The biggest blessings by far are definitely my parents, Stephen's parents, and most of all, my husband. My parents live in Memphis and made the trip back and forth to Jackson more times than I can count. They kept Charlotte for three straight weekends to give Stephen a break, and my mom came up when Charlotte had her stitches and then waited with me in the emergency room, and she and my dad visited as often as they could. I truly don't know what we would have done without them.

Stephen's parents came down from Illinois last Wednesday and stayed until Sunday. They cleaned, they bought groceries, they cooked, they cared for Charlotte, and so much more. It was a tremendous help and comfort to me to have them here after I got home so I could try and get as much rest as possible. I feel so blessed to have such amazing in-laws.

And Stephen. I can't even put into words how amazing he has been. He has been my rock and my support through all of this, never complaining. I think the bond that he and Charlotte have is even stronger now because he was essentially her primary caregiver for weeks, and she never has to doubt how much he loves her. I am forever grateful that God brought us together for such a time as this.

With all of these blessings, how can I have anything but joy in my heart?

May you find an abundance of blessings in your own life. Happy Thanksgiving!


Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Through It All, I See His Love

I have no idea how to even begin to explain everything that has happened over the last several weeks, so I thought I would construct a timeline. I want to remember all of it (although I'm pretty sure I will even if I don't write about it). Some of it may be TMI, but I've lost all sense of modesty when it comes to bodily functions. :) The timing of this post is brought to you by Prednisone, which keeps me up at all hours of the night.

October 12: I started to experience diarrhea but didn't feel too bad and managed to run a 5k the next day.
October 16: I was still having diarrhea, but this is the last day I truly felt well. I ran 4 miles that night.
October 18: I started to feel worse--nausea, fatigue, loss of appetite.
October 20: While in Memphis celebrating my upcoming 31st birthday, I ran a fever.
October 21: Made my first trip to convenient care and was told I had a UTI. I still don't know why I didn't argue with that diagnosis, but I have never had a UTI before so I trusted the doctor and took the medicines he gave. He said for me to come back in 2 days if I didn't feel better.
October 23: I was not better at all, so I went back to convenient care. At this point, I experienced abdominal pain every time I walked or even just stood up. I was sent for a CT scan, which showed that my colon was inflamed. I was given 2 different antibiotics to treat the infection (Flagyl and Cipro).
October 24-26: I still felt bad but tried to work and retain some sense of normalcy. At this point Stephen was pretty much handling everything at home.
October 28: I went back to convenient care and felt like I was going to pass out when my name was called. The doctor ordered stool cultures.
October 30: The doctor called and told me I had tested positive for C diff. He increased my dosage of Flagyl and discontinued the Cipro.
October 31: I made it through about 30 minutes at our church's trunk or treat with Charlotte and then felt completely horrible the rest of the evening.
November 1: I established care with a primary care physician, who told me I needed to give the medicine a little more time work.
November 2: I ran fever and got sick to my stomach that night and felt miserable all weekend.
November 4: Charlotte fell and cut her ear, requiring a trip to the hospital. She had to be admitted so the plastic surgeon could put 12 stitches in her left ear. The whole experience was awful in itself but was compounded by the fact that I felt like I was dying the whole time we were waiting in the triage room. I even talked to the doctor there about how I was feeling, and he advised that I just go home and rest. Even though it killed me to miss my baby's surgery, I also knew I just didn't have the energy for it.
Snuggling with Daddy in the triage room

