Life With My Angel

Burt's Bees Baby Oil





It is delicious and non-toxic!

Our puppy ate about almost 3/4 of a bottle of baby oil!! Every night, I have to tell her to stop licking Eden after her bath. Somehow she must have gotten into my suitcase, gotten out the bottle, chewed the top off, and eaten most of it! The good news is, she's still alive and not at all sick!!! Bad news, I have to buy more sooner than I expected!

Seriously though, if I had to buy just one product, it would be this one. It is great in the bath so her skin doesn't get too dry, great after bath before bed on the back of her hair and her skin, and a few drops with water on the top of her head before bed, and great mixed with water in the morning to help her hair curl. Eden's hair and skin isn't really very dry, so I have to be careful not to use too much of any product, especially on the top of her head, so this lasts us a long time. And it would last much longer if the puppy wouldn't eat it!

Eden loves to play the piano, Salchicha loves to sing while she's playing!

Eden is obviously very weak. She is SO MUCH better, but still very weak. At this point, doctors still believe her severe malnutrition and lack of stimulation from 15 months in an orphanage is what has caused it. It may be more, but right now, that's what everyone is thinking. It is so hard to convince her to spend time on her belly, even when I'm playing games with her. She is an expert roller, so I put her on her belly to play with me, and she flips right over to her back.

I have lots of friends from Latin America. They are all very quick to give advice about how to raise children. They are also all very worried about my precious baby girl who is so weak. Here is some of the expert advice I have received from them.

Emma (from Mexico): Find some arena, a little bit caliente. Quitale the clothes of Eden. Ponle Eden in the arena y poner arena caliente on the legs of Eden. Then she camina! (Yes, that's really what she said. She speaks Spanglish.)

Marina (from Nicaragua): Get an egg. Take the yolk of the egg and rub it on Eden's knees. Then she will walk!

Think I should try their suggestions???

Today we had what seems like dr appointment 10000. GI doctor. I was hoping she would have some suggestions for the continued poop issues of my girl. Her only suggestion was an upper and lower gi endoscopy. I'm going to consult with an IA Pediatrician first. I'm tired of going from doctor to doctor when they know nothing about international adoption.

Anyway. We had to do all the new patient forms, and give the receptionist our insurance card. On the form you check if your child was adopted so that you don't have to fill out all the medical history that you don't know. The receptionist saw it and here is our conversation from there:

R: Oh, so she isn't on your insurance.

Me: Yes, she has been on my insurance since the first day she was home.

R: Oh, well, where are her court papers?

Me: Court papers????

R: Yes, we can't treat her without her court papers since she isn't really your daughter.

Me: What????

R: No, legally we can't treat her without her adoption papers since you are just her guardian.

Me: She is my DAUGHTER. She has my name. She is on my insurance. We have been to 10 other doctors and she was treated with no problem. You do NOT have to have her adoption papers to treat her.

All I can say is it was a very good thing I was holding my baby girl!!!

I told the doctor before I left that she needed to let her receptionist know that it is an office policy, not a legal policy, to see adoption paperwork before treatment. And that she should NEVER tell an adoptive mom that her child is not hers.

Because Eden is SOOOOOOO MINE!!!!

I put the Christmas tree up hoping it would encourage Eden to be a little more mobile. She is very comfortable in our house, and doesn't feel like she needs to do anything except sit or lay and play with her toys. Which is great in some ways, but I have to get this girl off her back so she can get stronger!!

So she woke up from nap, and saw it right away. Here is our conversation:

Eden: Dat?

Me: It's a Christmas Tree.

Eden: (nodding her head) Dat.

Me: Do you want to touch it?

Eden: (shaking her head no) Ahnt!

So much for encouraging her to move. She wants NOTHING to do with the tree!!

or 4 1/2 since we have been home! I have no idea what I ever did without her!! I know I definitely got more sleep and had a cleaner house, but I really must have been bored all the time!

She has changed so much since coming home! I'm amazed every day by how perfectly she fits into my family. God definitely knew what He was doing when blessed me with Eden!

She now understands pretty much everything I say. Unless she chooses not to understand. :) She is VERY sweet, but definitely has a mind of her own. She still prefers to sign. She signs all done, more, milk, please, thank you, cheese, cracker/cookie, I love you, drink, baby, Jesus, book, yes, no. She would sign more, but that's all I know!! Her words--ball, duck, mama, nana, pappah, Nathan, Ellie, light, door, stop, no, drink, that, cat, hi, bye, touchdown, and that's all I can think of right now. Her favorite word, though, "da" It means pretty much everything.
She makes sounds for cat, dog, cow, lamb, duck, horse, owl, frog--but frog she does in Spanish--"gua, gua'

Her loves:

Baths!!! :) cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles, bubbles, the ring stacker, books--especially "Who is coming to our house?", the dvd she calls "hi", JJ at school, her puppy, her baby doll
And, of course, her mommy

Dislkes:

men, doctors, any food other than cheese, beans, avocado, mum mums, and yogurt bites

Fears:

disappearing so quickly!!!! But she is very afraid of riding in the car at night.

