Note2Self-byPharaoh

Self,

I must be going insane from being horny.

Today, a strange notion crossed my mind. While at work, just before 7am one of my two supervisors comes to talk to one of the other guys in my section. As I'm listening to our supervisor, It occurred to me that having a threesome with both my supervisors......could be enjoyably interesting.

Don't be me wrong they are not FINE men (which is part of the craziness) but they are rather distinguished looking gentlemen....with some sex appeal that's registering on my radar.

1 is Brazilian....nuff said right! But really... medium brown complexion, 5'11 to 6ft tall. Wirefame glasses. Medium build. Has that great accent depesite living here in the states for over 30 years. And probably WAS FINE AS HELL when he was in his 20's and 30's.

The other, this is the one that actually sparked this idea. He is Filipino also about 5'9 - 5'10. A touch of grey in his hair. Round full face. And can fill a pair of jeans quite nicely. The cakes...seem so round and scrumptious!

It looks like they both have a nice "package" too!

Sincerely,
Pharaoh
PS I know I need help...volunteers??? =) lol

Self,

Well you know you must be a gay man when:

You are browsing in Target and decide to buy a DVD of a movie from the later 80's because...you remember it had a scene of a sexy brotha (who's not on the cover) wearing a jockstrap and you got to see both his "package" and his nude ass. (The $4 price tag helped in the decision making process too!)



You know you are a gay man when you feel that the afore mention DVD purchase was a steal because you realize the sexy brotha showing his package and ass in a jockstrap is a young, Dennis Haysbert, before he became a household face from being the Allstate Insurance spokeman. And you can't wait to open the dvd to fast forward to that scene!

YUM!

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

Self,
Well here is another installment in the TRUE Diva series.
I can't finda clip of what I want to show (


But here we go;




And an encore

Self,

I know I I have been missing in action for a bit. No excuse,...just overwhelmed.

Anyway I finally got a chance to cook with my brother....well I cooked, he watched TV, but he did help with some prep-work by chopping some veggies. However I'm not mad or anything because, I was very late and I don't think we would have had the time for me to walk him through the steps. And hindsight being 20/20, I kinda wonder if the dish I made was a little to advance for his cooking skills.

I made a seafood pot pie, which turned out really good. And actually I kinda two dishes from the ingredients.

I'll be posting the recipe on EsquireEats shortly.

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

Self,

Last week, I was working at our satelite office. It's the location of the "Crack Epidemic" and I work mostly alone accept for the administrative assistant (nick-named Septage Queen - SQ) on duty. I've mentioned that I suggested that she start a blog just to develop the discipline of writing regularly. (I do not know if she has as of yet.)
Anyway one day while we were working she asked me for my address. She explained that her mom is throwing her a birthday party later this month and all SQ has to do is provide the address labels to go on the invitations and she wanted my address to go on a label. Now SQ has said she wasn't inviting everybody from work. In fact she was only inviting 2 of the 7 guys in my section that takes turns working at that facility with her....and I am one of the two invited.

She says she's not all that excited about it. She's worried that her mom's party planning/organizing skills aren't that good, but has been forbidden to lift a finger to do any preparations except the guest list. I think she said it's her 44th or 45th birthday, so as far as she is concerned it's not a monumental birthday to celebrate.

All that to say I'm not sure I want to go...or if I should? She knows I'm gay, but that still isn't common knowledge with the other folks in our department. Quiet as it is kept, I always feel awkard in social settings like that when I don't really know anyone there. I considered taking someone with me, and I have an idea who I'll take if she's free.

I don't know what to do, but fortunately the invitation hasn't arrived yet, so I got time....I may even get dropped from the list all together due to seating capacity limits! lol

Look forward to some feedback.

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

(ok aside from looking a little pudgy around the middle - THAT must be this medication!)

Self,
This has been a strange weekend for me...and I'm still a little raw, but what the hell.

So let's start with Friday:
I had a long conversation with my friend RJ. He is having some issues with the guy he is....seeing. Not going to tell his business, so we talked about the problems in that situation and then discussed a new guy he recently encountered. Well it came up about me (along with some of his other friends) who are (almost constantly) single, while he can "always pull trade." Well I'm happy for him when he does (maybe a itsy bitsy tinney winney jealous, but thats all.) Some of his other friends be HATING! They are frustrated that he has dating/sex options while they don't, because from their point of view they're the ones that have good jobs, live on there own, have nice places, have nice cars, have a little money in the bank, while he don't, thus making them the better canidate. Yet he's the one with men flocking to his doorstep and not feeling like he has anything to offer them when they come knocking.
WELL OF COURSE he takes this opportunity to point out how VERY similar my situation is to his other friends (almost identical except I'm not hating on him.) And questions me as to why that's the case. My response to that was;
"The Universe is a FIERCE BITCH and I guess that's her way of balancing things out. You may not have the career and stuff but you still get the menfolk. While on the other hand I'm single and have the career. You are very quick to point out how charming, adorable, considerate and stuff you can be. Why not stop to realize that those are the things you have to offer these men that want to date you."
HE thinks that his friends (I guess myself included) should lower their/our standards and we'll have those dating options too.
Well at this point it is well after midnight and I have to work Saturday morning, so I get off the phone to go to bed. I knew he wasn't trying to be mean or anything but yeah comparing the situations stung a bit and had me feeling some kind of way. So it was time to get off the phone.

