"Age of Opportunity" by Paul Tripp, is a book about parenting teens. I have four teens at the moment; and in a few years I'll have even more.
He asks us as parents, what are your idols? What do we worship? Do we do things, above all, to be praised, to be respected, or to be comfortable? What really rules our hearts? Our hearts will rule our actions.
I'm struck by how this relates to appreciation. It can be easy to get frustrated when kids don't seem to appreciate all of the blessings they have. Why don't they wake every morning and say how thankful they are for all that we do for them?
"Children should appreciate their parents. Yet being appreciated cannot be our goal. When it becomes the thing we live for, we will unwittingly look with hyper-vigilant eyes for appreciation in every situation.... If parents have forgotten their own vertical relationship with God as they've ministered to their teens, if they think of it as an 'I serve, you appreciate' contract between parent and child, they will struggle with lots of discouragement and anger during the teen years.... Parents need to ask, "Whose desires rule the moments of opportunity with my teenager - God's or mine?"
The point is that we should not get discouraged if kids show a lack of gratitude - the kind that we dream of or wish for when it's really a pat on the back we want. Yes, as parents its very easy to see the bigger picture - to see how great they really have it, how much we sacrifice for them, and how much has been given to them. It's easy for them (and all of us) to take things for granted.
How often to we feel like they owe us something? That's that wrong attitude.
Jesus teaches that we are to give to those who can't give in return, for what credit is it to us if we give to those who can give in return, for even sinners do the same. If this applies to enemies and those outside the family, it certainly applies within. We are to be merciful even to those who are unthankful, because we are to be like our Father.
"The Most High is kind to the unthankful and evil. Therefore, be merciful, just as your father also is merciful." L6:35.
