Obtineo

I've decided to read a book that is out of the ordinary for me. On the recommendation of my lovely wife, I'm starting to read "The Power and the Glory" by Graham Green, copyright 1940. It started a little slowly for me, but that's just chapter one. As I get into chapter two, it looks like this book has potential to keep my interest. I'll try to post my thoughts about it as I go (if I have any), or when I'm done.

My wife and I don't always have the same taste on the surface, but I've learned to trust her judgement. I don't often like the clothes she picks for me at first, but after a while I usually don't know how I ever lived without the ones she picks. I love that line in the movie, "As Good As It Gets" where Jack Nicholson says to Helen Hunt, "You make me want to be a better man." It sounds simple, maybe too simple, but it says a lot. Not only has my wife made me want to be a better man, I think she has made me a better man. She suggested it. That's why I'm reading this book, even though I can't remember that last time I read a novel. Heck, maybe that's another good reason to read it.

"Mariners right fielder Ichiro Suzuki needed only one pitch in his first at-bat Tuesday night to get his 3,000th career professional hit.

The hit was the 1,722nd hit of Ichiro's Major League career, which started in 2001, when he helped the Mariners win an American League record 116 games. He captured both the Rookie of the Year and Most Valuable Player honors that season, along with the first of his two league batting championships.

On Tuesday night, he became the first player to reach the 3,000-hit mark while splitting careers between two countries.

There currently are 27 members in MLB's 3,000-hit club, the most recent being former Astros star Craig Biggio, who reached the magical number last season."

Watch it here: http://seattle.mariners.mlb.com/media/video.jsp?mid=200807293219762&c_id=sea

"He who rebukes a man will find more favor afterward than he who flatters with the tongue."

"A man who flatters his neighbor spreads a net for his feet."

Proverbs 28:23 and 29:5

I ate a little ice cream before bedtime, so this post is particularly important. Boy do I feel guilty now. The following 'news' also comes on a day when I was talking to a coworker about eating habits. We concluded that many of us Americans are so used to excess when eating, that it seems normal. Maybe it's time for more self-control and exercise. Either that or more policies.

This is found at jhsph.edu.

"Most adults in the U.S. will be overweight or obese by 2030, with related health care spending projected to be as much as $956.9 billion, according to researchers at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health..."

"National survey data show that the prevalence of overweight and obese adults in the U.S. has increased steadily over the past three decades,” said Youfa Wang, MD, PhD, lead author of the study and associate professor with the Bloomberg School’s Center for Human Nutrition. “If these trends continue, more than 86 percent of adults will be overweight or obese by 2030 with approximately 96 percent of non-Hispanic black women and 91 percent of Mexican-American men affected. This would result in 1 of every 6 health care dollars spent in total direct health care costs paying for overweight and obesity-related costs."

"The authors warned that obesity has become a public health crisis in the U.S. Timely, dramatic and effective development and implementation of corrective programs and policies are needed to avoid the otherwise inevitable health and societal consequences implied by their projections."

Today I got about a dozen baseball cards in the mail from a guy that I've never met. He just sent me the cards he had and said that I can do the same if/when I get some of the cards on his list. No counting. No comparing values. Just take what you need. I can't think of a better deal. He also had some older (late 80's) cards on his list, so I sent some of those to him.

I would like to collect the 2008 Topps baseball card set the old fashioned way this year- a pack or two at a time over the course of the season. In order to do this without spending too much money and ending up with a bunch of 'doubles' I need to find some fellow collectors (like this guy I mentioned) who we can trade with. I would prefer to find someone local, but the Internet will have to do for now.

I think this 'old fashioned' way goes against the individualistic tendency of our current culture. Collecting with friends and neighbors is the way I started this hobby as a kid. But a temptation is to simply buy the complete set from the factory. It can be done easily. Instant gratification, if that's the way you want it, and you can do it all by your own self. But I don't think buying is the same as collecting. The experience is totally different.

The 'buy it now' approach is what I had when I stopped collecting cards in the 1990s. It (and other things) led to my loss of interest in the hobby, and it led to excess. It turned into buying to have, rather than buying to enjoy. It is one reason that I have more cards now from the 1980s than I possibly know what to do with. I have boxes of cards that have never been enjoyed. I own a few complete sets that I have never even looked at. This seems very silly to me now.

