Our Journey to 5: An Adoption Story

Time to travel from Almaty to NYC door to door: 22.5 hours
Chocolates purchased in Amsterdam airport: 20 Euros
Length of Delay for extra security check in Amersterstam: 1.5 hours
Amount of Hours I Slept During Entire Trip Home: 1.5 hours
Number of Movies I watched on Plane: 2
Number of times we thought of Batyrhan on the plane: Too many to count
Number of times we thought of Emma and Eden on the plane: Too many to count

Getting Hugged by our Daughters after not seeing them for 18 days: PRICELESS!!

Today was our last day with Batyrhan and while I was dreading its arrival, the visit was as good as it could have been under the chaos of our final day.

Batyrhan was brought in to us today by his caregiver, Jameela, in an adorable court jester outfit in celebration of New Years, a very big celebration here. He was adorable and I'm so glad I was able to snap a photo before he pulled his hat off.

The visit was busy because we were in the same room as our Belgian friends with their adorable babies. We had already warned them that Batyrhan would invade their toy areas, and that he did. His curiosity and friendliness are easy qualities to be around but not when we are trying to help these new parents bond with their children as well. I didn't want Batyrhan to interfere so once again it was a visit filled with a lot of redirecting.

We had an unbelievable opportunity today to watch a Children's Show here at the Baby House to celebrate the coming of the new year. It was in the music room, now decorated for the show with more tinsel and greenery, and involved the practicing children from the other day. This time they were dressed up in elaborate costumes, including the Kazakh version of Santa Claus and his snow princess. The show was impressive -- the children's voices clear and loud, their dances skilled. I was holding back my tears. They performed in front of the Head Director, many of the caregivers, other children, our translator and us. There might have been a few parents in the room - there were 4 or 5 people whose role I could not place. Sadly the orphanage is often used as a holding place for parents who can not care for their children. Batyrhan's group comprised part of the audience and they were all decked out in costumes -- they looked like very well made Halloween costumes of princesses or tigers or kings. Some of the children from Batyrhan's group were special needs. There were some 4 and 5 years old performing and it left me wondering why they have been the forgotten ones. How did time pass for them? How has Batyrhan been so lucky and will the others ever get a chance? I was unable to take photos. And this is fine. This image will surely not leave me.

At the same time that I felt a sadness, I have to admit that I saw an amazing love of the caregivers for the children. Even while watching the show with a restless Batyrhan in my arms, his caregiver Jameela, a women I previously hadn't seen but in passing, would often take him from me to relieve me. I allowed her, not feeling she was stepping on my shoes. There was something about her that reminded me of my Grandma Elsie - something in her gait, for surely my grandmother was not Asian. But I felt a connection to her and was happy during the 20 minutes of the portion of the show we saw, to switch back and forth caring for Batyrhan. In these moments, with a squirming Batyrhan on my hands, I didn't feel judged at all. I felt like a normal mom watching a show with a Grandma nearby.

When we said goodbye, Jameela spoke to us in Kazakh while Bolat translated. I wish we had it on video, and Gary said the same. It was a moment I shall not forget yet I can not remember all that she said. Our hands were clasped and she looked at us when she spoke wishing us a good life and a happy new year and a speedy return. She kept repeating "We will wait for you!" She told us "Batyrhan will run to you next time you come. You will see! We wait for you!" We took a photo together and she was concerned about her hair. We thanked her for taking such good care of Batyrhan. We told her he has two sisters to come home to and she replied that he will love them. We told her he will have a wonderful life in America. And she agreed.

It was time to kiss Batyrhan good bye and it was nearing his nap time so he was getting cranky. It happened in an instant and came upon us too suddenly. It was a bumbled and fumbling goodbye in which I fell forward and my front teeth sunk into his cheek. He didn't cry but I could tell he felt it. I kissed him all over his smooth cheeks and said to him over and over "Don't forget us. We're coming back. Don't forget us." He waved and blew kisses and then he was gone. The door was slightly ajar and as his little body toddled off holding the hand of his caregiver I saw his flapping arm still waving goodbye. Another caregiver must have taken him because Jameela was just outside the door when we finally packed up to leave the playroom. I shook her hand again and we said thank you and Spasiba and then she pulled me towards her in a strong embrace. It was a moment without a translator but no translation was necessary.







We spent the rest of the day shopping for souvenirs and eating horse meat (the last I will ever have in my life) and trying to push aside the fact that we are leaving a little boy behind. I started getting nasty and cranky as the day wore on and I wonder if it was this emotional roller coaster just bubbling under my surface.

We are packed and ready to be picked up at our hotel at 7 am. It will be pitch black just as it was when we arrived 16 days ago. Only this time I will not be afraid. Gary and I have both left a part of our hearts here and his name is Batyrhan.

Emma and Eden, with joy in our hearts, we come home to you! Tomorrow you will be in our arms and watching movies in our bed just as we promised.

Paka Paka ... See you back on the other side!

Trust grows with each brick laid.

Today was the best day yet and now I can honestly say that it is breaking my heart to leave. I didn't take many photos at all today but what transpired was felt within Gary's and my heart intensely. I saw the future and the future looked bright.

A couple of caregivers passed through our music room and engaged with Batyrhan. Batyrhan was climbing on ledges and chairs and piano stools. He whined a bit and threw toys. There were times he didn't want me to hold him and times he lifted his arms for me. He pulled some toys off shelves. Stickers were eaten. Stickers on my nose were laughed at. Bolat's cell phones were enticing to Batyrhan. Candy was eaten, juice was spilled, there were tears. Typical boy stuff, yes. And, finally I now see that it all felt normal. There was the beginning of something else beneath the surface of everything that was boyish and typically toddler. Beautiful and long awaited, Batyrhan finally appeared to trust us.

I can't describe the events of today because it doesn't make a difference, all these little things. It was a feeling. Batyrhan required help and he came to us. He knows he drinks water on my lap so when he found the water bottle, he turned backwards and plopped on my lap. He knows already when Gary says "I'm gonna getcha!" and his giggles show that he anticipates the 'grab, tickle and lift.' He loves to build and played with blocks and shows when he needs help. He listens to our English commands when we ask for him to "give Mama" or "give Daddy" something. Whereas on Day 1 he was very adamant that I not touch his skin underneath his shirt (he gave me forceful shoves), today he allowed me to tickle his back high up his shirt while he laid on my lap and he even giggled a few times. He plays with Bolat and even went easily to Tatiana when she visited us, but always, he comes back to Mom and Dad.

