Little Reese's Progress

I have really wanted to write more but life has been a little crazy. Reese has had a full recovery but now we have learned to become paranoid parents and worry with every little cough that pneumonia is on its way. Eric and I are normally pretty laid back about coughs, colds, and all that stuff so I have to tell myself that we need to be paranoid about this kid for the next year or two. So many emotions and thoughts that I have wanted to get down but just haven't let myself. I don't know why. It may because it will make me cry or just have been busy. Busy staying at home and away from people so Reese won't get germs but busy too. The first week or two home as I would be driving Waklee to school and passing the hospital where we took Reese to the E.R. it would bring back a flood of memories and most days I would tear up. One thing that always gets me is when I think about Eric calling his Mom and asking her to come and the fact that Kirk was able to fly her here gets me everytime. Just the selflessness of doing that for us and not even thinking twice about it I am sure. We needed Lana here so much and it just took such a load of to have her here. I will always be so greatful for such a wonderful family that we are a part of. When I look back at the long two weeks and the stress of it and think of poor Eric having to take all his tests I just want to curl up and sleep. You know we forget quickly about stuff like that and maybe we shouldn't forget so quickly. I remember a point in the beginning when we didn't know if Reese was going to make it and Eric and I being there just the two of us dealing with this nightmare and thinking wow I am so incredibly thankful for my marriage. I have someone I can rely on right now, that I can turn to and cry my eyes out, someone who knows exactly everything I am feeling and just thinking that this is what being married is about. So deeply thankful for Eric he is such a good man and kept me smiling the entire time. When I look back on the strength I had throughout the situation I have no idea where it came from, okay I do know where it came from, but I never thought I was capable of such strength. Part of me feels like I was in a type of shock were I had to be strong or I would have fell apart. I have often wondered how I would handle certain situations and I guess well maybe I now know. Something I also have wanted to write down is in the beginning up at the ICU when we were unsure if Reese was going to make it I remember thinking that I was going to be one of those parents, one of the parents that lost a child, a parent that knew the deepest grief that I think could be felt and I just couldn't beleive that I would become one of those parents. Oh how my heart goes out to those parents. I can imagine what pain you feel, I do know what it must feel like to have a broken heart I was almost one of you. I am so sorry for you. And as for my Heavenly Father I cannot express those feelings deeply or clearly enough. In the beginning I was constantly praying that is all I could do and then I reached a point where I stopped and I don't know how to explain it or why but I just felt like the Lord knew me, knew my heart, knew my pleadings, and knew what I needed. I felt like He took over for me and I didn't need to ask anymore. I felt Him there with me, comforting me, helping me, watching over me. He was there and helped me through this awful time and He was my strength that so many have wondered how I could have. A good friend sent me this email at the end of our trial and I really appreciated it because I lived this:

Malachi 3:3 says: "He will sit as a refiner and
> purifier of silver." This verse puzzled some women
> in a Bible study and they wondered what this
> statement meant about the character and nature of God.
>
> One of the women offered to find out the process of
> refining silver and get back to the group at their
> next Bible Study
> That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an
> appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention
> anything about the reason for her interest beyond her
> curiosity about the process of refining Silver.
>
> As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of
> silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained
> that in refining silver, one needed to hold the
> silver in the middle of the fire where the flames
> were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.
>
> The woman thought about God holding us in such a
> hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that
> says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver."
> She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had
> to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the
> silver was being refined.
>
> The man answered that yes, he not only had to
> sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his
> eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the
> fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the
> flames, it would be destroyed.
>
> The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the
> silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is
> fully refined?"
>
> He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy --
> when I see my image in it."
>
>
> If today you are feeling the heat of the fire,
> remember that God has his eye on you and will keep
> watching you until He sees His image in you.
>


So thankful for the restored health of our little Reese. She is such a joy in our life and has so much personality. She keeps us entertained and smiling. Thankful that we will be able to raise her and have her with us here on earth. Thankful for a wonderful husband, wonderful family, and for the friends that helped us through this hard time in our life. I am so thankful for a Heavnely Father who took over when I needed it the most.

We are home! We came home yesterday around noon. From then we have just been really tired. I think I was running on adrenaline for two weeks and now it has hit me. So we are just veggin'. Reese is still very lethargic but when Waklee got home last night she got her laughing. She is eating really good and slept well last night. She is just really weak and in unable to walk still but in time it will all be back to normal. Yesterday we felt so bad we laid her in our bed and she slept for over three hours and then we hear this faint whimper and run in there. She had tried to get out of bed and slid out but then couldn't walk or crawl and so started to whimper but when Eric opened the door he hit her in the head with it. Geesh poor kid. It was so nice last night to have our little family back together again. Thanks again for all of your prayers and thoughts.

