Superman Returns
Written by Dan Harris and Michael Dougherty
Starring Brandon Routh, Kate Bosworth, Kevin Spacey, Frank Langella, Parker Posey...
It's a bird.
It's a plane.
It's Superman!
*
Bias rating: A++
Regular rating: A


The first Superman film in nearly 20 years, Superman Returns, has received rave reviews from America's leading movie critics. Superman Returns stars Brandon Routh as the Man Of Steel, Kate Bosworth as Lois Lane, and Kevin Spacey as villain Lex Luthor. Trade paper Variety praised director Bryan Singer's film as "grandly conceived, sensitively drawn and never self-consciously hip. It is sincere, with an artistic elegance and a genuine emotional investment in the material." Writing in Newsweek, critic David Ansen writes: "From the start of this gorgeously crafted epic, you can feel that Singer has real love and respect for the most foursquare comics superhero of them all." The Hollywood Reporter says Superman Returns is "a heartfelt Superman movie that plays to a broad audience." Writing on influential website Ain't It Cool News, Harry Knowles writes: "Just as Batman Begins relaunched an ailing Batman, it sends Superman into the stratosphere." Superman Returns, the first Man Of Steel movie since 1987's Superman IV: The Quest For Peace, opens in the US on June 28. 











Snow White sat by a small fire, holding her cloak tightly. She was thin and weak. Her fair face was pale and slightly grey. Her blood lips were many shades lighter than ever. The Prince of Thieves sat beside her, holding her and rubbing her arms to keep her warm.
“In the land of dead, it is both cold and hot. It is painful and painless. I do not know what good there is in bringing me back from the dead. Here I am cold and helpless, and I am not dead,” said Snow White softly.
“I brought you back from the dead because I love you, and because I can,” answered the Prince.
“None, I didn’t buy you from the dead, I stole you.”
“That is what I am afraid of. She will come for me, for us, and the world.”
“Who?”
“The Queen of the Land of Never Return. She will scour the land for us. We must not run, or she will cover the kingdom with death, and the curse of death is harder to break than the curse of eternal winter.”
“We will worry about that when that happens, my love. But come away with me now, and let us share our love, even if it is not for long.”
Snow White rested her weary head on the chest of the Prince of Thieves and held him tightly in her arms. She was grateful for his love, as fanatical as it may be. There was some warmth in the world after all. But they would not have been able to stay long. She knew the Queen of the
“We must go now, Snow White. They are coming,” said the Prince of Thieves.
“Let her come. Broker with her,” at last conceding that she wants the Prince of Thieves more than she wants death to be upon her.
The Prince of Thieves was slightly stimulated by that thought, but realized he had nothing to trade with.
“Poor things,” said a voice that sounded like a tink and a bell. It came from everywhere, and sounded sweeter than the sweetest voice. “The Prince of Thieves can steal anything in the world, but he gave up his kingdom just to steal his lover from the dead. Silly, silly.”
Snow White sat up and looked at the Prince of Thieves, “You sold your kingdom?”
“No he did not,” said Tinkerbell, the Queen of the
“He stole you fair and square, Snow White. Only on my way here I had to pass by his land. Or what we once knew as his land. I heard the people cheer at the melting ice, but soon it was replaced by a plague of death. That is the penalty of your offence, Prince of Thieves.”
“You’re going to destroy the world, aren’t you?” asked Snow White?
“Your boyfriend gave me an excuse to come to this land, so, why not? Many souls. I like an orchestra of screaming souls. Wouldn’t you?”
“You have a weird hobby, Tinky,” commented the Prince of Thieves.
“Oh please.”
The Prince of Thieves stood up and faced the small but imposing Queen Tinkerbell. He asked, in the most clichéd way any Prince would ask, “What do you want?”
“Snow White of course, silly. Princes are such idiots. Don’t the evil ones always want the princess? I wish princes had some brains to go with their good looks. I mean, look at you, you, Prince of Thieves. Look at the sky? See the black mist that is slowly spiraling into this world to entrap every life into my underworld prison? You are indirectly, the cause of this world’s impending doom! How stupid can you be? For what? This pale little adopted princess?” blah-ed Queen Tinkerbell.
“I’ll trade with you.”
“Trade what? Your clothes? Don’t want them. Your body? Sorry, not into princes. Too much plastic,” said Queen Tinkerbell sarcastically.
“Let’s trade curses. Promises that we dread to keep. You have yours. I have mine.”
Tinkerbell’s emerald eyes fixed on the robber’s princely brown eyes.
“Interesting.”
*
In some of the earliest days since the world began, there lived a shoemaker who was very poor. He struggled to make good shoes, and had difficulty putting food on the table for his family. The two of them were grateful for each other’s love, and didn’t mind the slight hunger, though of course, they wished that fortune would favor them a little bit more.
So two little elves visited the old couple’s home and started sewing shoes of fine quality fit for people of fine stature. Although they were only inches tall, the elves handled the tools so eloquently they sewed nineteen sets of shoes of all types, boots, slippers, sandals, and sneakers, so on and so forth, for both male and female. They left the shoes on the wooden rack in the workshop when the sun started to rise.
So the old couple woke up to find newly made shoes in the shoemaker’s workshop, and upon displaying it to the public, sold them all within minutes for a month’s worth of silver.
The second night passed, and more footwear was set to be sold. People of regal status visited his shop the second day, after hearing of his perfect products from the day before. The old shoemaker sold all of the clothes for a season’s worth of silver.
The third night, the shoemaker and his wife peeked through little curtains and learned about the two little elves. They witnessed the two naked elves sewing an unspeakable pair of slippers. It was too beautiful. And the shoemaker imagined that he would be rich for many years to come. It exuded royalty, and it whispered dark deeds.
The next day, that very pair of unspeakable slippers was bought neither by a man, nor a woman. And it was sold for a lifetime’s worth of gold, silver, and all forms of precious stones put together.
And that was the story of the elves and the shoemaker.
*
What they traded, and what they bartered, was never disclosed in any of the books or tales or myths or anything else that told stories. But what we know is that Prince of Thieves bartered for the freedom of Snow White, and all the lives of Fairyland. All this, he did merely with spoken words and kind gestures
Queen Tinkerbell returned to the
As for the Prince of Thieves and his beloved Snow White, they departed Fairyland. To where, we do not know. But it is certain, that they lived happily ever after.
-The End-The complete Fairy Tales saga can be read in the following chronological order.
Episode 1: The Lost Princess
Episode 2: Acts of the Servant in-Law
Episode 3: The Fairy of Fairies
Original "Fairy Tales" Trilogy
Episode 4: The Coronation of Cinderella
Episode 5: The Whitening of the Snow
Episode 6: The Heart Made of Glass
