Obtineo: 2009

Monday, December 28, 2009

Breaking the Silence

It has been more than a month since my last post, so I'm just going to do one to get back into the swing of things.

A day or so ago So So walked up to me while I was sitting on the couch and pulled his shirt up half way. You know, to show his belly button.

Then he proclaimed, "this is how cheerleaders wear their shirts".

"Really?" I said, "Why is that?"

He thought for a second and then said, "Because that's what their boss said."

"Really?" I said.

Then he paused again - but longer this time - and said, "Actually, I don't know why."

There you have it. Apparently So So is still at the age when he wonders why there are so many magazines at the checkout stand with women wearing swimming suits on the front covers. That makes life a little simpler... for now.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

No Hope

OCC 2012 Stories: John Thomas and Living Hope from Overlake Christian Church on Vimeo.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Aspirations

"This he said, was something he dealt with all the time. He was forever getting junior Batswana employees coming to the personnel department and demanding a promotion on the grounds that they could do the job of their boss - who in most cases, they complained, just sat behind the desk, spoke on the phone, clicked ballpoint pens, and shuffled papers.

Dad said Beauty must have watched him using his stethoscope and giving injections and tablets and understandably thought she could do that too.

Grandpa smiled and said, in his gravest I-have-been-in-Africa-for-a-long-time-and-seen-a-lot-of-things voice, that of course, even if you weren't properly trained, aspiration and self-confidence were always the most important starting points."

Robyn Scott - p. 74. Twenty Chickens for a Saddle

Chameleons are Very Bad - They Change Color

"There was a computer printed sign on the grimy wall at the Department of Labor. The sign said:

So-called White People

They are red when they are born,
They go yellow when they are sick,
They go brown in the sun,
They go blue in the cold,
They go gray when they die,
And they have the cheek to call US colored!!!"

-Robyn Scott, p. 96. Twenty Chickens for a Saddle: The Story of an African Childhood

Saturday, August 29, 2009

First Big Tractor Ride

I didn't have a chance to take a picture, so this one from the TractorStore will have to suffice. Today when we were at Mr. R's shop, the three S boys got to ride in the quad track. They each got to take their turn steering. They were thrilled. It's a very large tractor. I'm not sure which was larger, the tractor or the smiles on the boys' faces.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Persistence Pays

E. spent the better part of this afternoon putting together a 300 piece puzzle. She is just going into second grade. I think this was the first time she has tried so many pieces without help. I told her that I would give her a bowl of ice cream if she completed it. I guess that was a great motivator. She cashed in on my offer as soon as she was finished. BK helped her with the last few blue-sky pieces, but overall it was a job very well done. She is so excited about her puzzle.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Giving

Here is another way of saying what I wrote about yesterday.

"Beware lest there be a wicked thought in your heart... and your eye be evil against your poor brother and you give him nothing, and he cry out to the Lord against you, and it become sin among you."

"You shall surely give to him [your poor brother], and your heart should not be grieved when you give to him, because for this thing the Lord your God will bless you in all your works and in all to which you put your hand....You shall open your hand wide to your brother, to your poor and your needy, in your land."

-Deuteronomy 15: 8,10-11.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

What Your Father Thinks

Again, I find myself telling the kids things that God must already know. They are things that He wants me to know, but they become so obvious to me when I listen to myself telling someone else.

Often the kids share and get along. But sometimes kids are prone to covet. They grasp. They hoard. Sometimes one will get candy from the mail lady and eat it all without sharing. Sometimes they will shove it in their mouth before anyone else can get to them. It's amazing how much consternation can be churned up in the heart of little ones over a few small pieces of candy.

Today I found myself telling my four year old how really silly that is. Really, are two small taffy things worth it? Compared to the potential that I have as a dad to bless her with treats, those little candies are nothing. Compared to my four year old's income and buying power, I have an unimaginable ability to dump a huge amount of candy on her. But why would I do that when I'm watching her sin and grasp over something so little? She can fuss in her own strength to get such a small reward. But I would much rather that she let those things go and depend on me to bless her with far more.

God must shake his head when we try so hard to get and hold onto things in our own strength. We might get them, but we are settling for so little. How much happier we would be as His children to let things go more often, to give what we see in front of us, and to trust that our Father has access to so much more. He loves us and wants to bless us.

