Dear Fs (Friends, Foes, Family, Freaks [not that I'm not one] and Fans, [not that I have any])

Let me just talk a little bit about my very humble Psycho Malaysia series. Hey put it this way, Psycho: The Real Mystery was the first short film I ever made, so naturally I have a certain amount of love toward it. Plus many of my friends can never forget a great many things about it. There are a lot of little jokes that did not appear on screen, but are essentially what made it that short film.

So anyway, I made the sequel, Psycho 2: Mystery of the Predator, and hahaha. Ok.

I'm making Psycho 3. We'll be filming next week in Bangkok. You know what's the thing about filming the Psycho series? It's the fact that I don't plan. None of us do.

And hey, it's just another opportunity to do something different, and remembering the good ol' times of hairy legs, bad acting, and a mysterious hand that kills people for no reason.


Come to think of it, it still is about hairy legs, bad acting, and a mysterious hand that kills people for no reason.

And I'm terribly upset that Benji cannot make it for Bangkok. Not so much because of the trip, but because his hand has been used for the murder in Psycho 1, and I was hoping he'd take that role up again.

Tick Tock.

My niece. Notty girl. :P 

there's always someone better. somehow.

and that really kinda... stinks.

Gone are the days when persistence is a virtue.
when loyalty is a virtue.


Ah.

When asked, "what do you love about that person?"

Usually I give some lame duck answer, like "I can talk to the person. I can this da da da la la la, or she's a very beautiful person... di da la lo so and so forth"

or maybe "She's a beautiful person in this sort of way or that sort of way."

or even worse, "she makes me happy"

or perhaps, "I feel like I can be myself when I'm with her" or something like that.

It's all true, I suppose. But sometimes I feel like I don't want to answer that question anymore.

"What is it about the person that you love so much?"

You wouldn't get it. Really, you wouldn't. There are only a certain number of million words (or more or less, but the point is it is finite) in the English dictionary, and everytime I am posed this question, I find that no combination of words can capture that which I feel and know in a precise way.

But very often I feel obligated to say something, because somehow there is this normative sense that it must be explained, that if no words are arranged to rationalize my love, then it is an unjustified and unsubstantiated love.

So usually I say something. Truth is, at best, I can say what is it that closely and usually rather remotely makes up my thoughts on why I love someone at that particular moment when the question was asked, but that is about it. Really.

And very often, true enough, people think I'm rather shallow in thought and I sound a bit ridiculous. And I think I sound rather ridiculous as well.

People say so probably because it sounded lacking.
I say so because it IS lacking.

It's almost infinite, love.

Maybe next time when I'm asked "why do you love this person?"

I'll just keep quiet. Or say, "I just do."

And that may not satisfy he or she who asks, but I am at peace with myself.

Pull a thread through love and leave a pinhole somewhere.

If unchecked, love will leak into bitterness and immense hate.

having a bad day.

It's rather delicious.
It'd give Hannibal Lecter's exquisite taste in human body parts a run for his money.

screwdriver.

boom.

ah. In case that was too fast for you, touch the temple of your forehead. I think you'll kinda err... find a hole right there that reaches all the way to the back of your head.

Oh wait. Your brain probably has stopped functioning by now.

Silly me. I thought too highly of you.

What if I am the perfect volcano? The one that in some scientifically weird way, is in constant activity right from the core of the planet to the erupting and ever pouring surface?

Fun I think. At least it's red in color. Mostly.

and I'm starting to enjoy it, actually.
A sado-masochistic thing, maybe.

I hate this place.
I hate everything about it.
The people, the routines, the inanimate objects, the scenery.
I hate everything.

The most fun part is I actually mean it.

having a bad day.

"Anger, fear, aggression. The dark side are they. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny"

Well, I choose the dark side. I don't see what's so bad about it.

I'm Lazy.

Yesterday, I was walking past my garden. It had a lot of trapped water because it rained heavily an hour ago or so.

So the garden looked rather cool, because it wasn't muddy at all. In fact, it looked like a little aquarium. So as I was walking past it I noticed a little squid in one of the puddles of water.

A squid? Highly unlikely... If its a catfish maybe I can use my imagination and say that yeah a catfish found its way to my garden because that's what catfishes do, pop out of nowhere.

Anyway I saw a squid, and the squid was most unusual. It had 8 tentacles, of course, and it had a body of a squid. It was spotted like most edible squids, and it had a slightly different shape of a head. I wondered if I could be staring at a new species.

It spoke to me and said, "I fell from the sky"

I said, "yeah right. Why do you have a human face?"

The squid said, "I was out at sea and my ship was wrecked, and a giant squid ate me. It couldn't digest me, so we grew into one, and over the centuries we have shrunk to such a size of a small squid."

I said, "Okay."

I took a picture of the squid. It's living in my aquarium now.

I was reading TIME magazine the other day. It had an interesting article, entitled "Sidelining the CIA". You can get a preview read here on TIME's website. Basically its about how the director of CIA is no longer "automatically welcome at national security council meetings", and that Porter Goss, the director of the CIA, will only attend NSC meetings at the direction of the President.

Basically that means the CIA is losing its influence over the white house. Whether that's a good thing or not is not really for me to say. Anyway, that article is dated in the June 13 issue of TIME. And I find it interesting today as I was reading the news, one of the headlines was:

Goss Claims He Has Idea Where Bin Laden Is

Basically, he didn't say where, gave some excuse here and there on why he can't say where and take action immediately, and bla bla bla.

Maybe it's true. Maybe it's not. But somehow, I have a gut feeling that it's a stunt he's pulling to get some attention and spotlight back on the CIA.

I opened my wallet last night and my Sunway-Monash Christian Fellowship calendar for the year 2005 fell out. I haven't had a good look at it for some time now. It says, "ALL THINGS NEW" (that's our theme for this year), and there is a Bible verse there as well, saying that "Behold I shall do a new thing. Now it shall spring forth. Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert..." Isaiah 43:19

I can't find the picture on my pc anymore. I must have deleted it after I finished printing the bookmarks> it's kinda silly really, cos usually I don't delete stuff I do.

But anyway, that verse made me look back a little bit. Well more the theme than the verse. Or both.

Has the last 6 months been a new experience for me? Of course it is. Nothing stays the same. Every second that passes, we grow older, so of course everything changes. Hmm.