My blog has been in competition with Charlotte's Web. Not joking. We have the old cartoon animated and the new real people Charlotte and I think I have watched between the two of them around five to six times each day. No complaints it could be something like Sponge Bob or Barney. It really is a sweet cute little show and definately Reese's favorite. Today has been a very lazy Easter Sunday. There was a luncheon put on today by one of the LDS churches here and we went to it. I was so glad to see that. We have recieved so many nice gestures from a few other churches and I was just thinking yesterday how I know that our LDS church does so so much service but sometimes atleast in our ward it is focused on a worlwide humanitarian effort and it just made me think of the importance of serving in our towns, cities etc. and within the next few hours Eric said oh look who is giong to have an Easter dinner tomorrow. So good for them. I took Reese on a wagon ride today and she did not like it. I don't know why? All day she keeps pointing to the door she is so ready to go home. I can't wait to see her face when she gets to walk in. Today Eric left to go to church and oh my so much little whining for her Daddy. Cute. And now for my Sunday sermon. I taught Relief Society a few weeks ago and it was a talk from a few years back my Elder Richard G. Scott. The talk was about choices and how they affect our lives and to preface his discussion about choices he talked about character. He made the point that our character is based upon choices and how our choices good or bad build up to our character. The part that I really like and have thought alot about these past few weeks and this isn't exact is he said that during times of trial it isn't a time to build our character but to rely on it. Which I am sure in the future I will look back on these few weeks and see that I built some character but I really do feel that we have relied on what we already were to get through this. Does that make sense? And not to say that we havn't relied on our Heavenly Father and have been so blessed through fasting and prayers of so m any of you. I am always teasing our cute newly weds Johnny and Haley that these first few years of marriage are character building years: being on your own, figuring out what type of person you will choose to be, to serve the Lord or not, and how to deal with the trials that come our way. But really isn't that what our entire life is about is building character and that is never-ending. Thanks for humoring me and reading all that. Back to Reese we are about 99% sure we get to take her home tomorrow. We are pretty much just waiting on her last dose of Methadone which she had and to see if her withdrawls are managable without it. Last night was a little long because she was awake from 3 to 7am so we just watched Charlotte's Web. I am anticipating some insomnia tonight and for the next few nights as well. But if that is all we have to deal with, no complaints. Her breathing is great! She can't walk yet her little legs are so weak but I am sure she will be up climbing the monkey bars soon. She has a good appetite and just keeps pointing to the door. She isn't talking at all, not that she really did before she is such an interesting kid. But really I think the only thing I have heard her say in the last few days is Dad but no worries. Once again thanks for all your support a nice friend brought Reese up Easter basket today, thanks so much. And if you are wondering what we are up to just know that we are just watching a spider weave words into a web.

Happy Birthday to our neice Riley! We are out of ICU!!!!!!! It is okay to do a shout out right now. Yee Haw! Last night we left around 6. Reese slept last night too. A new doctor came by today and has taken Reese down from her list of 27 medicines to about 10 now. She also ordered to have the I.V. out of her neck and the I.V. out of her wrist. That just happened and so now we can take Reese for a little wagon ride. I think taking out the I.V.s about broke her heart but she will ultimately be much much happier without them. So we are hooked to nothing now. We are hoping to come home on Monday but don't know yet. Waklee is on her way back to Oregon via the Chad's Girls Tribe ride. They went through the middle of the state and went through Bend to Eugene and then will spend the next few days coming up the beach doing some charterd whale watching, going to the sea lion caves, visit the tulip gardens. I am very jealous of that girl. So cute today to listen to Waklee talk to Reese on the phone. I could tell Reese missed her sissy. I went home yesterday afternoon for a few hours to sleep and shower and then came back. As soon as I got back Reese starting crying for me and then last night Eric went home to recover from finals week and this morning the first thing Reese said when she woke up was Dad? And then when he came in she started to cry for him. So she definately needs her parents right now. Our days right now include watching Charlotte's Web, reading books, playing with some toys, and sleeping and eating. We are so excited she is doing so good and it seems like it wasn't us two weeks ago faced with the scare of our lives. We appreciate all the prayers and thoughts. I know without a doubt that through those prayers that our Reese has recovered so quickly. It is interesting to listen to the doctors now. The day one and two of this experience the doctors were being very upfront about the seriousness of this and then from there they tapered off and let us know she would be okay. But to hear the doctors talk now it sounds like after day two they weren't exactly sure she was goinng to be okay. Oh how thankful we are. Just today as Eric and sat and played with Reese I said isn't it amazing how much a parent can love their child. It is unexplainable. Okay we are off to take her for a wagon ride through the hospital, sounds fun eh?