So what can my kids and I learn from collecting baseball cards a few packs at a time? Patience - the season is long and unpredictable. Interdependence - we might do it without others, but why would we want to. Sharing - instead of hoarding, give your extra to people who can use it.

We spent a nice weekend in our hometown for my wife's high school reunion. After seeing some people for the first time in many years, I have lots of food for thought. It was fun. But one thing sticks on my mind the most. It's a simple feeling, not really based on anything that anyone did or said. It is this: I LOVE my wife.

The other day I went on a walk with my daughter. We decided to write a special story, just for fun. Here it is.

"One day E went out for a walk. She stopped and listened. She heard a woodpecker. She thought she herd a big peck and then a low peck. She walked a little farther, and stopped again. She looked to the left. Then she looked to the right. There it was: a woodpecker.

She saw the woodpecker peck. That's what woodpeckers do. But this one was special. It was small. It looked like a baby one. Then E stopped and sat down. She kept quiet. She didn't want to scare the woodpecker. If it got scared, it might fly away.

Then she heard another woodpecker. Two were calling to each other by pecking. She heard big pecks. The woodpeckers were looking for something. They were looking for each other. It was quite for a few minutes, then the little woodpecker flew away. It went to his mom.

E went home happy. She was happy because everything she saw was really fun."

I have enjoyed writing in this blog. I find that writing helps me to think. Sometimes I start out not knowing what to say, but I start anyway. Sometimes I start out saying one thing and end up realizing that I didn't think through the issue very clearly. Other times I plan to say one thing but end up at a slightly different place when I'm finished writing. I think this is a good habit to get into. One of the biggest challenges is to make time for it. I have never been able to keep a journal for more than a few days at a time, so this is a new record for me.

Another note for today is that I finally decided to get a webcam and sign up for Skype at work. It all started because we needed to connect to a professor who is in China at the moment. Once we got the webcam, the setup took less than 10 minutes and it was very very easy to use. I don't know why we waited to so long to try it. I think it will be a great tool for keeping in touch for work related meetings with people around the state and elsewhere. Good thing for me is that I don't even have to worry about how my hair looks on camera. You can't really see any.

I'm almost done reading October 1964. I've enjoyed reading this book. Here is another section that I read last night that stuck in my mind as I was thinking about our adoption decisions.

In 1964 the Phillies were the best team in their league, until the end of the season. Unfortunately for them, they had a losing streak of at least seven games. It cost them what they really wanted - the National League Pennant. One problem was that the manager asked their best pitchers to pitch too often, without a chance to rest their arms as they should between starts. The stars, Bunning and Short, pitched six different games on two days' rest, and the team lost all six games. The manager was really scrutinized during all of this. When the streak began, the Phillies had a big lead over other teams in the pennant race. The question became, "with a lead that big, why not concede a game or two, then come back with a rested pitcher and end the losing streak?" Short-term sacrifice; long-term gain.

Thirty years later Jim Bunning reflected on that experience. "Hindsight dictates that we should have been rested and then pitched. That's obvious to everyone now," he said. "But the emotions of the moment dictated that we try for it, that we go out there and pitch on two days of rest. To say no, to refuse the ball and say that you could no pitch on short rest, was to go against every impulse superior athletes have."

I guess I can relate almost anything to adoption this week, but this seems really relevant to the way my mind is working right now. I want to win the pennant. I want to be the manager who makes the right decisions for my team (heck, there are even nine of us now). I want to keep the long-term in view. I pray that in thirty years I'll be able to say that letting go of a few games now resulted in far more victories later - victories in games that we would not even have had the chance to play otherwise.

Today my wife told the adoption agency that we have decided to request one little boy (I'll call him N for now). This is very exciting, but at the same time I am sad. Two little three-year-old boys have been on our minds and hearts. To chose only one means that we are leaving the other. Soon we will rejoice, but I think we are grieving now because we wish we were able to take both. I felt similar when we couldn't pursue the first two children that we considered. Now my emotions still tell me two; but my mind tells me one, this time. I believe it is a wise decision for us, but it is a very hard one. We'll pray that little T gets a mother and father very soon. Maybe our adoption will encourage others to consider it too.

We have a picture frame with all of our children's pictures in it. This evening we added a picture of N! We were told that unless something totally unforeseen happens, N will be ours. The referral becomes official in a week or so when we sign the papers to accept him. Another big day in the story of our first adoption.