Towards the end of the visit, he was frustrated with being told "jok"(no) about climbing behind the piano and seemed to be getting tired. After dropping to the floor in sadness and burying his head in the ground in a sort of "downward dog" pose, he cried real sad tears. The first I have heard since Day 1. His cry was heartbreaking and he allowed himself to be picked up by me and consoled. For minutes as he continued crying, he did not push away from me and my holding him and my gentle murmurs and mothering touch. Even when Gary tried to take him from me to distract him with a toy, he stayed put and looked at me crying. I smelled his little breath and it was fine and pleasant and all my own. Finally, he stopped and went to Gary to play.

When it came time for Bolat to take him back to his group, Batyrhan grabbed for my hand and Gary's and walked us toward the door, like the way we have walked together outside in the snow as a family of three. He seemed reluctant as we walked towards the door, knowing. I bent down to give him a hug and multiple kisses on his cheeks and then he went to Gary for a hug and kiss. And then, unprovoked, he came back to me for more hugs and kisses and then back to Gary again and took our hands again. We could not walk him back to his group so Bolat picked him up and Batyrhan kept waving to us and maintaining eye contact with both of us in the darkness of the hallway. Even Bolat said "I see him pass from caregiver to caregiver without a problem, but today I saw that he did not want to leave you."

Tonight I feel sadness in my heart that tomorrow is the last day I will see him for about a month. Just when progress was being made, there will be a halt. I will miss him very much and wish he could understand we are coming back. I see the reason for his biting -- two more teeth on the bottom are coming in and I will not be here to see them grow. I made photos of us and enlarged them to the size of magazine pages and the caregivers will tape them near his bed. Yes, it's a bed and I had no idea.

Our little boy sleeps in a bed, not a crib like I had thought. I was not able to go personally today to see where he sleeps but Bolat took some photos for me and some video too.




Photo of me, Batyrhan and Tatiana right before she was leaving for America.


Batyrhan enjoys Bolat very much and here they enjoy some candy together, a gift for a sweet New Year from Tatiana.


And here is our family photo from today. Not perfect because Batyrhan is not looking at the camera, but the fact that he is facing into his Daddy says a lot about the comfort level that is growing ... brick by brick.


Bittersweet feelings emerge from both me and Gary tonight as we figure out what toys will be left behind, what souvenirs will be brought home for our girls, what restaurant meal will be our final one tomorrow and we prepare our camera and video batteries for our final visit with Batyrhan tomorrow morning for a long long time.

More photos to be added tomorrow. This video gives a few minute highlight for now.

I will leave you with one photo until tomorrow.

Let's just say -- it was a first for me.

Fifteen minutes into our visit with Batyrhan today, Gary said to me, "This is 100x better than any day in the past." It was a Saturday and entering the Baby House already felt different. Quiet. I did not see any caregivers at all. I heard no one and saw no families. I had a good feeling about it and as we entered the Music Room the sun was filtering in through the sheer curtains. I laid out some toys and prepared for his arrival.

Earlier in the morning, I had made the decision to buy new toys for Batyrhan. I got the sense the toys we had didn't have enough bells and whistles for him and perhaps that was adding to his restlessness. When adopting in Kazakhstan, it is necessary to bring your own toys for your bonding period, as well as a sheet or mat to play on with your child. Batyrhan seems to like toys that enable him to figure things out and perhaps in almost two weeks he had mastered what we brought. Other toys that were available in the music room all have their batteries removed, so I also armed myself with some batteries to bring too. He was intrigued yesterday with the bright toys of the little 13 month old girl in the room. Toys here, even Fisher Price, are about 3x more expensive than at home -- a simple toy could be about $60. We happened to go to Mother Care, a very nice store two blocks from our hotel that sells toys from England and Switzerland with beautiful and extremely expensive Italian children's clothing, and there were some English "talking" toys on sale which brought them back to down to American prices. We bought 4 toys, three of them were V-Tech toys that sang, taught letters, played music and had flashing lights. It was funny that the women's voices in the toys all had British accents. Similar toys that spoke in Russian were not on sale. I didn't want to spend $60 on one Russian speaking Fisher Price toy. I'll see if I can find it in Brighton Beach.

Our translator today was the young 24 year old who we had last Saturday as well. He is the son of Aigul, another adoption coordinator. He studied at Oxford University for a year and seems to like to practice his English -- he's a polite and lovely well dressed guy who drives a Mercedes and wear $500 Italian shoes. Our ride was nice and reminded me of the comfort of our first few days driving in Tatiana's Lexus. He walks down the little hallway holding Batyrhan's hand and Gary and I are waiting for him with open arms. Interestingly, though Batyrhan has only seen this particular translator just once before, he kept looking back at him as if to say "Is this okay? Should I go?" Batyrhan smiled but still appeared shy so I approached him and took his hand and gently brought him over to the play area.

We only had a 55 minute visit today. I can say that for now it couldn't have gone better. For 90% of our time together, Batyrhan stayed with us on the sheet playing with the toys. He didn't interact with us very much specifically but he played with the toys very well (building blocks and buttons and balls that you insert into a tube). When he took a pull toy and wandered around the room with it, he eventually came back to plop on Gary's lap.

I took the advice of Katherine and brought some hand cream and tried to give Batyrhan a little hand massage and then put some on his back also. He seemed intrigued by it but it only lasted a minute. I even had him put some on my own hand. Additionally, I have recently had acupuncture and learned about the "peaceful point" right on your forehead that, with pressure there, makes one feel calm. I took a dot of cream and he allowed me to place some and massage a little circle on his head.

Shortly after that, out come a juice box. I took a sip first and then helped him try this sweet banana drink. I squeezed the box until some came up from the straw and then he appeared to get the hang of it. He did not stop drinking -- his eyes were sort of focused into the distance and he just kept sucking and sucking and sucking and also squeezing the juice everywhere. Made me wonder what the caregivers would think when he came back smelling like a wet banana.




For much of the visit, I was sitting behind Batyrhan with him in between my open V legs. When I went to move to the side so that I could see him, he actually pushed me away from him and continued playing with his toy. A few seconds later, he gave a sudden out of the blue laugh and hit me fairly hard on the chest about three times. Gary and I could not figure out if he was being playful or meant it to be aggressive. Later on, while drinking his juice, he actually came back to me and plopped on my lap unsolicited. Perhaps he's getting the sense we do like to be with him when he's eating.

The visit ended fairly quickly -- we had not been told of the short visit in advance. But it ended before we felt we were even ready and that is a great feeling.

