Note2Self-byPharaoh

Everyone (Self included),

I know 2010 will bring all the wonderful things you deserve; love, joy, peace, kindness, family, friends, and success!

Sincerely,

Pharaoh

Self,

It's the last day of the year and I am sure there are plenty of ways for people to ring in the new year. As of now the plan is to attend a church service which is going to feature a concert by Kelly Price.

I'll be with my good friend Prince Esquire, who is visiting from Miami. It will be an experience that is new to each of us. We both agree that it would be a good way to lay a strong foundation to build on in the coming new year and new decade.

Now it's just a START. Don't know what else the night will bring, but I look forward to seeing how it unfolds. I'll update you on whatever else happens tonight, in the morning.....well probably the afternoon at the earliest if not sometime in the evening. Aw hell, at some point before January 1 2010 is over.

I'd love to hear from everyone as to what your plans are for tonight as well.

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

Self,

I was told that despite having wrote a post about my Christmas ailment I had lied to my "subjects" because I promised to update folks on some things that had occurred while I was in the mist of the 12 Days of Christmas series. This person was trying to specifically get me to write about a date I had with someone. I think he's crazy, the date that is. Well yeah the one you suggested too. ;-) And by crazy I mean the "tick-tick-BOOM, not playing with a full deck" kind of crazy, again the date. The person that suggested I write a post about it, well he's the other kind of crazy for sure, but that's acceptable.

So the date update:
It happened, and its over! I hear from Tick-Tick....almost daily via text - frightening, right? And yes I respond. Darktomahawk, thinks that I may be keeping Tick-tick around so that I can potentially get a booty-call out of it. Not likely, a sane person wouldn't want to keep Freddie Kruger around just for a romp in the hay. (No, Tick-tick isn't Freddie Kruger-ugly.) I mean I enjoy sex like the next guy, but it not THAT serious. Besides there's a possibility that 2010 will be a period during which I'm celibate. (No I don't mean Sell-a-bit, although I might come out of the celibacy with the right offer for me to sell-a-bit! LOL)

That leads me to the real point of this post. The New Year is upon us. The clock is tick-tick-ticking away the the remaining hours of 2009. I'm not one for "resolutions," but I will concede that this could be a time to do some reflecting about one's life, one's goals, one's dreams, the lessons one has learned and decide to make some changes. Rather the changes are because they feel they are a little off the mark and need to make course corrections or that they are right on target and they figure out how to get there faster.

I actually wait till my birthday to do that, so I still got a little time to think it all through. But good luck to you on yours!

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

Self,

I made it to my parents house late on Christmas' Eve, actually it was Christmas Day since it was after midnight, but that's besides the point. I made my pallet of blankets on the sofa and went to bed. Sip on a glass of egg og with a shot of dark Bacardi rum. And then I'm off to dreamland.

I woke up Christmas Day to my dad's special from-scratch-recipe pancakes along with bacon and a cold glass of milk. Not too long after that I have a glass of orange-pineapple juice that my dad had out.

We continue with the morning and in the early afternoon I decide that it's about time for me to get started preparing Christmas Dinner. So I go in the kitchen and start prepping everything. I boil the macaroni, drain it, season it , add cheese, and get it in the casserole dish to bake. I pull out the baby-back ribs from the frig so I can start coating them while heating the oil in the cast iron frying pan.

My stomach flips. I am suddenly queasy. Since I haven't really started I pause and go outseide to get some fresh air. Eventually I raise the stakes a bit with an Alka-Seltzer. I shortly go back in the kitchen to start on the ribs.

I go racing down the hall to the bathroom to stand over the toilet and empty out the contents of my stomach. Good I decide, now it's out the way and I can continue with my day. I let my mom know I want to sit down for 15-20 minutes to recoup a bit then I'll go back to the kitchen.

I'm back in the kitchen, wash my hands under hot water, and I sit out three bowls to start the coating process for the ribs. (flour, egg wash, and Panko bread crumbs.) My stomach flips again! I find it difficult to stand again and my mom suggest that I just sit and direct her on what to do because she wants to make sure we give my grandparents dinner early. So I go sit in the dining room across from the kitchen. One of the same wood-backed chairs that I've spent hours sitting in talking with family is now one of the most UNCOMFORTABLE pieces of furniture I have ever sat in. I bare it long enough to give my mom a few instructions for the ribs, then I go sit on a sofa in the living....after another race down the hall. That was all she wrote, I feel asleep on the sofa and the next thing I knew my mom was telling me to come sit at the table so we can bless the food and eat.

I sat at the table in the den/familyroom, we blessed the food. I took a couple bites of the salad my mom put together. Took a sip or two of the sparkling grape juice my dad poured in to everyone's glasses. I couldn't make it I, pulled away from the table and sat in the dinning room. (alittle closer to the bathroom down the hall. About that time a friend of my brother dropped by with his family and while they were all chatting around the table....I ran down the hall for a third time. Afterwards I passed out on the sofa again, but at some point my mom had me go lay across the guest bed until she woke me again telling me it was after midnight and was I going to stay or drive home. I stayed. She made my pallet on the sofa in the den again. (she was sleeping in the guest room to be closer to my grandparents in case one of them called out for her in the middle of the night.

I woke up the next morning...just peachy. My parents, my brother, and I finally exchanged the few gifts we had under the tree. I had a small plate of the left-overs from the dinner I planned.

That was my Christmas.

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

Self,

I warned you that the movie for the 12th day of Christmas would not be what you expected.

Today's movie is "Seven Pounds," which starred Will Smith and Rosario Dawson. In this film we watch Smith's character do some extraordinary things to help strangers he doesn't even know, including Dawson's character.

Ironically "Seven Pounds" debuted Christmas Day 2008 and here it is topping my the list on Christmas Day 2009.

I don't want to give the story away for those who have not seen this film yet but I think it embodies the essence of the holiday when examined through the lens by which the message of the holiday is love and goodwill to all mankind.

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

Peace and blessing to all.

