Obtineo

This Sunday we heard a sermon about the rich man and Lazarus as told in Luke. It was the kind of sermon that makes one think about earthly priorities and eternity.

"But he said to him, 'If they do not hear Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded though one rise from the dead.'"- Luke 16:31

This wasn't the main point, but earlier in the chapter Jesus pointed out that "The law and the prophets were until John. Since that time the kingdom of God has been preached.." That's way way back. The rich man had, 'Moses and the prophets' but was apparently too busy enjoying his wealth to take notice. For us, that essentially means the Old Testament. Which makes me think of Hebrews 1.

"God, who at various times and in various ways spoke in time past to the fathers by the prophets, has in these last days spoken to us by His Son."

So we have Moses and the prophets too, but we also have the witness of One who has risen from the dead. If God thought the rich man had all he should have needed to lead him to repentance, how much more have we today.

We have not had to do any adoption paperwork for quite some time, so it's almost hard for me to realize that our family's world is about to change. On the last day of this year we find out if our adoption passes court in Ethiopia. On the last day of the year, a little boy halfway around the world may get my name. And not long after that, several of us may be flying halfway around the world to meet him for the first time. It's a sobering thought. Thanks be to God for his blessings. And in Addis Ababa and its mostly sunny and 75 degrees; sounds like a great time to travel to Ethiopia.

At church we recently considered the book of Ruth; Boaz was Ruth's redeemer. Redemption is certainly a fitting theme for this time of year. But many moderns don't like redemption stories, at least those that show the male figure as the redeemer.

In fact I know colleagues at work who don't like certain movies precisely because those movies depict a woman as the one in need of being saved. I thought of this a few days ago when my father-in-law was reading the story of St. George and the Dragon to one of the kids. George saved the princess from the dragon by slaying the dragon before she could be offered to it as a sacrifice. As a kid, it seemed quite normal for a prince to save a princess - that's the way it was in the movies.

If this were a modern story however, the princess probably would have saved herself, and maybe even George while she was at it. The movies Flushed Away or Mr. and Mrs. Smith come to mind, but the list is long. I think I'm actually getting too used to the modern view, because I find myself noticing when the story is of the man saving the woman. Men aren't supposed to do that anymore are they?

On the surface this might seem like a simple issue about the equal value of men and women. But it seems that our modern story lines are saying something much deeper. They say that as moderns, we don't need Him to redeem us. 'Thank you very much, but we are capable of saving ourselves,' we say. In fact, we (she) might even teach you (Him) a thing or two about saving. This is a modern theological statement about our view of God.

Christmas is a time to remember that Christ has come to redeem us. Throughout scripture, Christ is pictured as a husband, and the church (men and women) as a woman. A woman who will be glorious because he has saved her. To some that story is offensive, so it is more palatable to celebrate holidays, snowmen, winter, and family than it is to celebrate a story of redemption. However to those who are willing to recognize themselves as the princess in this story, the tiding that "Christ our Savior was born on Christmas Day to save us all from [the dragon's] power when we were gone astray," truly is a tiding of comfort and joy.

Two of the girls got their hair cut today. B says its not tangley anymore and it feels kind of weird. But when you brush it, it looks like you didn't. That's kinda weird. Of course, this comes from a kid who likes to be upside down. (that's kinda weird). Other than the haircut, her day was boring. Days often seem the same. Going shopping, however, would make it different. Doing gymnastics would make it different.

After a wonderful meal shared with friends at our house this evening, M., B., and I headed to Pullman to watch the Cougar basketball team play Baylor. The Cougs had their chances, but in the end Baylor came out with the win by 6 points. We sat in the upper level.

At halftime B went to visit one of her friends who was also at the game. It turned out that her friend had won the 'best seat in the house' which is a coveted spot right on the edge of the court. Yep, right at the corner of the baseline. She was so close that she probably got sweat on her from the action on the court. She informed me that the ref called a few fouls that really weren't. Who knows, her grandfathers might have even seen her in the background on television too. I think we each had a memorable evening, but this was a special opportunity for her that I'm sure she will remember long after I forget the details of the game. It's great to live in a college town. It's great to have friends. And it's great to have a wife who loves to give gifts that people really like; in this case, tickets to the game.

We're having a great time with the Madsons this Thanksgiving. The kids love to see their cousins. With so many of us in one place, we end up saying some funny things. Like...

Five year olds wrestling - "You wanna piece of me? I'm meat"
Parents to children - "B, get off the table"
Most of us - "Why are the dogs in here?"
Parent about tired child - "I think S needs to go back to bed. He just burst into tears because he wanted to go to Uncle Jim's"
Curious girls - "Wow! That's a big chicken." "That's not chicken; it's turkey."
Most of us again - "How did the dogs get in here?"
Kids beginning to love the dog - "See, she [the dog] is a good boy."

Family fun. Lots of laughs. This long weekend has just started, so we're off to more adventures.

I'm home with a sick little boy for a while today. It's the real thing, but I think he is starting to feel a little better. He's not used to taking naps. I wanted him to rest, so I reached way down into the Dad's bag of tricks - an iPod. I really like that thing.

We have several children's books as audiobooks, including "Henry and the Paper Route" by Beverly Cleary. I love her books. They make you feel like a kid. Some were written in the late 50's, and she does such a great job of describing life from a kid's perspective. We've been reading one of her other stories at bedtime recently.

Anyway, we don't usually let our little guy use the iPod, but today I gave him the earphones and put him in bed. He wasn't quite sure what to do. He lay really, really still with his head on the pillow and earphones on both sides. As the story started he got a big smile on his face. I left him alone. When I checked on him the first time he told me something funny from the story (still smiling). The next time I checked he was fast asleep. I think he lasted for almost 20 minutes - most of the way through chapter 1.

I slipped the iPod out of his way and left the room. I bet he's dreaming right now about a boy named Henry or a dog named Ribsy.

"Moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work—this is a gift of God." --Ecclesiastes 5:19

I now consider myself a tree feller. I really wasn't one prior to this weekend. My father-in-law invited me to help him cut down some tall poplar trees in his yard. He could have paid a professional, but he's the kind of guy that enjoys the do-it-yourself challenge, at least when it comes to trees and chainsaws.

Another first. Tonight K-man and I made clam chowder from scratch. He is supposed to bring it to school tomorrow for his North Eastern Regional feast. This must be Boston clam chowder that we made.

We followed the recipe on our own because my wife was out, and I was feeling pretty good about it. But near the end I almost added one pound of butter by mistake (instead of 1/2). I was about to swear never to eat this stuff again when I thought it contained a pound of butter. Then I remembered my remodeling days (measure twice, cut once), and caught it before it all melted.

The only other problem was that we cooked the potatoes too long, so by the time the chunks came to their final resting place there were more smashed potatoes than there were chunks. BUT K-man tried it and said it tasted great! Another lesson in how much work it takes to prepare a good meal from scratch. Now we need to clean up.

People really are creatures of habit. Today as a member of a parking committee, I read that several people parked in a red lot because it had been blue for the past several years. Never mind that the map they received had it labeled as a red lot. Never mind that the sign said it was a red lot. People who were used to parking there last year when it was blue parked there because they assumed it was still blue. I don't think they even noticed.

Then on my way home (in the dark) I cam to an intersection that has recently been a temporary 4-way stop. But this time when I drove up to the sign it said that cross traffic would not be stopping. So I was extra cautious to wait for a clearing. But there was no sign for the cross traffic telling them not to stop. So some people stopped, even though there was no stop sign for them, and others kept on going. Some stopped before they turned, and others kept on going. It was far worse than a 4-way stop. Finally I crossed anyway in front of a stopped car that looked like it was waiting for me...even though it had the right-of-way.

Even as finished this post I realized that I was writing on my wife's blog. Out of habit I typed in her password! What a day. I'm glad we showed a little mercy to the people who got a parking ticket. Routines are powerful. Just remember: Things are not always as they have been just because they were.

Today my third grader got the bright idea of starting a diary. His sisters informed him that diaries are for girls. He needs a journal. Either way, he now has a Spiderman binder with the first page full of words. Here is his first entry.

