what us the damn-it problem with girls and swimming

it is so hard to be the captain for the girls swimming team, if you think it is hard trying to rally a team of 5 to play on some hard floor court, think again... just imagine trying to gather girls up to swim 25 freeking meters in water. i cant even get 3 freshies la. wasted tones of saliva trying to persuade the whole world into joining this whole thing. i am so getting salivaphobia.

what is it with girls and insercurity? why do everyone think that they cannot swim coz they just dont want guys and the rest of the world to see them in a swimsuit? everytime i ask "join swimming?" i get a tape recorded variation of "cannot swim" or "i dont have a swimsuit" where it really means "i dont want to be seen in a swimsuit"

hey... if you think that the swimsuit is not the most flattering piece of cloth there is on earth. guess what??? you are not the only one who hates that thing. i also think so. i mean what is so flattering bout showing off my elephant thighs!!! i mean it could be a national torture to the rest of the world. by at least i try taking my pants off. girls should just learn to love themselves. yes you may think that you are fat. but you must learn how to live with it...

if you think that you are fat... just look at my terribally unproportionate body. at least you dont look like cock.

anyway... swiming tryouts were kinda fun. ill swim rather then run anytime. i mean... at least you dont sweat. plus swimmin at night rocks la. swim like millions of donkey years ago la. when was the last time i gotten my flying fish badge??? centuries ago... i have not swam competitive since sec 1???? super long time liao. then now i take my timing like utter shit la. damn freeking slow. my legs not kicking fast enough and my arms not pulling hard enough. think must go join nick for weight training before sunday.

damn hockey

i whole freeking body is aching like the ends of the earth. my legs, shoulders, armpits. my everything la. then i have bruises from where the ball hit me last. think i better bathe in deep heat. even the guys agreed that it is the most dangerour sport ever played at IBG. so many scrapped knuckles and sprained ankel and bloody knees and bruises. lucky i din break anything.

what tut do i have today morn???? Jap Study at where???? freeking AS4 3rd floor. like so far up in heaven.... with my leg aching like that it was like climbing mount everest. just imagine urself have to walk from LT11 busstop to the top of the hill then climb another flight of steps. why dint they just leveled the ground when they built the school??? the least they could do is to instal escalators right????

the game was fun and everything although i seriously thought we sucked like super elephant time. but to think that i have never EVER touched a hockey stick before, i was GOOD!!! think i can put myself as the star player for the team... hehe... must be MODEST. haha. lost like crap until they put my in front. but i would still rather play defender. lizard said that i have the makings of a defender. well...

soccer = defender
track = just run
hockey = defender + bit of attack
freesbeeeeee = goalie aka defender
handball = goalie aka defender

welcome to my world man... made for defending. plus defendin rocks coz you dont have to run that much. worse still is that add is going to put my bloody name down for IHG hockey. NO!!! she has got to be kidding. if i take n IHG hockey then i am putting myself into torture and a million more bruises. and then hockey have to run... i cannot explain how much i hate running man. it is a renown fact that i really hate running. make me run more then 5 mins and i could just kill you. that is why i play tennis. coz there is not much running for doubles players. though i am very much a base liner.

i want to stay...

i have been thinking very to often what i should join to make sure i have enough base points to stay in hall without keeping myself too busy the entire year. try to do the things i love and make sure i can at least sercure myself a room for next year. since i cannot get into KRX and scraped off hall production. maybe i can live without a culture group and still survive.

i am seriously thinking of running for block comm. i think it will really help in my block bonding and everything. since i really want to stay then what is better then running for comm since B block is where i am going to be for a long time. might as well try hard to make sure i get to know the block better. but the thing is that i am not confident enough on running. heard that van, andi and colin maybe running. i think i dont hvae much of a chance against them leh. i am not really sure bout the responsibilty. i think i can handle responsibility well as long as i want to put my heart into it. being team cap before helps.

never mind. i am thinking of taking on photo comm. since i really love taking pictures and everything. why not just make use of this and do it since i like it. then i can also be highly prominant with a camera in my hands and then everyone will know who i am. hahah... love to be highly prominant.

then of course i am going to play sports. what is life without getting involve in sports??? tennis is a sure thing. my llife without tennis is incomplete. but then again i really do hope i am good enough to play first team. but the thing is that i have been playing doubles my entire life and then i dont have a partner here in KR. i took so long to find myself a worthy partner last year. soccer i dont really mind and then i think i can make it in table tennis. i think as long as i have some training i think illl be able to use my racquet strokes to do something bout it.

i want to stay!!!!
but the other thing is my results and whether mommy let me stay

university is doing things to my friends. everyone is talking bout getting attach and the topic of guys is brought up kazillion times in a sinlge conversation. the more i hear people talk bout it the more i think i should get serious bout the matter. i dont want to die an unloved loney virgin!!!

