phaNtasmagoria: Nuances of Life

1stly, thanks to sis Nurin for tagging me & to mr Idham for this great charity-tag drive! Basically, due to time constraint (who doesn't face it, rite?hehe) i copied d intro below fr Nurin. ;)

"For everyone's information, this is a great tagging game, meant for charity. For every tag response before 26th August 2007 , Idham - the initiator - will donate RM127 to Darul Izzah Orphanage, Bandar Baru Bangi, Malaysia. Meaning, by doing this meme you'll be donating RM127 to the orphanage (with his money though :D). He's targeting at least 100 bloggers to get about RM1k for this chosen charity of his! And the rules are (copying and pasting from the original rules from Idham's blog) ..."

Okey, this is the rule;

If you are tagged, you need to write an entry related to the meme. At the end of your entry you just need to tag as many person as you like. You will then leave a comment in their blog to let them know they have been tagged. And to include this message, "By doing this meme you are contributing rm127 to the Darul Izzah Orphanage".

Then please copy and paste this rule somewhere in your entry.

The meme is about completing at least seventeen out of the following twenty seven sentences........ (ive done mine in black)

1. A person is only as good as doing what he says

2. Friendship is always there & forever

3. To love is to always think of what is good for others even though it hurts.

4. Money makes me worry

5. I miss my childhood

6. My way of saying I care is by giving & sharing the best that I have

7. I try to spread love and happiness by giving & sharing the best that I have! :)

8. Pick the flowers when the owner asks you too

9. To love someone is to make them happy even though you’re sad because you’ll feel happy when they are happy – give & take concept maa…

10. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder (I learned this truly)

11. When I was thirteen, what I remember the most was, yet again, having to adapt to a new place.

12. When I was twenty one, I remember embracing the joy & the struggle of varsity life, the compulsion-based outings & the midnight birthday surprise among beloved friends :)

13. I am most happy when I don’t have to do anything but reading a good novel.

14. Nothing makes me happier than drowning myself with best reading collections.

15. If I can change one thing, I will change the ‘System’ that I was exposed to. They breed dummies, if not enlightened!

16. If smiles were like chocolates, then I would kiss those who smile (Oops!)

17. Wouldn't it be nice if we could stay in university forever (lifelong learner konon!)

18. If you want to be loved then you have to give love.

19. Money is not everything but it gets everything going.

20. The most touching moments I have experienced is when my apology was accepted...in embrace :,)

21. I smile when i feel like smiling :)

22. When I am happy, I feel like jumping around (yippee!)

23. If only I don't have to ‘work’, then I’ll be willing & happy to be a dedicated student :P

24. The best thing I did yesterday was lending my phone to a friend (who left her phone at the office) so her husband could talk to her & ask abt. their baby :)

25. If I ever write a book, I will give it this title," Welcome to my life" (yea, a song’s title)

26. One thing I must do before I die is to repent, to ask 4 4giveness & to love ‘someone’.

27. Doing this meme, I feel like I’m reevaluating my life, which I haven’t been doing for quite some time..

And now I’m tagging;

1. Kay-rin

2. Tia Aria

3. Mr. Ujang

4. Mr. Amir

5. Mdm. Yasmin

6. Sis Ogy

Im feeling sad
…but happy & proud at the same time. Another stdnt came 2 inform dat she’l b leaving the college to pursue in TESL. She’d asked on her dilemma of to go /not to go. I asked her 2 do istikharah. She did. Im sure she can better contribute 2 making positive changes thru the field.
Im sad 2 lose her even tho’ we’ve just get 2 know each other for less than 2 months. Im putting on hopes 4 her 2 start d forever-waited CHANGE 2 d system. She admitted thru the interview dat she adamantly doesn’t agree wit the present system. It’s turning youngsters into boring -nerdy –bookworms. If dats not the case, then they’d rebel & turn worse. Aargh! I know, coz im 1 of em!?

2/7/07 0901

What is happening in my world?!;

1) ive yet 2 return stdnts’ essays that ive kept for close to 2 months now. How can I return em? I haven’t finished markin em…!
2) Ive 2 submit a research paper n present it under Kolej level on 25th july. How am I goin2 prepare 4 dat when I haven’t basically start documenting it…?!
3) I had planned 2 start doin everything dis weekend. Plus marking the stdnts’ quiz papers.
4) BUT…I have 2 fulfil a fren’s request of goin 2 her baby’s kenduri since I had missed her wedding lastime. N yea, I haven’t seen her baby even…
5) Oh, n dis means I haf2 postpone marking stdnts’ weekly drafts of their report writing also. as i'l b spending d weekend at my fren's place.

