I don't have time to make them justice, but I'll tell you this much:

• The weekend they were going to meet me, my MIL asks DH what I liked to drink. She had it all in the fridge when we got to their house.
• They paid for the wedding. We did our best to keep it down, from number of guests to all the details. They never gave us a budget, and insisted we got a few extra things. like a videographer. I cannot thank them enough for insisting on that, I love our wedding video!!
• They helped us find an attorney for the legal aspects, and covered her fees.
• And last but not least, we told them we're pregnant yesterday. They were very happy and excited! My FIL actually shed a tear, and MIL immediately started saying: "well, when you're 3 months along, you need to start working on a list of the things you need, and we need to start a college fund..."

Seriously, I'm tearing up right now just typing this. They're the sweetest, I'm so very lucky. Not only do I have the sweetest husband, but it's obvious where it all came from.

Tough... DH was NOT the sweetest last night. While drinking his 4th glass of wine, he tried to show my FIL my be band, and told them both how I'm bloated, gassy and belching like there's no tomorrow... My FIL even said " well, there are things we don't need to know...". I couldn't agree more!!

Yesterday we got a call from the OBGYN's office, to say someone forgot that he had a c-section scheduled for the time of our appt, so would the 9th work for us. That's a whole other week! So we called back (or DH did, I was about to start crying) and finally they agreed to leave a message for our doctor to see if he could fit us in at some point next week.

I just got a call back, and we're scheduled for June 4th, at 3 pm. Woo hoo!! I was so scared to have to wait so long! And that's fine too, that's 2 extra days for the heart to start beating. I hope. ::fingers crossed::

Also, yesterday we went shopping and I got a maternity short (it's hot in here, my shorts are tight from bloat) and a Be Band. I actually wore the band last night to go out to dinner. So comfortable!

And speaking of dinner, I think it's time to say good bye to hot wings. I LOVE hot wings, and that's what we had yesterday. I woke up with a stomachache, and who knows how the rest will "go down". Yikes!

Milestone of the day: today I'm still pregnant and I love my baby. We're past the day of my m/c. Today is a good day. And to celebrate, we're telling my IL! They're visiting for a few days. We haven't seen them since Christmas.

Today I'm pregnant and I love my baby.

Yesterday I had three episodes of, we'll call it "3 minutes in the wrong direction and I'll throw up". Not quite gagging yet, but that feeling you get just before you start looking around for the nearest restroom, just in case you need it. First time, on the drive home, after a burger and a iced green tea latte (yum!). Second, watching tv, after bending over to pet Neela. Third, right before falling asleep. I had to get up and get some food. I actually tasted gastric acids in my mouth.

Today I had a bowl of cereal and I feel stuffed. I take it all as good signs that the pregnancy is going well, but I'm a little scared of m/s. I really don't like throwing up! I'll keep you posted (I KNOW you can't wait to hear all the gory details!) ;)

... and I was wearing my jeans. I'm been rocking the yoga pants the last couple of days, but the movies required jeans for sure. Well, on the drive there I just had to unbutton and unzip. And I had to do it as we watched the movie (Angels & Demons, very good!!), and again on the drive back. Keep in mind, the drive is 1.5 hours, and the movie 2.5 hours. And here I am, sitting in front of the computer, unbuttoned and unzipped...

It was just not comfortable! So, I think I'll be rocking my yoga pants more often, and/or I'll need a bella band pretty soon... Stupid bloat!

This is hilarious! If you want to get your prediction, click here.

This is mine. According to Madame Zaritska:

The day you deliver, outside will be sunny. Your baby will arrive in the late evening. After a labor lasting approximately 25 hours, your child, a girl, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 10 pounds, 15 ounces, and will be 18 inches long. This child will have dark green eyes and a little patch of red hair.

25 hours?? 10 pounds?? Are you kidding me??

HA!

Let's see if this makes sense... A night like tonight, I started spotting. I was at the same point in the pregnancy.

Today though everything is right. I have the same pains I've been having, and all of my symptoms. So far, so good. Tomorrow will be a cautious day, and after Wednesday, I'll feel A LOT better!

DH, being the sweetheart he is, brought me two rose plants. They're beautiful, and I love how we get keep them instead if them ending in the trash can after a week. Here's a pic:


He also got himself some red wine... Oh, well!

R, K, and pregnant readers: please skip this one. It was just a dream I had, and everything is fine, and you don't need those images in your head.