i mean... uni is the hunting ground with a blatent declaration of rabbit season! i think everyone around me is taking out their most powerful guns and strongest bullets to take shot of anything with Y chorosomes that moves. at lease they have people that is after them la. still want to complain. people like me is most properble to be the one who moves into a one room flat with a dozen cats at her feet while knitting on a rockin chair.

most people i know suddenly have the "guy" issues that have never been an issue. suddenly there is an element of "guy" in their lives. when is it till me turn???!!!????

i love single life too much i think. i mean i've already spotted some guys out there who is highly desirable. but not really my type at first glance. but i am not in a hurry to get attached. i always think that THE ONE takes the right time and the right place. something called chemistry i guess.

as much as i would love. i dont really have the use for a tall dark and handsome guy. as much as i always talk bout how i will love nice biceps or shoulders, there is not really a used for them right? you will have to share his looks with all the other girls at orchard road everytime you go for a movie. all that is needed is just an attraction to a certain X-factor. i guess the important thing is understanding. my guy doesnt have to be tall. i will not really mind if he is shorter then me actually. shorter guys are relatively much better people. GOD IS FAIR. i am not picky. he just have to carry himself well. call that charisma.

i realised that my ideal partner package is not really needed. the more i think of it. the more i think it bottles down to knowing him.

B-block 4th floor girls

perpetual uselessness

i am useless to KR culture. damn it. i missed out the application for hall production crew. great... now i am not ever likely ever going to get a chance to stay in hall coz i dont have enough points. they are just going to end up kicking me out next year and my university life will be reduced to one of those boring, unstimulating ones. i din even know bout the whole thing. read my email late an hour and what do i get? blocked out of the most happening thing that is going to occur in hall. great...

my future to theatere is really not even in existence.

but really. i cant believe this is happening to me. i think ill just run for block comm and then play a few sports. that should be enough. what if i dont get into block comm??? worse come to worse ill just threaten to hang myself in my room from the ceiling fan.

geog sucks

yes... it is coming out from me. i dont understand a crap bout anything he is talking bout. lecture... no clue... tutorial... no link... how??? i am just going to fail this whole module and then spend the rest of my life as a road sweeper. my future seems so bleak. i dont understand the whole concept in the first place and then the writing style is so different. i really hope that i can get thisi before i Fail with a capital F.

the other thing is philo. i totally regreat taking this. plato should just go and die again. he doent even make sense.

i wasted three hours of my life
freeiking bloody SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am damn pissed. not just pissed i am DAMN OVER THE MOON FREEKING BLOODY PISSED OFF drama rejected me. THEY ACUTALLY REJECTED MOI after i put in three hours of my life auditioning for it!!! i din even get through to the first round. it's okay... i dont need them. acutally i was rather desperate to get in and after going throught the series of emotions from sad to anger to irritation and now fustration after seeing that my name was not on the list... i resign to fate.

as much as i love drama and acting so much... i guess i can always do it on my own. one day some hollywood director will notice me and before you know it ill be on the big screen. then when they do an interview on tv, ill go:

host: so shanny, this is your first break into the industry. many people think that you are a good actress. so how did you start out your career?

me: i was just approached by *mr so-and-so* and he reliased my potential and offered me to star in his next movie.

host: You have started acting when you were very young. What were the highs and lows acting in you whole life?

me: i have started acting since i was in primary school. everything went well and i did it all the way till i was REJECTED BY KENT RIDGE'S KRX. they didnt think i was good enough for them. and apparently they were wrong, they were VERY WRONG!!!

ill love to say someting like that. think ill just go and sue them. as much as i think ill really enjoy being part of KRX. the people there seems so fun. drama is always fun!!! there are two things in my life i am passionate about. one of them is tennis the other is drama. i grew up doing both and it is so integrated in me that i could put everything else aside to do it. and guess what???? they are no even giving me the chance to choose what i want to put first in my life.

like hey man... i'm a grade 6 cert holder when i was in sec 3 la. if i had continuned with drama after my O's i could be teaching them how to do it. i am just two more exams from holding a diploma in speach and drama!!! i bet i know more techicals of speach and drama then the average member!!! i still have my theory book in my drawer at home!!! it was 300+ pages thick for grade 6 okay!!!!

i still cant believe what went wrong. maybe they just realy hate me!!! no drama??? nevermind!!! ill just have to focus on something else and make sure i do well at it. just damn them!!!!!

seriously... i am still freeking pissed off to the ends of the earth, i really wonder what was their reasons. was i really not good enough???!!??? was it because i dint do star to burst??? they rest are good i dont deny, but i really cant help but hate it. i just hope everything else is not going to turn up this way. this KRX thing could be the reason i am going to leave hall. who knows???