She had a hard time with Thanksgiving, the change in routine, and let me know by not sleeping. So I am a very tired mommy, thankful for a week break coming in just 2 weeks. And very thankful I decided Disneyworld was out for this year.

She is doing so well, though, and continues to be such a blessing to me and everyone around her!!

I have no photos b/c I lost the cord to connect my camera to the computer. But I borrowed a camera, so video coming soon!

My 2 yr old niece is so smart and way ahead for her age. She talks as well as a four or five year old, and is hilarious b/c the comments coming from her mouth are definitely from the brain of a two year old.

My sister was keeping her today, and she wanted to hear a Bible story. She wouldn't choose one, so my sister showed her the picture of the Nativity scene, and asked if she wanted to listen to that story. She said she did. My sister asked her if she knew who was in that picture. She said, "Yes, it's baby Santa!"

My sister asked her later what does the horse say. She said, "Ride 'em, cowboy!"

The child cracks me up!!!

Eden's speech therapist gave me more signs to work on with her because it's her favorite way to communicate and she learns signs very quickly. One of the new signs is "yes". She learned it quickly, so I thought I would teach her how to sign "Yes, Jesus loves me" yesterday. We sang it a few times. Last night, I thought she was asking for milk, but when I asked her if that's what she wanted, she told me no and signed "love"! So smart!! I should have known she was saying "yes" and not "milk"! Her speech therapist was almost in tears today when I had her sign Jesus!
Baby girl amazes me everyday!

Eden loves to sing. Actually, I sing, and she does the hand motions. She lets me know what song I need to sing by doing the motions. Which was easy when she only knew a few songs, but now she knows so many! And she knows new songs from daycare that I don't know. So now, she starts with the hand motions, and I start singing. Then she shakes her head no, and says, "AHNT!". Then I try another song. We do this over, and over, and over, and usually both of us are laughing hysterically and have to stop! She is so much fun!!

Here's another of her favorite activities, calling the Hogs!!




My sweet, smart, silly girl!

Today I had my class listen to a song called "La Historia de Juan". It's about a little boy who lives on the streets and has given up on life. We listen to it every year to listen for the preterite tense, and to talk about the problem of street children in Latin America. Every year we have a good discussion, my students share their experiences, I share mine, we talk about how sad it is, what we can do to change it, the reasons behind little ones living on the street, etc. . .

But not this year.

I have spent a lot of my life in Latin America. Poverty doesn't surprise me. Homeless children and children living in extreme poverty do not surprise me. I have fed them, had them in my home, been in their homes, played with them, bought them shoes, taught them, been their "nurse", loved them.

But when the child is your own, everything is different.

My baby girl had all but given up on life. She didn't really have a bond with a specific caregiver. She refused to eat. She rarely smiled. She stayed propped in bed all the time because she didn't like to be on the floor. She was fearful and sad and sick. I was told by the staff that I was brave to be her mother.

So we listened to the song, but I couldn't have the discussion. They got a brief summary, but that's it. Because it doesn't matter how much time you've spent in a developing country working with orphans, and street kids, and other children living in extreme poverty, when it's YOUR baby, everything is just different. I didn't expect it to be so different.

I'm still processing my trip to Ethiopia. We have had a really smooth transition, but I have been in "get my baby well" mode since I got home, and haven't really processed much. Much of the trip was really easy for me-I thought the hotels were fine, the food was different, but good, I'm used to not flushing toilet paper, we had water the whole time, the electricity went out some, but less than I expected. And life goes on without electricity--it's when the water goes that makes it hard. Ethiopia is so very beautiful, and so very rich, in spite of the poverty. I'm so thankful I was able to go, and hope to bring Eden back someday.

And right now, my healthy, smiley, smart, baby girl, who didn't stop eating today until she went to bed, and who now gets into my cabinets, pulls everything out of my purse, and gets stuck crawling under her bed, is asleep next to my bed. And I better get to sleep so I can keep up with her tomorrow!

My baby girl is afraid of LOTS of things. And I don't blame her. She's been through so much more that I even know in her short life. And someday, she will probably overcome most of them, but until then, I have to have wisdom to know how to help her deal with her fears.
When I brought her home, she was afraid of the sun, wind, bubbles, animals, baby dolls, the park, swings, her highchair, exersaucer, and carseat. Now she's okay with all of them, and really likes to swing and ride in the car and sit in her highchair.