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Last night I woke up at 1:30 am to pee (surprise, surprise...) and then I went back to sleep. I woke up again at 2:30 am, after the worst dream I've had in a long time. Here goes:

DH and I were going to bed. I changed the sheets and washed the comforter yesterday, and the bed looked exactly as it is. Fiona was on the bed (she's SO not allowed to!), so I kicked her off the bed and was all upset about the clean sheets now covered in dog hair (DH didn't seem to mind...) And then, the whole thing changed. The room was the same, but DH and I stopped being a part of it, and I was just watching. The situation was the same, same bed, same bedroom, but the people... please don't laugh at me: it was Meredith and Derek from Grey's Anatomy. She was wearing surgical scrubs, and she was kinda covered in blood (from a patient). Then Christina walked in all freaked out, apologizing to Meredith for not coming to get her sooner, and Meredith started freaking out, and then they both walked out of the bedroom and into a bathroom. Meredith kept telling Christina "what are you telling me? is this really happening? is this happening again?", Christina just looked scared and teary-eyed. Christina helped Meredith get out of her scrubs, and there was blood on her pants. She got rid of the pants, and there was blood running down her leg, I could see a completely filled pad and dark red blood (kinda the color of tissue) running down her leg. Meredith told Christina to get out, sat on the toilet and started crying. That's when I woke up. I was so upset, I got up, went to the bathroom to pee, and I checked the TP. There was nothing wrong, but I started crying. It really freaked me out. In my head, I changed the characters because it would've been unbearable to see that happen to us, but that's what the dream was about, really.

Everything is fine, but I'm scared. Scared that there's no baby growing in there ( I don't feel any growing pains), scared that there's something wrong or that it's going to happen again. I'm really just waiting, I'm staying positive cause right now there's really nothing to worry about, but I want to be 6 wks already. That will be half way there for me. At 6 wks we'll know if everything is going well, and the chances on m/c decrease once you see a heartbeat, I so can't wait for that! And then we just have to make it to 12 wks, and I'll feel out of the woods. I know things can go wrong after that too, but odds are way better.

Please, lovebug, please stay with us...

***TMI*** seriously!

...that I'm jealous of DH for being able to fart right now? I'm so bloated! I've been belching like there's no tomorrow ALL day, and I suspect R might be right and some of this pain is just gas. Yes, I've had some, ehem, relief, but nothing much, and nothing compared to my belching, which is absolutely insane! ugh...

Ok, TMI over... sorry about that!

Since this morning, I've had this pulling feeling and it hasn't left me. Actually, it gets a bit worse at times. The pain (though it's still more like pulling) is mostly on my right side, kinda ovary level, but not quite that far right, and it has been going down about 2 in into my thigh, and also very low in my abdomen. It feels as if I was carrying a lot of weight there, if that makes sense. I finally decided to take Tylenol, so it goes away and I can stop worrying.

I know there's nothing I can do one way or the other, but I just want to stay home and hide this whole week until we get past 5 wks... I don't want to do anything to jeopardize this pregnancy, even though I know that's an irrational thought.

Anyways, I went to walmart today. I decided to make a couple of positive purchases. First, I decided not to buy more pregnancy tests. I don't need them, I know I'm pregnant. Second, I bought lotion for stretch marks. I know it's way early, but I have a tattoo somewhat between my hip and my belly button, and I want it to stay stretch-marks-free, so I want to start prepping my skin.

And third, I bought these:

I went with neutral colors just in case, but if we're having a girl I'll get another one that I loved that says "Mommy's little love bug" Awww! That's this baby's nickname, love bug (I didn't want to jinx myself by typing it, but it's another one of my positive thinking techniques). Heck, if it's a boy, I'll make an onesie with that line myself!

(and for the record, DH thinks it's a girl)

Heightened sense of smell ---- check!
Tiredness and desire to take at nap since 9 am ---- check!
Pee all the time, including 2-3 times per night ----- check!
Constipation ----- check!
Grumpiness ---- check! (DH requested I add this one to the list)
Absence of hunger, until after 10 hours of no food ---- check!

The last one is weird, since I was so hungry last time, but hey, I'll take any differences as a positive!

Also, I made an appt with our OBGYN, hopefully June 2nd at about 9 am we'll be seeing a heartbeat!! YAY!!

Frequenting loss related boards is both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because it makes you realize you're not alone, everything you're feeling is perfectly valid and normal, and it helps you find comfort. But it's such a curse as well.

A few months ago I read Marley and Me. I thought it was a great book, I really enjoyed it. When we got pregnant the first time, I had that story in the back of my mind. And then we miscarried. And our puppies were there, and made us laugh. Neela was sitting with me just a few days ago when I was crying on the kitchen floor. I felt very close to the story in the book after what happened, and I want to hold on to that story. After all, they do have 3 healthy kids.