Have faith. Don't waste your strength striving to keep what little is left for yourself; even when it is almost all gone. Freely give and your Father will smile at you. He wants to bless you with far more than what you thought you wanted.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Sweet and Sour

For those who know E, I thought this beautiful little sign on her bedroom door was an amazing metaphor.

Sisters. Young Love. Awesome. Kisses. Wow. Girlfriend. Flowers... Stay Out.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Incentive for Entrepreneurs

"The Spanish empire was an autocracy, governed from the center. In England, by comparison, the power of the monarch never became absolute; it was always limited, first by the country's wealthy aristocracy and later by the two houses of Parliament. Yet the weakness of the English crown concealed a future strength. Precisely because political power was spread more widely, so was wealth. Taxation could only be levied with the approval of Parliament. People with money could therefore be reasonably confident that it would not simply be appropriated by an absolute ruler. That was to prove an important incentive for entrepreneurs."

N. Ferguson.
-Empire: The Rise and Demise of the British World Order and the Lessons for Global Power.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Cutting for Stone

I just finished reading the novel "Cutting for Stone." It is the first novel I have read in a long time, and I enjoyed it. It was a very intense story that pulled me in from the beginning and kept me attentive the whole way. That's partly because of the descriptions of life in Addis Ababa (which we visited recently) but mostly because of the vivid characters who's lives were interconnected in so many ways. I was also fascinated by the medical descriptions throughout the story. It is a tale of relationships that declares -

"The world turns on our every action, and our every omission, whether we know it or not."

Open Hands

Today I explained something to the kids that I also need to remember. Our job is to become less and less selfish every year. We are certainly born selfish. But it should be all downhill from there. The eight year old should be less selfish than the four year old, and the forty year old should be far less selfish than the ten year old. More and more we should be willing to give up what we want in order to give preference to others. That's one way to "love your neighbor as your self". When we can't agree on which game to play, the older should be better prepared to love the younger. This is part of our sanctification. It's not linear, but it should be noticeable.

Am I less selfish than I was ten years ago? Actually, yes. But this is no time to stop. I hope that in another ten years the answer will again be yes. As we grow in grace, tight fists will be loosed. My wrinkled hands should be open hands.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Death in America

"This was the first time in America that I had to give someone news of a fatal illness, but it felt like the first time ever. It was as if in Ethiopia, and even in Nairobi, people assumed that all illness - even a trivial one - was fatal; they expected death. The news to convey in Africa was that you'd kept death at bay. Those things that you couldn't do, and those diseases you couldn't reverse, were left unspoken. It was understood. I don't recall an equivalent word for "prognosis" in Amharic, and I'd never tried to speak to a patient about five-year survival or anything like that. In America, my initial impression was that death or the possibility of it always seemed to come as a surprise, as if we took for granted that we were immortal, and that death was just an option." - from Cutting for Stone

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Doers and their Patrons

I'm reading a novel for the first time in many years. The author was recommended to me as I was talking to someone about adopting Nez from Ethiopia. Abraham Verghese wrote this one, "Cutting for Stone." He also wrote "My Own Country" which I want to read also. The Novel is very absorbing, and it's interesting to also read what is said about Ethiopia. Much of the story thus far takes place in Addis.

Here is a line that I wanted to write down. It's part of a conversation that Matron is having with a Baptist sponsor of the clinic from Houston. He was explaining his hope to bring knowledge of the Redeemer to those in Addis. Part of his concern was that the people's Christianity was not true.

The clinic had piles and piles of, 'more English Bibles than there are English speaking people in the entire country. We need medicine and food. I always wondered if the good people who send us Bibles really think that hookworm and hunger are healed by Scripture? Our patients are illiterate.'

'When you look around Addis and see children barefoot and shivering in the rain, when you see the lepers begging for their next morsel, does any of that Monophysitic nonsense matter the least bit? God will judge us, Mr. Harris, by what we did to relieve the suffering of our fellow human beings.'