Reese has been feeling alot better each day. What a blessing to see her smiling and playing a little bit.

I haven't left the hospital all week and sometime in the last week all the cherry blossoms bloomed. So beautiful. I love Oregon this time of year. As I drove home today and sitting in traffic I thought about my week and wow how things have changed. Today Reese and I spent the day watching movies, reading books, playing with a Mr. Potato Head, drinking juice and eating apple sauce and I may have even snuck her a fry. Yesterday the doctor told me we would be in ICU until Saturday or Sunday and that Reese wouldn't be doing anything she normally does until about three days out. Today they told me if they get another ICU patient that they would move us out but if they don't they will keep us until tomorrow. I don't mind staying the extra day because they take such good care of us but it was nice to know that they felt they could send us out to the acute care. Reese even said some words today that she has never said before and today she smiled. So heartwarming. Our hardest thing right now is the withdrawls and in the last 32 hours she has slept maybe a total of five hours. So yes we had a very long night last night. She gets the shakes when it is time for her methodone and everyone once in awhile I see her get crazy eyes and she hallucinates. The nurse assured me that the hallunications are probably entertaining things like talking animals. She will also get where she has to scratch or claw at her tubes and so last night she did finally attack her feeding tube and brought right on out. It totally grossed me out but deep down I was so glad that she did it because I didn't think they were going to need anymore anyhow and they haven't. She has been much happier since she took it out to. The cords that are left is an I.V. in her neck and her wrist. A little cord that goes around her toe to measure her oxygen levels and a few cords attached to stickers on her chest. So not too many left. They test her blook every eight hours to test the oxygen levels and it has been right on. Yeah. I didn't bring my camera home so I will have Eric post a picture of her later tonight. They also last night after Reese wouldn't fall asleep went and got an adult bed and put her in it and let me lay next to her. So that has been really nice because I can snuggle her or hold her anytime I want to. Things are definately on the up and up and we just can't wait to bring her home.

This is a little video of Reese just after the Tube got taken out. She is still a little bit shaky and tired.

(To View video click on play, and if it starts and stops press Pause and wait a few minutes and then hit play again.)

A long awaited day the tube came out. Oh how happy we are but I am becoming so exhausted that I don't know if anyone would know I am estatic. Even though it is great and wonderful to have the tube out it is also a whole different game. In the beginning I had the scare of hoping they wouldn't have to do an emergency intabate and scared because we have relied on a machine to breath for her for so long. Reese's breathing is a very loud wheez which they tell me is normal. It is due to her throat being inflamed making it sore and a little harder to breath. She now has to have breathing treatments. They also have had to put a small tube down through her nose back into her throat to suck out mucus that Reese doesn't want to cough up due to a sore throat. We have a few little interesting moments of drug withdrawls. Her eyes will sort of roll back and her lids are wide open. The first time it freaked me out and is still a little creepy. She gets the shakes a little bit. But considering the other symptoms of throwing up, sweating, shaking, scratching I would say we are very lucky to only have to deal with crazy eyes. Oh her other withdrawl symptom has been insomnia. They took the tube out around noon and she just now as gone back to sleep with a little help from some drugs.

Eric was able to come up this afternoon and the second Reese saw him her face turned bright red and she looked at him like oh there is somebody who will help me, somebody who will take all these cords off of me. Reese has actually been pretty good about not pulling at her cords too much. Johnny and Haley came up and when Haley sat down by Reese, Reesie pointed to her mouth. I think she was trying to tell Haley that her throat is sore. She sure is tiny too. Her arms and legs are so thin. I go to hold her this afternoon which was pure bliss. I have no idea how much longer in the ICU but things are looking up. They tell me that tomorow she will be breathing even better.

Oh yeah! They started the methadone today and said maybe tomorrow we can take out the tube. The catheter was taken out today by default she had a really bad diaper. She is resting quite peacefully today and yesterday as well. Yesterday afternnoon she was quite alert and I read her a book and she tried to hold it. So nice to see my kid coming back. Although yesterday she kept doing her silent cries and when I undid her restraints so she could hold bunny tight she put her hands out for me. Oh break my heart. She is such a little sweetie. I can't wait to hold her again she is such a snuggler so I won't need to put her down for days. Can't wait. We had to share our room last night and today but it has been okay. It is a tiny 3 week baby who had to have a surgery and should be out of ICU later today and then we can have our room back too. Waklee is having so much fun in Idaho that she doesn't have time to talk to us. Last night she talked to us for a second and then asked her cousins if they wanted to talk to us. Sorry cousins but we weren't as excited to talk to you as Waklee. So alot less to talk about today. Things are just going well and I am so excited.