Self,

Yes I know I'm late, but I did make it before the end of the day!

Well I'm sure that the film I have chosen for both the Eleventh and Twelfth days of Christmas would not have been expected. Good. I'm keeping you on your toes.

The movie for today is "Last Holiday" Staring Queen Latifah, and LL Cool J.

The story is that the quiet and homely, Georgia Byrd (Latifah) is informed that she has less than a month to live. Byrd decides it's time to take action on all the dreams she had put on hold in her life.

I know this is not a traditional Christmas movie, but I still think it is fitting, aside from it being one of my favorite movies - that I watch repeatedly all year long. SO here it my reasons for including it on this list;

1. It is set in winter, around Christmas and New Years.

2. The word "holiday" is in the title and the paring of Christmas and New Years is the "last holiday" of the year.

3. The "miracle" of Christmas is slightly reflected in the story in so much as its seems like a miracle that she learns that the diagnosis was incorrect.

4. Byrd stops being overly practical and living in the mundane real world and starts living her lifer for herself which allows her to find and do the things that brings her joy and happiness. I personally feel that this coincides with the "spirit" of the holiday seasons in so much as people break from practicality and the "real world" buy gifts for others and prepare a meal that far exceeds the limits of their budget in addition to the body's need for sustenance. All of it done in the name of spreading joy and happiness to themselves and those they love. (Hmmm, maybe maybe that's why everyday should be Christmas?)

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

PS Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Self,

Well I'm at the last three movies of the season.

Today's film is "Santa Claus: the Movie." It stars Dudley Moore and John Lithgow. The story is the One of Santa's helpers, (Moore) has a falling-out with Santa and runs away from the North Pole to New York. In New York, the elf works with a toy manufacturing company owned by Lithgow, as a means to prove to worthiness to Santa.

My brother has dubbed this "the best Christmas movie ever." I don't know if I would go that far, but I do enjoy it.

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

Self,

As we come down to the wire of the Twelve Days of Christmas, it would be horrible not to include one of the classic stories of the season, Charles Dicken's "A Christmas Carol."

The story has appears on film numerous times with a variety of cast members. It's the story of a miserable person that is visited by the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future, who learns the meaning of Christmas and changes his ways to embrace the holiday.

As I said this story has come to us many times before but I think this is one of my favorite versions - A Diva's Christmas Carol and it stars Vanessa Williams.

Sadly this version was not give the opportunity to make a silverscreen debut, but I think it would have done well. It's the only "made-for-TV" movie on this list.

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

Self,

My movie for the Eighth day of Christmas is The Preacher's Wife. This film starred a younger and sexier Denzel Washington, and the once golden-voiced Whitney Houston.


The story is that a preacher is having a hard time with his congregation during around Christmas and an angel (Washington) is sent to help him. Through the course of the angel's visit, he becomes close with the preacher's wife (Houston.)


The soundtrack has some WONDERFUL Christmas gems from Whitney.

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

Self,

The movie for the Seventh day of Christmas is both a classic and modern.

How the Grinch Stole Christmas, by Dr. Seuss. It starred Jim Carrey, and may be his best work thus far. Obviously this story has entertained generations of youngsters during the holiday season, and doesn't need to be summarized. Carrey really brought my childhood imagination to life in this film and it evoked such....warm and fuzzy sentimental feelings.

In Fact I have to figure out how I can see it before Christmas.

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

Self,

Moving right along here;

On the Sixth day of Christmas, the movie I have for you is....This Christmas

This movie had a stellar cast: Loretta Divine, Delroy Lindo, Regina King, Idris Elba, Mekhi Phifer, and Chris Brown (Pre-domestic violence drama.)


This one keeps to the theme of family "crazies" that occur when everyone is all under one roof. I enjoyed it, makes you laugh, might even make you cry. but it will have you watching it year after year.

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

Self,

Day 5...yes I know I'm late, but I've been busy. I'll share what's been going on AFTER the Twelve Days Of Christmas series.

Today's movie is "Christmas with the Kranks," which stars Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis. The premise of the story is that the Kranks' only child informs her parents (Allen & Curtis) that she will not be home for Christmas. They are disappointed of course, so as a means to cheer themselves up, they decide to"skip" Christmas, to the dismay of the neighbors, in order to take a tropical cruise. Just when they are set to go, their beloved daughter calls to surprise them with with a last minute arrival and the Kranks go through numerous hoops to give their child the Christmas she's expecting.

This one is definitely good for a few good laughs.

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

Self,

Well this is a relatively new movie. In fact I just saw it for the first time last night. and I think the fact that I just saw it is the main reason it is appearing on this list. Not to say that I didn't like it, but I don't know if it will be one I will watch repeatedly.

it's a sentially a latino version of the Family Stone. John Leguzamo takes his Caucasian wife, Debra Messing (Will & Grace) home to Chicago for the holiday to see his Puerto Rican family. It wasn't hilarious, but it was entertaining.

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

Self,

Well today is the third day of Christmas, and from the photo you can see the third movie I have chosen. "Surviving Christmas"

This is another whacky kind of story. Affleck is a milionaire who gets nostalgic for his youth and wants to visit his childhood home for the holidays (I think Partially because he has no place else to spend the holidays.) The catch: his family doesn't live in the house anymore. SO he rents the family and the house to spend Christmas with them. Obviously this creates drama in that he paying this family and feels they should do everything, "just so."

Sincerely,

Pharaoh

Self,

Time for the next movie for this season is The Family Stone.

It starred Diane Keaton, Craig T. Nelson, and Sarah Jessica Parker.

As I remember it the story is that SJP goes with her boyfriend to see his parent (Keaton, Nelson) and syblings for their annual holiday celebration (for the first time.) She sees a slightly different side of him than she is not use to normally. If that's not enough to send a girlfriend in to a hizzy-fit, there's some family issue that flare up during the visit that also makes SJP feel out of place. lol It was fun.

For some folks it has an added special treat due to a minor role played by Brian J. White.

He plays the gay lover to one of the Stone offsprings that happen to be deaf.

