Should Children Know the Why to Everything?

May 30, 2021 / Dynamo

My answer to a question asked on Quora – Should Children Know the Why to Everything in Life?

So, should children know the “why” to everything in life?Well, maybe “everything” is pushing it, but as a general rule and as a principle, I believe it is a very good idea for children to know the “why” for things.

Stories abound of people carrying on traditions about which origin they know nothing, simply because they wouldn’t ask a simple question. Why are we doing this?

There’s a quote I must have heard somewhere (I tried to find it again but I couldn’t). It goes something like:

“A man driven off by cane will come back. A man driven off by reason will not come back.”

I’m of the opinion that, when you tell people the reason for doing something, they are able to understand the reasoning behind why they are doing what they are doing and can own that thing and think of even better ways of doing it.

If all they had to go on was, “because we have to do it”, they’re not very likely to put their best in it.

You must have heard the story of a general who took over at an army barrack. He noticed there were always two men guarding a particular piece of concrete. When he asked why, nobody knew the reason.

After tracing it back to many generals before him, they discovered that a certain general had posted men there because, when it was newly done, some animals were coming to walk on it. So he posted men there to guard it for just a few days until the thing dried up.

But he was soon transferred. And the general that came after him simply continued the tradition.

So, how does this apply to children knowing the “why” to everything? Most of the inventions and innovations we see in our world today are made by people who questioned how things have always been done. They questioned, “what if there is a better, more efficient way of doing this?”. And the result is advancement of the human populace as a whole.

When a child knows the reason for doing something, he/she can then decide if it is something they want to continue doing, or if it is something that should be stopped or improved.

And I believe this is the best way to raise a child. Raise them to be able to think for themselves. To be able to make their own decisions based on given data.

I JUST MADE SOMEONE HAPPY. AND IT MADE MY DAY!

January 22, 2021 / Dynamo

For want of a better topic, take this one as is.

<p value="<amp-fit-text layout="fixed-height" min-font-size="6" max-font-size="72" height="80">There’s a neighbor who lives two streets away. She had issues with the burner of her gas cooker since a couple of days ago. I went there to help her check it yesterday, but I wasn’t able to fix it. She told me she has had to be drinking garri the past couple of days since she couldn’t cook.There’s a neighbor who lives two streets away. She had issues with the burner of her gas cooker since a couple of days ago. I went there to help her check it yesterday, but I wasn’t able to fix it. She told me she has had to be drinking garri the past couple of days since she couldn’t cook.

She calls me today, a few minutes ago, to please bring her our burner so she can use it to cook right now. Naturally, this annoyed me a little, as she was interrupting my perfectly fine day of sitting down and just thinking.

So I went to remove the burner and discovered that our gas was leaking without the burner on it. I’m the kind of person who never accepts the default (there’s always something that can be done about the situation) so of course, I got an idea of how to fix the situation immediately – go to her house first, take her burner, and come back to replace it on my gas cooker. Then take my burner to her. Voila! Problem solved.

But taking my burner to her was something I didn’t even want to do in the first place, and now, go on two errands instead of one? So I called her and told her the problem – gas is leaking. Will waste gas if I remove burner.

End of story!

Except, it was not.

My spirit (heart, conscience) wouldn’t let me be. I take pride in my ability to always be able to find a way around any situation, and I already found a way around this. So why ignore it? Just do what I know is right and help the woman!

So, grudgingly, I went to the woman’s house and told her the solution I thought of.

I removed her burner, brought it home, and proceeded to do the exchange.

But wait, I’m a fixer. I fix things. Can I not really fix this burner? So I tinker with it some, and of course, I discovered what the problem was and proceeded to fix it. And added a little stroke of genius while at it.

So I went back to her and show her the fixed burner, with my stroke of genius as an icing on the cake.

I replaced the burner, lighted the gas cooker, and now she can cook some real food!

The look on the woman’s face was pure happiness! I just gave her a gift. She was very excited.

And that was what made me really happy. Knowing that I was the source of this woman’s happiness right at that moment. I cannot remember the last time I was that happy. The kind of happiness that comes from knowing you’re the reason someone else is happy.

And that is the gist of my story.

So what’s the lesson? I don’t know. Maybe I just wanted to brag to you how I just made someone happy. Or maybe I wrote this to brag about my genius in being able to fix a burner.

What’s the lesson? You tell me!

The Most Important Ingredient Of Great Leadership

August 20, 2020 / Dynamo

The most important ingredient that will help you become a great leader is not what you know. I wish it were, but it is not. It is not even what you can do. Leadership would be much easier if the most important ingredient for it were any of these two. But sadly, it is not.

