1.2.11
1.5.11
1.9.11
I think her little legs are a bit fuller every day and so cute!
Nursing Pains:
Scarlett's bloody spit up from my bleeding nipples. . . . . There were tears and prayers but alas, we pulled through and survived and Scarlett is a very well fed baby.
Why do life sustaining, natural functions have to be so painful?
I know this picture is blurry, but Ezra and Madi look so cute together!
Cute Kiddos!
Her cord fell off today; yay! Now here's her first real bath!
1.16.11
Ezra climbed up on a chair and helped me wash her. He was very gentle and careful with his wash cloth. I couldn't believe how Scarlett fell asleep while I was washing her. This is one easy-going baby girl . . . . so far!
And then pictures. . . . the many expressions of Scarlett
This was the last time she wore this onsie. It was a preemie size, which I had gotten for her to wear home from the hospital. She left the hospital weighing 6.6 lbs and was 8.something by her 10 day check up. She has continued to gain weight like a champ!
A friend in my ward made this for me as a gift. She got the picture off of my facebook album and then created this cute scrapbook page. I should have sent this out as Scarlett's birth announcement.
Chris convinced me that a birth announcement was unnecessary since we had just mailed out Christmas cards, letting people know we were soon having a baby girl. I just didn't have it in me to turn around and send out another card. (Darn, Scarlett is already getting skimped on by having a birthday close to Christmas!) I'm going to blame it on facebook. I figured why mail out one picture when someone can see several on facebook if they want, or eventually several, on our blog. Oh, but I do wish I had mailed out an announcement. Sorry Scarlett.
*
Ezra was willing to hold Scarlett for the first time . . . . for about one minute. ;)
He did a great job.
His smile in these photos makes me laugh. As he held his baby sister and could feel the responsibility, his uneasiness from her squirming and tipping and threatening to cry, and yet he was willing and knew this was supposed to be a happy and exciting thing but didn't really like it. Maybe it is just funny to me because I can remember how he was so excited and then so wanting to be done and yet cooperative enough to let me snap a few pictures while he forced a smile. Funny boy. He is a good boy.
1.18.11
1.21.11
She is filling out and growing so fast! I am grateful for a healthy baby, but it kind of makes me sad how fast she is growing.
*
I think her little legs are a bit fuller every day and so cute!
Nursing Pains:
Scarlett's bloody spit up from my bleeding nipples. . . . . There were tears and prayers but alas, we pulled through and survived and Scarlett is a very well fed baby.Why do life sustaining, natural functions have to be so painful?
I know this picture is blurry, but Ezra and Madi look so cute together!
Cute Kiddos!Her cord fell off today; yay! Now here's her first real bath!
1.16.11Ezra climbed up on a chair and helped me wash her. He was very gentle and careful with his wash cloth. I couldn't believe how Scarlett fell asleep while I was washing her. This is one easy-going baby girl . . . . so far!
And then pictures. . . . the many expressions of Scarlett
This was the last time she wore this onsie. It was a preemie size, which I had gotten for her to wear home from the hospital. She left the hospital weighing 6.6 lbs and was 8.something by her 10 day check up. She has continued to gain weight like a champ!A friend in my ward made this for me as a gift. She got the picture off of my facebook album and then created this cute scrapbook page. I should have sent this out as Scarlett's birth announcement.
Chris convinced me that a birth announcement was unnecessary since we had just mailed out Christmas cards, letting people know we were soon having a baby girl. I just didn't have it in me to turn around and send out another card. (Darn, Scarlett is already getting skimped on by having a birthday close to Christmas!) I'm going to blame it on facebook. I figured why mail out one picture when someone can see several on facebook if they want, or eventually several, on our blog. Oh, but I do wish I had mailed out an announcement. Sorry Scarlett.*
Ezra was willing to hold Scarlett for the first time . . . . for about one minute. ;)
He did a great job.
