girls: (shocked) "we aren't on that list!"
dad: (laughing)
mom: "cut it out"
dad: "it was fun"
girls: (holding tighter to mom) "dad's not funny"

i love this time of year. i love watching families, and i love the traditions we get to continue and start. we are constantly looking at jack in awe that he is here, and we get a chance to instill the things we love in him...merry christmas!
-ash

we had such a nice morning. it was spent making sure the pies were ready for dessert, the house was clean, the wood pile stocked up and raking the leaves. it feels so good getting things done and being productive. paul and i have so much to be thankful for. as we both looked at jack while he played in the leaves, we stood in awe that this life of ours is real and very much ours. it's hard to describe or put into words, but we just love this little boy and all he adds to us. he is our joy in every way and gives us so much to look forward too. plus, we get to see the world through new eyes and have a new love and appreciation for things we haven't noticed in a while. i am thankful for jack and paul everyday!
-ash

he is everywhere...literally everywhere, and i am loving every minute of it. the way he discovers movement and textures makes me giddy. i can't get over how much i love him. he is such a happy baby.
-ash

our jack is 8 months! this photo tells it all. he is so full of laughter and his face lights up when he smiles. in fact, paul and i completely light up with him around.  we count our blessings everyday and give thanks to heavenly father that we are his parents. this is what life is about and it doesn't get much better than this!
-he has two teeth. he likes to bite on my shoulder and pull up on my shirt with his teeth. also, he has bitten a few times while he eats and my heavens...PAINFUL!
-he likes to stand while holding himself up on the couch/chair/my leg/anything
-he loves it when paul walks into the room
-he isn't the greatest sharer...if i am playing with his car, he wants it...then i play with something else and he wants it too. pretty soon, his pile of toys is much larger to the single toy left in my hand that soon becomes his!
-he loves, loves, loves being outside
-when i sing to him or we listen to the radio, he jams out
-he sleeps through the night
-he is doing much better in his car seat, but still has his limits
-he never blinks when he is staring
-loves the water
-still eats anything and everything we are eating
-he likes to be included in what we are doing. from folding laundry to trimming trees to picking peaches. he loves to be where we are

-ash

during the farmer's market in the riverwoods, they started advertising for chalk the block. we thought it would be fun to come and see what it was about. i thought it was just us "normal folk" buying chalk and showing off some of our artistic abilities. we took a nice walk down and were shocked at the talent there. there were genuine artists and beautiful works of art there to see. it was so fun to walk around, take some photos of ones we really liked and then to see so many people out enjoying themselves. jack loved spending a little time in the water and wasn't happy when it was time to go. it was a great afternoon and we are looking forward to next year.
-ash

it was a year ago today...
paul and i were at target when mom called. she was hysterical and phoebe was screaming in the background. all i heard was, conrad almost drowned/emergency room/please come now. the earth stood still. i burst into tears, somehow i told paul what had happened and we left to the er. the drive down was long and my head was picturing all those things i didn't want to. man how we prayed! the rest was a blur...i remember seeing conrad hooked up to tubes laying on ransoms lap, katie holding his hand listening to the doctor, praying big time in my heart, phoebe screaming beyond screaming, feeling numb, praying more, and wanting and willing to do anything to help.
it was a horrible life shaking moment that has deeply increased my faith. i am so grateful that my heavenly father let us keep conrad with us, i am so grateful that ransom and katie were given incredible strength from angels to help them and make them stronger. our prayers were answered and i (more than often, and when i see conrad), say a prayer of gratitude for him.
conrad was my therapy for so many years and i love him as if he was my own. he is such a joy to be with and has so much to offer. he is an incredible boy. i love him...
-ash

we got to dad & mom's and the fun began. they had a bag of cheetos, and i knew jack would love them! a little too late did i realize i should have put his bib on, or taken his shirt off. he had so much fun with the cheeto. the best part...they dissolve quickly. my favorite moments are watching him discover something new. by the end of it, he was an orange and sticky mess!
-ash