Although family dram isn't a new idea, I thought this was and enjoyable film.

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

Self,

Well it's that time of year again! The holiday season is upon us. It took me a while to figure out what I was going to use in my Twelve days of Christmas series this year, considering I used my favorite carols last time. I just decided to go with Christmas movies....so here I go.

The movie reflects my...twisted mind and this movie is twisted in its own way.

The Nightmare Before Christmas.




The story of the King of Halloween Town who kidnaps Santa in order to take over Christmas. LOL yeah I'm crazy, but it's fun.

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

Self,

Well on Saturday I had the opportunity to get out and go galavanting in the streets. Even though it was raining and I usually try to stay home to prevent myself from melting, But sometimes a brutha has to throw caution to the wind.

Well this wasn't a spur of the moment outing since a friend had bought the tickets about a week in advance. I went to see the Afroeuropean soul group "Les Nubians." I've know about the group for years, but this was the first time that I had the chance to see them perform live. I think how strange it was that I was going to let the opportunity pass by if my friend, Concertbuddy, (named so because most of the times we hang out it's cause we are going to a concert, and we have similar taste in music that he doesn't share with his spouse,) had not asked.

I'm glad I went and had a great time. I highly recommend that folks lend them an ear...lol get over the French...sometimes understanding lyrics isn't quite as important as the groove, melody, rhythm and harmony resonating with your soul.

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

Self,

Some might like to say that I am a "social butterfly." I don't think that's totally accurate. Social butterflies are generallyextremely comfortable in ANY social setting and could arguably be "the life of a party." I am not. However I do like to stay in contact with the people with whom I feel a connection.

That said I'm prone to send texts out to let people know that I thought of them at that moment. and I'll admit that I basically do that on a daily basis.

However this situation has seem to have developed a new pet peeve of mine, that I've noticed recently. I guess from my frequency and consistency of texts people look forward to receiving my messages. Which I think is wonderful. However there are some days when things are just so hectic that I'm not able to send out any texts. And then at some point during the day I will get one from people saying;

"Why haven't heard from you all day?"

Well I don't want to seem ungrateful or an asshole or anything like that, but that's ANNOYING AS HELL to me....if that is the first/only message I've received from that person all day. I mean it's obvious that if a person has sat there and thought about rather they have gotten a text from me or not, then shouldn't that person also ask themselves if they SENT me a message at all that day.

If the answer is yes, and I have not responded then ring the alarm, and that's a valid "bitch slap" question to send me....atleast then I'll know I slightly deserved it.

If the answer is no, then I wish they would just say, "Helloooo!" I mean the person could just think about what reasons may existed that prevented them from sending me a text earlier that day? Busy at work, in class, still sleep, running errands, etc etc etc etc.... At that point a person doesn't even know if I've been having a fucked up day already and could have just appreciated a friendly "pick me up" rather than a slight chastising to suggest I forgot about them or something and I should feel guilty for having done so.

The greeting doesn't have to be specific anything like these would work;
"Hey"
"Wassup"
"Ring- ring"
"In my Wendy Williams voice, - How U doin'?"

lol creativity is welcomed!

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

She tried to be "family" twice that just didn't sit well with me.

Self,

I know it's November and not even Thanksgiving at that. However its really not too early to be thinking about plans for New Years Eve, particularly if those plans include the possibility of traveling.

For the past few New Year's Eve, I've spent the last night of the year having a blast in New York City, with my brother/friend, Schehimazade. I have had such a great time that I decide that I wanted to go back again this year. So I start working out how to get all my ducks in a row so I can go.

Step 1: Figure out how many birds I can kill with one stone. All I mean by that is who else in the general area could I get to see while I'm on the East Coast. Not to say that these people don't deserve a trip of their own....but since I'll already be in the area why not enhance my experience to include their bright smiling faces. I'd like the icing on my cake extra thick! So in no particular order I went through my list of folks I wanted to see. I let NYSuitor know that I was planning an appearance and that I was expecting to meet his boy, Sunrise. When I heard that Jerzey Reality just bought a house I told him that I would want the grand tour when I got to the East Coast (why did he laugh and think I was kidding?). I figured that if I was going to cross statelines to see him that PA aint that far and I just HAD to go see Darktomahawk. I consider the idea of swinging on down to DC too....but figured I would play that by ear. Okie dokie I got several birds ready to be shot. Check.

Step 2: Submit Vacation Request at work. Well actually this is really step three. The first step was to make sure that Schehimazade was going to be in New York at that time. I mean if you are going to plan to stay at someone's house it helps if they are going to be home...but really I could beat him up, snatch his keys, and stay at his place even if he was going to be on the dark side of the moon. That's why the first step of the process is the vacation request. ;-p Filled out and signed the 5 x 7 bluish form and gave it to my supervisor. Check and Check. (One check for the form, the other for Schehimazade.)

Step 4: (Yes step four, we already got three check marks - keep up! lol.) Inform my mother that I plan to skip town for that particular holiday....but assures her that I will be here in Cali for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Yes, I let my mother know I'm leaving town, that's free housing for Thunderbolt, that won't accumulate parking tickets. Plus it's also free transportation to and from the airport. And it's first class service. Check.

Step 5: Investigate airfare. This I can do in my sleep practically. Virginamerica.com: $800 - WHAT THE F*CK! AA.com: $760 - HUH! cheaptickets.com: $580 Oh this is ridiculous! Expedia, hotwire, and Orbitz are all about the same. OK So let me come back to this. And while I'm sitting at work searcing for a decent airfare, my Supervisor walks over to my cubicle and lets me know that basically my vacation request has been denied. So there's really no point in continuing my flight search.

Ain't this a Bitch! It seems that the universe has conspired against me to keep me from going to New York for New Year's Eve. It's not that going is exactly all that big of a deal...but it's just as I see things, its just another situation where things isn't going to work out the way I hoped/planned. Disappointed.

