i did not die...



from two weeks of endless torture and pain to both the brain and the eye bags. there is no more anguish and spasm from the pile of notes that can be generated as i have burned them mentally. it seems like a miracle that i survived this WW1 torture. though today was a horrible day for me by the fate of two paper with a damn long 4+ hour break between. if i was anymore human i would have died. thank God i am a saint to survive that.



there had been a sign right from the start sice yesterday. first was the blackout which left me staring into the black void of what was supposed to be handout 6 of human geog. it was so ominous and evil that had suggested "shanny, stop studying. you are going to fail anyway." it was haunting me that the lights will never ever come. there was like not even a pitch of light in the whole 2 km of my flat. i had never in my life experience pitch black. PITCH BLACK PEOPLE!!! there always had been moon light. anyway. i had to throw and disoriente myself to fiddle in the dark for a source of light. thank God for the creation of a handphone. although the light was blue but still better than someones lousy 3310 green light. still manage to find a lighter and had to light my valentines candle as a last resort. poor val candles have to be burned to save my life. i had to say that it was fun to be shouting around the house.



and you want to know what? there was only one candle in the entire house. mine!!! pathetic i know but hell...



there were some people stuck in the lift. they were ringing and ringing the bell. if i was stuck in the lift without light. i will just rather sufficate and die. if someone had farted... if my area took 2 hours to restore the energy and i was stuck in the life. i would have banged my head on the wall and induced death and then you will find me in a pool of blood when the door opens.



anyway. did not have the mood to study anymore. was already damn high by the time the lights came back.



the second omen was this morning when there was this thunderstorm a which grew heavier as a reached school. the winds were so strong that even i could have been blown away if i was one kg lighter. yup it is so strong that it was close to removing some fat lard filled woman off the ground. then the rain was just pouring away. the sky was red. if that a sign or what???



almost died in geog. shanny tan not able to do = whole world fail. and the crystal ball says the whole world fail liao. comfirm plus the emperors red square chop. think cannot even smell an E. I WANT TO PASS. MY FACE DEPENDS ON IT!!! lets just not talk bout it.



lit... um.... good question... ditto above.



at least i am now a free woman. can do anything for at the most one week before i begin to eat up my lit text. think i have already forgotten ant and cleo and wuthering heights liao. haizz... hate J2. cant even breath air for one month without paper pollution. our fate here in singapore is already sealed. maybe to the extent that there is a curse on the seal for the person who breaks the ritual to die a horrible death (maybe get stuck in the life in a blackout with a fat man who farts.)

How to make a shanny

Ingredients: 1 part intelligence 1 part crazyiness 1 part ego

Method: Layer ingredientes in a shot glass. Add a little emotion if desired!

oh my god!!! i think this is so true!!!

something optimistic



yes finally in a million was i ever so prepered for a single paper. i actually knew how to do all the choices in essay. i really would love to show it off but then you can only two choose one and only have that little time. this is the first time that i am so prepered. sometimes i wouldnt really admit it but this time i will. to the extent that i actually did all the TYS MCQs. yes... ALL!!!



then again you may never know how you would do. it is econs you are talking bout here. teachers perception of evaluation is never the same as yours. not to the smallest degree. hope i do well this econs paper. if i fail any component... i will hang myself and haunt the marker. i am really hoping for a C now.



down with two papers and i still have the worst to come - geog and lit. geog can never be predicted and the topic this time for human is really a brain executioner. hate economic geog. haiz... now i have to start on my revision. not to forget the subject that is always forgotten - LIT!!! when i study, never in my wildest dreams have i thought bout lit until last min. really would like to keep it in focus now. the last time i read the note again and there is this feeling that i have never touched the book for ages and that i am going to fail. now i have to START memorising all those useless quotes that have no what so ever contribution to society.



did i mention that i hardly got a wink of sleep last night??? i kept rolling on the bed from 1.30 to 4 thinking bout how to connect BOP to interest rate. have been studying to much econs that even i have nightmare bout it. to prevent this from future occurances, i may have to start preperation early. (yeah right)

i really have to say this



this morn when i was studying econs.

