Sara tagged me so here it is

Four jobs that i've had..3-4 grade teacher, 7-12 grade english teacher (yes - quite a jump...but is it?), camp secretary, and lifeguard

Four movies i would put on repeat...The Princess Bride, Sweet Home Alabama, Tommy Boy, and The Village

Four Vacation spots...Jamacia (mo bay), Williamsburg, The Adirondacks, The Beach

Four foods i would eat anytime...Chocolate, French Fries, Donuts, Ice Cream

Four changes i would make to my house...buy a 2 story old house to remodel, get a choclate lab, have a spa tub, have a room that is just a library

Four beers i like...I don't like beer so I'll go with other beverages...sparkling grape juice, raspberry desert wine, starbucks anything, sobe

four t.v shows...Alias, Survivor, Numbers, Extreme Makeover home edition

Four tags...1. Kevin,2. anyone else who actually reads this blog

So I have often justified my frustration with my students of late as teacher stuff and them being the attitudy, disrespectful ones and though they may at times be that pastor comings talked to them today in chapel about all that he saw in them and it really kicked me in the attitudy rear about my attitude. I stepped into the school year happy and excited to see all that was going on in their lives and then after weeks of school all I can see is the negative. I really had to start looking at the good that I saw around me and focus on that and it is much more encouraging and rewarding. I was also humbled by the realization of my attitude and need to change how I think about my position. And today as I began to see all the blessings and communicate what I saw I in turn was blessed.

God has given us such grace and strength these last few days...I have really come to sense his presence in real ways. I am so thankful for his hand working in my life through everything I am facing...we lost a baby...I was only a few weeks along but I have seen God's hand in it...it has given us hope and that is what i named him or her...the baby was God's gift and blessing to us even for the few days we knew it...and he has given me peace...I sorrow, I cry, but I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that he is able to keep which I have committed unto him until that day...I have changed because of that little life...

Well, life is about to change and it has been a long time coming...nothing is 100 percent but there is a light in the horizion and hope for the future...a few places may be a possibility for ministry and the hope of the possibility of a new life as well...there is joy and yet shame...shame that I doubted and failed to trust...that my vision was so limited by my own timing and definiton of things...but God is faithful and even if things don't pan out it will be hard but there will be that glimmer of hope.

vacation from school has been a nice vacation from everything including proper grammer...i even was accousted by a student at the staff retreat and refused a converstation with her about anything school...yet on the couch next to me is a pile of papers to grade and all i want to do is run away...

my husband spoke yesterday at this church in syracuse and he wants so badly to be a pastor again and would love being back up in that area...there are 2 possiblities but no guarantee that either will pan out.

I finally took some time to do introspection over the last year and it was not shocking but sort of depressing...there is a lot i have been dealing with that i didn't realize had been affecting me so much...especially living close to my family and going to my home church...so much of my past battles with people's expectations and my own of myself and others has become much more complicated.

so, one more day after today and it is back to school and tomorrow is my birthday so yah!! My husband is taking off work so we can spend the day together...going out to eat, going to a movie...yes...a real date!!!