I'm sure there's a reason I'm not suppose to be in New York....lol I don't think it's necessarily for my benefit, but there's still a reason. However,I found out that Prince Esquire is planning to be in Los Angeles for New Year's. So, I'm sure the reason the Universe is bringing him home to Cali is for my benefit.

I have a suspicious idea that the reason that I won't be in NYC is for Schehimazade's benefit. When we talked about my trip proposal, he informed me that Road-Husband, the guy he's been dating that works for a touring Broadway show, will be on hiatus during that time and they'll be "playing house." Don't get me wrong I was cool with that, it was in part what gave me the idea that I could use time to see folks, like Darktomahawk, outside New York State boundaries. However maybe the Universe is keeping me out of the City so that they can have the freedom to have that time together with out me in the way. I guess that's alright.

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

Self,

One night last week I was press into going to see "The Box," staring Cameron Diaz. I mean I wanted to go see a movie I couldn't decide which and two people, Schehimazade and Mateo, (yes Mateo and I are talking again.) both urged me to see this movie. Schehimazade wanted me to see it because he had seen it and wanted someone with whom he could discuss it. Mateo suggested it because he wanted to see it and supposedly he was going to see it the next day after he got off work...(somehow I don't think he saw it.)

SO from the previews we all know the basic premise. The man played by I believe Frank Langella, goes to Diaz and offer her $1 million if she pushes the button on the box with the condition that if she does someone she doesn't know will die.

So right here I have to say that I believe the movie would be over if it was me. I say that because to me the conditions set equates to murdering someone I don't know. For me murder is the vilest act of the dark side of the humanity and I wouldn't want to be a participant in that act.

Well that said, The movie does continue and there's some plot twist that of course changes things, making it much more of a peril for Diaz.....I mean we all had to figure that would happen otherwise it wouldn't be much of a movie if she got the money and lived happily ever after.

I don't want to give the story away in case anyone wants to see it.

So would you take the money and condemns someone's life by pushing the button or say no?

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

Self,

I was having a conversation with a friend who had a difficult experience this weekend, that raised an issue that I wanted to address here. I'll do my best to keep this short.

(Remember all names are fictitious to protect the identities of those actually involved.)

My friend, Bob, had a date Saturday evening. His date, Ricky, invited Bob over to his home to watch the Pacquiao vs Cotto fight. Supposedly it was initially suppose to just be the two of them but Ricky's brother and a few others also were in attendance. (some what expected when your talking about a Pay-per-view event, anyway.)

So after the fight, everyone leaves and its just Bob and Ricky. They are talking, Bob says it was pretty easy to tell that they were into each other. Ricky offers Bob a cocktail beverage and eventually things get a little sexual. Ricky has Bob follow him to the bedroom and they continue "foolin' around."

As it was told to me, Bob couldn't get an erection, and Ricky...tells Bob that's it's getting late and reminds Bob that he still has to drive home. Ricky then starts picking through the assorted clothes on the floor, handing Bob's to him.

Bob leaves and calls me from the car...crushed and demoralized by the incident. I do what I can to cheer him up. Telling him its Ricky's lost, that the malfunction happens to guys and he isn't the only one. He lets me know its not the first time it has happened and guys all seem to have a similar reaction....in short that run. I talk with Bob till he gets home and lets him go to sleep.

We continue the conversation today and Bob now feels that there's no point to dating or love because he is convinced that he will be single for the rest of his life. He doesn't think he'll ever hear from Ricky, based on the fact that he sent Ricky a text message today that has not been returned when before Ricky was pretty quick to return them before.

The conversation leads to uplifting Bob into understanding that he is more than his penis and what it does or doesn't do. Bob ain't having it. He argues that even though we know logically he is more than his penis he knows that when it comes to gay men....that basically rather consciously or subconsciously, if the sex ain't right they aren't going to take the time to find out what more he can offer.

And I really didn't have a counter argument to offer him. I mean even women has that on their "checklist" when dealing with a man as a potential suitor.

So my question to my readers, (particularly the gay men....) What would you do if YOU were Ricky? At least in so much as you met someone like Bob who you seemed to be attracted towards but when it came down to sex (yes on your first date) he could not get an erection? Would you effectively put Bob out cause the sex wasn't right, or would you continue trying to get to know Bob to see beyond the sex?

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

Self,

Up until now, I haven't won very much in terms of contests, and the likes. Don't get me wrong, I know that I'm blessed in other ways. So I kinda just feel that those unique 1-time random sort of blessings don't come my way because is the universe's way of spreading the blessings around to others.

So imagine my surprise..if not shock, when I learned that I was the appropriate caller to a local radio station here in LA to win a pair of tickets to see Anita Baker at the Nokia Theatre.

I enjoyed myself. Anita sounds GREAT. And considering that I think she actually came on stage a little drunk/high....she sounded fantastic, you know? I mean the look on her face suggested the intoxication...but not her singing. In fact it seemed she sang more clearly that night then I think I have heard her on some of the records.

My one slight disappointment was that for the most part she only did 10 songs. With the help of the band she stretched out the songs to use up time. With such an extensive body of work under her belt, I couldn't see the point in extending songs when there were sooooo many more she could have performed to use the time. Of course she did some of the classics;

"Sweet Love, "Mystery," "Same Ole Love," "You bring me Joy," "Giving You the Best that I Got," "Rapture," "No One in the World," and "Been So Long," Not in that exact order but you get the point. There was one song she did that I didn't recognize, that my friend said was from her most recent project (which I have not heard.)

At this point, I was a bit annoyed with the fact that she had "over" performed these songs (wonderfully) but I still didn't get to hear some of the others that I love and wanted to hear like;
"Lonely," "Love you to the Letter," "I Apologize," "Talk to Me," and "Body and Soul."

I was about to be a bit dissapointed because looking at the clock it was easy to tell that the show would have to be wrapped up soon. However she saved the show for me at least with the finale. The last song of the evening was one of my favorites, "Fairy Tales." And she punched it up a bit by having piano player, George Duke, who opened the show join her on stage along with recording artists, Chante Moore and Tyreese.