She's still terrified of water (bathtime is fun!) and grass.

Something about church also scares her. She's fine when we are there, but wakes up almost every hour EVERY Sunday night.

But mainly, she's afraid of me leaving. She screams everyday when I leave her at school. She's happy in a few minutes after I leave, but always cries when we get to her class in the morning. In public, she holds on to me as tightly as she can with one arm, then makes the rest of her body stiff so no one else can try to take her. If anyone asks to hold her, she tells them no (in Eden language it's a furious head shake and "AHNT!!" or "BUP!!"--her newest word for no). I usually have her in a sling or carrier so she feels more secure.

At home, though, she's soooooo happy!!! And at her Nana's house. The two places where she can completely be herself. Which is why I stay home a lot. And why we won't be joining the rest of my family at Disneyworld for Christmas. The more comfortable she is here, the more comfortable she is in other places. So we stay home. Because I love seeing her look like this:

Today Eden kept signing "eat" all afternoon! She ate almost 1/2 of a grilled cheese sandwich, some refried beans, and baby mum mums! No choking at all!! AND she drank 24 oz of Pediasure today! AND she figured out how to use her sippy cup, so she drank some water, also!
Maybe someday she will be out of her size 2 diapers and be able to face forward in her car seat!! And maybe she will be off Pediasure before she goes to kindergarten!

I met the tiniest, most beautiful, 18 month old baby girl I had ever seen. Her eyes danced, her legs were stiff, her size 3 sandals too big. She didn't cry, she actually had a tiny smile on her face when I held her. Her ears were draining, her chest rattling, her fever high. I covered her in my mom's jacket, and she fell asleep.



She had very little head control, her back was so stiff I couldn't put her in sitting position, she cried every time my mom even looked at her!!!

Now, just 11 weeks later, she's such a different baby!! She smiles all the time, and has a new "I'm so cute" smile!



She's doing so much I never would have thought she could do!!

She can:

Sit and play without support

Put her entire body weight on her legs

Point to her nose, belly, and tongue all the time, usually point to her ears, mouth, and hands

Call the Hogs WOO PIG SOOIE!!!

Do the hand motions for Itsy bitsy spider, God made the big round sun, Soy rana mediana, Fuzzy caterpillar, This little light of mine, I'm all wrapped up, all tied up (and others she has learned this week at school)

Recognize cat, dog, baby, car, ball in her favorite book

Her favorite word is "da?" (What's that?) She has learned everything has a name, and wants to know the name of everything!

She loves watching lights turn on and off (and, thanks to her pappaw, she thinks lights are to be turned on and off all the time, whenever she wants to see them go on and off!)

She's gone from throwing all toys to stacking blocks, feeding baby dolls, and putting things in and dumping them out of containers

She interacts with people she knows now, though she prefers to have mommy close by

She loves her Nana, she smiles instead of cries when she sees her!


Our biggest challenge--

FOOD!!!!

It's a challenge to get her to take 24 oz of pediasure everyday, and getting her to eat anything else is so hard! She does like guacamole and refried beans, sometimes yogurt, and carrots, potatoes, and tomato sauce with berbere. Loves ice cream and chocolate.
Though hair cream, she'll eat that!!




She sleeps pretty well, much better this week after starting school! I think she would sleep all night if I could ever get her to eat enough!!!


This week, she started therapy school. I'm part time still until November so she can ease into the change. She gets LOTS of therapy everyday. And they all love her!! Her director came to me today and said after meeting her, there are several people who work with her who have started thinking about adopting a baby with physical challenges.

I am so very amazed at how many lives she has already touched in the short time I have known her! I'm so thankful God placed her in my life!

Today was the best court date ever!! Lasted about 5 minutes, and Eden's adoption was recognized in the state of Arkansas, and her name legally changed from Mitike Elizabeth to Eden Sara Mitike. I got so many compliments on how sweet and good and beautiful she is--and I have to agree! I am so very blessed with such an amazing little girl!





She's sitting up so well these days! And smiles for the camera!

When finally I decided to adopt, I was very open in age range, gender, and special needs. As a teacher and missionary, I have been so very blessed by many children with special needs throughout my life. At first it was a little intimidating, but after a while, I forgot that they were any different from anyone else. And the joy they brought to those around them was such a blessing!!

I didn't begin researching adoption specifically to adopt a child with special needs. At first I, like many other adoptive families, wanted to adopt the youngest, healthiest infant possible. But once I started looking at things that were considered special needs, like an extra finger, being in a sibling group, heart murmur, I realized lots of people I know would be considered to have special needs. My sisters and I all had heart murmurs when we were little, one of my sisters is deaf in one ear, my niece had a grand mal seizure last year--and really, there's nothing any of us aren't able to do.

