So, today I say goodbye to another saint in my life. My family was "adopted" into the Parker family from the time I was an infant. We grew up spending holidays with them and so they are somewhat closer to us than even our own extended family. Today I say goodbye to Grandma Parker. At around 12:30 this afternoon she went home to be with the Lord...she joins her husband and her sons David and Douglas. David passed away a little less than 2 years ago in a car accident and it has been really hard on the family since then so I ask you to pray for them as they face more grief. It was not completely unexpected and she lived to be 92 years old and through those years loved God and her family! I will miss her greatly and am thankful for her for being my spiritual grandmother.

So, I finally got some answers. Found out I'm less than 10 weeks along...my new due date is Sept. 22nd. I got to hear the babies heartbeat which was exciting. Had all the fun required "treatment" and my other problem is inflimation and so she just said to keep an eye out and if it gets worse to get to the dr. asap. So, keep praying!!

I Will Lift My Eyes

God, my God, I cry outYour beloved needs You now
God, be near, calm my fear
And take my doubt
Your kindness is what pulls me up
Your love is all that draws me in

I will lift my eyes to the Maker
Of the mountains I can't climb
I will lift my eyes to the Calmer
Of the oceans raging wild
I will lift my eyes to the Healer
Of the hurt I hold inside
I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to You

God, my God, let Mercy sing
Her melody over me
God, right here all I bring
Is all of me
Cause You are and You were and You will be forever
The Lover I need to save me
Cause You fashioned the earth and
You hold it together, God
So hold me now

I don't know who has read the Papa Prayer but in it he refers to the red dot...you are here. We'll I'm sitting down to acknowledge where I am right now. Let me start out with what went on this last week.

Monday I was able to hang out with a lady from the church and then we had our kids program. It was about 5 before we finally got home and 15 minutes later we received a phone call that one of the men from our church went to the hospital b/c he was throwing up blood. We headed down to Glens Falls (the nearest hospital - about 20 minutes away) and spent that night and the next day sitting with the family as they learned his stomach was one large tumor and after 7 hours of surgery he ended up with a sort of gastric bypass. It was a blessing to be there for them but also emotionally draining. Tuesday night I noticed some spotting.

Wednesday we finally got our big snow storm - 2 feet. My husband was so excited but I wasn't feeling wells still. We both were so tired we slept through dinner and ended up having our Valentines Day dinner the next day.

Well, the spotting continued on and off and i called the dr. She gave me some antibiotic for it being a UTI. So, I'm waiting to see if it will help and if not I am going to call again and go see the dr. My problem has been more the mental strain. I wake up in the middle of the night begging God to keep the baby healthy. I am at times paralyzed by the fear of another miscarriage. Kevin, being tired, made a not so smart comment yesterday that threw me into a good crying spell. And I have been trying to lay low and not do much because of it but I see all the things around me that need to be done.

So, I didn't go to church today so that I could just take it easy. So, like boykin's teaching us about Jacob...I got in the ring with God. I told him that if he is the one who is knitting this baby together why can't he knit it so it stays and is healthy. I bargained, I pleaded, I question, and then I listened. I let the truths I know challange me. My white flag is waving and I have to trust His plans. He will give me the grace to face either situation. But, I am still a little sad and a little scared. So, I just keep talking to Him and reminding myself of his truths. I also ask for you prayers.

I received a bible, that has daily readings and is in chronological order, a few years ago. I started reading through it again this year and some things struck me. The first is how detailed the tabernacle was and their worship was. There were so many little things that they were required to do. One other thing I was challanged with was how Moses talked to God and sometimes seem to talk him out of things...that blows my mind! The other thing that struck me is how even with God being present with them...they were so fickle. Yet, how many times am I the same way. I have God indwelling me and yet I rebel and question.

So I asked the dr.'s office if i could get a copy of the utlrasound and they said becaue it was at the hospital I would have to contact them. So, I called the hospital and they weren't sure if they could at first and she acted weird because I wanted one when I was so early to get one. Then they called back and said they could so they are mailing it. Maybe it's just the weird north country but some of my friends have gotten them early and it's not been a big deal...oh well.

I think we got something with that whole snack name thing...my dad used to call me hot dog. I wonder what would be some other good ones...cracker jack...well part of that may be taken as racial...nacho...too ethnic...pringle...too weird...or we could go with the celeb baby names like apple and cocoa.

So, the baby is fine...Yah!!!! But (and there always has to be one of those) the dr. says they saw a cyst on my ovary. He said it may have been caused by the pregnancy. So, he has me stopping in some time today for bloodwork. Hopefully then I can snag a picture of the peanut (Kevin's new name for the baby probably because it's his favorite nightime snack.) I'm a little scared...but at least the baby is ok.

So dreams of hearing my child's heartbeat and seeing it's little form has now turned into a waiting game. I didn't realize when the ultrasound is at the hospital they can't tell you anything, only your dr. can. Kevin thinks he saw "something that looked like a head, body, and arms" but we now won't know anything for a few days.

We're off to see the wizard...the wonderful wizard of Ultrasounds. I'm all shaved up and ready to go to Glens Falls. We going to do little shopping too but the thing I look forward to the most is drininking 32 oz. of water and then holding it for over an hour and a half...I guess they call it a full bladder ultrasound...yah!

On a totally random note...I discovered again my new favorite cleaing tool (now that I am pregnant I sm somewhat banished from most cleaning chemicals). I love the Mr. Clean majic eraser for cleaning my tub. Kevin actually found a scotch brite brand a little cheaper and it worked pretty good. I just love it because it really gets that ring around the tub!

So, stay tuned for pictures and news...it's a 3:30 so postings will be a little later!