Friday, October 30, 2009

The Honest Scrap Award.


My girl Kalyn over at A Quiet Strength gave me the Honest Scrap Award! Thanks Kalyn for linking my blog on your sight and giving a few comments about it. Kalyn was one of my students and it has been so exciting to see where God has lead her since then. She is not afraid to use her amazing creativity and I know she has a deep love for God and for her husband.

:)Here are the rules for the award:

1. Must thank the person who gave you the award and list their blog and link it.
2. Share "10 Honest things" about yourself.
3. Present this award to 7 others whose blogs you find brilliant in content and/or design, or those who have encouraged you.
4. Tell those 7 people they've been awarded HONEST SCRAP and inform them of these guidelines in receiving the award.

My 10 Honest Things About Myself:

10. I am totally not a morning person. Even though I am not a night person, I wake up in the morning and don't want to talk to anyone. That has been more of a challange now that I have a 2 year old who wakes up taling.
9. I am a book worm. I usually have at least 2 books on my nightstand. I really enjoy juvenile fiction and children's books. I actually will read Junie B. Jones when I need a good laugh.
8. I never imagined I would be a pastor's wife.
7. I slack on my grooming...I am bad about not getting my eyebrows waxed and hair cut for months.
6. I tend to try a bunch of different creative hobbies from scrapbooking to watercoloring painting to crocheting.
5. I have a major sweet tooth.
4. I am a stuffer. It takes me awhile to work through how I feel and how to express it.
3. Being close (relationally) to my family is of major importance for me. My mom is one of my best friends.
2. I love decorating with my dad's woodworking, old rustic pieces, and dried roses.
1. I love capturing nature with my camera. I have fun taking pictures of Jack but he doesn't stay still long enough for me to get the pics I want.

Blogs That Have Encouraged Me and Are Brilliant in Design and/or Content:

1. Ordinary Days- This is my brother's honest reflections on life and the challanges of moving far from home!
2. Happiness is a Butterfly - My vintage loving friend is not afraid of transparency and expressing her deep love for her family and her amazing creativity.
3. Hope be Undismayed- My friend Sara is a wonderful wife and mother whose love for God and desire to grow is shown as she shares her heart.
4. The Riese's Pieces - Jen is not afraid to share both the fun and the comical adventures that are a part of her life!
5. A Moment Cherished - Tiffany moments are expressed through her amazing photography and her amazingly yummy healthy recipes...along with those precious kids!!
6. Finding My Way Through God's Plan - Kayli's honest reflections and open heart is such a blessing. She is a wonderful mother who is not afraid to talk honestly about her walk with God.
7. Lutz family- Amanda shares honestly the challanges of being a military family and constantly reminds me of the sacrafices not only our soldiers make, but the family makes.

There are many more I read...but these are some that have blessed me.

My Little Teaching Assignment

So, I have a little side job. I say little because it's only 2 hours once a week. I meet with 4 high school girls who are homeschooled and teach a writing class with them.

Sometimes it makes my Fridays super crazy because I still am commited to taking Jack to story time as well, but I walk away each time energized. It challanges me to be creative, especially as I have no specific curriculum to follow. It helps me to pass along my love for sharing stories. It connects me with high school kids I normally would never get to know. It gives me an outlet and something to work on besides homemaking.

I really have come to enjoy the girls I am teaching. I missed all my "kids" when I left CCA and this gives me a chance to build some new relationships with some great girls. It's cool to be able not only to encourage them with writing, but to challange them about life as well. I remember many a convo in my classroom at CCA and it was hard not to have that so it's cool to have the possibility of some of those life conversations that sort of bless and challange you.

It also helps they can put more than 4 words together in a sentence so I can have deeper conversations than, "yes, that is a pickle" or "please keep your pants on". I love being a mom and yet I am very thankful to in a unqiue way to still be able to be a teacher.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Confessions....

Potty Training:

I have started down the road a little ways...talking about it and having him watch elmo potty time. But, I confess to procrastinating. I like to blame it on my pregnancy and that he is only 2, but the truth is there are some other clear factors that are really keeping me from it.

1. I don't like messes. I can deal with cleaning up things but the thought of dealing with a lot more laundry, pee and poop stresses me out.

2. I like order and flexibility...I think about variables such as dealing with it a church, when we are traveling, and when other people are watching him (especially when baby sister's arrival is looming) and it stresses me out.

Seriously...I was going to set aside a week and I eneded up with major stress before we even tried it. I want it to be easy and quick and I'm terrified it is going to be a long, drawn out, stressful proceess. He has definitely shown signs of being ready (ie. taking off his diaper and talking about going pee or poopy) but I am really struggling.