"Today I got to bring a different school bag to school that I haven't ever brought to school. I also got to wear my new school shoes that I have only got to wear once. On the same playground me and some of my friends played a little game of two hand touch football, and Calvin tagged me and accidentally pushed me and I kind of hurt myself and got kind of wet. But I kind of thought it was funny. I also got a hair cut from my mom, and I like how it feels in the back. Me and my class got to have play practice on the stage for the first time, and we had only one prop, a chair. At one football game it was the last down and Brian intercepted, when Calvin threw the ball to Nate, and he ran all the way across the field and made a touchdown."

There you have it. The the important events of today. You won't find this on NPR news, only here.

Today must have been my special day. Before I left home I threw a Tupperware container of leftover supper into a used plastic grocery bag for lunch. That was it; one container. My daughter and I rushed off to school and work ahead of the rest because we had things to do.

When I got to work I walked down the hall to put my lunch in the refrigerator. I looked into the bag, and to my surprise there was a dark rectangle. It was a chocolate bar and a receipt? Wow, thought I. How did that get left in there? Then I opened the little piece of paper that was folded in half. This is what it said.

"I love you dad have a good day"

It's a great day to be a dad. I love my kids. I love chocolate too. What a pleasant surprise.

Today I decided to help in the kitchen by doing the dishes that wouldn't fit in the dishwasher. I think we could have filled three dishwashers if we had that many. My wife is making food for others, food for a potluck, bread for church, and food for tomorrow. I think I cleaned some of those same dishes twice before ever getting out of the kitchen once.

This work reminded me of an article written by Ben Merkle in Credenda Agenda a couple of years ago. It was titled, Sexual Opera. The point was that our culture, and men in particular, love sex, but are not as willing to give their attention to the fruit of it - children, and grandchildren. He likened sex to an opera where people like to be known as opera lovers, but are rarely willing to sit through the whole opera. Instead they leave at intermission, not willing to embrace an encore of children as a result.

Eating a good meal can also be thought of in the way Ben described. Most men love to eat a wonderful meal. Sometimes we're willing to help. But how much do we love the whole opera. A great meal takes preparation. It takes time and attention. Do we get intimately involved in the event, or do we only look forward to the meal (which might only take a short time to eat)?

I'm thankful that the woman in my life is committed to the whole opera - when it comes to children and when it comes to meals. She often says how much she loves cooking. Wierd as it sounds, that even includes cleaning the dishes.

I think we men need to be more eager for the whole opera. Helping in the kitchen before and after eating the food may not be the first thing on our very legitimate to-do-lists, but it's an important part of life. I also want my boys to be good husbands and fathers, so I want them to learn this lesson. It applies to many things. I think they need to start helping more with preparing our meals. Lord willing, someday they will be men who truly love the opera from start to finish - men who love the meal, not just eating.

I haven't been a good blogger lately. Too many things to do. By the time I get home I would prefer to do something that takes a little less thinking actually. But I would like to post more pictures on my blog. Text alone gets boring.



This week we had four of our children's friends living with us for a few days. Our dishwasher wasn't quite able to keep up with all of us, so we pulled out the plastic cups and wrote names on them. These here were just for the kids (the parents must have been using theirs at the time). It was much easier to get the cups, rather than the kids, to stand still for a picture.

"As you do not know what is the way of the wind, or how the bones grow in the womb of her who is with child, so you do not know the works of God who makes everything. In the morning sow your seed, and in the evening do not withhold your hand; for you do not know which will prosper, either this or that, or whether both alike will be good."

Ecc. 11:5-6

I'm at a meeting learning about diversity in higher education. The take home point that applies most to our upcoming adoption has to do with 'unconscious biases.' This topic came up in the book that I've been reading too. As a white guy I have grown up without thinking much of it. But one of my sons will one day encounter biases because he is black. The biases that have worked to my advantage will not help him. Instead they represent obstacles that he will need to overcome. He will face challenges that I have never known. So what do the experts say can be done? First, recognize that we all have unconscious biases and assumptions. When we are conscious of them, we can try to address them honestly.

"..immersion/emersion is characterized by a strong desire to surround oneself with symbols of one's own racial identity, and actively seek out opportunities to learn about one's own history and culture with the support of same race peers. during [this] phase the developing Black person sees White people as simply irrelevant."

"One emerges from this process into the internalization stage, characterized by a sense of security about one's racial identity. Often the person at this stage is willing to establish meaningful relationships across group boundaries with others.."

"The best way to learn a second language is to travel to a place where it is spoken and experience complete immersion. Once you have achieved the level of proficiency you need, you can leave... You may chose not to speak this new language all the time, but if you want to maintain your skill, you will need to speak it often with others who understand it."

"Having a place to be rejuvenated and to feel anchored in one's cultural community increases the possibility that one will have the energy to achieve academically as well as participate in the cross-group dialogue and interaction many colleges want to encourage.

-B.D.T. p76-

"The opportunity to come together in the company of supportive adults allowed these young Black student to talk about the issues that hindered their performance - racial encounters, feelings of isolation, test anxiety, homework dilemmas - in the psychological safety of their own group. In the process, the peer culture changed to one that supported academic performance rather than undermined it.." B.D.T. pg. 72

"Imagine your own response when you are upset.. He or she asked what's wrong and you explain why you are offended. Your partner brushes off your complaint, attributing it to your being oversensitive. What happens to your emotional thermostat? It escalates. When feelings, rational or irrational, are invalidated, most people disengage. They not only chose to discontinue the conversation but are more likely to turn to someone who will understand their perspective." -B.D.T. p 59

"Be the change that you want to see in the world." - Mohandas Gandhi.

I had not seen this quote for a long time. It seems like a relevant quote this political season. Change. Everyone is promoting change, no matter what side of the debate they are on. I think our natural human tendency is to want other people to change or to want other people to change things for us. The last place most of us want to look is in the mirror. But that's really where change needs to occur. This applies to lots of situations, even marriage.

A few weeks ago I went to the WSU Office of Multicultural Student Services for a work meeting. They have several student centers located adjacent to each other near the top of the Student Union Building. These centers provide comfortable places for students to socialize, do homework, and make use of mentors and academic support services. So with this in mind, I have picked up one of my wife's new books with more interest than usual. It's "Why are all the black kids sitting together in the cafeteria? and other conversations about race. Its a national bestseller written by Beverly Daniel Tatum. I'm interested to see what she says, particularly about promoting unity, if she does. So far it feels a little more academic than she intended. I'll probably read more on my way to another meeting next week. The question on the back of the book: is this self-segregation a problem we should try to fix, or a coping strategy we should support. The book was published about 11 years ago. My first few sentences might be foreshadowing of the books answer to this last questions. We'll see.

My wife keeps tagging me, and so finally I respond here. Seven weird/random things about me:

1. I hate to buying shoes. Half of the time I get them home and they don't turn out to be that comfortable, so I really dislike taking the time to look for new ones.

2. I have never been to Europe, Asia, Africa, South America, Australia, or Antarctica.

3. I love creamy foods - cream pies, cream soups, whipped cream, ice cream, etc. It's my comfort food.

4. I'm a binge cleaner: I like to clean and organize things really well once in a while, but not as often as I should.

5. I'm an optimist. No, not an optometrist.. and optimist.

6. I'm not a good speller, and I have gotten worse since using spell check every day.

7. I wanted to be a long-haul truck driver when I was a kid. That's probably because of the TV show BJ and the Bear. Was that 80's?

(two more for good measure).

8. I didn't like to read when I was a kid. I enjoy reading now, but it usually makes me sleepy.

9. I'm a first-generation college graduate (Go Cougs).

Two of the guests on NPR's Fresh Air were involved in making the film Religulous - a satirical and critical look at the world's religions. These guys (B. Maher and L. Charles) spoke from a very rationalistic and individualistic perspective. I would like to see this film. I recall that one of them said:

"Religions have to be re-looked at to see if they still make sense."

But what's new here? People have stumbled over what makes sense for thousands of years.

"Let no one deceive himself. If anyone among you seems to be wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, "He catches the wise in their own craftiness." -1 Cor. 3:18

"For since, in the wisdom of God, the world through wisdom did not know God, it pleased God through the foolishness of the message preached to save those who believe...but we preach Christ crucified, to the Jews a stumbling block and to the Greeks foolishness." - 1 Cor 1:21

When I got home today my wife was looking at an Atlas of The World published by Rand McNally in 1990. It was a wedding present that we received in 1992. She was looking at maps of Germany. Then the following title in the World of Wonders section of the atlas caught my attention. Look at this popular summary of our climate. Apparently the dominant catastrophic theory of the time was on the cold side.