So, before I applied to the Ethiopia program, I applied to Holt's waiting child program. Open to any country, and many special needs. The week after I applied, Eden's picture was placed on the photolisting, I requested her info, and the rest is history!

When I received Eden's referral, she was tiny, malnourished, and a little delayed. I felt like since she was in an orphanage, she wouldn't gain much weight or developmentally before I went to get her. And I was right. She's still very tiny and delayed. But has a very good prognosis with lots of love, food, and therapy. I am amazed everyday at how much she's changing!

Sometimes I feel sad for her being so far behind others her age. Then I remember, she doesn't know she's behind, and she would rather me hold her all day long everyday than learn to pull herself to sitting, crawl, or walk!! And I think of how much she can do now--just after 7 weeks! My girl is so determined, so amazing!

And, even though she's 20 months old, I got my infant girl, in size and development. I get to see most of her "firsts", and she still wears 6-12 month clothes. She's also pretty healthy! She smiles all the time, and is just a joy!

So, if you are considering adoption, pray about whether or not one of the waiting children might be waiting for you!

Here's Eden giving Baby Elephant a bottle:

Eden has beautiful hair, at least on most of her head. She has soft, loose curls on the top and the sides, but some bald spots and a patch of really dry hair in the back from laying on her back so long. I'm still trying out products to see what works best, and just trying to get her used to my playing with her hair. She isn't that fast yet, but it's amazing how quickly she can get away from me when I start putting things in her hair!!

The hair on the top of her head is really growing, and I managed to get it into 2 very tiny ponytails this week:




Isn't she adorable!!!

One thing I knew before I met Eden was that she liked to suck her 3 middle fingers.

Here's her photo at referral:



In April:



And the first week I met her:



The week in Ethiopia, she'd look at me, put her fingers in her mouth, and go to sleep. I'd hear her in the middle of the night sicking those fingers. The same thing happened the first week home. She would put those fingers in her mouth to help her go to sleep and then again to put herself to sleep if she woke up in the night.

She went through a week of huge sleep issues, and I noticed during that time she REFUSED to put her fingers in her mouth! She didn't go to sleep, and wouldn't do anything that made her go to sleep. The past few weeks, she has been sleeping pretty much like a normal toddler. I rock her, she goes to sleep, wakes up once or twice and needs comforting, and goes back to sleep. She ends up sleeping 11 or so hours a night, and I get between 6 and 8 hours. Not bad at all. She still puts herself back to sleep, unless she decides she's all done sleeping! But I have noticed she doesn't suck her fingers anymore. Not at all.
Which I thought was strange, but I realized I'm her comfort now. She knows I'm here. She knows I come when she cries. She knows I feed her. She has stopped panicking for her bottle, she is VERY possessive of me, but she knows I'm hers. And she makes sure everyone else knows that, too!

I'm concerned about when she starts daycare, how she will be affected by that at first. I'm very curious to see if those fingers go back into her mouth for a while until she knows I always come back for her.

Oh, how I love this girl!!!

We met with our lawyer yesterday, and our documents for Eden's adoption re-finalization will be ready next week! So we should go to court for her to become a citizen within the next month!!

Eden is doing well communicating. She LOVES to sign, and is able to figure out word meaning more quickly by doing that. She will even make up her own signs to try an explain things!

We have been signing "all done" since we got home when she finishes her bottle. She figured out quickly it meant that she was finished eating. In the past week, I have taught her to say "all done" when she wants out of her high chair, exersaucer, or when she's finished with something else to keep her from throwing a tantrum. It has worked well so far. So she really understands the meaning now. Which is great, except. . .

AT ONE THIRTY IN THE MORNING!!! Yes, she was "all done" sleeping at 1:30 am. So much for no tantrums because she was certain she was NOT going back to sleep. And I was certain she was NOT staying up!!! Thankfully, she was tired, so after yelling at me a couple of minutes, she was back asleep!

Miss Eden is soooo smart! She's going to keep her momma on her toes!!

Eden will now sit in her high chair long enough for me to eat at the table!!!

Since I have to go back to work mid-September, baby girl will have to go to school. Before I knew exactly how delayed she was, I planned to have her go to a small Christian day school close to where I teach. Since she is so delayed, that isn't really the best place for her. But because the school where she needs to go requires children to be on medica*d, I have been running around like crazy since she has been home trying to figure out what hoops I must jump through to get Eden the help she needs. Thankfully her doctor is wonderful, and after the therapy school talked with him yesterday, they have decided to admit her before all her paperwork is processed! Soooooo very thankful for that!!! We would be waiting 6 months to get in otherwise, and we just can't wait that long! And she will be able to stay there until Kindergarten if needed.

