why hello there.
it's been a long time since we've spoken. allow me to update you on my life and thoughtlife.
i booked a ticket to the grand canyon. i am so excited i almost peed my pants while i looked over my itinerary today. i have a lot of goals in life, but started to wonder what i truly want to do and see before i die. like if i died in my sleep tonight what would i be pissed that i wasn't yet able to accomplish. a bucket list, if you will. some deep. some shallow. all equally urgent. hiking the grand canyon has been on there for awhile, so here we go. 1st week in december. get ready.
God has been stretching me a lot lately. being home, dealing with the end of a long and meaningful relationship. i'm learning patience and endurance. at the same time, i've been filled with an unspeakable joy. it's different than before. a sound "knowing" that my life is in God's hands, and it always will be. a real love of my job at the golf course. a massage job in the making. snowboarding just around the corner. an amazing network of friends. old and new and near and far and all very different. but all wonderful. i have a lot to be thankful for right now. i have done and seen so much in my life already, and i have so much more to do and see. i am a young life leader now too, which has opened a lot of doors for ministry here for me here.
so heres a tentative bucket list:
-explore my heritage and homeland of norway
-speak FLUENT spanish
-become one who climbs rocks
-ride an elephant through the jungle
-obtain my private pilot's license
-trek to everest base camp
-milk a cow
-break 80 (golf)
-live in alaska
-deliver flowers for a day
-learn an instrument-well
-check out the pyramids from the back of a camel
-learn some mma
-adopt a child
-cambodia/thailand
-have NO possessions besides what i can fit in a backpack (for awhile)
-hang glide and not die
-have some chickens and some goats
-meet chuna's family in ethiopia
-fall & stay madly in love with the man i marry
-make a documentary (this is new and i'm really serious about it)
-become a potter and make all my own plates, mugs, etc.
more to come...
there's a new song i keep hearing on the radio that i love. it talks about the MYSTERY of God. which is something i feel like we've lost along the way a bit. we praise him, talk about him, preach him, but there is still so much we have to LEARN about him. to wonder, attempt to comprehend, and stand in awe of. i heard a saying once about a God that we can fit inside our minds being no God at all. i think it's good to ask questions about his character and learn as we grow and change. some of the lyrics are as follows:
"what do i know of you
who spoke me into motion?
where have i even stood
but the shore along your ocean?
are you fire? are you fury? are you sacred? are you beautiful?
what do i know? what do i know of holy?
i guess i thought that i had figured you out
i knew all the stories and i learned to talk about
how you were mighty to save
those were only empty words on a page
then i caught a glimpse of who you might be
the slightest hint of you brought me down to my knees"
-anyway. premiere time. lateskis!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Lazy days & analogical hikes
It has been a lazy day full off Man vs. Wild and Planet Earth and various poolside pocasts. It has been so nice though since i know that tomorrow i'm going to dive head first into the job hunt. Or else the med-study-lab-rat hunt. Hmmm....might it be the perfect time to get paid to be person they are speaking of when they say "May cause side-effects including nausea, diarrhea, dry-mouth etc etc.."? Anyway.
I came across this analogy of Christianity on facebook, and I thought it was really a really clever and beautiful way to describe it. I know it isn't an original thought but sometimes we all need a good, encouraging story to penetrate our minds. After all, why do you think Jesus spoke in parables? Here goes:
Imagine that you and I are standing at the head of a trail. Both of us have never hiked this particular mountain before.
I say "I wonder what's at the end. Let's hike the path and see what we find."You say "How do we even know there's anything there? We should look for a sign that something is there before we waste time and effort hiking this trail."
Meanwhile, many people are milling about, some have returned from walking on the trail, and others have yet to hike it. Still others have started down the path but found it difficult - giving up before they reached the end. The comments that we hear are varied. From the trail-walkers, we hear about how beautiful the scenery is along the way, but how it all pales in comparison to the experience of being at the summit.
Those who are still milling around the trail-head say "Look at the rocks, and the briers; the thorns and wild animals. It would be foolish to go. No one can tell us exactly what lies at the end - how do we know that anything is actually there? I'm not going to expend time, effort, sweat, and tears on this climb only to find that there's no payoff."
Still others - those who have returned without reaching the end are reacting in various states. Some are despondent, tearful that they were unable to complete the journey, and racked with disappointment. Another group is livid, screaming that they walked for miles without seeing a single pretty leaf or cute squirrel, let alone the incomparable experience of the summit.
Finally, I pull out a trail guide - written by the very first hikers ever to climb this particular mountain. It's old, tattered - not nearly as cool looking as some of the other trail guides that people have - none of the glossy maps or step by step footholds for the climb up. Rather, it's written more as a story - those from a large group that set out on this climb. Not only does it tell of those who kept hiking, it tells of those who stopped, those who waited, and those who never started. It never promises that the climb is easy, nor quick - but it does promise that it's worth it.