"The Changing Climate: Clues to the climate of the future lie in the facts of the past. There is every likelihood that the climate conditions that gripped the earth at the height of the last ice age 18,000 years ago will return one day. A drop in global average temperature of only 4F (2C) could initiate a new ice age. The advancing glaciers would imprison so much of the world's water that the oceans would shrink, stripping the seas from the continental shelves. New York City would lie under an ice sheet thick enough to bury the Empire State Building twice over. Montreal, Detroit, and Chicago wold be entombed in snow, and the Midwestern prairies would become a peninsula of Asia, and you would be able to walk from England to France. On the other hand, some scientists believe that a rise of only a few degrees in global temperature would start a meltdown of the polar ice sheets and flood low-lying cities worldwide."

It's good to laugh at ourselves sometimes. When you think of free market this week, most people might guess that I mean the historic 777 point drop in the stock market yesterday. Perhaps the failed $700B bailout legislation? Nope. Rather, last week I listed my first item for sale on eBay. A coworker told me to trust the market and list things at a low price. Don't worry about a reserve she said. So that's what I did, and before long people were throwing quarters and dimes at my item. I was selling an unopened box of 1989 Fleer baseball cards. It's a good test case, since frankly I have several. Well, before it was over the bid went up to $4.14 a few days ago, and thus another first - I sold my first item on eBay. I've learned a few things about shipping costs in the last week - things that I never really wanted to know.

But this post is not about that; it's about the free market. So, here is the ode. In 1987 the box cost around $20. From what I could tell, boxes might now be worth $15 if you're lucky. Mine brought a total of $12. 64. The post office got $8.64, and I came home with $4.00. And I think I should get some credit here for helping the post office. Our mail carrier is a really, really nice lady, so I don't feel so bad. But actually, I didn't come home with the money...my eBay skills are still developing...actually my wife got the money because it went to her PayPal account instead of mine. So at the end of this day, I didn't bring home any cash, but I sure learned a lot!

"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." - unknown

This is a saying that I heard from someone at work. It has to do with first impressions and it was said in reference to relationships. In fact I think it was in reference to someone who was trying to ignore some early dating warning signs.

"The Rev. Martin Luther King Jr., one of the greatest figures of the 20th century, fought and died for equal rights. But equal rights and equal results are two very different things. Results flow from hard work, application, self-investment, competition and assumption of personal responsibility. Today, in America, for those willing to invest in themselves, work hard and avoid bad moral mistakes, opportunity abounds." -Larry Elder, Are there still two Americas, separate and unequal? Ebony, Aug. 2008

I saw this article at the Yahoo website this morning, and it made me think of work. It was "Dating Diary: 10 Dating Red Flags." I had a little fun with this by replacing the words for girlfriend with "collaborator", friends with "co-workers," etc. Try this little mind experiment with those new words - or whatever is relevant to your work, and see how it sounds.


"When determining if you should let things get serious, remember: actions speak louder than words. With that being said, here are ten dating (collaboration) red flags. If you see any of these, do yourself a favor and reconsider if it's worth it for you.

1. You are not on the VIP list for breaking news
Were you the last to learn about this person's _______ or new _______? Once things are serious, you should be among the first to know about exciting news, or bad news.

2. They avoid meeting your family or friends
If they are shying away from meeting your _______ consistently, then there are problems. Even if they are very shy, they should want to meet those who are important to you.

3. They don't make any sacrifices
Healthy relationships don't require bending over backwards all the time, but a certain amount of sacrifice is necessary in a selfless union. When two of my friends first started dating one another, she demanded that he go to Farm Aid for her birthday, which was also the opening NFL football Sunday. While all the guys gathered to watch the games, he was sweltering on some field attending Farm Aid -- an event he never would have gone to if she hadn't have invited him. Now that's sacrifice.

4. They can't fit in your future
I admit it. When I meet ______, I envision future moments I may some day share with them. Most of my scenarios are _______with me and my family at a ______ or at a ______. If I'm really into her, I usually relish the thought. If not, I kinda cringe.

5. They are too controlling
It's scary but I've seen many relationships where _______ forbid _______ to hang out with certain friends, or _______. Major problem if someone is controlling you and not allowing you to be who you want to be within a relationship.

6. The "what are we" conversation fails miserably
Almost every relationship hits that crossroads where you both decide if it's worth taking the plunge into being exclusive and calling each other _______. If they are confused and surprised that you're ready to get serious, the timing is not right, and you should try to figure out how long you want to wait around until they are ready.

7. They talk about plans that don't involve you
My sister has major wanderlust. She's always talking about heading off to Chicago or living in London for a year. She often talks about these things with no regard for the fact that she has a boyfriend at the time. If you find that someone is making plans or talking about far off places without inviting you along for the ride, don't let yourself get too into this person.

8. Your friends or ______ don't like them
Remember that your friends and ______ know you best. Don't take their thoughts with a grain of salt. It's one thing if a person or two don't get along with your _______, but if a lot of them are saying you should reconsider, then do it. Unfortunately, we often find out about how much our friends hated that person after this person is gone.

9. They violated your trust
Whether it's cheating or a little lie that they got caught in, it will be hard to regain trust. Trust is something we don't give away easily, and once it's gone it's hard to get it back. We'll always be wondering about that lie, and doubt will creep in more and more as our minds fixate on that lie. Too often, people take trust for granted and once they lose it they never get it back.

10. You practice "unbalanced ______"
Are you always seeing his _______ or doing things that he wants to do? Do you just let him pick the _______ and events? Or is it the other way around? Relationships are fun when you are both able to contribute. If you're not taking turns creating fun times together, it will most likely fizzle out."

The original story was found here: http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/dating-diaries-ten-dating-red-flags-258416/

I've been on several search committees at work recently. One of the questions that is often asked is something like, "What do you think is the most important aspect of working with other people?" I've started to get excited to see if anyone will answer this question like I would. I think the last six applicants have all answered it the same way. The overwhelming answer is, "communication." People say they want to know what expectations are. They want to know what's going on. They want people to talk to them. Even now I can think of many specific cases at work where people have simply failed to communicate. This can indeed cause all kinds of problems. But despite this good answer, it's not what I would say. My answer is related but different. The people I've interviewed lately have not even mentioned this one when they elaborate on communication. My answer to this question is, "trust."

I'm slowly adding to that list of advice for newlyweds that I wrote about some time ago. The topic label is marriage.

Don't criticize your spouse. Build her up. Practice appreciation instead of criticism. And don't allow another person to tear her down in your presence.

Last Friday I flew to the Governor's office for the announcement of the new grant that my office at the local university manages. We worked long and hard on the proposal at the end of last year, which was no fun over the Christmas holiday. One could have conceived and delivered a child in the time it took to get the announcement from the National Science Foundation, but it finally came. I'm very thankful. It will be a great new challenge. I have been doing this job for about six years now, and this project alone is supposed to last for five years. By the time it's done my oldest daughter will be almost 19 years old, and my youngest will be eight- yikes.

"Love is always doing the very best for the object of one's love. This is what love is and what love does, and there is nothing mysterious about that... What is it that makes us want to do the best for the one we love?...love recognizes a unique value in the beloved and chooses to affirm the value of the beloved always...real love is always a choice backed up by action."