"It was a small blessing that an ocean separated the doers like Matron from their patrons, because if they rubbed shoulders they'd make each other very uncomfortable"

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

A Week of Firsts

This seems to be a week of firsts for us. Yesterday K-man played in his very first organized baseball game. He is playing in the rookie league this year for the first time. The teams don't keep score, but apparently the kids or coaches do. K-man said that his team won! He got to play first base and had a lot of action at that position. He is thrilled. This is also So So's first time to play organized sports. We signed him up for LAX. His first practice was this evening. He looked pretty tired after swimming and LAX practicing today, but I think he'll enjoy playing. Lots of his friends from school are on the teams. It's also my first trip to Sun Valley this week. I'm going there for a meeting. Tonight, Felix Hernandez of the Mariners pitched his first shutout of the 2009 season. K-man found a radio in the garage, so he was able to listen to the Mariners game on the radio at bedtime. Nez also got his first very own new bicycle this week. His hand-me-down bit the dust and was not worth a major repair. This is Mad's first week of drivers education class, and also her first time to drive on real roads in a real car (tomorrow evening). Very busy, but not a bad week.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

What Difference Does Color Make

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

A Compass Point

Here is the fourth point from Holding On to Your Kids.

4. Act as a Child's Compass Point
Since children depend on us to get their bearings, we must assume the role of compass point and act as their guide. Many of us lose this orienting instinct with older children. We no longer assume the role of introducing the to those around them, of familiarizing them with their world, of informing them of what is going to happen, and of interpreting what things mean. Imagine being in a foreign city, lost and confused, separated from your belongings, unable to speak or understand the language, and feeling hopeless and helpless. Imagine someone approaching you and offering her assistance in your own language. After she had helped orient you about the persons to contact and places to go, every instinct within you would be primed to maintain closeness with your guide. Once she turned to go, you would seek to prolong the conversation, grasping at straws to keep her close. We have to remember that children are in need of being oriented, and that we are their best resource for that, whether they know it or not. The more we orient them in terms of time and space, people and happenings, meanings and circumstances, the more inclined they are to keep us close. We must not wait for their confused look, but confidently assume our position in their life as guide and interpreter. Even a little bit of orienting at the beginning of the day can go a long way in keeping them close: "This is where I'll be.., what I have in mind for this evening is.., let me show you how this works..," …and of course orienting them about their identity and significance: "you have a special way of.., you have a gift in…" The secret for the adult is to take advantage of any orienting voids the child is experiencing by offering himself as a guide. If you can arrange situations that render the child dependent on you to get his bearings, so much the better for priming an attachment.

Monday, May 18, 2009

More about Collecting

2. Provide Something for the Child to Hold On to
The point is for them to hold on figuratively. We need to give children something they can take to heart and not let go of. Whatever we provide must come from us or be ours to give. Attention and interest are powerful primers of connections. Signs of affection are potent. If we have a twinkle in our eye and warmth in our voice, we invite connection that most children will not turn down. Children will want to hold on to the knowledge that they are special to us and appreciated in our life. For our own children, hugs and embraces can warm up a child long after the hug is over. Convey a sense of sameness or find an opportunity to demonstrate some loyalty. This could be as simple as noticing that you have something in common or share a common interest. For children to fully receive it, it has to be genuine and unconditional. And the child must perceive the offering to be spontaneous for connection to work. We can't collect a child by giving what is expected - like a birthday gift or reward - or it will be associated with the event not the relationship. Meeting needs on demand must not be mistaken for enriching the relationship. In collecting a child, the element of initiative and surprise is vital. It is a way of conveying spontaneous delight in the child's very being when he is not asking for anything. Highly insecure children can be exhaustingly demanding of time and attention. The conundrum is that giving attention at the request of the child is never satisfactory. The solution is to seize the moment, to invite contact exactly when the child is not demanding it, or if in response, the parent can express more interest than the child was expecting. The foundation of a child's true self esteem is the sense of being accepted, loved, and enjoyed by the parents exactly as he, the child, is.