This is a tough post. I rarely blog about things like that.

You know the little calendar showed a picture of a desert, and a little plant that sprouted right out of the desert. I did it that way because I kinda figured that it's tougher for plants to survive in the desert, but along with the theme that says "ALL THINGS NEW", I was playing with the thought that well, God is needed to help this little plant grow. It was almost asking for a miraculous thing to happen in our lives in general.

Oh, and I put a little shadow of the cross there as well.

People always say that we should reflect Christ. Sometimes I don't really think so. A reflection is a representation of something that is external, that is not intrinsically us. The mirror can reflect my face, but it will never carry my face wherever it goes, nor will it ever contain my face within its... errr... reflective capabilities.

And I've always liked shadows. I know it carries a lot of negative connotations, about how darkness comes about because of shadows and all that kind of crap. Not that I disagree, but I see other things about shadows as well.

Yes, the shadow is an external element as well, but it is a representation of something that is real, that is always there, that is forever part and parcel of how that person is. My shadow, in all its angles, will always represent me, and will follow me wherever I go.

The day I do not see my shadow, is the day there is no light for my shadow to show. So sometimes I like to say that we should carry a shadow of Christ... Let's face it, not all us interact with everyone else, and not everyone has the privilege of seeing and knowing your beautiful personality and character. In such a case, let your shadow lead the way...

Anyway...

Since the farewell is coming up. I decided to not be lazy and do up a new banner for the end of a good six months so far for the CF, and a well deserved break for everyone.

It shows two growing tree in the desert, both with the shadow of a cross. What does it mean? That there is multiplication? Maybe...



To the next six months.

Maybe by then, I'll scrap the desert and put a pic of a really dense forest.

Definition of the Force

Obi-Wan Kenobi: The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together.

Principles of the Dark Side

Palpatine: I can feel your anger... it gives you strength... makes you focused...

*

Anakin Skywalker: The Sith rely on their passion for their strength. They think inward, only about themselves.

*

Yoda: Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to... suffering...

*

Anakin Skywalker: If you are not with me, then you are my enemy.

*
If you will not be turned, you will be destroyed.

*
Palpatine: It is only natural. He cut off your arm, and you wanted revenge.

*

Yoda: The fear of loss is a path to the dark side... Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed, that is.

*

Obi- Wan: Only a Sith deals in absolutes.

*

Darth Maul: At last we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi. At last we will have revenge.

*

Darth Vader: You have controlled your fear. Now, release your anger. Only your hatred can destroy me.

*

Yoda: Hard to see, the dark side is.

*

Yoda: But beware of the dark side. Anger, fear, aggression; the dark side of the Force are they. Easily they flow, quick to join you in a fight. If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will...

Yoda: (The dark side is ) quicker, easier, more seductive.

Palpatine: Good, I can feel your anger. I am unarmed. Take your weapon. Strike me down with all of your hatred and your journey towards the dark side will be complete.

Palpatine: Good. Use your aggressive feelings, boy. Let the hate flow through you.

Yoda: Remember, a Jedi's strength flows from the Force. But beware. Anger, fear, aggression. The dark side are they. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny.

Anakin Skywalker: I HATE YOU!

Light Side Principles

Anakin Skywalker: The Jedi are selfless... they only care about others.

*

Yoda: Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force. Mourn them, do not. Miss them, do not.


*

Yoda: A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. This one a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away... to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph. Adventure. Heh. Excitement. Heh. A Jedi craves not these things. You are reckless.

*

Yoda: Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes. Even between the land and the ship.

*

Yoda: You will know... when you are calm, at peace, passive. A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense, never for attack.

*

Obi Wan: In my experience, there's no such thing as luck.

*
Qui-Gon Jinn: (about being mindful of the future) But not at the expense of the moment.

*
Anakin: No one can kill a Jedi

*

Qui-Gon Jinn: Remember, concentrate on the moment. Feel, don't think. Trust your instincts.

*

Qui-Gon Jinn: Remember: Your focus determines your reality.

*

Qui-Gon Jinn: Keep your concentration here and now, where it belongs.

*

Padme: Are you allowed to love? I thought that was forbidden for a Jedi.

Of all forms of social injustice, I hate racism the most.





Emphasis on the word "hate"

I shouldn’t be here, thought Cinderella to herself as she scrubbed a patch of dried ink off the floor.

One day I will leave this place.

Oh Yes. I will. It is wrong for a maiden as fair as I am to be enslaved here to perform chores that only animals should do.

Cinderella’s stepmother and stepsisters entered the hall, fully clad in their corsets of ocean blue, emerald green, coal black and ruby red. They were beautiful, and by virtue of the fact that Cinderella was dressed in rags and smeared with dirt and dust all over her body, the four of them were perhaps the most beautiful women in all the land.

They trotted across the hall, leaving dirty footprints all over the floor that Cinderella had just scrubbed. They wiped their feet once they stepped outside, indicating that they had dirtied the floor intentionally, before entering the rented carriage that would take them to the Castle of Royalties.

Just wait. Godmother will be here soon. And the Prince will be mine and mine alone. She will come. I have called her.

I must dirty myself more. I must scrub this floor now. Not only is this last time I shall scrub this floor. It shall also be my salvation. Godmother will see me. She will.

*

As Princess Cinderella walked down the stairway leading away from the master bedroom, having inspected the body of the dead king, a very familiar character entered through the door facing the stairs, and stood in her way.

“Where are you going, Cinderella?" asked Fairy Godmother.

Princess Cinderella stopped. She wasn’t surprised.

“Fairy Godmother,” greeted Cinderella coldly.

“This wasn’t why I helped you win the heart of the Prince,” said the Fairy Godmother, as she stepped out of the shadow. Her poise was elegant as ever, and her age did not show in her movement and voice, despite her aged appearance of white hair and wrinkled skin.

“Things rarely turn out the way you expect it to be, Godmother.”

“You lied to me,” accused Fairy Godmother, smoothly.

Cinderella paused for a moment, and said, “Yes, I did.”

*

As the rats turned to stallions and the pumpkin to a carriage, Fairy Godmother wondered what manner of a dress would Cinderella look best in.