"C.S. Lewis showed the difference between agape and the natural loves by using the picture of a garden. He describes the natural loves as a garden that would soon run to weeds if left alone. This is inevitable because of self-centerdness, willfulness, and the other sins resulting from the fall. Agape love acts as the rakes, hoes, shears, plant food, and weed killer employed by a skilled gardener to keep the garden thriving, orderly, and beautiful. When God planted the garden of our nature and caused the flowering, fruiting loves to grow there, He set our will to tend them, to watch over them and care for them as a wise gardener should. This operation of the will is agape love - a knowledgeable and skillful love always concerned with doing what is best for the beloved." - Ed Wheat

"First, we learn that we can change things. Our despair, cynicism and laziness may insist to us that nothing ever really changes and that we can never really make a difference. But on high we see a great cloud of witnesses stand to their feet with a different testimony." - Gary Haugen, Good News About Injustice

This is a great reminder and encouragement. A couple examples of these 'witnesses' include Dr. Kate Bushnell and Rev. Murphy. The first helped take on the 'dens of forced prostitution' that were rampant in the logging camps and mining communities in the Upper Midwest in the 1880s. No one would properly investigate, so she infiltrated brothels and interviewed hundreds of women to get proof of the conditions that existed. She then made it public. The second, could not stand to see the oppression of tens of thousands of children under age fourteen who toiled in the textile mills in the American South. He helped bring about the abolition of child labor in America. The point of of the author is, in part, that these examples are of pretty normal people who really did change things because they refused to despair and do nothing.

I'm not thrilled with the writing style of this author, but his call to 'uncommon courage for common Christians' is very good.

Today was a significant day at work. I won't go into details until next week, but I wanted to make a note of it here. I am blessed to have a job that I enjoy very much, and I get to work with some very interesting people. The job has been fruitful in many ways. I am grateful to have a job that keeps my interest and challenges me.

For some time I have wanted to write some thoughts about excess.

When I was a kid my mom would buy things for me. When she found out what I liked, there was rarely a concern about 'too much of a good thing.' In fact even now, grandma likes to give gifts that she knows people will like. If one of the boys says he likes spiderman, you can be sure that we will soon have multiple toys and other things with spiderman on them. She had almost nothing when she was a child, so when she has the opportunity to give she gives and gives. Her giving spirit is one of the things that makes her a remarkable person.

After a few years of collecting, baseball cards seemed to become more commonly available. My mom would buy them for me by the box. In fact, she knew when the candy delivery guy was scheduled to deliver at the drugstore, and she bought some of them directly from him before they even made it to the shelf. At one point I started saving the unopened boxes, thinking that they might be worth a lot of money someday. Had that turned out to be true, I would probably be singing the praises of excess. But the reality is that most of the 'modern' cards are now worth very little. So I have an excess of cards.

I have grown up during one of the most affluent periods, as an American, that the world has ever seen. Since I have had so much, it is probably relatively easy for me to sit here and think about 'less is more.' But to some extent I think less really can be more, and I know the principle of moderation is biblical. For instance:

"Give me neither poverty nor riches - feed me with the food allotted to me; lest I be full and deny You, and say, 'who is the Lord?' or lest I be poor and steal, and profane the name of my God." - Proverbs 30:8-9.

My father-in-law, as compared to my mother, definitely tends to be more on the less-is-more side of the fence. I have come to have great respect for his philosophy of stuff. I think he would say, 'better a few high-quality things that will last, than a large quantity of less expensive stuff that wont last long.'

It is possible to go too far on either side; there are temptations in plenty and temptations in want. The temptations are different. I hope to be more thoughtful about what I'm teaching my kids about stuff. I want them to enjoy the blessing of moderation. I also want them to freely give.

Here is a little story, as told by E. I think it's interesting that both of her recent stories are about birds. Hmm.

"One day a little girl went for a walk. She found a bird. She could not figure out what kind of bird it was. She thought and she thought. She kept thinking, but she still could not remember. So she walked a little farther and tried to think again. She thought, 'was it a bluebird, was it a robin, what bird was it?' She said to herself. Self. I wonder if I will ever find out. Then she saw another bird. She was thinking about what kind of bird IT was. She thought it looked much like a robin. It was a robin."

I searched my blog for the word "strife" and it has come up for the last two months. This will make it three. I think the proverbs about strife stick to my mind because strife can be found in all too many places. The key is to put an end to it.

"If you have been foolish in exalting yourself, or if you have devised evil, put your hand on your mouth. For as the churning of milk produces butter, and wringing the nose produces blood, so the forcing of wrath produces strife." - Proverbs 30.32-33

I like how this makes the point in a subtle "if, then" way. If we wring a nose, it bleeds. Duh. If the mouth is always exalting self, strife is the result. But there is at least one way to stop that kind of bleeding... cover with hand.

I've been out of the blog loop for a few days. Life seems to have gotten bussier and time to write is harder to find. However, I'll resist the temptation to stop and try to keep posting. My wife has done a great job of writing regularly. You go girl! I am so impressed by her.

Tomorrow my office is moving from the building that I have been working in since we moved to Moscow in 1999. The need to move came about it a wierd way, but I'm looking forward to this small change of scenery. Sometimes small changes like this help one to stay fresh and out of the rut of routine and familiarity. I'm not that sentimental about buildings, so there are no tears about that. We're going to a smaller office, but this next one will actually have central air, so I won't have to listen to the roar of a window fan all day.

It's getting late and raining very hard outside at the moment. This seems like a strange time of year for rain. I don't remember getting this much water at the end of August in recent years. It will be great for my poor water-deprived yard. Now that the soil is getting moist, I think it's time to start the small landscaping project that I have been putting off. I hate to spend much money on this, but I think most of the investment will be my labor. the materials are relatively cheap. It's time to love my neighbors and give them something a little nicer to look at on the North side of the house.

All of these preceding paragraphs and no spelling errors. Wow. It's time to stop while I'm ahead.

My mother recently wrote a letter to one of our daughters and told the story of her childhood. She is glad that we have decided to adopt. I know that she can relate to those in need. She was an orphan too. I have heard her tell this story a number of times, but it seems to be even more significant now. This is the short version.

"I never knew my mother or father. I don't remember ever seeing them. I lived with my grandmother until I was five years old when she died. She was 59 or 60 when she died. Two or three days before she died they put me on a train all by myself at five years old to go live with my great aunt Minnie. It took two or three days to get to aunt Minnie on the train, but the Lord was so good to me. He had a lady on the train that liked me, which made me happy. Aunt Minnie was a worker and made me work milking cows and feeding all the other animals. She couldn't write, as she never went to school. So I also missed a lot of school; I only had four full years. I just worked and worked on the farm. I didn't have much to eat, only milk. I guess that is why I drink so much milk now. Once in a while she would get bread. There is so much I didn't know. When I was around 13 years old I was taken away from her. Anyway, I ended up living with my aunt Sue. I had four more years at school and then got married."

I'm looking forward to introducing our little guy to his grandmother. I think she will have a very special place in her heart for him - a place that he may not fully understand until he comes to know this story.

Be sure to read some of the books that your wife loves, and talk to her about them. That's my advice to myself and anyone else who wants to know their wives better. I found that reading the "Power and the Glory" was well worth my time. It was a thought provoking book. In certain parts I could see why I thought my wife liked it, and our conversation about it was just as interesting to me as the book itself... even more.

"One day B was playing with her brother and sisters. B did not like to read even when she was bored. She thought it was too slow. But one day B was so bored that she didn't care what she did. She just wanted to do something, so she went to her room and picked up a book and read the whole book of 384 pages. That day B learned a lesson: If you just sit down and read it can go fast." - B

I just returned from a short trip, and I'm getting into "The Power and the Glory" after all. It just took me awhile.

The main character is a priest who is wandering from town to town trying to hide from the authorities. If they find him they will kill him because, in this novel, the land is being purged of all such forms of religion. He is struggling with various sins, past and present. It reminds me of the prophet Elijah, who thought that he was the last prophet alive under Ahab and Jezebel ("I alone am left; and they seek to take my life"). Elijah was faithful. However, at this point in the book, that's not how the priest is portrayed.

The timing of this book selection is interesting, because just as I'm reading a novel about a priest who is taking his collar off so that he will not stand out in a crowd, our pastor is putting one on. This is what he said about it.

"Finally, one of the central callings of ministers is to speak, proclaiming the gospel, comforting the grieving, calling the wicked to repentance, and declaring forgiveness to the penitent. These collars at our throats remind both us and you of that responsibility. And that’s a terrifying responsibility, but it is actually the calling of all Christians."

When I sit down to read this evening my eyes close and my mind wanders. But I think I can still type.