Many heavy thoughts were on my mind today, but this post is about a simple little something. This evening I was having a heck of a time getting my youngest daughter to stay in bed and be calm. She was upset and discontent. Nothing seemed to be going her way, and she wasn't shy about letting me know of her dissatisfaction with bedtime. So I decided to just sit with her on my lap in the living room - just her and me.

She proceeded to talk my ear off. Even though I didn't really understand every word my three year old had to say, I got most of it. I think it was the same story at least four times; it included grandma and gum. She must not have reached her word quota for the day until we sat down. After this long, one sided chat I put her back in her bed. She stayed there without a peep and went fast to sleep. I guess she had a lot on her mind too and just needed someone to listen.

"The Cardinals were on their bus, and McCarver sat sipping an orange soda. 'That looks really good, ' said Gibson as he went by him on the bus. 'Can I have a swig?' Gibson knew, of course, that a young Southern white boy's mind was filled with ideas that black people carried more and different germs and yet he knew McCarver would be afraid of angering an important pitcher on a team he had not yet made. McCarver, who had never shared anything with a black man, let alone something as intimate as a soft drink, looked at the bottle of orange soda, and then at the deadly serious face of Bob Gibson, and mumbled something. 'What was that?' Gibson asked, as if he could not hear. 'I'll save you some,' McCarver said. Gibby was just checking him out, McCarver realized later."

"There was also the time McCarver was about to leave the locker room when he noticed a black man waiting for Gibson. He went back in to tell the pitcher, 'There's a colored guy waiting for you. He says he's got a date with you.' 'Oh,' said Gibson, 'which color is he?' It was, McCarver came to understand, Gibson pushing him to be a better man and therefore a better friend as well." p 221

"Gibson once asked, 'do you know how a white boy shakes hands with a Negro?' McCarver said that he did not. So Gibson trotted out Curt Flood as his straight man, and they shook hands - Gibson the white boy, Flood the black. Afterward Gibson looked down at his hand a little self-consciously and wiped it against his pants. 'You've done it before, haven't you, Tim?' Gibson asked, and McCarver thought to himself, Goddamn, he's right, and he admitted that he had done it before. The more Gibson teased McCarver, the more secure their friendship became."
pg 222

October 1964

"Then [Johnny] Sain told him his own highly idiosyncratic philosophy of how the body behaves, that the body was all about memory: 'It wants to do today what id did in the last few days. If you've run a lot in recent weeks, it wants to run today. If you've been throwing hard, it wants to throw hard. If you've been sitting down and doing nothing, it wants to sit down and do nothing.'"

pg. 213 October 1964

Earlier I wrote some thoughts about stopping contentions. That's well and true, but how can I put that into practice? Proverbs doesn't leave me stranded; I just had to read a little more to get an example.

"Casting lots causes contentions to cease, and keeps the mighty apart."

This sounds simple enough: cast lots, draw straws. What does this do? It settles a dispute. It brings a decisive decision into the midst of different opinions. It sets the rules. This was the principle that helped when our kids were playing baseball with their cousins last week. I mentioned that story already. We cast lots in a sense - a decision made primarily for the sake of making one. After that, they decided to happily bat in the divine birth order.

Today turned out to be more significant than I expected. I had no idea that the adoption agency would call today and say that we can ask for a child to be 'held' for us whenever we are ready. I didn't think they would even see our homestudy until next week. I haven't even seen a copy. This is not theory anymore. It all seems very real when you are told that someone is ready for your decision.

We were again strongly encouraged not to adopt older boys since we still have young children at home. So we are shifting gears toward 3 and 4 year old boys again. In the very near future we should be able to tell people exactly who we plan to adopt. After watching, and watching, and re-watching a video of waiting children, our kids are even making their preferences known.

For me the big decision seems to be whether to adopt just one, or to adopt two at the same time. Tonight I'm reminded of a sermon we heard some time ago about decisions. Sometimes the 'big' decisions in life are not so 'big' after all. Sometimes a small decision to cross the street or drive on the highway can change a person's life in the blink of an eye. These small decisions can be 'big' decisions, but we don't give them a second thought. The take home message for me is to trust God.

I'm thinking that we need to go into this with our eyes open, but remembering that, "A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." and likewise, "There are many plans in a man's heart. Nevertheless the Lord's counsel - that will stand." Do I have this kind of faith? Maybe. Tonight I'm inclined to ask for two children and to accept whatever stands.