“White? Hmm. White it is. Hmm and she waved her wand in circles as Cinderella was lifted up into the air and was transformed into a princess-like young lady, clad in a glittering white dress. Her hair was scruffy no more, and was as smooth as the fountains, and her face shone even in the dark night.

It is done. Well, Not yet. But I’m almost there.

“Tell me, my dear Cinderella, what will you do when you meet the Prince?” asked Fairy Godmother lovingly.

Marry him, kill him, and be crowned Queen of all the lands. My stepmother and my stepsisters will scrub my palace floors and be fed with food that is fit for swine alone. Their den will be where they eat, sleep, pass motion, and share what is left of their pathetic little family. What goes around will come around… mother.

“I will bow down before him, let him look at me, and perhaps he will love me,” answered Cinderella, forcing her submissive and respectful tone to come through.

“So, Cinderella, do you believe in love at first sight?” asked Fairy Godmother.

No, I do not. But I pray the Prince will be fool enough to believe so.

“I do not know, Fairy Godmother. Is it possible?”

“Ah. That I cannot answer too. Love is a foolish emotion. It acts up when it feels like it. So just hope for the best, Cinderella.”

“I will,”

“You must leave by midnight, for the magic will wane, and you shall return to what you were,”

A catch. This is not good. I have three hours to win the prince’s hand in marriage. It matters not. I will go irregardless. The Prince must fall in love with me in three hours. I pray he is fool enough.

If he does, then it must mean that his heart is weak. Then, that would make my life a little easier.

That would mean he's easily disposable. Weak hearted man.

*

Fairy Godmother held her wand in her hands. But it was not raised. She was after all, a Godmother of good, and she tried her very best to be a godmother to Cinderella.

“I helped you get here, Cinderella. Why do you think when you left, all that was given by me turned back into pumpkins and rats except your glass slipper? Have you ever wondered that? I gave a lot to ensure you were remembered by the Prince, Cinderella.”

“And that was your choice, Godmother, I did not ask you to do all that you did for me,” Cinderella’s voice was cold now, and her voice more crisp and firm.

Despite sensing Cinderella’s growing powers, Fairy Godmother was not going to let leave. “I cannot let you do what you are doing. I will not let evil befall this land because of my sympathy towards you.”

“I’ve already done what I’ve done, Godmother. The King is dead, and the prince will fall with him. I’ve longed for this day, this moment, since I learned the value of time,” replied Cinderella.

“You’ve already killed many people, Cinderella. Tell me, what has it brought you? Joy?”

“It has brought me closer to power, with every death that I have caused.”

“The prince is a good man!” shouted Fairy Godmother.

“He is weak! He will never rule for long!” Cinderella had started pacing left and right by then, clearly showing her impatience towards Fairy Godmother.

Fairy Godmother closed her eyes and contemplated everything, before saying in a defeated voice, “I should never have helped you, Cinderella. I regret that.”

“Oh, don’t. Your role in this world is to help the needy, and I was in need of your aid.”

“And I will put an end to all this madness,” concluded Fairy Godmother as she raised her wand. It sparkled bright light, and its emission of glory filled the dark room. "Do not think that just because I am your Fairy Godmother, I hesistate to take strong action. I will kill you if that is what it takes to end this madness!"

"And I will kill you if that is what it takes to protect me from you trying to kill me, Godmother," answered the Princess. "You do remember... Godfather. Do you?"

And the Godfather of Fairies appeared beside Cinderella, like a magician who conjured himself up in mid-air. He stood there, like a loyal guard who protects his mistress without question.The cloaked master of Fairies stared at Fairy Godmother intently. His ice blue eyes gleamed with mystical vitality, and his hands were worn but full of strength.

“Princess Cinderella," Godfather of Fairies said, without moving much. "Aurora has been detained, and her child awaits,” reported the Godfather of Fairies in a low, whisperous tone.

“You have what, Godfather of Fairies? And where have you come from? You were exiled by all the Fairies of your time for almost seven generations now. How were you set free? ” remarked Fairy Godmother with shock. “I see your scheme now, Cinderella. Not only are you treacherous enough to gain power, you also seek to pass on your evil ways. ”

“At least you will pass on with understanding,” Cinderella clapped her hands and let the sound of it echo against the walls. “I will leave you to speak with Godfather. Enjoy,” and with one last look at the Godmother he tricked, Cinderella beckoned to the Godfather of Fairies.

"I suggest you leave this hall the other way, Princess," said the Godfather of Fairies.

"Indeed," replied Cinderella as she turned back up the stairs into another corridor and left the two masters to their fates.

*

"I once loved your great great great great great great grandmother, she turned against me."

"Legend said that you struck a deal with the sea witch Ursula to turn the seas into your own little empire, and you killed my great great great great great great grandmother to achieve that."

"It is because I did NOT achieve that, and because your great great great great great great grandmother tried to kill me after that, that I had to kill her in return! And I was imprisoned for nothing!" The Godfather of Fairies raised his voice, "BUT! Our quarrel here today is not for that, but for Cinderella."

"You knew she would turn into this monster, you twisted swine." insulted Fairy Godmother. "And what good would she be of to you?"

"It's not power I crave, Fairy Godmother. It's the ideology that I crave for. No one believed me when I said that the world is black in its essence, and all I wanted was to bring that to realization and build a better world on top of it. But no, everyone wants to believe that everything has a potential for good. I do not want to rule the world. I am not as selfish you have been taugh to believe. I merely want that good world to come about, and it was never going to happen with YOU LOT OF IDEALISTIC FAIRIES... Cinderella saw what the world's foundations was like, and she will bring forth a time of prosperity to this land."

"You are misled, Godfather of Fairies and Fairy of Fairies."

"And you are short sighted."

"I do not presume to be able to kill you, and I know my death is now. But let me say this, Godfather of Fairies. The Prince of Beasts will find you, and tear you apart, one day," proclaimed Fairy Godmother. "Yes, I know who Cinderella's parents were. I know someone took her away, I just didn't know it was you."

"Yet you did not return her to her family, how mysterious..." said the Godfather of Fairies.

"I couldn't. The Prince of Beast returned to his beastly form, and Cinderella would have been killed had I returned her. But all the same, he will find you, one day."

"And so I will wait for that day."

*

"Aurora, I'm sorry."

"You bitch of a sister in law! Where is my father? Where is my brother? Do not touch my daughter!"