As exciting it was to have Chante and Tyreese on the stage...it seems that there weren't expecting to be on stage...and didn't really know the song. I have to say if Chante didn't know the song or just wasn't prepared she is a better musician than Tyeese because she was able to adlib a whole lot better than him. But oh well. I still enjoyed it and thought it was wonderful experience.

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

Self,

There was a soft glow of light, but it didn't fill the room. It was just enough to keep the room from being plunged into total darkness. The aura wrapped us with a blanket of intimacy, which we snuggled into comfortablely. Our bodies were pressed together, tightly. So much so that it seemed as if we were one. Sweat glistened on various sections of our skin from the intensity of the moment. The room shook from the shudders of pleasure. Errattic if not fanatic exclamations of ecstasy erupted into the air. Dislodging themselves from the rhythm of the grunts and groans already occupying the room. Our excitement reached a frenzied pitch. Passion oozed from our bodies in such a volume to drown us in it.

Ghett yo' mind out the gutter!...Just Nasty! I'm not talking about a sexual encounter of mine. That was the atmosphere back on October 9th when I attended a concert for Ledisi at the El Rey Theatre. LOL yes it was that hot! I know I'm HELLA late writing a post about it, but there has been all kinds of things that got in the way between then and now. Some of which I'll get into...some I will not. This update isn't in any chronological order...just getting it out there.

I worked graveyard shift for a brief period during that time...that kinda drove me crazy...that's work enough said on that subject.

My computer decided to have a nervous breakdown, as far as I can tell, causing the graphic card to burn out. I lamented about it for a while not sure what I wanted to do with or about it. This was probably the biggest hurdle that kept me from posting. Schehimazade, while visiting Cali for a few days, took it to Staples for them to charge him $70 (which I'm suppose to pay back) for them to eventually tell me that the graphic card has burned out. I guess the perk of having the computer at Staples was that after buying myself an external hard drive for a hundred buck, they were able to help me save my data files, like the photos from my Brazil trip in 2007, my trips to New York, Miami, and DC for the Obama inauguration. The salvaged and scanned photos of the deceased members of my dad's side of the family, not to mention regular documents and music files. LOL as luck would have it, when the Staples technician tried to show me how to go about trying to transfer those files onto the new external drive, the first folder he clicked on to start to the process, JUST happened to been a folder full of porn ....thumbnail icons of dicks and asses filled the screen....so yes, my digital porn collection was saved too, Whew!

In a previous post I had mention that I had started a dialogue with Mateo (named for where he lives,) well that blew up...and we're sort of friends...lol but in the two weeks since "our break-up," he's already with someone else, so I don't know how much I'll hear from him in the future. I wish him the best, though.

Then there was Halloween: I know that I have previously mentioned the "gay" area of metropolitan Los Angeles known as "I ho, you ho," WeHo. Well, that community hosts an annual street carnival, that runs about 8-10 blocks on Santa Monica Boulevard. At one time it was so "underground" that the debauchery supposedly rivaled San Fran's Castro District. It's now more mainstream and rather "family" friendly...meaning you'll see the little 2 year old girl in her bumblebee costume or the 7 year old boy dressed as Spiderman, walking with their parents of course. Along with guys in elaborate drag outfits or seemingly angel-faced with enormous erections poking out from under their "priestly" robes.

I haven't been in years but I went this time with a couple friends who are "new" on the scene and have never been. As we walked through the crowd we stumbled upon an "Adam and Eve" both wearing a garland of "fig" leaves, taking pictures for other bypassers, posed with Adam bending Eve over as he "hit it" doggy-style...I must say it was a hot scene to see. Ironicaly, I saw the couple again later and realized that Eve was in fact another guy.....really I should have known!

Here's photos of my costume:

Yeah I was a Flasher for Halloween...It didn't cost me a penny!!!! A friend had loaned my a "Pharaoh" costume that he had made for some photo shoots he had done in the past...but for some reason, I decided not to use it. I had fun...but I don't think I was nearly as "over-the-top" as others I saw. It was crowded...I was tired as hell afterwards ...and I saw so many pieces of "eye-candy" that it was worth it. [NO, the dildo isn't mine and I have NEVER used it! Infact I was told it was dug out of a storage unit in order for me to include it in my costume that evening.]

Well that's it for now, I'll try to keep up a bit better...however despite the incident at Staples with the computer....it still doesn't fully work properly. So we'll see.

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

Self,

Self,

Tuesday evening, my Str8-husband and I went to see a film called, "Disgrace," starring John Malkovich. I don't think that this movie has a wide release so you may not be able to see it, but if you can I suggest you do....if for no other reason than it's a conversation piece.

That said, since viewing engagements are limited let me try to give a synopsis of the story.....in order for us to have some standard ground work for this discussion. Malkovich plays David Lurie, a university professor in post-apartheid South Africa living in Cape Town. Lurie takes advantage/rape a student in one of his classes. (The act is suspect because to me it looked like she was just bored -like he was a dull screw -which makes sense for a 19/20 year old and a 50+ year old, but my str8-husband says she was passed out. Part of the confusion also stems from the fact that she later reluctantly consents to bed him again.)

When Lurie is reprimanded for the "affair" by the university, he goes to visit his lesbian daughter, Lucy who lives on a farm out in the bush/country.

During Lurie's visit to Lucy's farm, they are victims of a robbery. During the robbery Lurie is knocked unconscious and locked in a bathroom, while Lucy is raped by the assailants, three black teenagers. Petrus, Lucy’s black tenant, coincidently was away during the robbery. Lucy and Lurie were not aware of Petrus’ absence until after the fact. Of course, Lourie and Lucy report the crime to the police.

