Wow - it's been a while since I've posted any updates.

First off, I guess I should consider myself pretty lucky. I only had a 29 day cycle after our loss in December. I've seen some girls say they go 6-8 weeks before their next cycle starts. I'm glad that my cycles still remain fairly regular with all I've put my body through over the past two years.

Yesterday was cd9 and I did my Ovidrel trigger. IUI will be tomorrow morning around 9am. That might seem early, but we started stims on cd2 again this month so I did get a full week of injections in before triggering.

We also played with my dose a little this time. Instead of starting off with Menopur for 4 days and then switching to Follistim, we only did Follistim this time. This was a first. It's too early to tell if it made a difference, so we'll see!

As of Tuesday, cd8, I had some pretty good looking follies growing. There was an 18, 16.5, 15, 14, 12 and 11. The biggest three are my primary follies and the ones we expect to do something, but who knows, that 14 could also catch up given an extra couple of days to grow. My lining was also looking good at 7.6mm. My RE would like to see it 8.0mm by the time of the IUI so chances are pretty good I'd be above that by Friday.

We also talked about some other form of progestone supplements in my luteal phase. I'm curious to see what he tweaks as far as that goes.

By this time tomorrow I'll be head on into another 2ww. Testing should be around Feb 8th. I'll keep you all posted!

I have been pretty hard on myself and really negative lately in the weeks following the m/c.

I saw this Willow Tree figurine called "Hope" in someone's bio this weekend, and it kind of hit home that I need to find my hope again.

Hope is all we have right now. I can't let it fade. This morning I did a quick web search, found and ordered one of these little guys.

My hope right now is that when it arrives it helps to get me out of this funk that I'm in and brings me to a better place.

I am so fed up with these "borderline normal" test results I could seriously scream!

Today we found out that his testosterone level was 337 - for someone of his age and physical condition, the doctor thought it would be at least 400-500. 250 is what's considered "low" so he's above that, but not as far as they'd like to see. So, to start, they requested a repeat of this test, as it could be a fluky thing.

Then the fragmentation test that was done on the sperm also came back "borderline normal". Ugggh! They want to see <15, he scored 18.34. So, again, not too far from normal, but just outside the window.

I had some tests done following m/c #2 and so far all I know is that I tested negative (which is good) for the Anticardiolipins Antibody which can cause some clotting and lead to miscarriages. Since we still really don't have any clear answers, I am going to go ahead and get the full RPL (Recurrent Pregnancy Loss) panel done that includes more of the clotting disorders and possibly even karotyping.

Depending on what kind of results we get from my additional tests, and the repeat testosterone test, he may be put on Clomid. It takes 3 months for the Clomid to have an impact on the sperm, but once he starts it, he'll be on it until there is a viable baby because if he goes off, it'll cause a significant drop in sperm production (we are assuming) until his body and hormones regulate again. If he goes on the Clomid, they want to see him for more blood work after 3 weeks and for another SA and more blood work at 4 months.

Can't I just get some black and white test results for once??? Please!!!

Happy New Year ... and thank you to all of our good friends that helped support us throughout the past year. We started this journey all alone, but we couldn't have made it this far without friends. Wishing you all the best in the coming year.