beautifulreality

Wednesday, 27 November 2019

Signing the SPA

Today mark the day where i finally bought my own house.
The house hunting took a year.. and once iv laid my eyes on the one, there’s no turning back. Alhamdulillah the process went so smooth from getting the loans(even got negotiated) until to the spa signing today.. i felt so relieved, achieving and proud of myself.

Owh what makes me writing here again? Haha..
I dont know why, but iv found my old blogger(memoirs of dya) and read through it.. owh my, how my perspectives never changed till now. How im skeptical on marriage and men and believe women must be independent.. haha never changed.

Yes im married for a year now.. and yes what i thought bout it before turn out to be true. Marriage is indeed not that fun. Its just about having companion and breeds. Allah still feels that its still not the right time to have baby yet so i redha. But i just keep questioning, does it all worth it to sacrifice my life in a marriage until it happened?

Regardless. iv passed the ‘getting married’ phase at least. So there’s wedding pictures on the shelves.
And there’s a man living under one roof with me. Happy? Yet to be found.

At the age of 36, im married, own a car and a house..Alhamdulillah..

💗

Tuesday, 19 January 2016

2016..so far

Its another new year..

Surprisingly it didnt confused me that much every time i write down the date.. Its either iv been prepared for 2016 or theres nothing vavavoom bout 2016 anymore 😊

Maybe it got to do with the major breakdown in employment history in Malaysia (and myself). I mean this is 2016 not 1997. Shouldnt the development and technology could save us from feeling unsafe already?

Because..

1. We are such a small country (easyly manage)

2. We have our own resources and we are talking bout oil and gas here..

Shouldnt we by now have at least similar to Brunei?

Of course not! And the world knows why.

1. We are becoming Indonesia at last 10years. Bribery and corruption smoothen things up.

2. We value our Rm1 now just like how the Indians value the Ruppee

3. Criminal? Have u heard bout Mexico or Philiphinnes gangsters? Yes we are living with their kinds in Malaysia now.

See the similarities?

Developing countries.

And we are not developing because we went back to how these country was.

We are 'Not Developing Countries'.

Develop countries encouraged new idea and technology, support the small innovator, protect our idea.. But we are not.

We sell out out country to outsiders. We are still believe in outsiders.. Because of why? Our leaders cannot accept any new idea that could jeopardize their seat or side income.

The rakyat suffers year by year. We could not afford most of the basic things anymore. The gap between the poor and the rich? Have u watch Indonesia sinetron and Philiphinnes dramas?

I could feel that my hope for the country is goin down year by year. So how can i be sure of my dreams can be achieved?

Yes i have too much complaints because this is my level. I complaint as the citizen.

What do i think i would do if im in power and at the position?

I would bring all complainers like me to find solution asap and for once lets not think bout our own pocket already.

#pissedandhelplesscitizen

Sunday, 17 January 2016

Ambitious

I couldn't help but noticed that many 3series chicks will eventually feel that as if 30 is the end of the age and need to do that and this pronto!

I was and am like that too! Maybe now the adrenalin is not that rush anymore but yea the things to do still there..

I still remember my top list was about getting married and have baby. I was like maniac getting that to be done asap. Untill i got a break off engagement and how that has changed my perspective 360.

Iv realized that things has been set accordingly by Him and if its not meant to be then it is not. We really need to let things flow on its own. Messing our mind with all those checklist will only cause u stress and down.

And i know now that i still need to accomplish things that i wanted before i settled down and have kids on my own.

I need to have my own house and space by living alone. I always want to live alone. So everything will be just my way. My way of getting up, of cooking, of taking care the house, of my leisure time, of having friends come over..

And come to think of this, i dont think im ready to tolerate living with another man in one house and basically sacrifice my space and my single life.

And i still want to get my Master done in oversea, because i always want to study abroad. I dont think having kids is such a good idea for that purpose.

So, thats explained why theres certain goal were not been granted because Allah knows that im not ready for that yet.

In a way it helps me for not being too desperate in relationship. For not put up high hopes like usual. If it meant to be , it will be. If its not, its still ok.. Because He is preparing other more valuable things for me.

If the guy is the one, he will wait, he will understand, or he will surprisingly changed my mind to KIV my dreams first..

But until now, theres no such man that could changed my life goal yet.

Friday, 24 April 2015

Freelanc a.k.a Unemployed

its almost been 3 months im staying home working freelance..
and i fucking lovin it!!!

muahahaha...

im just afraid that i cannot accept any other way of living anymore..woah..scary kan..
because i still wanna live in my own house on my own.. and in doin that i need stabil income..means i still need to work..huhu

owh rasa macam nak buat my goals in 3 years time (its 3 years before im 35)

1. Buy my house!
2. Travel to Europe
3. Taking 1 year Master in London
4. Travel, travel, travel
5. Live happily

Owh..i de gak terfikir2 nak cari laki kaya buat laki for me dont have to work...
Hahaha..how things changed right? I always thought that i cant be the one who stay home even laki support..but now i think i can :D
Because life so stress free.. except bila xdak du laa..huhu

Tuesday, 3 March 2015

X file

Of course u cant help it to keep on stalking the new girlfriend of your exes right?
I know its not healthy.. But trust me il get through it soon enough..I hope..