I am so very amazed by Eden's determination. She works so hard to sit up and crawl and stand--she makes me feel lazy!!! I just adore this little girl. I miss her so much when she's asleep, what am I going to do when I have to leave her all day????

Two weeks ago, we landed in Arkansas. Lots of family and friends were there to meet us, and she even smiled at some of them.
She has changed so much since then, and amazes me every day!!

Here are the highlights:

She has gained over 1 lb--but size 2 diapers are still a little big even fastened as tightly as they go!

She says "no, no" and shakes her finger at the dog, or shakes her head when she doesn't want to do something, "hi", "bye-bye", "mama", "dada", "all done", and "yay!"

She signs more, all done, and milk

She LOVES talking on the phone, and gets upset if I don't let her say "hi" when people call. She also uses everything she finds, including her bib, as a phone!

She is pretty good at throwing tantrums, but all that leg kicking can't be bad for her tiny legs!

She recognizes that she is mine and I am hers and might let someone else hold her until she realizes it's not me--takes about a minute!

She sleeps a lot, up to 12 hours at night, just rarely is it uninterrupted.

She can sit up for 5 minutes at a time, and is able to pull herself about 1/2 way to the sitting position.

She is just so cute, and I'm so very blessed to have her in my life!

First time I met her:



Two days ago:

Because doing this





and this




is way too much fun!

Here's Eden from the first time I saw her until I brought her home! My beautiful girl!

She's beautiful, sweet, and so much fun!!! I'll post more later!

Here is her almost finished room with her almost packed suitcase!

I HAVE TRAVEL APPROVAL!!!!!!!!

My mom and I will arrive in Ethiopia on her (my mom's) birthday! WOOHOO!!!

I will be holding my baby girl SOON!!!!!

Thank you Jesus!!!

So we passed court 5 weeks ago. Maybe we'll get great news tomorrow?? Eden turns 18 months tomorrow, so I'm thinking it would be a perfect day for great news!!!

I've been out of school for a week now, and pretty much everything is ready for her. I'm enjoying a wonderful, and much needed, vacation in Washington State. I have to say 60 for a high beats 95 any day!

Praying for a week of wonderful news!!!

This is too much. We lost another of our young men from church this morning. Working with youth, you know that tragedy happens. But this many kids in this short amount of time?????

Really. It's been too long. I need my girl, and still have no idea when I will get her.

I should be great at this by now. Here's my crazy waiting timeline:

October 31 Apply to Waiting Child Program--India and Ethiopia

November 9 See the first pictures of my beautiful girl

November 19 Ask to go to committee

December 3 Committee--asked one more question

December 7 Matched with my girl!

December 23 Last home study interview

February 1 Home study FINALLY in my hands

February 10 Dossier to my agency

March 6 Dossier to Ethiopia

April 9 First court date--postponed

April 30 Second court date--birth family didn't come

May 17 Third court date--passed!


STILL no travel dates. I was told this week they expect me to travel soon, just waiting on the confirmation from Ethiopia to schedule my Embassy date. I decided to start packing anyway, hoping I really will travel soon, and want to be ready if I don't have much notice.

It is really hard knowing that if I would have passed my first, or even my second time, I would have her in my arms by now. And even though I passed later, I thought SURELY I would know my travel dates by this time!

It's also so hard knowing she has been in care FOURTEEN MONTHS! Since she was a little under 4 months old. She knows nothing but living in an orphanage.

I am just so tired of this!!!! I want my girl home!!!

Yesterday, my 2 yr old niece came over for a little while. She LOVES to talk on the phone. Actually, she just loves to talk. She saw Eden's photo and said, "I call Baby Eden." So she dialed the phone (the keypad was locked), and started talking. "Hi, Baby Eden! Where are you? I Aunt Beth's house. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!" Apparently Eden is hilarious!!! :)

Watching my 2 youngest nieces at supper last night made me even more anxious to get my girl home. In age, she is right between the 2 of them. In size and development, she's closer to the 7 month old. I'm pretty excited to see all 3 of them grow up together!

Because there are so many unknowns about Eden's size, developmental level, when she's coming home, etc. . ., the faculty and staff of my school decided to give me a money tree.  Actually, a piggy bank with tutu and tiara!





















Someone once told me that one of the best ways to show you love someone is to love their children. Now I know how true that is! And this little girl is so loved!

Now, if I can only get a travel date!

Today we lost another student in an accident on the river. We've now lost 5 of our kids in 2 months. So very difficult.