"I will raise your daughter well. Winter will be my heir. She will be strong."

"You will not touch my daughter, you filthy demon ! You will not teach her your sick ways! You are nothing but a servant! You will only make her a corrupt servant with blackness in her heart!"

"And isn't that what we all are? Black? In all your rightheous ways, you just called me 'bitch' and 'demon' and degraded 'servants'. Blackness is you, too, Aurora."

"I DON'T CARE WHAT-"

"Guards, cut off her tongue. Let her wail, but not speak."

*

Baby Winter cried to the wailings of her mother.

Baby Winter stopped crying.

Baby Winter lay on the table, surrounded by manikins, who looked intently at her.

"Will I have her, Princess Cinderella?" asked an older Manikin.

"Nothing you ask now will change what has happened once before, dear Manikin. I let you cut out her tongue, and that should be revenge enough for you. The baby is mine," answered Cinderella.

"Is there any way I can have this baby, Cinderella? Aurora robbed her from me-"

"And I robbed Winter away from Aurora. Perhaps one day you'll rob me of something to complete that circle. But for now, consider your time here complete. You have served me and the Godfather of Fairies well, and you have had your revenge. Now, take the treasures that I promised you, and you are free to go back to your straw spinning ways," commanded Cinderella.

"But-"

"No buts, Rumpelstilkstin. Go, before I change my mind," ordered Cinderella firmly.

"Yes, highness," submitted the manikin, and he departed the palace with his kin, secretly cursing and wishing tragedy to befall Prinecss Cinderella.

*

Cinderella stood in the middle of the chamber as Fairy Godmother was chained to the wall on the right, half unconscious. Aurora wailed on, chained on the far end of the chamber. Baby Winter had fallen asleep, having adjusted to the wails of her mother.

"Even baby Winter has blackness in her heart, for she no longer can feel the cries of her mother," said the Godfather of Fairies in his deepest, darkest, most whisperous voice.

Cinderella stood there, feeding off the echoes of sorrow and digesting the blackness from within the hearts of all living beings.

And in this chamber of blackness, her empire will now be established, forever and ever.

*

The End.

*

The complete Fairy Tales saga can be read in the following chronological order.

Episode 1: The Lost Princess
Episode 2: Acts of the Servant in-Law
Episode 3: The Fairy of Fairies

Original "Fairy Tales" Trilogy
Episode 4: The Coronation of Cinderella
Episode 5: The Whitening of the Snow
Episode 6: The Heart Made of Glass

*

I can say now that "the saga is complete".

I hope everyone who has read the entire series has enjoyed it. I did enjoy writing it. Though I must credit people like Joanne, who has encouraged me tremendously to continue writing even though I didn't really feel like it any more. Sometimes to have one reader is enough to encourage.

And haihz. Shu Yi thinks that I should write Episodes 7,8,9. So if one day you see The Fairy Tales: Episode 7, you'll know it's her fault.

Princess Cinderella woke up in from her sleep. Her eyes still weary from the nightmare she just had. It was a nightmare that was an evil's passion to give. She dreamt that she was in the arms of a beautiful woman. She felt like a child in that dream.

Then she dreamt that she was carried to a blackness that she could not comprehend. It wasn't death. No, it wasn't death. Somehow, she would have recognized death had she seen or felt it. But rather, this blackness was that of a cleansed void.

That was her first dream.

*

Blackness will always be there. It is the color of cleaness. It is the base color of all things. Not white as everyone had always imagined it to be. You scrub the world clean, and all you get is what it all is. Blackness. That is the root, the core, of all things.

To build a new world above a black land is the only way one can cover the evil that makes this world.

A carpet of light. A carpet of colors. A carpet of joy.

And on the carpet you place the golden chairs, the marble table, the silver shelf. On the chair you place a cushion, covered in silk. On the table you place porcelain teapots, saucers, and cups. On the shelf you put pictures of many good things.

Then on the cushion you seat a person. In the teapot you place tea-leaves and hot water. Beside the shelf you place little crystal figurines.

That is why you are alive and that is why you are. To make the world beautiful.

And that was her second dream.

*

"Who are you?"

"I am the Godfather of Fairies, and I am your protector."

"Where is Godmother?"

"You and I both know that the Godmother is but a pawn on your board of black of white."

"I do not know what you mean."

"Whilst you were the step-daughter of your wretched family, you were non-existent. You wanted the world to be on your toes. You then proceeded to, in your free time at night, in the minutes before you fell asleep, conceived of a sinister plan to enter the royal courts to gain power, and more power. With the aid of the Fairy Godmother, you have indeed managed to as it were, place yourself on the chess board. However, enlisting her aid meant that you are on the white side of the board."

"How do you know of these things?"

"I am more powerful than your precious Fairy Godmother."

"I've never heard of the Fairy Godfather. I didn't know Godmother was married."

"I am not the Fairy Godfather. I am the Godfather of Fairies. I am the Godfather of ALL fairies, including your Godmother."

"Okay..."

"I can help you be on the black side of the board."

"Where did you come from?"

"The black side of the netherworld."

" I thought the netherworld is always black."

"Silly assumption."

"Why would I want to be on the black side of the board?"

"Because that's where worlds are built."

And that was her third dream

*

She held a baby in her arms. The father's head is caught in the wheel on the deck. The baby is bleeding from his neck down. The ship is rocking wildly.

Blood is everywhere. All the sailors are dead.

She has nowhere to run. She has nowhere to swim.

The baby's white dress is smeared with blood. Her father's head is mashed potato.

The sun is shining brightly upon them.

The baby isn't crying. The baby isn't crying. The baby is only wriggling very very softly. The senses has left the baby. Her eyes are closing into a deathly sleep.

The mother held the baby in her hands. She doesn't know what to do. They are both dead.

The wild half-women half-fish monsters are circling the ship, tearing shred after shred of wood away. Those creatures with the face of angels and the heart of hyenas killed everyone.

Or rather, one is dead, and the other is dying.

All is lost. She is removed from the board again.

No king. No heir.

The baby is dead. So is the father. I am all that lives.

The baby has stopped moving. The sun is still shining. Her blood is cold. It is sticky, and cold.

And that was her fourth dream.

*

You must do what you must, Princess, or you will never realize your ambition.