i had this really REALLY unbelievable fantasy...



i was fantasising bout shanny and this slightly hairy chested hunk with real nice muscles (yes janelle) and great hair and gloomy eyes and nice jaw in cape town.

yes.

that was not the main part.

this is -

i was thinking how nice it would be to have sex with him in a cabin at the top of the cliff while overlooking the beautiful oceans and sky.

i think i am crazy!!!

i acutally thought of sex!!!



must be the stress. janelle!!! it is all you fault!!! you and your hairy chest talk with me!!! then plus my dear hunk on SVC mag!!!

no cant be... it must be the stress...

if i ever pass my compre...



i will bow down to your feet and kiss it a million times. i cant believe i did not smell the end of the paper before they said pens down. that is it. no AQ done means FAIL!!! hello??? 8 freeking marks leh!!! not like i am going to pass if i did it but hell...



i am so gonna fail

i am so gonna fail and be scoulded

i am so gonna fail , be scoulded and be expelled for failing.

GOD SAVE ME!!!



tomorro is econs. i better not get the "oh shit... what the hell is this question asking for" situation again. i really studied VERY VERY HARD for econs this time around. spent 7 whole days on macro. yes!!! that is = to one week. i really want to pass. if i fail, i may just go jump down PSA building. but really want to get at least a C for econs this time round.

see i told you



i have been studying so much econs the past few days. yes. and mcq. and guess what? i did not sleep well at all last night considering the whole STUDY THE WRONG THING episode. all i dreamt of were econs graph!!!



and the thing is that i didnt even study any.

must be the THING!!!

i feel so cheated!!!



i actually studyed the wrong components for econs... how can that ever go wrong??? BT2 is 1 1/2 essay and one case study and this pig head of mine keep thinking that it is mcq and drq. and i studyed for that!!! wasted two whole days doing mcq and one whole day doing drq. i feel so stupid!!! though i studied, but it is not coming out!!! freek!!!



i could have spent that three days doing more productive things like econs essay outlines and geog or maybe even memorize some lit quotes. but NO!!! i JUST HAD TO WASTE MY PRECIOUS TIME ON THINGS THAT ARE NOT NEED!!! the oppunity cost is FAIL!!!



shit!!!

now i have to spend my shorten remaining time trying to live on the fact that i am a loser and a big sucker at that for ACTUALLY STUDYING THE WRONG THING!!!



oh God... what have i done to deserve this???

i want to atone for all my sins

but please not this way!!!

amen...

who is that???



i was just walking past the living room when something caught this pair of eyes of mine. it was a magazine lying at the table top waiting to be open. but just at that very moment, he caught my eye. yes. it is this clean shaven, VERY MANLY looking guys staring out of the cover page. i could just sense myself drooling already. i just had to walk closer to get a clearer look.



those sexy brown eys.

that nose

those kissalbe lips.

the way he stares back at you



summation of the above = to really yummy. just then i saw the main caption : "the sexest recruit"... yes. i totally agree. if he is not called sexy, he must be God. just as my eyes went lower to the smaller captions - *puke*



yup. you saw your computer screen right. shanny puked. guess who is it??? to find out, grab a copy of your lastest starhub telescope magazine july 2004 issue.



no matter how good he looked. he is still the fagetidy-do-da-day to me. yes. curious??? just go grab a copy of the above. shanny is not going to corrupt her blog entry by mentioning his name. not worth it.

but i still have to say that he looks yummy!

dreaming



last night i dreamt of anita and lekshimi driving a car to come pick me up. for what??? for this exam that has everything to do with the multiplier.



i am really studying too much econs

even i dream of the darn multiplier

fate is calling

damn stressed



cannot finish everything by sun night

impossible

too much to go so little time

if only i started earlier

(then again i always say that)

STUDY YOU ARSE!!!

STOP SLACKING AND THINKING THAT YOU STILL HAVE TIME

YOU DONT!!!



HIT THE BOOKS AND STOP BLOGGING

no no no

I SAID HIT THE BOOKS YOU IDIOT!!!

shut up and leave me be

GO NOW!!!

AAARRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH.......!!!!!!!!!!!

melting rules



who that does not melt in the presence of keanu reeves is a pure loser. i will forever comdamn that pig and arse for not worshipping the saint. shall that person be tortured to death.



KEANU REEVES ROCKS!!!

speed rocks!!!

OH... have i said that KEANU REEVES ROCKS already???

well HE DOES!!!

go to hell and die - all u stinking things



income my arse

trade my foot

go macro yourselves



regional disparities can just go and die

global shifts can just flush youself down the toilet bowl



argh......

hate studying

nothing is going in!!!

shit

sucks

arGHHHHHHH.........

things in my head



1. BT2

2. studying on time

3. soccer

4. food

5. housework

6. failing BT2



the following above is not working out apart fm number 3 and 6.

so ya.

what the hack!!!



i am so into everything that nothing is going into my head...

and no mood for blogging or even touching the com.

need time out.

what about a nice big RED CARD???



if only GOD created RED CARDS for studying.

i want a red card.

even a yellow one also can.

JUST WANT OUT...

OF EVERYTHING!!!

finally getting pass the urban heat island



something new.

first time.

yeah.

bloody teeth



dental yesterday. pain today. this time around it really hurts. feels like the first time i placed it on. ouch... cant even keep my mouth closed now. look like cookie monster with mouth open 24/7. pain... unbearable... need food... cant eat... bloody braces. bloody elastics. after one year of non elastics those bloody things are back again. coz of them. hurts...



shit...

have to go el nino and la nina already. micro climate waiting. arghhh...

hate studying.

a new interest



had tuition yesterday.

got inspired to study econs. yup.

i actually want to study econs now.

crazy i know. but hell...



not interested in anything else.

he's good. funny too.

ready to push on.

the thais think i am thai



how could they think so???

are they blind???

no way do i look like them!!!

i dont even speak thai!!!

i dont even dress thai!!!



yes i am tanned...

but NOT THAI!!!!!

insult!!!

me... thai???

NO WAY!!!

not even a tiny bit close



they better not converse a word of thai to me the next time i am there

did i mention



thais can be very VERY GOOD LOOKING

take my doorboy for example

drop dead

he actually held the door open for me

then again that is his job



saw this ABC in the lift

very nice bod

very nice accent

very nice face

i'm back

this might be very long (VERY LONG)



touched down back on home sweet home land yesterday at 4 pm from bangkok. great to smell the earth and the fresh air. i have to admit that it is anytime fresher than what they have over there at thailand. really miss my bed and pillow so badly i drowned in it for 11 hours last night. i slept so tight no freams came. miss a whole lot of things that i have here like my computer and time for tv. miss it.



lets start with the hotel. i stayed at Arnoma Hotel Bangkok for the five days i was there. it is smacked in the middle of the shopping district. great cos there is access to the trains and canal boat with this massive supermart next door. not bad for a hotel. but still not the best i have stayed in. Patuman Princess Hotel is even better, was there on my last trip two years ago. somehow or other, i seem to have know the area very well. was thinking on the entire trip to come down with girl friends the moment the As are over. just 4 days is enough. whos game??? i will organise the trip.



first day:

reached the hotel at bout 4pm due to... the jam. on the road i have to say that i traffic is better than two years ago. there is a big change in the standard on living of thailand. streets are WAY cleaner and traffic is WAY faster (though still jamming). temperatures are up to 37 degrees. talk bout disintegrating in sweat. anyway the thing that i was most surprised is how fast the lifts arrived at the hotel. if there was such thing as a speeding lift ticket, the hotel would have gotten the summon. the hotel room is a wonder. first time i really love a hotel room. reason? there are so many mirrors. at every point of the room you set ur foot on, you are sure to see a reflection of yourself. great for visual sexual activities. just imagine how the guys will love it to have four walls of naked woman while having sex. wow what a turn on.



night was at the new local night bazaar. not that bad a place. there was this open air "food court" with this band live. they can sing. stuff here is rather expensive for my version of thailand. and there is nothing much there to buy. see one see all.