We attended a picnic this evening with other families in our area who have adopted or are in the process of adopting children from Ethiopia. It was a great turnout, and really good to meet other families with similar interests. At one point some Dads with larger families who have a year or more of experience as adoptive parents gave their advice. For me, this is a keeper because I will need to remember it and practice it.

Here is the advice in my own words. Don't allow myself to overlook that fact that my other children will also still need my attention. If they don't get enough, I may start to see signs that they are struggling to adjust. Don't wait for that to happen. Be proactive to prevent frustration before it becomes obvious. Because the adopted children are generally the most needy at first, they can easily take my full attention and then some, particularly during the first months when everyone is trying to adjust. It would be wise to have some kind of routine or system to ensure that everyone has special time with Dad.

One idea that has seemed to help some is to set aside special days for each child - like the day of the month on which they were born. So for example, every 11th day of the month could be a day that my daughter looks forward to for a little extra attention from me. Other ideas like this can be used more frequently.

Regularly setting aside special time is something that I am aware of, but it's not something that I have been good at practicing. It seems much too easy to let my schedule and other events get in the way. I think I will need to make an extra effort to spend some individual time with each of my kids, particularly the middle and older ones. I need to do it sooner rather than later. Adoption is a mind consuming process even now, so now is a great time to make sure that my kids know that I love them just as much as ever.

I have not felt like writing lately. I'm not sure why. When I feel like I should only write down things that are interesting and profound, things that others would like to read, then I'm less likely to write. So here I am reminding myself of some reasons for starting this blog.

When I'm not feeling wise, I like to turn to the wisdom book. Here is a good reminder that I need to be proactive when it comes to stopping contentions.

"The beginning of strife is like releasing water; Therefore stop contention before a quarrel starts" - Proverbs 17:14

Most people know exactly what it's like to release water. Even the kids know this because they love to play with water in the yard and at the beach. Water is much, much easier to control while it is contained, but let it start leaking out of it's holding pond and it just gets harder and harder to stop. Pretty soon it flows faster and faster. Trying to stop it then gets really messy. By the time you do patch the dam to stop it, it has eroded a channel in the dirt is turned everything downstream into mud. And the impact generally gets wider as you go downstream.

It sounds a lot like the old ounce of prevention that's worth a pound of cure. But saying it is easy; the challenge is doing it. Stop contention before....

My father-in-law was here this weekend. After watching the movie, The Pursuit of Happyness, he was telling us about a book he read that was written by an older man. The man concluded that people need three things in life to be happy.

• Meaningful work to do
• Someone to love
• Something to look forward to

Now I'm sure these do not cover all the bases, but it was fun to think about the times in life when we felt the happiest or unhappiest and then judge the time by these three things. It's a good thought experiment.

I want to write this down because it's a reminder that I too often forget by Monday morning.

Our kids sit with us in church on Sunday's, from the youngest to the oldest. Sometimes they all do well, but other days the younger ones - particularly the three and five year olds - have a rough time sitting still. That's understandable to some extent, but it's not sitting that I'm thinking about. It's sinning. Yes, sinning in church.

It's easy to be tempted to frustration on a Sunday when the little ones are not behaving well. But I recall on those days that what I watch is really a snapshot of the sins that my kids have been struggling with the week before. It's not that they are different on Sunday; rather, they tend to be themselves. The things I see from my little ones on Sunday are the things that I need to be working on with them during the week. For example, the sins of coveting or lack of self control. It can be hard to imagine why, but my youngest will whine, fuss, and get angry when she can't have the bulletin that she wants. Heaven forbid if someone else touches it. Never mind that I am offering her one exactly like it. For some reason she wants the one that someone else has. Or as other examples: pouting, slow to obey, disobedience when they think I'm not looking, etc. More subtle tendencies come out too. Some always go for the largest piece of bread, others for a more modest piece. I'm sure I could think of other examples.

These are not Sunday sins. They are simply the temptations, sins, and tendencies that my little ones are struggling with at this time in their lives. It reminds me of the sins for which we need to repent, and the ones for which we need to apply diligent discipline.

So, Sundays tell me something about me and my children. I also see some of my my older children diligently following along with the liturgy. Some take notes and can't wait to tell me what they learned when we get in the car after church. Some work very hard to find the right page in the song book and hold it for me (it's very sweet, even though I have a hard time reading it when the book wiggles so much). Others are raising their hands at the right time and others saying "amen" along with the congregation. They are all at different stages in their spiritual lives.