simply stated by clint eastwood

we planned months ago to pick a weekend up at bear lake. before we knew it, it was time to pack. it is so different getting packed with a baby. before, i was able to pack to my hearts content and i would be done in an hour or so, and now...well, lets just say, it takes hours longer. it was a lot of fun to get ready, and to see a small pile of babyish things was the best. i was so excited to to take jack. i was a little nervous to go in the car with him for 3 hours, but miraculously, he slept the entire way. it was a great weekend and we look forward to planning a new one.
-jack waking up the second we pull into our campsite
-raspberry shakes each and every night
-pulling into the pizzaria 3 minutes after closing. i went inside to ask where a good place to eat would be...the woman laughed in my face and said "good luck, most places close at 9" and walked away leaving me there with my mouth open in shock
-setting our tent up in the "perfect spot"
-sprinklers at 2am hitting our tent every 5 seconds. paul finally got up and changed the direction of them to hit the restroom.
-dogs, dogs, dogs! (none of them were mute)
-jack did.not.sleep.well
-we walked up and down the beach to find the perfect beach for the kids. we woke up early on friday and set up our stuff to reserve. the day was perfect except for the wind. saturday morning, we did the same thing, and because there were more people there, some people set up their stuff literally right next to our canopy...right.next.to.it
-skipping rocks contest with money rocks
-chocolate covered raspberries
-paul rolled his ankle the night before we picked up the rented boat
-paul's ankle was a lot better so he was able to wakeboard and he had a blast
-the boat we rented said it was a 7 man, but if there were more than 3 people on it, he would be extremely bogged down
-paul had a nice sunburn on his forehead (red, white, red)
-the best tinfoil dinners each night with no dishes and cereal in the morning
-kelsie had a cold the whole time
-one of our neighbors was an extremely impatient dad
-saw a skunk. that night i had to go bathroom so bad, but i refused to be sprayed so i stayed in the tent
-jack LOVED the water
-so nice to get away
-conrad sang 'forever in blue jeans' by neil diamond
-phoebe would wake up every morning screaming (they don't know why). ransom would run her to the car so she didn't disrupt the neighbors
-saw our friends toby and trish there
-kelsie asked mom if she ever got tired because she (kelsie) got tired just listening to her
-paul rolled is ankle again (the same one) as he tripped down a little hill while holding and protecting jack
-no tv or email...so nice
-while i was being pulled on the tube, i remembered how young and wild i used to be. now i prayed to have dad stay straight and go slow. he went a little faster, and now my body feels like it had the time of it's life
-we have now unpacked and are ready for bed

-ash

when i got home from work and a sign saying 'wards lane' was there. our good friend mark was doing some work up north and the city was doing some road construction and this sign was in the "throw away" pile. he was nice enough to think of us and he knew we would love it. right away, we were trying to decide what to paint on it. i looked over and over for a design of oakleaves, but nothing looked like us.
we had some time to find a design because we needed to take the old address off (which was a lot harder to do than i thought), and take off the other side that had the city emblem on it. that part was such a pain, so  i ended up painting over it. then one night it hit me...paint a flag on it. it took me a while to get the measurements on it and to make sure the lines would be straight. once that was done, the painting went a lot faster and it was done.
it felt so good to get a project done and out of the house. i love pulling into our driveway with our sign. thank you mark!
-ash

jack is wanting anything and everything that we have in our hands. i love the look of concentration and determination as he tries to wrap his fingers around the object and then finally excitement when he has won! i must admit that we love watching him as he discovers textures and tastes.
when paul got out his cabela's magazine, jack looked it as though he was ready to devour it! paul took him, and handed him the pages he was finished with. jack let the magazine have it...when he was finished, paul couldn't find the section with the guns & ammo. you guessed it...jack got to it first and when he was finished it was unreadable!
-ash

this time of year seems to come around a lot quicker than any other. i can tell it's time when paul looks at the wood pile, is found wandering about it, i get onto the computer, and there are images and prices of log splitters (he dreams of owning one, but will just ace rent it for now ☺). before i know it, he is out reorganizing and getting ready to add to it. this year, dad came and helped, and we even had a visit from paul's mom. we were able to get a lot done in an afternoon. it's true what they say...many hands make light work!
-ash

i was able to watch the kids for ransom and katie while they both recovered from food poisoning. i picked them up in the morning and we spent the 24th playing, baking and then headed to the bbq at g. birrell's. halfway through the day, i looked in the back of the truck and saw 1 booster seat, 1 carseat and 1 toddler seat! what a sight, and such an awakening...
-ash

6 months already? half way to a year old? how is that possible? it seems like only yesterday he was born. we literally can't get enough of him and we can't soak up this time enough. he is our light and our life.
-loves to scream and then he smiles at us to see if we were paying attention
-loves food...all food and is not a fan of sharing
-when he gets mad, he makes one loud scream, while his toes curl together
-16 lbs and almost 25.5 inches long
- gets bored with toys
-giggles easily
-grasps his hands at the air
-enjoys tummy time now that he knows how to scootch here and there
-keeps us laughing
-plays with measuring spoons and whisks
-fights sleep like the plague
-when he hears paul's voice, he will not rest until he sees his face
-wakes us up each morning with really funny noises