Penny forgot to put the pictures of Reese's Green Toes for St. Patty's Day on......so here they are.

I am trying real hard not to let anyone know that at times I can have a potty mouth, usually when I get stressed I don't drop any big words just those little ones. So today they switched her to a less aggressive respirator. She has had her eyes open quite a bit and is couging a lot. She has been doing little things like wanting to rub her eyes or trying to stretch just Reese things. Did you know that your kids stretch a certain way. Watch them and you will notice that most everytime they wake up they will do the same stretch. I love to watch my kids stretch because they really savor that stretch and get all they can out of it. We are pretty much waiting on the machine to tell us that she can breath enough on her own to take her off. She did spike a fever last night so they drew blood and are running some tests on it to see what is going on with that. Her muscles are also really tight. I tried doing some little exercises for her today but could tell she didn't like it. I think once she wakes they will have the physical thereapist work with her. Reese always has had these cute little calves and right now they look so wimpy and small. Now for the tears. Eric hasn't been able to be up here much. He has eleven tests this week but after the crummy day (oh I refrained myself from cussing) yesterday he came up for a little bit. It was nice and when he walked over and talked to Reese she raised her eyebrows and tried to open her eyes. Later when he left he didn't make a big deal about leaving but I was over with Reese and she started to cry. This was the first time she has cried. It isn't a noisy cry because Reese can't make noises with the tube in her. But I saw her body shake and her face turned red and well she was crying and there was even a little tear. Oh man I about lost it. The nurse came in and I said what do you think is wrong and she said it may be because her Dad left. Oh man. The nurse asked if she was a Daddy's girl and I shook my head yes. Once I gathered myself I said to the nurse ,who has been with us many many days and sort of knows us, "how could you not be a daddy's girl with a Dad like that?" Eric is such a wonderful fun nice Dad. He is the sunshine in the home. I think in most homes it is the Mom who brings that sunshine into the home but not at our home. Eric keeps us laughing although there is plenty of pestering but we all just wait for him to come home each day. He said yesterday it was pretty hard to be home because his entourage wasn't there to greet him. Eric makes his girls all of his girls feel like we are quite special. Today there have been more tears. I don't think she is in pain but she will just start to cry and these tiny tears leak out of here eyes. I just can't wait until we can get this tube out and she can have a little normalcy back.

Reese has in her green bow and we painted her toenails green last night. Dang I wish I had my camera. Today is a very hard day. While Reese continues to progress things will get to be more difficult for Reese and for us and this is why. The drug lesson: Since Reese has had to be on so much sedatives and pain meds she is now a little addict. The closer we get to taking out her breathing tube (it won't be Tuesday, but soon) they start to wean her off the drugs. They are going to give her some methadone to help her bridge on over. She may even have to go home on methadone. Also because of the addiction she started to have withdrawls. She gets shakey and agitated and can't settle herself down. She did this for about three hours before they finally gave her some more drugs to help her settle. Consequently my emotions are very close to the surface and it sucks. Moving on. reese is quite the little fighter. No one had to tell her parents this but all the doctors and nurses have made reference to our little fighter. She has been described as fiesty, stubborn, a fireball, persistant and my latest two favorites would be a firecracker and a pistol. This is one of many reasons I love my little Reesie girl. I admire all her fiestiness. Huh wonder where she got it from?