His smile in these photos makes me laugh. As he held his baby sister and could feel the responsibility, his uneasiness from her squirming and tipping and threatening to cry, and yet he was willing and knew this was supposed to be a happy and exciting thing but didn't really like it. Maybe it is just funny to me because I can remember how he was so excited and then so wanting to be done and yet cooperative enough to let me snap a few pictures while he forced a smile. Funny boy. He is a good boy.
1.18.11
1.21.11She is filling out and growing so fast! I am grateful for a healthy baby, but it kind of makes me sad how fast she is growing.
*
It was just another crazy busy night as Chris got home from work just in time to change and rush back out the door to a meeting, and Ezra was lucky enough to get to see his daddy for just a minute before he went to bed, so Ezra ran over to Chris and pulled on his pant leg as Chris was getting his shoes on to leave and said: "Thanks for visiting Daddy . . . . wait, wait, wait, you almost forgot a hug. (He laughs) That's silly!" And then Ezra gave him the cutest squeeze around his neck and a kiss on the cheek. My cute little boy. I got a kick out of how he said "Thanks for visiting" and I love that my little boy is affectionate and willing to go get the affection he needs.
*
1.23.11
This sweet little face makes staying up all night seem like a sweet deal. ;)
She is my sweetie pie.
*
Fun times.
With Ezra I was pretty much on a routine, a schedule, things in life returned to an orderly manner pretty quickly, etc. What can I say other than extreme behavior requires extreme measures. Ezra is still one of those kids that really needs a routine, a schedule and a lot of sleep. Scarlett is a little more easy-going/flexible and does not follow a schedule. So while that is nice (less crying and screaming and some flexibility) it also has its challenges - less sleep at night. So with my level of sleep deprivation things definitely got a little more care-free around our house. So I had to decide early on that rather than be grumpy about being so tired, why not enjoy the delirium and be goofy?! So goofy we were. We ate popsicles, rocked out to "Mickey Mouse Club House" CD, and just let go and laughed quite often. Ezra would get silly and goofy and tell the silliest jokes that made me laugh because they made no sense but he thought they were so funny. Scarlett seemed to enjoy the entertainment we provided. And Ezra loves to dance so turning on music seems to be fun for everyone, although then I can't get Ezra to do anything else until he has worn himself out and can't dance another step. He'll just tell me "Mom, I can't, I have to dance. I'm still dancing!" And I'm so glad my hubby didn't put any pressure on me this time around. I know he didn't mean to with our first child, and those were my own expectations and issues, but this time around we have embraced the chaos and mess and are trying to not put any unnecessary pressure on ourselves. Time just goes by too fast.
*
*
1.23.11This sweet little face makes staying up all night seem like a sweet deal. ;)
She is my sweetie pie.
*
Fun times.
With Ezra I was pretty much on a routine, a schedule, things in life returned to an orderly manner pretty quickly, etc. What can I say other than extreme behavior requires extreme measures. Ezra is still one of those kids that really needs a routine, a schedule and a lot of sleep. Scarlett is a little more easy-going/flexible and does not follow a schedule. So while that is nice (less crying and screaming and some flexibility) it also has its challenges - less sleep at night. So with my level of sleep deprivation things definitely got a little more care-free around our house. So I had to decide early on that rather than be grumpy about being so tired, why not enjoy the delirium and be goofy?! So goofy we were. We ate popsicles, rocked out to "Mickey Mouse Club House" CD, and just let go and laughed quite often. Ezra would get silly and goofy and tell the silliest jokes that made me laugh because they made no sense but he thought they were so funny. Scarlett seemed to enjoy the entertainment we provided. And Ezra loves to dance so turning on music seems to be fun for everyone, although then I can't get Ezra to do anything else until he has worn himself out and can't dance another step. He'll just tell me "Mom, I can't, I have to dance. I'm still dancing!" And I'm so glad my hubby didn't put any pressure on me this time around. I know he didn't mean to with our first child, and those were my own expectations and issues, but this time around we have embraced the chaos and mess and are trying to not put any unnecessary pressure on ourselves. Time just goes by too fast.