i still cant believe it. i do take my drama seriuosly. but i guess i must know when to give it up.
give up a part of you?
break a leg
or a neck

now i am very cynical when i read on ppl's blogs on the things that that want to do to enrich their uni lives

F CORS

idiot!!!
cannot get my JS module tutorial slot
damn pissed
now i have to go for the monday 8 am one

8 AM LEH!!!!!
on a MONDAY!!!

who wakes up that freeking early to go for tutorials????

crash and watch

linus room is so nice. got suround sound lor. spent like almost three hours sitting on his bed watching naruto. he is such a nice guy to let me disturb him for so long. and you know what? i miss my naruto. linus is the only person in hall i know that downloads anime at such a big scale. i am going to frequent him room more often.

spent as long as i can remember trying to log in to cors. according to charlie, this is the first time this stupid system crashed for such a long time. it is not fun when you spend you entire morning from 9am trying to log in and then find that you cant enter the system and then you try to get everyone you can find on msn asking them if they could get in, which they all could not. then you panic and pray to god that you secretly can get in and the rest of the world dont

it wasnt until 3 am last night that i could get in.
yes... 3 freeking am...

no i just hope that i get all the slots i want. i have odd and even weeks filled with different mod with the same timeslots. hope that works out.

now my tutorials i am alone. never been so alone before. i am going to take my tutorials like i am the only person left on earth.

shacked out

so many trainings, so many mornings, so many days
so little energy left.

my whole body is aching like crazy. if i have a choice ill chop them all off and then take away all the nerves. ill maybe just kill myself. yesterday morn run 400m and then 100m until my legs were all soft and rubbery. then after that was hockey training and then i was aching so bad i cant walk the stairs. then there was this bruise i got on my knee from donno when.

damn it la.. just came back from soccer training and then i have to go and ballot for the stupid tutorials which i dont want to attend at all. donno how many people are trying to log in now. i cant even load the page. what if i dont have any slots and then i can just go kill myself.

thinking of keeping my tuesday free. think i need a free day

why do people assume things bout me

why do people assume i play every sport there is on earth??? i just happen to be tanned and dark and look sporty and the whole world thinks that i play anything that involves sweating??? what a major misconception.

please take not that the only sport i play is tennis. and tennis only. maybe the ocassional squash.
but i dont play basketball, netball, handball, volleyball, soccer, and everything else that makes people sweat and run around.

why??? i really dont get it at all. dark people who walks around with their legs wide open and happens to be loud does not equal to play any sport at the snap of the fingers.

the girls are all really DOTS in sports. maybe the first time for most of them to play the sport but why are they so DOTS. nothing against them, but why???!!!???

i think all the girls added the name "shanny" to their list of people joining the sport. why???

i am missing out on a lot of things

okay... i cant believe i am missing out on this dating game thingy.
there is something wrong with me
lyn cancelled out on me
and leave me with two choices

1) salsa with old woman and men
2) dateless game

with i am going to have both.
i cant believe it
why???!!!!????

nevermind. i will survive

wake up in the morning
AGAIN!!!
back to 4 hour sleep

yes the training for IBG has finally started. i have barely done the sleeping routine and we are up and running for games i have never played in my entire life before. just great. hall is really depriving me of my sleep. but i have never had so much fun. it feels so good to be able to interact amoung people.

handball training started this morn at 6 am. barely slept for 4 hours and i have people knocking on the door. i have lessons at 8 am but yet i still rush this butt of mine down to SRC to throw a few balls. i think i can play hand ball. but really... a thing to note is that i cant stand playing with people who eww at the ball like it is some flying lizard. if you are one of these people. screw off my path. you are not agressive enough to get into this game. go find something else. like picking berries.

actutally at first i not very keen on this whole IBG and the waking up at ridicules hours. but when everyone does it together. it is not that bad. i really hope i get along with the seniors in the hall. i really want that. i want the kind of relationship with them as i have with the E block people. i kinda sucks living so close with people who dont care bout you and cant talk to you. some of them are okay and easy to talk you but they are the miniority. i want the crash my room and talk cock for hours type.

think ill have to leave this to time and the whole IBG thing. this IBG thing better turn out fun and socially enhancing. my life in the hall depends on this.

guess what??? i am captain for the girls swimming team for IBG. laugh all you want coz i have already laughed my heads off. seriously. i have never swam for ages and here i am volunteering for the role of captain. but hey... at least you dont sweat when you play the sport. the only bad thing that happens is that you have to wear a damned swimsuit and parade for the rest of the world to see.

i have something with parading my legs. fat legs are not nice.