Now, is that to say that these two ingredients are not important? You bet not! After all, if you were to cook, say fried rice, you can hardly achieve that by making rice your only ingredient.

But while rice cannot be your only ingredient, it sure is the most important one. Well, unless your goal is to cook fried not-rice, then you can remove rice from your list of ingredients.

So, while what you know and what you can do are both very important supporting ingredients for great leadership, the main ingredient is who you are. There! You have it. You can stop reading now. You got the gist of this article.

Now, with the I’m-in-a-hurry, smart-alec out of the way, let’s get down to business, shall we?

As we said, the most important ingredient, the main ingredient, that will make you a great leader, is who YOU are.

The next logical question will then be – who do you need to become? Sorry, but there isn’t exactly a one-size-fits-all answer to that. What you need to do is to have some elements in place. Mix that in with your temperament or personality, and you are on your way to becoming a great leader.

Now you way, “well, tell me what those elements are!”. Patience pal, patience. Here ya go:

Self-Discipline aka Self-Control

Life is hard! You can either believe that statement and accept it, or you can disagree with it and accept. Either way, the truth is the truth, regardless of who is speaking it.

Merriam-Webster dictionary defined self-control as restraint exercised over one’s own impulses, emotions or desires.

See those words? Impulses, emotions, desires.

Remember we agreed that life is hard? Well, these guys are part of what makes it so.

Naturally, your emotions want to have fun. Lots of fun. It is self-discipline that will help you to put a check (restraint) to them.

Life is hard. Choosing to remain silent when you are filled with the hot emotion of anger and your impulse is to lash out and speak the words dancing on the tip of your tongue is hard. Choosing to stay and read that book, when your desire is to go out and have fun is hard. Choosing to stay committed to something you don’t like to do anymore, but have to do because you gave your word, is hard. Choosing to be disciplined over being impulsive is hard.

But you know the beautiful thing about self-discipline? It’s that when you begin, it is hard. But as you go, you become stronger, so that the things you have to do, while they don’t become easier, now feel easier for you because you have become stronger.

Integrity

Integrity means oneness. Being one in every situation. It means your values do not change based on the person you are dealing with. If you told a beggar that, based on your values, your answer to a certain situation is “no”, then your answer would still be “no” if you were dealing with a king.

Does this mean you should treat everyone equally? Well, not exactly. But it does mean there are certain principles that should not change for anybody.

For example, you should treat a beggar with respect. So should you treat a king with respect. But should you treat a king and a beggar with the same type of respect? You decide that for yourself.

The common denominator here, the principle that should not change, is respect.

Integrity is not limited to how you treat people. It spills out to things and situations. Obviously, you should never steal in a supermarket in daylight, because people can see you and you will get in trouble. But you should never steal at night when not a single soul will know what you did either. You should not steal 2 dollars from a poor beggar, because he will miss it dearly. You should not steal a hundred thousand dollars from the company either, even though no one will notice or miss it. The principle is that you should never steal, whether it is justified or not. Whether someone will see you or not.

Accountability

Human nature cannot handle unchecked power. Abraham Lincoln said, “Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power”.

A leader that is accountable to no one will soon lose his position and his power. If he wants to keep the power at all costs, he may need to resort to force, but he would have lost the people’s heart.

When a person becomes so powerful that no one or nothing can check them, watch out! Disaster is in the making. Just ask David as it concerns Uriah.

It has been said that “absolute power corrupts absolutely”. If you are going to be a great leader who doesn’t lose his position, you need someone higher up than you to be accountable to. Someone who will be able to tell you you’re acting foolishly when you are acting foolishly. And you also need to be accountable to those whom you lead.

Remember, absolute (unrestrained, unquestionable) power corrupts absolutely.

Responsibility

The higher up you climb as a leader, the less personal rights you should have and the more responsibilities you should have.

Like the sign on President Harry S. Truman’s desk in the Oval Office, “The buck stops here”. Great leaders understand that you are no longer allowed to pass the buck.

In his book, Developing the Leader Within You, John Maxwell said repeatedly, “everything rises and falls on leadership”. If the organization is shitty, it is because the leader is shitty. Sure, Mr. Tom and Mr. Dick may have left their job undone and were talking instead of working. Sure, Mr. Harry may have crippled production when he mixed the wrong chemicals and Mrs. Humpty Dumpty may have been sending customers away with her bad attitude, but all these things may be traced back to bad leadership. Everything rises and falls on leadership.

The most important ingredient of great leadership is not what you know or what you can do. Both are important, but not the most important. The most important element of great leadership is WHO YOU ARE.

We See Things, Not As They Are, But As We Are

August 10, 2020August 8, 2020 / Dynamo

A couple of years ago, an experiment was conducted at an high school.

