Planet Pam

I’ve decided it’s time to quit blogging (at least here anyway). Well you all know how blunt I am, and frankly I don’t care enough to be filling everyone in on my personal life anymore.

Don’t get me wrong out of the 18 or so people who skulk around here, some are not plebs. Well about 3 or 4 of you. The rest I find to be plebs. You have to hit the bottom, struggle and break down to find out who your real friends are. The ones that have seen you at your worst and are still there beside you. Not the ones that take random stories made up in someone’s head and believe them as gospel. Then again what would I expect from a bunch of people who live their lives on line shrouded in fantasy thinking the world stops for them.

Not that my blog is anything special because it really isn’t, it’s not even average but I do enjoy it and for a while it was nice to see other get so into it too. I shall let you non-plebs know if I set up a new one. The rest, well I hope one day you take your heads out your arses long enough to see what’s real and what’s not, because if you believe what you seem to be believing at the moment, you never ever knew me at all. That makes me sad.

I'm not going to lie and say I'm in a brilliant place today, because I'm not. Life at the moment doesn't seem fair and usually when I'm feeling this way I turn my back on the bible, I lose faith and close my heart. Where has that got me exactly? Nowhere, still in this same old rut. So today I'll try something new, I will continue to praise Him in my darkness. I'll trust that He love me, that He never gives me more than I can handle and when things get too hard, to painful and desperate I will have faith that my Lord is watching over me, carrying my through and blessing me with compassion, comfort and strength to wake up and face each new day no matter how bleak it seems.

Today a dear friend left. I am desperately trying to find a positive in it all, because to go on about how it affects me is nothing but selfish. I see that he is trying to better himself and I pray it works for him. All around me my nearest and dearest are struggling in one way or another and its so easy to play the blame game and lose faith but not this time! This time I will stand strong, be a supportive friend, fiance, daughter, sister or whatever else I need to be. I know this is the harder route, it would be easier to lose faith yet where is the good in that? We are only tried when we are doing something right, trials are sent to knock our faith levels down, not this time.

I love you all, friends, family and fiance alike. You have seen me through some of my hardest moments and I won't fail you guys now. Just know wee beans that I am here, that I may not always have the right words to comfort you but the big man gave me two perfectly good ears. He didn't send you guys to me in my hour of need to bail on you when you needed supporting! I'm keeping you all in thought and prayer, every last one of you and my shoulder is free for you to get snot and tears on anytime you wish!

God bless and keep you all

xxxxxxxxxx

Three weeks or so ago now Mark popped the question. Therefore for three weeks monster in law to be has had a face like a well skelped arse because I won't let her be big cheese in the wedding plans. Three weeks of whinging, moaning and tantrums is bound to drive a girl to insanity! Hey, I'm Pammi, I'm insane :D

When Mark proposed, we knew it was never going to be a quick engagement. We're young with plenty of ambition and wants. The engagement was just a sign of committment, a sign to show that we are in it for the long haul, but lets just rest in that for a couple of years. Don't get me wrong, like all girls I got all excited and started planning a few small things, but I knew that it would be another couple of years before these plans are made a reality.

Here are a few things that our ladyship thinks I have terribly wrong -

Bridesmaids - I wanted two, three at a very big push. My two were to be my baby sister Gillian as maid of honour (naturally) and my fabbi little friend Lisa. I then had a little brain wave and thought it might be nice to ask Mark's twin, Claire. She lives in the same house as us, we get on well and she's always on hand for a blether, advice or just a muck about. However, I apparently can not ask Claire without asking Mark's other sister Rachel. I don't really know her though, nothing against her I'm sure she's a nice person but how could I possibly ask Rachel without insulting my friend Nikki, or cousin Emma. This has caused all out huffiness in the Lingard household.

Flower girl - I am not to have Abbie, who is my friend Nicola's daughter, the reason for this being is there is a niece's daughter on the Riches side who would fit the role perfectly. ahem.

Location - I have my heart set on Scotland. Linwood or Paisley to be exact, my home. Mark being a bloke is happy to go ahead with Scotland, because it saves my sad face being displayed :P Again this has caused issues! There are more of them than there are Currie's so that means it should be down south. Excuseeee me! The only ones that Mark cares about being at the wedding are his grandparents. They live in Kent and due to their age Mark and I are more than happy to pay for their travel up and accommodation when they get there. Mark's family work just the same as mine, therefore I am sure they can afford the £15 return it will cost on the coach.

Guests - Both Mark and I want an intimate affair. We don't like the limelight and for this reason wanted no more than 25 guests each. This 50 would consist of closest friends and family. WRONG!!! Apparently it's a free for all, yup 2nd, 3rd all the way to 35th cousins are to attend? Sorry love was that you fat cheque book wafting this silly notion around? No? Nah, I didn't think so!!

That's just the tip of the iceberg by the way. We've not touched on colour schemes, flowers, favours (yes something was actually said about that too!). I shant bore you any longer though.

