Thursday, September 29, 2005
.blogging from school.
1st time blogging in school. network is damn fast.
Wondering why I am still in school at this time?! It's a norm in SMU. Sad right?
Just finished LTB rehearsal today. Super sian and pissed off. Guess I am not as easy-going as what most people think. I am fussy, have a super low EQ. or high? ( whatever. i get pissed off blardy easily ) and I simply hate it when people don't understand ME. Always think I am happy-go-lucky and not serious? ARGH. Fuck these people.
People love laughing at me. Today, I had a comms presentation and all my classmates started giggling when it came to my turn. Of course, I started laughing too since I usually cannot control my laughter. YES. i screwed up. Thanks god its not graded.
WHY WHY WHY. Am i really that funny? I just don't understand. Am I really THAT crappy? PLEASE. Crap doesn't mean NOT SERIOUS right.
I hate the attitude of some people. Yea, not as if I am a very good group member myself. I am usually late, and I always have other commitments that clashes with my other group meetings. I know. Ha. I am trying to change that.
However, I guess it's like that. Parts and parcels of life.
And TODAY, my dear S*U buddy secretly got my blog address from my computer. So if you are reading my blog now, kick your ass and give yourself a fart. lol.
I am still a little frustrated and I can only turn to this. Sad right. LOL. But still....... I love school :)
Stress stress stress. It will be over real soon. I hope.
floated away at
10:29 PM
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
.suxs.
sometimes, you can experience a million happy things , but just 1 single bad stuff can ruin your entire day. It happily overpowered the happiness you had just minutes ago and makes you feel like shit.
i just can't help getting affected by some slightest comment made by some people. Do what you like and don't bother what people think? Be yourself? Yea. true. but then, who can achieve that optimum stage? Not me. Not matter how hard I tell myself to be.
frustrated. fed up. gross out.
floated away at
1:14 AM
Friday, September 23, 2005
.why why why?.
i am so addicted to studying.
i feel so lonely today. went for frisbee and ended up with NO friends. All my friends played me out! But nevertheless, I need a good workout.
Tuition kids are killing me. Just when I thought I can have an easier time coping with 3 instead of 4 kids, the mother asked whether I can resume teaching him because the new tutor SUXS. Erm. honoured..? a bit. but I am in a dilemma. I have NO time. and TOO MANY commitments.
Nowadays, my FRIDAY and SATURDAY nights are usually free. WHY? Because all of my friends from other school have their own friends and NO LONGER want me :( Sounds gay? HAHA. whatever. Only 4-5 people read my blog anyway. SO. pls date me out la.
I am so so lonely here. Don't always ASSUME i am BUSY!
Project works are killing me anyway. Imagine. I have a meeting THIS SUNDAY. argh. City campus. Good life. My foot.
floated away at
7:11 PM
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
.blardy busy uni.
life gets so busy that i can't even find time to blog. i have plenty of commitments -schoolwork, lectures, projects, tuitions, ccas meetings blablaa for me to juggle.
It isn't helping when i feel so left behind by all my intelligent peers around me. My life right now evolves around my school - the library, the kopitiam, and the classrooms. I don't have time for gym, no time for swimming, and I am so gone fuck.
Plenty of assignments left undone, and ... rushing from one place to another to give tuition. argh.
However, I like it this way. Keeping myself so busy makes life seem more fulfilling.
Last Saturday, I went sailing and I really enjoyed myself. And I am currently in the Accountancy Society which I will be in charge of planning events. Sounds fun? ( Don't think Accountancy Society is boring... Its full of fun people and CHIOBUS! ) Ha. And 2 week ago, I went Scuba Diving with my schoolmates at Tioman. Will publish all these pics soon!
I need to meet up my dear friends outside school. I miss them.
Birthday party on the 15th oct. Don't forget k.
floated away at
10:31 AM
Thursday, September 15, 2005
.21st birthday bash.
21st birthday party.
I guess most of you have heard already.
15th october. my house. about 6pm? . no theme. buffet + bbq.