should be stoned on national day

i decided to drag myself home from hall and i spend the whole time at home doing the thing i need most. ON NATIONAL DAY!!! i got my butt out of mark's room and into the cab and onto the bus and throught NTUC. and then throught the doors. and then what do i do the rest of the day???

i was planning to watch the national day parade and all the night display part and what did i do???

i was sitting on the couch and watching tv. the song. the march. the president...
then....

i slept!!! yes people i din even get to see the fireworks or the light displays or even hear the national day "reach out for the stars" song being sung. i slept!!! through 8pm last night all the way straight to 7 am this morn. i must have been really tired to have slept so long on national day. maybe staying in hall is really draining to me. for a person who needs her 8 hours sleep, i have not been getting what i need for the past 2 weeks. but now that the sch term starts i am sure to sleep longer throught the morn.

but really... national day followed by daddy's birthday and i SLEPT!!!
someone shoot me...

now i have to watch pathetic reruns.
damn

today marks the day

8 augest marks to start to a new life. this marvelous date marks the start to a new life of torture and pain. all over again do we have to spend time doing the things that we hate - study. i hate that feeling. after 8 months of slacking away in heaven and now we are pushed in to the ablissm of hell. crap shit!!!

got played out by the lect timetable. thought that the start of my monday lect was today until i came back to read the bloody email to know that it starts on the 22!!! like freek la. now i am in hall with nothing to do until 10pm. why did i come home so early???!!!!????

i am feeling very pissed off at the lect. cheat my time. but never mind. ill go do my computer and then think what else i can do to occupy the rest of my day.

feel very left out. kinda. spaced out without any form of reason to visit the people i want to. damn cheated. like i am some unwanted guest.

tears marks the end and a new begining

orientation is finally over. after two whole weeks it is finally at the end with rag day when the parade of the floats. the raggers have spent so much time over the past 3 months only to face with nothing. it is so sad. i actually felt sad that we din win. i really din expect to feel anything but i felt SAD...

i almost dropped a tear when i saw kendric cry.

it wrentched my heart out. he really put in so much effort in this whole rag day thing and it really hurts me to see him cry. but there was something else when i saw him up there still waving the flag even.

so SAD!!!

why cant everyone win. if i put myself into rag com next year and we lost... i will really cry out like no one business lor. just imagine 3 months of 24 hours hard work put to trash. literally.

i am really getting to feel like i belong to somewhere in NUS. i have this sense of identity. they were right. it feels very different when you are standing together and cheering like no one's business. it pays to have a sense of sercurity.

but now... all there is left is school on monday.

peeling sensation

i have no where to put my face. my damn back is peeling like onion today. it looks hideously hideous. i can no longer wear my spec strap for bout 2 weeks. what am i to wear then? all i have is specs. i can no longer dress up like a hottie now that my back looks raw and bout to fall apart into pieces.

i look worse then shit man...

I NEED MORE SLEEP!!!

i find that i am in this state of torture. i cant keep my eyes open even if you pay me a million dollars to do it, i am suffering from sleep depression. there is nothing in my head now. just point blank.

the past two week i have barely slept. last night i slept the most of 6 hours but i still woke up crawling to the toilet. at least let me wake later if you make me sleep late. i feel like dying. if i could throw myself out of the window how nice would that be? just that i will suffer coz of the three floor drop.

screw bedtime

i am so getting use to this hostel life where you will never sleep and when you do you only sufface with max of 4 hours.

sleep at 4.
wake late.
supper in the middle of the night.
bunking all over the place.

i have never did anything close to this. somehow by some miracle i manage to put throught the whole week living on 4 hours of sleep when all the activities are so high. people like me used to sleep at 10 and wake at 7 and then next time you know it you are trying your best to sleep late coz everyone does it.

but really. i am begining to love this life where no one cares of you. you see your friends every day and spend time doing things together.

slept at 4 last night only to be forced to wake at 8 to go for my drama production thingy. well... now i am going to sleep and the bloody weather is so nice.

orientation is over
damn it la...

it is so sad to know that the orientation is over. i have grown to love my og so much. this is actually the best orientation i have very had in my entire life. got to know so many people. it is so sad to know that we are going to leave the E block people. ill miss them sorely. i cant imagine my life without them after knowing them for such a time where we had to much fun.

what a pity that i am not in E block. they are such fun funny people to be with. i mean. those were the times when i was talking rubbish with pp. HOW!!!???!!!

darn KR and the block culture.
i want E block!!!

the og girls were all very on. then there was a time i set my eyes on deric... oh mr hottie deric. he is comfirm one of the hottest guys i have ever seen in my entire life in singapore. not taking note of swiss guys or french. he is so the hottest freshmen guy. janelle is totally swooning over him like mad... then there was this game played...

dots....

damn it la. i miss all of them!!!!