I have 15 photos, 3 minutes of video, LOTS of doctors reports, and 4 social reports about my girl. Partly because she has been in care 13 months now, partly because her health has been the object of MUCH concern since she has been in the care center in Addis. And this concern is coming from doctors and nurses very used to working with severely malnourished children. But through all of this, I have probably learned more about my daughter than many people do before meeting their children.

Here's what I know about Eden:

She is BEAUTIFUL!!! Seriously. My baby is not cute, she's gorgeous. And it's not just a momma's love, everyone who sees her photos says the same thing.
She sucks her 3 middle fingers.
She's tiny. At 10 months she was the size of a 1 or 2 month old. She gains 1/2 lb each month if she's lucky, though she's had a month or 2 where she gained 1 lb.
She is very curious and alert. I have never seen a baby so small looking at the camera in every photo! In the video she watches EVERYTHING, follows the people and their voices with her eyes.
Her fine motor skills are good. I watch her play with a little toy, and she can manipulate it really easily.
She loves to be held! (Pretty excited about this b/c I don't plan to put her down!) It's written in her reports, but in the photos you can see how very cuddly she is.
She's crawling. A huge improvement from what was expected.
She has stranger anxiety.

What I wonder:

How long will she be terrified of me?
How long will it take her to bond with me? Me with her? (I know it will just be survival at first, hoping and praying we get through that pretty quickly!)
Is there something more than just malnutrition wrong with her?
Will we end up in the hospital as soon as we get home?
When will she get home?

At this point, I'm hoping I will travel in July. Hoping for the 1st embassy date, though not much is logical at this point. Praying for her health, for her little heart to be prepared for this huge transition, for us to attach well and quickly, and get past survival to routine soon after getting home. Getting her room ready, buying a few clothes, diapers, starting to pack. While I would have loved to have her home all summer, it will be nice to have a few days off to get things done. And I'm so not upset that I don't have to start back to work in the middle of August! Knowing through all this, God's timing is best and she is in His hands.

And she's mine! :)

Court Case Approval!!! The BEST email I have ever read! So thrilled, so thankful, so blessed that she is finally mine!

Now the wait for travel. Who knows when that will be! But SHE"S MINE!!!!!

So there's still hope. But I know now that no news isn't necessarily good news. It could just be that the electricity is out in Ethiopia! Praying!

I didn't think I would be this nervous this time. The "what ifs?" keep playing through my head, no matter how busy I stay.

But I'm still praying and hoping things will finally go well tomorrow night. Praying that her relative makes it there safely, that the case is heard, and that the testimony of her relative is sufficient.

Thirteen months. That's how long she's been there. She needs to come home.

How I hope it is!

My case will be heard, once again, this coming Monday. One of her relatives will be there. They are hopeful the testimony of this relative will be sufficient. Praying it is.

Nothing.

No new court date.

No news.

Nothing.

And I can't do anything about it.

Please, God, don't let my baby girl be forgotten. Please put her on the minds and hearts of everyone involved in getting her through court so that they won't rest until she passes.

This has been a hard week. It started off with being completely exhausted after staying up late both Friday and Saturday night when several tornadoes came within a few miles of my house. This happens way too often, and I did talk to someone this week about building me a tornado shelter. But it was a hard start to my week.
This Friday was also Senior Skip Day, and every milestone for seniors makes me miss sweet Chris. He is so much better off right now than we are, but we miss him soooooo much!
As far as my court case, I heard nothing this week. Still not rescheduled. No idea when it might be heard again. Very hard after such a disappointment last week. So I wait and pray. And it's so hard.

But I was taken care of last week during the storms. Some friends of mine lost EVERYTHING in the floods in Nashville. I still have my cute little house with my huge yard and flowers and tomatoes and cucumbers. And a pretty pink room full of clothes just waiting for baby girl.
And I still have lots of sweet kids to love at school! Who are here and need me now.
And baby girl is doing much better than I could have imagined. And my agency has gone above and beyond to make sure I have the most accurate information possible about her health. And to make sure she's getting healthy. So even though I want her home right now, I know she is okay.

It still doesn't mean it's easy. There are still days when the only prayer I can say is, "Please, God!" But I know He hears anyway, and knows my heart. I know there are so many people praying for me and my sweet girl, even when I don't feel like it. But I do want her home right now. And even though I know things happen in God's time, even though people are encouraging me and praying for me, it is still so very hard.

One of my current favorite songs is sung by Amy Grant. I can't say that I love her, but I heard this song on the way to the wake for Chris, and it seems so fitting for how I feel right now. Thankful I don't have to say anything. Thankful He knows my heart, even when I can't share with Him what's on it.

