Those idle enough to be at home during the day-time in the UK in the 1990s will remember the day-time TV classic “Through the Keyhole”. For those who have never seen the show (and for many of those who have), this will be a bit lame. Basically the premise of the show on which this blog post is based is that panelists (who in this version are to be played by you the blog reader) are shown a number of parts of the inside of a d-list celebrity’s house (although in this case the house does not belong to a celebrity), and using clues gleaned from various items in the house they guess who lives in a house like this (i.e. who’s house is it).
So join us as we go through the keyhole (put the emphasis on “through” and “keyhole” for the full effect).
The front (and only) door opens directly into the front room. The front room appears to be some sort of bedroom/kitchen/study. The bed has a tasteful pink mosquito net. What’s more, all of the furniture appears to be made of plastic, and is of a size suitable for a children’s picnic or a bia hoi.
There is what looks like dung in the oven (and a trapped man holding a camera)!
And there’s more dung in the freezer! And ratatouille.
Is the pattern on the bed sheet a clue? Perhaps not. Above the text “Intimate Partners” it is decorated with a picture of two dogs, one wearing a flouncy hat and the other sporting bows in its head fur. This raises all sorts of questions about the animals depicted and what they symbolise: are these two cross-dressing male dogs, or two female dogs, or one cross-dressing male dog and one female dog? More importantly, animals should not wear clothes, regardless of their sex or sexuality.
Moving on from the front room, there is an attractive guest bedroom, with country cottage style curtains.
Throughout the property the walls are a relaxing shade of mint-green. The corridor has a number of functional but rustic touches, such as the use of aged bamboo for the equipment rail and clothes rail.
These people have a lot of dog food. Perhaps they have dogs?
The bathroom contains what looks like a home-made sink. A remarkable piece of bathroom furniture, it appears to have been ingeniously constructed by cutting a hole in a table and sinking a bowl into the space. This high-end item looks like the work of a master craftsman.
Consider the clues carefully - who lives in a house like this? Please remember, in rural Vietnam you rarely have a choice of decor!