The room was quiet, the new age appropriate toys were perfect for Batyrhan, not one caregiver entered our room and not one noise was heard in the building at all. Batyrhan showed himself to be a boy who actually could sit and build with big legos and press buttons and enjoy his pull toys. He showed himself to play independently and concentrate. He also showed himself to be someone who requires and accepts help. He placed Gary's hand on a toy he needed help with and he also lifted up his arms to be lifted from his laying down position, even though he could have easily gotten up on his own. Teaching him to depend on us is tantamount and we happily comply.

Both Gary and I felt peaceful with Batyrhan. We didn't have to try so hard. We let him play and we watched and joined him. There was no being "on" for any caregivers that may have been in the room. No one came in to speak with him in Kazakh and take his attention away from us which then only made it harder to get back.

When a new caregiver came to get him today, Batyrhan smiled at her and reached for her happily. But Mama and Daddy surely left there with happy hearts.



As my Aunt Evie said to me today, "Rome wasn't built in a day." She is so very right. Today, a few more bricks were laid.



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Aside from our lovely visit with Batyrhan, Gary and I had a lovely time today enjoying lunch at Mad Murphy's ( we hoped to find the Americans people talk about there but at lunch time we were the only patrons but the waitress was one of the friendliest Kazakhs we have met), then walking in Panfilov Park which we really seem to enjoy and was quite beautiful in the sun and snow. We walked back to the pigeon area and took some photos and then entered the old cathedral there as well. After our visit with Batyrhan, our translator took us shopping for boots for Gary and outdoor gear for us. Who would have thought we'd be purchasing ski pants in Kazakhstan! Gary and I are doing an excursion with our translators and 3 Belgian couples tomorrow up to the mountains to a famous Kazakh ski resort called Chimbuluk and then a famous speed skating rink called Medeu. I don't plan on skiing but they might have sledding there. Regardless, we will not lack for warmth. The translators are also cooking for us a traditional Kazakh meal called Shashlyk. When asked what it was, we were simply told "meat." I will let you know tomorrow.

Tonight, we enjoyed an experience at Temujin, a restaurant specializing in Mongolian, Chinese and Japanese and Hibachi. I had not known that the menu would only be in Russian and that no one would speak English at all there. Do you want to know how I ordered my chicken dish after the waitress looked baffled by my speech? I actually resorted to flapping my wings! The dish I hoped for was a hibachi chicken, vegetables and rice. What I got was a cross between Chicken Cordon Bleu and Chicken Marsala. I did get rice! For Gary, he received a very tasty T-bone steak after we "mooed" at the waitress.

Such is life here in this unique land. With a happy heart and excitement for a unique day in the mountains of Kazakhstan tomorrow, I bid you good night and much love for all your support, guidance and love.

Where we usually have our visit at 4pm, today were were called at 8 am and told to be ready for 9:30 am for a morning visit since it's Christmas. When we got in the car, there were the two Belgian couples who we were told about by our coordinator who are also working with the same group of people -- they are Jan, Sabine, Thoma and Marie. They were delightful and I asked if they knew each other before. They actually met on the internet and then had the opportunity to travel together. What a bond will be formed there. The air in the car was full of laughter, talking and translating. They are both bonding with boys -- age 7 and 8 months, respectively, one Russian and one Kazakh. They are both younger than us and told us that when you are under 30 in Belgium, you are guaranteed a younger baby. I still feel that we must have been given the child definitely meant for us, and perhaps I will get the exercise I always didn't make time for with all the up and down i have been doing with a very active toddler in my life.

In one of the play rooms, we finally met the couple from Ohio, Rebecca and Mike, who are adopting a 13 month old girl. I had my video camera out today to capture Batyrhan running to us and with my video camera trained on him, he ran into the room and made a beeline for the little girl sitting on the blanket with new toys. So much for a greeting! So, since the couple didn't mind, for a while we all sat on the same blanket and just let the kids play with toys. But shortly we were up and chasing Batyrhan trying to prevent him from interfering with the seamstress, now working on a pair of pants, while Mike and Rebecca's little girl quietly played with toys and sat on their lap. There was also a partially open door of an office where 8 caregivers in white coats could be seen through the glass walls of the office (and only a sheer curtain) standing on desks and jumping through hoola hoops with one caregiver patting the ass of the one in front of her as she ducked inside the circle of the hoola hoop. Is this a visual! It was quite amusing to see -- they were either working out a lesson plan for a gym class or working on a skit for a show. Either way, when they saw us looking and smiling, one of the woman came out of the door without a smile and closed the curtains better with a quick swish. Ooops. Pazhalusta.

Batyrhan showed no discrimination with us today and the other couple in the room. I was very impressed with Mike, the other dad, who, when Batyrhan lifted up his arms to him as if he was his daddy, simply directed him over to Gary. Batyrhan is now also very comfortable with our translator and raises his arms to be lifted by him. We can see that this might be problematic later on as everyone will want to love and hug him, but in the beginning, the constant passing around, so common usually with new babies, will not serve us well to help us stand out to him as different. Often, even between me and Gary, we see that Batyrhan will struggle and reach out to the other. It has nothing to do with wanting to get to the other, but rather, it appears that he wants to get away from the one holding. I am usually the one who he is struggling to get away from. Today we had a few calm minutes looking out the window at the trees and snowy branches. Musical toys seem to hold Batyrhan's interest well, my singing appears to be torture. I wonder how we will do at a Gymboree class ... He'll need a place like that for running around at least shortly after we get back. My house now seems way too small.

I felt better today - happy to interact with others (the Belgian couples and the ones from Ohio). I also enjoyed being in the playroom for just about 1.25 hours, with a bright sun shining and Batyrhan not as unhappy as yesterday. It felt enjoyable to intersperse the play with discussion with Mike and Rebecca. I have been missing conversation, the English language, rapport. I am getting more conversation with Gary than I have ever gotten in my life and I love it. But I realize I miss interaction with others so badly. Even just normal day to day you'd get in the grocery store at home that satisfies the part of me that enjoys a feeling of "community."

It is just 12:45 pm now on Christmas day. I think we were supposed to have a group dinner but I'm not sure as Bolot seemed caught off guard when we mentioned it again today. Either way, I rather like the morning visit as it was enjoyable, sunny and also appears to give us the rest of the day to explore a bit.

Here are some photos of the day.


Batyrhan loves bringing shoes to their rightful owner.


Family shot on Christmas Day 2009 ;-)


Batyrhan interacting with another little girl's daddy.


Daddy and Son


I was able to read to Batyrhan for just a moment today.


Puffs helped a bit but he still struggled to be free of me.


Batyrhan was fearful of the balls the other day but today enjoyed just chilling out in the ball pit for just a few seconds at a time, but often today.






