Obtineo

Two of the guests on NPR's Fresh Air were involved in making the film Religulous - a satirical and critical look at the world's religions. These guys (B. Maher and L. Charles) spoke from a very rationalistic and individualistic perspective. I would like to see this film. I recall that one of them said:

"Religions have to be re-looked at to see if they still make sense."

But what's new here? People have stumbled over what makes sense for thousands of years.

"Let no one deceive himself. If anyone among you seems to be wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, "He catches the wise in their own craftiness." -1 Cor. 3:18

"For since, in the wisdom of God, the world through wisdom did not know God, it pleased God through the foolishness of the message preached to save those who believe...but we preach Christ crucified, to the Jews a stumbling block and to the Greeks foolishness." - 1 Cor 1:21

When I got home today my wife was looking at an Atlas of The World published by Rand McNally in 1990. It was a wedding present that we received in 1992. She was looking at maps of Germany. Then the following title in the World of Wonders section of the atlas caught my attention. Look at this popular summary of our climate. Apparently the dominant catastrophic theory of the time was on the cold side.

"The Changing Climate: Clues to the climate of the future lie in the facts of the past. There is every likelihood that the climate conditions that gripped the earth at the height of the last ice age 18,000 years ago will return one day. A drop in global average temperature of only 4F (2C) could initiate a new ice age. The advancing glaciers would imprison so much of the world's water that the oceans would shrink, stripping the seas from the continental shelves. New York City would lie under an ice sheet thick enough to bury the Empire State Building twice over. Montreal, Detroit, and Chicago wold be entombed in snow, and the Midwestern prairies would become a peninsula of Asia, and you would be able to walk from England to France. On the other hand, some scientists believe that a rise of only a few degrees in global temperature would start a meltdown of the polar ice sheets and flood low-lying cities worldwide."

It's good to laugh at ourselves sometimes. When you think of free market this week, most people might guess that I mean the historic 777 point drop in the stock market yesterday. Perhaps the failed $700B bailout legislation? Nope. Rather, last week I listed my first item for sale on eBay. A coworker told me to trust the market and list things at a low price. Don't worry about a reserve she said. So that's what I did, and before long people were throwing quarters and dimes at my item. I was selling an unopened box of 1989 Fleer baseball cards. It's a good test case, since frankly I have several. Well, before it was over the bid went up to $4.14 a few days ago, and thus another first - I sold my first item on eBay. I've learned a few things about shipping costs in the last week - things that I never really wanted to know.

But this post is not about that; it's about the free market. So, here is the ode. In 1987 the box cost around $20. From what I could tell, boxes might now be worth $15 if you're lucky. Mine brought a total of $12. 64. The post office got $8.64, and I came home with $4.00. And I think I should get some credit here for helping the post office. Our mail carrier is a really, really nice lady, so I don't feel so bad. But actually, I didn't come home with the money...my eBay skills are still developing...actually my wife got the money because it went to her PayPal account instead of mine. So at the end of this day, I didn't bring home any cash, but I sure learned a lot!

"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." - unknown

This is a saying that I heard from someone at work. It has to do with first impressions and it was said in reference to relationships. In fact I think it was in reference to someone who was trying to ignore some early dating warning signs.

"The Rev. Martin Luther King Jr., one of the greatest figures of the 20th century, fought and died for equal rights. But equal rights and equal results are two very different things. Results flow from hard work, application, self-investment, competition and assumption of personal responsibility. Today, in America, for those willing to invest in themselves, work hard and avoid bad moral mistakes, opportunity abounds." -Larry Elder, Are there still two Americas, separate and unequal? Ebony, Aug. 2008

I saw this article at the Yahoo website this morning, and it made me think of work. It was "Dating Diary: 10 Dating Red Flags." I had a little fun with this by replacing the words for girlfriend with "collaborator", friends with "co-workers," etc. Try this little mind experiment with those new words - or whatever is relevant to your work, and see how it sounds.


"When determining if you should let things get serious, remember: actions speak louder than words. With that being said, here are ten dating (collaboration) red flags. If you see any of these, do yourself a favor and reconsider if it's worth it for you.

1. You are not on the VIP list for breaking news
Were you the last to learn about this person's _______ or new _______? Once things are serious, you should be among the first to know about exciting news, or bad news.