*
Chris' Birthday!
Breakfast:
Ezra is into arts and crafty things these days, so he had fun making his daddy's birthday card. And surprisingly, I think I got more done back then because Scarlett slept so much during the day. (I think I cooked more then, than I do now!)
The expression "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach", definitely applies to my hubby. I think I just cooked all day but that is all he wanted. When I ask him what he wants for his birthday or Christmas, the first thing he always says is a good, home cooked meal. He is my sweet homebody that enjoys the simple things in life. I'm much better at service than gift giving, so this works well for me. I never know what to get my hubby! (Or anyone else for that matter! I just don't know what to get and I worry how it reflects my feelings. I think of things, but then think they aren't good enough.) He doesn't get excited about practical or every day things, and I can't go out and buy him a sheep hunt, so pretty much, that leaves food. Just kidding. He doesn't ever want or ask for much when it comes to things. He is happy to be home and enjoys a home-cooked meal, as simple as that. ;)
1.25.11
I had a thoughtless moment when I made his ice-cream cake; it was quite comical when I pulled it out of the freezer and saw it had melted instead of set up. I wasn't thinking and put the lid on the cake stand, which nicely sealed in the warm air around the cake. :) Oh well. We laughed. Chris is a great antidote/balance to my tendency to want to freak out over my many imperfections.
I have appreciated his sensitivity and support during this time of transition for our family and I of course always have the desire to do some grand gesture to adequately show my love for him, but really, I have yet to come up with the grand gesture that seems adequate. I am a believer that romance and love are in the every day gestures and how we treat each other every day. It sure would be fun to be a great gift giver though. I want my hubby to feel special, loved, appreciated, and most of all I just want him to be happy with our life together. :) I am grateful for my man who is so happy and ready to be a husband and father. He is happy to be home with his wife and children and has righteous desires out of life. He is patient and forgiving and steady as I can sometimes be emotional and a worrier and up and down as I experience the post-partum hormones and fatigue. He is my calm and steady man with a quiet strength that I know I need.
My husband turning 38 was a weird thing for me. I had some unexpected emotions. (Most likely due to the fact I had just had a baby and not much sleep though.) But as I realize he is closer to the big 4-0-, I felt suddenly aware that we are not going to be young forever. Our age difference has really never even been a thought or an issue or anything to cross my mind in the 10 years that he has been in my life. But I had this unexpected moment as I made his birthday cake, (luckily he was at work and not around to see my random emotional moment) that I felt washed over with sadness as I had to face the fact for the first time that my husband was getting older, and older than me. I'm not saying I think he is old, 38 is still so young! I'm just saying, I realized it was going to happen. I love this man so much, I need him, he is the father of my children, my companion for life and eternity, I just was saddened at the thought of him even getting older. I think we all have that thought eventually. And of course the fact that I am going to age is a part of that too. The golden years don't look so golden. Oh, see what I mean, I am ridiculous. I get one thought and before I know it I am crying about something that isn't going to happen for many, many more years! So anyway, it is what it is. We all get older and if anything it just motivated me to want to make the most of the present! Life goes by so fast.
Carpe Diem!
*
My mom flew in for the last bit of January and it was so wonderful to have her with us. Ezra soaked up as much attention and playing time with Grandma Grimaud as he possibly could.
Scarlett at 1 month old.
I couldn't believe how fast the first month flew by!