It's Beginning to feel a lot like Christmas..........only a few more days until my girl gets to wake up. Remember being a kid and that anticipation of Christmas, you know I still get that way. You dream about it, it's all you can think about, you imagine the presents you are going to get and your reaction when you open them. That is me. I keep wondering what Reese is going to do once she can open up her eyes and see her Ma-Ma. I can't wait. Unfortunately it was a busy day in the ICU and so me and my crush didn't get to talk much. Seriously I need to take a picture so no one worries about me, he is just so nice and a very good doctor. Okay the medical updates for today include more progress. Her secrections are getting lighter in color and not so gooey. They put her on her stomach again today and I guess the readings on the machine indicated that she didn't like being on her tummy so they flipped her back over. Little stinker is metabolizing her drugs like crazy and that is lesson for another day. They are running some blood tests to figure a few things out about her blood. I really don't understand it but right now it sounds like it ins't a huge concern. What I do understand is that the transfusions she has had her body is fighting off the red blood cells which isn't good but don't ask me why and secondly an entirely different problem has something to do with her white blood cells but they are running tests on those too. So yes she is improving but she is also relying on a machine to breathe for her so it is still a little scary but I think I am just used to it from being here for so long. What I have been up to you ask? Well the three things that have saved my life is 1. Getting me feelings out. I have always been a big journaler and have filled up several journals in my lifetime. I love to go back and read them and see all that I wanted to be and I think more importantly all that I DO NOT want to be. I think that sometimes we forget what we really wanted when we were young. I know that when I was younger I had some great ambitions and I also had my priorities in the right place and for some odd reason as we get older we get too busy and loose sight of those good ambitions and mix up our priorities. So I always try and write down not only what I want to become but what I DON'T want to become. 2. My next obsession has been books. I love to read and am finishing my second book tonight. I have to read an easy-read though because it is a little hard to concentrate. 3. My thrid passer of time would be Wi-Fi. I guess the hospial just got it about two weeks ago. I cannot express how easy this had made my life. I have been doing some blog stalking, some on-line window shopping, and Choo-Choo yep I have been playing Ticket to Ride and rocking out to Taylor Swift. I love that Ticket to Ride Game besides it is so addicting. But here in a few short days I won't have time for any of my time passers. I can't wait because it means Reese will be awake!

Well things are progressing. To actually look at Reese you can't tell but things like she is off her BP Meds, her blood shows perfect oxygen levels, the x-ray showed improvement and they are suctioning the nasty out now and then. Yesterday one of the doctors said we could be in ICU for up to two weeks and then in acute care for another two weeks. But we are being optimistic and hoping to cut that in almost half. She is quite puffy but they are giving her something to help with this. They gave her a 3rd blood transfusion and increased her level of sedation. She has been waking a little. When I say wake that means she will turn her head side to side, move her legs a little and sort of thrash around. It isn't a pretty site but today I thought you know it is sort of nice to see her doing something on her own. Today a doctor came in and said positively, "we have seen improvement on her x-ray and she is progressing faster then we thought she would." I told him we have a lot of people praying for us. He said well it is nothing that I have done. It is so interesting to see the reactions of doctors when we make these types of comments. Pretty much they don't have a reaction and well it just makes you wonder where and if they have faith in anything other than the medicine. Don't get me wrong every night one of my top three things I am thankful for is Modern Medicine. So many people have expressed so much love and concern and are offering prayers. Today we had a friend call that Eric and I knew back at our days in Ricks. So thanks Jen it's been what 10 years? Way too long. Many of our family members have been fasting and my sister in law pointed out that as she watched her little girls fasting for baby Reese she thought how can Heavenly Father deny that? Our sweet Blake is maybe 9 or 10 chose to fast and he got sick from not eating. All of your prayers and fasts mean so much to us and have given us so much peace. Today Eric and I were in our room laughing so hard that a nurse quickly came out of her office and did a walk by because I think she thought we were in here wailing. I felt sort of bad but we really are doing good. We do have our moments. For me it is the oddest thing...each time I eat I get really emotional and just start to cry. Maybe that is a sign I shouldn't eat. On a much more personal note, which is hard for me to do, but I really do want to share is when we were first admitted to the ER I had this overwhelming NEED that I wanted Reese to have a priesthood blessing. Johnny came down to the hospital and Eric and Johnny offered her a blessing. Up to this point I was scared to death and for good reason. As Eric began to give Reese the blessing I it almost felt like a feather went from the right side of my chest to the left and it brushed a distinct strong feeling of peace there. I remember right then telling myself okay Pen whatever happens I have to remember this very moment and with this moment I can accept what was to come no matter how hard. I am so thankful for the power of the priesthood and that I have a husband who lives a worthy life to be able to offer those blessing whenever he needs to. I am so thankful for such deep faith which I am learning runs deeper than I knew and knowing that families can be together forever because I can't imagine it any other way.

Alright, I thought I should add some to this Blog. Last night Grandma Lana, Waklee and I went to see little Reese. Waklee has been asking questions and has been looking at pictures of Reese so we talked to her about what is happening and took her down. She did wonderful, and we got to rub her feet and play with her pigs. Waklee and Penny went out to play with some toys and Grandma came in at a bad time. Reese started to cough and it is not a pretty sight. It was hard on Grandma to see but reality is not always wonderful.