The Principal called three teachers to his office and told them, “Because you are the best three teachers, we’re going to put ninety of the top performing students in your charge for one year. These kids are all high-IQ students, and we’re putting you in charge of them because you’re the ones we trust to be able to handle them effectively.”

The three teachers were super-excited! High-IQ students? That means they will have an easier and more enjoyable time teaching these kids.

And that they did!

For the next year, it was a delightful journey for both the teachers and students. Teaching these brilliant students was awesome! Learning from these amazing teachers was amazing!

At the end of the one year, these students had performed 20-30% better than their counterparts in the vicinity.

The principal once again called the teachers into his office and asked about the students’ performance.

“It was fantastic!” said the happy teachers. “These students really are the best students.”

“Well, I have a confession to make,” said the principal. “You see, there was nothing special about the students. They were regular students, who were picked at random.”

“Then we must be really good teachers.” They said.

“I have another confession,” the principal told them again. “Your names were the first three drawn out from a hat.”

“Then what made the difference?” wondered the teachers.

The difference, of course, was the expectations of both teachers and students.

The story is told of a man who, one day, could not find his favorite wrench in his shed.

Because Josh, the neighbors’ son, was a known delinquent, the old man suspected him of being the one who took the wrench.

For the next several days, every of Josh’s actions became suspicious to the old man. The way he talked, the way he walked, his body language, everything.

After one week, the old man finally decide that he would confront Josh in the evening. And in the afternoon, he found the missing wrench behind a stack of boxes.

Of course, Josh’s actions immediately stopped being suspicious. They suddenly looked very normal.

We see things, not as they are, but as we are.

THOUGHTS ON MY BIRTHDAY

January 7, 2020January 7, 2020 / Dynamo

Today is a special day for me as I become a year older (a day older, actually. I didn’t just pack a whole year into today now, did I?).

This year’s birthday, I can say with all truthfulness, is definitely much better than every single one of my previous birthdays, except for the ones when I was still a kid and didn’t have thoughts of anything else than how I would eat, drink, play and sleep.

Looking at this past year, there are a couple of lessons I have learnt. These are the things I recognize as having helped me have a year to be proud of.

1. Relationships

This cannot really be stressed enough. It is not what you know, it is who you know. That is, who you know will get you places, then what you know will keep you there.

I used to strongly fight that statement when I was much younger (and sillier), feeling that it just gives undue advantage to some people. But as I grow older and wiser (less silly), I have come to realize that this life is structured just like that.

Before you argue with me, remember the story of Rahab the Harlot and the spies? – Joshua 6:17. Also, see Ezekiel 14: 12 – 20. God Himself mentions 3 men. He gave them special mention.

And you say having connections give “unfair” advantage?

2. Move with a community of like-minded people

Honestly, I began to take more control of my Facebook activities towards the end of 2018, and it has had a direct impact in my life. I first discovered one group, then another and another, and it was around that time that my journey of personal development really started.

Before that time, Facebook was just “social media” for me. Go there, have fun, read silly posts and share nonsense, waste your time and exhaust your data. Then buy more data and continue the cycle.

But since I discovered that there is something else to do on Facebook apart from having mindless fun, Facebook has become another school for me. I am really facing my book now. 😄

Some of the groups that have really changed my life include: Online Publishers and Entrepreneurs Network (OPEN); Headstart Africa Community w/ John Obidi; Brilliant Entrepreneurs and Writers Academy (BEWA); The Business Centre :: Business Structure, Innovation and Marketing; School of Invention; Portfolio 9, among others (I only mentioned the ones which are not closed, and I left out WhatsApp groups).

My point? Join a community of like-minded individuals. A community of people who are going the same way as you. Your journey will be easier and fun.

3. Learn from people who have walked the journey you are trying to embark on

Joining groups automatically meant I started to follow some people. Great people, I must say.

I had been hearing of coaches and mentors, and how they can help your journey, but it used to look like something to do in a distant, non-existent future.

But now, I began to really know the meaning, and impact, of coaches and mentors. I started to follow influencers. Consume their articles. Sign up for their paid trainings and seminars (the ones I could afford). And I began to really see a change in my life. Change that had just been a distant wish before.

People who have really stood out for me include: I actually made a list here, but I deleted it to avoid any hullaballoo.

4. Stop this mentality of free everything

Free training, free webinar, free seminar, free certificate, blah, blah, blah… Stop that mindset immediately!

Many young people have this mindset that, “if they really want to help us, they should give us for free na”. Tueh! Spit it out! Let that mindset stop on January 7, 2020. Going forward, start planning to spend YOUR money to develop YOUR self. Stop looking for free stuff everywhere.