3. Invite Dependence
To invite an older child to depend on us is to convey that he can trust us, count on us, lean on us, be cared for by us. We are conveying that he can trust us, and count on us, lean on us. She can come to us for assistance and expect our help. Our new-world preoccupation with independence gets in the way. In thousands of little ways, we pull and push our children to grow up..instead of inviting them to rest. We are pushing them away from us rather than bringing them to us. Can you imagine the effect on adult wooing if we conveyed the message: don't expect me to help you with anything I think you should or could be able to do yourself. It is doubtful that the relationship would ever be cemented. Independence is a fruit of maturation; our job in raising children is to look after their dependence needs. Only when the dependence needs are met does the quest for independence begin. Our refusal to invite them to depend on us drives them into the arms of each other. Transfer of dependence is often confused with independence. The only way to become independent is through being dependent.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Attaching

I finally got to some of the advice sections of Hold On To Your Kids. Here are some quickly taken notes on things that seemed important from Chapter 14. --

The attachment dance has four distinct steps. These steps progress in a specific order and, as they do, they form the basic model for all human courtship interaction. The four steps provide the sequence we need to follow in the task of collecting our children, from infancy and beyond through adolescence.

1. Get in the child's face - or space - in a friendly way
2. Provide something for the child to hold on to
3. Invite dependence
4. Act as the child's compass point

1. Get in the child's face - or space - in a friendly way
The objective is to attract the child's eyes, to evoke a smile, and, if possible, elicit a nod. The starting point and the primary goal in all our connections with children ought to be the relationship itself, not conduct or behavior. The average toddler experiences a prohibition every nine minutes. Even as we must be guardians, we need to keep getting in their faces in ways that are warm and inviting, that keep enticing them to stay in relationship with us. As children get older the challenge changes to getting in their 'space' in a friendly way. It is especially important to collect our children after any time of separation. The most common is the greeting, which is the prerequisite for all successful interactions. A greeting should collect the eyes, a smile, and a nod. Sometimes the separation may be due to a child's being preoccupied with something. The first interaction should be to reestablish connection. It is fruitless to give a child directions when she is completely focused on something. Collecting our children is also important after separation caused by sleep. A morning warm-up time can be very fruitful. In short, we need to build routines of collecting our children into our daily lives. It is especially important to reconnect after any sort of emotional separation (e.g., argument). Rebuilding 'the interpersonal bridge' is always our responsibility, rather than the children's. It is undoubtedly this act of collecting a child that sets the master teacher apart from all the others.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

All Hands on Deck

Something simple occurred to me the other day. We have 20 hands in our family - sixteen just among our children. If I do my job well, those sixteen hands will be a help to us and others for many years. Even the youngest is capable of doing a lot with her hands (she can make a mess in no time). Sixteen. That's also the minimum number of kid shoes we have around the house at any given time. Thirty-two is probably more like it.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Road Trip

We have a very busy long weekend that started on Thursday evening. Six of us (me and five of the 10-and-under kids) went to Seattle. Most of my pictures are from Friday, after N's dentist appointment. That's when the fun started. We had some time to spend together in Seattle before going to the Mariners game that evening. We stopped at the Seattle Aquarium, but I was too cheap to buy admission and go to a baseball game, so we walked around and saw the free sights and had a snack instead.

Since we were in the neighborhood so early, we parked in front of QWest field and ran around the steps and played catch in the grass. We had the whole place almost to ourselves for more than an hour.

Then we walked to Safeco field and waited patiently for the gates to open.

Once inside we went down to the edge of the right field. We spent the first hour or so with a group of fans trying to capture baseballs during batting practice. I have been to very few major league games and have never snagged a ball. Now I know at least two of the secrets to it. The first came to K-man after he correctly answered a quiz. The line guard couldn't pick between the two boys begging for a ball, so he asked them the average life of a baseball (in number of pitches). Whoever was closest would get it. K-man guessed right - five. His reasoning is a post of its own on his mom's blog.

Another secret is to take N. or another very cute little one. At one point a big guy (the one with the glove in the picture) got a ball while N was standing right next to him waiting and watching. One of the ladies in the nearby stands yelled, "let the little kid have the ball". Must have made the guy feel guilty, because a couple of balls later after we had gone toward the dugout and came back, the big guy found N and gave him a ball.

The third one rolled to my feet after bouncing off of a nice lady behind us. I gave it to So So. Later when N saw that So's ball was cleaner and whiter, he wanted it instead. When I tried to convince him that he got whatever he got, he looked at his ball and said something like, "this stupid." I guess he didn't realize that dozens of other little boys were there coveting his ball while he was coveting So So's. But this was a fleeting moment, and we soon got caught up again in the fun.

The weather was perfect: warm and sunny. Going early was great. It was very relaxing and fun.

