Five years ago today I married my best friend.

Oh...and I have to give a happy birthday shoutout to our camp mascot...how cute is she!

So, the week has gone by faster than we thought and in 8 days a lot of things may change for us. 1. we may be accepted and brant lake and begin the process of getting ready to move on.
2. we will have celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary
3. we may be expecting...if these drugs do their job.

Wow...so much! I just want to make sure I'm not so busy looking toward the future that I miss out on what God has for me this week. We had a ladies craft day today and the speaker was a former staffer who lost her son in a car accident and it was both moving and challanging....the biggest thing I got from it was that I need to have a willingness to surrender to God and look for Him to be glorified in my life in any circumstance. She said if God gave her a chance to have it all over again she would still be willing to lose her son because of what she learned, how she grew, and what God has done. Wow!!

yep...just cute...it's called where two or three are gathered. This is what I feel like right now...On my knees and knowing others are there with me.

This is the small little country church that may become our new adventure!

We are home and God has worked...though we will not know until Oct. 1st what the church is going to choose we had some very positive feedback. It is a small church but great people, a great area, and some great opportunities. The people are pretty easy going country folk who like to laugh and joke with each other. The area is one what we love...the adirondacks is one of our absolute favorite places!! The church is older but still nice and the parsonage is really nice. It even has a little barn/garage for kevin, a dishwasher, a back porch, and a huge yard for a garden. It will definitely need some paint and such but it wouldn't be bad at all. We are still praying though...we want this to be what God wants. I am also in the middle of my fertility stuff so if it works I should be able to get pregant within the next two weeks...wow, a lot going on in the next two weeks...

so excitement has turned to nerves as we get ready to head up to the Adirondacks right after school tomorrow and all I can say about it is AHHHHHH...(this is not a I'm stressed out of my mind Ahh but more of a it's scary and highly anticipatory)

I know this is quite a random topic but it really has got me going...you see, I come from a home where my mother can create this huge spread for whoever happens to be there and seems to pull it out of thin air and know how to do it perfectly.

Then there's me...am I really her child...this makes me question it. There came a point growing up that i had screwed up a few things enough to become the family joke and so college resulted in me avoiding the waffle maker out of fear. I actually had a friend walk me through it the first time.

So, living on my own I can do whatever so I do...pasta is easy and I always have the pizza recipe mom gave me that is a fall back on whenever someone is over. But, then comes marriage to a guy that cooks better than I do...so, food network became my best friend and I pick up some good tips and was educated on all sorts of stuff.

However, when one is working full time and traveling on the weekends, cooking for only 2 becomes more of a burden...I have to admit NY Pizzeria is our good friend and the Chinese place in Cortland too...but that is only a once a week splurge on our salary so the rest of the time I'm trying to pull something out of my butt...so last night was perogies and hot dogs.

I feel weird that we still do mac and cheese out of the box and in someways a failure. But, what seems so easy for someone else to throw together is not for me...I try menus and such but I don't always have time for that or the energy to find new ways to make chicken or use ground beef. I do have a wonderful husband who takes his turn cooking too which is a blessing but I am even more insecure because I know he's better at it than I am.

I guess I still have these perceptions of what makes a good wife and cookings pretty much up there on the list and I'm pretty much not getting there.

So, we made it back from Belmont and all I can say is I definitely feel like it more than anything else was a dress rehearsal for next weekend. Kevin did a great job and the people were really nice but it was not necessarily the church for us. It is definitely going to be a busy week so there won't be too much time to think about this weekend. We are also going up on Friday and staying at a hotel in Lake George for the weekend to celebrate our anniversary a little early. The leaves are supposed to be at about peak and I am looking forward to the time away.

Oh, and we saw a doosey of a church sign....

Thinking about Coming? Start Now!

Nope, don't recommend using that one for a ministry slogan...

So, Monday I spent the morning relaxing a little and then headed out to Ithaca with Mom, Dad, and Chris in their new ride and it ended up being a ride as Dad misguided Mom directionally but I have to admit I laughed most of the way...between Chris and Dad...they crack me up!

Tuesday school started again...it has definitely been different this year for a lot of reasons. I have a different lunch period (not with the high school) which for me is huge. I really spent most of my lunch periods either catching up with my friend Dawn (the math teacher) or having so awesome hang out and talking time with some of my high schoolers. So, I miss it. I also am teaching gym so 3 days a week I can wear gym clothes...it feels weird after teaching for so long in skirts but I am enjoying it. The elementary gym classes have been fun and pretty easy...basically teaching them how to follow directions. I finally had jr. high and sr. high girls gym and basically just went over everything...we'll see how it goes.

Wed. I called my dr. because this medicine was suppose to start doing something and it hadn't. I found out it could be another week which means later for everything else and then got to school on Thur. and found out a friend of mine is pregnant and then felt guilty because I was happy for them but it hit me hard that I still wasn't. So I had a good cry and talked to God about it...didn't really get much of an answer but I am working on surrendering my will - not so much fun but the right thing to do and worth it in the end.

Went over to camp last night to help with registration for the teen retreat. It was fun to see Tiff and Cadi again but I really feel like I don't really fit anymore. I am seeing God's hand in that too because if we do move that experience has helped me feel ok about leaving Bayouca. Not that it won't always be important but that I am ok stepping away from my role. I really needed that.

So, today we are off to Western NY for Kevin to pulpit supply and next weekend we will be up in the Adirondacks canidating at a church up there. It will be interesting to see what God will do.

Oh, and you know how sometimes you read something at just the right time? I have been reading Shattered Dreams by Larry Crabb and though it sounds like a knife to the heart, cut you open type of book...it has been incredibly encouraging and needful...it has reminded me that it is ok to hope and to stiffle those hopes and desires is wrong...it's just how we direct them...Highly recommed it!!