Smiling even at 1 a.m. the night she was admitted
November 5: Charlotte came home, doing really well given the circumstances. My mom, however, determined that we were going back to the emergency room and that someone was going to listen to me about not getting better. We got there at 2 p.m. and did not get called back to a room until 9 p.m. It was the longest 7 hours of my life, and I went to the bathroom literally every 30 minutes. My pulse was 118 (as though I had been doing a light cardio workout), and my potassium level was dangerously low. I had a repeat CT scan that night, and my colon was still inflamed.
November 6: My doctor in the hospital, Dr. Lofton (whom I really liked) decided to repeat the C. diff test, and it came back negative. I never had C diff, but I had been treated for it for 2 weeks. On this day I also met my GI doctor, Dr. Szych (it was a God thing that he happened to be the one on call because I had previously had an appointment to meet with him on November 7). I worked on eating with my right hand, since I couldn't bend my left arm due to the IV being there (they had started it in my right arm initially, but it stopped working while I was still in the ER).
My dinner one night. Yum.
November 7: I had a colonoscopy (never thought I'd have THAT before age 50!). Dr. Szych felt pretty certain that I had ulcerative colitis, but he wanted to wait until the biopsies came back before he confirmed this. I was started on IV steroids.
November 8: The biopsy results confirmed a diagnosis of ulcerative colitis, and Dr. Szych told me that I have a pretty moderate to severe case. After being on a liquid diet since being admitted, I was thrilled when I was allowed to have soft foods at lunch this day, but my stomach didn't tolerate it, so I went back to full liquids at dinner. In other news, I don't recommend pureed egg.
November 10: This was a good day. I got the IV in my left arm removed , so I was able to use my left hand more freely, and I got to take a shower using both hands. My sweet nurse that day also brought me a large sweet tea from Chic-fil-A, which was amazing because the hospital tea was basically brown-colored water. They placed the new IV in my right hand, so my mobility was much improved. I was on the same floor as the newborn nursery, so I took short walks in the hopes of catching lots of baby cuteness, but I think I saw about 3 babies the whole time I was there! Selfish mommies must have kept them in their rooms with them all the time. :)
November 11: I was feeling some better and hoped I would get to go home, but the doctors decided I needed one more day.
Snuggles with my baby.
November 12: I was finally discharged! I got home around 5 p.m. and got to miss the hospital's meatloaf. I am taking Prednisone and another medicine called Asacol, which I have to take 3 pills 3 times a day.
Lots of pills
It has been quite the roller coaster since I have been home. I didn't feel significantly better the first few days, and on Friday I actually went back to convenient care because I felt so dizzy and weak and had lost 14 pounds just since being home, but all my lab work came back normal. Sunday, however, I think I finally turned a corner. I went to church that morning for the first time in 5 weeks, and on Monday I even worked a half day of work (though it completely exhausted me). Charlotte is also doing better, although she has understandably been super clingy. After not seeing her for the better part of week, I will take all the snuggles I can get!
Happy girl
Some might look at all of this and think I have very little to be thankful for, but I couldn't disagree more. This whole experience has given me an entirely new understanding of the Lord's goodness and mercy in my life. He has more than made Himself known to me in my time of deepest need, and I know now more than ever that He is true to His promises. I have said more than once that if it took all of this for me to see God reveal Himself and refine me in this way, then it was all worth it, and I would do it all again. The love of Jesus has seen me through this, and the love of Jesus can see you through whatever you too may be facing. I can't tell you enough how much you need Him. I can have the healthiest body in the world, but if I don't have Him, I am lost. If you have questions about what it means to have a relationship with Jesus, please comment or email me. I would love to tell you all about Him.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Home Sweet Home

Well, I can officially check "Spend one week in the hospital" off my bucket list. I am home now, though, and my heart is full of the goodness of God.

More to come later!

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Still Sick

I wanted to write a quick update to let you all know what is going on with my health. I found out on Tuesday that I have what's called C difficile, which is a bacterium that has infected my colon. Most people who get this have spent time in the hospital or been on long courses of antibiotics, neither of which applies to me. Even though I don't know how I got it, I have it, and I am still not feeling well. This has without a doubt been the worst I have ever felt, even worse than when I had mono. I have some days that are better than others, but most days find me making multiple trips to the bathroom and feeling wiped of energy and appetite. The antibiotics I am on have also made me nauseated, something the anti-nausea medicine I am taking only sometimes helps.

On the bright side, I've lost 8 pounds, but I wouldn't wish this diet on my worst enemy.

I have an appointment with a GI doctor on Wednesday to find out of there is anything else going on to complicate things, and I will keep you all updated. In the meantime, please pray for me, that God would restore my appetite and my strength so I can be a functioning member of society. Pray that I continue to trust in God and not fall prey to self- pity. And pray for my sweet husband and daughter, who are making do without much help from me.

Thank you for reading and for praying.