Self,
This is not how I want to start off the "new year," But I heard somewhere that through pain comes growth, so maybe this is just a growing season for me.
So I literally brought in my birthday alone at the beach in the rain (well it had rained earlier and still drizzled a bit)...feelin down about a the discontiued association of a romantic interest. And although I still think about this individual....even though I know I shouldn't, the sound of the waves did seem to lick my wounds and sooth my heart some. Maybe I have to make a few more trips to finish the process or even take the longer drive to my favorite beach for a more intense healing session. The rest of my birthday went well. A new dear friend took me to a special bakery in Manhattan Beach for a slice of cake....that was well appreciated particularly since I am doing a detox clense/diet which requires the elimination of sugar and dairy. Then later that night I was treated to dinner with my parents and brother.
As part of the birthday celebration friends had arranged for us to go to a cigar lounge in Beverly Hills and then a rum bar. There wasn't many of us at the lounge but it was good to sit and chill with the fellas with the aroma of a good cigar lingering overhead. The plan was to meet the ladies at the bar but a couple of the fellas did not dress appropriately to be admitted to the bar so we ended up going to a diner down the street having some food and drinks. GOOD TIMES! It was good to be surrounded by laughs, love and joyful faces.
Although the break-up darkened my horizons occasionaly, that wasn't my biggest frustration about my birthday. I appreciate ALL the birthday wishes I recieved. In fact I am even more grateful for them because of the disappointment of there being two friends I was expecting to get atleast a text from as a bday greeting and didn't. I totally understand the power of recognition....and it kind sting to not be acknowledge on YOUR day, and I will do my best to make sure I acknowledge others birthdays. One of the two I still haven't heard from...and haven't in weeks, but we have been hit and miss for a while. I hope he is well. The other I got a call from him 3 days after my birthday as I was driving to my bookclub meeting...(I'll always overlook tardiness...and I had figured it was like him to be late with it.) However the conversation was about him wanting me to find and read some comments on Facebook when I got a chance, so we he can ask my opinion about something related to those comments. I won't dwell on it nor will I hold a grudge...it's just what it is.
Sincerely,
Pharoah
