always.

Friday, March 31, 2006

im feeling HIGH.
hahaha.

oh yes.
to my prettay girlfriend :
im super happy for you. REALLY. when you two told me the news, i could've cried.
seriously.
im glad things turned out all well (:

well.
yes yes yes.
love is INDEED in the air.
all my girlfriends shouldve figured that out by now.
haha.

school was alright today.
rather typical.
except for the whole other thing.
*winks to those who knows.
and had TECHNICAL rehearsal just now.
for achievers' day.
sara and i cried.
we watched the guys do the hiphop NUMBER.
it was so eff-ing cool.
we couldve been in it..
we COULDVE. seriously.
all thanks to JANE CHNG who banned us from the class.
she WAS the one who said 'dance is not just about one type/genre, dance is about various dances'..
AND here she is, banning us from hiphop.
she's just jealous that we like the oTHer dance better than hers.
im on rebel-mode.
bring it on.

i love my dearest boy.
youre the sweetest thing i've ever known.
youre all i ever wanted,
youre all i ever need.
i thought this wouldnt be.
i contradict myself
cos youve always been RIGHT here for me.
i love you THIS much(:

right now, im having a good chat with him.
its his birthday in a few minutes.
i shall countdown.
hahaha.
oh wells <<3

your LOVE.
RACHEL
31st march 2006. friday. 11.27 pm.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

ALRIGHT.
school today was alright.
i FINALLY understood AMATH.
haha.
we shall celebrate.
seriously... THE FIRST CHAPTER OF AMATH I UNDERSTOOD,
AFTER LIKE HOW MANY CHAPTERS THEY'VE DONE.
and its REMAINDER THEOREM.
tralalalala (:
and the school made us do this DUMB survey again.
they make us do it every year.
i dont see a point.
oh. had P.E today..
with some 3e2 girls.
we played netball.. havent played with them since last year in 2e4..
awwwww.
it was super fun.
melissa and i were in a team, VSed trena, weiqian, eliza and felicia.
LOLS. not fair.. they got 4, we've only got two.
but we still won.. SO .. lalalaala!. haha

the weather was super bad.
it was soooo freaking HOT.
i could've died during the english class test.
so straight after school,
went with the girls to the washroom.
and i took a shower there. LOLS
seriously, it was so freaking humid.
and i felt soo much better after that.
hahaha.

went with sara and jia'en to a japanese restaurant for lunch.
super super super stuffed.
then we went all the way back to ginza to study.
then cabbed home after.

something i asked sara and jia'en :
- if babies who are borne on track can run fast,
and babies who are borne in water are water-babies, which mean they can swim once thier borned, THEN wouldnt babies who are borned in aeroplanes be able to FLY?!?... -
their answer :
- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-
oh wells.

oh yes.
i learnt something new today..
'SAYA MEMCINTAIR ANDA'
which means I LOVE YOU.
HEHH. how cool is that
i just spoke MALAY.

yes boy, youre my dearest too (:

dream-come true,
RACHEL
30march2006. thursday. 8.05pm

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

i feel LIFELESS.
seriously.
in other words, im EMOTION-LESS.
and melissa knows whats going on.

god. i even had to force myself to laugh just now.
and it was so freaking fake.
as most of them could tell.
URGH.

so anyways, things are all settled and back to normal.
I THINK.

love you truck-loads my dearest boy.
youre my all in all.
RACHEL (:
29march.thursday.9pm

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

well. i just got home.
we had contemp dance.
im TIRED.

school was such a bore.
i think.. im going to be a school drop-out.
gawd. thats bad.
haha.
we had house meeting today.
we did the cheers.
super humiliating. had to go on stage to dance.
JACARANDA aint SPORTING. seriously. we need enthusiasm.
ppl. its not everyday that you can shout this loud in school,.
and now youre given a chance and youre just being sucha loser.
right.
forget that.

and yea. thanks loads for the drum sticks, super cool and super well decorated. (:

RACHEL
28march06. tuesday. 9.20pm

Monday, March 27, 2006

changed the whole layout.

as you can see.