Before long, Grandpam, E, UB, and cousins showed up to meet us. We walked up top and found our seats on the third level. I had never been up there. I like heights, but I thought it felt pretty steep when looking down. Since it was still early, we left our seats and got right to business - eating. UB snagged a table and we spent our allowances on hot dogs, pizza, and fish and chips.

The rest of the evening we talked to friends, ate more food, chanted ICHIRO, enjoyed the view, picked up our free hats and t-shirts for family night at the ballpark, and watched an exciting game with a very dramatic ending.

I think this was my second game at Safeco field since it opened 10 years ago, so it was definitely a treat. I would like to take the big kids sometime. I really enjoyed spending time with my little kids on this adventure. Next time I'll hope for a day game, so we don't have to stay up quite so late.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

What a Girl Wants

Here comes the birthday wish list from my soon to be (May) eight year old. I post it here for a couple of reasons. First, this way I won't lose the paper she wrote it on and have to ask her again. Second, I think it's interesting to ponder what my kids desire. Their lists are pretty simple. It may be partly because we don't see many television commercials. Or because their mother has done a good job of teaching them to love simplicity. I'm not sure. Either way, I'm please to see a little list like this:

Jump rope, purse, Bible, toy horse, Cougar shirt, watch, notebook.

When my soon to be (July) 11 year old saw a list on the table, she added her wishes to the bottom too. Her list is:

Thermos, organizer, tennis racket and ball. (we suggest two tennis rackets, so she will have a way to play tennis with someone else)

Love Indeed

"But whoever has this world's goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God, abide in him? My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth" - 1 John 3: 17-18

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Earth Day?

Yes, we did it. We flipped a switch and the power was out at our house yesterday (except the refrigerator/freezer). I have to admit that I was at work for much of the day, so I had less time to experience it than others.

I noticed several things. First, it was a lot calmer after dark with only candle light. It also smelled nice. The time we might normally have spent on the computer was spent sitting with the kids and goofing around. The kids that did the dishes by hand spent more time talking to each other in the kitchen about their day than they normally do when the dishwasher works. Most of us got to bed earlier since it was dark. I realized that I could live with much less light in the house. In fact, the next morning when the lights were turned on it seemed too bright. I personally didn't miss much of anything we had to give up for that short time. Maybe it was because I knew it would come back on. Or maybe it was because life was still fine without the extra conveniences. I had forgotten that the sink disposal wouldn't work, and the sink drained slowly. To be honest, I enjoyed it overall. The kids now realize how many different things require electricity. They also learned about cold showers. It was a great learning experience. To be something that motivates a change in the way we relate to each other in sending our time, I think we would need to do it more often. Why not?

I did wonder how much electricity the U.S. could save if every household voluntarily turn off the power for one day a week. I bet someone has calculated it and said so on the Internet. Maybe I'll use a little electricity to look. After all, isn't it Earth Day?

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Real Love

I have not written much about our new little boy or our trip to Ethiopia. I'm not sure why, but I have not felt like writing/blogging lately. Perhaps that will change. I do think that our recent adoption of N has been a great experience for our family. It has required a bit more energy to have two 4 year olds at home, but the blessings have far outweighed the extra work thus far. N is a very bright and sweet little boy. I am really amazed at how comfortable he seems to feel. I think he likes having brothers and sisters (although I think he likes some of them better than others depending on who has the same taste in toys). I think he really likes having a mom and dad. I have been amazed at how quickly and easily he typically goes to bed. I tuck him in and sit next to his bed, holding his hand. That's usually all it takes, and he goes contently asleep for the remainder of the night. He is very affectionate and likes to say, 'I love you'. He also likes to repeat his new full name. In our minds I think we knew that this could be a very difficult transition for him, but that has not been the case yet. I'm also starting to figure out his real love in life - cookies.