second day:

journey into the outskirts of bangkok to look at the ancient monument. daddy hired a driver to bring us around. traveled two hours out to see bricks stacked on top on another. wala... you have an ancient monument. the people selling stuff outside kept speaking to me in thai. "????? ??? ??? ???????...." like hell i know what the earth they are talking. i know i look like thai but do they have to keep conversing to me in thai? i think it is better to act mute. but then after some thought... it is better for me to act dumb. i keep saying "mai ow" at least i learn some thai.



i acutally drove!!! in thailand. yeaH!!!



third day:

my favourite day = whole day at chuktuchuk. period. nothing is more wonderful than spending one entire freeking day at the most wonderful place that ever came up in thailand. this is the place were us singaporeans act bird with "cheap cheap cheap" all the way from aisle to aisle. so many things so buy!!! would have bought many other things if not for money. this time around there are so many clothes that i like. just that you cant try it and fat people like me may have wasted money to buy things that i cant possibaly fit into. that is why i had rejected many of the clothes even though i really wanted to buy. thais = slim. shanny = fat. so... shanny = no thai clothes.



they have really nice and comfy shoes there. just that they all are heels. i have enough heels already and i did not buy those really gorgous ones that i wanted. the thais very ai mei. almost every one wears heels. did you know that even to school the wear heels? crazy. just walking to school my feet ache liao.



fourth day:

stupid mommy lost her wallet. that means that there is less money to spent and no card to swipe. had to waste time travelling back to the hotel to cancel her visa. wasted three hours of precious shopping time. some more cannot swipe card at departmental stores. stupid!!! wanted to buy so many things. just that this time around there is really no money!!!



back to siam square. this is far eat plaza in thailand. all the clothes we have from singapore are all from thailand. just that after goint to chuktuchuk, the stuff dont seem that cheep anymore. did not buy anything in the end due to lack of money and time



dinner at the seafood market. the food here really good.



fifth day:

last day. plane home. stopped by at supermart for last minute shopping.



stuff shanny wanted to buy but did not

- sandels (no have)

- heels (really gorgious)

- addidas walking shoes (no time)

- poka dotted skirt (no size)

- long skirt (no size)

- baby tee which is damn nice and cheap (no time)

- dangling lights (no cheap)

- floor lights (no cheap)

- playboy racer back (no nice)

- playboy handbag (no nice)

- earings (no nice)

- flats (no cheap)



but dispite this... came back with one more bag and two boxes. plus few hand carries. haha...

BANGKOK HERE I COME



last day of bloggin before i fly off to my all time favourite place - bangkok!!! yeah man. that means that there will tons of shopping and more shopping. for 5 days!!! heaven. will be back on tue. yeah baby here i come!!!



if you pp are thinking if i will bring stuff back... sure thing i will. just that i hope the clothes in fashion there at this point of time better be good. i really need to stock up clothes again. tell me something new. anyway dont really know where are our destination haven this time but i can assure you that i will grow fat with all the food they have there. i always will love thai food.



just before i leave. have to sent amber to the pet hotel and baby to aunt lian's. just hope that amber will be happy there. i will sure miss her so very much.

drowning in national income

so much there is nothing going in.

i heard a voice



couldnt really sleep well last night at all. there was this voice in my head telling me to get involve in some high cardio activity to prevent fat and lard buildups. i have been awake since 5.45am this very morning and debating with this inner voice if i should go down for a run. it was a tough battle but i still won. this voice have been showering me with various outcomes of human extensive fat production theories. they are all scary.



*slap*

wake up you fat arse!!! stop lying there. take your jogging shoes and get involve!!! there is no time for laziness!!! fat prevention is a life time commitment. LIFE TIME YOU HEAR??? *slap* get a grip on ur fat production and lard development will you you arse!!! you are not going to be a sitting duck to all the gargantuanly elephantine oleaginous excesses to your THIGHS!!! *slap* wake up and do something!!! this is no joking matter!!! you dont want totally grosses out tree trunks for legs and pelicen wobble for arms and daddys beer tummy for tummy!!! *slap slap punch punch* too much adipose is bad for your health and mental development. you will lose ur self esteem and confidence u arse!!! you dont want that. you dont want to be a oversized peabrain with no confidence! that is the worse that will happen besides high blood pressure and over the charts cholestrol levels. those fats are going to choke ur blood circulation out and u will end up this piece of flubber lying in the middle of singapore.