Do what?

You know...

And that was her fifth dream.

*

Princess Cinderella rode out of her castle into the nearby village with two armed guards, and they rode in the drizzle.

As they approached the old village where the lower-middle class peasants lived, Cinderella slowed, looking intently at the run down houses that she passed by.

"Where are we heading to, Princess?" asked one of her guards.

"I'm looking for a family," answered Cinderella.

"Is it the one where you came from?" asked the other guard of hers.

"No. It's just the one where I was held hostage for years. Yes. That family."

"Yes, Princess."

*

The King paced the living room slowly, while the Prince sat and observed his father as he spoke.

"I find Cinderella rather... disturbing, son. Are you sure you married the right woman?" The King asked.

"Why do you ask that, father?"

"She has been rather... reserved ever since she moved into the palace. I am concerned that she is not as lovely as you have imagined her to be," explained the King.

"And what would you have me do if she indeed is not the best girl in the world? Would you have me kill her and marry another?" asked the Prince sarcastically.

"Silly boy, of course not. I'm just expressing my concerns."

"I admit she is rather silent, and her ways are sometimes beyond my understanding. But she has never... usurped me, or you. If that is what you are trying to imply."

"No, no. Of course not. Have the two of you discussed children?"

"No, we have not. I would think when it happens, it'll happen."

"These things need planning, son."

Just then, a palace servant entered the hall and whispered into the King's ear. The King then said to the Prince, "Aurora is here with Winter. She'll be living with us for a while until her husband returns from his travel to Emerald City."

"Then I must go and welcome my sister. It is good news indeed that she has arrived here safely," replied the Prince as he motioned his father and the servant to the door.

*

Cinderella ordered her two guards to wait at the crossroad while she travelled further downhill to where her stepmother lived.

*

"Do you think it's wise for us to have children? Cinderella?"

"Why are you suddenly asking me this, my love?"

"Just thinking. Can't we talk about things?"

"Of course we can. But I suppose it's not the best time yet. We're both still rather young."

"Alright... But we can still do our thing at night right?"

"Yes of course. But not tonight, really. I have a headache."

*

Cinderella closed the doors behind her as she entered the house where she once lived. She can hear the soft giggles of her stepsisters somewhere behind. She could not make out what they were talking about, for the sounds of the drizzle clouded her hearing. They were in the kitchen, probably. Cinderella sat down on a chair in the little living room, and waited in the grey light.

Then the stepsisters came out and saw Cinderella. The first sister was holding a basin. The second sister was carrying a bucket. The third sister was holding a tray with fried fish. They saw Princess Cinderella. The three of them froze and stared at Cinderella.

"You're supposed to kneel before royalty," commented Cinderella.

"Kneel before you? Princess or not, you're still our step-sister. Our stupid little stepsister," replied the eldest of the sisters.

"Really?"

At the moment the first sister dropped the basin, and with it, her fingers. It was as though someone had cut them off. She could not scream, for it was sudden.

"You're supposed to kneel before royalty," commented Cinderella again.

*

"Aurora, you look beautiful as ever. You have regained your beautiful figure," exclaimed the Prince. "And little Winter. She is a lovely baby isn't she? Can I carry?"

"Ever the boy. Of course you can carry him," answered Aurora. "And I can see you did not bother changing into your royal robes to greet me. Look at the rags that you're dressed in. Have you been working the horses again?"

"As always. And you've always seen me like this. Do you prefer a royal welcome or a family welcome?"

"Family welcome, of course."

The baby coo-ed delightfully as the Prince rocked her.

Brother and sister walked through the giant gardens and conversed about many things. And it was a beautiful moment, for they loved each other very much.

"Father must be waiting for us by now," Aurora said.

"He can wait. And he's got a lot of other things to worry about anyway. Mermaids have been wrecking a lot of our ships lately for no apparent reason. It's as though they've made war on us."

"Really? That's unheard of."

"Indeed so."

"But we really should return anyway, and give me back Winter. She's frowning at your face already."

"As you wish, sister."

But they never made it back to the palace halls. For without their realization. Armed creatures came from everywhere and swiftly took them captive. They were no ordinary soldiers. They were manikins. Manikins who wanted revenge for a lie told to them once upon a time, that a royal baby would be given to them, but was never so. Manikins who swore their allegiance to the Godfather of Fairies just to do what they've always wanted to Princess Aurora.

*

Stepmother entered the her house to find her three daughters kneeling, and shaking, before Princess Cinderella.

"Hello... mother," greeted a spiteful Cinderella.

"Oh... Cinderella. What a pleasant surprise. You've come back. How sweet of you?" Stepmother frantically looked for words to hide her sudden surge of fear.

"You're supposed to kneel before royalty, mother."

Without hesitation, Stepmother went down on her knees and started begging for mercy. "Oh don't punish us or anything of that sort, my daughter. We've always loved you. We've always intended the best for you. My daughters might have been naughty sometimes but we've always loved you. Look at how you've become a Princess. We're so proud of you. So proud..."

As Stepmother rambled on. Cinderella stood up and picked up a small piece of fried fish and chewed it. She then spat it on the face of her stepmother, then took the entire plate of fish and shoved it in the face of her stepmother.

"You did not make me a princess, mother. You made me a servant in-law. I made myself a princess. Do I make myself clear?" explained Cinderella as she held her stepmother by her throat.

"DON'T HURT MOMMA!" shrieked the fingerless eldest daughter, who happened to the closest to Cinderella and the Stepmother. Cinderella responded to that by revealing her sabre with her right hand and slicing off the head of the eldest sister while still gripping Stepmother's neck firmly. The other two sisters screamed as the lifeless head rolled across the room.

"No! Mercy. I beg for mercy!" cried Stepmother.

"Mother. I am not making you eat the food of fleas and scrape the kennels of dogs and clean the pig farms. Nor am I making you walk through the streets naked. Nor am I turning you into the hands of the mermaids who would eat you away limb by limb while keeping you alive. Mother, this IS mercy,"

"No... no... We love you, Cinderella."

Cinderella let go of Stepmother and said to the shadows, "You can leave me alone here now Godfather. This is something I rather do myself. Return to the castle, and do what you will with the King and the Prince. Do not forget baby Winter."

The shadows came alive and the Godfather of Fairies walked out of the house and closed the door behind him.