FINALLY.

oh yeys.

here goes the shout outs again :

[[ YOU PPL KNOW WHO YOU ARE]]

to my sweetest BREAKDANCING didi : aww. thanks a whole bunch for sending me that 10 PAGES long sms. heh. it was super sweet. and.. really meaningful. and thanks for being there for me.. and rest assure i'll be here for you whenever you need me. (: and youre my bestest, best-dancing LIL BROTHER too(: .. thanks kevinn.

to my caring SUPPORTIVE kor : hehe. 1stly, wanna thank you for spending sunday out with me.. and trying to distract me from whatever is on my mind.. and also standing up for me. 2ndly, walking up and down, just to find dinner. LOL. 3rdly, thanks for caring for me so much. all the smses, msges, and talks we'd had. and finally, thanks for ALL you had done for me.. thanks aloysius kor. you go boy!

to YOU : okay. 1st of all.. that phonecall DID help, so.. thanks. and my annoying 7-yr old brother isnt cute. and thanks for being there for me 24/7. and also.. for letting me graffiti your album and file. HEH. that was fun.. and about the song. it was realllyyyy niiiceeee. wow, i see a rising drummer/composer star. 3 cheers for that. and thanks for backing me up and standing up for me in times like this. you simply rock my world... and you know that.

okay thats enough for now..

school was a total loser.

sorry, let me correct that.

I WAS a total loser.

right.

went out with sara, felicia, melissa, jiaen, edrik and kevinn.

we just crapped.

and stuff.

im really bored.

im sick of this.

RACHEL

27march2006. monday. 10.07pm

Saturday, March 25, 2006

suddenly.
im having second thoughts.
i've been super troubled this past week.

jing ying : ''rachel, you look depressed this week''
melissa : '' rae, are you okay? you're super quiet this week ''
jia'en : '' meiyi-naber, you want to study?! you dont wanna hang out? WHAT HAPPEN TO YOU?!? ''..
sara : ''rae, dont think about it too much. its not your fault''
felicia : ''rachel, its his choice, and it has NOTHING gotta do with you. its not your fault, so dont keep blaming yourself.''
jailee : ''youre particularly quiet today. is anything wrong?''
aloysius KOR : ''GO FOR IT.''
my brother : '' this is life. get over it. its obviously not your fault, why are you trying to push it to yourself? i know you dont flirt. i know. i know EVRYTHING about you. he's just right infront of you. are you waiting for heaven to fall?.. i know she's a friend you treasure alot, till now and in the future.. BUT, why are you letting an obstacle like this block you from what you KNOW you want. why?. you should know what to do..''

yes.
its all my fault.
im whatever you say i am.
be it bitch or flirt.
i accept.
but..
why not you just confront me face to face..
instead of to everyone else but me?
i'd feel so much better if you scold me or whatever.
seriously.
i feel so freaking guilty.
DO YOU KNOW?.
no you dont.
cos all you think of me is that i only care about my own feelings.
well , i dont.
youre my friend.
im not insensitive.
i know how you feel.
and i hope you know how i feel too.
im really sorry.

RACHEL.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

It's undeniable
that we should be together.
It's unbelievable
how I used to say that I'd fall never
The basis you need to know,
if you don't know just how I feel,
Then let me show you now that I'm for real...
If all things in time, time will reveal...

1, youre like a dream come true.
2, just wanna be with you.
3, boy its plain to see,
that youre the only one for me.
4, repeat steps 1 through 3.
5, fall in love with me.

gosh. did i just typed all that?...
RIGHT.
although i know its wrong to love you.
BUT its not a choice i can make.
she's been sucha good friend.
yet..
the advantages im taking of.
im feeling ontop of the world when she's just been crushed.
i feel bad.
BUT .. like i said.
its hard to control your feelings.
im sorry.
to you,
for being sucha bitch and turning my back on you.
and the fault is all mine.
so please..
leave him out of it.

im in love. though i shouldnt be.
RACHEL.
23march. thursday. 8.30 pm.

