My getaway...

Such a simple word but yet carries so much of meaning to many different people. To some, it’s lifelong commitment.... some is love.... and many more. Coming from where I am, I believe marriage is a commitment of love.

Past few weeks or even months, I’ve seen couples whom I thought will never fall apart... somewhat came close to a divorce. I’ve witnessed these couples from the start of their courtship till the time where they exchanged their wedding vows...
I was very disheartened when I heard of the news... And was trying so hard to salvage what was left of them... because I believe in marriage... even though it’s not my marriage...as irony as it sounds.

To me, marriage is such a sacred thing and everyone has lost the true value of it. People have taken marriage so lightly that they could even decide breaking it only after 1month of being together?? It truly angers me whenever I see it...

In general, couples must have gone through a lot in order to stay in a relationship... hence, explains the willingness to bring their relationship to another level which is ... marriage...Generally, Life has its ups and downs... so does marriage. What makes us think that marriage is forever like a bed of roses? Hello? Fairy tale doesn’t exist in this world...More often than not, many tend to take advantage of their partners especially when they’re married.... Most typical Asian mentality: we’re already married; why bother making extra effort to spice things up? WRONG WRONG WRONG perception...

My principle: People MUST marry for love AND WORK HARD to maintain the relationship in order to achieve lifelong happiness in their marriage.

Because it’s love that draws 2 individuals together in the 1st place; and give them a reason to want to immortalize their relationship. Most definitely, all things have its phases... There will be down times, but when that happens, we should try to solve it; rather than giving up and put a permanent end to it. Ask ourselves why did we ever fall in love with the person, to begin with? There MUST be some good that we seen in the person... is that person any different now? Many claimed that people change... YES, we all change... BUT we don’t transformed ourselves into a totally different being; the fundamental values; our true self still remains..

There are also instances in which some selectively choose to view their marriage issues... which is solely from THEIR PERSPECTIVE as a victim... but what of the other person? Have they ever see the issue from the other side? If it’s adultery... FINE... nothing can be done as it’s a breach of trust, love and respect. But if it’s other reasons, try to solve the issue with their spouse... hang on as long as they still love their each other...All hope is not lost yet!

On the contrary, there’re also cases where I’ve seen all hope is gone...due to the fact that it was never a love marriage to begin with.....Instead, It’s more of a marriage of convenience...My rationale: When the base of the relationship is unstable and shaky, it’s always easier for the marriage to crumble...

I won’t say which reason is better or worse to be in a marriage.. as it carries different meaning to everyone. What I do enjoy seeing is an old couple holding hands together.... enjoying each other’s company even though they did not say anything to each other... just being comfortable with each other’s silence.. THAT itself is one of the things that never fails to bring a smile to my face...

Gosh... I was browsing through my previous post... Just realised that they're all bunch of emo posts... How devastating...

1) ~Happy thoughts~
It's good for me to re-look into the previous posts and remind me NOT to go back to where I was then... Guess it's bout time for me to write bout HAPPY moments from this time on, right? AHAHAHA...

Life's truly a bitch, don't you think? We tend to make it a point to remember what makes us sad... rather than the reverse... It's just the same as how people in general, will confide in God when they're in trouble... Time to reflect... KEEP HAPPY THOUGHTS... after all, our brain has a lot of capacity to 'store information'... it's EVEN GREATER than 1 terabyte HARD DISK!!!

2) ~Decisions, decisions, decisions~
Everyday, we make decisions.. from simple things like ... what to wear to work? ... to deeper thoughts ie: who and what matters most to us... Have I ever regretted making any wrong decisions? Well, I guess no... because even if I may have make shitty decisions at times, it's already a DONE DEAL... live with it! AHAHA... my choice, my responsibility, right?

However, I've also been very blessed in such a way that I don't screw up any BIG decisions in life... There're few that could have changed my life if I took the other road.. but I still think I'm better off being where I am now.. As long as I'm happy...

3) ~Friends~
I noticed as I aged, my circle of friends is getting smaller and smaller...Ultimately, very closed ones will still always be there as we make it a point to keep in touch... However, it's also sad to discover that there're many superficial friends out there... It's strange enough there's a group of people whom I used to hang out so often... but they somewhat disappear for very strange reasons... THESE are what we called Chipsmore syndrome... ~Now u see, now u don't!~ and One classic attribute that falls into the category: they're only there for fun... AND.. most often than not, they hear... but not listen...

I was saddened by few cases like these back then... but guess I've gotten over it .. Now.. let's turn the table instead... Am I a perfect friend? Well, I TRY to be even to those superficial ones... but to some, I'm just not...*shrug shoulders* .. Guess moving forward, I just need to set my expectations right in the 1st place so that I don't get so affected by all...