Just as the dust settles (in a manner of speaking) it is discovered that one of Lucy’s attackers is related to Petrus by his “recent” marriage. Which makes the whole think look extremely suspicious. Particularly since Petrus takes the approached that basically since the physical act is over, then the whole situation is over and that things are going to be all right now. Lurie returns to Cape Town for a while during which he seek forgiveness from the family of his student. Lurie eventually returns to Lucy's farm and learns that she is pregnant from the rape and doesn't want an abortion. He also learns that the boy that is related to Petrus is now living on the property with Petrus and his wife. We are led to think that Petrus’ sense of decency lead him to suggest that he’ll marry Lucy (for her and the coming baby’s protection.) Lucy accepts trading Petrus’ protection for her land. And that’s basically how the movie ends.

I had to give the plot of the story to get to the meat of the matter. The problem I have with the film is the message it seems to be trying to convey.

The first and obvious message is Karma. Lurie allegedly raped the young lady from his class, and the crime/sin/disgrace boomerang back on him in the form of Lucy being raped. It also further the theory that the rebound of karma is always worse in the since that Lurie "gently" committed that act against the student but it was done against Lucy violently and threefold. I don't really have a problem with this message, I think at the root of it the main message is that there are ALWAYS significant consequences for your actions, particularly for your negative actions! (And really who can argue against that, right?)

The message that I do have a problem with is that this film tried to portray the representation of the shift of power from whites to blacks in South Africa. The story hints at the idea that Petrus was behind the whole thing with the intent of getting Lucy's land. And that he may have even expected to get away with it.

The two messages combine suggests that whites in South Africa should expect the cruelty and atrocities that were committed during apartheid to come back to them at the hands of their black neighbors.

I have a fundamental problem with that line of thinking. Yes I agree that karma will deal with the atrocities of apartheid/racism, if it hasn’t done so in someway already. However to appoint oneself to be karma’s agent/champion and plot to commit acts in retaliation is ....asinine, but at a minimum it's dangerous. I'm sure I am not the only one to have received the pearl of wisdom that; "two wrongs do not make a right." One that plots to gain vengeance may think him/herself to be right for doing so, but really all the person is doing is staining their heart and soul with a negative act that karma then has to address at a later time. The path to peace and harmony can not be paved with vengeance....the destination will never be reached. And walking the path of vengeance makes a person no better (if not worse) than the ones that initiated the atrocities.

Sincerely,

Pharaoh

Self,

Saturday evening I had the pleasure to attend one night of the Mercedes-Benz Wavefest concert series here in Los Angeles at the Greek Theatre.

For me the head-liner of the night was Vanessa Williams. I have rather forgot that she has been on the scene for over 20 years. She looks great. Sounds FANTASTIC! It was for that reason that I'm surprising myself and putting her in the true diva category. The surprise isn't that she is a diva, but more that I wasn't ready to do another post on a diva nor was I intending to do one so soon on a contemporary diva again. But after seeig her live...well I just had to do it.

Y'all she looked beautiful. I made a comment to my friend who went with me that for years I had been kinda jealous/mad at her for snagging Rick Fox (that's the baby daddy,Whew!)...but that night watching her on stage......for a brief period....I think I was actually jealous that he had snagged her! lol In the words on Prince Esquire and our friend, Dallas Black (PapaBear as I call him,) "She could get it!"

It was a two-night event and I attended the second night. The line-up for that evening was a Canadian guitarist named, Jesse Cook. In addition to Ms. Williams, soprano saxaphonist, Kenny G, also performed. Believe it or not that man helo a single note for it seemed like 7-10 minutes. He explained that he is able to do that by having learned how to inhale short gasps through his nose while still exhaling through his mouth into the sax. He put his nose up to the microphone so the audience could hear him breathe.

The first night of the event stared Brian McKnight and Al Jarreau.

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

Self,

I don't know if it has been noticed that I haven't given any shout out to people for their birthdays here. It's not because I being mean or anything like that. lol it has a lot to do with memory....and I don't have a very good one....I would hate to give birthday shout out and then discover that I missed someone because I was overwhelmed with stuff and forgot! So I just decided not to do any!

That said.....there is One birthday shout out that I have to do! Today I am 1 year old, or rather "Note2Self-byPharaoh" is one year old today! On September 27, 2008 I penned my first note (Know thy Self) here.....hmm and it's been a torrid love affair since!

My first "Note" was an introduction of myself and what I wanted out of Blogging. Here at my first birthday I think some mild reflections are in order.

I had planned for this to be a daily blog as NYSuitor has reminded me on several occasions sense we connected. (Did I ever mention that he was reading "Notes" even before we had ever knew each other?)

Well I have to admit that I fell short of a daily blog. out of 365 possible entries I have a grand total of........(drum roll, please.)

158 entries.

Although 7 of those are actually "drafts" of post that I started but never finished/published. My ratio as a daily blog is about 43%. =( not even half.

However as a WEEKLY Blog my ratio would be 304% That's a hellalot better and certainly worth smiling about! =) (if you need to do the math for yourself 158/52 = 3.038......do you really have such little trust in me that you needed to get the calculator......fine, I'll wait!)

Now that my math has been verified. I have to say ratio's be damned I have enjoyed my experience with my blog. I hope you have too. a special shout out to readers and followers alike,....knowing that you're out there helps to keep the "pen" in my hand. LOL your comments help too!

Now mushy stuff aside, I think for Note's birthday it's time to do some redecorating. I'd like to hear some suggest on ways to change things up a bit.

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

PS look forward to reading everyone's comments.

Self,

I'm not sure if it's common knowledge here that I don't watch a lot of television. The first and main reason for this is that I hated feeling a slave to it when I wanted to go out with friends or on the extremely rare occasions that I had a date and these outings would occur on the same day and time as my "favorite show(s) and I worried about missing the show." So I let TV go for the pleasure of living rather than sitting infront of the boob-tube....lol now I watch a lot of DVDs and a few show I watch with my parents at their house...... but we can skip on pass that though.

So suffice it to say that I didn't see the VMAs, yet I obviously have heard about the stunt Kanye pulled. (On that I'll say, he was Wrong - he should be ashamed of himself - it seems that he is and has apologized.....yes there's more but that's enough of him.)