*slap*

a guy donated blood to his girlfriend.

when they broke up, he wanted his blood back.

the girl threw a bloody kotex at him and said:

"i'll pay u in monthly installments!"

check this out



"to get natural blond highlights the cheap way, squeeze fresh lemon juice into your hair and stay in th sun for at least 45 mins"



cool right? i am thinkin now of oxidising hair till medium light brown then the above. then you get perfect blond streaked sun kissed hair. cool... do you think it kills the hair?

a brand "NEW" start OATH



i, shanny tan jingxian, is going to have a new beginning as from this day onwards in preparation for the up and coming A levels at the start of November. i will have to keep my head buried in books and notes for the next 6 months. there will be no more procrastination and temporizing of school related activities and newly found CCA (studying). time spend out of the house will have to be sacrificed. that means that there will be no time for fun activities unless proven to have studied hard.

the virile viking

novel by Sandra Hill



damn funny book. or at least i think so. 999 AD viking with 9 offsprings in 2003 hollywood and falls in love. too dumbly lame a story line but oh mi god... you have to read this. the sex scenes are GOOD TOO!!!!! really... so free-can detailed.



something new i have to say. not the usual timetravel romance novel this one IS FUNNY!!! now i want to read her other books!!!

canon exhibition at EXPO



there is this exhibition at the expo this weekend. daddy was there and bought this really pro digital camera. should have gone with him so that i can get my canon Ixus I. now i regret. old cam cannot upload to com. something wrong with cable. need a digital cam.

hairy pot-of-luck



mommy company rocks. everytime also have very nice shows for free. song bo? the last time was lord of the rings and this time it is my all awaited harry potter! they have such nice shows for screening. cant believe i always have such good luck to be able to watch these movies FREE OF CHARGE! love Haliburton! there is spiderman up next month first saturday. hope mommy can hurry up go kope tickets. i will not give up a free movie for anything in the world!



talking bout hairy potter. think the show was okay only leh. still not very true blue to my book. book still rocks the entire world of muggles and aliens and what have you. the thing bout watching the movies of harry potter is that you can finally put a face to all those characters that you have been reading bout. they finally have this face you have longed so very long to see. never have i thought werewolves looked like that. ditto the dementors. i have always thought that they were just wolves that happen to change form not wolves that stand on two legs and attack my sirus. never have i thought dementors looked so big head-ed and flowy like ghost. just thought they were just really thin black bones. and i have to say that harry's stag looked marvelous.



my harry/hermione/ron are all so grown up now. they all a bunch of chio bus and yan daos. hermione looks way too good for a 14/15 year old. not the hermione i saw in the first movie. i wish i was her, waving wands and such. hiazzz.



the other thing is thier divinity classes. if only SA's divinity lessons are just reading crystal balls and tea leaves. i would more than gladly go take it up as my A level subject.



i want to be a witch!!!

want to have magical powers!!!

want to fight evil villians!!!

want a snowy white owl like hegwig (KJ not talkin bout u)!!!

want live in hogwards!!!

want to have magical maps that can tell were who is!!!

want to be able to cast petronas in form of stag!!!

want to be every thing harry potter/hermione is!!!

i want

i want

I WANT!!!!!!!

saw a stack of econ notes on desk

puked

almost died

woman of the house



yup. i seem to be able to multi-task pretty well during this traumatising period of time. with no one at home and this woman here have to cook lunch for all adolesent in the household. jack of all trades master of none i happen to be. i do everything that a normal maid can do... just without pay. mommy dont even want to give me more allowance this month. think she is trying to keep me at home. without allowance will mean that i cant go out coz the defination of "going out" means spendin money. smart but not smart enough. when there is a will there is a way. and you can NEVER STOP shanny from doing the things she wants to do.