I do often marvel at his good looks. He has a very sweet face.



Signs of Ball Pit fun to come at children's play centers all over New York.


A little pointy tongue comes out in concentration when he studies toys he likes. The toys have to do something to be fun for him.


There are a few windows that Batyrhan and I go to when he's getting overstimulated. We look out the windows and watch the snow falling from the trees.



With Aida, one of Batyrhan's caregivers, and another caregiver.

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10pm -- I did a lot of thinking today and also have received some great feedback from fellow Kaz moms. I feel like I need a little disclaimer - the entire past week and a half I forgot to take my medicine for my pituitary issue and I have a feeling it added to some mopey-ness the past couple of days. But I remembered tonight and surely it will kick in and regulate me again. My feelings are not made up however -- my concerns are real but I also think, after it being pointed out to me, unfounded in many ways. Batyrhan doesn't know me a full 24 hours yet. Surely, just like everyone else who has adopted, he will learn to love me too. I allowed myself finally to shed a few tears tonight -- the pent up anxiety, my concern for how this will play out at home. I felt better after a late afternoon walk and some site seeing at the Green Market and shopping at the Rahmat (Paxxat) chocolate factory store and then just hanging out in the grocery store for a while shopping for more chocolates and water. Having the morning visit and the whole day ahead of us to move at a slower pace definitely felt better to me and I could feel my spirits lifting more. We had our visit in the morning and then had a late lunch and walk and were out of our hotel a total of about 4 hours this afternoon.

Once back in the hotel, I finally had the wonderful opportunity to speak with my mom for a full hour while the kids are out visiting Gary's family. Since I have been gone, we haven't spoken privately on Skype. It gave me the opportunity to be more frank about my worries and desire to make our attachment grow when I get home. When we finished our Skype call, I felt confident that I can make this work and make systems in my home work to allow him more space. While here, it's true that I am not as much "fun" as Gary is. I don't have the strength or stamina as Gary does to keep lifting 22 lbs above my head to make Batyrhan laugh, though I do it as best as I can. Usually kids like songs like "Wheels on the Bus" because it uses hand movements but he has zero interest in this or even other fun lap games like "See Saw Who's There?" I am coming into this experience with a lot of love in my heart for Batyrhan and also almost 8 years of loving my children intensely and it being received well from Day One. It is not so much the fact that I need him to look me in the eye while here (though he did more of this the first 3 days, likely more from curiosity that has since been satisfied.) It's my concern of whether he will love me and learn well how to be part of a family. I am reminded that once at home, there is a lot less pressure than it is here where there are many watchful eyes. As well, there are so many places we need to watch in these rooms. He is not content on a blanket with a few toys. He wants to explore his environment and surely, back at home, he will have ample opportunity to do so in a very safe environment. In these rooms, though I am told to consider this "play time" there are too many opportunities where it is mandatory where Gary and I re-direct him and "parent" him. Some things that have happened are that he threw a large toy on the 13 year old's head today, he climbs on ledges, opens every door, pushes over small chairs, bangs on pianos with my muddy boots (before Gary caught him), tries to leave the Exit at any opportunity and takes the seamstress's hat and fabric and throws it on the floor. Typical boy stuff? Likely. But it doesn't make it easy when so many people are passing through the rooms to check in and see how you are managing. Today, there must have been 15 caregivers in our room at one point back and forth. The rooms we are in have no cabinet latches and some heat pipes are often exposed or there are things like wooden desks or seamstresses working electric sewing machines or Christmas trees smack in the middle of the room. Even near the ball pit that Batyrhan likes, there are ladders stored behind the pit and metal toy bins and metal structures (some sort of decoration or game?) that are not safe at all. If it was a truly child proofed room, we could more easily sit back and just relax and enjoy him at play. In these spaces, we have to be on top of him a bit.

I will not push my love on him. I will simply love and nurture him and will let nature take its course. Part of my issue is a sort of homesickness. I didn't feel it so much while in Italy with my mom for 13 days. The sun shone and that always helps, plus we were so pampered and well taken care of. Here, we are often on our own either speaking a slow English to our translator and asking them lots of questions about their life or using hand gestures to people who speak no English at all. Often during the day, my heart strings tug thinking of Emma and Eden. Not many people who come half way around the world to adopt leaves very young children at home. I know that likely that has a lot to do with me not feeling like this is one big vacation. I enjoy my time with Gary, my meal experiences, our visits, new adventures. But it's also getting to be a cold winter here and snow covers everything and the walking around that I was looking forward to feels like drudgery sometimes when you just have to keep moving because of the cold. I am sure that during the spring or summer, if I had the chance to sit on a park bench and just enjoy my surroundings instead of to keep walking to maintain a warmth in my bones, it would be a different experience too. I have 4 full days left here in Almaty for Trip #1, with much to accomplish and a lighter feeling about me now that I got this all out. I have never once considered that Batyrhan should not be the son for us, thankfully. I just know that, given his age plus his natural and wonderful curiosity combined with an institutionalization with no primary caregiver, it will be a hard road ahead for a bit. I also know that one day, when he is speaking English and finally genuinely wraps his arms around me, I know my happy tears will flow. If I only had a crystal ball. But I feel in a way that the experiences of my fellow Kaz moms will act as crystal balls. This can and will happen and I just have to go with the flow. Thank you so very much to everyone for your support!! I am being honest here and once again hope that this will not deter anyone to adopt but rather serves to educate about the reality of the real ebb and flow of emotions that happens during the adoption process. I am grateful to all of you who have offered your advice and own experiences. I am going to really enjoy these next few days with a new realistic perspective and the reminder that this time is precious and my time in Almaty in general is fleeting.

Merry Christmas to all my friends who celebrate!

Today Batyrhan greeted us beautifully. When Bolot, our translator, carried him into the room, he then let him down and Batyrhan ran right over to Gary. I had this all on video and it was a wonderful reunion. I then went over and he came easily to me and allowed me to hug and kiss him.

Overall, however, it was a tough visit, which was only about 1.5 hours long and was about 30 minutes too long. Meaning, had we been home we would have gone off to do something else instead of stay inside one room for the final restless and tantrum filled 30 minutes. Batyrhan was exerting an independent spirit today which overall is great, but not when it means he is knocking over chairs in the music room, opening cabinets with things that don't belong to us, and wanting to run around a carpeted room with an open container of Puffs in a home that is not my own. We had a few people pass through the room again today, but just in passing and no one causing any lasting distraction, but even still, we always feel that we are being watched and/or judged.

