Always a Penny Short...

Yes everyone! I will be going to visit my family in Texas from Friday the 11th till Tuesday the 15th! I am so excited!

It was actually a great surprise. I had planned to go home while we were in Memphis because it wasnt very far and would have been pretty easy to go. Since we found out we were moving to Minneapolis I kinda gave up the idea of going since the plane ride would be twice as long and more expensive. I was really sad about it and so Jonny has secretly saved all the tip money he has made at his installs for the past 2-3 weeks to help pay for half my plane ticket! I love him so much! He has always been so thoughtful and knew how much I wanted to go home for a few days this summer. Mom and Dad are helping out with the rest!

I cant wait to see everyone there in less than 2 weeks!

I have been asked by many of my loyal minions about how I feel about having a girl. For some odd reason, people value my opinion. This will come in handy on my quest for world domination. Anyways, I have decided to tell you guys how I feel about this. And here it is:













And there you have it folks. I don't think Shakespeare could have put it more adequately.

If it was a boy I would be calm. Boys I got figured out. Just teach them how to throw a ball, teach them how to throw a punch, and they can pretty much raise themselves.

But GIRLS?!

Girls don't even understand girls! Have you ever seen an article on the cover page of a magazine that says, "Find how what SHE's really thinking!"

No.

You haven't.

What exactly am I going to do with a girl? I don't have anything to teach a girl. What the heck do girls do anyway?

Also, and this is for the benefit of the guys out there, I had the doctor do a very thorough examination of Cassie's plumbing right after the ultrasound.

We were right.

Women don't come with a manual.

Honestly, I'm just at a loss. I can barely handle the woman I've got and now they're double teaming me.

It's a conspiracy, I tell ya.

Maybe... Maybe I can learn from this one. Maybe since I've been given a starter kit, I'll get some inside view into the mind of a woman, something that might help me understand them.

Or maybe I'll end up in a mental ward holding a Barbie doll and crying uncontrollably.

No, I'm over-reacting. Everything is going to be okay.

Right?

Right?

...

...I'm buying a bigger gun.

The weather here in Minneapolis is so great, especially compared to Memphis. Memphis is a lot like Houston, but a little less humid. Minneapolis, I think, often compares to LA weather, at least so far. Its just been beautiful lately.

As often happens when we are out in nature the 12 year old side of my husband emerged. He wanted very much to pull the hanging branch out of that tree.

I love it and I've learned to always have my camera ready!

The trail didnt go too far until we were back on the other side of our complex and our little nature walk was over.

Our place in Memphis had a ton of speed bumps in the parking lot. In fact we joked that in order to calm our little girl someday we will probably have to put her in the car and drive over a bunch of speed bumps cause that is what she is used to. This place in Minneapolis is no different, however while we were on our walk we noticed the signs...

Memphis didnt have these fun signs!

Before we left we wanted to make sure we at least saw and got a picture of the Memphis temple.


















Too bad we had to leave a lot sooner than expected.

Jonny and I have decided we must be destined to wander in the wilderness for 40 years...maybe less, but it feels like that right now. Why you ask? Sunday we will be in home #6 in Minneapolis, Minnesota!

Yeah apparently people in Memphis dont believe in paying their bills and there are not enough neighborhoods that house people that actually have decent credit scores, theres only like a 14% - 20% passing rate. (Passing is like 650 or something) It makes sales and installing home security systems rather difficult and not as productive as we hoped. Well let me rephrase...it has been decently productive, but will no longer be in the next week or two. I gotta hand it to the people of Memphis, they are some of the nicest I have ever met but really, PAY YOUR BILLS PEOPLE!!!

And so we pack up and move yet again. Good bye Memphis...Minneapolis here we come. Those people have a 85%+ passing rate. Much, much better!

Fortunately Jonny and I have discussed it and we think I will still be able to go home for a few days at the end of June or mid July.

Have you ever had one of those moments when something profound just strikes you and you spend the day thinking of nothing else? You're sitting there, minding your own business, thinking of ways to bug your wife, when all of a sudden an idea just jumps up and punches you in the brain.

Guy: Okay, just have to finish this paragraph. Then I'll fax it over to...

*POW*

Guy: Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?

Then you spend the rest of the day wishing you had a power drill to get the idea out of your brain.

Is a happy employee considered gruntled?

Why is the fear of long words called Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?

Do hot cakes sell particularly fast?

If a group of geese is a flock, what is a group of turtles called? (It's a "bale" by the way. Yeah that's right, I looked it up.)

All it takes is one mind boggle of a question and your entire day is lost.

I was working (on ways to bug my wife) this morning and not really thinking.

I try not to start stuff with my brain. He just does his thing and I leave him alone. We're cool like that.

Besides it really doesn't require a great deal of thought to bug your wife when she is pregnant. It's like "leave cap off toothpaste" and she's bugged. Or, tell her "Pride and Prejudice" is the worst book/movie ever made. That one works really well. Chew in her ear, change the channel a lot... See? Not too hard.

So, I didn't bring this on myself.

Then, all of a sudden, a thought occurred to me. Actually, that's putting it mildly. An idea walked up and used a tazer on my brain.

Jonny: Why is the word 'Dictionary' in the Dictionary?

And there we have it. My whole day gone.

Jonny: How would you know to look it up?
Other Guy: That's a good point.
Jonny: You wouldn't know what 'Dictionary' meant.
Other Guy: Please pull up to the second window, sir.
Jonny: You wouldn't even know what the book was.
Other Guy: Please drive away sir.


And now I'm blogging about it.

I think this is what a brain tumor feels like.

Seriously. Why would it be in there? If you're looking up the meaning in a dictionary, then you KNOW WHAT A DICTIONARY IS!

Suppose you were in a bookstore and saw a dictionary. You suddenly wonder what a dictionary is. But you can't find a book full of words and their meanings. You wouldn't think to look in the dictionary for the meaning of the word because you don't know that a dictionary is a book full of word meanings. Even if you bothered to pick the book up and try to figure it out, by the time you found the page with dictionary on it, you'd have figured out the whole darn thing. It's entirely pointless. And yet, it's in there.

Why?

WHY?!

My head hurts. I'm just going to go to bed before I ask myself another stupid question like why there aren't any synonyms for 'Thesaurus'.

...

Aww dang.