The Beeston Family

Billy just finished his ER rotation. Since he worked a lot of night shifts, I stayed up later, got more projects done, and housework took a backseat.

One night, he came home to see me working on this tutu.
"What is this?"
"A tutu."
"For Halloween?"
"No..."
"I don't like the black. Why don't you make an all-pink one?"
"Ok."

Then he came home to see me working on this tutu.
"I like it."

Then he saw me working on this tutu.
"You're making another one?"
"Honey, you know how I have a pair of flip-flops to match all my outfits?"
"Oh, great..."

Oh... men...! What's the big deal? She's probably going to be wearing a lot of pink AND purple, so why not make a pink tutu AND a purple one? Makes sense to me... If later I find out she has a lot of green onesies, I'll probably make her a green tutu, too! Ha! Take that!

I probably say this every month, but this is the best stage ever! Maybe every stage just gets better and better! It is so fun to play with them, watch them learn skills and invent games. I love every moment that I spend with these little guys.

Logan: weight 22lb11oz (12%), height 32 1/4 (50%), HC (28%)

This month, Logan started kicking balls in addition to throwing them. He also loves it when I blow bubbles. He chases them and says "bubble, bubble, bubble." We went to an event at the mall the other day and put him on the inflatable castle and... he hated it. He loves loves loves to climb! He can now point to his belly button while saying something that resembles "patapata." When I ask him whether or not he has pooped, he will usually answer me correctly. Logan also says the sounds of monkeys, cows, dogs, elephants, and lions, the last one being his personal favorite. He loves to run around the couch or table, and often encourages Taylor to run with him. At the end of a prayer, Logan says his own version of "Amen." He repeats a lot of other words, too. He can also count up to 3, but I think only Billy and I would know he is actually counting. He likes to sing along, but makes up his own version of the songs. Logan likes to pass between our legs when we are standing, which is fine when I am not wearing a dress and I am not talking to someone at church. At bathtime, he likes to throw toys outside the tub and splash, still. But he also likes to stand, which caused him to get a chipped tooth jsut a couple of nights ago. He occasionally still poops in the tub, but I'll take once a month over every night. Logan is very persistent and will climb on stuff until I get so sick of saying NO and picking him up that I'll put him in time-out. The main reason why he gets into fights with Taylor recently is because he is trying to steal something from him and Taylor is not letting go. Logan gets really mad when I take back the thing he took from Taylor. He occasionally bites Taylor, too. Logan is definitely in a "me-do" stage and loves to do stuff on his own. He actually gets mad sometimes if I try to help him. But he is so happy, most of the time, when he wakes up from a nap or in the morning. He squeels with Taylor, throws his stuffed animal into the other crib, and jumps in his. And finally, Logan has officially mastered his whine. He will whine and whine and whine constantly until I can figure out what he wants. We are trying to teach him the words to the things he wants, but so far it has not ben sucessful. He is a fun little guy and we love him to pieces.

Taylor: weight 20lb9oz (1%), height 31 1/4 (21%), HC 9%

This month, Taylor also started kicking balls in addition to throwing them. He loves it when I blow bubbles and waves him arms in the air to pop as many as he possible can. We went to an event at the mall the other day and put him on the inflatable castle and... he hated it, too. He LOVES to climb and he is really good at it! He can now point to his belly button and nose when asked, but still doesn't actually say the words. He does say the sounds of dogs, lions, and occasionally monkeys. He loves to run around the couch and table to catch Logan, but gets tired of the game much faster than Logan. Taylor gets a kick out of slapping, punching, kicking and stomping on Billy, especially if Billy is laying on the ground. He also climbs on Billy's tummy and stands there with a pretty good balance. He likes to carry things that, I think, are much to heavy for him and brings them to me. He also likes to bring me random things, like pens, rings, or crumbs that the broom or vacuum did not catch. He loves to share with his mama... not so much with Logan who steals stuff from him. Taylor also likes to pass between our legs when we are standing and finds it hilarious. And at bathtime, he likes to throw toys outside the tub and splash. But he also likes to stand, which fortunately hasn't caused him any bad accidents,... so far. He occasionally still poops in the tub, but it is rare. Taylor is very persistent and reckless, and will climb on stuff about a million times over. He has been biting Logan a lot recently, which always gets him in trouble, of course. He likes to crawl, which is interesting considering that he has now been walking for about 4 months. He also now claps and stomps along "If you're happy and you know it." He is so happy when he wakes up from a nap or in the morning. He squeels with Logan, throws his stuffed animal into the other crib, and jumps in his. He loves to cuddle next to me and sometimes kisses my tummy, although I don't actually think he understands there is a baby sister in there. He is a loving little guy and I could never get enough of his slobbery kisses.

At 18 months, our schedule is as follows:
8:00 wake up
8:10 eat breakfast, drink milk
8:30 play
9:00 get dressed
9:30 go on outing
11:30 eat lunch
12:00 play
1:00 nap
3:00 play
3:30 eat snack
4:00 play
6:00 eat dinner
6:30 take a bath
7:00 play
7:30 drink milk, brush teeth
8:15 bedtime routine
8:30 lights out

Do you ever just look at your child, and he looks to stinkin' cute that you just want to pick him up and kiss him like crazy? Logan was just sitting on the carpet, looking at a book, and it was one of those moments. So what did I do? I went ahead, picked him up, and kissed him like crazy! After a little while, he tried to get away, so I said, "Logan, don't you want to cuddle with mama?" And he said, "No." That boy is brutally honest.