On our way to take my mom back to the airport, we stopped for lunch in La Madeleine. My mom and I dream of going to France together, and it may never happen, but we can pretend with our little lunch visits to places like La Madeleine. It was also nice to have my mom there to help with Scarlett so I could give my Ezra more hands on attention. He definitely wants to be held and carried and hugged more, ever since Scarlett's arrival and seeing that someone else is now taking up my arms and hands. So he pretty much went from "don't touch me, I want to do everything on my own" to "hold me, hold me!" The hardest part of having two so far, is by far the mommy guilt that I feel. I always feel that I'm neglecting one of my kids. Either Ezra is crying because he wants more from me, or Scarlett is crying while I help Ezra. I have got to toughen up inside and learn how to do my best without feeling sooooo very sad and guilty that I can't just be 100 times more for each individual in my family. It really pains me to have to put Scarlett down and I feel frustrated that I can't just hold her and savor her as much as I want. But then I feel horrible for neglecting Ezra while I am nursing and rocking and changing Scarlett. And I'm not really doing much for my hubby. So ya know, I am happy and at peace, but I have just wanted to be more to give my family more love, quality time, and attention. It never feels even close to being enough. My ideal, and my reality, are pretty far from each other and I'm realizing my ideal may not be possible and I haven't quite figured out how to accept that quite yet.
*
So tiny, so precious. My sweet Scarlett.
I love how this baby girl holds on to me.
I am so thankful for the physical and emotional sustainment I have received. I was really worried about having high anxiety after Scarlett's birth, but I have felt very blessed and so grateful for a sense of happiness, peace, and a heart full of love and gratitude. It has been a wonderful time having this new baby girl in our home.
Just because they made me smile. :)
I woke up and couldn't help but smile when I saw the beautiful roses my hubby gave me. Having a new baby in the home is better than anything else. So much sweetness and happiness and love filled our home. I joked that if every baby and birth experience and infant's health and demeanor were like Scarlett's, I would have 10 more! I think it was the love and wonderful high of this time that made me say such things. If only life could stay in this "new" phase; life would be a fairytale then. I do wish the newborn phase could last just a bit longer. Maybe it is something chemical within my body that happens after I have a baby, instead of a post-partum depression I have a post-partum high, but it is the best time for me. I feel so happy, grateful, and spiritually in tune. Life seems more simple, more beautiful. I feel so full of peace and love. So I just enjoy it for as long as I possibly can . . . . . everything has a season.
*
Breakfast:
Ezra is into arts and crafty things these days, so he had fun making his daddy's birthday card. And surprisingly, I think I got more done back then because Scarlett slept so much during the day. (I think I cooked more then, than I do now!)The expression "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach", definitely applies to my hubby. I think I just cooked all day but that is all he wanted. When I ask him what he wants for his birthday or Christmas, the first thing he always says is a good, home cooked meal. He is my sweet homebody that enjoys the simple things in life. I'm much better at service than gift giving, so this works well for me. I never know what to get my hubby! (Or anyone else for that matter! I just don't know what to get and I worry how it reflects my feelings. I think of things, but then think they aren't good enough.) He doesn't get excited about practical or every day things, and I can't go out and buy him a sheep hunt, so pretty much, that leaves food. Just kidding. He doesn't ever want or ask for much when it comes to things. He is happy to be home and enjoys a home-cooked meal, as simple as that. ;)
1.25.11I had a thoughtless moment when I made his ice-cream cake; it was quite comical when I pulled it out of the freezer and saw it had melted instead of set up. I wasn't thinking and put the lid on the cake stand, which nicely sealed in the warm air around the cake. :) Oh well. We laughed. Chris is a great antidote/balance to my tendency to want to freak out over my many imperfections.
I have appreciated his sensitivity and support during this time of transition for our family and I of course always have the desire to do some grand gesture to adequately show my love for him, but really, I have yet to come up with the grand gesture that seems adequate. I am a believer that romance and love are in the every day gestures and how we treat each other every day. It sure would be fun to be a great gift giver though. I want my hubby to feel special, loved, appreciated, and most of all I just want him to be happy with our life together. :) I am grateful for my man who is so happy and ready to be a husband and father. He is happy to be home with his wife and children and has righteous desires out of life. He is patient and forgiving and steady as I can sometimes be emotional and a worrier and up and down as I experience the post-partum hormones and fatigue. He is my calm and steady man with a quiet strength that I know I need.