Monday, March 20, 2006

sara ; rachel ; melissa ; felicia = Sworn2Secrecy.
S2S..

melissa sara and i composed this really cool song.
its really cool.
awwwww... (:

and yes.
im STILL in love. heh.
as sara has defined me,
im FLOATY.
in other words,
i've been smiling to myself non-stop all day.
and im feeling ON-TOP-OF-THE-UNIVERSE.
hehh hehh.
im sorry to melissa and sara,
for those times when i wasnt paying attention...
i was too lost in stoning and day-dreaming.
as you could tell. (:

and..
i would like to thank YOU,
for accompanying me throughout the whole day,
through smsing.
whether or not youre going to be reading this.
so... BIG BIG THANKIES. (:

im still addicted to the MORE THAN WORDS song.
its still ringing in my head.
ah gawd.

will update about perth trip soon.

RACHEL.
20march. monday. 9pm

Sunday, March 19, 2006

omg im back from perth. YEYS.

it was awesome.

i'd post about it soon...

more than words :

Saying I love you
Is not the words
I want to hear from you
Its not that
I want you not to say
But if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel

More than words
Is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say
that you love me, yeah
Cause I'd already know.

Now that I've tried to
Talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is
Close your eyes and just reach out your hand
And touch me
Hold me close don't ever let me go
More than words
Is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say
That you love me, yeah
Cause I'd already know

(: gosh. im in love.

RACHEL.
19 march. sunday. 7pm

Saturday, March 11, 2006

HEY HEY.

im finally back.
and im super happy. (:

had sec 3 adventure camp from the 8-10th.

1st day : the bus journey there was alright thanks to WEIXING who entertained us with his sillyness. as we got past those cemetries and deeper and deeper into the island, i realized THIS WAS IT. its the end of the world. there wont be civilization and there wont be any fun without our high standards of living. reached the campsite.. its at jalan baterah. which is... where the japanese soldiers of world-war two 1ST steped into SINGAPORE. and where they 'war-ed'.. the place SERIOUSLY looked deprived. super run-down. its like where those NS men would do their military trainings. INFACT, their BMT at pulau tekong, is much nicer then this. GOSH.
we were splitted into different groups. IM IN GROUP SEVEN. hongyi and bjorn was the group leaders. and FELS, JINGYING AND I were in the same group! yeys. heheh. with wanru and joleen and aaron and leong an. THIS was enough to make the building collapse. haha. and there were many other members. yadah yadah yadah. had our night walk. its like only can walk 2 or 4 at a time through the whole forest thingy, before the next 2 or 4 ppl walks. no lights. and there were so many ppl out there to scare us. jia yi, felicia, xue fei and i walked together.. we skipped and sang our way out. lols. 'just keep skipping skipping skipping'.. LOTS OF PPL SAW THINGS. shallnt elaborate.

BY THE WAY, the bunks, looked like chicken-coops. lols.