I knew bout Zul new girlfriend virally when he virally uploaded their pics where Fara and Mas came about it and told me. I was being blocked by my exes (which I dont know whats the purpose)..I mean i would love to show off my life and hoping to make them ..err ..envy? haha i dont know..A girl actions is sometimes not to be questioned.

I seem to have no problem knowing Zul have moved on. I mean, iv come to my senses that maybe Im the one that always be in his way. Its time for him to move to a new girl. Because i love him. I will always be. Hey I still got our pic in my room and I never bothered to remove it. Its bout pure love that hard to explain. Heard bout 'If u love someone enough, U will let the person go'? Because if thats what makes him happy, Il be happy too. Except that of course, dont let the new girl bother me or try to create prob with me. Then Im good.

So that bastard have a new girl too! Wow..it didnt take him long enough to find a new girl to mess up with. Seriously, x rasa bersalah langsung ka? Duit aku pun x bayaq.. Okay I really disturbed with this one. I mean I feel like to approach the new girl and warn her. U dont even have the criteria to be a man let alone someone's boyfriend! Fuck him. yes fuck him!

And to see that the way they started just remind of how he did with me last time. I mean the FB activities and all. And iv noticed they started on his birthday and I bet it was through FB too. Typical no balls bastard.

Did my 'doa orang teraniaya' accepted and granted? I just wonder..
I dont see that he is miserable and yet got a new girlfriend some more.. How the hell he got to move on so easily..Owh yea, i almost forgot.. He didnt loss anything..because he didnt fucking pay anything.. LOSER

What should i do with this one yea?
Or should i do nothing and forgive..?
Owh thats hard..because i dont think i can ever forgive him in million years.
What I can do?
Wishing that he will be rotten not in the afterlife, but now!

Thursday, 26 February 2015

Clash of Clan

Haha.. never mistaken me for someone who are not a game person..I love games esp computer games. And now theres phone games. I had this installed in my iPhone when the game started to get famous, but then i stopped playing because it require lots of your time and commitment. I mean the upgrading required like 8hours-2days! Memang x jadi keja la..This is the kind of strategy game which i love. It involves war and defense, teamwork and intelligent.

So now with my flexible time..between handling my freelance task with Zainal and staying at home or sleepover at my girlfriends house..or just go out and drive..Im now able to play it 100%. And since I joined Nudin and Afif group : Malayneum..memang terus lekat laa..

So, im doing this freelance thing assisting Zainal in getting funds or grant to companies. Sort of things that i did in OSA. And Zainal will pay! So good enough.

Owh.. Im so glad im able to go out from the house and do work like I used to love to do before. How weird meeting people could make my day. Owh for a marketing person, it is a bout meeting people. However most of the time we are more like been fake and pretending to like the people..LOL..yea..thats the truth. Esp when I did sales, its like before entering the room, I will put up my sales mask and the acting started. Yea sometime u got annoyed and pissed dealing with fuckers who think they own the world just because the decision at their hands..and yet u still need to smile.

But the best thing about marketing job, to listen and gather other people experience and knowledge. Listening and observing their achievement, the way they communicate, and go to places like Petronas, Surgeon's room, Ministry of Defense (iv been to the minister room once) enough to make me feel superior.

And i love that part so much. I love to feel important. I love to enter every ministry in Putrajaya and sometime went to the highest floor. I love to sit in one table with big shots and dine.

Just like COC, with the right strategy, I could get access to this people and places, and once I managed to place myself in the war clan, I could win when my strategy works. ;)

Friday, 13 February 2015

14 feb 2015

After that reception thingy, theres another one, the honeymoon thingy plak..

So apart from i already paid for the wedding hall previously, i have also bought the honeymoon trip as well.. To Boracay, Philiphines.

And the day was yesterday prior to nak celebrate the love day as well lah. Konon lah..i bet if it happen, i would spend my days with the locals instead.

And after carefully thought, (it took me months to make this decision) iv decided to replace it with mama. So we can have our moment together and plus shes been expressing bout her staying home and bored. And its Valentine Day, so im sure shes the right candidate.

End up.. Mama being mama.. She invite fara and afif as well. Well thats expected lah dgn mama ni.

Regardless, at least i wont be thinking bout things that happened and affect my long awaited vacay ni. Except that the counter AirAsia girl asked bout that bastard presence. But no it didnt affect me at all. Seriously.. 😚

Im just gonna enjoy the white sand and the blue sea. Lay down and indulge in my book and fruit juice.

And take lotsa picthaaaa 😝