Here are the lyrics:

God loves a lullaby in a mother’s tears in the dead of night
Better than a Hallelujah sometimes
God loves a drunkard’s cry, the soldier’s plea not to let him die
Better than a Hallelujah sometimes

We pour out our miseries, God just hears a melody •
Beautiful the mess we are, the honest cries, of breaking hearts

A woman holding on for life, a dying man giving up the fight
Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes
Tears of shame for what’s been done
The silence when the words won’t come
Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes

We pour out our miseries, God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are, the honest cries, of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah

Better than a church bell ringing
Better than a choir singing out, singing out

We pour out our miseries, God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are, the honest cries, of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah


I wish I had her with me tomorrow for Mother's Day, I hope it won't be too much longer before I hold her. But with no new court date, it seems like it will be forever before I will see her. Until then, I'll fix her room, learn to make hair bows, to make injera and other Ethiopian foods, hang out with my nieces and nephews, finish school, sleep, run, and anything else to help me stay busy. And know she's in the best hands of all, God's hands. And I am, too.

Okay, not really. But she has gained about 3 1/2 lbs. since the beginning of December, and grown 2 1/5 inches! So thankful she is doing so much better.

Still waiting for a new court date.

Come on, mountains, move!!! I need my girl home with me!

I love music. I love to listen to music, I love to play the piano, I love to sing. I always have a song in my head. I wake up in the morning with a song in my head. There's a song in my head while I'm teaching, and when I'm at home alone watching TV.

For the last few weeks, I've had the same songs playing in my head over and over. This is my favorite of those songs. With all the delays and uncertainties in my court case, it's really easy to get discouraged. But I keep reminding myself that my God can move mountains, and He can get that one last thing for baby girl to finally have my last name. So I'm praying He will be moving mountains over the next few weeks in Ethiopia, and trying not to get too discouraged waiting for my girl! It's amazing how much you can love and miss someone so much you have never even met!

Everything was there for court today EXCEPT her birth family. No idea when my 3rd court date will be. Praying it's very soon, and her birth family will be able to get there on that day.

WOOHOO!!!! She's started crawling! And has made great improvements since they have begun physical therapy with her!!! The best news I could get, other than the news that she is finally mine!!!!

Now, to start baby-proofing!

Praying she will have my last name before another month goes by.

So court date #2 is next Friday, April 30th. I'm not so excited about it this time. Even though they send you an email that your date is subject to change, when it really is changed, it's not at all fun. I just want my baby!!!!!!

Baby girl now has a pink room, and her mommy has pink hair and pink spots on her feet. I'm sure it will come off eventually! But her room looks great! Hope her cousins aren't too disappointed their playroom has been turned into a baby room! They are pretty excited to meet her, so I think they'll be okay with the trade-off!

Praying. . .

I found out this morning that my first hearing was postponed, no reason given. So sad. I don't have a new date yet, either. I know she is in God's hands, and I know He knows what's best for her, and loves her more than I ever could, but it doesn't make it any easier. But I do know, when she gets older and I tell her of her adoption story, I will be able to tell her she had so many people loving her here, and praying for her to come home.

I love speaking Spanish. There are some things I'm able to express better in Spanish than in English.

Like the verb Esperar. To wait, to hope.

This whole adoption process has been full of waiting and hoping. I still don't have the results of my court date, and am starting to get nervous. But until I get news, sigo esperando, I keep waiting and hoping.

Praying that no news is good news. But it could just be no news!

. . .the courts will open in Ethiopia, and my case either will or won't be heard. And if it's heard, it may or may not be approved.

I am so very sad for her birth family to have to relinquish her once again. Praying they will have a safe trip there and back, and that they will have peace.

But I'm also very anxious to get her home. One year is such a long time to be without a family. Especially when you've only been alive 15 months.

Praying that everything will be in place in just a few hours to make her mine forever!

My court date is scheduled for next Friday, April 9!!! Praying everything will come together to pass the first time!!

That's how I have felt since I got a phone call at 9 am on March 20th. When I learned that 4 of our students had been killed in a car accident. When I learned that one of them was a sweetheart from church, who has been part of my life for the past 10 years.

They were doing nothing wrong, it was just a crazy accident. It touched the officer on the scene so much, he drove from out of state to talk with our students yesterday morning. It's rare he sees an accident where teenagers weren't doing anything wrong, and he wanted to make sure everyone knew the facts. I was so thankful he came.

Chris was an amazing young man. I am so proud of him. Despite odds against him, he had chosen to do what was right. I the past week, I have heard so many stories about how he touched the lives of so many people. He had the best dimples that were there even when he wasn't smiling. And he hugged me every time he saw me, even if he was with his friends, and even if he had to walk across the building to find me.