He seems to prefer Gary and I'm okay with this because I know that one day he will know and appreciate my mothering style just like Emma and Eden do. We put fewer toys out today to help avoid over stimulation. I tried to sing to him again today but he struggled to push away from me. Even still, I held him a bit longer and spoke to him gently telling him that one day he will never even remember that he pushed me away from him, that he will run to me with open arms and feel very connected to me, and then I respected his wishes and placed him down. I know him just a few days but because I have dreamed about him forever, it is hard for me not to take it personally, thinking "is it me?" I know it can't be -- that like all my fellow Kaz moms who have had similar experiences, he will, given time, fall in love with us and open his heart even more. He must have just eaten before he came to us because he ate a few Puffs and that was it, and then threw my offered cookie on the floor. He wanted nothing to do with the books I read, yet while he played with Gary, I just kept reading so he could hear the English language in a fun storybook voice. He wanted nothing to do with sitting on my lap and playing the piano and nothing to do with looking me in my face at all. For the last 30 minutes of our time together, he kept running towards the door that his caregiver enters to get him. I think he was just *done* with us.

There was a couple who passed through our room a few times while we were running after Batyrhan. Winds up they were a family from Spain adopting a 10 month old girl who just peacefully stayed in their arms. Gary looked at me and raised his eyebrows and then mentioned how easy it would be to just bring a 10 month old and have them part of your family. Batyrhan will need to learn how to be part of our family and will need to learn to love me. I can't imagine how the Ergo carrier will go over, but I do promise to do every single thing possible to let him know that I am an important person in his life.

There was a moment during the visit that I wanted to just lay low and let whatever happens between Batyrhan and Gary happen. But then I hear voices of a caregiver entering and I quickly jump to attention and join in the little group so that I don't appear to be 'disconnected' if someone were to enter. I don't think Batyrhan doesn't like me, as he will come up to me and give a hug when asked, but it's his lack of interest in me in general that makes me have some concern. A very cute thing happened after Gary had to say "Jok!" to him yet again. Batyrhan got very very mad and walked away. But then he came back and placed his cheek on Gary's cheek as if to give a hug or embrace. Was it a remorse? We both saw it and we feel there was something very smart happening in that action.

Anyway, I have been told by some Kaz moms to just view the bonding as "play time" and I like that thinking. The only problem is that these rooms are not fully baby proofed (what with small chairs ready to be knocked over, a Christmas tree smack in the center of the room, open heat grills, toys to be pulled off shelves and cabinets with Baby House belongings to be banged open and shut) and with a very curious and typical nearly 2 year old boy who has likely never had such freedom, it is hard to maintain the idea of all play. We chase him a bit and scoop him up and bat at the balloons hanging from the ceiling, but even he tires of these fun games eventually. There are moments when he seems to be figuring a toy out where minutes can pass with this one action, but then the toy is flung aside and we are back to the cabinets or running for the exit.

Overall, I remain firm that I think Batyrhan is a very good and sweet boy. With the same determination, dedication and commitment that I exhibited to get here, I am certain that we can work together as a family so that Batyrhan can be a lovely, fun, joyful addition to our family and our home life and that we can be a source of comfort, love and joy to him as well. It's just gonna take some work and patience.

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Earlier today, Gary and I took a 3 hour walk door to door in the snow to Tsum department store where I bought a few little souvenirs (I'll save most of the souvenir buying for the Green Market) and then on to the surrounding areas and another hotel in the area to check it out. It was hard to walk in the snow and at one point, passing through Panfilov Park, my foot slipped out from underneath me and it was like I was doing a slow motion split but trying to stop myself. I felt like I ripped my thigh muscle and will surely feel it tomorrow even worse.

Tonight, we went to a traditional Kazakh restaurant called Zheruik where I had Mutton Plov and Gary had Beshbarmak with Horse meat. I had a couple of tastes and it was sort of like a roast beef. I was so nervous to try it, because I have seen horrific documentary videos that should have made me never try this. But when in Kazakhstan, do as the Kazakhs do. Forgive me.

Then once again, in order to get home, we had to take a taxi and the restaurant helped us get a local "taxi" - or a paid form of hitchhiking. The first car that stopped had two smoking guys in their late 20's or early 30's and I said to Gary "No way! There are two people." I was so uncomfortable, I just didn't want to do this but Gary, though not thrilled, seemed to trust the process that all the locals do. We finally had a car stop with one smoking guy. A price as arranged (500 Tenge = $3.50) and I told Gary to sit behind the driver thinking he'd put him in a choke hold if God forbid he did anything. I hate thinking like this! Anyway, the driver said "Kazakhstan!" pointing to himself and gestured to us. We said "America!" Gary asked if he spoke English and he shook his head and said "No!" So we sat silently in the car with me interjecting the silence with "Gary, I don't want to take these taxis ever again." It wound up being fine and in fact I felt fine driving, but it goes against everything I was ever taught. This, no seat belts, horse meat. This from a girl who always is cautious. Seems Gary is the adventurous one here. Though I guess my adventure is what got us here in the first place ...

Photos to be added later.

It is 6:20 pm and we are back in our room to rest a bit before heading out to dinner for some real Beshbarmak. Today took the wind out of my sails a bit. The good news is how Batyrhan greeted us -- he was brought to us in the music room by our translator, Bolot, and he squealed with delight. I wish I had the video camera out - I will have to record this tomorrow or the next day. He then fell to his knees and did the cutest waddling fastest crawl to Gary who scooped him up. Gary asked for a hug and I think he got one, sort of. I said "Give Mama a hug" and he came easily to me and allowed himself to be squeezed and kissed.

We were in the Music Room from a few days ago but there was a woman's jacket in there when we arrived. Minutes later the music teacher walked in and in Russian or Kazakh was trying to tell us (it didn't appear polite) that we needed to move to the other side of the room, behind the Christmas tree. If you saw my video from a few days ago, you will note that there is only about 5 feet behind the tree. To make a long story short, it was hard to keep Batyrhan in this area, even with chairs blocking his way. About ten minutes later, 9 little children, approximately age 3-5 walked in and began a music lesson, right in the middle of our visit with very loud music, piano playing and dancing. If they weren't so adorable and their dancing so skilled (they were doing what appeared to be a traditional couples dance), I would have been crying instead of smiling at them. One little boy kept looking at us and smiling and in reference to Batyrhan said "Baby!" and then would giggle. This little boy, about 3 or 4, was missing one arm completely and his red sweater just swung empty and his other other was a short little arm with 3 fingers, his sweater folded up like a big cuff. Despite this physical challenge, he was engaging and smiley. There was a very pretty dark haired girl with a long braid and lots of barrettes. She looked to be the oldest of the group and looked at us also quite a bit and reminded me of Emma. Another cute petite little Asian girl kept happily smiling at us. Some of the children showed no reaction and looked like a lightbulb went out. The music was loud, the teacher singing and demonstrating the dance moves and calling out moves (they were practicing for a show of some kind) and Batyrhan was very interested in watching the dancing and there was no way to play. Additionally, a few times Gary would begin tickling Batyrhan and throwing him in the air and I would whisper to him to move behind the Christmas tree if you are going to do that, why should these poor children be witness to a lucky child bonding with a daddy? So we were either watching the children dance and sing or trying to hide our affection to Batyrhan to not make the other children feel bad and it was not a bonding time at all -- it was just a time to contain him and not allow him to run into the lesson since this music teacher is his teacher as well.