Okay, this post is totally depressing (I blame it on my hormones), but I wanted to write this so that I could always keep these thoughts with me, since this blog has pretty much become my diary/journal these last 18 months.

The other day, as I was checking out my groceries at the store, I had an emotional meltdown. Yeah, totally embarrassing. But there was a reason, I promise. I was just kind of looking around the store when I saw a man who totally looked like this:

It totally freaked me out at first, then it brought back memories. This man was my "tonton." He, his wife, and their 2 kids, practically raised me for the first few years of my life. He sort of became a dad to me. Even after my mom quit her job to stay home with us, I continued to hang out with them because they were family to me.

When my family moved to the United States, I was devastated to leave them. Tonton was sick at the time, with diabetes and other things, and had had to have his toe amputated. After the move, his condition worsened, and over the following years, he had to get more and more of his foot and leg amputated. Still, I was naive about how bad his condition really was.

The day before our wedding reception in Maryland, in 2006, I got a text message from Tonton's daughter saying that he had passed away. It was a complete surprise and I was totally in shock. I immediately called her and found out that Tonton had undergone another surgery, and everything had gone well, but later he just died.

I felt sad and empty,.. then I felt regret. I knew regretting wouldn't change anything. It definitely wouldn't bring him back. But I thought back to those times when he would ask me to scratch his back, and I would say No or do it with the worst attitude ever. I wished I could go back in time and scratch his back until my fingers bled from it. I wished I could tell him one more time how much I loved him, how he changed my life, and how I wouldn't be the same person had I not had him in my life.

I have not been back in Begium since his death, but I am relieved to know that he is up there, watching me. That he was there at my wedding reception, at Logan and Taylor's birth, and in all those life-changing times that I would have wanted him there for. I love him so much and I am so grateful for the knowledge that I have to know I will see him again some day... some day...

For the majority of the time I was pregnant with Logan and Taylor, I was student teaching in Kindergarten then Fifth Grade. While teaching in Kindergarten, all I kept thinking was,"These kids are so mean to each other! That was really harsh and hurtful!" When I was in Kindergarten, kids were a lot nicer to one another. I mean, seriously. Some of these kids would be best friends one day and enemies the next, all because they disagreed on who would go first in a game during indoor recess - which we had a lot of because it was so cold during that time. They argued and fought over the most ridiculous things. But since the girls were a lot meaner that the boys, I pushed the worries to the back of my mind.
While teaching in Fifth Grade, all I kept thinking was,"These kids just broke up? Like, they were dating before?" When I was in Fifth Grade, the girls had crushes on the boys and would be scared to do anything about them. And the boys would not even look at the girls because they were too into other things, like sports. But now these kids have to be educated about things that are really serious, like sex, suicide, and drugs, because those are the things that are on their minds. But since our boys wouldn't date until they were 16, I pushed the worries to the back of my mind.
But now all those worries are coming back... strong! I turn the tv on and I see teenage girls having their own show because they are raising a child at 16. I see teenagers committing suicide because others made fun of them. I see teenagers being shot at school because someone brought a gun and went coo-coo. I see movie previews in which friends have sex with each other with no strings attached. I see movies in which people do drugs at a party and it is completely normal. Although all those things were already happening during my first pregnancy, they have definitely gotten worse over the past year, and it is scarying me to death.
I have faced many temptations, challenges, and trials, and some were really tough to overcome; but I think today the teenagers are faced with even bigger temptations, challenges, and trials. The things I went through when I was 15-20 are now happening to kids who are 10-15. It is scary for me to think that Billy and I are going to have to teach our kids about sex, suicide, and drugs long before they even know of these things, just to prepare them and make sure they make the right decisions. It is a scary world out there, but I know that we have all the knowledge we need to make the right decisions. With the Lord's help, we can overcome anything the world throws our way.

Today I had to get another ultrasound to check the baby's spine (that we couldn't measure last time because she was rolled into a ball). This time, she was definitely showing it off and it was really easy to see. The ultrasound tech checked everything else, too, because why not?! So she's still a girl... she likes to cover her face with her hands and arms... she must have been really tired because she yawned a ton... and she weighs 1lb 1oz... oh, and she is breech, but that could still change. I am so happy to know that she is healthy as can be, and I hope she continues to be.

Exactly 1 month from today, Billy will be turning 30! Kind of a big deal, I think! I wanted to do something special for him. At one point, we thought we could celebrate his birthday/graduation by going on a vacation with some friends at the end of May. But then we found out I was pregnant and due at the only time we could do this. We were kind of bummed to know that we probably wouldn't be able to go on a trip again for a few years. But we were also psyched to know that we would expend our family. So we gave up the idea of going anywhere... until a lightbulb came on inside my head. Billy's birthday is in February, so why not go on a trip for a long weekend? We could possibly even go somewhere warm. When Billy told me about a UFC fight he really wanted to see, I knew this would be our one and only opportunity. We could go to Vegas, make it our yearly family vacation, and he would get to watch a live fight. But I was not 100% sure we could make it happen, so I told him about the idea. Without any hesitation, he said "Let's do it!" So Vegas, here we come!