Waklee and Grandma went and bought a fluffy bunny and Waklee had to write sissy a little note. She drew a stethoscope and wrote, "Dear Reese, How are you doing? I love you Waklee".

Now on to the Anatomy Lesson. There is a little space around the Lung. It is called the Pleural Cavity. If you open up this picture you can see it on the right. I can't imagine how small her little lungs are, let alone having it squished. Reese had some infection and fluid here and it was pushing on her lung so that it would not fully inflate. The Dr.'s put a little tube between her ribs and into this space so that it would drain off. They put 95ml of TPA, a thinner, in to clean it out and then they have let it drain. So far about 700 ml of fluid has come out. So think about how much that is. Your liter pop is just a little bit more than what she had so far. This all may seem gross but when you see the color come back into her face and see her resting a little bit easier, it is all worth it.

The staff at the ICU are now working hard to get the infection out of her lungs. Last night she had a good and productive night. The nurse said that Penny has been able to rest, which we are grateful for, and Reese was able to cough some of the infection up.

Again thanx to everyones prayers and help.

I was just told by my mother that this is not for a grade, but it lets us all know how fragile life is.

We are having a good day. They put Reese on a different ventilator that a part of it sits on her chest and vibrates little vibrations (around 500 per minute) to shake things up in her lung. They say they are seeing good results already from this. They also did the HTP procedure again today and drained out a lot more junk. She had to have a suppository which will be a good thing later today. They are going to give her another transfusion but this is to be expected. The doctor told me this afternoon to expect to be here in ICU for a week and they don't know how long we will be in acute care but I am hoping just a week there too. It is hard to be up here in the ICU and see other parents dealing with their heartaches. I have so much peace and know I eventually get to take my baby home. I said to the nurse yesterday, "Man some of these parents look hammered." She said well some of them are and I said oh I didn't mean drunk and she said well some of them are we get that alot. So my heart goes out to them because they do look pretty rough. Just so you know we are still smiling and laughing around here, come on I am married to Eric, but yesterday when I woke up I met my nurse and she is giving me some info and I am still a little blurry eyed. I am looking at her and listening and I notice she has on green eye shadow and then I notice a charm necklace with a little green charm and then I notice she has on a green shirt under her scrubs. I interrupt her and asked if it was St. Patricks Day and she just says No. I was dying because I am sure she was thinking you think I look like a leprechaun and I just oh I don't even know what day it is. Isn't that so Penny to just say or ask what she is thinking. So anywho today she didn't wear her green eyeshadow which is too bad because I sort of liked it. But I can't wait to see her on St.Patty's Day. But hey she is more than great I feel like she is one of my best friends now. This silly lady in here today she was a respiratory therapist and says now are you going to be taking her to Seattle? I sort of looked at her like what the heck are you talking about? She says you know they do really good transplants there and I just said oh. But I thinking what what what? No one has told me my baby has to have a lung transplant. So I go out to my nurse buddy and said now I got a question? Well Reese DOES NOT need a lung transplant. This lady had us confused with a different patient. Nice Eh. So the nurse and I sort of chuckled at that one even though it isn't the least bit funny but I didn't know what else I could do. Waklee is doing great! She has her dear Grandma Lana taking such wonderful care of her. She already got her new Easter shoes, planted some Easter grass and if anyone knows Grandma Lana they know they are having a really great time! We are so thankful she was able to come. Eric and I were talking today about all that and here is the story. When in the ER at the beginning and they told me what we were in for and I was just thinking what are we going to do with Waklee. She had already missed two days of school last week because Reese was sick and I was out of town. My Mom's Dad passed away last week and so my Mom was still having to go to Colorado to bury my Grandpa and has a lot of things in Texas she needs to attend to. I knew she would come as soon as possible but I also knew it would be hard for her. So in the ER I told Eric I need your Mom to come. Eric called his parents around 2 am and they were able to fly into Portland 6 hours later. I still shake my head in amazement. I guess they checked flights and it was going to route them through California and Michelle caught wind of this and called Rebecca and so Kirk and Becky called Grandma and Grandpa and said Kirk would fly them out here and so they came. I am so appreciative of that. Thankyou Kirk and Becky! It took off a big load of stress knowing that Waklee was going to be in Grandma Heaven and that we could focus on our baby and plus it was so nice to have Neil here for the short time that he was. I will tell you what we have a great family. So many of our family and friends from Idaho have offered to drop everything and just come. We have had so many people here in Portland offering to help and I am going to take you up on that as soon as we get home. Right now everything is taken care of though. Poor Eric has his National Boards this Friday, Saturday, Sunday and then 13 finals that start the next day. Good thing that guy doesn't get too stressed about life. No he does get stressed but has an amazing way of dealing with it. So pray for him too he will need it. Thanks for your comments it is nice to know we have so much support.