Sunday is a good day for me to be reminded of where we are spiritually. That's a blessing that I need regularly.

We recently gave four of our littler kids a dollar each so that they could go shopping with Dad. It was their allowance for the week. My wife also decided to give an extra quarter to cover sales tax for each of their $1 purchases.

When we got into the car we had a short discussion about taxes. My eight year old looked at me and said, "I thought we were free of taxes." I guess I didn't really know what he was thinking, so I started to explain that sales tax in Idaho is 6%. His response?

"What about the war for Independence?"

It's interesting to see how a person can be stifled under one management style but thrive under another. The transition of Lou Brock, one of MLB's all-time stolen base leaders, from the Cubs to the Cardinals in 1964, is a great example.

For one thing, Lou was never "set loose as a base runner" in Chicago. The coach-manager system of the Cubs didn't create an atmosphere in which Brock could relax as a player. And when the Cubs lost, apparently everyone sat around pondering the game afterward, "making each defeat all the heavier." However, for the Cardinals the feelings of defeat didn't last long - particularly with funny men like Bob Uecker. In addition, the manager (Johnny Keane) seemed to know what Brock needed. He told him that they didn't care how he hit the ball as long as he hit it; "Be as natural as you can, " he was told. And as for stealing bases, Brock was told, "Well, go for it when it strikes you as right..you make the call." On the Cubs there had been all kinds of rules and conditions about when Lou could attempt a steal, and had he failed his mistake would have been scrutinized and 'corrected'. "Now this very talented player was told to trust his instincts." Lou was one of he fastest guys in baseball. History tells us that this was a great thing for Lou Brock and the Cardinals.

What a great reminder. This little story can be helpful at home and work. How do we manage our employees? Do we recognize their talents and create a place where they can do their best work. Do we truly recognize our children's strengths and weaknesses and find the right ways to let them grow and use those talents? Do we over analyze our children's mistakes and make them re-live them too much, or are we willing to make a joke sometimes and let them learn from it while still moving forward?

Quotes from, "October 1964", by David Halberstam.

Today is my daughter's tenth birthday. I still remember the day, at least three parts of it. 1) We went to Chataqua, an annual fair near our hometown, and my wife was having contractions while we were there. She was getting anxious to leave for home, but I tried to get in a last ride on the Ferris wheel with the kids. Well, wouldn't you know it the Ferris wheel stopped for much longer than normal and we got stuck on top for a while. 2) My mother-in-law was with us, and we decided to order pizza before we took my wife to the hospital. We didn't want to get stuck at the hospital without anything to eat. I guess we thought we learned that lesson from a previous birth. 3) It was getting late (about 11:55 p.m.) and our daughter was almost here, but not quite. I remember hoping that she would come soon. It would be so easy to remember a birth date like 7 - 11! Although I had my doubts, she made it on 7 -11 with a couple of minute to spare. Those are my three main memories of this day on 1998. It sounds a little quirky, but that's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

Last evening my wife and I attended a fundraising event for our friends who will soon be traveling to Ethiopia to pick up their new daughter - their fourth adopted child in some sixteen months I think. I really enjoyed hearing about the reasons that some people chose to adopt. One benefit mentioned yesterday is that adoption connects you in a real way to people and places in a way that you would have never known. For example, connections to the children's relatives and to Ethiopia. It also connects us to the future.

I've been thinking about issues of race this week, particularly after reading a book about baseball in the 1960's and the movie The Great Debaters. It's difficult for me to relate to how people have treated each other so poorly in the past. I love the fact that my kids of similar age are becoming close friends with the newly adopted children in our community. I don't think that they realize it yet, but these friendships are expanding their connections and perceptions far beyond those of my childhood.

When I think of what I will leave behind me on this earth, I obviously think of my children. Soon that number could be as high as nine. Lord willing, my children will have, not only friends, but brothers from Africa. If my kids have the U.S. average of two children each, that would be 18 grandchildren, then 36 great grandchildren, then 72 great-great grandchildren, and so on. So what will I be leaving because of adoption that I might not have left otherwise? Not just numbers. I hope I'll be leaving great-great grandchildren who couldn't care less about the color of someones skin. They will see brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, cousins and nephews. I'll be leaving descendants who are a little bit more like Christ. And this, I think, will leave the world a little better than I found it.