Note to self. I was getting grumpy this afternoon. I think it was mostly due to my own expectations. Even though I know better, I sometimes try to put myself first. I'm most tempted to frustration when my expectations are not met. For example, today I wanted the kids to rest or play quietly in their rooms before going out together this afternoon. I hoped to spend some time reading. But the kids were not in a quiet mood, and I couldn't read more than a few paragraphs at a time. I was getting grumpier every time I tried harder to make things go my way. I finally decided to just put my plans aside and focus on doing things with the kids now rather than later.

I loaded the kids into the van and we went to the pool. They had a good time splashing and swimming, and some even found other friends to play with. When we got home some of us played board games while others watched part of a movie. We explored some music on Pandora.com (including some Frank Sinatra which reminded me of the wedding yesterday) while dinner was being prepared. Then we had a nice meal - bigger than usual for a Sunday evening. E. and I did the big dishes in the sink (she actually likes to wash), and that gave us a little extra time to chat. After supper most of us went for a walk around the neighborhood, and the little kids practiced following directions (or not). After that I went to the store and got ice cream and Oreo cookies for desert.

And that's it. Nothing big, but it was a nice afternoon. I enjoyed almost every minute of it - as soon as I put aside my expectations for a nice afternoon.

I'm not interested in character development. Oops. Did I actually say that?

That's my confession after reading 2 1/2 chapters of a novel. I'm not yet sure what to say about this book because not much has happened. I like character development in the midst of action. I'm reading, but I'm actually just passing time waiting for the action to happen. I've been informed that this is not an action novel. My wife was appalled that I'm not interested in the characters. I'm sure this reaction is because characters and their relationships are the stuff that life is made of. I know. I think this lack of interest in those details is one reason that many guys have to work harder than our female friends at understanding relationships.

So I'm going to stop expecting action. From here on out my goal is to figure out these characters. I can think of three so far, a priest, Captain Fellows and his wife. There are probably others I have missed, but I'll try to pay more attention this time.

Last night I went to a bachelor party for a friend who is getting married tomorrow. The bachelor parties in my circle of friends are not like the ones in the movies. They involve singing psalms, telling stories, reading aloud, giving advice, and sometimes cigars (which I don't have a taste for). I generally don't like to think of myself as someone who is old enough to be giving advice to newlyweds. But the fact is that I'm getting old and I've been married almost 16 years. Wow. I ought to know something about marriage by now, even if just from all the mistakes that I've made. Even though this topic has the potential to get me into trouble, this is due warning that I hope to post a few thoughts about marriage. If nothing else, it might give my wife a good laugh and guidance as she helps me to become a better man. At best, I might find a few pearls of wisdom to pass onto my friends or even my kids someday. The label for these posts will be called, Marriage.

I feel compelled to tell you something about my youngest daughter's personality. It's something you really should know. She is the kind of girl who likes to do it 'her own self'. For example, when she asks for help putting on her pajamas, she really does not want you to do it for her. She wants you to watch. Tonight I helped her put on her pajama bottoms. I left the top for her. She put on the top. Then she took the bottoms off. Then she put the bottoms on again, but this time she did it her own self. I think they were just fine the first time. The problem was that I did it for her. Now she is brushing her teeth - her own self.

I've decided to read a book that is out of the ordinary for me. On the recommendation of my lovely wife, I'm starting to read "The Power and the Glory" by Graham Green, copyright 1940. It started a little slowly for me, but that's just chapter one. As I get into chapter two, it looks like this book has potential to keep my interest. I'll try to post my thoughts about it as I go (if I have any), or when I'm done.

My wife and I don't always have the same taste on the surface, but I've learned to trust her judgement. I don't often like the clothes she picks for me at first, but after a while I usually don't know how I ever lived without the ones she picks. I love that line in the movie, "As Good As It Gets" where Jack Nicholson says to Helen Hunt, "You make me want to be a better man." It sounds simple, maybe too simple, but it says a lot. Not only has my wife made me want to be a better man, I think she has made me a better man. She suggested it. That's why I'm reading this book, even though I can't remember that last time I read a novel. Heck, maybe that's another good reason to read it.

"Mariners right fielder Ichiro Suzuki needed only one pitch in his first at-bat Tuesday night to get his 3,000th career professional hit.

The hit was the 1,722nd hit of Ichiro's Major League career, which started in 2001, when he helped the Mariners win an American League record 116 games. He captured both the Rookie of the Year and Most Valuable Player honors that season, along with the first of his two league batting championships.

On Tuesday night, he became the first player to reach the 3,000-hit mark while splitting careers between two countries.

There currently are 27 members in MLB's 3,000-hit club, the most recent being former Astros star Craig Biggio, who reached the magical number last season."

Watch it here: http://seattle.mariners.mlb.com/media/video.jsp?mid=200807293219762&c_id=sea

"He who rebukes a man will find more favor afterward than he who flatters with the tongue."

"A man who flatters his neighbor spreads a net for his feet."

Proverbs 28:23 and 29:5

I ate a little ice cream before bedtime, so this post is particularly important. Boy do I feel guilty now. The following 'news' also comes on a day when I was talking to a coworker about eating habits. We concluded that many of us Americans are so used to excess when eating, that it seems normal. Maybe it's time for more self-control and exercise. Either that or more policies.

This is found at jhsph.edu.

"Most adults in the U.S. will be overweight or obese by 2030, with related health care spending projected to be as much as $956.9 billion, according to researchers at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health..."

"National survey data show that the prevalence of overweight and obese adults in the U.S. has increased steadily over the past three decades,” said Youfa Wang, MD, PhD, lead author of the study and associate professor with the Bloomberg School’s Center for Human Nutrition. “If these trends continue, more than 86 percent of adults will be overweight or obese by 2030 with approximately 96 percent of non-Hispanic black women and 91 percent of Mexican-American men affected. This would result in 1 of every 6 health care dollars spent in total direct health care costs paying for overweight and obesity-related costs."

"The authors warned that obesity has become a public health crisis in the U.S. Timely, dramatic and effective development and implementation of corrective programs and policies are needed to avoid the otherwise inevitable health and societal consequences implied by their projections."

Today I got about a dozen baseball cards in the mail from a guy that I've never met. He just sent me the cards he had and said that I can do the same if/when I get some of the cards on his list. No counting. No comparing values. Just take what you need. I can't think of a better deal. He also had some older (late 80's) cards on his list, so I sent some of those to him.

I would like to collect the 2008 Topps baseball card set the old fashioned way this year- a pack or two at a time over the course of the season. In order to do this without spending too much money and ending up with a bunch of 'doubles' I need to find some fellow collectors (like this guy I mentioned) who we can trade with. I would prefer to find someone local, but the Internet will have to do for now.

I think this 'old fashioned' way goes against the individualistic tendency of our current culture. Collecting with friends and neighbors is the way I started this hobby as a kid. But a temptation is to simply buy the complete set from the factory. It can be done easily. Instant gratification, if that's the way you want it, and you can do it all by your own self. But I don't think buying is the same as collecting. The experience is totally different.

The 'buy it now' approach is what I had when I stopped collecting cards in the 1990s. It (and other things) led to my loss of interest in the hobby, and it led to excess. It turned into buying to have, rather than buying to enjoy. It is one reason that I have more cards now from the 1980s than I possibly know what to do with. I have boxes of cards that have never been enjoyed. I own a few complete sets that I have never even looked at. This seems very silly to me now.

So what can my kids and I learn from collecting baseball cards a few packs at a time? Patience - the season is long and unpredictable. Interdependence - we might do it without others, but why would we want to. Sharing - instead of hoarding, give your extra to people who can use it.

We spent a nice weekend in our hometown for my wife's high school reunion. After seeing some people for the first time in many years, I have lots of food for thought. It was fun. But one thing sticks on my mind the most. It's a simple feeling, not really based on anything that anyone did or said. It is this: I LOVE my wife.

The other day I went on a walk with my daughter. We decided to write a special story, just for fun. Here it is.

"One day E went out for a walk. She stopped and listened. She heard a woodpecker. She thought she herd a big peck and then a low peck. She walked a little farther, and stopped again. She looked to the left. Then she looked to the right. There it was: a woodpecker.

She saw the woodpecker peck. That's what woodpeckers do. But this one was special. It was small. It looked like a baby one. Then E stopped and sat down. She kept quiet. She didn't want to scare the woodpecker. If it got scared, it might fly away.