-ash

jack is now 5 months... and still up to his schinanigans. i can't tell you how much we love and want to squish him. we are always laughing and are constantly soaking up all he does. he is our joy!
-he smiles all the time
-squeeks and squawks all the time
-loves to eat anything and everything we have
-doesn't like to sit still
-grabs at everything
-is pretty good at drinking out of a cup
-loves chips, whipping cream, fruit, potatoes, icecream, etc
-rollin, rollin, rollin
-fast hands

 -ash

jack is at the stage where he reaches for anything and everything. he is fascinated with what paul and i eat and drink and he loves to have tastes, which we love to give him. he especially loves to drink and chew on the lip of the cup. yes...he does get some in his mouth, yes...most runs down his chest...yes...if we take the cup away or reposition it, he gets mad/cries. this video shows it all...
-ash

it has been so hot the past few days, that we thought it would be fun to have a car washing party...it was a great idea...the kids could play in the water, and we would have an excuse to get cool. conrad and carter took turns with the water, while little phoebe made sure jack was taken care of. she couldn't just check on him while standing next to him, she had to get onto his bouncer, and then talk to him. it was the cutest thing. no wonder his eyes widen so much when she comes near him! i can't believe we are growing up and having our own kids. what the heck and when did that happen?
it was a great couple of hours to spend with each other, plus we got our cars clean!
-ash

i love the look on phoebe's face...

 tonight was our humanitarian night with relief society. we had so many stations and charities that were needing our help (soft toys, pillow cases, quilts, sanitation bags, birthday bags, and cards). i was helping with the card section and was able to meet a new mom in our ward. i was asking about her family and she has a 5 year old and a 3 year old jack. all the sudden it hit me...for the first time, i was able to say "i have a jack!" after i said that, i just giggled. i have always wondered what it would feel like to say that. i was quiet for a few minutes as i remembered how lucky i am to have my baby boy, to have my jack.
i came across these pictures i took a few weeks ago. i start laughing when i look at these...we have the best time in the mornings. we literally eat each other up and get nothing done. i love it...more than i ever thought i would!
-ash

i cannot believe my baby boy is now 4 months! where does time go? he really is the light of our lives. i love how he lights up when paul comes home, i love how he looks at me like i am the best thing, i love how he plays with his hands, i love how he tries to get what is in my hands into his hands and mouth (he is super fast). we love him more than we thought possible and still find ourselves staring at him realizing he is ours.

-he has found his voice. he squeaks and squawks all.the.time. (makes sitting through anything impossible)
-loves to chew on everything
-he laughs all the time
-his face lights up when he smiles
-will not take a pacifier or a bottle...no, not even with breast milk in the bottle
-he has tough little legs and loves to stand
-looks at everything intensely
-sleeps now from 10-3ish and then from 3:30ish to 6ish
-he loves the water
-rolls onto his side
-skootches himself 90 degrees
-loves rice cereal with carrots and pears
-grip of steel
-enjoys LOVES being outside
-still has a great appetite
-loves to touch our faces

-ash

i was talking to someone in our neighborhood about a little bouncing chair for the doorway. i didn't think a thing of it, and when i got home from running errands, it was there! i was so excited. there wasn't a note or anything, so i said a prayer of gratitude. i put it together, hung it in the doorway, and put jack into it. like anything else, he loved it for a while and then he was ready to get out.
he loved being able to put his feet on the ground. he just lowered his head and watched his feet move. we would put on music on and jam out! he really does have the sweetest little face!
-ash

when we moved from mapleton to orem in 2006, i knew we brought my wedding dress. i remember seeing it, i remember putting it in my closet. later that year, i was looking for it and couldn't find it anywhere. my mind was completely blank. i prayed and prayed for any inspiration on where it could be. i was devistated. my mom did the bead work on the waist, and it was my wedding dress. for 5 years i prayed and prayed and nothing. doing all of these things... (some of them 3-4 times)
-calling my aunt to get the phone number to the home we used to live in mapleton
-calling the home owner in mapleton begging her to find it
-calling every dry cleaner in orem, knowing full well i would never have left it there
-calling a bunch of neighbors to see if they borrowed it years ago for a relief society thing
-drilling paul over and over
-scowering dad & mom's house
-turning my own home upside-down
finally at the end of last year, i prayed to heavenly father and told him i left it in his hands, and that i hoped someone was enjoying it.
paul's sister is going on a mission. she came down to take a couple of our suitcases. i was in the kitchen talking to her as he pulled them from the basement. as he walked past, i told him i hoped he would find a million dollars and giggled. as we were talking, paul said my name. i looked at heidi and said "looks like he found a million dollars!" i headed down the hall. paul was standing in the middle of the hallway holding my wedding dress!!! i burst into tears. as i snotty bawled in the hallway clutching my dress, i rattled off to heidi all those things i did mentioned above in a very incoherent way. thinking about it now, i feel bad that she had to witness that. i took a picture right away and then knelt in prayer in my room. my heart is so full at the love my heavenly father has for me. i know it is just a wedding dress, but i love it. i called my mom right away and sent a text to all my sisters. katie sent this..."Look the blessings of a missionary are already paying off!". i thanked heidi over and over for going on a mission. paul and i talked about last night and can't remember for the life of us why it was in that bag, and why we never looked there, even though i swear i looked under every "rock".
this experience is such a testimony builder to me on the love of my heavenly father, faith and prayer. i know i had to get to the point of leaving it in his hands, and trusting him and knowing that it would all work out.
-ash