5/7/07 1245

240607-22:48

Kayu; whatever u do 2 it, it wont be affected (Really?). Unless u put fire to (read:kill) it laa..
It acts as if it has no feelings. It acts as tho’ whatever u say/do/signal to it; is juz a passing matter. It’ll break if u hacked it. But it wont avenge u. it wont have revenge against u. u throw it, it stays there. U chuck it into water, it floats. To know n understand this fact; maybe u have 2 meet one.
How kayu can a human be? For whatever reason it is there, it wants u 2 understand, 2 accept, the way it is presented…so u wont be hurt too much, realizing how kayu (& innocent & helpless) can dat human (im sorry) I mean, kayu be.
Maybe it needs a different shape. Can u sculpt it?

Kejam; can we attribute this 2 a Kayu? Well, if d kayu is as innocent as it’s described, let’s not blame it. This comes when u really deny/don’t want 2 truly understand a kayu. A kayu might use these words against u. but of course, u’d hurl it back 2 d kayu. Haha…

Quit d blame game –

Nevermind, This too shall pass...
I quote fr. Sis Gie “…kayu or kejam, kt je yg tau niat sebenar…we juz wanna do n be gUd…xperlu pening2 pk ati org lain..wat apa yg rs baik 4 all…”

Thanks sis…

250607- 23:44

p/s: El-fakhr will tie d knot on 1/12/2007, insyaAllah. Let’s pray for both of em :)

yet her msg went straight into my heart...

I cant help it but cried after reading dis,….

“Salam- if Allah made me to marry a prince, well I pray dat he prepare a king to be urs. Love u n miss u so much.-nurul UK“ 020607, 21:29

A: Great! Now u go on & did it again! Way ‘a go girl!

I: What? Wats wrong wit wat I done?!

A: Oh? Nothin’s wrong? Doin’ wat u always do when u know its wrong n uve been wrongin urself 4 long? Oh, let me restate that, u –

I: Shut up! No! u shudda know better than sayin wat ure sayin!

A: Oh I know wat im sayin alrite! Uve been hurting urself too often too long dat u don’t know how 2 reverse n make it rite! Rite?

I: Now u –

A: Juz let me finish! U deserve happiness dat God ever so willing 2 grant u girl but u gotta make it rite 4 urself…u cant juz push every1 away…!

Tears welling up in I’s eyes

A: u gotta give urself a break girl... U cant chained urself 2 those shoots 15 years ago!? Come on girl…

I: its been dat long…I juz cant…I juz donno how….*sobbing*

A: *sigh* why r u doin dis 2 urself?....

I: I donno…ive tried…really, ive tried…! I donno why I kept comin 2 dat…

A: r u sure uve tried hard enuff?

I: I .., I …ive tried many times…ive hurt so many…

A: Not 2 say u hurt urself d whole time too! Did u realize dat? Huh? Did u?

I: I know…I know I need help. I donno how... U can see dat cant u?

A: *sigh*…yes dear. I can see dat… Let’s pray to God 2gether… I hope people wil pray 4 u girl…I hope they can see d pain dat ure sufferin from n not push those things away like sum dusts under the carpet…. Now u B strong 4 urself okay?

I: I sure hope I can make it rite myself..i sure hope I have d strength…please pray 4 me…

we r now in serdang. i still remember d 1st time i came here. i followed my dad on d way back from skool & he picked me on his way fr ofis (i was 7 & i think we went there 2 collect d rent from a group of UPM students.) while he went inside 2 talk wit sum others in d house, i stayed outside. i wanted 2 go inside but i was bz answering questions (guess i was being interviewed; more like it) from a couple of d guys.

now d house looks xtremely difrent from dat memory. not being rented out anymore. there r changes here n there,tough moment...still, we wud haf2 wait a while longer before we cn finally say its our home sweet home...hmm..

my world seems 2 b unsettled at d mo'. i haf2 focus on a mission, 2gether wit my parents n several relatives. wat sorta mission its gonna be? i hope i cn strengthen my heart & faith. for b4 & after...& 4ever...ameen~

17032007;
Well, dats d date of my extended weekend excursion, to the Malacca Zoo. Only today dat
I got d inspiration (more so, the cutting down on procrastination) to write because I am yet again enthralled by another trip today. Where? Tell ya later! ;)

I was juz ‘busying’ (menyebuk je, sebenonye..) myself joining the stdnts’ trip 2 d zoo. They got this grp. project that d course require them to do evry yr. Ta made the offer & ive been thinking also… the last time I went 2 a zoo was when I was in standard 1; 19 yrs. ago?!? So, achin’ or not, tired or not, sleepy or not, 3 places in 2 days was going 2 b quite an achievement for myself nowadays…!