~to be continued~

Love is a splendid thing whenever we experience the 1st taste of it... in movies, there’s even phrases claiming that love is like chocolates... (oh no... not forrest gump....that’s LIFE is like a box of chocolates)... so, I DO know my movies well enough in that sense... well, back again about chocolates and love; it’s similar in a way because when you had your 1st taste of it... it’s sweet.. and truly melts into your heart.. but at the end.. there’s always a bitter end taste.. which also replicates to love. It simply means that being in love is not always about creating beautiful moments together... but also sharing and going through sorrowful times with your special ones.

Despite of its conflicting taste, we still couldn’t resist these ‘chocolates’ and yet long for more... To some who may claimed that we could always ‘change our taste bites’...if not the bitter sweet chocolates; there’s always others... like ones with alcohol (ahaha.. even worse, it DRUGS you.... making you “swoon” with love... AHAHA) .. and many others...

But what I want to convey is that... yes, although we have many choices in love, we would always still have ONE as a preference... One that we would constantly devote our time, and all of our utmost effort to satisfy our hunger.... At times we even question ourselves whether the one is worth the sacrifices and...the answer always remains.. It doesn’t matter... We just give without asking for anything in return; hoping in time that the ONE will be for better...

I don’t know whether I could be like that at all times... but for few, I would... and still could... which surprises me somewhat... Just never knew love could be so rewarding yet so hurtful at the same time. Ultimately, will the love ever be the same again? I truly don’t know... Sometimes, I’m truly afraid to trust my own intellect anymore... What I thought could never hurt me again.... still hits me like a bullet... Constant disappointments and drama remains endless that it is indeed part of my daily life now.. How unfortunate...

I reckon I still could love the same person... but to what extent? It boils down to forgiveness and the willingness to trust... Could I ever be that again? One fine day... I’ll find that answer...

Family... One whom you love to hate but also hate to love...

Despite of living with each other under the same roof, have we ever counted the number of times we actually spend QUALITY time together? What I mean is NOT the amount of time we SEE each other but... truly...BEING WITH them...

As time passes us by.... I do realise that we're doing lesser with our own family given that we've other commitments or priorities.. Hence, therein lies the flaw...

Distance... grew everyone apart.. when that happens... miscommunication, misunderstandings.. and worst of all... negative assumptions of one another happens.. A family bond's truly tested when one falls into crisis...

It gets worse.. when we discover more harsh reality and ugly truth on how we're being viewed in the eyes of our own kind at times like this... Everyone's falling apart before us and we're all being left alone to be strong for everyone... What can we do? Only God would know... truly when all fails, we simply couldn't do anything else but to kneel down and pray...

Faith is all we have for now.. to stay strong...

When things in your life seem , almost too much to handle,
When 24 Hours in a day is not enough,
Remember the jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class
And had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly,
He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students, if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured
them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open Areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively
filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided,
'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things - family,
children, health, Friends, and Favorite passions –
Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, Your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car.

The sand is everything else --The small stuff.

'If you put the sand into the jar first,' He continued,
'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,
You will never have room for the things that are important to you.

So...

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play With your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.

There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

'Take care of the golf balls first --
The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled.
'I'm glad you asked'.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'

~Anonymous~

Why is the road ever long... winding, and never ending?? I was hoping to go to the end of the road... am simply sick of the endless journey of going to nowhere...

Just when we've 'assumed' that the journey has ended, only THEN we realised that the torment has been 'extended' further... to another long winding road..Sigh... prolonging the horrid experience..

It truly explained how I feel at the moment... tired... frustrated and longing for the journey to end...

There're times we are tempted to hop out of the ride... in stopping the feeling of nauseousness... yet at the same time, there's always a conflicting sense of fear- being hurt whilst jumping out of the ride... NOW we're at the juncture... do we leap out of the torment.... or do we continue to stay at where we are ... hoping that the journey will end ...

My choice: to leap... for we may never know what awaits us in future.. Give ourselves a chance for a brand new beginning...

No more being at the end of the road... instead, we're starting anew again... going back to basics!

For very strange reason, disappointments and regrets are truly like an old injury... The moment you've been injured, yes... momentarily, the pain will go away... However, it'll hit you back at the oddest time...Although the pain may not sting as badly as before... but the open wound remains sore... What do we do about it?

Some say..being selfless by doing good to others... is one of the ways to achieve inner peace and happiness..

Let's be realistic... when we're vulnerable... are we even capable to be selfless?? Seriously!! Afterall, we are no Mother Teresa... or a saint..

Someone has once advised me which I thought was so true...
~ When you're emotionally vulnerable, try not to put others' needs ahead of yours; Learn to love yourself more as you deserved to be treated better~

WHY?? Simply because...

~Pain is inevitable but suffering's optional~

Hence, we all should ...
Learn from the pain.. Prevent from the suffering... and Begin with Loving thyself..