RG's Reality in Dream

This April gives a sense that it is passing so damn fast… All in a sudden, we are reaching end of the month… and spring season is always beautiful with not-too-warm-not-too-cold nice weather, plus no more hassle on clothing before going out…

This recent time seems quite relaxing… Next weekend got Labour Day holiday and we will be having 3-day off (but Sunday has replacement class pulak) then the next weekend have another 3-day off again due to 9 May which is Victory Day in Russia…

Don’t know what I am going to do yet during that precious short break… but for sure must appreciate them very much… Tired and bored of everything la…

Recently, my life is full of football topics again…yeah, again… In spite of our own football league which so far our 2nd year team is performing ok, though not among the title challengers d, but we are not in relegation zone also… haha…

Then, there is topic about Manchester United… I got the chance to watch live Champions League matches here, though TV here never show league match ady… So, hottest match recently of course is Man Utd vs Barcelona in semi final…

Just now unfortunately Man Utd lost against Chelsea in Premier Leagu… and seems the whole world is thinking that Man Utd has lost the title… aiks… come on, we are still on the top of the table, and we are holding great advantage on goal difference too… Just continue to have faith and hope, as Man Utd always define the real meaning of hope and miracles…

Anyway, I found that I have lost something in watching football here… maybe that something is called true passion and true support… Seems like no people around here support Man Utd with true heart, or should be label as Glory Hunter… when Man Utd on top form, everyone glorify them like heaven, then when in down time, criticise like hell as they are actually anti-Man Utd… Please la, if one call oneself as supporter for a team, then be a real supporter whenever ups and downs, but not fickle fans…

Btw, most of friends who are studying in local uni are beginning to have their long holidays right… and those who are in singapore uni are going to have holidays soon also… Happy Holidays ya… but my holidays time is so stupid… by the time I'm back to Malaysia, everyone have already finished their holidays and have to back to uni… Means that any class or badge’s gathering and activities during their holidays, I have to miss again as last year la…

Life is always about gain and loses though…

I realize that everyday my life in this hostel is just mainly spending most of time in my room, at this small table and space of mine, facing this square square laptop’s screen and wandering aimlessly to the world wide web through this little screen…then only after some time, forcing myself to open the books and struggling to study them for the sake of tomorrow’s classes… and this cycle goes on and on and on in the same way…

And then everyday rushing from one place to another place… facing same group of people but still feeling there is an invisible distance with them… and enduring same dull yet less productive classes…

Initially, I thought the study method and system here would be more creative and lively, but time after time it seems that here is just as worse as Malaysia…When we are trying to achieve the necessity of current life which is marks of all kinds of exams and tests, we lose ourselves, lose creativity and bravery to try, but just go for the safest way, apply only what is demanded by scheme, memorizing like hell and after that, get a feel of emptiness…

Most lecturers here just give a list of questions for self-study…and then we prepare the notes ourselves and present or answer them in the next class… After all, they never give explanation and even worse, we never know whether our answers and concepts are actually correct or not… In the end, people who study here may tend to think that what they know is everytime absolutely correct and if uncontrol, they might become boastful and over confident…

Some teachers’ English standards are just poor and it seems that they never get and understand what we answer to them… To impress them and make them to think that your answer is correct and you are ‘smart’, the only way is by talking English very fast, fluently and confidently, even though you crap till Holland or anywhere else la… Therefore, in short, it means that you have to be FAKE… fake in pretending that you are so confident even though you actually don’t know the exact answer or anything…

Eventually, I have to adapt and force myself to go into this kind of style too, just for the necessity of life, but not the desire of life… But it really just gives an empty feeling in the end as if we actually know nothing…

Nevertheless, knowledge and skills determines the standard of any person in any field, but not the mark or grade that come from nothing in classes… But when we can have neither both of them nor the first one which apparently is most important, our only choice is to hold on to the latter one which leaves least-but-better-than-none satisfaction to us…

Somehow, people tend to search for the true life to them when reach a particular stage of life… But environment always set a limit to people’s pure desire of life…

After all, I can’t change anything and can’t escape from this either…
I still have to work hard in the best possible way…