Then she heard another woodpecker. Two were calling to each other by pecking. She heard big pecks. The woodpeckers were looking for something. They were looking for each other. It was quite for a few minutes, then the little woodpecker flew away. It went to his mom.

E went home happy. She was happy because everything she saw was really fun."

I have enjoyed writing in this blog. I find that writing helps me to think. Sometimes I start out not knowing what to say, but I start anyway. Sometimes I start out saying one thing and end up realizing that I didn't think through the issue very clearly. Other times I plan to say one thing but end up at a slightly different place when I'm finished writing. I think this is a good habit to get into. One of the biggest challenges is to make time for it. I have never been able to keep a journal for more than a few days at a time, so this is a new record for me.

Another note for today is that I finally decided to get a webcam and sign up for Skype at work. It all started because we needed to connect to a professor who is in China at the moment. Once we got the webcam, the setup took less than 10 minutes and it was very very easy to use. I don't know why we waited to so long to try it. I think it will be a great tool for keeping in touch for work related meetings with people around the state and elsewhere. Good thing for me is that I don't even have to worry about how my hair looks on camera. You can't really see any.

I'm almost done reading October 1964. I've enjoyed reading this book. Here is another section that I read last night that stuck in my mind as I was thinking about our adoption decisions.

In 1964 the Phillies were the best team in their league, until the end of the season. Unfortunately for them, they had a losing streak of at least seven games. It cost them what they really wanted - the National League Pennant. One problem was that the manager asked their best pitchers to pitch too often, without a chance to rest their arms as they should between starts. The stars, Bunning and Short, pitched six different games on two days' rest, and the team lost all six games. The manager was really scrutinized during all of this. When the streak began, the Phillies had a big lead over other teams in the pennant race. The question became, "with a lead that big, why not concede a game or two, then come back with a rested pitcher and end the losing streak?" Short-term sacrifice; long-term gain.

Thirty years later Jim Bunning reflected on that experience. "Hindsight dictates that we should have been rested and then pitched. That's obvious to everyone now," he said. "But the emotions of the moment dictated that we try for it, that we go out there and pitch on two days of rest. To say no, to refuse the ball and say that you could no pitch on short rest, was to go against every impulse superior athletes have."

I guess I can relate almost anything to adoption this week, but this seems really relevant to the way my mind is working right now. I want to win the pennant. I want to be the manager who makes the right decisions for my team (heck, there are even nine of us now). I want to keep the long-term in view. I pray that in thirty years I'll be able to say that letting go of a few games now resulted in far more victories later - victories in games that we would not even have had the chance to play otherwise.

Today my wife told the adoption agency that we have decided to request one little boy (I'll call him N for now). This is very exciting, but at the same time I am sad. Two little three-year-old boys have been on our minds and hearts. To chose only one means that we are leaving the other. Soon we will rejoice, but I think we are grieving now because we wish we were able to take both. I felt similar when we couldn't pursue the first two children that we considered. Now my emotions still tell me two; but my mind tells me one, this time. I believe it is a wise decision for us, but it is a very hard one. We'll pray that little T gets a mother and father very soon. Maybe our adoption will encourage others to consider it too.

We have a picture frame with all of our children's pictures in it. This evening we added a picture of N! We were told that unless something totally unforeseen happens, N will be ours. The referral becomes official in a week or so when we sign the papers to accept him. Another big day in the story of our first adoption.

Many heavy thoughts were on my mind today, but this post is about a simple little something. This evening I was having a heck of a time getting my youngest daughter to stay in bed and be calm. She was upset and discontent. Nothing seemed to be going her way, and she wasn't shy about letting me know of her dissatisfaction with bedtime. So I decided to just sit with her on my lap in the living room - just her and me.

She proceeded to talk my ear off. Even though I didn't really understand every word my three year old had to say, I got most of it. I think it was the same story at least four times; it included grandma and gum. She must not have reached her word quota for the day until we sat down. After this long, one sided chat I put her back in her bed. She stayed there without a peep and went fast to sleep. I guess she had a lot on her mind too and just needed someone to listen.

"The Cardinals were on their bus, and McCarver sat sipping an orange soda. 'That looks really good, ' said Gibson as he went by him on the bus. 'Can I have a swig?' Gibson knew, of course, that a young Southern white boy's mind was filled with ideas that black people carried more and different germs and yet he knew McCarver would be afraid of angering an important pitcher on a team he had not yet made. McCarver, who had never shared anything with a black man, let alone something as intimate as a soft drink, looked at the bottle of orange soda, and then at the deadly serious face of Bob Gibson, and mumbled something. 'What was that?' Gibson asked, as if he could not hear. 'I'll save you some,' McCarver said. Gibby was just checking him out, McCarver realized later."

"There was also the time McCarver was about to leave the locker room when he noticed a black man waiting for Gibson. He went back in to tell the pitcher, 'There's a colored guy waiting for you. He says he's got a date with you.' 'Oh,' said Gibson, 'which color is he?' It was, McCarver came to understand, Gibson pushing him to be a better man and therefore a better friend as well." p 221

"Gibson once asked, 'do you know how a white boy shakes hands with a Negro?' McCarver said that he did not. So Gibson trotted out Curt Flood as his straight man, and they shook hands - Gibson the white boy, Flood the black. Afterward Gibson looked down at his hand a little self-consciously and wiped it against his pants. 'You've done it before, haven't you, Tim?' Gibson asked, and McCarver thought to himself, Goddamn, he's right, and he admitted that he had done it before. The more Gibson teased McCarver, the more secure their friendship became."
pg 222

October 1964

"Then [Johnny] Sain told him his own highly idiosyncratic philosophy of how the body behaves, that the body was all about memory: 'It wants to do today what id did in the last few days. If you've run a lot in recent weeks, it wants to run today. If you've been throwing hard, it wants to throw hard. If you've been sitting down and doing nothing, it wants to sit down and do nothing.'"

pg. 213 October 1964

Earlier I wrote some thoughts about stopping contentions. That's well and true, but how can I put that into practice? Proverbs doesn't leave me stranded; I just had to read a little more to get an example.

"Casting lots causes contentions to cease, and keeps the mighty apart."

This sounds simple enough: cast lots, draw straws. What does this do? It settles a dispute. It brings a decisive decision into the midst of different opinions. It sets the rules. This was the principle that helped when our kids were playing baseball with their cousins last week. I mentioned that story already. We cast lots in a sense - a decision made primarily for the sake of making one. After that, they decided to happily bat in the divine birth order.

Today turned out to be more significant than I expected. I had no idea that the adoption agency would call today and say that we can ask for a child to be 'held' for us whenever we are ready. I didn't think they would even see our homestudy until next week. I haven't even seen a copy. This is not theory anymore. It all seems very real when you are told that someone is ready for your decision.

We were again strongly encouraged not to adopt older boys since we still have young children at home. So we are shifting gears toward 3 and 4 year old boys again. In the very near future we should be able to tell people exactly who we plan to adopt. After watching, and watching, and re-watching a video of waiting children, our kids are even making their preferences known.

For me the big decision seems to be whether to adopt just one, or to adopt two at the same time. Tonight I'm reminded of a sermon we heard some time ago about decisions. Sometimes the 'big' decisions in life are not so 'big' after all. Sometimes a small decision to cross the street or drive on the highway can change a person's life in the blink of an eye. These small decisions can be 'big' decisions, but we don't give them a second thought. The take home message for me is to trust God.

I'm thinking that we need to go into this with our eyes open, but remembering that, "A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." and likewise, "There are many plans in a man's heart. Nevertheless the Lord's counsel - that will stand." Do I have this kind of faith? Maybe. Tonight I'm inclined to ask for two children and to accept whatever stands.

We attended a picnic this evening with other families in our area who have adopted or are in the process of adopting children from Ethiopia. It was a great turnout, and really good to meet other families with similar interests. At one point some Dads with larger families who have a year or more of experience as adoptive parents gave their advice. For me, this is a keeper because I will need to remember it and practice it.

Here is the advice in my own words. Don't allow myself to overlook that fact that my other children will also still need my attention. If they don't get enough, I may start to see signs that they are struggling to adjust. Don't wait for that to happen. Be proactive to prevent frustration before it becomes obvious. Because the adopted children are generally the most needy at first, they can easily take my full attention and then some, particularly during the first months when everyone is trying to adjust. It would be wise to have some kind of routine or system to ensure that everyone has special time with Dad.