Oh and I have one slight problem of my own. Gillian and I are the last of the Currie's, so I thought it might be nice to keep my name, perhaps double barrelled. However, after saying it out loud on the phone to Lisa (who is supposed to be the innuendo queen, yet did not pick up on it, took me to point it out) Pamela Currie-Lingard does sound rather like Pamela Cunnilingus. See my dilemma? lol

I finally got my ring back (ending on a good note) However, it's still a little too big. Before I send it off to get resized again I took a quick snap to share with you all. Platinum, saphire.. my man delivered! Love you Skid, now and always xxx

Well, it has been just over a week since I last blogged, and to be frank I can't really be bothered whipping up something witty, smart, funny or stupid. I don't have the brain power for it today. Therefore you will all just have to content yourselves with my week in bullets, and accept that I am often just a lazy pie who doesn't give a stuff :P . . .

* Work has been guff.
* Julie looked stunning in her wedding dress, the service was very moving and everyone had a blast!
* Karen likes to disguise garlic as bits of chicken, not so nice when you bite into it!
* My car is growing "rattlier" by the day.
* I have had the same horrid dream for 4 nights in a row now.
* Seeing Mark and mum getting on so well really touched me.
* Irresponsible dog owners really upset me *feels a story coming on* . . . Last Thursday night I woke up at daft o'clock, mouth like the sahara I went downstairs to get a glass of water. I got to the bottom of the stairs and squish!! Yes, Mollie poo between my toes! I was throwing up in the sink while trying to wash it off!! Fuming doesn't even come close to what I was feeling!!!!!
* Sharing a room with mum and Mark was an experience and a half! The pair of them are off their heads!
* Looking forward to going over to Lisa's in a couple of weeks :)
* Getting excited about going up to Mum's for 5 days!! 5 whole days!! so much better than that 2 night milarkie!!
* Felt bad about missing Father's day and Dad's birthday. first one I have ever missed :( Did buy him some extra special pressies, but it doesn't make up for it!
* Wanting to shoot Mark's neighbours!! They are so loud, even at 2 and 3am! Oh and the girl neighbour is a bit of a tramp, "who wants a tit ride next?" scuuuuuuuuse me?!?!!??!?! oh and she's like 15!
* Mollie ate another underwear set of mine! She owes me £120 roughly in eaten bras! I really wish Karen and John would take responsibility for her and stop letting her run a mock!!

So yeah, been a mixed week! I will pull the finger out and do a decent/meaningful blog at some point, for now I'm off to laze in the sun :)

Yes it’s that time of the month again . . . With Mark and I having suspected swine flu I wasn’t sure if I could go ahead with my triptorelin injection (wishful thinking) but doctor gave the go ahead. However, they do cause horrid headaches and the tamiflu tablets we’re on at the moment cause headaches too, I have been suffering this niggley head pain for a couple of days now, so am just awaiting the increase in brain pain.. yay...

My date with the needle . .

Mark and I are still waiting on our results over this swine flu milarkie, had a better night last night but continue to throw up and burn up... oh and the hot flushes will be right back with me in the next hour or so, what a fun night I'm about to have

My butt hurts

It’s commonly known that I have been back sliding recently. It took a true and amazing woman to open my eyes to it, and I’m not naive I know it was the big man working through her, He probably knew I’d only listen to such advice from her too.

These past few days and all that she has shown me have been evidence enough that I have to get back on track. My relationship with the Lord hasn’t been right for months and as a consequence my life has gone to pot. I’m not the girl I once was. Lisa asked me straight out, “when was the last time you put on your armour of God?” and I couldn’t answer, truth be told I had no idea what she was on about. In true friend fashion she sent me a copy of the Blood of Christ prayer, a very powerful prayer that no doubt will have Satan right on my tail, but I prayed it knowing that all my needs lay in the Lord. That He doesn’t give you more than you can handle. Time to put on my armour of God...

Ephesians Chapter 6, verse 10 – 18

Finally, brethren, be strengthened in the Lord and in the might of his power. Put you on the armour of God, that you may be able to stand against the deceits of the devil. For our wrestling is not against the flesh and blood; but against principalities and powers, against the rulers of the world of this darkness, against the spirits of wickedness in the high places. Therefore, take you unto the armour of God, that you may be able to resist in the evil day and to stand in all things perfect. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth and having on the breastplate of justice: And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace. In all things taking the shield of faith, wherewith you may be able to extinguish all the fiery darts of the most wicked one. And take unto you the helmet of salvation and the sword of Spirit. By all prayer and supplication praying at all times in the spirit.

About time I got myself in gear. Tonight has taught me many valuable lessons that I will forever relate back to. I shall trust that He is in control, that I need not worry for it will all come out just the way it is meant to in the end. Not to say I won’t get upset or feel hurt, but there is comfort in knowing that His plan is actively working at the moment.

Off to do my quiet time now that I am in the Spirit.