So this may be a bazaar post to some...but I'm here to tell you that there really is such a thing as. ..
{Cemetery Etiquette} I know, it's odd to talk about, but I've learned a lot about the cemetery, and I'm going to pay it forward! I've been thinking about it a lot, because right now, I'm angry with the Cemetery "rules" . I just finished decorating Nat's grave for Jan/Feb and it was dang fabulous! It was a combination of silver sparkles,leaves and sprays and white snowflakes, and shimmery red berries and hearts for valentines... A huge fooffy silver sparkly bow and all...you should have seen it! ....but you can't because it was on there for about 2 days and the Cemetery {sexton} {how's that for a name for ya} went and had "clean up week" {which I paid no mind too...my own fault} and took OFF all of the fabulousness and threw it away! Unbelievable. Melanie was with me during the decorating process...she even took a picture since it was so fabulous...and strangely enough, when going to download the picture into her computer...the memory card was blank! BLANK! how could that be? So I can't even show you how darling it was...which makes me even more mad!
So before I get into the etiquette of visitors to the cemetery...I'll share with you some awesome experiences I've had at the cemetery. It really is hallowed ground...and just going there makes me happy. I like to believe that Natalie knows when someone visit's her grave...maybe she just knows through a feeling that someone has taken the time to think of her...
I have been approached at the cemetery by complete strangers, who have wondered about Natalie and have asked about her. I love to tell them about her, about Noah and that he is loved and happy.
I have found amazing things left at Natalie's grave...
1. {A war metal from Irag}....I have no idea who left it, I went one day and it was there on her headstone. I've saved it. I would love to know some day who left it there....it touched my heart.
2. {A Pink Flamingo!} This was left by Natalie's Aunt Jean....I know it made Natalie's day, and it sure put a smile on my face...I chuckled about it for days!
3. There are always cute little bundles of {plastic flowers}...I don't know who leaves them, but when I find them there....it warms my heart
4. Annie ALWAYS leaves {beautiful flower arrangements}....she creates, them and pours plaster in the bottom of the container so they won't fall over....you are amazing Annie!! I know immediately when Annie has been there. ....so does Natalie
6. Noah loves to take {yard ornaments}...Tiffany will let him pick out something to take to her, and he always picks a darling wiggly, wobbly something that will move in the wind....or windmill... when he was little, he would go around the cemetary and collect all the twirling windmills {refer to #25 on the etiquette list}...we would have to remember where he took them from and promptly put them back in place. ... and {balloons} he loves to take her a balloon.
7. A tiny baby frog took up home at the base of Natalie's head stone for a while there...everytime I would go visit...I swear I saw the same baby frog there...
8. I went to the cemetary one day...there was a man in full scottish kilt attire playing the bagpipe....slowly walking up and down the rows of the cemetary playing the bag pipe. This was one of the most amazing things I've ever witnessed. I felt like I shouldn't be there...it was sacred, ... it was humbling.
9. Flowers from a friends daughters wedding... of all the things that have touched me most is that after the joy of their wedding, {Jenn} thought to bring the beautiful flowers to Natalie... amazing friendship..
Many things have also been taken from Natalies grave...and this is very disheartning....to take something for her that reminds you of her...that you know she would love...and for some reason unknown to me... some people think that the decoration is there for the taking. The cemetery {sexton} tells me that it's mostly older women who take things for their yards... SERIOUSLY little old ladies? ...which brings me to cemetery etiquette....hey why not, there is table setting etiquette, wedding etiquette, all kinds of etiquette...let's all get versed on cemetary etiquette!.... I especially love #25....and I think it should be posted at the cemetery!
These are the real deal...found them on the internet!
1. Take only photos, leave only footprints.
2. Do not touch memorials or artifacts. They are privately owned outdoor sculptures.
3.Do not bring alcohol, firearms or entertainment items into cemeteries.
4.Show respect for the dead.
5. Maintain supervision of children and teach them to respect the dead.
6.Keep pets under control and clean up after them.
7. Do not litter, this includes cigarette butts.
8. Do not interfere with the plants or wildlife that inhabit the cemetery.
9. Keep your vehicle on designated roadways or in parking areas.
10. Do not leave vehicle idling. This can damage historic structures and sculptures.
11. Please stay on designated walkways or footpaths.
12. Obey posted times of operation or refer to local laws on the matter.
13. Promptly report suspicious activities or any type of vandalism to local authorities.
14. Do not use cemeteries as a camping ground or a lover's lane.
15. Picnics are usually acceptable as long as you clean up afterwards.
16. Turn off your car radio/stereo while driving or parking in cemeteries.
17. Observe floral regulations.
18. In some cultures, photographing cemeteries or mourners is a taboo. If told to put away your camera, do so.
19. Keep a respectful silence. Speak to your companions in a low tone of voice.
20. If asked to leave a cemetery by an employee, mourner, or officer of the law, do so without argument unless you have a legitimate purpose for being there. Tourism does not count as legitimate in some locales.
21. Do not apply shaving cream to stones. Learn to use the light to your advantage.
22. Avoid mourners. If they approach you, be honest about the purpose of your visit. If you wish to photograph them, ask their permission. On certain holidays, such as Memorial Day or the Day of the Dead, this rule might be relaxed. Many families are very willing to include a stranger in their circle and tell her or him about the loved one(s) being honored.
23. Be friendly and courteous to all that you meet.
24. Do not do tombstone rubbings on thin stones. Your weight may crack or snap the stone.
25. Do not remove anything from a grave that you did not put there yourself unless it is obvious litter. This includes flowers, coins, stones, dirt, and other artifacts.
Stand in holy places.... the cemetery is a holy place...hallowed ground. A place where I go to remember, to love, to know that Natalie knows we think of her...and yes, I'll make her little resting place on earth fabulous and darling...because I know that she would like it that way...and it makes me smile~