One idea that has seemed to help some is to set aside special days for each child - like the day of the month on which they were born. So for example, every 11th day of the month could be a day that my daughter looks forward to for a little extra attention from me. Other ideas like this can be used more frequently.

Regularly setting aside special time is something that I am aware of, but it's not something that I have been good at practicing. It seems much too easy to let my schedule and other events get in the way. I think I will need to make an extra effort to spend some individual time with each of my kids, particularly the middle and older ones. I need to do it sooner rather than later. Adoption is a mind consuming process even now, so now is a great time to make sure that my kids know that I love them just as much as ever.

I have not felt like writing lately. I'm not sure why. When I feel like I should only write down things that are interesting and profound, things that others would like to read, then I'm less likely to write. So here I am reminding myself of some reasons for starting this blog.

When I'm not feeling wise, I like to turn to the wisdom book. Here is a good reminder that I need to be proactive when it comes to stopping contentions.

"The beginning of strife is like releasing water; Therefore stop contention before a quarrel starts" - Proverbs 17:14

Most people know exactly what it's like to release water. Even the kids know this because they love to play with water in the yard and at the beach. Water is much, much easier to control while it is contained, but let it start leaking out of it's holding pond and it just gets harder and harder to stop. Pretty soon it flows faster and faster. Trying to stop it then gets really messy. By the time you do patch the dam to stop it, it has eroded a channel in the dirt is turned everything downstream into mud. And the impact generally gets wider as you go downstream.

It sounds a lot like the old ounce of prevention that's worth a pound of cure. But saying it is easy; the challenge is doing it. Stop contention before....

My father-in-law was here this weekend. After watching the movie, The Pursuit of Happyness, he was telling us about a book he read that was written by an older man. The man concluded that people need three things in life to be happy.

• Meaningful work to do
• Someone to love
• Something to look forward to

Now I'm sure these do not cover all the bases, but it was fun to think about the times in life when we felt the happiest or unhappiest and then judge the time by these three things. It's a good thought experiment.

I want to write this down because it's a reminder that I too often forget by Monday morning.

Our kids sit with us in church on Sunday's, from the youngest to the oldest. Sometimes they all do well, but other days the younger ones - particularly the three and five year olds - have a rough time sitting still. That's understandable to some extent, but it's not sitting that I'm thinking about. It's sinning. Yes, sinning in church.

It's easy to be tempted to frustration on a Sunday when the little ones are not behaving well. But I recall on those days that what I watch is really a snapshot of the sins that my kids have been struggling with the week before. It's not that they are different on Sunday; rather, they tend to be themselves. The things I see from my little ones on Sunday are the things that I need to be working on with them during the week. For example, the sins of coveting or lack of self control. It can be hard to imagine why, but my youngest will whine, fuss, and get angry when she can't have the bulletin that she wants. Heaven forbid if someone else touches it. Never mind that I am offering her one exactly like it. For some reason she wants the one that someone else has. Or as other examples: pouting, slow to obey, disobedience when they think I'm not looking, etc. More subtle tendencies come out too. Some always go for the largest piece of bread, others for a more modest piece. I'm sure I could think of other examples.

These are not Sunday sins. They are simply the temptations, sins, and tendencies that my little ones are struggling with at this time in their lives. It reminds me of the sins for which we need to repent, and the ones for which we need to apply diligent discipline.

So, Sundays tell me something about me and my children. I also see some of my my older children diligently following along with the liturgy. Some take notes and can't wait to tell me what they learned when we get in the car after church. Some work very hard to find the right page in the song book and hold it for me (it's very sweet, even though I have a hard time reading it when the book wiggles so much). Others are raising their hands at the right time and others saying "amen" along with the congregation. They are all at different stages in their spiritual lives.

Sunday is a good day for me to be reminded of where we are spiritually. That's a blessing that I need regularly.

We recently gave four of our littler kids a dollar each so that they could go shopping with Dad. It was their allowance for the week. My wife also decided to give an extra quarter to cover sales tax for each of their $1 purchases.

When we got into the car we had a short discussion about taxes. My eight year old looked at me and said, "I thought we were free of taxes." I guess I didn't really know what he was thinking, so I started to explain that sales tax in Idaho is 6%. His response?

"What about the war for Independence?"

It's interesting to see how a person can be stifled under one management style but thrive under another. The transition of Lou Brock, one of MLB's all-time stolen base leaders, from the Cubs to the Cardinals in 1964, is a great example.

For one thing, Lou was never "set loose as a base runner" in Chicago. The coach-manager system of the Cubs didn't create an atmosphere in which Brock could relax as a player. And when the Cubs lost, apparently everyone sat around pondering the game afterward, "making each defeat all the heavier." However, for the Cardinals the feelings of defeat didn't last long - particularly with funny men like Bob Uecker. In addition, the manager (Johnny Keane) seemed to know what Brock needed. He told him that they didn't care how he hit the ball as long as he hit it; "Be as natural as you can, " he was told. And as for stealing bases, Brock was told, "Well, go for it when it strikes you as right..you make the call." On the Cubs there had been all kinds of rules and conditions about when Lou could attempt a steal, and had he failed his mistake would have been scrutinized and 'corrected'. "Now this very talented player was told to trust his instincts." Lou was one of he fastest guys in baseball. History tells us that this was a great thing for Lou Brock and the Cardinals.

What a great reminder. This little story can be helpful at home and work. How do we manage our employees? Do we recognize their talents and create a place where they can do their best work. Do we truly recognize our children's strengths and weaknesses and find the right ways to let them grow and use those talents? Do we over analyze our children's mistakes and make them re-live them too much, or are we willing to make a joke sometimes and let them learn from it while still moving forward?

Quotes from, "October 1964", by David Halberstam.

Today is my daughter's tenth birthday. I still remember the day, at least three parts of it. 1) We went to Chataqua, an annual fair near our hometown, and my wife was having contractions while we were there. She was getting anxious to leave for home, but I tried to get in a last ride on the Ferris wheel with the kids. Well, wouldn't you know it the Ferris wheel stopped for much longer than normal and we got stuck on top for a while. 2) My mother-in-law was with us, and we decided to order pizza before we took my wife to the hospital. We didn't want to get stuck at the hospital without anything to eat. I guess we thought we learned that lesson from a previous birth. 3) It was getting late (about 11:55 p.m.) and our daughter was almost here, but not quite. I remember hoping that she would come soon. It would be so easy to remember a birth date like 7 - 11! Although I had my doubts, she made it on 7 -11 with a couple of minute to spare. Those are my three main memories of this day on 1998. It sounds a little quirky, but that's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

Last evening my wife and I attended a fundraising event for our friends who will soon be traveling to Ethiopia to pick up their new daughter - their fourth adopted child in some sixteen months I think. I really enjoyed hearing about the reasons that some people chose to adopt. One benefit mentioned yesterday is that adoption connects you in a real way to people and places in a way that you would have never known. For example, connections to the children's relatives and to Ethiopia. It also connects us to the future.

I've been thinking about issues of race this week, particularly after reading a book about baseball in the 1960's and the movie The Great Debaters. It's difficult for me to relate to how people have treated each other so poorly in the past. I love the fact that my kids of similar age are becoming close friends with the newly adopted children in our community. I don't think that they realize it yet, but these friendships are expanding their connections and perceptions far beyond those of my childhood.

When I think of what I will leave behind me on this earth, I obviously think of my children. Soon that number could be as high as nine. Lord willing, my children will have, not only friends, but brothers from Africa. If my kids have the U.S. average of two children each, that would be 18 grandchildren, then 36 great grandchildren, then 72 great-great grandchildren, and so on. So what will I be leaving because of adoption that I might not have left otherwise? Not just numbers. I hope I'll be leaving great-great grandchildren who couldn't care less about the color of someones skin. They will see brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, cousins and nephews. I'll be leaving descendants who are a little bit more like Christ. And this, I think, will leave the world a little better than I found it.