Planned Outage

We're planning a little experiment for tomorrow. We are turning off our power for a good part of the day; at least the part when we are all typically home. I think this was my wife's idea - another example of her sharp mind. I like it. I might not like it after we do it, but I like the idea. It is far too easy to take things for granted. I warned the kids to be prepared and plan ahead for this planned outage. We starting to list the things that would not work: no dishwasher, no microwave, no lights, no Internet. "Will the clock still work?" they asked. "Will the water still work?" (yes). These are good questions, and they show that some of the kids don't quite know what requires electrical power and what does not. Tonight I'm sitting here with lights around me. Tomorrow, not so much. I hope is causes us to think. At the very least it will save us a few pennies on our electric bill.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Indivisualism

I recently attended a workshop about creating a graduate research center for American Indian students. During the meeting, to topic of healing past wounds between our nations/cultures came up. This made me think of the times in the past that I have heard and thought, why do we need to be responsible to make those things right? That wasn't our generation. We lived in the 1990s and we weren't even born then. At the same meeting I hear elders talking about their ancestors and about future generations. I can see why some people are attracted to a Native American way of looking at some things. They know they are connected to their people. It also made me realize why it would make no sense for them to say, that wasn't me that was my great grandfather. Only an individualistic view can separate oneself from generations past and future. That's what my generation tends to do. One more test of individualism.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Happy Boys

Today was a nice day at home. Because spring break is here for the kids, we didn't have too many places we had to go - no dance, no play practice. Nes likes to push buttons. He really likes to flip light switches and push the buttons on the DVD player. He gets quite an audience when he turns off the TV in the middle of a movie. So today I got a screwdriver and opened the back of the toy cell phone to see what was inside. At our house, toys that make noise get to make noise until the batteries run out. Life is short. But I really wanted to give Nes some fun buttons that were meant to be played with. So when K-man and I went to the store we found batteries. As you can see from the picture, he liked the cell phone. He spent his afternoon running around the house saying, "hello" and "goodbye." You can also see that everyone wants to be in the pictures with Nes. He is really quite a charming little man.

While K-man and I were checking out with our batteries, a box near the checkout counter caught my attention. 2009 Topps baseball cards in regular 12-card packs! We (mostly me) couldn't resist. We got three packs. K-man was really excited. On our way to the car he kept saying that he hoped we got Ken Griffey Jr. and Ichiro, his favorite players. There was a remote chance that he might get one of them, but both? We anxiously opened a pack when we got to the car. Just a few cards into it and there it was, Griffey Jr.! That alone made it fun. After that K-man was even more optimistic that he could also get Ichiro. Being the adult that I am, I'm thinking that the chances of that are nearly zero. I've collected card a long time, and I know how few times you get just what you were hoping for when you only get three packs. I tried to be encouraging, but also setting the stage for us to just be happy if we got a Mariner, any Mariner. Sometimes that doesn't even happen. You know, let's be realistic. Experience tells me... But wouldn't you know it, the third pack had Ichiro! I was astonished. God is so kind.

This silly little thing made me think about faith. Christ told his disciples that we should receive the kingdom of God like a child, and also that for to such (children) belongs the kingdom of God. Do we believe like children, or are we too experienced and rational to be such optimists? "What no eye has seen, nor ear heard,nor the heart of man imagined,what God has prepared for those who love him."(1 Cor 2)

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Safe Return

I just returned last night from Ethiopia. This was a trip that I will always remember. I'm very glad that my wife and I were both able to go. I hope to write much more about the trip here as I make time. It would not have been possible without the kind help of our family and friends here who cared for our kids while we were gone.

The subtitle of my blog is 'keeping perspective'. That is one of the very things this trip has done for me - given some perspective. I know much more about little N's life and homeland now than I did before. I met the people who have cared for him and some of his friends; the most important people in his life. I also know how abundantly blessed we really are. Water comes out of my faucet at home, and I can actually drink it. We in America have so much, which means that we have so much to give.

For now we give thanks and pray for the safe return of my wife and kids who are supposed to fly out of Addis Ababa this morning. May God be with them and bring them home safely.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Special Day

I'm struck by how much my kids look forward to their special days. There is no way that they will let me forget when it is their day. The other night was B's special day and we went shopping and then stopped by Bucers for a nice piece of colossal chocolate cake. It was fun to spend some time together. I'm really glad that we have started this little tradition in our family. So So is next.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Why is that Store Closed on Sunday?

In recent years my wife and I have had conversations about Sabbath rest. Neither of us grew up strictly observing the Sabbath day - you know, the fourth Commandment. We've changed our practices over the years to give greater honor to this day, but we are still working out the details.