After 30 minutes Bolot finally got the go ahead for us to go into another room, the play room from yesterday. We were there just a few minutes when a women came in and started using the sewing machine to sew curtains. "Jutjutjutjutjut" went the sewing machine and there went Batyrhan's attention again. Puffs can only do so much.


About ten minutes after this, some women came in with large bags of fabric and velour to place in the room in one of the locked doors. Because they didn't want Batyrhan to get cold when they opened up this attic-like storage room, they asked us to leave yet again to go into the next room which seemed to be an office and little play area. Once in there, Batyrhan was very restless and accidentally opened up the Puffs and dumped them all over the carpet. Then he almost knocked a mirror off a wall while we were looking into it. Then we finally went back into the music room where the sewer was still sewing and making a whizzing sound and our translator's cell phone was still ringing and where the Puffs no longer seemed to have any allure.
Another caregiver entered the room and played with Batyrhan and picked him up.



After this time, I felt myself to be mentally removed and had to force my head back in the game. I was hot and sweaty and exasperated with all the changes and was almost willing the clock to move closer to 6 pm. I felt bad to wish away my time with Batyrhan but it was so unsatisfying and not so enjoyable to me. We are constantly watched, we are trying to direct the attention and discipline a little boy who doesn't know our language and I feel not doing my job properly. I barely got any eye contact from Batyrhan today, he was too busy running around and not happy being contained wherever we were. Daddy always manages to get the big smiles thankfully because he throws Batyrhan up in the air. Once again today, with Batyrhan sitting on my lap facing away from me, I was able to sing about 4 children's songs in a row before he grunted to move away from me.


Books were not as interesting today either. It was too wet and snowy to go outside as we assumed he would just throw himself on the slush but maybe we should try it again tomorrow.

It is important for me to be honest here and I will continue to do so once I get home because I want my experiences to help others. I do also feel that once at home and in our own routine things will be enormously easier to manage and the love will grow from there.

In general, I feel a little unhappy today and it started from the morning, I think I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, or maybe it's a bit of homesickness catching up with me. So much so that we just decided to eat candy and not even go to dinner tonight. Tomorrow is a new day.

In other news, we found out today that we have to pick Batyrhan's American name TONIGHT. I may be losing a battle here, but maybe Gary deserves his favorite choice after all.

PHotos to be added later.

But he also calls 8 other women Mama. Likely, if you are a woman seeing him for the first time, he will call you Mama too. So the topic of discussion that Gary and I have been having is in regards to getting Batyrhan to one day realize that *I* am his only Mama. I have done a lot of reading about this in the past (and will devour more books when I come home) and there are some steps that will need to be taken to help him know that we are his parents. What might appear to be "babying" a typical child in a home since birth will be mandatory actions in the beginning with Batyrhan. I have been doing some of this now when I feed him Puffs or give him water. While feeding him, he is often sitting on our laps or being gently touched by us in some manner. When I place a Puff in his mouth, I maintain a good eye contact and we are doling out "Malla Dyets!" (Good Boy!) left and right. Some of the things I will do with Batyrhan will be to "wear him" in an Ergo carrier when we get home. Of course he is a mover and shaker, but we will spend some part of the day being very close in this manner. Additionally, in the beginning, it will be Gary and I who will be the sole providers of food and the sole diaper changers and the sole people who put him to bed. This will be tough in the beginning to not be able to accept help with this from a grandparent or babysitter, but it is not different than me being the sole feeder for the first 6 months of Emma and Eden's life when they were only nursed and had yet to try food. I have put in this time with my children and I will do so again. Will there be opportunities that this can not be the case, I am sure, but if we can maintain this 85-90% of the time, I think we will be in good shape with forming a very strong attachment with each other.

Batyrhan has no trouble drinking out of a water bottle and in fact uses ceramic tea cups to drink while here which he holds on his own. I have read that it is not uncommon to go back to bottles to feed milk or a nutrient laden formula to newly adopted toddlers, providing they are in your arms while doing so and are associating you with this babying and loving activity, likely something he may never have experienced properly in his life. I will have to do more research about that. Neither of my girls ever used bottles, so I am not familiar with them. They went straight from nursing to sippy cups.

Today was a nice calm visit but Gary and I left there both feeling unsatisfied. Our translator was in the room with us, a lovely guy of 24, and while it was a pleasure to have him there today conversationally and for information and answers to our questions, Batyrhan was very intrigued by him and his cell phones. A curious boy, he would often leave us to engage with Bolot, who did not do anything to purposefully take his attention away except respond sweetly in kind.

(Check back later today for photos from visit to be added)

Today we had yet a different room - another large music style room with a wall of windows with sheer curtains, a piano, writing desk in the center of the room, desk with sewing machine and swatches of fabric, soft building blocks, stuffed animals and a ball pit. When Batyrhan walked in to the room, he smiled and ran over to us. He did seem happy. He was extremely curious about this room initially and was very active at play with putting balls in bags and bins and manipulating bowling pins and dumping more bins. I thought this is something we can easily provide at home for him to dump and sort and place things into bins. His curiosity kept him very busy and, strangely, this usually "talkative" little boy did not utter one tiny sound or babble until about 40 minutes into the visit. It was a quiet and silent visit at first, with only me and Gary doing the chattering. Within this room, there was a door that led to an office with desks and a few women would enter the playroom to go to their "office", and would always say hi to Batyrhan in passing. In fact, his hearing is acute and whenever he heard any sound, he would whip his head around to see what was going on. Often, he wanted to just follow them into the office. So the distractions prevented him from focusing on us fully, but yet he was a very good boy today in general. To describe Batyrhan's personality today, we would say he was calm, playful, curious and sweet. Gary had to say "Nyet!" and "Jok!" (NO in Russian and Kazakh, respectively) to him today when he was brandishing a plastic stick around, but afterwards he was easily distracted and no longer upset. I found out today that some of the lessons he experiences daily are Speech Therapy, Sensory classes and Music and Dancing. This extracurricular stimulation is one of the reasons that attracted me to Kazakh Orphanages. The children here do seem to get the best they can in less than ideal circumstances.