And Cinderella killed Stepmother, and the two remaining sisters.

*

"Alfred, do you mind going to see where Aurora is, and my son as well. They're taking rather long today I think," asked the King rather politely.

"Alfred?" asked the King again.

"Where are you, Alfred?"

"Alfred has departed. It is I that you speak to now, your majesty," answered a deep whisperous tone.

The King looked at the entrance of the dining room, and saw the Godfather of Fairies standing there alone.

*

And all of Cinderella's dark deeds were fulfilled that day itself.

*

Checkmate. And the black Queen moved across the board amidst the remaining pieces to a white, square, box.

And that was it.

And that was her sixth dream.

*

the end.

Links to the other episodes

Episode 1: The Lost Princess

Original "Fairy Tales" Trilogy
Episode 4: The Coronation of Cinderella
Episode 5: The Whitening of the Snow
Episode 6: The Heart Made of Glass

Everyone is in campus studying for tomorrow's exam: Cultural and Communications Policy which basically talks about how the public sphere is regulated in a society that is technologically and culturally converging, thus allowing foreign content to be highly accesible to anyone who has access to it, thus allowing for the very concept of the nation-state itself to be undermined and usurped, which can in turn, in a cause-and-effect scenario, create a stir/change in the various public spheres that function within a country, where the private comes together to discuss matters that are of public interest, which has/will (both past present and future) be in some way be influenced by the content of which they are exposed to, which happens to be becoming more global and less local because of digitalisation, where data can be transferred easily with the convergence of technology, which will lead to a convergence of cultures, which will lead to the thought of converging technology and culture as a means to undermine the ideology of the nation-state, which we all know is an imagined community, which will in turn affect the way the various public spheres function since the government will want to regulate the public sphere, but will find more difficulty in doing so because of converging technologies which allow people to participate in public debate in more avenues, which in turn drive technology to further expand to continue this trend of digitalisation and will further converge more forms of communitions which will spur cultural globalization to take place even faster, where information will get to everyone more quickly, thus influencing the people who participate in all forms of public spheres to rock the boat of the ideology of the nation-state.

Don't understand?

Don't worry. Neither do I.

Kerry Ann was asking us in her most bimbotic voice: Why do we study policy? Why can't we talk about nail polish?

Sarah was a bit more enthusiastic about studies. She was asking, "Look at the clothes that you wear, the jeans, the t-shirt, where did all that come from. All the sam fu (clothes in cantonese)?"

Benji hates the word Astro because he's been in and out of that place lately. But Astro is one of the best examples of digitalisation and convergence and privatisation and globalization and bla bla bla. So too bad for him.

Sze Ning wants a kitten. I don't really care.

Wonder where everyone else is.

I'm so bored. Should I continue blabbing about Cultural and Communications Policy?

This will be one of the last Wasting Away posts, since today is possibly one of the last time the few of us as students will be sitting together and talking crap.

Oh yeah, Kerry shaved her legs today I think. Cos she's wearing shorts and walking around, which she rarely does. She's kinda showing off her shiny legs. I think she waxed them too.

I didn't notice that till Benji pointed it out to me. I guess he has a greater level of observing such things.

Shi Ying is sitting behind me watching me type away. I don't know why people, females especically, enjoy objectifying me by LOOKING at me. There's nothing feminine about me, and only females should get objectified, because they ARE objects in the first place. But then again, Shi Ying could be looking at my fingers, which many have deemed to be rather sexy due to its great bones and all that sort of thing.

I'm not blogging in BM this time round because I can ramble faster in English.

Everyone is trying to blab about Cultural and Communications Policy.

Life is really boring. Tomorrow me and Sze Ning might want to catch Batman Begins. Apparently its really good so we're gonna catch Christian Bale kick some scarecrow ass. I think he'll be cooler than Hayden Christensen, but Batman won't be cooler than Star Wars.

I'm getting bored.

Blah.

If I don't blog about time-wasting again, then farewell. If I am, then wow! Farewell later.

Let me say this to you people, if this is the last time: Benji, Szen, Sarah, Kerry, Malina, Shazana, Girl TMY, Shi Ying, Sze Mun, Eva, Fikri, Wani and some of my CF friends and whoever else I've crapped about in my "wasting away" posts, let me bid you farewell if you are graduating. If you are not graduating, then I'll see you next sem. But the thing I really want to say is this: They say when you meet the love of your life, time stops, and that's true.

And also,

You people stink. Big time.

Eva sedang distract saya dari mengulangkaji.

Bagus juga, kerana saya betul betul benci subjek in: Polisi Polisi Media.

Betul betul buang masa saja, subjek ini.

***

Saya lebih suka buang masa blog dalam bahasa Malaysia.

Woohoo!

***

Mungkin satu hari saya akan buat filem dalam bahasa Malaysia.

"saya cinta kamu,"

"betulkah?"

"ya... Mata kamu macam matahari and bersinar walaupun hari sudah gelap."

"Yakah? Saya ingat mata saya macam mata biasa saja..."

"Tidaklah. Mata kamu macam guli guli yang bulat dan cantik."

"Eh, tadi kata mata saya macam matahari, sekarang kata macam guli. Yang mana tu benar?"

"Err. Saya pun tidak tahu. Saya rasa warna mata kamu yang macam tahi-"

"MACAM TAHI?"

"Bukan.... macam tanah perang..."

"WHAT?!?!"

"Eh, Kamu boleh cakap Bahasa INgerris Keh?"

"YES YOU STUPID IDIOT!"

***

comel leh...

I'm thinking of two film projects to do over the next six months or so... Here's a brief synopsis of things to come...

1) One Kind of Love - The title is tentative, but the story is pretty much set, and the script is almost finished already. I forsee casting problems as there will be mandarin scenes. I don't know, but I estimate that the running time will be around... mmm.... 10-15 minutes? Basically this short film deals with love when mixed with an aura of uncertainty that death can bring. Just a note: No one really dies in this film, or maybe they do. BUT that's not the focus of the show.

2) Bimbo - I ran a search on IMDb for any films related to bimbos, and the only result was a 1978 documentary, and it had few details. So I thought to myself, HEY! WHY NOT make a show about bimbos. It should be fun. I have no idea what's it going to be about, but bimbos will be the main focus of the lens! If I get a good idea on this I'm willing to cancel/delay Psycho 3...