I'm really just want to acknowledge what I heard Beyonce did for Taylor Swift. I was told that She let Taylor come up on stage to finish her accepting statements during her own time allotment for the same thing. That to me showed some class, grace and compasion. Although that doesn't mean that I think Beyonce is a diva now...but she's on the right path.

Sincerely,
Pharaoh
P.S. Yes I just swallowed a taste of crow, but so what! lol

Self,

I got an email from a new friend, yesterday. It wasn't bad or anything. It was just a "hey I'm touching base, how are you?" type of note. He mentioned that he was frustrated with the American Political system and a few other things. All of which I understand. The last line of his email before the signature was;
"Pray for our country [Pharaoh]....just pray."

What I found significant to share with you was the...response that poured out of me.

"[A] thought occurred to me from your last sentence. You or rather we can't pray for the country - it's too enormous and amorphous of an entity for the universe to respond to your prayers. The Universe is a DIVA beyond measure even calling her a fierce bitch (as I occasionally have done) is an understatement, but I think a prayer like that would limit her powers rather then expand them. I suggest instead work in specifics.

Pray she keeps harm and negativity at bey from friends and family.

Pray she grants them wisdom and grace.

Pray she has the benevolence to bless them with a bounty of joy/pleasure/happiness to combat/balance the fear/pain/sorrow that she also wields.

Pray that financial woes are scarce and their living necessities are met with an abundance.

[You may] feel free to include President Obama (and the first family and other members of government) if you like.

If you do that for you and yours, I do that for me and mine, [Gayte-keeper] does the same for his, and so on and so forth. Then we expand her powers to allow her to see the big picture in greater clarity.....then the country takes care of itself along with the rest of the world...."

When I re-read this before clicking the send button. I personally felt that ....well the universe was speaking through me. That's the reason I chose to share it here because maybe it wasn't just his ears alone, she was trying to reach.

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

Self,

I have to say that in a way I am just winging my way through this Diva series. I hadn't quite decided who would be represented next. In the back of my mind, I think I had anticipated it being a contemporary of The First Divas.

However when a friend showed this clip to me I knew this to be a DIVA moment. I also knew that it would be very appropriate to acknowledge this Diva who is still MAKING her mark and presence known.

Since September was and still is in some cases the month that makes the begining of a new academic school year I thought this clip was additionally fitting besides just showing the divas talent. And to raise it just one more notch, today is the first Sunday of the month which pays tribute to the genre of music the diva sings in this clip. When the talent is there...you just got to shout! Here's a Diva whose name you gotta call twice - Patti Patti. LaBelle that is.




I don't think Beyonce could have done that!

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

(This will be a duel post on M.A.L.E.)

Self,

Ok Yesterday I was browsing through a catalog that I received in the
mail. I'll admit it's gay oriented, and I flip through to see the
models as well some "fashion" ideas.....but mostly the models Eye
candy all day long!

The catalog is best and biggest section is underwear (if you don't
know, yes I have an underwear fetish....SO WHAT! =)

So, I'm flipping through the underwear section, checking out the
models and I notice these sketches in the middle of the page where
photos normally. This is not completely odd it's done occassionally to
give the viewers an idea of the cut/style/fit of an item and if need
be showcase any "unique" features of the article of clothing. The
drawings in questioned had a hole/ring in the middle of the crotch
area. Of course I was curious. I initially though about the skit on
MadTV where the guys were wearing jeans that allowed their...testicles
to hang out....but I didn't not concieve that someone tried to
actually manufacture anything based on that design, nor could I see
the point of such a desing for undergarments...Suffice it to say, I
continued to investigate.

Imagine my....surprise to learn that these underwear were designed
with a cock-ring in the fabric to enhance the appearance of your
"package" imprint, by lifting and pushing it out a bit. not to mention
the added "swelling" that occurs automatically with the use of
cock-rings. And to appeal to a variety of preferences and purposes
you can order these package enhancing garments as either, briefs,
trunks (short-leg boxer briefs) or a thong. (See below.)
(Here's the thong for your viewing pleasure.)

I immediately sent a text to severaly friends...and I laughed plenty
at the jokes that they came up with in response. In fact the title of
this post was one such response from my dear brother, Prince Esquire!
Schehimazade got a prompt "Fuck you" when he feyed shock that I didn't
know the price because he had assumed I had already placed an order. -
That Ass!

Now all jokes aside....REALLY a COCK-RING in your underwear to make
you look bigger! As I said this is a gay oriented catalog (althought
they may claim otherwise) so I don't think you will be able to find
these garments in Target, Wal-Mart or H & M: Nor would I expect them
to be stocked on the shelves in Macy's, Saks, or Dillard's. I won't
even think about designer boutiques like Kenneth Cole, or Armani.
Therefore, these garments are intended for a specific group of
shoppers.

So are gay men that vain, shallow and insecure that we need cock-ring
re-enforced underwear to feel attractive/sexy to get the attention of
potential sex partners? What the Hell is wrong here? And why do I
feel like my head should hang low because these are "my peers?"

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

Self,

I've been asked...."what up with NY Suitor? Where he at? Y'll still talking?" Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

SO...here's the scoop.

He's fine, still in New York.

...ok keep reading!

Self,
Yeah I couldn't resist doing that for some reason...I'm still laughing actually!

Ok for real.

NY-Suitor is doing well.
Yes we still talk, when he's not consumed with "Sun-Rise" but we text pretty regularly.

"Sun-Rise" is the name I've given the person he is dating in New York. This is actually the second person (that he's told me about) that he's dated since he and I first met.)
I gave this guy the name Sun-Rise because one day NY-Suitor after just "bitching" about the fact that he had been dragged to the beach by this guy, sent me a two-part flowery text that the jest of it went:

"HE is Awesome. HE strong enough to take away my tears, call me on my shit and sensitive enough to recognize my moods and handle them."

Or something like that...unfortunately my phone deleted the text due to lack of memory. However I told NY-Suitor that anyone with that type of "reference" must be someone whom the sun Rises and sets upon for you....well that what I told him a few days later when we talked about it.