Yesterday, I went through the list of things parents are supposed to get before the arrival of their baby, and I was pleasantly surprised to see that there is actually not that much we have to buy since we can re-use a lot of things we already have. But we still need:

• a crib
• a mattress
• bedding set
• receiving blankets
• mobile
• window valance
• wall decorations
• night light
• wash cloths
• hooded bath towels
• pacifiers
• bottles
• memory book
• onesies and other clothes
• socks and hats
• newborn diapers

I think that might be all we'll need, and we probably won't even worry about the big stuff (like the crib, mattress, and bedding) until we move to our new house, wherever that may be, so it's mostly little cheap things.

Some people might call me an "overachiever", "perfectionist", "organizer"... but I just call it "getting the job done!"
I have been making hairbows and hairflowers for a little while now, then giving them away at baby showers. Now I can actually use them.

I know, I know, it's mid-January, and I am posting about New Year's resolutions?!?! Yeah... that would be because I don't actually make resolutions at the beginning of the year. But... I did make a new list of goals I would like to accomplish, perhaps not all this year, but sometime in the future. I have to say, though, that my main goals have been accomplished:
- graduate from college
- marry in the temple
- raise children in the covenant

My new list of goals is perhaps not so... deep and meaningful:
- visit all the temples in the US
- serve a mission with Billy
- help in the recovery from a natural disaster
- participate in an organization for orphans or homeless people
- get flat abs - although there's no point in attempting that until we are done having kids
- get super toned legs - with the muscles showing clearly
- learn to speak Chinese
- learn to play the violin
- get really good at something crafty
- vacation somewhere cool every year
- tour Europe
- go sky diving or bungee jumping - I always wanted to do that in my wedding dress but I'll let that go
- punch someone in the face - just to see how much damage I could do, weird, I know

Yesterday, I had my 20 week appointment and ultrasound. Everything went perfectly well, even though the little stinker took forever to uncross her legs so that we could take a peek and determine that she was, in fact, a girl! She was also all curled up, so I have to go back in 2 weeks and get another ultrasound so that the tech can take a better look at her spine. That's totally fine by me... it just means I get to look once again at this cute little bundle of joy that will be joining our family in just another 20 weeks.

I think Billy and I did a pretty good job at keeping this pregnancy a secret (except in OH and IA), until we were able to announce the news to Billy's family on Christmas day.

Here's a recap of my 12th week of pregnancy.

How I'm feeling: always tired and occasionally nauseous

What I'm craving: tomatoes with fresh mozzarella cheese, carrots with fry sauce, oranges, and sour cream

The baby is the size of a plum. After weeks in the critical development stage, almost all of baby's systems are fully formed.

Here's a recap of my 14th week of pregnancy.

How I'm feeling: tired during the day and sleepless at night, horrible backaches, very emotional

What I'm craving: tomatoes with fresh mozzarella cheese, oranges, chocolate, movie popcorn, and deli meat

The baby is the size of a lemon. Baby is making urine and breathing amnotic fluid as the liver, kidney, and spleen are continuing to develop. Thin hair is growing all over the body for warmth.

Here's a recap of my 16th week of pregnancy.

How I'm feeling: emotional, and I felt the baby move (yay)

What I'm craving: tomatoes (still), movie popcorn (still), soup

The baby is the size of an avocado, eyebrows, lashes and hair are filling in, and taste buds are forming.

Here's a recap of my 18th week of pregnancy.

How I'm feeling: backaches, emotional

What I'm craving: apples, chocolate, red meat

Baby is the size of a sweet potato. "It" has become very mobile, yawning, rolling, twisting, punching, kicking, sucking, swallowing, and hiccuping.

Here's a recap of my 20th week of pregnancy.

How I'm feeling: backaches, headaches, uncomfortable, full of energy

What I'm craving: spaghetti, chocolate, pistachios, clementines, cucumbers

Baby's digestive system is busy creating meconium, which will fill the first diaper after birth. And, speaking of the diaper situation... baby's genitals are now fully formed!

I always "hate" that first part of pregnancy, when you have all the symptoms of being pregnant, but you keep doing everything you normally do, because you don't know you're pregnant, you're in denial, or you think you're just catching a virus or something weird.
I was in Maryland when I found out I was pregnant. I guess I was in denial after taking the 1st pregnancy test, so I took 3 more. There is no more denying when you get the same result 4 times in a row. So how did Billy find out? The modern-day way, of course, using Skype.

My symptoms were:

• tiredness, all day
• sleeplessness, all night
• nausea, especially in the mornings and early evening
• gagging, especially when changing Logan's diapers

My Oops were:

• I ate sushi
• I ate deli meat
• I ate soft cheeses
• I ate raw eggs (chocolate mousse)