We also spent some time looking out the window at the snow falling on the trees. This room looked out on an L shape portion of the building and I saw a TV on in another room and wondered who was watching. Batyrhan enjoyed looking out the window. Each day that I see him, I always sing him the song (which by now Gary can not stand) from Gymboree "Helloooo, Batyrhan. So nice to see you! Helloooo Batyrhan, we're so glad to see you too." If I do this song every day, I hope that when I come back next month he will remember this strange but pleasant American song and there will be some memory as to who I am. I also spritz a little perfume on my shirt before I come. I only brought Callyx with me so I will make sure to wear this when I return next month. He seemed perhaps tired a little today, rubbing his eyes at one point during the second hour. He enabled me to hold him and rock him while walking around the room for the duration of three songs in succession -- Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Baa Baa Black Sheep and The Wheels on the Bus. He didn't squirm at all during this time since he was happy gnawing on our water bottle. He needs to chomp on something all the time and the water bottle seems the most satisfying. When he was done with the attention and singing, he squirmed and whined and we put him down to play. He had a lot of fun today running towards Gary to be lifted up and I was able to get this on video. Gary spoke to him in English only (we have learned some good toddler-friendly words in Kazakh) and he caught on so quickly to direction to sit, to put the cell phone down, to come to Daddy.

Today, while offering him Puffs with our palm open, he sometimes would use his pincers, sometimes would take a fistful and shove it in his mouth and sometimes would just bury his face into our hands and eat like a puppy lapping at a bowl. He also allowed us to play "airplane" while feeding him the Puffs and come from high up and place the Puff gently in his mouth. He is a very sweet boy and I know he will be well liked by all who meet him. My instinct tells me that he may be very active at times and "boyish", something I have to get used to, but that his soul is very gentle and open. These are good things and seem to have served him well here.

At the end of the visit, Svetlana came to get him and he easily went to her and appeared to wrap his arms around her. It made me happy to see his love for her and I had our translator tell her that we like that he loves her so much and that she loves him. Her reply was to laugh and give him a big kiss on the cheek. Gary wonders if he will ever be able to love us the same way. I feel that because of his love for her (and likely other caregivers), there is much hope that we can be loved too. The sad part is, because he is nearly 2 years old at this point, he will experience grief when we leave the baby house. Imagine the feeling, if you think of your own two year old child. But that is why this bonding period is so very important. We are not strangers to him and we will not be strangers to him when we finally come to bring him home.

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Earlier today we took a walk in the drizzling rain to walk the streets of Almaty and to end up at Coffeedelia, which I can liken to a brightly lit Starbucks in that there are desserts to be had, some cafe-style meals, coffees and free Wi-Fi. It was pleasant to sit there for a while and people watch. My coffee was bitter and terrible (an espresso, perhaps?) and had to be doused in sugar. My pie, a triangular version of a lemon bar, was sublime. I had brought my Kindle with me and asked Gary if he wanted to read the newspaper on it. He said "Why would I want to read when I have you to talk to?" Many of you know how distracted Gary usually is with me when he has work on his mind so to have him say this, and have us actually share many uninterrupted conversations while here, has been wonderful. While walking, we also passed a high end store called Mothercare which had children's clothing from Italy and Spain. There was a silver bubble jacket I *loved* for Eden and will need to check price and conversion again -- was it really $550? The store also had children's furniture, accessories, and play mats (Tiny Love Gym mat!) and some very nice toys and flash cards - some electronic toys in Russian. I must buy one before we head home.

After our visit to the Baby House, we asked Bolot to stop at the Ramstore for us to get some waters. All we do here is buy water and foreign candy and cookies!! We gravitate to the candy aisle and surely those who know us well will not be surprised to hear that. Twix in Russian is a heck of a lot more attractive, you know ;-) The Ramstore is a mini-mall with grocery store inside it and the main floor also has a skating rink with many excellent skating children. No one wears helmets here as they do at home. In the same way, many cars do not even come equipped with seat belts in the back, or they are hidden under furry seat coverings. I have learned to just sit tight and hang on.

Gary was adamant we try Horse Meat tonight. It is as popular here as "cow" is for us at home, though they eat regular cow beef too. Bashbarmak is a traditional dish which means "Five Fingers" because these homemade noodles and strips of meat are eaten by hand. We went to a Kazakh restaurant (Dashtarkan) for this dish tonight (Gary was so excited and was feeling very adventurous -- he couldn't wait the whole day!) only to be told in severely broken English by three waiters who worked as a team for us that their version of the dish was not made with horse meat, that their restaurant did not serve Mr. Ed. Then to make matters worse, the dish was served as a soup which Gary does not like and he found out later, they didn't even serve him Bashbarmak at all, but a 'similar' dish that serves one person, since their Bashbarmak serves two. Those who also know Gary know that he can eat for two. He feels unsatisfied and therefore we are still on the lookout for horsemeat. Gary is amazingly adventurous -- wanting to eschew typical restaurants that have been recommended to us as having English menus (Mad Murphy's, Mamma Mia's) because he said we have the best food like that at home in NYC, why not eat Central Asian and Mongolian food while here? Though I still want to try Mamma Mia's because Lea loved it, I think we will spend the remainder of the week eating local foods. Even though I long to find English speaking expats in the "American-style" restaurants, we haven't had much luck anyway in finding anyone to chat with.

Interestingly, almost every single time we go into a nice store (Mothercare, or a perfume shop called Mon Amie, the wine department in the supermarket) we are followed and stared at by security guards. We are the "distrusted" Americans and it is a very unique feeling to be in to be so blatantly followed by men in uniform who just stare us down as we walk through the aisles.