I was there at the wake, the funeral, the graveside service, the family dinner, but it still is so hard to believe. It felt like I was watching a movie, not at all real. I know Chris is fine, better than fine. I just miss him.

Not much happened in my adoption world this week. I did get a letter saying my immigration approval has been uploaded in the national visa directory, so I should be great for travel when I pass court.

I don't call my agency often, but since I was off this week, I felt the need to hear the voice of someone and make sure they have everything they need from me to get baby girl home. They told me they think my case has been filed with court, and I probably won't have to make two trips to get her if that goes through. Notice the uncertainty. Really, we won't know anything for sure until I have a court date.

There have been LOTS of families blessed with referrals this week. So excited for all of them! One family was referred twins! How exciting! There have been no court dates scheduled this week, as far as I know. Praying that the court dates will be as plentiful next week as referrals were this week!

Today baby girl is 15 months old. I pray she is stronger and healthier than last month.

She has now been care for 11 months. Most of her life. We need a court date soon. She's been there way too long.

This is where my mom and dad are right now.

My I-171H came in the mail today!  I am approved to adopt one child of either gender ages 0 to 24 months with special needs!

Yesterday was the end of a very long week.  Two days of literacy tests make the week seem to double.  I was very upset to wake up and realize it wasn't Saturday.  Add to that starting the day with a pep assembly at 8:40 am for our basketball girls, and the day got even longer, and the kids even crazier.

That's all I can say.

Guess what made it to Ethiopia this past weekend??!!??!!

Last night, much of my family was together for the 2nd birthday party of my cousin's little girl. 

My dossier was in D.C. last week.  Surely it can't take much longer for it to get to Addis!!

This week started out with really good news for my agency.  After not knowing when or if there would be March embassy dates, those waiting to travel found out there were two!!  Very exciting for those families!  Then we got an email about only having one embassy date in April.  I won't be traveling in April, but it could slow travel times down a little for me since there will be fewer travel spots before me.  The same night, I found out times for singles could be quite a bit slower than originally thought.  All of that really concerns me because baby girl needs to be home!  So I emailed the program director, and she was very reassuring.  She doesn't think there's any reason our court date will be delayed, and she is concerned about getting baby girl home, also.  That made me feel so much better.  

My agency doesn't give updates very often.  From what I understand, they try to give them quarterly.  Unless something isn't right with your baby.  Then you get them more often.  I have lots of updates already.  So while all the other adoptive parents are so excited and ready to get updates on their children, I'm terrified!  

Baby girl is 14 months old today!  I wonder how many more months until I hold her??  

When I went running this afternoon, I saw several mothers with jogging strollers.  I was so excited that will be me in a few months, and so thankful my neighborhood is full of moms who run or walk with their little ones in the evening.  Then I realized I'm going to have to be in better shape to push baby girl while running, no matter how tiny she is.  Hoping for lots of days with sunshine and warmer weather!

As of yesterday, my I-600A application, fingerprints, and home study are all hanging out together!  Okay, I'm hoping they're actually being processed, not just hanging out.  I sent my application in before my home study was finished, something I wasn't terribly confident about doing since everything goes to Dallas first now.  But I knew waiting would add an extra month for approval, and with baby girl already waiting for me, it might make a difference in travel time. They fingerprinted me without my finished home study, and since everything is in the same place now, hopefully approval won't be too far behind!

"We will await assignment of your court date."

I was so excited to receive an email with those words today! Finally waiting for a court date! How long?? I don't know. I have a general idea from those who have recently received their court dates, but my agency's timeline is longer. I am just so excited to have all of the paperwork out of my hands!

I planned to send the rest of the paperwork in last Monday. I had everything out and ready to go to mail at lunch at the post office near school. But when I woke up, there was a little snow on the ground. And it doesn't snow here often, so school was cancelled. But I still needed to mail those papers, so I braved the weather and headed out. This is what it looked like when I left:

That's how long it has been since I was chosen to be the mom of a beautiful baby girl in Ethiopia! In the past two months I have completed my home study, completed my dossier, and been fingerprinted by USCIS. Now I wait. Wait for USCIS clearance, wait for a court date, wait to hear if I passed, wait for another court date if I don't pass, wait to travel.
She is so very beautiful! She won't be legally mine, though, until I pass court, and my agency requires I wait until after travel to post photos. So unless you live close enough for me to show you her picture, you'll just have to take my word for how beautiful she is!
Please pray for her, and for the rest of the process to go amazingly fast! She has some health concerns, and while I know the staff at her orphanage is taking excellent care of her, I would prefer being the one to take care of her!