The friend that conceived accidentally, sadly, miscarried at about 6 weeks. She is 37, has both a 19 and a 15 year old already, and her husband is 42- But they really got in the mood for a baby and were devastated by the loss.
It's always sad.
But, true to old's wives tales, or rules of coincedence, or whatever it is- another pregnant girl has shown up in my group of acquaintances. There is always at least three that know each other. that makes 2. So here we go again, waiting to see who it will be that will pop up (out) soon.
I also know of 3 more that are beginning to try.
They swarm around me and leave me hanging. And waiting for my two.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
We're back from CA, and we hada very relaxing time. My cousin's baby is the most beautiful 7 week old baby I've ever seen, and I had plenty of baby holding time over the past 4 days.
Her four year old is a such a ham, and we had so much fun with her!
In ovulation news- We missed BDing on the BIG O day because of traveling. Its hard to plan a vacation around an unpredictable cycle- I O'd the day we got there and I thought I was going to the day before. I hope there was still some little diligent DNA carriers up there from the extensive "baby dancing" we did for the five days leading up to ovulation. Of course, I feel like crap that I missed such a vital day, but whatever. having sex that day hasn't gotten me anywhere so far.
We had the most excellent meal last night at a restaurant called, "C Level". The mudpie that we all shared for dessert was amAAAzing. (and the size of half a pie!)
Well, on a final note, I leave you with a video that made me cry. I've been wondering why there are no songs that capture the heartache of trying to conceive. Maybe because its such a shameful, personal pain for so many women. But this women was brave enough...get your tissues.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqfGqOx2iDQ
Her four year old is a such a ham, and we had so much fun with her!
In ovulation news- We missed BDing on the BIG O day because of traveling. Its hard to plan a vacation around an unpredictable cycle- I O'd the day we got there and I thought I was going to the day before. I hope there was still some little diligent DNA carriers up there from the extensive "baby dancing" we did for the five days leading up to ovulation. Of course, I feel like crap that I missed such a vital day, but whatever. having sex that day hasn't gotten me anywhere so far.
We had the most excellent meal last night at a restaurant called, "C Level". The mudpie that we all shared for dessert was amAAAzing. (and the size of half a pie!)
Well, on a final note, I leave you with a video that made me cry. I've been wondering why there are no songs that capture the heartache of trying to conceive. Maybe because its such a shameful, personal pain for so many women. But this women was brave enough...get your tissues.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqfGqOx2iDQ
Saturday, June 09, 2007
I'm Back!
Its funny how the end of a cycle is always the end of the world to me, but after a few days I'm back to my hopeful self and ready to rumble again. Each month has new hope, new opportunity and beginnings. and I am sure again that THIS IS GOING TO BE IT!
We got an envelope full of letters today from my husband's seven year old firecracker of a sister- She's in England with her Mother, and we haven't seen her in almost a year. I laughed out loud when I read, "I have a BIG crush on a boy with red har and freckles! I'm still skinny! I've been doing lovely!" and then on another letter, " I have been missing you and wondering if you had a baby. that would be great!" aww. And she doesn't even know we were trying, how sweet is that? But also sad, since we could have already HAD a baby in the time she's been gone.
I love that kid. I've missed her terribly. I hope she comes back soon.
Weekends have been so busy lately- there is always at least three social things we've agreed to. This is probably good for me, since I tend to isolate myself when I'm feeling sad, but people and laughing and chatting makes me feel normal again. And once I start pretending, it becomes real and I really am happy. This weekend- a BBQ today, helping some friends paint, dinner with my cousin and her husband tomarrow evening.
Yesterday Me and K went for a couples massage. It was great. I wish I could pay someone to come over every week to rub me down. K wasn't as thrilled, since the female masoose we had scheduled had gone home early and left him with a (gasp!) Man. With hairy arms. He's so easy going and non-confrontational, he wasn't going to say anything. But he didn't enjoy it as much. we got ten bucks off our bill, so that was cool. I sure as heck wasn't switching MY girl for his dude. Some guy rubbing my butt while I lay there topless isn't my idea of relaxing.