I think you are invited if you are my regular blog reader :)
ha. DO COME K.
And now, I am troubled over which cake to get, and I need to find people to decorate the function room for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Who can help meeeeeee??????
floated away at
10:15 PM
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
.what's wrong with me?.
have you ever encountered a situation when you wannna take away food from a hawker centre and have no idea which stall to choose? And not knowing what to choose, a long queue from a particular stall got your attention and you soon found yourself joining the queue?
I am sure everybody experiences this before. I AM SURE. Of course... provided you are not rush for time :P
About an hour ago, I was at my neighbourhood area and decided to take away food home.. and then I saw a chicken rice stall with ENDLESS queue. Naturally, I got curious and wondered WHY THE HELL IS THERE A LONG QUEUE? So... i joined in the queue!
10 minutes later, I found myself only halfway through the queue... and I found myself damn dumb. 10 minutes for a chicken rice which might not be as tasty as what i thought. argh. I am dumb... but I would have felt dumber if i had left the queue for something else... SO... I persist on.
And after a long 20minutes wait ALONE, I finally ordered :"UNCLE, CHICKEN RICE 1 PACKET." Again, I felt dumb. Other people in front of me were ordering average of 5 packets and I only ordered ONE?! I really felt I lost out a lot... then.... this question popped out :" Xiao Di.. You want $2 or $3? $3 got more meat. " HAHAHA.. and guess what? I said.. "$3 lor" ... when I knew $2 is definitely SUFFICIENT. Again, I felt dumb. I wanted to change the order, but I felt dumb. So I kept quiet.
Once i got my chicken rice, I was kinda satisfied + feeling very dumb... and I walked to my car and drove home. Oh.. when i left the stall, the queue was super ultra long still.
Home sweet home. I opened up my packet of rice and indeed, I saw more meat but pathetic amount of rice and chilli sauce. I felt so dumb ONCE AGAIN. I ended up finishing all the rice and what was left was lots of chicken meat. argh.
Get what i mean? I am dumb. In the first place, I should have sticked with the $2 chicken rice, since I believe the catch of the queue was because the stall is cheap?! ( I presume since I believe my mum can definitely match the standard after eating it. ) BUT... Kiasuism got into me and at that very instance I thought I should buy the bigger one so i won't lose out so much. Erm. dumb? Yes. Dumb Dumb Dumb.
A Dumb day indeed.
SO the morale of the story is...
DON'T QUEUE FOR FOOD. ALWAYS GET THE ONE WITH NO BUSINESS UNLESS YOU REALLY KNOW THE STALL IS GOOD. WASTE TIME. WASTE PARKING FEES. AND.. FEELING SO DAMN RETARDED.
Before I end this entry, I wanna wish my 2 gay buddies, ZC and COLIN, 21st HAPPY BIRTHDAY... WOHOOO WHOOOHOOOOOOOO..
Enjoy :) Colin, enjoy your date with Cheryl. Chong, enjoy your date with Sharon.
Cheryl and Sharon. Rhyhmes right? What close taste both of you have. :)
floated away at
1:59 PM
Monday, September 05, 2005
.scuba.
so busy with work these days.
Financial Accounting. Debit & Credit. Probability. Shit Questions. Comms. TONS of projects. Meeting deadlines.
Shrucks. School is damn stressful.
Going Scuba-diving this weekend. At least it seems like a retreat from the stressful school life I am currently experiencing. Phew.
So.. don't expect to contact me this weekend :P
Time for work once again. *signz*
floated away at
11:43 PM
Saturday, September 03, 2005
.s*u bash.
i have never had such a relaxing week for a long time. No tuition classes and time spent only on school, play, and gatherings. No worries. Phew.
I went for my school's bash today. My very first OWN bash. It was fun knowing people everywhere and jumping from one crowd to another. And I swear I have never danced with so many different girls in my entire life BEFORE. ha. And I actually got carried up to the bar top to dance!! Gay dance, Sexy dance, Normal dance. I did all. Guess my reputation is again gone for this school.
To think I thought I can have a fresh start. My foot.