2nd day: was super fun! we did rock climbing, canoeing/kayyaking, zip-line/flying fox and water games. rock climbing was super fun. just that.. the wall was much of a let down. the rocks were movable and its lousy. aaron belayed me. cos i only can trust him to belay me all the way up and down. i made it up to the second last panel before dropping. jingying and fels did rather great too. and leong an was like an expert LOLS. cos of BB.. he made it all the way UP. 4 or 5 storeys. then we did cannoeing. fels and i partnered, wanru and jing ying partnered and we VS leong an and aaron.. played catching and pirates. lols. super lame but fun. the seniors kept capsizing fels and i. THE stupid jiehao and hong jun. always bully one lor. then we did ZIP LINE / flying fox. omg. its like jumping of a three storey building, then glide all the way down, past a soccer field. lols. the 1st part when you drop down, its like suiciding. HEH. and everyone was shouting stupid phrases. jing ying was like 'MR PEK ROCKS' [he's the teacher incharge of this game] and fels was like 'AHHH'.. and i was like 'call 999!!!!'.... simply enjoyable. then we played water games. since we were the last group, we had a WATER PARTY.lols. ONCE again, jie hao, being a senior, threw a whole bucket of water unexpectedly onto my face. cos he was aiming the other direction.. but he threw it at me. i chocked on the water OKAY. dammit.
second night had camp fire. it was alright... my group did a skit. heh.. and i had to act as this pampered girl, who goes to camp without maids and had to do everything myself and learned to be independant, under the strict rules of the camp instructors, jing ying and justine. heh.. we got SECOND place! tralalas.

3rd day : was just cleaning up and stuff. they returned our handphones and stuff. i lost my handphone in like 10 mins after smsing a few ppl.. i was super angry cos i was msging half way. then went back to school. MELISSA CAME and told me she kept my phone. LOLS. ahhh!!!!.... play prank.. got our report books and then was dismissed.
we had contemp training... for the perth trip which is later at night...
all super tired.

im leaving for perth in less than 24 hours!. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
heh heh.

RACHEL
11th march. saturday. 9.02am.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

things you should know about RACHEL :

1] im very very unpredictable. as some of you may know.
2] i love dancing.
3] i love sports.
4] i love rock-climbing.
5] i dont eat enough greens.
6] i have my own room but i dont sleep in it, instead, i sleep in my dance room..
[ some of you have seen that room eh.]
7] i like ms solastri. whenever she scolds, its like a whole language lesson for me..
i get to learn a whole new set of vocabulary. (:
8] the most humiliating moment in my life was when i was 9,
i was playing with a comb, and it got entangled in my hair.
there was so many ppl helping me get it out, and in the end, i had to get it cut.
GOD. the trauma.
9] i love the stage. its where i belong.
10] im very noisy. in other words, im an extrovert.
11] i hate chinese. PUH-LEASE.
12] what is love? LOVE IS YOU.
13] i get motion-sickness. thats why i live on sweets to prevent any UNWANTED
happenings.
14] i cant sleep if i dont do my before-sleep-workout.
15] when i hear music, i feel a need to dance.
16] doesnt understand algebra, since i started learning it in primary 4.
17] people think i run so much to train for sports,
in actual fact, i run to train my stamina for DANCE.
just like how choir ppl run to train their stamina for singing.
18] i do better at short division than long division in track.
19] i have no idea how trena won me in high jump.
20] i want to open a dance school when i grow older.
21] once im 18, i want to get my drivers license.
22] i've been taking dance lessons for the past 12 years.
23] i want a red/yellow/green convertable when i get my license.
24] i think that guys who wear braces and specs are cute.
25] i think that guys who speak proper english are totally cool.
26] i want to get my retainers!.

okay. thats all for now. i shall update that soon.

so...
i had dance class today.
it was alright.
im so bored.
tralala.

i cant seem to forget about you.
its beyond my control to do so.
if i could,
i would...
but no matter what i'll try.

RACHEL.
5th march. sunday. 7pm

Saturday, March 04, 2006

YES. yes
im back from shopping!
sort of..
cos we didnt have much time.

HAD contemp in the morning.
i tell you. its getting more boring.
cos mrs chng is focusing on MODERN.
yucks.
we did the cap-dance, hiphop and modern for the perth thingy.
this tues is our last rehearsal before we go perth..
after dance,
went with jiaen, melissa, and sara to bugis area.
got lots and lots of stuff.
clothes, bags, shades, LOTS of accessories, sashes, etc etcs.
super fun.

going to perth soon.
yea babeh.
wheeee.

toyou :
i still love you as much as i used to.
but now i've got to learn to stop.
theres a limit to everything.
and my limit has reached the maximum.
im sorry.