It's interesting to think about resistance the heart seems to have about observing this day. Even for those who faithfully attend church every Sunday. Why is it so easy for our hearts to resist this Commandment? Do we feel like it's just one more rule that we have to follow; is it a rule that takes away our freedom and choice?

I think God knew that we would resist. For one thing, there is more explanation about this commandment than any of the other ten. We are told to work hard all week, and then rest for a day. We are also to give rest to our children, our employees, our animals, and others. And this rest is to make us remember "that you were slaves...and the Lord your God brought you out from there..." This is not really about what we can't do; it's about what we are to do. We are to give.

Our recent talks have been about things like shopping and eating out on Sundays. What's the best way for us to give rest to others? Do our consumer habits really affect other people? We think they do, and these very questions came up in a letter to Touchstone magazine from a young lady who really wished that she didn't have to be pressured to work on Sunday. After working that shift for some time, she noticed that she spent much of that day serving 'the church crowd.' For those who set this day apart, thinking only of our own rest is, as she said, 'an exercise in selfishness.'

So we ask ourselves, are we slaves to convenience? Couldn't we have purchased those chips ahead of time instead? Are we giving others rest, or just taking it? More and more, we hope the answer is, giving.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Like We Own the Place

Several of us cleaned Beasley Coliseum after the Cougar basketball game on Saturday. It's the kind of thing that's fun to do once a year or so, but I wouldn't want to do it every day.

The kids have fun. They take a break after a few hours and get to play on Friel Court. They also get to roam throughout the stadium (picking up trash) like they own the place. It's a good way to make several hundred dollars for the eighth grade class.

Look up. That's where we sit this year. Section 23. Upper deck.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Don't Withhold Good

As we read in Proverbs this week, this proverb stuck in my mind.

"Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in the power of your hand to do so. Do not say to your neighbor, 'Go, and come back and tomorrow I will give it,' when you have it with you" 3:27-28

This can apply to many situations. That would include dealing with our children. How many times do I say, 'yes, we will do that later' or 'tomorrow'? While I wish I could say that I always follow up, I sometimes find that I let other things get in the way or that I forget. But the kids often remember, at least in the short-term.

So this is another note to self: Don't withhold good when....

New Pac-10 Record

The Cougar basketball team set a new Pac-10 record this weekend. They made all (yes 100%) of their 28 free throws in the game against Oregon. The previous record was 22. That is actually quite remarkable. Go Cougs!

Friday, January 16, 2009

Can't Live Without Air

My older girls reallly enjoy iTunes. They get iTunes gift cards now and then, so they purchase songs right from home. We all share one iPod, so we get to listen to each other's music. They are much more into popular music now than they were last year.

Since I think music is an important and wonderful part of life, I hope to help them think a little about the music they listen to. Lately I have been focusing on the lyrics. We listen together and talk about the songs before they buy them. Sometimes we both like the songs and we sing them together and have a little fun. Sometimes we notice lyrics that I think are a little too sensual for young kids or lyrics that are just plain stupid. I'm finding several ways to help the kids think about popular music. One way is to sing the lyrics to them in a way that more obviously reflects their meaning. Sometimes we aren't sure what the lyrics are, so we get on the Internet to search for the words to the song. Then one of us reads them out loud. This often leads to one of three things: we all say, "okay" (then we buy) or the girls look at me and say, "what?" (then we discuss), or they get that look on their face and say, "Ooh" (then we look for other songs).

This has led to a few good laughs and a little more thought about the music we listen to. It's not a perfect approach by any means, but so far I'm encouraged by their responses. And while we are at it, we try not to take ourselves too seriously.

Keeping It

We grilled burgers tonight. My five year old announced that the grill was smoking. I asked him how he knew it was smoking, since he was in the house with me. He just said, "I keep everything in my brain."

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Lunchtime

Today was a five-year-old's special day. He wanted to eat ice cream sandwiches and play Wii bowling and baseball with his dad. So that's what we did at lunchtime today. I was a better bowler, and he was a better batter. It was indeed a good day.

Monday, January 12, 2009

First Pac-10 Victory

This picture is in honor of the Cougars' first Pac-10 basketball victory of 2009. It was the first game of the season where the Cougs snatched victory from defeat. This was also the first Pac-10 victory for the freshman on the team - Thompson, Casto, Capers, etc.

