Note2Self-byPharaoh

Self,

I know it's November and not even Thanksgiving at that. However its really not too early to be thinking about plans for New Years Eve, particularly if those plans include the possibility of traveling.

For the past few New Year's Eve, I've spent the last night of the year having a blast in New York City, with my brother/friend, Schehimazade. I have had such a great time that I decide that I wanted to go back again this year. So I start working out how to get all my ducks in a row so I can go.

Step 1: Figure out how many birds I can kill with one stone. All I mean by that is who else in the general area could I get to see while I'm on the East Coast. Not to say that these people don't deserve a trip of their own....but since I'll already be in the area why not enhance my experience to include their bright smiling faces. I'd like the icing on my cake extra thick! So in no particular order I went through my list of folks I wanted to see. I let NYSuitor know that I was planning an appearance and that I was expecting to meet his boy, Sunrise. When I heard that Jerzey Reality just bought a house I told him that I would want the grand tour when I got to the East Coast (why did he laugh and think I was kidding?). I figured that if I was going to cross statelines to see him that PA aint that far and I just HAD to go see Darktomahawk. I consider the idea of swinging on down to DC too....but figured I would play that by ear. Okie dokie I got several birds ready to be shot. Check.

Step 2: Submit Vacation Request at work. Well actually this is really step three. The first step was to make sure that Schehimazade was going to be in New York at that time. I mean if you are going to plan to stay at someone's house it helps if they are going to be home...but really I could beat him up, snatch his keys, and stay at his place even if he was going to be on the dark side of the moon. That's why the first step of the process is the vacation request. ;-p Filled out and signed the 5 x 7 bluish form and gave it to my supervisor. Check and Check. (One check for the form, the other for Schehimazade.)

Step 4: (Yes step four, we already got three check marks - keep up! lol.) Inform my mother that I plan to skip town for that particular holiday....but assures her that I will be here in Cali for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Yes, I let my mother know I'm leaving town, that's free housing for Thunderbolt, that won't accumulate parking tickets. Plus it's also free transportation to and from the airport. And it's first class service. Check.

Step 5: Investigate airfare. This I can do in my sleep practically. Virginamerica.com: $800 - WHAT THE F*CK! AA.com: $760 - HUH! cheaptickets.com: $580 Oh this is ridiculous! Expedia, hotwire, and Orbitz are all about the same. OK So let me come back to this. And while I'm sitting at work searcing for a decent airfare, my Supervisor walks over to my cubicle and lets me know that basically my vacation request has been denied. So there's really no point in continuing my flight search.

Ain't this a Bitch! It seems that the universe has conspired against me to keep me from going to New York for New Year's Eve. It's not that going is exactly all that big of a deal...but it's just as I see things, its just another situation where things isn't going to work out the way I hoped/planned. Disappointed.

I'm sure there's a reason I'm not suppose to be in New York....lol I don't think it's necessarily for my benefit, but there's still a reason. However,I found out that Prince Esquire is planning to be in Los Angeles for New Year's. So, I'm sure the reason the Universe is bringing him home to Cali is for my benefit.

I have a suspicious idea that the reason that I won't be in NYC is for Schehimazade's benefit. When we talked about my trip proposal, he informed me that Road-Husband, the guy he's been dating that works for a touring Broadway show, will be on hiatus during that time and they'll be "playing house." Don't get me wrong I was cool with that, it was in part what gave me the idea that I could use time to see folks, like Darktomahawk, outside New York State boundaries. However maybe the Universe is keeping me out of the City so that they can have the freedom to have that time together with out me in the way. I guess that's alright.

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

Self,

One night last week I was press into going to see "The Box," staring Cameron Diaz. I mean I wanted to go see a movie I couldn't decide which and two people, Schehimazade and Mateo, (yes Mateo and I are talking again.) both urged me to see this movie. Schehimazade wanted me to see it because he had seen it and wanted someone with whom he could discuss it. Mateo suggested it because he wanted to see it and supposedly he was going to see it the next day after he got off work...(somehow I don't think he saw it.)

SO from the previews we all know the basic premise. The man played by I believe Frank Langella, goes to Diaz and offer her $1 million if she pushes the button on the box with the condition that if she does someone she doesn't know will die.

So right here I have to say that I believe the movie would be over if it was me. I say that because to me the conditions set equates to murdering someone I don't know. For me murder is the vilest act of the dark side of the humanity and I wouldn't want to be a participant in that act.