Initially when I got that message I was shocked for two reasons. One reason is because I felt/saw/recognized the love inherent in that statement, and was happy that NYSuitor was having a moment that was vulnerable enough to let it show. Ironically a couple days later (if not the very next day) he told me that he and Sun-Rise had exchanged "I Love You's" for the first time, that night. (Damn, I'm good huh! Yes, that's not a question, just a statement of fact.)

The other reason...is that in that moment it occurred to me that in all my years to my recollection nobody I've dated has ever referred to me in such a way. Yes, family and friends have made statements of praise, love, encouragement, support and affection in my honor and by NO means am I in any way shape or form trying to demean those sentiments. Yet, ....It's still different. However, I'm not that vain, "it's not about you: Pharaoh!"

I'm very happy that NY-Suitor has found someone special in his life. I kinda feel I had a bit to do with it. (Rather he'll admit it or not.) When we first started talking, he told me that basically he didn't really date because his guard was always up and he couldn't get close to people (correction: He wouldn't let anyone close to him.) I told him that he isn't going to get anywhere if he doesn't atleast start trying to open up to people. Of course as the Martyr that I am...I told him that on one hand I'm a good person to start trying to let the walls down with due to the fact that the distance made me safe. I also told him I'm also the worse person to try it with because I am so far a way that it will be frustrating if things really got serious. Suffice it to say, his walls cracked, crumbled some and fell enough out of the way, so that he opened up a bit to the first guy he was dating and have now virtually created flood gates that are pouring over Sun-Rise. (Damn, I'm good, huh! Again, not a question, but a statement of fact.)

SO, with a glass raised high:

- Here's to Love first and foremost!

- Here's to NY-Suitor and Sun-Rise, May all your "Today's" together be joyful and all your "Tomorrow's" hold the same promises of today!


(Damn I'm good, huh! Yeah, you know.......)

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

Self,

Solve this case....

"Hey [Pharaoh], Hook me up with someone to have sex."
That was a text message I recieved the other day.

Here's the facts:

-- The person making this request is someone I met on a chat site.

-- I've kinda considered us "getting to know" each other...if not dating, (ie a starting 5 potential.)

-- there's been conversations about us dating/having sex...but nothing has happened outside of groping and fondling through clothes.

-- This persons lives about an hour outside of Los Angeles, where I live

-- He seems to have had a rough time with trying to date guys in his area.

-- His reason for refusing me as an answer to his request is that I'm talking to Mr. "Go-see."

-- I am attracted and curious enough to want to have sex with this person, but not infatuated/lusting over him.

-- I'm not going to be hurt to hear he had sex with someone else (lol received that blow a couple times already, I'm cool with it.)

-- Because of the hard time he having dating and the stress levels he's having from work and family (could be layed-off any day now and his dad is ill with cancer) I would like for him to have a good sexual encounter....because I'm pretty sure it's just stress/tension

-- I don't know any one who I can "pimp" like that since most of my friends aren't that type of freak....the ones that are....lol He's on a work trip to the "Lone Star" state and kinda dating someone (you know who you are. LOL!)

Those are the facts:

the mystery I'm trying to solve here.....What do I do?
Hopefully I can solve the case by the end of the weekend.

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

Self,
Well I'm sure it's common knowledge at this point that I love a WIDE range of music. And that I love to experience live performances. Well this past Saturday I had a treat that falls in to both of those categories. I was able to attend a concert. The concert was for one of my favorite world music artists: Zap Mama!

I have been listening and following this group for years! Actually Schehimazade and I have both been fans for a long time. So when I sent him a text saying that I was at a free concert for Zap Mama here in LA. I got a prompt and simple "Fuck you" in response. LOL Gotta love family, right! I know not to take it personal, he's just jealous of me...with reason. Aside from it being a FREE concert. This is my third time seeing them, while he still hasn't seen them live once. Yet.

When I first heard the group Zap Mama it was a quintet group of females of African decent in Europe. The music they made was a capella in a variety of languages with complex and sophisticated, traditional African vocal patterns that took advantage of their 5-part harmony. This first clip is one of my favorite tracks and represents their style at the time.



Well this is one of my absolute favorites, also from those early years from the groups' third cd. It represents some of the changes the group went through, the majority of that change consisted of the introduction of instruments other than the human voice as well as performing in English more. But you can also still hear how they maintained that traditional vocal element and to me it's incorporation makes this song a lot more haunting....which is why I love it so much. (I've heard Etta James perform it and wasn't moved quite as much.) And this was one song that was performed Saturday! YIPPY!



It was also about this same time when the group also began to explore other areas of music which led to collaborations with other artists, such as Talib Kweli, Common, Bahamdia, the Roots and Erykah Badu who is featured in this next track which I think is actually the official video for this song. This song may be responsible to gaining the group most of its US notoriety, which was why it was one song used to close out the show on Saturday. And although the traditional African vocal harmony is still present, it is around this time that Zap Mama became a primarily solo act rather than a quintet. (I haven't figure out if the change happened due to "bad blood" or its member just growing apart, or their record label wanting to make them more marketable.)



Not to over satuarate you , but I had to include this clip because of the pics of Common's sexy ass! YUM!



ANd this one I include because it looks like the video shoot was fun as hell. And yes I'm pretty sure that is really her dancing a because she'll do a lot of the same things on stage!



Is it me or does it seem like she got some of her fashion tips for this video from Strange'(stran- JAY) in the movie, Boomerang?

I hope you enjoyed this little journey with me. As I said it was a treat for me to attend the concert last minute and I hope having shared it was a treat for you.

If you like what you've heard and want to find the CD's here is a list of them starting with the oldest.

Adventures in Afropea - "Take Me Coco"
Sabsylma
Seven - "Damn Your Eyes"
Rafiki
Ancestry in Progress - "Bandy Bandy" & "Yelling Away"
Supermoon - "Toma Taboo"
Recreation* (this is the newest and I haven't heard it yet but will get it soon.)

Sincerely,
Pharaoh