Now, I've left on my hike, but I'm not too far ahead...do you dare run to catch up with me? Or will you forever stay at the trail-head, and never try to see from the summit firsthand?
I came across this analogy of Christianity on facebook, and I thought it was really a really clever and beautiful way to describe it. I know it isn't an original thought but sometimes we all need a good, encouraging story to penetrate our minds. After all, why do you think Jesus spoke in parables? Here goes:
Imagine that you and I are standing at the head of a trail. Both of us have never hiked this particular mountain before.
I say "I wonder what's at the end. Let's hike the path and see what we find."You say "How do we even know there's anything there? We should look for a sign that something is there before we waste time and effort hiking this trail."
Meanwhile, many people are milling about, some have returned from walking on the trail, and others have yet to hike it. Still others have started down the path but found it difficult - giving up before they reached the end. The comments that we hear are varied. From the trail-walkers, we hear about how beautiful the scenery is along the way, but how it all pales in comparison to the experience of being at the summit.
Those who are still milling around the trail-head say "Look at the rocks, and the briers; the thorns and wild animals. It would be foolish to go. No one can tell us exactly what lies at the end - how do we know that anything is actually there? I'm not going to expend time, effort, sweat, and tears on this climb only to find that there's no payoff."
Still others - those who have returned without reaching the end are reacting in various states. Some are despondent, tearful that they were unable to complete the journey, and racked with disappointment. Another group is livid, screaming that they walked for miles without seeing a single pretty leaf or cute squirrel, let alone the incomparable experience of the summit.
Finally, I pull out a trail guide - written by the very first hikers ever to climb this particular mountain. It's old, tattered - not nearly as cool looking as some of the other trail guides that people have - none of the glossy maps or step by step footholds for the climb up. Rather, it's written more as a story - those from a large group that set out on this climb. Not only does it tell of those who kept hiking, it tells of those who stopped, those who waited, and those who never started. It never promises that the climb is easy, nor quick - but it does promise that it's worth it.
Now, I've left on my hike, but I'm not too far ahead...do you dare run to catch up with me? Or will you forever stay at the trail-head, and never try to see from the summit firsthand?
Friday, August 21, 2009
how do i even start this...
so i thought it would be a good idea to start blogging. i guess what triggered this is a recent series of events that stimulated my mind so much that i was looking for a notebook (but there wasn't one) to write things down in. realizations, thoughts, questions, encouragements, ideas, etc. don't expect anything more than unpunctuated, non-sensical, lower-case run-on sentences that satiate (is that a real word?) my need to get the thoughts that flood my mind down onto paper. or keyboard. and i am only going to write on this things when i am inspired to and in the mood for it. it is actually a scary thing to me to "bare my soul" on a blog, but i will aim to be as real, raw, and "non-self-editing" as possible. because this is me, after all.
Today was a day of great realizations for me. i spent 9 hours in a car on a drive that should have taken me 5, so there wasn't much else to do but realize things. i was able to see my WONDERFUL friend Chuna along the way, though, and at that point came my 1st realization. Chuna is the most beautiful person i have ever met and i admire so much about that girl i don't even know where to begin. she has the most sensitive, loving, vivacious spirit i have ever seen in a person. i am so thankful for what she has added to my life, and realize how extremely rare it is in this life to find someone you trust with your life and connect to with your soul. she (RE) intoduced me to everyone she works with and then said "ok now HUG HER!" (or him). if absolutely nothing else came from my 11 months living in Seattle, finding my little Ethiopian friend at Cortiva would have been more than enough for me. the Lord really surprises me sometimes.
speaking of that, the other day i drove up to bellingham with my bike on my roof and 20 dollars to live on. i realized that i had forgotten my bike lock combo which would mean that my lock is stuck to my bike and i need to go buy a new one. i could think of more worthy things to spend my 20 on. i prayed that i would remember this combo i hadn't used for 6+ months. the Lord then gave me a VISION of my combo, like the lock numbers were spinning then landed on 5332. i got to my destination, tried the vision combo, and unlocked the lock. wow. ok, so this might sound rediculous, and you might not think the Almighty God of the Universe cares about bike locks, but i'm CONVINCED that He cares about me enough to help me out in the small things in life. and this brought me to another realization: He cares A LOT. about every detail in our lives. if He cares to help me remember my bike combo and save a few much-needed dollars, what more does He want to reveal to me in this life? MUCH bigger things, i'm sure. and He has since then.
another realization: God is still speaking to us. Hebrews says that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. this honestly blows my mind. when i read the Bible i see miracles. millions of them, everywhere. God is still moving, speaking, acting in those ways. i need to be reminded of this every so often. and it isn't always in the audible voice/lightning strike/slap-in-the-face kind of way. i'm sure He speaks to other people that way sometimes too, but not to me very often. He is ALWAYS faithful. TO ALL OF US! TO ME! i'm the worst of sinners and i have hardly been making time for him recently, but He still speaks to my heart. incredible. He did this through a thing my cousin told me about called Loveology. a series of 3 sermons that you can watch the videos of online. i highly recommend it to anyone (google a solid rock church, or a jesus church, something like that. they are out of portland, or). i feel extremely blessed to be known and loved by my Savior.
this made me think about a story about Elijah from 1Kings 19 that i love:
The Lord said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by." Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.
i'm back in kennewick and its time to get direction and purpose for this period of time. meaning i need a job. bad. hopefully a massage job. let me now if you know of anything. here are some questions lingering on my mind from my drive today, if you know the answers, fill me in:
-why does everybody drive in the left lane of traffic even if they are S L O WWW? i now pass EVERYONE on the right (fast) and they feel stupid. probably not a good idea.
