Thursday, August 30, 2007
.what a week.
It has been a rather bad week. Feeling rather subdued and not very ready for my competition next week. Not good enough playing as a team yet. Many clashes in playing style, various unresolved disagreements and the team still has lots to build up in terms of spirit, teamwork and understanding among teammates. Sigh, honestly it doesn't feel good when you know you have not done an extremely good job in building the team up.
On a lighter note, I am rather excited leaving Singapore in 2 weeks time. For now, it's frisbee and spending quality time with loved ones and friends. You know, it's time like this that you realise you are taking things for granted again. Why must you start meeting people up only when you know you have like 2 weeks left in Singapore? But then again, there are many other priorities in life to focus on as well.
In times like these, I have learned that it's best to just pray. It has definitely helped me in finding the peace that I want for now.
Stories of Love // watch it today!
http://ch5.mediacorptv.com/shows/drama/episodes/1542/1/3/.html
" After various misunderstandings and conflict, the couple realise at the end that love can overcome all boundaries and blossom in the most unexpected of places. "
floated away at
11:32 AM
Thursday, August 23, 2007
.License to Wed.
Caught License to Wed yesterday after training. I was praying hard that this better be interesting because I was damn tired and a comfortable cinema chair will most likely be enough for me to feel sleepy. Fortunate enough, I enjoyed the show( despite the damn bad reviews I read all over the web ) as it reminded me of how love can be so awesome yet so bitter at times.
From the film, I realised how truly loving somebody is like.
1. Accept her flaws. Constantly remind yourself that you like her for who she is anyway.
2. Nobody is 100% compatible. Give and take. You don't live in fairytale.
3. When you love the person whole-heartedly, you naturally wont be able to think of any suitable substitutes that can replace her. She is the one and only, even with her occasional terrible mood swings that might irritate/upset you and ruin your day.
4. Never tell your partner:" You can find somebody better." If she has chosen to be with you, you should think you are the best. Saying something like that is not noble. It is hurting.
5. You do anything for love. You can be irrational. You can be damn unreasonable. You can find yourself acting damn silly on hindsight.
6. Never take your partner for granted. Never ever realise the importance only when you lose her. Sometimes, you might not be so fortunate to get her back.
7. Don't be stingy on confessing how much you love her and want her well.
8. Respect. Let her know she is so important in your life. Involve her in your decision making instead of others.
9. Never keep secrets from each other. Trust, and not disappoint her. Communicate more!
10. Always reflect on how you can love her better, and act upon them! You always want your partner to be the happiest person on earth anyway.
One can always say you shouldn't do so much for love. You should spend more time focusing on achieving your ambitions, on your studies etc.. but one day, when you truly find that person, you know you will put aside many of your priorities just to make her happy. Of course, that also means working damn hard aiming for a more comfortable life for your loved ones.
floated away at
9:15 AM
Saturday, August 18, 2007
.leaving things behind.
sometimes, especially at night, you tend to get a bit more emo. I will be leaving in 3 weeks time, and thinking of e people whom I will be leaving behind, I get rather upset. Somehow I am not ready to leave behind some people yet. It's more of I can't bear to. That thought of leaving sux. I remembered tearing when I left the Yunnan Kids for last year's CIP trip. This time, I better not be a wuss and start tearing again seriously. Will be quite paiseh.
On a happier note, life had been busy this week. Frisbee retreat which I got to know some of my teammates even better. Lifeguard duties which I always enjoy. Started swimming again which was rather tiring but refreshing. Had a crab feast yesterday with my parents. Caught some beautiful fireworks while at the driving range practising my newly acquired golf skills. Spent time with loved ones which has always been great even though it was for just a short while. Tough training which was rather frustrating at times. KTV session with some crazy people.