Well. I should ovulate within the next 10 days. We're going to San Diego in the next twelve- I really hope I'm not ovulating on my trip- We're staying with my cousins and everyone can hear what everyone is doing all the time. NOT cool when you feel the babymakin pressure!
We got an envelope full of letters today from my husband's seven year old firecracker of a sister- She's in England with her Mother, and we haven't seen her in almost a year. I laughed out loud when I read, "I have a BIG crush on a boy with red har and freckles! I'm still skinny! I've been doing lovely!" and then on another letter, " I have been missing you and wondering if you had a baby. that would be great!" aww. And she doesn't even know we were trying, how sweet is that? But also sad, since we could have already HAD a baby in the time she's been gone.
I love that kid. I've missed her terribly. I hope she comes back soon.
Weekends have been so busy lately- there is always at least three social things we've agreed to. This is probably good for me, since I tend to isolate myself when I'm feeling sad, but people and laughing and chatting makes me feel normal again. And once I start pretending, it becomes real and I really am happy. This weekend- a BBQ today, helping some friends paint, dinner with my cousin and her husband tomarrow evening.
Yesterday Me and K went for a couples massage. It was great. I wish I could pay someone to come over every week to rub me down. K wasn't as thrilled, since the female masoose we had scheduled had gone home early and left him with a (gasp!) Man. With hairy arms. He's so easy going and non-confrontational, he wasn't going to say anything. But he didn't enjoy it as much. we got ten bucks off our bill, so that was cool. I sure as heck wasn't switching MY girl for his dude. Some guy rubbing my butt while I lay there topless isn't my idea of relaxing.
Well. I should ovulate within the next 10 days. We're going to San Diego in the next twelve- I really hope I'm not ovulating on my trip- We're staying with my cousins and everyone can hear what everyone is doing all the time. NOT cool when you feel the babymakin pressure!
Saturday, June 02, 2007
Cycle Day One
And boy did it suck.
My period came yesterday afternoon after a very emotional morning. It came with a vengance. Since I have had wacky cycles from january-march, I haven't had a horrible, cramping, zombie tired hormone crashing period since December. yuck.
I had several weepfests yesterday, and since my car was getting its breaks fixed, I was home bound all alone. what a pityparty.
When K got home, he comforted me by saying this is cycle one! before,whatever was messing your cycles up was in the way. This is our first cycle! It will be soon now!
sigh.
I don't know why the time we've been trying concerns me so. Its like I can pretend everythings fine, as long as we conceive in less than a year. Then we're (*I'm) not broken. It seems like the longer it takes, the farther it becomes. I see no end, and I feel like we're joining the Infertile Club with no refunds on membership.
Am I doing something wrong? WHY AREN'T WE GETTING PREGNANT IF I'M EFFING OVULATING? Is our "intercourse timing" all off? Should we be having sex after I ovulate, like my doctor says?
:(
Using husbands laptop, he desperately needs it. So thats the end of my pityparty.
My period came yesterday afternoon after a very emotional morning. It came with a vengance. Since I have had wacky cycles from january-march, I haven't had a horrible, cramping, zombie tired hormone crashing period since December. yuck.
I had several weepfests yesterday, and since my car was getting its breaks fixed, I was home bound all alone. what a pityparty.
When K got home, he comforted me by saying this is cycle one! before,whatever was messing your cycles up was in the way. This is our first cycle! It will be soon now!
sigh.
I don't know why the time we've been trying concerns me so. Its like I can pretend everythings fine, as long as we conceive in less than a year. Then we're (*I'm) not broken. It seems like the longer it takes, the farther it becomes. I see no end, and I feel like we're joining the Infertile Club with no refunds on membership.
Am I doing something wrong? WHY AREN'T WE GETTING PREGNANT IF I'M EFFING OVULATING? Is our "intercourse timing" all off? Should we be having sex after I ovulate, like my doctor says?
:(
Using husbands laptop, he desperately needs it. So thats the end of my pityparty.
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