2. They avoid meeting your family or friends
If they are shying away from meeting your _______ consistently, then there are problems. Even if they are very shy, they should want to meet those who are important to you.

3. They don't make any sacrifices
Healthy relationships don't require bending over backwards all the time, but a certain amount of sacrifice is necessary in a selfless union. When two of my friends first started dating one another, she demanded that he go to Farm Aid for her birthday, which was also the opening NFL football Sunday. While all the guys gathered to watch the games, he was sweltering on some field attending Farm Aid -- an event he never would have gone to if she hadn't have invited him. Now that's sacrifice.

4. They can't fit in your future
I admit it. When I meet ______, I envision future moments I may some day share with them. Most of my scenarios are _______with me and my family at a ______ or at a ______. If I'm really into her, I usually relish the thought. If not, I kinda cringe.

5. They are too controlling
It's scary but I've seen many relationships where _______ forbid _______ to hang out with certain friends, or _______. Major problem if someone is controlling you and not allowing you to be who you want to be within a relationship.

6. The "what are we" conversation fails miserably
Almost every relationship hits that crossroads where you both decide if it's worth taking the plunge into being exclusive and calling each other _______. If they are confused and surprised that you're ready to get serious, the timing is not right, and you should try to figure out how long you want to wait around until they are ready.

7. They talk about plans that don't involve you
My sister has major wanderlust. She's always talking about heading off to Chicago or living in London for a year. She often talks about these things with no regard for the fact that she has a boyfriend at the time. If you find that someone is making plans or talking about far off places without inviting you along for the ride, don't let yourself get too into this person.

8. Your friends or ______ don't like them
Remember that your friends and ______ know you best. Don't take their thoughts with a grain of salt. It's one thing if a person or two don't get along with your _______, but if a lot of them are saying you should reconsider, then do it. Unfortunately, we often find out about how much our friends hated that person after this person is gone.

9. They violated your trust
Whether it's cheating or a little lie that they got caught in, it will be hard to regain trust. Trust is something we don't give away easily, and once it's gone it's hard to get it back. We'll always be wondering about that lie, and doubt will creep in more and more as our minds fixate on that lie. Too often, people take trust for granted and once they lose it they never get it back.

10. You practice "unbalanced ______"
Are you always seeing his _______ or doing things that he wants to do? Do you just let him pick the _______ and events? Or is it the other way around? Relationships are fun when you are both able to contribute. If you're not taking turns creating fun times together, it will most likely fizzle out."

The original story was found here: http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/dating-diaries-ten-dating-red-flags-258416/

I've been on several search committees at work recently. One of the questions that is often asked is something like, "What do you think is the most important aspect of working with other people?" I've started to get excited to see if anyone will answer this question like I would. I think the last six applicants have all answered it the same way. The overwhelming answer is, "communication." People say they want to know what expectations are. They want to know what's going on. They want people to talk to them. Even now I can think of many specific cases at work where people have simply failed to communicate. This can indeed cause all kinds of problems. But despite this good answer, it's not what I would say. My answer is related but different. The people I've interviewed lately have not even mentioned this one when they elaborate on communication. My answer to this question is, "trust."

I'm slowly adding to that list of advice for newlyweds that I wrote about some time ago. The topic label is marriage.

Don't criticize your spouse. Build her up. Practice appreciation instead of criticism. And don't allow another person to tear her down in your presence.

Last Friday I flew to the Governor's office for the announcement of the new grant that my office at the local university manages. We worked long and hard on the proposal at the end of last year, which was no fun over the Christmas holiday. One could have conceived and delivered a child in the time it took to get the announcement from the National Science Foundation, but it finally came. I'm very thankful. It will be a great new challenge. I have been doing this job for about six years now, and this project alone is supposed to last for five years. By the time it's done my oldest daughter will be almost 19 years old, and my youngest will be eight- yikes.

"Love is always doing the very best for the object of one's love. This is what love is and what love does, and there is nothing mysterious about that... What is it that makes us want to do the best for the one we love?...love recognizes a unique value in the beloved and chooses to affirm the value of the beloved always...real love is always a choice backed up by action."