SO ON SATURDAY, while I'm at work I call this guy, Jamaica Queens (He's West Indian and is from somewhere in NY) that I met a while back at a book reading/editing session for a friend. We had gone out once and was cool. When we talked he said he was out running errands and wanted me to calll him back when I get home from work. OK fine. After I get home and settled I call. He is about to meet someone for lunch, but suggests we hang out afterwards. No call. (Don't get me wrong I wasn't twiddling my thumbs waiting for him to call, but some acknowledgement would have been nice.)

Now on Sunday I attended a housewarming party (str8) for a co-worker which was fun. Afterwards, I also went to a function at the home of one of the members in my bookclub (gay). It was suppose to be a game night but folks forgot the games and we ended up just watching the Lakers and socializing. (The picture above was taken once I returned home from the event, but that's what I was wearing.)
I knew (or atleast met) all the guys there except for two. One is the older brother of one of the bookclub members who is visiting from Tampa (and thinking of relocating here.) The other... who caught my eye, I'll call "Railroad" because he reminds me of the folk tale of the African-american railroad steel- driver that raced the steam engine to lay tracks and won. Anyway Railroad was being a little flirtatious and touchy-feelly. The night progress and when folks started clearing out I asked Railroad for his number....no big scene mind you, but a closed mouth don't get fed, right. He said yes, but needed to go to the bathroom. He comes outs the bathroom, says goodbye to folks and leaves. What the hell?

WTF?? My life, right? SO maybe there's was something wrong (hence the picture) with me that made him change his mind - suggestions, comments, thoughts?

I know nothing major but it still makes me wonder if it really is me?

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

Self,
Ok my friend is Nasty,
But I need a hump like this!



Sincerely,
Pharaoh

Self,

I am just putting it out there that starting TODAY, I am going to go on a special diet. The majority of my meals will consist mostly of vegetables and fish/seafood. I am doing this in support of my brother, ACW. (Pictured here with our father.)

My brother is working on trying to loose weight and this is one of the first steps he is taking in that process. Simply, I am just trying to be supportive and encouraging. I told him I will go on the same diet with him at least until the end of June. I already know that I will probably cheat once or twice a week because my metabolism is higher (I've been doing this for about a week already and a couple nights I was STARVING after just eating large amounts of veggies.) However, I'm not going to tell ACW I'm cheating and obviously I won't do so around him.

My personal goal for undertaking this challenge with him is:

1 I need to eat better anyway, which includes more vegetables.
2 To introduce both of us to new vegetables that we don't normally experience.
3 To create a variety of vegetable recipes so everything doesn't taste the same and we don't feel like we are eating the same thing repeatedly. (I think that's key to sticking with this...if the taste buds get bored then we're more likely to slip back into old eating habits.)

Part of our plan is to get together once a week to cook and try new recipes together.

That said, this goes out to ALL my READERS (rather you are a subscribe follower or not, or even someone just passing through.) If you have suggestions on new vegetables for us to experiment with or even better a few recipes you can share PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE email me. [email protected]
At this point all suggestions are welcomed because even without knowing which vegetable we have already tried, if you suggest a "common" vegetable, you may prepare it in a way that's new and different to US, and that will be a HUGE help. This also goes for fish and seafood.

The following pictures are of just a couple pictures I have of me and ACW from our childhoods.


The first one is actually my OLDEST memory in life. My family didn't believe that I actually remember the day happening since I was only three years old and my brother was about 7-9 months (maybe I was 4 and he was 1, but still.) They assume that I had seen the picture before and was just remembering it from that....until I described where it was taken and most importantly who was present at the time the picture was taken because there were people visiting that didn't visit often, so I couldn't have just "guessed who was there." I think I have held on to the memory because of how happy and special I felt to have a new little brother at the time.


This is a picture of us after church one Sunday. I think we were 5 and 8. However I'm not sure because my brother was "snaggle-toothed" for YEARS because he had knocked out his teeth on the playground and he just had to wait until his permanent ones grew in to place. LOL. This was probably the beginning of the time where I started wondering what being an only child would have been like, which lasted until......lol Yesterday? (actually until hmm he got into junior high school?)

ACW and I had/have our ups and downs but we are still brothers...and despite the fact that I claim ScheHimazade and Prince Esquire (and a couple others) as my brothers/syblings. ACW is the FIRST! And I think it's important for me to do this with him.

Sincerely,
Pharaoh