to her:
he's all yours. (:

RACHEL
4feb. sat. 11pm

Friday, March 03, 2006

to that special friend of mine.
who happens to like him too.

i know this is super wierd.
and you have been assuming.
AND i keep telling you that i dont like him.
HAHA.
now i feel stupid.
well... i should tell you this.
yes. in actual fact.
i do like him.
BUT its not a big deal yea.
cos you've guessed it anyways.

you should be brave, girl.
go for it.
dont ever give up.
no matter what stupid reasons he may give.
never ever EVER give up on what you want.
im sure on that one day,
he'll realize how lucky he is for him to be liked so dearly.
indeed he is fortunate for a girl like you to like him.
for such a devoted girl that is...
all the way.
(:

you know who you are. (:

Sometimes it's wrong to walk away, though you think it's over
Knowing there's so much more to say
Suddenly the moment's gone
And all your dreams are upside down
And you just wanna change the way the world goes round

I really wanna hear you say that you know just how it feels
To have it all and let it slip away, can't you see
Even though the moment's gone, I'm still holding on somehow

i suddenly feel.
im not that strong after all.
im not strong enough to keep it all to myself.
and im not strong enough to continue on the journey away from reality.
but i know. i must try to be, and let go.
let go... for the sake of a friend.
i cant possibly be selfish enough to like him,
when i know YOU, such a good friend,
likes him so much more than i do.
i love him too. BUT. i know.. you need him more than i do.
the thought of it. makes me want to cry.
but i shall be strong. i'll hold back the tears.
hold back the sudden burst of emotions.
i've never felt this way before.
i've never liked someone THIS much.
why me? why happen on me?...
why do i even like you? i dont know.
you just happen to catch hold of my attention.
its been 8 months since someone was able to catch my attention.
and surprisingly, you did.
could this be?

school was alright today.
mr owyeong, my math teacher has just announced,
that only one person in my class passed A-MATH.
haha.
CONGRATS to yangfei who passed it!. all the way girl! (:
and 9 people got ZERO over 30.
and 8 people got ONE over 30.
we should be getting our papers next week.
lol.
how cool is that.
had our ENGLISH paper 1 today.
the last paper.
it was alright.
although im quietly hoping for an A2.
haha.
it may be quite impossible, considering that ms elaine CHNG,
would be using the cambridge-format to mark our papers.
keeping my fingers crossed. (:

after school, went to GINZA with felicia, sara and jia'en.
we walked around.
and crapped ALOT.
oh wells. its thanks to them that i dont die of depression.
cos with them around, my life is always cheerful and full of craziness!
and not forgetting melissa too.
another crazy girl who makes me laugh till i get stomach cramps.

oh yes.
i just got my BOXERS!.
oooo their soo super cute.
sadly, im not BOY enough to expose them to public.
LOLS. right.

RACHEL.
3march.friday.9pm.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

music makes me loose control.
pump, pump, pump it up ya'll.
okay.
yes. im feeling very jumpy.
i so need to dance.
SADLY, mrs chng cancelled our hiphop class today with mr eugene.
cos we were having our common test.

OH.
im so going to flunk my maths paper.
seriously.
majority of the sec 3s found it rather tough.
except for 3e1, who learnt the same stuff cos the teacher who set the paper,
was their MATH teacher.
so. i wont be surprised if the school,
calls for a retest as the results from majority will be exceptionally bad.
i mean, last year the sec 3s got a retest too.
so why not?..
Amath was a KILLER.
i dont think i'll be able to get a SINGLE mark.
i even got something i THOUGHT was correct, WRONG.
how stupid.
i shall drop Amath next year.

school was alright.
i just found out that BIOLOGY and FnN,
are covering the same topic!
.nutrition.
so whatever i learn in FnN, applies to biology.
how convenient! (:

yes.
i spy YOU, spying me.
haha.
whatever.

RACHEL.
1 march. wed. 9pm