"There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus." - Galatians 3:28

"The test of our spirituality comes when we come up against injustice and meanness and ingratitude and turmoil..." - Oswald Chambers

A few months ago I took some of my old baseball cards out of their binder and put them in a picture frame for cards. It's much easier to see them that way. I think I remember my wife making a comment about one of them - a 1963 Stan Musial - something like, "who is that; I've never heard of him." Well, here is something interesting from a 50 cent yard-sale book that my sister-in-law brought over this week. It's called, "October 1964." It's about baseball. There is some interesting history in chapter 5, including a blurb about Stan Musial.

"Yet, more than most teams, the Cardinal players came to deal with race with a degree of maturity and honesty rarely seen in baseball at that time." It mentions how some of the traditions of segregation were broken. Fore example, there was "...resentment over segregating white and black players in separate living facilities - the whites staying at the best local hotels, the blacks forced to stay as boarders with black families in the black section of town." Finally, a wealthy friend of the team owner bought a motel, and the Cardinals leased it and rented some rooms in an adjoining one so that, "the entire team and their families could stay together." Here was the "...rarest of sights: white and black children swimming in the motel pool together, and white and black players, with their wives, at desegregated cookouts. That helped bring the team together."

"Even Stan Musial, who had both the right, as a senior star, and the money to rent a house for his family during spring training - something he had looked forward to in the past - stayed at the motel and was part of the team. That made a great difference, for Musial was not only one of the two or three greatest players of his era, he was one of the most beloved as well: he seemed to live in a world without malice or meanness, where there was no prejudice, and where everyone was judged on talent alone."

I have the day off, and I just returned from a brisk game of back-yard baseball with some of my younger kids and their cousins. With a large family, there are almost always enough of us at any given time for a game of baseball in some form or another.

Every time I play this game with my kids I think of what a good opportunity sports give us to teach little lessons that will serve them well in life. However I have to admit that we don't play as often as I would like. Games give them an opportunity to experience the thrill of success and the agony of defeat. Their physical abilities don't always match up to their own expectations. Striking out or even just getting thrown out is no fun for anyone, but it's particularly hard for a competitive five year old who hates to lose and who still needs to work on self-control.

Even taking turns can be a challenge if you let the kids reorganize the batting order when they feel like it; someone always gets the short end of the bat when that happens. Here is the reminder for parents. Games like baseball have relatively simple rules - just like the life of a child should be guarded and shaped by some relatively simple rules. It's fun to watch the kids mature within the rules of the game. The rules need to consider the frame of the children and they need to be consistently applied. The kids appreciate predictability. And they appreciate having a chance to make it safely to first base now and then. Positive changes in attitude can sometimes be seen within an hour. It feels like it takes longer to see results in 'real life', but that's probably more a result of my own inconsistency than it is their response to the rules of the game.

It takes much more than a morning of baseball to build the character that I want our children to have, but it's a fun way to work on it. I also gained a few words of wisdom today. After one particularly hard earned out at first base, the runner was a little discouraged. But a wiser five-year old offered this comfort: "When you get more gooder; you'll get more better."

Play ball!

I found the next thing to put on my not-to-do list. It found me, more than I found it.

"Fussing always ends in sin. We imagine that a little anxiety and worry are an indication of how really wise we are; it is much more an indication of how really wicked we are. ...Have you been bolstering up that stupid soul of yours with the idea that your circumstances are too much for God? Put all 'supposing' on one side and dwell in the shadow of the Almighty. Deliberately tell God that you will not fret about that thing. All our fret and worry is caused by calculating without God. - Oswald Chambers

One of the things I remember from reading a work-related book some time ago was that people should have a "not-to-do list." Obviously this is the opposite of the normal "to-do list" that many of us keep. I have a to do-list at work, but I have never made a "not-to-do list." Frankly, I think it's much harder to make a list of things not to do. I think the point of such a list has to do with efficiency. We all do some things that are a waste of time and energy - or at least our time could be better spent on something else. It's supposed to help you focus and reduce distractions. For example, don't check email first thing in the morning, or don't answer unrecognized phone calls, or don't let people ramble.... It's easy to find a not-to-do list on the Internet of things that other people suggest. But I might first list, "searching the Internet in order to find out what I think should be on my not-to-do list."

Well, it's the end of June and we reached a small milestone with our adoption paperwork today. Our home visits are complete. We are just waiting a few more weeks for the final homestudy report. Today we plowed through our checklist again and completed that last two items that needed to be notarized for our dossier. It took two separate trips to a notary, but they are done. I also completed my adoption training and took the online tests this weekend. It feels good to finish the paperwork that depends on us. Now it looks like we'll be in a bit of a holding pattern for the next two or three weeks. What a good time to enjoy Independence Day, birthdays, picnics, and class reunions.

What are the two things that you can be sure to hear on the news every day - at least on the radio? I think one is the weather forecast, and the other is the state of the stock market.

The stock market thing seems particularly counterproductive. What does this say about us? Is it like that in other countries? Several times a day you will hear if the Dow Jones is up or down. Stocks are trading higher; no wait, now they're lower. The Dow is up 2 points; The Dow is up 130 points. Does the listener really care? Aren't' the people who are really really interested in minute-by-minute reports already tracking that? Every investment person I can think of tells people to think long-term. "Don't worry about short-term fluctuations," they say. Then every time you hear the news he gets poked in the eye with constant stock market reports. Perhaps people really want to know; otherwise I would think that news stations would use the time for things more appealing to their audience (at least the ones that want to keep an audience). This seems like one sign that our society is generally obsessed with money; perhaps this is obvious. The contradiction should also be obvious.

So then, what does the need for frequent weather forecasts say about us??

I was reminded this Sunday that Jesus messes with our categories. The Pharisees of his time were very concerned about being righteous and keeping themselves from being defiled - not only by keeping the commandments in the law but by adding to them. They came up with things that looked pious but were actually disobedient. This is a common temptation. I sometimes notice my kids doing what they think is a better version of obedience, when in fact they are disobeying a simple command. I'm sure I could think of times when I have done the same.

Christ didn't tell the Pharisees that they didn't need to be pure. He explained the deeper meaning of the purity laws. He explained that it's not the things we touch and eat that we should be worried about. Rather, defilement comes from inside the heart - evil thoughts, etc. Interestingly what comes out of our mouths reveals what's in the heart. So, what comes out is much more important that what goes in.

This topic of defilement was also a reminder that Jesus - who was the fulfilment of the law - spent time doing things that were repulsive to the Pharisees. He touched lepers, dead bodies, sinners, and people who were considered unclean. He brought healing, life, and cleansing. He brought hope to the outcast. He did not avoid people who were shunned. He touched the untouchables. Aren't we called to be like Christ?

"Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good; Blessed is the man who trusts in Him! Oh, fear the Lord, you his saints! There is no want to those who fear Him. The young lions lack and suffer hunger; but those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing." v 8-10

I want to jot down my thoughts about this topic so that I can look back later and see if my feelings have changed. I completely agree with my wife's post "Eenie, Meenie, Minee, Mo." I find this process of 'deciding' much more difficult than I expected. I'm not one to easily attach to children who are not mine yet. I started this adoption journey with two siblings in mind based on little more than a picture. None of the children know that we have been considering them.

Surely I feel a sense of responsibility about the outcome of this decision to adopt on my family. I'm trying hard to listen to the advice of those with more experience and wisdom than I have. I'm trying to look at the simple facts about the ages and personalities of our children and hoping to find an adopted child or children who will 'fit right in' as much as possible. I know that there will be difficult adjustments for any older child in the eight to ten year old range (I can only imagine what it would be like for them). At the end of the day, I also believe that God has known for quite some time how this will all turn out - and I trust Him. We are currently leaning toward a few specific children; children who are not the same ones that I started out with in mind. For a number of reasons, my initial choice (if given one) seems to be one that would likely be more difficult to adjust to because of age and gender 'fit' with my family. So in the past few days my reason has made me think that some specific other children may very well be best for us.

Today I was thinking about what it might be like to travel to Ethiopia to meet our new children, to spend time at the orphanage with them and meet their friends. Then I realized that the children we currently have in mind are at the same orphanage as the children who I started this journey with; I was suddenly hit hard by the thought of meeting them. How could I possibly look them in the eyes and then leave them behind? It made me not want to go to that orphanage; not because I would not love other children, but because for some reason those children haven't left me. How could I leave them?