have been reading everyones blogs and they all have at least one of the following word in the past week of blogging - "shop" "shopping" "cheap" "sale" "orchard" "movie" "friends". and so far this soul at bishan have never stepped out of the house's 1km radius the entire week. the furthest i have been is J8. speaking of J8 they have finally opened the new wing's 1st floor. the bread talk is huge. anyway, back to topic. i have not talked to much of a human being called friend in the past five days. my isolation treatment is making me really sick of the four walls. need to break out. or i'll just go mad and the next time you see me it would be in the sanitorium. haiz...



lunch i cooked today was not that bad considering that this is my first time baking chicken. just need to season over night.

final fantasy



i know i should not be doing this at this point of my life. but i just cant help it. i am so irritating sianz diao and dying at home i decided to start playing my FF7 again. yes!!! i know i should be hitting the books instead of the PS but i just cant help my fingers and brains. many of you would say that the game is so ancient and i agree. but i cant help it!!!!!!!



ps: shihui ask me to go chinablack on mon. should i go? then i will have to use my normal zhao again.

i CAN cook



yes. decent food that is edible. comfirm will not have stomach ache. just soup noodles but it taste like heaven. figuring wats for dinner.

my list of food around singapore



is close to non existant now. just went to jurong today to eat mince meat noodle with the family. journied all the way there find that the hawker center is no longer there anymore. the building is nowhere near visible and the air is no longer filled with the redolence and aroma of sweet sented FOOD! all i smell is a new HBD estate over the previous grounds. to think that the singpore government works so fast that in a year since i last went there, they already had the place recemented and pilled.



then we went to try to eat fish head curry at jurong (near tang dynasty - yes it is still standin) the hawker hawker center is still there but MY FISH HEAD CURRY has DISSAPEARED into the thinest and foulest smelling air. DARN!!! every time i want to eat something real authentic and orginal. it just dissapears into air. leaving me fake-ko wanna be stores selling the same thing but totally nan chi. ended up so pissed we settled for our clayfish tang hoon. not that bad, but does not move a rank up to smelling my CURRY FISH HEAD and MINCE MEAT NOODLES's butt.



haiz... that is probally the closing end to my list of food in the west. is really hurts the heart and pocket (for petrol) to drive all the way to the other end of the earth to find that what you were there for is no longer there anymore. haiz... there are still good food in jurong that i know of, but my list is down by two items. just on sunday we traveled to queensway to eat my horfan but the hawker center is down for renovation. maybe the singapore government should slow down their development series. my tummy is the oppoturnity cost.



hope the next time i travel all the way round the world. my hawker center better be there.

repeated till i die



my days left the entire holiday will go as follow -

9am - bring amber down

10am - wash plates and watever

11am - prepare lunch for human and dog

12nn - eat

1pm - slack (or iron)

2pm - TV

3pm - TV

4pm - clean house floor + laundry

5pm - clean baby's cage

6pm - worry bout dinner

7pm to next morn - die due to lack of energy



think i can be a professional maid. can set that aside for future career choices. i can even cook decent food. sure there will be some one who would want to hire me. i am so effecient! sometimes i wonder if i have the time to study for BT2 or even go out this holiday. feel like unpaid labour. ought to be getting some sort of pay for this.



i bet the smoky and polluted town air smells much better than what i have now. in fact it smells like heaven. i want to go out. just that nobody is calling me out to town. (HINT) need to get out of the house. just call me out. prison. just that i can leave jo at home all by herself la. i worry bout her food. i am actually showing care and concern for my sis. i am proven to be a good sister. face it.



just spent quality time with her today. doing housework together. and watching my latest taiwan tv serial - "snow angel". think that emotional thing runs in the family. my sis actually cries when she is watching tv. that is something i have never knew. cool. so i am not the only one in this house that wails over tv shows. caught my sis many times tearing and sucking nose over few disc.



finally watched the entire show - volume 1 to 3, all 23 disc. think this show can have 7.5/10. not that bad. just that i really hate the ending. go watch it if you have nothing to do this holidays. rent or buy or steal watever, just go watch it.



have not ever had the mood to sit down and study. dont feel like doing anything except slack and wait for the sky to fall and earth to shake. not proving to be efficient in this point so far. will get down to filing my worksheets this thurs.