But since then, I've heard so many stories far less successful, that it's just so scary. I've heard all sorts of stories from those wonderful ladies on pregnancy loss boards, and the ones that have found a home in my head are the most tragic ones. I didn't think I would be part of this club to begin with, and turns out I am. I now fear that my membership will "upgrade" to that group of multiple losses, ectopic pregnancies, etc, etc... I'm trying to keep my mind on the positive, and I try to take comfort in that this pregnancy feels different, and the line was darker, etc. But I still can't shake the knot in my stomach.

BUT, I will say this. I'm SO excited to have a pregnancy buddy, haha! That makes things way better. This is going to be awesome!! K, 36 weeks to go, girl!! YAY!!

I like how this post ends on a happy note :)

PS. A friendly reminder: please don't out me on any boards, I'm not ready to tell. Thanks!!

Knot-in-my-stomach nervous. I hate it. I don't feel pregnant yet, just nervous. 4 wks today, one more week to m/c date. This is going to be a long week! Actually, a long couple of weeks until I get an ultrasound... I better go find me some yarn!!

cause I always do, really. The puppies are the greatest alarm clock. I got up, let them out and went to POAS, the one left over from last time. I was so worried about getting a false negative, even more so than I was about about getting a flat out negative. So I did it, and hand it over to DH so he would be the first to see it. He made me wait like 6 minutes for it! But anyways, he turned on the light, saw it, turned it off and turned to me. I knew it was a negative. And he said: big fat positive. OMG!! BFP!!! BFP!!! BFP!!!





Of course, now I'm freaking out. I now realize any little thing I feel from now on, I'll worry. But I'll try to keep it to a minimum. Wish me luck with that! Like right now. I feel a bit of pain in my lower abdomen, and started worrying. Well, I'm pretty sure now it's my gut... HA!

Anyways, girls, you need to help me through this! I don't want to go bonkers!! Thank you for your support through all this, and K, I do hope this is your month too!! Big hugs!!

PS. I'm not telling the boards just yet this time around, so please don't out me. I'd appreciate every comment you choose to leave me here, tough.

that I test today. I'm trying to convince him to wait at least until tomorrow morning. I know the odds of getting a BFP today are like 50-50 at best, and I rather have better odds. According to the box, the accuracy of the test today is 69%, and tomorrow it'll be 83%. I like 83% better. Though at this point it's really delaying the test 10 hours. How does that affect the odds?

Anyways, I haven't had anything to drink in a couple of hours, so hopefully that'll help. I'm torn, I so want to know but I'm aware that most likely it's just too early. I'll let you know what happens.

Edit: We'll wait till tomorrow morning.

I have a new lurker. DH read my last post this morning, and decided to lurk from now on. I hadn't mentioned the cramps to him, and now he's getting excited too and wants to know all about it. Sooo, hi my love!!

Anyways, we decided we're testing early again, this Wednesday. We're going to Tucson tomorrow to pick up some furniture a friend is selling to us, and we'll be back Wednesday morning. DH demands to be the first one to look at the test this time around, ha! He can certainly do it, I don't mind.

So, Wednesday afternoon we'll know. I'll be (from my calculations) 10 dpo. I really just want to be done with it one way or another, but I hope we get a BFP. Who knows what will happen, we'll just have to wait to Wednesday.

Edit: DH says he is not a lurker, since he gives his comments directly to the source.

I'll post a long post about the trip with lots of cool pics, but right now I'm really tired. I did want to post about cramps. I've been crampy. Like last-time crampy... Unless insatiable hunger kicks in, I won't test, but I'm feeling a bit hopeful. I'm also feeling a bit guilty for the drink till it's pink week, but oh well!

Both DH and I are getting excited, actually, but cautiously. We were talking about telling his parents right away if we're pregnant. They're coming in 10 days and it'll be my MIL's birthday, and there's no way we'll be able to keep quiet if they're right in front of us.

Anyways, I just wanted to record the crampiness. We'll know in a few days.

Today was just another day. Like any other day, I took the girls out on a walk, scooped the poop, watched TV. We're leaving tomorrow, so I had a lot of cleaning to do to leave the house somewhat decent for the guys that are dog sitting for us. I knew it was Mother's Day, but I didn't think about it much. I didn't even call my mom this morning, I figured I would call when DH got here so he could say hello too.