Our evening ended with an adventure - something I have never done in my life. Gary and I would call it hitchhiking, though the Kazakhs would call it "local taxis." It was snowing hard after our dinner and we walked two blocks but could not find a cab in the dark (about 8:00 pm). It gets very dark here early and doesn't get light out at all until after 8 am either. We are stared at all the time here, sometimes by men alone, and we do get nervous and sometimes cross the street suddenly or step into a store, despite it likely just being curiosity. Sometimes people stare at us and then yell out the only word they know in English. "Hello!" (with very Russian accent and "k" sound at beginning of word) or today "Hello Brother! English!!" as his car sped by. However, one never knows what they want considering Americans are seen as very "rich" and therefore could be carrying a lot of cash on us. Also, perhaps its the time of year but we are the only Americans I have seen on the street and it is very evident in our faces and dress. We could not get a cab this time (we didn't see any in the street with the checkerboard known to be taxis) so we walked back to the restaurant where it took about 5 people to figure out we needed a taxi to go back to our hotel. They could not call us one (not sure why) so a non-English speaking man from the restaurant dressed in a suit followed us out into the snow. A waitress followed us out too and just told us "Follow him, he will get you taxi." We crossed the street with him and he immediately held his hand out low and Gary and I looked at each other and realized, we will not be entering an ordinary taxi. We had read about this in the Lonely Planet guidebook and I had no intention of doing it. But here we were in the snow. About 7 cars later, a small car pulled over and our restaurant friend stuck his head in the car and spoke to the driver. When he stood up, he gestured for us to get in and said "400 Tenge" (about $3). The price was certainly right but I was nervous! It was a male driver, he looked middle age and did not smile. I said to the restaurant guy "Kharasho?? Kharasho?" meaning "is this good?" and he just nodded. Well we got in and since we knew our hotel was just about 12 blocks straight down and the guy made no sudden turns, I began to relax and feel better with Gary and I in the back seat looking at each other like we just did something miraculous. Gary again wanted to give the guy 500 Tenge as extra thanks but he gave us our proper change back from the 1000 Tenge bill. Unless he just didn't understand when Gary said "Give me just 500 Tenge back." Likely not!

Gary was still hungry and we had passed Biskvit, one block away from our hotel, a cafe that was also written about in the Lonely Planet guide as being a "smarter" Coffeedelia. We walked in the snow up the block and around the corner and found ourselves in a lovely little cafe style place that seemed like a great date place - big couches surrounding rustic wooden tables. The menus looked like magazine pages and the menu items were disguised as advertisements so you could simply point to a photo if you wished. We wound up getting a swiss ice cream that we had seen in the supermarkets and appeared to be very expensive in the Ramstore, so it was an opportunity to try a taste. And when I say taste, I am not joking. Once again, my one "ball" was served in a huge glass bowl with a miniature teaspoon. It might have been smaller than a golf ball. I could have picked it up with my fingers and just plopped it in my mouth. It was about $3. I had to take a photo of this tiny ice cream portion. What would they say if they came to American and saw the gargantuan servings? Once again, as my pants no longer feel as snug as they did before I left America, despite all the wafer cookies I have been eating, I can say again "I have much to learn from the Kazakhs about portion control."

Someone once said to me, in response to our decision to adopt, "There is nothing like your own." You know what? They were right. I don't need a court decree to tell me that Batyrhan is my son. I have known him 8 days but I have also known him all my life. My heart already breaks when he cries and I find joy just looking at him.

Gary and I were talking about love. What makes the difference of how we so far have visited Batyrhan just 7 days total about 2 hours each day versus if I had to babysit a boy of his age in my house for 2 hours a day for 7 days? What is different that makes me open my heart to him in such a manner? Knowing his history and where he is? Knowing that if not us, then who? My heart has opened up to him and we can not wait to bring him home to be a part of our every day, to know his sisters and grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins.

There are people who have said "I could never love another kid" or "I could never do it. Good for you if you can." I wish I could explain it but in my heart, for me, I knew it would be like this. And I wish to be able to impart this to others -- that when you know that you have been selected to be the parent of a child who has absolutely no one in the world if not for a government run paid program (the orphanage) then you simply get your head in the game. The wonderful part for me and Gary is that it was felt mostly with the heart, and less with our heads. Gary never expected to feel this way. Months back, I had told friends that I hoped by the end of the year with our new child, I could say that Gary loves him. I feel that I was off in that assessment by about 359 days.

Of course there is a reality of being home with a toddler, but it's not like I haven't done that ... oh, about two times before. He is a much more active child, that is for sure. I was told he also has hit other children and has bitten them. It can be normal behavior or a survival instinct. Either way, he's still just a baby, I feel that with parenting, love and discipline he will soon properly know right from wrong. Overall, he can be calmed easily and seems to have a sweet soul, that is the feeling I am getting from him, even when he's getting wild.

Today was an overall great visit, though we were back to the room where we first began our visits. Local families were in the music room so they gave us this room. It was not easy because it is a passage way between two rooms and there are lockers in the room where caregivers keep their belongings. So we had visitors in the room passing in and out with their jackets, laundry, tea. The door to Batyrhan's group was ajar and we heard crying and singing and toys clanking. Often Batyrhan kept wanting to go towards that door. Once he was crying to reach his friends and running towards that door! It was distracting to be in this room and not easy to keep such an active little boy satisfied in a very small room with a hot plate and desk and lockers. We kept having to pull him back to our attention, and Svetlana, the caregiver I feel loves him a lot, kept directing his attention back to Mama and Papa. She spent some time writing out his schedule for us and sitting at the desk in the room and interacting with him too. I was very happy to get some of these moments on video -- his caregiver speaking Kazakh to him and being very caring towards him.




I found out that he only recently began saying some words, that he gets bathed every day (his hair is always clean and he smells pleasant) and that he is not fully toilet trained, but has had some good toilet experiences. He wears a diaper when we is with us. Also, though not perfect, it appears his cold is much better. He must be on an antibiotic because his chest no longer rattles. I was not able to get this information until I speak to the pediatrician -- the caregivers themselves did not know what medication, if any, he was on. I'm glad he's feeling better as I have not yet had the opportunity to slip him some Elderberry Extract for his immune system. I will tomorrow though.

Here are some photos from today. We did not go outside and although hard in the small room, it felt like a calmer visit to just stay put.

Here, Daddy always gets the giggles.






Mommy shows Batyrhan photos of his sisters. When the caregiver showed him Emma and Eden, she said the word for sisters in Kazakh and he repeated "Tateera." This photo album was given to me by Carolyn long ago when this moment felt so far away. Now, the photo album has teeth marks on it from our little boy!









Mommy and Son -- together at last and looking so at home together.



Batyrhan lets us hold him like this sometimes, which is very satisfying for us. When he's done, he certainly lets us know with a little squirm and twist. And often a frustrated grunt.





With Svetlana, Batyrhan's caregiver.

The daily schedule for Batyrhan's group written in Kazakh. I have the translation.


The Kazakh flag seen during our walk, blowing in the breeze.

Our shadows during today's walk.


This last photo is an example of what happens every single day when we take a walk - we get giggled at and stared at. Whether because we are Americans and so very different looking or likely because Gary often takes his jacket off when he gets warm, a societal no-no, or just because we are just so darn good looking ;-)