Yesterday was such a good day that I knew I needed to be prepared for a few bad days. Today is not a bad day it is just we want to see more improvement. One thing yesterday that I think I failed to mention is she received a blood transfusion and her coloring looks a lot better. So yesterday they did the TPA fluid and got a lot of junk out and then took a new x-ray this morning that didn't show much improvement even though we did get a lot of stuff out. So they sent her for a CT scan to be able to view her lung differently and to decide if they wanted to do a laproscopic surgery. The CT scan showed that the fluids are not around her lung but inside and so they will not do the surgery, which it is always good to avoid surgery. The fluids that are in the lung are just going to take time to get out. They have diagnosed her pneumonia as the strep strain and have singled out the best antibiotic that she is responding to. She did wake in the night around 4 am which once again I have to suppress throwing up. My stomach is being pretty queasy it is how I react to very stressful situations. I actually feel like I am in highschool getting ready to run a 400 meter which isn't interesting that 10 years ago that was my biggest stress seeing how fast I could run around the track once. But when she wakes she isn't aware of what is going on but trying to move and tug and her many cords and we have to hold her down. She usually some junk in her tube that she is trying to couch out and so it is just hard to watch. Reese is on blood pressure medicine again. They keep taking her off and on which is okay because at some points she is able to regulate that herself. And so we wait. We wait for more of the infection to leave her body. So while think are not better today atleast she is stable. We are so blessed to be here at Emmanuel Childrens Hospital. Reese has a RN that is with her 24-7 and sits outside our room and watches through a glass window. In an hour she is in our room probably a dozen times checking monitors and changing fluids, suctioning mucus, and I am sure a lot of other stuff I have no idea about. Next we have a Respiratory therapist that comes in about once an hour. We havie a pediatric intensivist who only deals with children in the ICU and then we have a lung specialist. They are very good doctors. Her meds she is on is dopamine for her BP meds, versed for sedation, morphine for pain, rocephin is the antiobiotic and once in awhile they give her penabarb for pain when she wakes up to put her back under. And so as Waklee's readers say at the end of the short story.....more to come.

I am having a pretty good day so far. Reese did wake a little this morning around 5 am which isn't what we want because when she wakes she feels discomfort and is pulling at her cords. It made my stomach sick to watch but they were able to get her back under shortly. A doctor came in around 8 am and briefly talked to me about another little girl that he had last week and he said that she was Reese's mirror image patient. This little girl spent about a week in ICU and is now recovering in the pediatric unit. It was the first time a doctor has said we are going to get through this instead of this is life-threatening and we don't know yet. So this was a big huge gigantic relief. He reccomended a possible procedure they may do where they perform a laproscopic surgery (vats) and go in and scrape the lung clean. Later the lung specialist, a different docotr, came in and I questioned him about the VATS procedure and he let me know it is a good option but maybe not our next step. He recommended we give her a drug called HTP which is similiar to a blood thinner in that it would thin the infection that is in her lung. And so this morning around noon they will start that. This doctor was also reassuring and let me know that with how she is responding to treatment thus far that we will see recovery but we just don't know how quickly. The signs that show she is improving is that through the respirator her vitals are sustained. If she was taken off the respirator she wouldn't be able to breate and so that is why we are in the ICU. But since her vitals are good, her blood pressure is good, her temperture is doing pretty good and other stuff she is sustained. Today they are also going to start feeding her intravenously. I really do feel at peace about the situation. We are so thankful for your prayers. I think I am still in shock that I am in this situation and guess I try and not think too much about it. It was hard yesterday when I went home and slept for a bit and showered. As I was putting on my makeup I instictively kept glancing over waiting for Reese to stick out her hand for her moisturizer and looking for my make-up brushes to apply her eyeliner and blush. I will definately never say she is driving me crazy again and Eric knows that we now have a new bed partner for life. We were trying to break that habit and I said I would never have a kid who sleeps in my bed with me but somehow she always finds her way in. I guess we will have to get a bigger bed. I brought down a picture of Reese with her snuggle bunny and the tutu with the four crazy ponies on top and everyone has shown their appreciation that they can see what she is really like. I am so thankful she has a lot of spunk because it will help her get through all of this.