And.. I am aching all over and my joints seem to be tearing apart. My stitch hurts as well. Can't stop thinking of how to catch better, throw better and having zero drops even under rain condition.
zzz.
floated away at
11:34 PM
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
.good morning.
woke up early in the morning feeling fresh and awake. I left home for school at 630am, and on my way to the bus stop, I saw many kids and school buses and this somehow brought me back to the good old school days when my mum would faithfully fetch me to school around this time. Recalled how I dreaded waking up so early just to go to school. You know, for those who didn't know, I was a fat fair kid who was introverted and was pretty contented staying in my comfort zone with a few friends that I had then. ( Actually I still do feel contented with a few close friends ) Honestly then, I did what boys did, but I remembered getting bullied just because I was fat. I wasn't carrying an obiang bag. I wasn't a weak boy. I wasn't smart. Maybe just a little nerdie, a little fat and not very pleasing to the eyes. AND YES, I GOT BULLIED!!!!!! Just because I was fat.
Damn you people. Shallow superficial shit assholes. (&#@)*@#
Okok, my childhood really wasn't as traumatizing as what I sounded. Don't worry. I remembered the good old days when I won swimming despite being fat every year. I recalled playing catching with L, Z, J, J, Z and M. I remembered the CKT stall and catching grasshoppers during recess. I remembered playing rugby but hated it because I was fat and couldn't turn and change directions very fast and ended getting sandwhiched and taupoked. I remembered playing soccer and always preferred playing defender because I was fat and could somehow D people more easily. I recalled hating running so much because I was so fat that I couldn't move. I recalled being damn smug because despite being very fat, I was considerably fast in water!!!!!
HAHA. Enough of the good old fat days.
So, back to reality when I am no longer a victim of superficality. (I assumed)
Surprisingly, life has been even busier after I ended my internship 2 weeks back. Back then, I remembered doing lots of research, monitoring the stock market, going 2 hour lunches with colleagues & friends, staring at the bloomberg machine and talking cock lots with E and H. Also, sometimes I started to daydream how my day would be like if I wasnt stuck in the office - I can swim, sleep, shop, watch movie, spend time with mum, jog and etc etc.... INSTEAD of happily accumulating love handles by eatings lots of Kettle Honey Mustard Chips! haha. I ate at least 10 packets throughout my 3 months of internship! Being an averse snacker, I seriously think I broke the record. haha. Just days before I ended internship, I was suffering depression because I felt that I would be officially jobless in a few days time, and I will miss waking up for a purpose and feeling useful and motivated to read about the news of the day.
Now, I realise, it's all in the mind. You can still wake up with a purpose in mind. You can still be motivated by other means. Maybe the renovation work at my estate helped in conquering my greatest worry - to sleep till no day and night. I am lazy but I always try my best to make use of my time and not sleep my morning away. If I did I feel damn sucky and my whole day will be ruined.
Life after internship has been marvellous, mainly due to the fact that I have more time for self-reflection - how to be a better frisbee player. how to learn to treat some things more lightly. how to give and trust. how to be a better leader. how to be a better friend. how to deal with teammates' ego. how to be a better listener. how to love my family more. how to execute a better golf swing. how to improve my swimming strokes. how to prevent sport injuries etc etc.
Yesterday, one of my friend commented how some people like addressing their strengths and avoid talking about their weaknesses. I pondered upon that question and realised I am usually more pessimistic and always think of how I can improve myself. Is this right? At least to those who are comfortable saying :" Hey I am good at this this that that. ", they tend to be more confident and you know, sometimes if you really think you are good, you do better. For me, I tend not to think this way. I always find the bad of me and find means of improving them. I seldom work on my strengths and aim to better them. This way, I end up being mediocre in everything. However, just focusing on your strengths and conveniently brushing off all your weaknesses... seems like a bad move too.
To those who are busy working, having very little sleep ... be glad and positive. God has planned something for you. From church, I learnt that everything comes with a purpose. Be glad to embrace all opportunities given to you and make full use of them. Think positive as everything that comes has a learning purpose. Stay strong and the hard times will be over in no time :) I will be praying for you.
Some of my dearest PCG mates who have been guiding me along the God's way, Thank you.
( and bon voyage Huiling! )
floated away at
8:20 AM
Thursday, August 09, 2007
.very random.
so random... but I think I look the same. gosh.