Well that said, The movie does continue and there's some plot twist that of course changes things, making it much more of a peril for Diaz.....I mean we all had to figure that would happen otherwise it wouldn't be much of a movie if she got the money and lived happily ever after.

I don't want to give the story away in case anyone wants to see it.

So would you take the money and condemns someone's life by pushing the button or say no?

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

Self,

I was having a conversation with a friend who had a difficult experience this weekend, that raised an issue that I wanted to address here. I'll do my best to keep this short.

(Remember all names are fictitious to protect the identities of those actually involved.)

My friend, Bob, had a date Saturday evening. His date, Ricky, invited Bob over to his home to watch the Pacquiao vs Cotto fight. Supposedly it was initially suppose to just be the two of them but Ricky's brother and a few others also were in attendance. (some what expected when your talking about a Pay-per-view event, anyway.)

So after the fight, everyone leaves and its just Bob and Ricky. They are talking, Bob says it was pretty easy to tell that they were into each other. Ricky offers Bob a cocktail beverage and eventually things get a little sexual. Ricky has Bob follow him to the bedroom and they continue "foolin' around."

As it was told to me, Bob couldn't get an erection, and Ricky...tells Bob that's it's getting late and reminds Bob that he still has to drive home. Ricky then starts picking through the assorted clothes on the floor, handing Bob's to him.

Bob leaves and calls me from the car...crushed and demoralized by the incident. I do what I can to cheer him up. Telling him its Ricky's lost, that the malfunction happens to guys and he isn't the only one. He lets me know its not the first time it has happened and guys all seem to have a similar reaction....in short that run. I talk with Bob till he gets home and lets him go to sleep.

We continue the conversation today and Bob now feels that there's no point to dating or love because he is convinced that he will be single for the rest of his life. He doesn't think he'll ever hear from Ricky, based on the fact that he sent Ricky a text message today that has not been returned when before Ricky was pretty quick to return them before.

The conversation leads to uplifting Bob into understanding that he is more than his penis and what it does or doesn't do. Bob ain't having it. He argues that even though we know logically he is more than his penis he knows that when it comes to gay men....that basically rather consciously or subconsciously, if the sex ain't right they aren't going to take the time to find out what more he can offer.

And I really didn't have a counter argument to offer him. I mean even women has that on their "checklist" when dealing with a man as a potential suitor.

So my question to my readers, (particularly the gay men....) What would you do if YOU were Ricky? At least in so much as you met someone like Bob who you seemed to be attracted towards but when it came down to sex (yes on your first date) he could not get an erection? Would you effectively put Bob out cause the sex wasn't right, or would you continue trying to get to know Bob to see beyond the sex?

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

Self,

Up until now, I haven't won very much in terms of contests, and the likes. Don't get me wrong, I know that I'm blessed in other ways. So I kinda just feel that those unique 1-time random sort of blessings don't come my way because is the universe's way of spreading the blessings around to others.

So imagine my surprise..if not shock, when I learned that I was the appropriate caller to a local radio station here in LA to win a pair of tickets to see Anita Baker at the Nokia Theatre.

I enjoyed myself. Anita sounds GREAT. And considering that I think she actually came on stage a little drunk/high....she sounded fantastic, you know? I mean the look on her face suggested the intoxication...but not her singing. In fact it seemed she sang more clearly that night then I think I have heard her on some of the records.

My one slight disappointment was that for the most part she only did 10 songs. With the help of the band she stretched out the songs to use up time. With such an extensive body of work under her belt, I couldn't see the point in extending songs when there were sooooo many more she could have performed to use the time. Of course she did some of the classics;

"Sweet Love, "Mystery," "Same Ole Love," "You bring me Joy," "Giving You the Best that I Got," "Rapture," "No One in the World," and "Been So Long," Not in that exact order but you get the point. There was one song she did that I didn't recognize, that my friend said was from her most recent project (which I have not heard.)

At this point, I was a bit annoyed with the fact that she had "over" performed these songs (wonderfully) but I still didn't get to hear some of the others that I love and wanted to hear like;
"Lonely," "Love you to the Letter," "I Apologize," "Talk to Me," and "Body and Soul."

I was about to be a bit dissapointed because looking at the clock it was easy to tell that the show would have to be wrapped up soon. However she saved the show for me at least with the finale. The last song of the evening was one of my favorites, "Fairy Tales." And she punched it up a bit by having piano player, George Duke, who opened the show join her on stage along with recording artists, Chante Moore and Tyreese.