Imagine, there were only 4 lecturers to handle d stdnts on departing. It was 2nd installment of the Life Sc. stdnts, which required 11 buses to transport them to the destination!? Same number of buses during the 1st one. Quite a din & chaotic atmosphere it was. Good to know dat more lecturers would be joining at the zoo itself.

Im not sure how long was the walk in the zoo but we did walk all the way thru & I drank 3 bottles of water. My mouth was still dry by the end of the trip. Hmm, wat new animals that ive never seen before? Plenty but I must say most significant ones, is the smallest monkey in the world. Sorry, I 4got its name laa.. & then there were storks with weird flat beaks (I 4got d name also :p) . Kinda like hammerhead shark but dis, ‘hammerbeak’ stork… :) the wonder of God’s creations…

Watching: TMO Bridge to Terabithia
Eating: Fruit salad- apple cider & honey dressing
Typing: Excursion to LKW University & STAR printing plant

I had 2 replace a lecturer on d friday trip. D official letter was prepared & I told myself “I can’t believe im goin on d trip 2moro?!” I still said d same thing the next morning.

It was raining quite hard. I noticed mr. W’s car not in d porch anymore. It was 7.20 a.m.

7.35 a.m. Many stdnts have arrived. I was impressed at how cool mr. W was. I mean, he maintained his composure even tho’ other lecturers were late, the bus hadn’t even started (still in d garage) & we were supposed 2 depart at 8, the food & drinks hadn’t even been distributed. We did all of em later wit kak U arriving. Imagine, each stdnt received a packet of beriyani rice & a piece of watermelon, 4 choc buns & 4 bottles of mineral water… all 4 a day trip. D stdnts didn’t think of it far thru. They were so shocked 2 receive evrythin in d morning dat sum rejected d stuff. But they haf2 accept em all of course.

Well, d journey on d Kia van was ok. Stopped at Hentian Seremban 2 have our beriyani rice. Every1 can’t stand d wafting smell anymore. So we devoured our packets as d bus (stdnts’ ride) juz stopped 2 fill its tank. Dun worry, our van would speed up afterwards!

D trip itself, I’ll juz let d photos explain it all. Well, to justify some details maybe, if not all…hehe…

right after the prog. & d luncheon i went back 2 d unit wit a plastic bag full of the big & CUTE (dats wat they say) grp signages .. as i reach the stairs up level 3, i saw that person fr afar, walkin 2wards d main ofis, holding sumthin.. i stopped & contemplated whether 2 make my move there n then. well, if i hv 2 mk amend, theres no better time than there n then. my side excuse wud be to inform dat we hv ended d prog & d rostrum is put back in its previous place 4 pick-up convenience..!

so i went back down d stairs, with d plastic bag full of d big & CUTE (as they call them) grp signages & headed into d person's ofis. i gave salaam & entered. standing at d door, i let out d 'report'. i noticed a plate of unfinished bihun on d table & as quick as lightning, mentioned dat there's still more rice & other dishes in the banquet if she wants.

She smiled, said OK, patted my shoulder & said Thanks.
I smiled, nodded & went out. PheW!....

Dat was Smooth...! yep, better than expected & i am Relieved! my days R unhung!
see, it's always B E S T 2 make A M E N D than leaving it all happened juz lk dat. T A K E A C T I O N guys....!

it's passed my bday actually...had planned 2bring sumthin on it but was so bz 4 d previous 2days. had 2 help D & I at d kolej wit a research. been 2 kolej late 4 two nites.

so over d weekend i managed on dis. its been on my mind 4 long on trying it & while i was bored alone at home, i executed my plan, tryin 2b as simple as can be, adapting wit wat i have at present... mind you, no red bean paste/chicken curry/coconut filling...but, peanut butter & strawberry swirl instead!? haha~~

yea, u bet! i did jolted some minds wit dis idea. hey, practicality has always worked 4 me! & coincidentally, it worked 4 em too! i am, after all, an amateur indeed...

it was a nice surprise. they called me on my bday but said nothin of it & talked abt sumthin else. probably wondering why i hadnt said anythin abt it at all..hehe...well, i received it a day later. Kind Iza brought it 2 d unit & i msg em later on of course..
then there r online & mobile well wishers, wic, i cant thank em enuff 4 rememberin..
1 of my colleagues was asking, dont i have lk party & cakes wit family? :) well, i think it passed my time,-or soon.. as d last time i had such an occasion was in 2005 wit my kpli classmates. dats not too far away isnt it? dats why i think it'l pass my time soon :) ppl becomin busier laa
i like 2 just let it be :)