jack hates his carseat. i mean HATES it. sometimes he does okay, but other times like today...screamed all the way home from pebbles. i so wish he could understand me when i tell him we are almost home. usually when i say that, he screams more. he will usually cry and cry until he tires himself right out. as soon as i pulled up our street he stopped crying. i thought "finally, he cried himself to sleep". as i went to get his car seat, he was there waiting for me. wide-eyed and happy. i giggled and had to snap a photo. he had better get better in his seat because we want to take a little road trip, and right now, any trip over 45 minutes is out!
-ash

jack and i went on our first hike with all my sisters, ransom, conrad and phoebe. it was so nice to be outdoors looking at all the beautiful trees with new life on them. boy are we so lucky with this beautiful world? no longer do i pack me a snack and water, but i also now grab diapers, wipes, a burb cloth, extra blanket, binky, his jacket, extra pair of clothes (for his blow-outs), and his baby carrier. i was the only one there with a pack-pack (abby used to say that instead of back pack and it has stuck with us) for a little hike. i know that if i didn't bring those items, i would have needed them. better to be safe than sorry i know.
the trail was beautiful and there were so many places with water that conrad, phoebe and ransom could play in them. conrad ended up catching me a fish (an invisible one) that i had to eat right then and there so i could continue on. i so wanted to know what jack was thinking as his eyes looked all over. watching him helped me appreciate the leaves on the trees, the sound of the stream and the wind much more than before. i am so grateful that i will teach him to enjoy nature and to be out in it as much as possible. some of my favorite moments were...
.watching phoebe jump
.being invited to bigelow island by ransom, even though i didn't have my passport on me
.watching jack's eyes
.ransom tried to bring this huge log over to us so he could cross the river. when he sat it down, it broke. he looked truly sad
.phoebe would stop in the middle of the trail and ask to hold jack right there
.watching conrad and kelsie running in the park
.being with my best friends
.ransom taking the bark off a huge tree and throwing it in the river
 -ash

i am now 31 years old. i never thought in a million years that i would be 31. i remember being little and looking at my uncles and aunts and thinking "wow...old", but now i am there. i am not one who panics about getting older, i just panic that time is passing so fast and i can't press the slow button. so i just try my hardest to enjoy each moment. doesn't matter if it is happy or sad...just enjoy! i made a list of 31 things about me. some are good and some are bad, but it's me and by darn, i am working on the bad.
-ash

1-i love being active
2-i am a wife
3-i sleep like a rock
4-i love ice cream, milk and cereal
5-i don't travel well (i don't like be confined to a car, plane, train etc)
6-i love grocery shopping
7-i don't have fashion sense
8-my love language is time
9-i pick my lip when i am nervous
10-dandelions give me anxiety
11-i love watching sports
12-i have a nasty sweet tooth
13-i love yard work
14-i am a mother
15-i hate my eyebrows
16-i have red hair
17-i am a picky eater
18-i have different laughs
19-i fall asleep with my toes locked together
20-i am a morning and night person
21-i withdraw quickly
22-i am a sister
23-i have a fear of sharks and piranha's
24-i love jeans and t-shirts
25-i love cars/trucks
26-i am a daughter
27-i have cooking shows with accents at home
28-i have a strong testimony of the gospel because of life
29-i love the outdoors
30-i am extremely hard on myself
31-favorite movie is the long pride and prejudice

 i can't believe my sweet baby boy is 3 months...he gets more adorable and hilarious each day. paul and i are amazed at his growth and his beautiful eyes. he is such a good baby. he smiles with his whole face and his eyes light up. he brings such joy to us and our home. we say a prayer of thankfulness for him each and every day.
-still hates his car seat
-loves being naked
-found his fist and sucks with gusto
-smiles all the time
-loves being outside
-rolls onto his side
-farts a lot
-loves having his diaper changed
-grabs my hair and pulls
-very alert and attentive
-helps me bake
-loves bath time
-very good eater
-his legs run marathons
-loves going on walks
-prefers to face outward
-he looks in the mirror and smiles at what he sees

he is just perfect!
-ash