I was almost there to see it, but on our way out the door one of the kids starting 'tossing her cookies' so to speak. So our teenager took my place. I listened on the radio. As far as games go, I think it was one worth remembering.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Another Confession

For years I have thought that individualism was bad. You know that focus on "self." But recently I have come to realize that I am far more individualistic than I thought.

A series on Mars Hill Audio Vol 91 which talked about Tocqueville's view in the 1800's made this clearer to me. Individualism is "a peaceful and reflective sentiment that disposes you to retreat into your circle of family and friends." This is not exactly the same as selfishness, which is "a passionate self love in which we prefer ourselves to others."

The distinction is profound. Selfishness has been around forever. Individualism has grown out of democracy and equality. Individualism can dry up the public virtues - a situation where we really don't care what happens in the public sphere.

The solution to individualism is the "right use of liberty." What does that look like? Try the creation of religious structures, involvement in political affairs, and the formation of associations.

Hmm.

Love can be Rough

Sometimes love can be rough on us. Just look at this dog.

It belongs to my three-year-old. She sleeps with it almost every night. She has loved it so much that the fur on its head is almost gone. Left ear? I have no idea where that went.

It would be in a lot better shape on the surface if it had been displayed on the shelf in the corner of the room. But that is not the kind of love this puppy gets.

Visions of Grandure

This morning my three year old ran through the hall singing, "I just can't wait to be king!" Guess what she has been watching.

Friday, January 9, 2009

New Experience

My wife and I started facebook accounts this week. It's been an interesting experience. It seems to be a great way to find some people that we knew in high school and college; people that we haven't seen in many years. It has also been a good way to keep up with the friends I seen now and then but haven't spent much time with. I haven't spent enough time learning to us it, but eventually I may.

The other day I had a discussion about introverts and extroverts. I think I'm an introvert. Perhaps that is one reason the jury is still out on my social networking experiment.

Monday, January 5, 2009

To Know What is in Our Heart

When Jesus was led into the wilderness to be tempted and had fasted for forty days and nights, the tempter tempted him to turn stones into bread. The answer Jesus gave was that 'man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.' It may not be immediately obvious what this reply reveals. But according to the passage being quoted from the Old Testament, it revealed what was in his heart. This is what the Israelites were told way back then:

"And you shall remember that the LORD your God led you all the way these forty years in the wilderness, to humble you and test you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not. So He humbled you, allowed you to hunger, and fed you with manna which you did not know nor did your fathers know, that He might make you know that man shall not live by bread alone; but man lives by every word that proceeds from the mouth of the LORD."- Deut 8:2-3

Clearly God uses times of hardship to reveal where we put our trust.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Philosophy of Stuff

I think my five year old already has a well developed sociopolitical philosophy figured out. Earlier today he said something like, "Can you make him give some to me, he [brother] already has millions." As any parent can attest, a philosophy of stuff comes early in life.

We Have to Share, Right?

Kids are not afraid to expose their views about how the world should work. And my little ones are not shy about appealing to the universal rule of sharing. Everyone knows that you're supposed to share. That's why I too often hear them reminding their brother or sister that they are supposed to give them what they want. "We have to share," they say to the person holding the toy. As human nature would have it, they usually say this when they want something. They are much less likely to invoke this rule when someone else wants what they have.

So when I hear this, I try to remind them that sharing is only sharing when it applies to their ability to give. If they are demanding something for themselves in the name of sharing, that's actually called coveting.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

My Wife is a Saint

I just spent the last several hours working on a project for work that needs to be ready on Monday morning. I'm taking a short break. My oldest daughter's class fundraiser was to clean up the coliseum today after the Cougar basketball game. My wife was not planning to spend the evening cleaning after the game. But there she is, even as I type. Even worse, the she had to watch the Huskies beat the Cougs for the first time in eight games between these intra-state rivals. It should have been me with a tear in my Coke and a broom in my hand. She is such a Saint! And I am so glad I've been able to work today. Every hour I get a little closer to being done. I hope that fans threw away their own popcorn tonight. After last time I cleaned, I swore that I would never leave my popcorn on the floor again!

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Ignorant

"It is often true that we are quite ignorant of the things with which we are quite familiar." - Otis Sellers