A few thoughts from Saturday and Sunday. It really is all a blur and nice man Geoffrey assured us that we will look back and laugh about this, can't wait................but in the emergency room I knew things were serious. After getting the chest x-ray the doctor came in and said we have a big case of pneumonia, "I said can you please repeat that." I just had to take it in and process it. She let us know that the special unit would be coming in transporting her to the childrens hospital. I directly asked her, "My baby isn't going to die is she? And she responded with, "we are going to do the best we can." My heart about broke and that it about the time I lost it and you think to yourself this can't be me and my baby in this situation. Next Geoffrey who is a part of this special unit came and after they had checked her out he said they would like to give her a paralzying drug and sedate her so that they could intrabate. At this point I am thinking you can do anything you want to just keep her alive. After a few seconds I realize that Geoffrey is going to put my baby under and then the questions started. How long? What will it be like for her? The enormity of it became real. Looking back this was the best thing we did, it was do it in a calm planned calculated setting versus an emergency situation where she wasn't breathing and then do it. Everyone has been so so kind. I haven't met anyone yet who hasn't been so observant of our feelings.

Just now the social worker came in to see if there was anything we needed and once again I sit here and try and respond to her and just can't believe I am here. I had to suppress the tears. I am so thankful for all the support and to a wonderful strong husband. I have seen a few Moms in here that I know they don't have a spouse to turn to. We are so blessed.

Well last Monday, March 3, 2008, Reese came down with a Fever. The next morning it was down. that evening the Fever was back. Again, the fever broke and that night it was back. The fever was up to 105.5 degrees. We tried our best to get it down because the next day, Thursday, Penny was flying out to Texas to her grandpa's funeral.

I was staying home to get ready for National Boards and finals that would be one week away. Waklee and Reese were going to stay with our good friends Caren and Rick Weber. Caren is a hygienist at the dental office Penny worked at, and has been there for both our little girls since the first days of Waklee refusing to wear shoes and sock.

I took Reese into the Dr's office Thursday AM after dropping Penny off at the Airport. They said she looks and sounds good, and is fighting the flu. I took her to Caren's house and Waklee started playing and little Reese was exhausted and took a nap. The next AM Caren told me that she didnt' sleep well, so I went and picked them up. Her breathing was belabored and so I called the Dr's office and they didn't sound too alarmed so I was alright.

Friday night she didn't sleep much and was very thirsty in the AM. Her coughing had stopped but she was still breathing hard. She was so exhausted that she went back to sleep and her breathing normalized quite a bit. She slept for a couple of hours and then woke up and Waklee was in the tub and I was thinking that maybe she was gassy (spelling check please) or maybe even constipated so I put her in the tub with Sissy. Little Reese was so tired that she fell asleep in Waklee's Lap as she pushed a little bit of water over her tummy, hoping that it would make it feel better. We got her out of the tub and she watched a little bit of the Bee Movie while we made an egg for her. Waklee was eating her egg sandwich and said, "thanx dad for the eggs" and little Reese said, "Dadu dad." Just after that she fell back asleep and I went to get Penny at the airport as Uncle Brocky came and watched the girls.

As soon as Penny came in the door, she went to see the girls and she noticed that she wasn't doing good and we went directly to the ER.

It only took a minute to get her in to see a nurse and she checked her oxygen levels and took us Right back. Within minutes she was surrounded by the nurses and doctors getting her stable and comfortable. They told us that she would need to be taken by ambulance to Legacy Emanuel Pediatric ICU.

The good doctors and nurses got her intubated and sedated so that she can rest and recovery a lot faster. They told us that her entire right lung is full of bacteria. They are working hard to get this little girl better.

I (Eric), called home and asked my mother to come and help, and in 4 short hours my family had come together and got her here. Michelle heard about it and called Rebecca and Kirk and Kirk said he would fly her out. How blessed we are to have such a loving and supporting family.

As a saw grandma and grandpa get off of the elevator, I noticed that Dad had is suit on. Trying to be brave and a bit of a smart alec I asked him if he was going to church. Little did I know that he had come ready to help me give her a blessing of health. We went in and saw her, and then Dad and I placed our hands on her head to give her a blessing.

As I think of the trials we are given, I am so very grateful to wonderful friends and family that are willing to fast, pray and help us overcome the trials in our life.

Little Reeses is resting well this evening. Geoffere, a nurse that accompanied the girls in the ambulance came by tonight and said that she looked a lot better than she did. They tell us that she is just fighting this infection in her lungs and it will take some time.

We thank you all for your prayers in Reese's behalf and also our behalf and want you all to know of our love and want you all to hug your loved ones and thank Our Heavenly Father for the Health we enjoy.