Apart from that I'll be doing promotional videos for my church for various events, as I always do. It's a pleasure to do short promo videos. It's a lot of stress, but the result is always satisfying.

Let me see, I mentioned to Ah Shu that I wanted to blog about my five favourite drama films. I've been scouting around for pictures and all, and was about to start uploading the pics and write the post when I suddenly felt as though it was too much trouble.

Since when has blogging become a... research, upload, download, think and write thing for me? Well, I do that sometimes, but generally I just like "buang masa", or waste time, talking and yakking away here.

Why do I ramble so much? Because rambling is what hahahahahahaha. Rambling is like going to the toilet to unload all the poo. It feels comfortable after you do your business. Yeah, I laughed earlier because it suddenly sounded as thought I'm full of crap. Then again, people do say I'm full of crap.

I suspect that Ah Shu is hacking my PC, because she's talking to me about stuff that I'm blogging here even before I've posted it. She's denying it of course. But then again, all girls do.

Let me say this once: They say when you meet the love of your life, time stops, and that's true.

Then again, I've said that a few trillion times already.

I want to watch Star Wars 3 again. It is such a fantastic movie.

I notice that my buang masa post has generated quite a lot of errrr never mind.

Saya kena buli saja lah. Biarkan Fikri atau Benjamin bertutur dalam bahasa Cina-lah dan dengarlah bunyi bunyi monyet yang keluar dari mulut mereka.

Ada orang pernah kata, bila kamu jumpa orang cinta kamu, masa akan berhenti, and itu benar.

Ok lah, BM saya tidak cantik. Tapi saya comel. Ok?

Well, I'm too free at the moment so I'm going to write about my five favorite feature length cartoons. I actually wanted to do five favourite sci-fi flicks, but you've heard my ramble about Star Wars enough already. Then I wanted to do my five favourite action films, and still Star Wars would have come up. Then I wanted to write about my five favorite films of all time, then I figured Star Wars would be rambled about again. So I'll do a Star Wars free write-up. About CARTOONS! Of course, one can argue that with the amount of animation and digital effects used in making Star Wars, one can almost consider it a cartoon... But no...

ANyway, my five favourite cartoons. Here's how I gauge them.

1) I enjoy watching them over and over again.
2) I like a particular message in the cartoon.
3) I enjoy watching them over and over again.
4) There's something about the cartoon that sticks out in my head very strongly (i.e. the music)
5) I enjoy watching them over and over again.
6) The artwork is stupendously marvellous and creatively refreshing.
7) I enjoy watching them over and over again.


NUMBER 5
SHREK 2



This cartoon rocks to the maximum. One must wonder why in the world I like this more than Shrek 1? Well, I find the romance in this movie much much more engaging than the first. I mean, we always consider the ogre as the other, and to tell a story of how a human can love a weirdo (like Shrek1) is kinda over done. Shrek 2 brings about the idea of WOULD AN OGRE WANT TO BE HUMAN? Ok, no spoilers here. But I find the change of perspective very engaging.

Number 4
TRANSFORMERS: THE MOVIE



Well, you can't blame me from being a boy. A lot of people said that this movie is a commercial stunt... and I think so too, but WHO CARES! The soundtrack rockz. It still plays in my head after more than ten years. And you know, I always tell people this: If you think all the jumping about and shooting about in the Matrix is cool, let me tell you the Matrix aint' original and cool enough. Optimus Prime has done all the jumping about and blowing Decepticons' heads off in this movie like no one has ever done before!

Number 3
THE LION KING



Superb score. Hans Zimmer won an academy award for his musical work in this cartoon. That is the number ONE selling point of this cartoon. The energetic African vocals really is the driving factor and the life of this cartoon. I remember when I watched this cartoon when I was a small boy, the death of Simba's father was one of the most emotional cinematic scenes I've ever experienced... I was a kid then ok. The score. The soundtrack for this cartoon is enough to make this my number 3 all time favourite. It used to be number 1, but...

Ah also, James Earl Jones' voice is just awesome. He was great in Darth Vader, and does the same for Mufasa.

And of course, it's a very masculine show :P

Number 2
SPIRITED AWAY



I remember writing a review for a online community thing for my circle of friends. (Those were the days before Friendster and all that crap) I rarely gave films five stars. I actually gave Spirited Away 5.5 or 6 out of 5. Now, I think I'll give it a 10 out of 5.

There are 3 things that steal my heart with this cartoon.

1) The score. Joe Hisaishi really is the John Williams of Asia. The music for Spirited Away is so soothingly romantically charming it takes me away into Chihiro's world right away.

2) The imagination. This cartoon displays the best artistic creativity I've ever seen in a cartoon. The little details in every frame, every little object, movement and design of material is so creative my vocabulary houses no words to describe it. The drawing is so immensely ARGH to the point I was exlaiming wow at almost every scene. I was spirited away into Spirited Away.

3) The girl. Director Hayao Miyazaki has a thing for female protagonists. And it always works. In this cartoon, the innocence of Chihiro, the little girl who got trapped in another world, contrasts so brightly against the weirdness of the spirit realm. Not to mention her love so pure for the wizard boy who saves her. I love Miyazaki romances.




I know my writing here kinda makes Spirited Away look as though it's the best cartoon I've ever seen. But no.... here's the number 1

Number 1
PRINCESS MONONOKE



Princess Mononoke is the most mind blowing cartoon I've ever seen. Yes, Spirited Away is the most artistically creative piece of work I've ever seen. But Princess Mononoke is the most elaborate epic romance (call it what you will, I'm calling it romance) of all time, not just in the cartoon world, but in the film realm as a whole.

San (also known as Princess Mononoke) is the centerpiece of this cartoon as a warrior girl raised by the wolf gods. She grew up thinking she's a wolf, until one day she meets a human warrior prince, Ashitaka, who came from a land far far away to cleanse his body of an evil curse.

The context of the film is basically this: In the iron age of Japan, an ambitious woman sets up a mining facility near the forest that houses many gods and demons, and to expand her power, she wants to destroy the forest. So there is this looming sense of war throughout the show, between humans and the spirits.