"There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus." - Galatians 3:28

"The test of our spirituality comes when we come up against injustice and meanness and ingratitude and turmoil..." - Oswald Chambers

A few months ago I took some of my old baseball cards out of their binder and put them in a picture frame for cards. It's much easier to see them that way. I think I remember my wife making a comment about one of them - a 1963 Stan Musial - something like, "who is that; I've never heard of him." Well, here is something interesting from a 50 cent yard-sale book that my sister-in-law brought over this week. It's called, "October 1964." It's about baseball. There is some interesting history in chapter 5, including a blurb about Stan Musial.

"Yet, more than most teams, the Cardinal players came to deal with race with a degree of maturity and honesty rarely seen in baseball at that time." It mentions how some of the traditions of segregation were broken. Fore example, there was "...resentment over segregating white and black players in separate living facilities - the whites staying at the best local hotels, the blacks forced to stay as boarders with black families in the black section of town." Finally, a wealthy friend of the team owner bought a motel, and the Cardinals leased it and rented some rooms in an adjoining one so that, "the entire team and their families could stay together." Here was the "...rarest of sights: white and black children swimming in the motel pool together, and white and black players, with their wives, at desegregated cookouts. That helped bring the team together."

"Even Stan Musial, who had both the right, as a senior star, and the money to rent a house for his family during spring training - something he had looked forward to in the past - stayed at the motel and was part of the team. That made a great difference, for Musial was not only one of the two or three greatest players of his era, he was one of the most beloved as well: he seemed to live in a world without malice or meanness, where there was no prejudice, and where everyone was judged on talent alone."

I have the day off, and I just returned from a brisk game of back-yard baseball with some of my younger kids and their cousins. With a large family, there are almost always enough of us at any given time for a game of baseball in some form or another.

Every time I play this game with my kids I think of what a good opportunity sports give us to teach little lessons that will serve them well in life. However I have to admit that we don't play as often as I would like. Games give them an opportunity to experience the thrill of success and the agony of defeat. Their physical abilities don't always match up to their own expectations. Striking out or even just getting thrown out is no fun for anyone, but it's particularly hard for a competitive five year old who hates to lose and who still needs to work on self-control.

Even taking turns can be a challenge if you let the kids reorganize the batting order when they feel like it; someone always gets the short end of the bat when that happens. Here is the reminder for parents. Games like baseball have relatively simple rules - just like the life of a child should be guarded and shaped by some relatively simple rules. It's fun to watch the kids mature within the rules of the game. The rules need to consider the frame of the children and they need to be consistently applied. The kids appreciate predictability. And they appreciate having a chance to make it safely to first base now and then. Positive changes in attitude can sometimes be seen within an hour. It feels like it takes longer to see results in 'real life', but that's probably more a result of my own inconsistency than it is their response to the rules of the game.

It takes much more than a morning of baseball to build the character that I want our children to have, but it's a fun way to work on it. I also gained a few words of wisdom today. After one particularly hard earned out at first base, the runner was a little discouraged. But a wiser five-year old offered this comfort: "When you get more gooder; you'll get more better."

Play ball!

I found the next thing to put on my not-to-do list. It found me, more than I found it.

"Fussing always ends in sin. We imagine that a little anxiety and worry are an indication of how really wise we are; it is much more an indication of how really wicked we are. ...Have you been bolstering up that stupid soul of yours with the idea that your circumstances are too much for God? Put all 'supposing' on one side and dwell in the shadow of the Almighty. Deliberately tell God that you will not fret about that thing. All our fret and worry is caused by calculating without God. - Oswald Chambers

One of the things I remember from reading a work-related book some time ago was that people should have a "not-to-do list." Obviously this is the opposite of the normal "to-do list" that many of us keep. I have a to do-list at work, but I have never made a "not-to-do list." Frankly, I think it's much harder to make a list of things not to do. I think the point of such a list has to do with efficiency. We all do some things that are a waste of time and energy - or at least our time could be better spent on something else. It's supposed to help you focus and reduce distractions. For example, don't check email first thing in the morning, or don't answer unrecognized phone calls, or don't let people ramble.... It's easy to find a not-to-do list on the Internet of things that other people suggest. But I might first list, "searching the Internet in order to find out what I think should be on my not-to-do list."