As exciting it was to have Chante and Tyreese on the stage...it seems that there weren't expecting to be on stage...and didn't really know the song. I have to say if Chante didn't know the song or just wasn't prepared she is a better musician than Tyeese because she was able to adlib a whole lot better than him. But oh well. I still enjoyed it and thought it was wonderful experience.

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

Self,

There was a soft glow of light, but it didn't fill the room. It was just enough to keep the room from being plunged into total darkness. The aura wrapped us with a blanket of intimacy, which we snuggled into comfortablely. Our bodies were pressed together, tightly. So much so that it seemed as if we were one. Sweat glistened on various sections of our skin from the intensity of the moment. The room shook from the shudders of pleasure. Errattic if not fanatic exclamations of ecstasy erupted into the air. Dislodging themselves from the rhythm of the grunts and groans already occupying the room. Our excitement reached a frenzied pitch. Passion oozed from our bodies in such a volume to drown us in it.

Ghett yo' mind out the gutter!...Just Nasty! I'm not talking about a sexual encounter of mine. That was the atmosphere back on October 9th when I attended a concert for Ledisi at the El Rey Theatre. LOL yes it was that hot! I know I'm HELLA late writing a post about it, but there has been all kinds of things that got in the way between then and now. Some of which I'll get into...some I will not. This update isn't in any chronological order...just getting it out there.

I worked graveyard shift for a brief period during that time...that kinda drove me crazy...that's work enough said on that subject.

My computer decided to have a nervous breakdown, as far as I can tell, causing the graphic card to burn out. I lamented about it for a while not sure what I wanted to do with or about it. This was probably the biggest hurdle that kept me from posting. Schehimazade, while visiting Cali for a few days, took it to Staples for them to charge him $70 (which I'm suppose to pay back) for them to eventually tell me that the graphic card has burned out. I guess the perk of having the computer at Staples was that after buying myself an external hard drive for a hundred buck, they were able to help me save my data files, like the photos from my Brazil trip in 2007, my trips to New York, Miami, and DC for the Obama inauguration. The salvaged and scanned photos of the deceased members of my dad's side of the family, not to mention regular documents and music files. LOL as luck would have it, when the Staples technician tried to show me how to go about trying to transfer those files onto the new external drive, the first folder he clicked on to start to the process, JUST happened to been a folder full of porn ....thumbnail icons of dicks and asses filled the screen....so yes, my digital porn collection was saved too, Whew!

In a previous post I had mention that I had started a dialogue with Mateo (named for where he lives,) well that blew up...and we're sort of friends...lol but in the two weeks since "our break-up," he's already with someone else, so I don't know how much I'll hear from him in the future. I wish him the best, though.

Then there was Halloween: I know that I have previously mentioned the "gay" area of metropolitan Los Angeles known as "I ho, you ho," WeHo. Well, that community hosts an annual street carnival, that runs about 8-10 blocks on Santa Monica Boulevard. At one time it was so "underground" that the debauchery supposedly rivaled San Fran's Castro District. It's now more mainstream and rather "family" friendly...meaning you'll see the little 2 year old girl in her bumblebee costume or the 7 year old boy dressed as Spiderman, walking with their parents of course. Along with guys in elaborate drag outfits or seemingly angel-faced with enormous erections poking out from under their "priestly" robes.

I haven't been in years but I went this time with a couple friends who are "new" on the scene and have never been. As we walked through the crowd we stumbled upon an "Adam and Eve" both wearing a garland of "fig" leaves, taking pictures for other bypassers, posed with Adam bending Eve over as he "hit it" doggy-style...I must say it was a hot scene to see. Ironicaly, I saw the couple again later and realized that Eve was in fact another guy.....really I should have known!

Here's photos of my costume:

Yeah I was a Flasher for Halloween...It didn't cost me a penny!!!! A friend had loaned my a "Pharaoh" costume that he had made for some photo shoots he had done in the past...but for some reason, I decided not to use it. I had fun...but I don't think I was nearly as "over-the-top" as others I saw. It was crowded...I was tired as hell afterwards ...and I saw so many pieces of "eye-candy" that it was worth it. [NO, the dildo isn't mine and I have NEVER used it! Infact I was told it was dug out of a storage unit in order for me to include it in my costume that evening.]

Well that's it for now, I'll try to keep up a bit better...however despite the incident at Staples with the computer....it still doesn't fully work properly. So we'll see.

Sincerely,
Pharaoh