And Happy NATIONAL DAY SINGAPORE!!!!!!!! 42 already!!
damn bo liao and tried creating a collage of my picture collections and those who happened to wear red. If you can't find yrself there... too bad, maybe you just happen not to wear red. haha.
Miss you guys!
floated away at
4:39 PM
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
.friendships.
looking at all my friends I made in Uni, I began to wonder who exactly are the "true" ones. You know, the kind that you know you can truly rely upon and do not judge you for anything that you do? No gossiping at the back and hiding things from you only because they know it will hurt you?
Looking back, I realise life in S*U has been great so far. I found you, and I am pretty contented with my bunch of brothers ( J D T Z B and K), those Asoc buddies who truly love me and my frisbee team-mates.
Asoc.
Honestly, we are not exactly the most happening bunch around ( we might seem to be because most of my friends just happen to be so good looking.. ) We don't exactly club often. We are not very loud in school and we don't do super fun stuff like having house parties, go buffet hopping or whatever... but yeap, I am so thankful for having some of them listening to my rants when I really need a listening ear. Scroll down my MSN list and I know I can depend on most of them. Most of us know each other through Asoc Camp 2006 and sometimes, it might be quite sad when there are many seperate cliques within the very big clique, but I guess, the company can be fun! Just hope that everybody can love each other more.
Frisbee.
Really thankful that my hard work had been paid off. Remember how tough it was when I was first in the EXCO. So many disagreements and the tremendous stressful juggling with all the commitments I had then. No time for frisbee.. but fortunately I had P then to treat as a punching bag. And from Frisbee, I got to learn life lessons and got closer to some of my team mates.. ( M, J, S, E , J, J, E, E, J, S, R, L, C and many more lah ) They are the most fun loving people around but would appreciate if I can be less of a topic during lunch/dinner/warmup/trainings???? Can't wait to play together during OPEN and thanks for being patient with me during trainings..
Brothers and K
Amazing how we got close during term 1. All the late night suppers, all the clubbing sessions, all the nonsense moments. You know, I realise all of us are so damn different, but yet we can feel comfortable with each other.
D- forever abrasive and vulgar but yet have a good heart and always opening his house.
J- damn retarded but yet so blardy smart. Always willing to give me a helping hand and not offer anything in return.. heart of gold bro.
B- smart ass. all those emo talks at coffee shops and currently leading swinging bachelor life.. help me damn a lot during projects!
Z- damn emo these days. offer damn lots of advice and always there to listen. swim more bro! tummy is getting bigger.
T- another kind hearted soul. always willing to help and not expecting anything in return. Remember all the talks back at Thomson Prata man.
K- always sweet. sometimes irritating, but i know you care a lot for your friends. life can be tough, but you are growing up girl. the brothers are always there for you.
And for those who I think read my blog:- (special dedication)
"Ah Soh" P.
Always very genuine... but now too much time spent with bf.. no time for G already lah. Take care of your friends around okieeee.. and forever ah soh.
H.
see you soon in Europe!
T.
I know big clique isn't exactly your cup of thing, but although everybody has little time for each other, you do know i do care man! You are like one of the first S*U friend that I know! You know.. I am still grateful you open up your house during halloweennn. But those were the damn childish days lah.
J.
you are damn childish off field. damn schizo. haha. but nevertheless, continue to offer good advices. haha.
A lot more.. but don't think you guys read... so another time man..
Ciaoz.
....
....
floated away at
10:47 PM
.School Library.
late at night, and I suddenly miss the school library.
you know, all the special moments spent there.
the gigglings, the bitchings, the friends, the GSR and all the special moments spent in the course reserve.
Oh my, I really missed them, despite all the painful mugging and all. Vividly remembered Kelly buying coffee for me last term, having some frisbee-paparazzi reporting my whereabouts, and of course many many others. Secret notes, cafe gaileeleee, the water cooler, the fruits, the lesbian security guard and you "concussed" on the table like a baby all the time. lol.
The place leaves so much memories, and somehow weirdly, i can't wait to relive the moments once again.
floated away at
1:55 AM
