I've gotten the question twice from my mom, "I read your blog post, are you alright?" I told her, "If I wasn't, I would not be blogging about it."

So why bring up such a depressing subject (yes, pun intended)? Because I truly believe there has not been enough of a voice for those who struggle with it, especially in Christian circles. I have met many who have diagnosis of OCD or Depression Issues who do not feel as if they can talk about it. I want to be a voice to help people feel like they can.

I was diagnosed with Cyclothymia when I was 19 years old. Basically it is a mild form of bi-polar that caused me to go, go, go and then crash. I have had medicine to regulate it since then and have learned to deal with the down times. It was not always easy and I questioned God a lot. I felt like I wasn't a good Christian and that I should just have faith to get over it.

What I have is a chemical imbalance. It is a medical issue. There is a chemical missing in between the neurons in my brain. God chose to make me this way. At times it seemed like a thorn in my flesh but I have learned to accept it and want to now be a voice for those who struggle.

I am afraid we tend to look at people with these type of labels as crazy and are afraid they are going to go out of control and any time. Yes, it is important that they have counseling and be monitored by their doctor, but with help and medication they can learn to function better than just ok.

I have learned my limits, when I need to say no, when I need to take it easy, and when I need to open up. Does that mean I will never have any problems? No. It just means God has helped me accept how He made me and has brought along great people in my life who understand me, and medicine that keeps me balanced.

To be honest, I was inspired by a group of articles a guy I know from college published about mental illness and was challenged to be open about my struggle. I realize that it is a risk, that people may misjudge me or misunderstand. But, I believe God has given me this challenge in my life to help others who struggle.

I often feel like there are so many things I know a little bit about but now much I really know enough about to pontificate in a deeply knowledgable way about on my blog.  But, there is one thing I know quite a bit about.  I would actually say that I have a vast amount of experience in it.  Unfortunately this topic is not only taboo but mostly swept under the carpet or hidden behind closed doors.  In some circles it may even be looked upon as unspiritual.  But, it's something a lot of people will struggle with in some way or another.  Yet, there often is no voice for it.  It's a silent and dark battle called depression.

I am not a certified counselor or therapist.  I am not going to get into all of the clinical issues.  I am only going to talk about my experiences because I feel like there are many out there who struggle and have no one to be a voice for what it feels like.  I want to open the door to conversation and allow people the freedom to begin to openly talk about it.

Obviously there are varying degrees of depression and there are times to seek professional help.  There are also people who are more prone to it than others.  However, sometimes you just hit a funk, a dark place, a down time, whatever you want to label it.  In those times it is hard to give voice to what we are feeling because it isn't talked about.  Maybe there is a fear that people will think we are unspiritual or even loony.  But, then you read the Psalms and you see David, a man after God's own heart, giving a voice to what goes on inside our hearts when we feel this way.  Maybe we're not so unspiritual after all.