Sunday, May 27, 2007
.terribly sick.
spent the whole day sleeping today. had a damn bad migraine and was unable to get out of bed at all. No appetitie and i felt damn weak. the worst day ever in a long long time. Fortunately, I had my mum who took care of me and now I feel much normal now.
Long time since I last updated my blog but internship had been rather enriching. All the corporate finance related stuff and learning stuff like M&A, company analysis ... quite interesting.
I can't think now.
See you guys soon!
Thank you for yesterday's surprise anyway. LOVE IT!
floated away at
9:10 PM
Friday, May 11, 2007
.family.
you know, throughout this whole tiring and emotional process of seeing my aunt breathe through her last, I realise how important your family actually matters to you. The support everybody lent to one another during this time, the hugs, the encouragements, and whatever all of us went through together, it was great to see all stay by one another at times like this. Sometimes, all the paper chase and all might lead you to the dark side, but I guess, there will always be sudden events that would struck you and bring you back to track - and you get to realise its eventually your loved ones that matters most to you.
But sometimes, it might be too late to better the situation.
It got me reflecting how I took my family for granted in the past. Feeling stressful during exam periods? I vented my frustrations on them. My mum called me to ask whether I wanted dinner at home everyday? I found her irritating. My dad fetched me from school? I wasn't exactly appreciative.
I started to count the number of times I actually called home just to ask about my parents whereabout, how they are doing etc, and I realised I usually call them for some reasons or so. Yet, I would lose count the number of times they called to show concern and asked how I was doing in school, at work etc.
Don't you think I ought to feel guilty?
Fortunately, everything is not too late now.
Ah Mi, thanks for letting me realise all these.
I know, it's human nature to only get emotional when something unfortunate actually happens, and soon forget all about the thoughts and start the whole bo chup cycle again. No comments for that, but at least I know I will try.
Bless you Mi. I truly miss you.
2004, my mum's birthday.
floated away at
12:47 AM
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
.bloomberg.
quite deprived at work because blogger is blocked from my company network.
still rather depressed over my aunt. however, for those who have been showing concern, thank you very much!
i love all of you!
floated away at
1:21 PM
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
.goodbye, ah mi.
I am not in the best state to blog right now, but still, it's a day to remember.
My first aunt, who is very close to me, had passed away after a battle of serious illness due to complications after a heart operation.
From last week, I have been trying to spend as much time with her at NUH, by talking to her and accompanying her whenever I could. She was always friendly, caring and placed others before herself. She loved talking to people and I would not forget the Friday night when I went over to her ICU and accompanied her because she couldn't sleep. She shared with me her life story and how much she truly appreciated us for being there with her throughout this tough time. I spent almost 45 minutes with her that night. I wanted more, but she insisted on me going back because she wanted me to rest. Before I left, she would always remind me, like a caring mother, to wash my hands with soap in case I got infected. Despite complaining how much pain she felt all over her body, her optimisim towards her health condition led to me being hopeful, and I thought she would be able to leave the hospital eventually. I told her to stay strong and hopeful, and that I would like to visit her at her home the next time round. She nodded with faith, but... this never came true.
She had another heart failure on Sunday morning. Her heart stopped for 50 minutes but yet, the doctors managed to revive her back once again. ( She had 2 heart failures after the operation, but the doctors revived her back and she could talk as per normal. ) However, this time wasn't the same. Her condition was bad and with numerous tubes all over her body, she couldn't talk and her consition was extremely weak. I could remember seeing her frustration when she tried to speak but yet was unable to express out her thoughts. She really wanted to say something, but sadly, she couldn't.
So, I last spoke to her on that Friday night. That was the final moment I had with her.
She passed away peacefully today at about 4+pm. Her son rushed back from US this morning, and could only see her mother breathing through artificial means. They did not get to talk. That was my aunt's last wish - to see and talk to her son. She did not fulfill that wish. Her body failed her.
Nonetheless, I hope she would be happy now. In a way, relieving her from all the pain from her illness would be better for her.
I do miss her.
Truly do.
Rest in peace, my beloved aunt.
I love you.
.
floated away at
6:38 PM
Friday, May 04, 2007
.tired.
When you are working, your weekends are so damn precious. It feels like army, but worse. Thanks to Labour Day, this week flew past really quickly. A week of bloomberg lessons, facebook, asia one, CNN and excel really tires me out. I do love my job so far though. I never knew I do love finance. If only I developed the interest back then, I wouldn't have screwed up all my finance module.
Love can be cultivated. So true. I guess it works the same way in relationships too. To think I actually opt to major in Law. gosh. ( Yes, I would most probably change given my C Law grade! )
This week seems exciting. hmm.
Some of my fav pics from gala 07. Lazy to upload all :P
Look at that cock JJ.
floated away at
7:43 PM
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
.lost.
many must have wondered where the hell i went. haven't been blogging since exams ended. honestly, you can't blame me because I only had a week of holidays before I embarked on my internship at Deloitte & Touche.
My grades this sem has been a great disappointment Goodness shit. Guess I couldn't really blame anybody for my plight but myself. ( I got really distracted, and I spent lots of time swimming! haha ) No point lamenting now, but my next school term will definitely be more focused and diligent than this term. Nevertheless, I still think I deserve my 4 months long summer break. After which, I would most probably be participating in Sing Opens and head on to exchange at UK till year end.
One of the few highlights I had for the one week break was the Asoc Gala Dinner at Meridien Hotel. The food was ok, but for the price we paid for the buffet, really not worth the money. As usual, I was saboed upstage twice, but at least the dancing segment was quite fun. Saboed Becks to be my dancing companion and you can imagine how I made a fool out of myself AGAIN. Surprisingly though, we won, and yes, I won myself some rebonding shampoo. haha
Internship has been rather enriching. Learning all e bloomberg/finance related stuff and having the luxury of updating myself with daily news... so far so good. Colleagues are great, own work cubicle, no deadlines to meet yet... Let's see how long this last. I recalled how working at Shenton Way used to be a dream to me when I was back in college. Whenever I went there as a student, I always yearn to be part of these fast-paced working class people. Working hard climbing up the corporate ladder.. has always been rather exciting for me.
BUT, now I finally realise my dream, I found out everything doesn't seem that easy. To succeed, you need more than just hard work. Luck, opportunity and timing are damn important as well, and it gets frustrating when your superior doesn't see the hard work that you are putting in. Lots of determination there too. Sighh, hearing all the experiences from my older colleagues, I sometime wonder what are we exactly chasing for. I think I will be one who will slog so damn hard for the first few years at least... ( Looking at the hours I spent in the library during school term... and having her accompanying me till 3-4am .. ) but I start to question whether it is all worth it? Ultimately, I am just a typical guy who do want to have a family at 30, and 2 kids by 35. Too early to say anyway. For now, I will just learn as much as I can..
Besides working, I am also busy training for frisbee opens this September. I could never forget the fighting spirit and intense moments our team shared. It's really a pity university students these days place so little emphasis on sports. It's true that sports don't provide you with the ricebowl you need.... but still, i guess the experience of playing as a team is something you would least likely get when you start working, so why not be in one now when you have the opportunity?
Ok, no more mood to blog, but so far, I have been really blessed. Everything is somehow going my way, except for my aunty who is critically ill. I honestly hope that she would be able to tide over this crisis... Can't believe how emotional I was when I went to visit her on Sunday.. All the tubes over her body and her teary eyes. She was so damn helpless, and all of us couldn't do anything but see her cry. Sigh. This really reminded me how important health is to us...
For now, that's it. Ciao!
floated away at
10:50 PM