-Christians put a Christian fish on their cars because they feel the need to tell others that they have submitted to a great Love and live their lives to resemble His. or something along those lines i think. sooo....what is the deal with the Darwin thing? you believe in evolution? cool. did he save you from the fiery lake of burning sulfer (thats real, rev. 21)? i didn't think so. so what are we trying to say people.
-why does not EVERY gas station sell arizona tea? its delicious and it is by far the best deal on a drink in the universe. almost a hundred ounces of healthy goodness for 99 cents. but i'm not biased.
ok.
i just ate an entire bag of cheesy rice cakes so i think that means its time to stop. but i liked this so i'll probably do it again tomorrow. weeee! love you all----
Today was a day of great realizations for me. i spent 9 hours in a car on a drive that should have taken me 5, so there wasn't much else to do but realize things. i was able to see my WONDERFUL friend Chuna along the way, though, and at that point came my 1st realization. Chuna is the most beautiful person i have ever met and i admire so much about that girl i don't even know where to begin. she has the most sensitive, loving, vivacious spirit i have ever seen in a person. i am so thankful for what she has added to my life, and realize how extremely rare it is in this life to find someone you trust with your life and connect to with your soul. she (RE) intoduced me to everyone she works with and then said "ok now HUG HER!" (or him). if absolutely nothing else came from my 11 months living in Seattle, finding my little Ethiopian friend at Cortiva would have been more than enough for me. the Lord really surprises me sometimes.
speaking of that, the other day i drove up to bellingham with my bike on my roof and 20 dollars to live on. i realized that i had forgotten my bike lock combo which would mean that my lock is stuck to my bike and i need to go buy a new one. i could think of more worthy things to spend my 20 on. i prayed that i would remember this combo i hadn't used for 6+ months. the Lord then gave me a VISION of my combo, like the lock numbers were spinning then landed on 5332. i got to my destination, tried the vision combo, and unlocked the lock. wow. ok, so this might sound rediculous, and you might not think the Almighty God of the Universe cares about bike locks, but i'm CONVINCED that He cares about me enough to help me out in the small things in life. and this brought me to another realization: He cares A LOT. about every detail in our lives. if He cares to help me remember my bike combo and save a few much-needed dollars, what more does He want to reveal to me in this life? MUCH bigger things, i'm sure. and He has since then.
another realization: God is still speaking to us. Hebrews says that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. this honestly blows my mind. when i read the Bible i see miracles. millions of them, everywhere. God is still moving, speaking, acting in those ways. i need to be reminded of this every so often. and it isn't always in the audible voice/lightning strike/slap-in-the-face kind of way. i'm sure He speaks to other people that way sometimes too, but not to me very often. He is ALWAYS faithful. TO ALL OF US! TO ME! i'm the worst of sinners and i have hardly been making time for him recently, but He still speaks to my heart. incredible. He did this through a thing my cousin told me about called Loveology. a series of 3 sermons that you can watch the videos of online. i highly recommend it to anyone (google a solid rock church, or a jesus church, something like that. they are out of portland, or). i feel extremely blessed to be known and loved by my Savior.
this made me think about a story about Elijah from 1Kings 19 that i love:
The Lord said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by." Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.
i'm back in kennewick and its time to get direction and purpose for this period of time. meaning i need a job. bad. hopefully a massage job. let me now if you know of anything. here are some questions lingering on my mind from my drive today, if you know the answers, fill me in:
-why does everybody drive in the left lane of traffic even if they are S L O WWW? i now pass EVERYONE on the right (fast) and they feel stupid. probably not a good idea.
-Christians put a Christian fish on their cars because they feel the need to tell others that they have submitted to a great Love and live their lives to resemble His. or something along those lines i think. sooo....what is the deal with the Darwin thing? you believe in evolution? cool. did he save you from the fiery lake of burning sulfer (thats real, rev. 21)? i didn't think so. so what are we trying to say people.
-why does not EVERY gas station sell arizona tea? its delicious and it is by far the best deal on a drink in the universe. almost a hundred ounces of healthy goodness for 99 cents. but i'm not biased.
ok.
i just ate an entire bag of cheesy rice cakes so i think that means its time to stop. but i liked this so i'll probably do it again tomorrow. weeee! love you all----
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