Ashitaka, although unsympathetic to the ladyboss's plans to destroy the forest, is still the representation of humanity in the film, when coming into contact with San, who rejects her humanity. There is where the romantic conflict takes place... Although it never really is said in the story, the subtlety of the love they hint at each other makes it in some ways, the most obvious theme of the show.

And I love love stories.



The second thing about the film is the SCORE! Joe Hisaishi again! Now, The music for Princess Mononoke is without a doubt one the best, if not the best, film score I've ever heard. Not only is it epic, it is romantic, tragic, and very indescribably ARGH as well. My brother bought the CD, but its been on my table for years now, and I've not gotten bored of it yet, because it has EVERYTHING a film score needs. From my perspective, this cartoon should have won best picture, instead of the sappy Titanic show.



This cartoon actually hit the number 1 all time gross in Japan when it was released, only to be beaten by Titanic. But Miyazaki got his revenge with Spirited Away, who took over at number 1. Miyazaki's latest film, Howl's Moving Castle, has overtaken Spirited Away as the number 1. This means that Hayao Miyazaki has three films in the Japanese all time box office records.



Roger Ebert, one of the most renown film critics, once said, Princess Mononoke is like the Japanese version of Star Wars. I don't really see why, but I'm saying it just to bring up the point that good shows are always somehow related to Star Wars.

---

So that's that. My favorite five cartoons!

I do love other cartoons. I just love these five the MOST.

The world moves for love.

It kneels before it in awe.

Sekarang, saya sedang duduk di depan PC. Dua hari lagi perperiksaan akhir akan sampai. Beberapa orang, termasuk saya, datang ke uni untuk ulangkaji teori teori penonton media.

Fikri kata, filem pendek saya, "Pintu", telah mendapat empat belas komen dalam blog ini. Saya kata, saya mendapati bahawa budak PR saya, Benjamin Thomas, selalu kena tembak kerana dia tu selalu... Saya patut memecatkan dia. Tapi dia tu bagus tau, saya belum kena tembak lagi. Dia tu sudah taken all the shots for saya.

Saya sudah membuang lima minit so far. Biasanya, jika saya guna lima minit dalam Bahasa Ingerris, saya sudah taip blog post yang panjang sepuluh kali ganda.

Wani and Kerry sedang "Anjing Perempuan-kan" atau "mengutuk" perempuan perempuan dalam Friendster mereka yang lebih cantik daripada mereka.

Saya rasa BM saya patut dipuji. Sekurang kurangnya kamu boleh memahami apa yang saya sedang tulis di sini.

Wani kata dia patut pergi ulangkaji. Tapi dia sudah mendeklamasikan perkataan perkataan yang sama sejak pukul tiga. Sekarang sudah pukul lima dan dia masih berfoya foya dengan Fikri. Kerry sedang baca semua yang saya sedand tulis and bodohnya, dia asyik ketawa saja.

BM saya cantik-leh.

I've been practicing my BM with Wani lately. Here's one of the conversations.


TMY: Saya rasa buntut kamu macam buntut katak.

Wani: Katak mana ada buntut?

TMY: EXACTLY!!!

I've been studyin today. I've been reflecting a lot on the things I've learnt over the last few years.

Here are the dominant themes off the top of my head. It's not necessarily academic theories. But it's stuff I've learnt. I don't necessarily agree with them all, but I've learnt them anyway.

1) The media is a supposed to be a mouthpiece for the public, but here in Malaysia it is not.
2) There is too much censorship. They censor anything and everything.
3) The government likes to tell particularly animated and interesting people to shut up.
4) It's really tough to get your publishing license renewed if you're one of those particularly animated and interesting people.
5) Malaysian T.V. suck. Newsreporting as well.
6) BN didn't really win the 1999(I think) elections

before I go on with the list. Let me say that there are a few cats doing their mating calls outside my house. I can hear them from here. It's really irritating. My mom just barged out of the door and is going downstairs to do something about it. Talk about taking action.

K anyway, the list of things I've learnt

7) Malaysia is not as multi-cultural as we think it is.
8) The government oppressed the minority races. They're being ignored!
9)

Those are the dominant themes.

You want to know something?
As much as I agree with the above statements.
Let me say this.

If I was the government, that's exactly how things will be.

Yes, this is a pro-government post. Nothing is ever too pretty, or too ugly, or perfect.
But I'm a power freak. And IF I am in power (that probably will never happen), I'd want to shut as many people up as possible to STAY in power. Not so much to oppress everyone, but to ensure a sense of stability.

I don't really care if the government really is not doing the above. But I would!

K I'm done.

I don't know why is it such a big deal. But it's really a big deal when girl TMY's personal laptop manages to load MSN Minesweeper flags. It rarely happens. She usally plays off her friend's PC but today's a weirdly good day again. We joked about how we should never turn off our PCs to ensure the connection stays on forever and ever and ever and ever and ever until MSN comes up with a new and better game.

But if that happens it means we'd have to log out and on again, and face the risk of not being able toplay any MSN games.

Such a big fuss over some click and bomb game right?

Drama betul.

Exams on Thursday and here I am blogging and doing other stuff.

I watched Star Wars 3 again today, for like the 3rd time. I'm proud to be a fanatic.

*

Here are some photos for the premiere for The Door on the 31st of May, 2005. Also shown on the day was Irregular Instances of Madness, a 5 minute short film, as well as the teaser for Psycho 3.

Thanks Szen for the photos, and the people who showed up to show support.


The crowd minutes before the show. Quite a number showed up late, including 3 lecturers, one or two staff members, and a bunch of students I've never seen before.


Superratty Films being projected.


Psycho 3 teaser. Zul finds his way to my big screen somehow.


Dr.Yeoh, who had a cameo in The Door, together with my publicist/producer/emcee for the day Benjamin Thomas, who also is the main actor in Irregular Instances of Madness. Pic on the right is me mingling with some of the guys. I look nerdy as usual.

So that's that for The Door. If you guys want copies just drop a line at superratty@gmail.com or post a comment here and leave your details. I'll throw in the trailers for the door, as well as Madness.

Also, Fikri mentioned we should do a commentary thingy. So we just might do that. And if we do that soon I'll throw it in the CD as well.

Well, that's that. Four months of work is finally over. Thanks to all my friends who helped me make this happen. It's my first time (I sound so virginal)., and thank for making it a great experience.