But anyway, I wasn't feeling really comfortable before the bash. WHY? Because there isn't a certain group of friends who CALLED me to join them. I think its REALLY pathetic. I felt so lonely....!!!
Why will this problem arise?
1) My OG groups thought I will be joining my other friends.
2) My other groups of friends thought I will be joining my OG
3) My other groups of friends thought I will be joining other groups.
4) None of the groups feels my presence is important.
ARGH. I am damn sad!!!
But of course, despite how reluctant I was to go to the bash because I felt like the loser of the year, I still dragged myself out of the house and ta-dah! Chinablack!
When I was there, I finally received some SMSes. *phew* And the QUEUE was unimaginably LONG. All the way to an ulu back alley!!!! WTF. we bought the tixs beforehand and they wanted us to queue?! damn. but fortunately i met some friends near the entrance and cut the queue sneakily. :) Yes I felt better.
And guess I met friends, more friends and MORE friends! But so what? I don't have a close clique. haaaa.. LOSER LOSER LOSER!
So.. tell me. What is the point when u know so blardy many people? You just turn out to be less sincere to others, and nobody will INCLUDE you in their groups.. because they think you are forever with somebody!
So I ended up with NOBODY.
How sad is that, but TRUE.
At the end of the bash, I did ended up with a group! :) And they asked:" Hey are you sure you want to join us? I mean you are going to leave your other friends behind? We are so honoured!!"
...............
The fact was.. I have NO close friends to stick with. *y#(#*$)&#. Why do people always see me as popular? I am super pathetic ... really.
Nevertheless, its pointless feeling unhappy. But I do feel helpless. Am i detestable? Am i somebody whom people do not like mixing with? Or is it just because I am TOO sociable so I always appear so BUSY with other people?
Whatever the reason, I have to accept whatever comes to me. Comments like why i am always with DIFFERENT girls, why i am always so busy, how popular I am with girls... argh. PEOPLE JUST DON'T NOTICE ME WITH GUYS. I mean you will notice a guy when he is usually with a group of girls rather than a group of guys right?????????. ISNT IT NORMAL?
I did have fun in the bash... just that feelings like these keep coming back to me....
ANYWAY, i am happy because many people ask why I wasn't in pageant.
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA. What a compliment isnt it. PEOPLE WHO THINK I AM BHB SHUT UP. HAHA.
Oh.. the girls are pretty hot. definitely better than NUS biz ad. :P
floated away at
4:41 AM
Thursday, September 01, 2005
.i wonder.
2 weeks of school has passed. Yes time flies, and I am enjoying every moment I have so far.
Sometimes, I wonder how I will be like now if I chose to go NUS instead. Seeing familiar faces, the usual lecture-tutorial style, the free parking, i really really wonder how it is like. Will i be as happy? Will i be as satisfied as I am now? Do i regret not choosing NUS? Do i still feel lonely ? Have I changed? Do i really like the school? Maybe NUS is more fun? Maybe I adapt more to NUS? Maybe I will be a different person in NUS? I don't know.
I still remember vividly how tough it was making my choice of school. Should I choose familiar NUS or uprising S*U? Most of my friends are in NUS, while NONE of my close friends are going S*U.. Will I feel lonely? Outcast? Of course, after a really really tough decision, I made my final choice.
And I am happy to say I have yet regretted my choice. Adapting to a completely new environment isn't easy. Knowing everybody by SCRATCH isn't easy. I had my lonely days. I had days when I wanted to talk to people but realised it wasn't the same environment I was when I was in JC. But I have somehow overcome these worries. Knowing more friends, adapting to new school culture and interacting with different kind of people... I did it all.
Not to forget having occassional new crushes, failures and all the tough competition.... make my school days a lot more interesting.
I hope to have more interesting days to come by. To those who ain't enjoying school, cheer up :) You are what you MAKE the school. Remember. :P
To all my old buddies, I miss all of ya.. ALOT.
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ. All the names. I wont miss out any by listing every alphabets. HAHA
floated away at
10:39 PM