The Yorubas say “ògùn tí a kò bá fi owó șe, ẹyìn àrò ló ń gbé” meaning, medicine we didn’t spend money on, usually gets left behind the hearth.

When you pay for something, then you have even more motivation to value that thing.

And while I have not been paying for everything I wished I could pay for, I have definitely paid for trainings that, this time last year, I did not even dream I could.

5. Consciously take control of your own life

Atrophy – decay of something due to disuse. Or in this context, when something continues to decay because you just leave it to “nature”.

This mindset of what will be will be. Trust me, what will be, will not be if you do not make a conscious effort to make it be. Develop the mindset that “if it is to be, it is up to me”. Just a bunch of two-letter words, but very powerful if put to use.

It is your life after all, so take control of it and know that no one is responsible for your greatness, or lack of it, except you. Not your parents. Not your family. Not your spiritual leaders. Not even God. Only you!

They say the water one will drink will not flow past him. But you go to the stream and just sit there. See if the water will flow past you or not. I laugh you!

6. Trust the process. Celebrate small wins

Coach Kingsley Ime, blessed man, never stops making me realize something – you are not where you want to be, but you are not where you used to be.

Sometimes, it looks like you are not moving at all, and everybody is moving way ahead of you.

At times like these, look back at how far you have come and you will realize that there is much to be grateful for.

The holy book says never to despise the day of small beginnings. If you don’t take baby steps, how can you become strong enough to leap and jump? Enjoy the journey and the process, and always be grateful that you are moving.

That is what matters – that you are moving.

CONCLUSION

This time last year, I posted on my blog that the things I wanted for my birthday were a new phone and a laptop.

This year, while I will definitely not mind either of those things, what I really want for a birthday gift is a one-on-one with people like Ademola Morebise, Edirin Edewor, Eno Sam, John Obidi, Kingsley Ime, etc (PS – the list is strictly in alphabetical order. PPS – All these people made the list I alluded to earlier).

When I thought about that, it made me realize that my mindset has really changed indeed. I have grown from where I used to be.

As a final message, happy birthday to me!!!

THE LESSON I LEARNED FROM PLAYING 8-BALL POOL ON FACEBOOK GAMES – PERSPECTIVE!

December 30, 2019December 29, 2019 / Dynamo

I have been playing 8-ball pool on Facebook games for a while now, and there is a particular friend I have been playing with – I don’t know her, I only met her through the game and we’ve not tried contacting each other any other ways.

Since we started playing together, we must have played not less than 15 games and I think I have only won one out of those 15 games. The rest, she always trashes me, even if I sometimes have just a single ball against her four or five balls before it gets to her turn.

I’ve always been wondering how she does that, but I’ve never really found an answer. I’ve even considered whether Facebook has rigged the game so that it always favor her, seeing as she is white and I am Nigerian. But of course, that is nonsense – isn’t it?

So recently, while I was trying to port a ball, I decided to do something I’ve never done before – I flipped the phone upside down so that I can get a better perspective of where my ball will go once I send it flying. And I discovered something quite amazing!

I had previously positioned my cue to where I believed was the right position to port the ball, as the cue ball was at the top part of the table and I was trying to port a ball at the bottom.

So imagine my surprise when, after I had flipped the phone, I discovered that the cue position was off by a few millimeters. And it had looked so perfect to me before.

I repositioned and shot the ball and, voila, off it went into the pocket!

By doing a couple more phone flipping, I was able to get more balls in the pocket than I ever had in a single turn.

So what lesson did I learn?

Perspective!

There is usually a much better and efficient way to complete a task, but you can only see it if you are able to look from a different perspective than you have been naturally trained to look.

As long as you stick to what you believe is the ‘right’ way to do things, you will be much limited in what you can achieve. But once you can take a step back from your ‘normal’, and look at the situation from other angles, you will suddenly discover a host of other possible ways to achieve your desire.

Become wild in your thinking. Look at the situation from totally unrelated fields.

The attached image is supposedly the story of the phrase “think outside the box”. The puzzle was first proposed by Sam Lloyd in his 1914 book, the Cyclopedia of Puzzles.

In it, you have a box of nine dots, and you are asked to connect all 9 dots using four straight lines or less, without lifting the pen or tracing the same line more than once.

Of course, our brain automatically creates a box around the nine dots, which limits where we can put our lines.

The solution is to draw your lines outside the ‘box’, thereby “thinking outside the box”.

I bet you couldn’t have solved that puzzle easily, if you didn’t see the image attached.

So, once again, remember to look away from your normal, and allow other perspectives in your thinking.

To an amazing 2020!

Image credit – medium.com, via google.com.