My husband turning 38 was a weird thing for me. I had some unexpected emotions. (Most likely due to the fact I had just had a baby and not much sleep though.) But as I realize he is closer to the big 4-0-, I felt suddenly aware that we are not going to be young forever. Our age difference has really never even been a thought or an issue or anything to cross my mind in the 10 years that he has been in my life. But I had this unexpected moment as I made his birthday cake, (luckily he was at work and not around to see my random emotional moment) that I felt washed over with sadness as I had to face the fact for the first time that my husband was getting older, and older than me. I'm not saying I think he is old, 38 is still so young! I'm just saying, I realized it was going to happen. I love this man so much, I need him, he is the father of my children, my companion for life and eternity, I just was saddened at the thought of him even getting older. I think we all have that thought eventually. And of course the fact that I am going to age is a part of that too. The golden years don't look so golden. Oh, see what I mean, I am ridiculous. I get one thought and before I know it I am crying about something that isn't going to happen for many, many more years! So anyway, it is what it is. We all get older and if anything it just motivated me to want to make the most of the present! Life goes by so fast.
Carpe Diem!
*
My mom flew in for the last bit of January and it was so wonderful to have her with us. Ezra soaked up as much attention and playing time with Grandma Grimaud as he possibly could.
Scarlett at 1 month old.I couldn't believe how fast the first month flew by!
On our way to take my mom back to the airport, we stopped for lunch in La Madeleine. My mom and I dream of going to France together, and it may never happen, but we can pretend with our little lunch visits to places like La Madeleine. It was also nice to have my mom there to help with Scarlett so I could give my Ezra more hands on attention. He definitely wants to be held and carried and hugged more, ever since Scarlett's arrival and seeing that someone else is now taking up my arms and hands. So he pretty much went from "don't touch me, I want to do everything on my own" to "hold me, hold me!" The hardest part of having two so far, is by far the mommy guilt that I feel. I always feel that I'm neglecting one of my kids. Either Ezra is crying because he wants more from me, or Scarlett is crying while I help Ezra. I have got to toughen up inside and learn how to do my best without feeling sooooo very sad and guilty that I can't just be 100 times more for each individual in my family. It really pains me to have to put Scarlett down and I feel frustrated that I can't just hold her and savor her as much as I want. But then I feel horrible for neglecting Ezra while I am nursing and rocking and changing Scarlett. And I'm not really doing much for my hubby. So ya know, I am happy and at peace, but I have just wanted to be more to give my family more love, quality time, and attention. It never feels even close to being enough. My ideal, and my reality, are pretty far from each other and I'm realizing my ideal may not be possible and I haven't quite figured out how to accept that quite yet.*
So tiny, so precious. My sweet Scarlett.
I love how this baby girl holds on to me.I am so thankful for the physical and emotional sustainment I have received. I was really worried about having high anxiety after Scarlett's birth, but I have felt very blessed and so grateful for a sense of happiness, peace, and a heart full of love and gratitude. It has been a wonderful time having this new baby girl in our home.
Just because they made me smile. :)I woke up and couldn't help but smile when I saw the beautiful roses my hubby gave me. Having a new baby in the home is better than anything else. So much sweetness and happiness and love filled our home. I joked that if every baby and birth experience and infant's health and demeanor were like Scarlett's, I would have 10 more! I think it was the love and wonderful high of this time that made me say such things. If only life could stay in this "new" phase; life would be a fairytale then. I do wish the newborn phase could last just a bit longer. Maybe it is something chemical within my body that happens after I have a baby, instead of a post-partum depression I have a post-partum high, but it is the best time for me. I feel so happy, grateful, and spiritually in tune. Life seems more simple, more beautiful. I feel so full of peace and love. So I just enjoy it for as long as I possibly can . . . . . everything has a season.
*