One thing was different though. DH and I had a fight this morning. Fiona, in her excitement to get her front paws on dad's lap, got her paws on the table. He caught her paws and held them, and let her kiss him. And I snapped. I yelled, I got off the table, closed my laptop (quite dramatically) and walked away to the bedroom. I sat on the bed, angry because he was letting our daughter get her paws on the table, and rewarding her with a kiss. Ok, maybe I have something of a case, but my reaction was way over the top! I just stayed in the bedroom and read my book for a while, until DH had breakfast ready. He left for work and I didn't think about it anymore.

Well, he came back, and took a long while to kiss me, so I assumed he was still mad, and that made me mad. I grabbed the phone to call my mom. My mom only speaks Spanish, and DH is nowhere near fluent. I asked him if he wanted to say hi, and he said "sure, it'll be a short conversation! but I'll do it" I just went outside to call her. I called her, she was at my brother's, so I said congrats to one of my sisters-in-law. Got on the phone with my other sister-in-law, said congrats too, and she said: "Hopefully we'll be able to congratulate you next year". And I thought "yeah, I hope I'm at least pregnant by then".

DH had to go pick up a cooler for our trip, so I decided to stay and start making dinner. I was fine, just chopping pork chops, and all of the sudden it hit me. I just started crying. Damn, people would be congratulating me today if I was still pregnant. Everyone would know by now, and even if they didn't, what better occasion to tell people that you're 11 weeks pregnant than Mother's Day. I was heating the pan, but I was crying., I had to turn it off. I just sat on the kitchen floor, crying my eyes out. Neela stayed with me most of the time, curious at what was wrong with mom, trying to play and trying to eat my tissue. I just sat there for about 15 minutes before DH got home. He walked in and said "well, as so many say, drink till it's pink!" holding a six pack, and he saw me on the floor. He asked what was wrong, and I said "it's Mother's Day". And I was crying again.

He knew what was going on, he was expecting it. He says he figured it out on his way to work, after our stupid dog-parenting fight. He even got us beer thinking we'd need it later. He's my man. We had a family time in the kitchen floor with our puppies, while mommy quietly cried for a little while.

Today was just another day. Like any other day, I took the girls out on a walk , scooped the poop, watched TV. Except it's Mother's Day, and I'm not celebrating.

DH and I are going to be out of town for a week. We're going to leave the puppies home and we're hitting the road alone. Destination: Capitol Reef National Park. DH is giving a training, and we're taking a couple of days to visit a few other parks. Yay!!

We need the time away, I think. I'm on edge all the time and bite his head off every single day now... It happened last time on the 2 weeks waiting (2ww) as well, and I seriously need a chill out pill!

On other news, I felt something today that could've been ovulation. It only lasted a few seconds, and it usually lasts a couple of hours, but it felt pretty much like it always feels. But maybe I'm fooling myself...

Anyways, I will post again next Sunday. Have a great week!!

I don't think this month is going to be our month. The month we got pregnant I was so attuned with my body, I knew everything that was happening. I just don't feel like that this month. I haven't had any more obvious CM ( I don't actually go looking for it, it ehem, finds it's way out). I had almost imperceptible pain that could have been ovulation, but it was 5 days before time and not like the usual pain I get. I'm supposed to ovulate tomorrow, but I just don't feel it. I just have a bad feeling.

Maybe I'm trying to protect myself from being disappointed when and if AF shows up, I don't know. I'm just not feeling it... :(

I think I'm pretty close to ovulating. I haven't felt O pain yet, but CM is getting to the right point... I hope it happens soon. I know I'm going to be so anxious the rest of the month... which is why I need some serious distraction for the 2 weeks waiting. What I did last time was knit. I plan on crocheting this time around. I'll probably buy some yarn tomorrow and start on some project yet to be determined for the next couple of days. We're going on an extended "weekend" trip next week, and that should keep me busy too.

I'm so nervous about it though. I KNOW I'm going to drive myself crazy whether I want to or not, and to top it off the in-laws are visiting in 3 weeks. They don't know about the m/c, but I doubt we can keep our mouths shut if we are lucky enough to get pregnant this month. If not, we're still telling them we're trying. Also, we know what in-laws visiting means: some serious house cleaning! Yikes!

Anyways, back on topic (did I really have one??): must find patterns to crochet, and must be attuned with body so I feel O pain. Wish me luck!

I know it's not much, and to most it's more of a ridiculous milestone, but I don't care. It's our anniversary and we celebrated with lingerie and baby making. We don't even care that it's not a prime day yet, HA!

Happy 6-month anniversary to my fellow November 1st ladies, I hope you had as much fun as we did!

PS. Was that TMI??