"C.S. Lewis showed the difference between agape and the natural loves by using the picture of a garden. He describes the natural loves as a garden that would soon run to weeds if left alone. This is inevitable because of self-centerdness, willfulness, and the other sins resulting from the fall. Agape love acts as the rakes, hoes, shears, plant food, and weed killer employed by a skilled gardener to keep the garden thriving, orderly, and beautiful. When God planted the garden of our nature and caused the flowering, fruiting loves to grow there, He set our will to tend them, to watch over them and care for them as a wise gardener should. This operation of the will is agape love - a knowledgeable and skillful love always concerned with doing what is best for the beloved." - Ed Wheat

"First, we learn that we can change things. Our despair, cynicism and laziness may insist to us that nothing ever really changes and that we can never really make a difference. But on high we see a great cloud of witnesses stand to their feet with a different testimony." - Gary Haugen, Good News About Injustice

This is a great reminder and encouragement. A couple examples of these 'witnesses' include Dr. Kate Bushnell and Rev. Murphy. The first helped take on the 'dens of forced prostitution' that were rampant in the logging camps and mining communities in the Upper Midwest in the 1880s. No one would properly investigate, so she infiltrated brothels and interviewed hundreds of women to get proof of the conditions that existed. She then made it public. The second, could not stand to see the oppression of tens of thousands of children under age fourteen who toiled in the textile mills in the American South. He helped bring about the abolition of child labor in America. The point of of the author is, in part, that these examples are of pretty normal people who really did change things because they refused to despair and do nothing.

I'm not thrilled with the writing style of this author, but his call to 'uncommon courage for common Christians' is very good.

Today was a significant day at work. I won't go into details until next week, but I wanted to make a note of it here. I am blessed to have a job that I enjoy very much, and I get to work with some very interesting people. The job has been fruitful in many ways. I am grateful to have a job that keeps my interest and challenges me.

For some time I have wanted to write some thoughts about excess.

When I was a kid my mom would buy things for me. When she found out what I liked, there was rarely a concern about 'too much of a good thing.' In fact even now, grandma likes to give gifts that she knows people will like. If one of the boys says he likes spiderman, you can be sure that we will soon have multiple toys and other things with spiderman on them. She had almost nothing when she was a child, so when she has the opportunity to give she gives and gives. Her giving spirit is one of the things that makes her a remarkable person.

After a few years of collecting, baseball cards seemed to become more commonly available. My mom would buy them for me by the box. In fact, she knew when the candy delivery guy was scheduled to deliver at the drugstore, and she bought some of them directly from him before they even made it to the shelf. At one point I started saving the unopened boxes, thinking that they might be worth a lot of money someday. Had that turned out to be true, I would probably be singing the praises of excess. But the reality is that most of the 'modern' cards are now worth very little. So I have an excess of cards.

I have grown up during one of the most affluent periods, as an American, that the world has ever seen. Since I have had so much, it is probably relatively easy for me to sit here and think about 'less is more.' But to some extent I think less really can be more, and I know the principle of moderation is biblical. For instance:

"Give me neither poverty nor riches - feed me with the food allotted to me; lest I be full and deny You, and say, 'who is the Lord?' or lest I be poor and steal, and profane the name of my God." - Proverbs 30:8-9.

My father-in-law, as compared to my mother, definitely tends to be more on the less-is-more side of the fence. I have come to have great respect for his philosophy of stuff. I think he would say, 'better a few high-quality things that will last, than a large quantity of less expensive stuff that wont last long.'

It is possible to go too far on either side; there are temptations in plenty and temptations in want. The temptations are different. I hope to be more thoughtful about what I'm teaching my kids about stuff. I want them to enjoy the blessing of moderation. I also want them to freely give.

Here is a little story, as told by E. I think it's interesting that both of her recent stories are about birds. Hmm.

"One day a little girl went for a walk. She found a bird. She could not figure out what kind of bird it was. She thought and she thought. She kept thinking, but she still could not remember. So she walked a little farther and tried to think again. She thought, 'was it a bluebird, was it a robin, what bird was it?' She said to herself. Self. I wonder if I will ever find out. Then she saw another bird. She was thinking about what kind of bird IT was. She thought it looked much like a robin. It was a robin."