Having a Girl:

I made myself go in the toy section and look down the girl isles...barbies, babies, and tons of pink. I am trying to prepare myself. I am excited and I know I am going to love her and she is going to be her own special person but seas of pink still scare me.

Labor:

It is getting nearer, I have been watching a baby story sometimes and remembering 36 hours of labor last time and I'm starting to freak out a little. I know I'll have the strength to get through it and I really want to try to go natural, but I am not looking forward to it.

We got back from the Dr./Ultrasound appt. and she has settled into head down position. She is also about 6 lbs. (jack was 6 lb. 1 oz. at birth). My fluid level is higher and I am definitely bigger than last time. She also has a head of hair and chubby cheeks. She is coming soon...

I should be...

I should be excited
I should be nesting
I should be down on the floor playing with my son
I should be organizing dinners
I should be praying more, reading my bible more, and serving more
I should be doing, going, cleaning, planning...

My inate instict is fighting against my capabilities and the tension is great!

I have been having more pressure and less energy and yet my mind will not shut off. I have been struggling to not have my physical strength when I have so many mental expectations of myself. I don't like this. I want to be excited and getting ready for our little girl's arrival. I know God and I have some talking to do...

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Family


I got a call from mom and she shared with me how she had been able to skype for the first time with Drew last night. I could tell in her voice how much it meant to her to see her son's face. It has been hard having Drew and Kat so far away and though we all know this is where the Lord has them right now...we miss them. Yet, technology has allowed them to stay connected.


I think that's the thing that has become so important to me...staying connected with my family. It is easy with mom because I talk with her most every day. However, since we've had Jack and now that Emma is on the way, I really try to keep him connected with family as well. I make sure to put the phone on speaker phone so he can hear their voice and talk with them. I make sure to show him pictures so he can recognize everyone. So even if they are far away, they still stay close to our heart...

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Feeling it...

I am definitely getting to the point where I am feeling the pregnancy more. I struggle with feeling achy and tired and she is a stretcher. She wants her own space. The hard thing is trying to take it easy.

The Dr. wants me to be careful lifting and I really have been trying to but laundry still has to be done and I really have wanted to get the kids room arranged. I did a lot today moving some things around and Kevin was not too excited about it. I know he is right and I really have tried to take it easy the rest of the day.

My mind just keeps running non-stop even though I am sitting and I keep seeing everything around me that I know needs to get done. I have had a few ladies offer to help if I needed anything but I don't know if I can come up with stuff to help them do. It's not that I can't keep up with things but I definitely just take longer doing things.

I know logically I need to enjoy being able to relax but my mind does not always agree. I can't turn it off. So, I am trying to find various outlets for my creative energy. It does help that I have been able to teach a writing class to some home school students once a week. I also need to lay out my scrapbooking and catch up on Jack's pictures and really work on it...so I know I won't be bored. I just need to relax somehow...

Saturday, October 17, 2009

confession

I have finally acknowledged something to myself...I am terrified of having a girl. Not the labor, the night feedings, or constant care. It's the thought of bringing up a female. I was never a big fan of girly girls growing up and know just like every other girl she is going to hit the snotty, drama filled stage and I don't know if I have the ability to deal with it. I can do nails and am not afraid to wear makeup but what if she ends up being obsessed with her looks or clothes? What am I getting myself into???

Friday, October 16, 2009

What's in a name

I always thought when it came to naming children, it would be simple...I have a few names I favored and you would just know...

I found out the first time around it was not as easy as I thought but I ended up being very happy with Jack's name and it's significance using family names.

Then we found out we were having a girl and I thought, "a girl, so much easier". Again, not so easy...especially when you have two people's opinions to consider. I really have struggled with feeling like I love the names we were talking about.

I have loved the name Emma for a long time and didn't realize until yesterday how much I had sold Kevin on it. Kevin has really wanted to use Amelia as a middle name in memory of his cousin that passed and a friend's wife that passed.

I really struggled with the two names together - Emma Amelia. I wanted the name to flow simply. We went back and forth on various options and other names but still have kept coming back to Emma and Amelia.

Then came the idea for compromise...using 2 middle names. So, I played around with a few names and both of us like: Emma Rose Amelia Radford. A little bit of a mouthful but I really like it. Yet, I still have this little fear in my heart putting it out there...she's going to be stuck with this name for life. We may change our minds as we get closer, but I think we are finally settling on a path...

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Fall

Fall is really my favorite season. The display of colors continously causes me to pause, in awe of the creativity and beauty of the creator. I love the color days and the crunch of leaves under my feet. To experience through the eyes of a child has allowed me to relish it more than ever before. It is the beauty deep within me that calls out for something more and captures my imagination...