Traditionally holding hands has always been a gesture of romance and intimacy for me. I love holding hands of the guys I'm going out with i.e. whom I like very
much and hopefully want to have their babies someday. Ok I was kidding about the last part.
I remember the first time a boy held my hand. We have already gone on a couple of dates, and already pretty much established that we liked each other very much. We were strolling in a mall, after dinner, and I felt his hand lightly brush against mine. It was signal enough to grasp his brushing hand. From then, whenever a (potential) beau plays the hand-brushing trick, it never fails to send a frenzy fuzzy warm feeling in my stomach.
But what about the boys you don't particularly take a fancy upon? During the first few dates, we either start developing fondness towards them, or decide to let them go (either with a dump or as gently as possible). What's the big deal when you've made out with strangers at clubs (but that usually involved some degree of ethanol intoxication)?
Holding hands is such a pure and simple act that in it's simplicity, it speaks so much more than the tongue reaching hard for the tonsils. The unlocking hands hold the messages of I like you, I respect you and You are safe here with me, while the locked hands would reply I like you too, I want to need you, I know I'm safe with you. It symbolizes a beginning of a commitment. Meanwhile, tongue actions only speak the carnal language of you, me - floor/little bathroom stall/changing room - NOW! which I find less intimidating than the former.
So when eager beaux reached for my hand on the first date, I was much more offended than the gentleman at the club who stuck his tongue down my oesophagus. Taken by surprise and being the non-offensive character that I like to be, I quietly let the ardent hand do what it wanted to my limp hand. Alas, no hint was taken to my unilateral paralytic hand. Instead, they take it as a motivation to help themselves to my paws throughout the rest of the night. If I made a fuss, I would irk the boy's ego majorly. So my I have a stroke on the other side of my brain.
No doubt I agreed to go on a date with them, but I did not sign up for a ticket to matrimony or anywhere near that state on the first date. If guys are commitmophobes in an existing relationship, I chose to be one on the first date itself. I like to have the traditional dizzy feeling creep up on me as it did when the ex performed his hand-brushing trick on the fourth date - when I could roughly predict what drink he would order at dinner and how he can't dance to save his own life - to substantiate the what can be called beginning of a relationship.
While I am more relaxed with tongue-tugging games on the first meeting, it doesn't mean I foster the behaviour. It's easier for Tipsy-Tina to close one eye at Snogging-Sam under the influence and, as the environment and circumstances prevail. But with fully Sober-Sarah, Hand-holding-Hayden just needs to keep thy paws to thyself until further notice. You might think it's an honest gesture, but really, it doesn't score you much brownie points.
Note: (Fortunately), that relationship with the hand-brusher didn't last long.
